#after bonding over so much shared trauma because apparently being aroace in the same spaces we’ve been in brings similar trauma | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

raeofgayshine · 3 months

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I made a joke about how every wedding should have Butter Barn Hoedown played at, because it’s honestly an iconic song. This led to my friend agreeing and saying they were going to bring it up to a mutual friend (though primarily their friend) for his (gay) wedding.

I made another joke after that if only I was marryable (alas I am aroace and have no desire even for a platonic marriage to be honest unless someone came along I felt comfortable enough for that with), I would play Butter Barn at my wedding.

And see. Here’s the thing I will be thinking about for a long time.

My friend then said, and I have no idea if this was a joke or serious, that I could just come to mutual friends wedding as their platonic date and all three of us could enjoy Butter Barn at a wedding together (And I could go to my first wedding also).

I don’t know if it was a joke. I don’t care either. The fact they would even joke about something like that, that I’m like enough of a friend they would consider that. Fuck dude, what am I supposed to do with that information? That makes me feel things

#ravenpuff rambles #I don’t want to get my hopes up #but this friend and a few of our mutual friends and also the little stream community they built #it feels like maybe this is my place. and these are my people #maybe not in the way young me dreamed of #but in a way that’s actually realistic #and it’s been a couple years now but especially lately #after bonding over so much shared trauma because apparently being aroace in the same spaces we’ve been in brings similar trauma #and finding someone that also happens to share a lot of your interests #and who is willing to be excited about them even when they don’t share them #yeah I feel things about that #at least for now #this is my place #I still have no idea if the wedding thing was a joke but fuck if it isn’t #I will find a way to attend I don’t have a job but I will figure something out #I’m chronic ill but I’m also resourceful and I’m already trying to figure out how to make money #so I can go see them not related to the wedding #I just want to be able to spend time with friends #but fuck is it hard to find a job when I am easily over stimulated cannot stand for literally any stretch of time #and have unpredictable brain fog fatigue and flare ups #I need to find a way to get into modding (in the moderator sense)#because I’m really good at that! and it’s done with a team so if i have a bad day someone will pick up the slack #I’m good at managing discords and Nightbot and other bots also because I just understand them #and I’m great at following rules and answering questions and helping to solve problems #and I’ve done really good I think so far with where I’ve been working #it’s just a small channel so it’s not like they get a lot of pay nor much to pass on #but it’s fun!#I’m also great at title and announcements I do both of those #I could be good at more social media I think also to promote stuff #I’m funny. I’m great at memes and little jokes and references.

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