#a lot of my issues with the way i wrote ida basically stem from the fact that i came up with her when i was like. what. 15? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cactusfru1ts · 1 year

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as i learn more about aac + the people who use it im starting to feel incredibly complicated about my one active dnd character being autistic + mute + those two things being completely unrelated (at least in terms of origin obviously theyve become very much related over the years). like. i dunno. i love ida and i love playing ida and if i was coming up with ida today she would be virtually unrecognizable because holy shit i did not think this character through when i was coming up with her

#quetzposting #a lot of my issues with the way i wrote ida basically stem from the fact that i came up with her when i was like. what. 15?#and ive been able to iron things out a LOT over the past four years #but i still feel a little weird about playing a character whose autism is like. definitely a disability. and trying to figure out how that-#-works with and impacts her acquired disability because while i do still sometimes lose speech i really dont have the like. lived experience #that would make me fully comfortable playing her the way i would probably write her if she wasnt. yk. a dnd character.#i guess what it comes down to is like. all of my best characters have had a part of me in them. usually that part comes with a little autism #or bipolar or aromanticism or dysphoria or compulsive behavior or superstition or whatever the fuck else #and while im trying to figure out my own disability (and coming to terms with the way my autism impacts it + often makes it worse)#im having to look at ida and try to separate out the parts of me that became her and the parts of her that became me #and her disability is… not really either one of those #even though it did come from me because at the time i pretty much had a selective mutism thing goin on #and it did come from her because playing her has helped me understand my own disability #even though its so different from hers #its just really weird to think about. and i do wish id played her a bit differently from the beginning #its extra weird because i straight up dont remember huge chunks of the campaign lmao #thanks for that dissociative disorder. really appreciate it (sarcasm)

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