#a thread in my discord gc and i want to compile them so bad it hurts | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lollybliz · 1 year

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I have ideas.

I have a peanut gallery of friends that get excited.

I have at least a couple spoons, sometimes.

I keep having to actively choose not to think about my wips not work on my wips not even look at my wips because I'll want to work on them and I have too much work and homework and my exam is coming up and I'm aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I want to write :'(

#bliz rambles #i have one that's technically only about half written but outlined and really will likely only take a wee bit to at least get the rough #draft done #i have another thats sprawling into a leggy fucking nightmare and ive been letting myself spew the ideas i have for it in little notes in #a thread in my discord gc and i want to compile them so bad it hurts #one of my friends made a sidelong comment yesterday that made me rwalize ive had a solution to a fic breaking problem #in my lap the whole goddamn time #and i cant work on a single fucking one of them #because if i let myself write for fun im going to blow every last spoon on it i know i will #and i have so few right now #because my pain is being Mean and i have a lot i /need/ to get done with those few spoons #and so i wait #and im so afraid that by the time i have time again #i wont have the motivation or the ideas will dry up or i'll be too burnt #i already feel like a pile of ash #but i have ideas. and i have /hope/ which is /wild/ because i thought i didnt like writinf and i thought i was bad at it #but my god people like my latest fic #like a lot more than i thought anyone ever might fjdjdksk #theres only 7 public bookmarks but my stats page says there're 32 🤣#i will /take that fucking win/ and id like to run with it i really would #but i have so much to do #dont work 6 days a week kids. not unless you get /really/ good benefits and they pay you for drive time.#and even then probably dont

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