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wedreamedlove · 4 years

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Bai Qi In Love - Character Study

Archiving from Reddit. This is also the main post I wanted to bring over but it required my previous Bai Qi - Character Study post LOL.

So I went through Bai Qi's Spring Festival Date and I have not been the same ever since, so I wanted to expel all my emotions in another character post.

Had a couple of songs in the background while I was writing this, so feel free to put them on too while reading this post LOL.

Contains spoilers up to Chapter 15 and lines from unreleased CN cards. Translations are from the CN and JP version, so may have differing lines from the ENG version.

My road map this time is starting out with the origin of Bai Qi's love, moving onto his letter, how he's gone through his life with MC being his North Star, and then finishing off again with just how much he wants to share every moment of his life with her.

I mentioned before in my Speech Quirks post that Bai Qi always defaults to absolute sincerity when he's not sure how to respond to MC and I hope this reminds you of that, and just how he has a sixth sense when it comes to MC. Every cell in his body is attuned to her.

Normally, this level of devotion to someone is probably unhealthy but, well, MC is the paragon of goodness here so he's in good hands LOL.

FALLING SLOWLY (IN LOVE)

First (another song here!), this is the JP translation of ground zero in the [Campus Date]:

The man raised his knife and attacked Bai Qi, stabbing the sharp blade at him. But still, Bai Qi desperately countered.

Finally, everyone was knocked down but Bai Qi, who was bleeding horribly, stumbled. In his hazy consciousness, the sound of the piano gradually weakened. It was like falling into light from heaven.

In that moment, the boss of the gang took this chance to kick Bai Qi and, because of that hit, Bai Qi fell from the rooftop.

Bai Qi reached out with both hands, trying to grab something as he felt himself plummeting.

Suddenly, a melody reverberated, filled with a strong energy, pressure, and tension.

That sound crossed space and time and resonated with Bai Qi's memories.

The sight of his father wearing a military uniform and his gentle mother... memories of his childhood poured into him all at once.

"Lieutenant General, regrettably, there was no evidence of Evol in his genes."

"There's no meaning for such a useless thing to exist."

Since his mother passed away, he was always alone. It was like he was the only one in this world.

If he died, those guys would probably be happy.

Bai Qi heard rhythmical and strong piano notes and, as he was engulfed in the fierce winds, he felt his body becoming lighter.

"NO!"

Not like this.

His life didn't need his father, friends, or a meaning.

Bai Qi clenched his hands into fists with these strong emotions and the power, sleeping deep in his body, awakened.

He felt a pulse in the wind and, between the vast expanse of heaven and earth, life spread through on the wind.

The melody he heard eventually turned into something overflowing with emotions. In the depths of autumn, the gingko leaves blown up by the wind danced and glimmered in the air.

Bai Qi traveled through the air like a bird and small birds, with their wings spread, gathered happily around him.

Entranced with the piano notes, he hummed freely to the song.

The birds flapped their wings, startled by Bai Qi's sudden humming.

Bai Qi gently picked up a small bird and continued to hum.

It was joy for his reborn self and a declaration of the coming light and end of darkness.

He heard the singing of a girl along with the piano notes.

That clear voice had a powerful force which captured people's hearts and wouldn't let go.

The girl's singing and piano drew Bai Qi's mind and body over strongly.

The wind lifted Bai Qi's body and carried him to a window. Looking inside, he saw a girl playing the piano.

Maybe it was the reflection of the gingko leaves fluttering outside the window, but the girl's eyes sparkled like stars.

She continued to accompany herself on the piano and it was as if she was resonating with the wind.

It was an ordinary girl, but he felt a strong spirit from her.

The girl's hands danced on top of the white and black keys and her piano song shook Bai Qi's heart.

He quietly watched her, feeling that the seed sown in his heart was sprouting.

The girl had no idea that her piano saved a boy who was about to fall into a dark abyss.

And there was no way for the girl to know that the boy swore on his life to protect her.

BTW, the song MC was playing at this time was Liszt's Liebestraum No. 3 (Love Dream). During the second anniversary, Papergames confirmed some of the piano songs in the game.

I don't think it needs to be said that Bai Qi was literally going to die at this moment. Not only physically but I'm sure he was mentally at his limits too. Despite the tough act he puts on about being used to loneliness and not caring for what other people think about him, humans are social creatures. He felt like he was all alone in the world and was about to give up on life. I feel like we can draw some analogies to depression here.

There's also an intentional foil in [Chapter 12] between Bai Qi, Jay, and Josie. There's a reference to Josie in [Chapter 7] and MC was sympathizing about how Evol made Josie get treated like a monster, and that sort of darkness can easily change someone. Bai Qi's reply is:

[Main Story 7-18]: "Then I'm very lucky. There was someone who caught me right before I hit the bottom."

But going back to the scene with Jay in [Main Story 12-8], when he's being interrogated, he accuses Bai Qi of not knowing anything about the despair he went through. But, as we all know, Bai Qi lost his father (when he didn't show Evol genes), lost his mother (in the fire), and lost his younger brother (their father took him away and their relationship soured after the death of their mother).

Yet, unlike Jay, he didn't lash out at society and turn to the darkness because he met MC.

[Campus Date] is such a critical date about Bai Qi's character and his convictions and how, while a part of it was formed to go against his father's version of justice, it really solidified because of MC. He learned to love life and cherish its preciousness because of MC.

Because of just how important this ground zero is for Bai Qi, we see references made to this scene again and again and again:

[Main Story 15-7]: "And you saved me. Don't lower your head, look at me. Don't feel insecure and don't feel like you're useless. You caught me again right before I hit the bottom."

[Spring Festival Date]: "The day I met her, there were gingko leaves drifting and falling slowly through the air, and it was the most beautiful time in late autumn. It was also the darkest time of my life. But she was the one who caught me tightly when I fell."

[CN Rumors and Secrets: Ashes]: Bai Qi is bleeding out and touches the picture of MC that he always keeps on him in his breast pocket and sees that a corner of it is stained red. Then he thinks back to the time he heard her play the piano, lightly, gently, slowly, and how it seeped into his body and heart. [Context: this is before he reunites with MC].

THE. LETTER.

We learn about it in [Chapter 7] and how Bai Qi gave it to Minor to pass to the MC, but she saw the bloodstains on it and, because of the bad rumors around Bai Qi and how she misunderstood the sight of him threatening a student to cough up (stolen) money, she thought the letter was a threat LOL.

I'm laughing out loud, but rest assured I'm actually crying inside.

However, the truth is that it was a goodbye letter:

[Main Story 7-20]: "What I regret the most? Probably not handing that letter to that girl personally. [Was it a love letter?] No, it was a goodbye letter. [Why did you write a goodbye letter?] Why should I tell you? [Bro, look, everyone's listening. Give me some face] Because that girl said that she hated it the most when people leave without saying goodbye. [One last question. Could you tell us what was in that letter?] It doesn't matter. Let's just leave that letter in the past. We'll have lots of time in the future together."

For those curious, the contents of the letter is from [CN Rumors and Secrets: Angled Light] but I think this is part of the Dream Heart Lake event series and so won't be released: "Saturday, 9:00AM, I'll be waiting for you in the school library."

By the way, to make things more tragic, you also learn here that he waited for 14 hours at the library, until he was forced out because it was closing, and before he left he slid a gingko leaf into a book that had a collection of Lord Byron poems, which the MC often carried.

The reason he wanted to say goodbye to MC was because, after his Evol awakened and he was going to graduate, his father enlisted him into special training and (threatens) points out that Bai Qi now has someone he wants to protect, but MC is special and she won't have a peaceful life. Does Bai Qi really think he can protect her (as he is)?

It doesn't say what page Bai Qi placed the gingko leaf into, but in [CN Rumors and Secrets: Ashes] Bai Qi thinks he finally understands one of the poems in the book.

Lord Byron's "Don Juan" - Canto the Ninth, XVI and I bolded the part he quotes:

"To be, or not to be?" — Ere I decide, I should be glad to know that which is being? 'Tis true — we speculate both far and wide, And deem, because we see, we are all-seeing; For my part, I'll enlist on neither side Until I see both sides for once agreeing; For me, I sometimes think that Life is Death, Rather than Life a mere affair of breath.

Meanwhile, in [CN Tide of Light SSR Chasing Dreams Date]:

"That year, I did want to give you that letter personally. But I gave myself a way out and left it up to luck. I knew that, at the time, I was still lacking a lot and so I decided that I had to meet you again with my best self."

On a last note, in [CN Yesterday's Breeze SSR Former Days Date] MC asks Bai Qi if he has ever imagined them not reuniting with each other again:

"I've thought about it before. I've thought about how, if I wasn't there, would there be people who would bully that girl and would there be anyone who'd get back at them for her? I've also thought about whether there'd be someone who'd give her a love letter and if she would end up loving someone else... So, if I was to ever meet her again, I had to make sure to catch her. And I'd never let go again."

BTW, in this date, MC has some sort of dream projection where she goes back to their high school days (but the past her also exists LOL so there's two of them) and she has some fun interactions with a grumpy high school Bai Qi. But the heartbreaking part is that MC sees the letter and runs to find him and you get to hear Bai Qi say, self-deriding, that he knew "she" wouldn't come...

HIS (GUIDING MOONLIGHT) NORTH STAR

So, after seeing just how important MC is to Bai Qi, is it any wonder that every atom of his body is attuned to her? SOBS HE JUST LOVES HER SO MUCH. Xu Mo may have the red string of fate, but Bai Qi has "all roads lead to you". She's his lodestone and his compass always points to her.

[CN Lost Forest SSR]: "I will always walk towards you first. You're forever my flag, the one I've kept to throughout every moment of my life."

[CN Go See Him: Military Uniform]: "This uniform and these medals are my convictions, and you are the direction I move forward in."

[CN Southern Wind SSR Road Trip Date]: "The start and end of this journey is you."

I feel like I'm missing more, because I swear the majority of Bai Qi's cards all seem to have some sort of direction quote and relating it back to MC.

Anyway, I won't bother bringing the examples I put in the other post (because they're over there) but this is also why it melts me whenever there's description about Bai Qi's eyes following MC or whenever he's just focusing his attention on her (with heart eyes) in the ASMRs.

Additionally, in my previous character study for Bai Qi, I talked about how MC and Bai Qi both encourage each other to grow with unconditional love and acceptance, but I want to add some quotes here about just how much he takes becoming a better person for MC to heart:

[Spring Festival Date]: "She's the one who told me I could live more strongly, and she's also the one who told me I could live more gently."

[CN Clear After the Rain SSR]: "You're the only one who can find the real me."

[CN Drunk Easterly Wind SSR Three Worlds Date]: "Regardless of whatever lives we have, I will always take my best self and give it to you. This isn't an undertaking and it's not a joke. All of these are just words from my heart."

[Slightly Drunken Date]: "No matter which side of me, they're all yours."

What can I say except that's love, baby! You don't need to complete each other, you just need to encourage each other to be the best version of yourselves!

FOREVER BY YOUR SIDE

Now that we've gotten through the bulk of what I want to say, I'm just going to dump all the romantic stuff Bai Qi has declared to MC.

It really bothers him that he wasn't there for most of her early life, but he maintains his optimism (wouldn't be surprised if he learned it from her) and looks forward to their future together.

[Prank Date]: "I wasn't there for your university, middle school, or elementary school years, and even the time before then. In my memories, there's only the sight of you in high school. At that time, your hair was longer than it is now. But it doesn't matter. From here on, we have time to create new memories."

[Love of my Life SSR Goodnight Wish Call]: "I just... thought about you in many small instances. For example... a movie, a song, a lyric, when I'm crossing the road, and... the moment I close my eyes [...] As long as you're willing, I want to take all the time that's considered yours and turn it to "ours" [...] I want to know how you were before I met you. I want to walk the roads you've walked before, see the sights you've seen before, and... brand my mark on all those moments [...] Yes. I really care about that. I want to make up for all the time I wasn't there in your life. But, right now, what I care about more is our future [...] In our future... I want to hold your hand and walk to the end of our ever after. That's the best future I can imagine."

[Mediterranean Date]: "The missed holidays, the dates I couldn't make, and the many times I had to disappear without being able to tell you... I've never had the time to make up for all of these things. So, no matter what we do, no matter where we go, as long as the person beside me is you, I won't have a single objection."

[Love of my Life SSR Wish Call]: "My wish? From the second I met you again, the wish I made to the stars every night has already been realized."

[2018 Birthday Message]: "Sometimes, whenever I pass an interesting place, I'll think about when I can bring you here to walk around. Whenever I eat something good, I'll buy one more on habit. And, whenever I run into danger on missions, I just need to think about you and my will to fight is rekindled. Because you're here, happy occasions went from being for one person to being for two people. And all the things that would worry someone have disappeared into nothing. Is it strange to hear me say this? But I want to tell you, just how important you are in my life. I don't believe in fate, but I believe in miracles. Meeting you is the most precious miracle in my life."

[Spring Festival Date]: "In the rest of my life, I want to use it all to accompany you, care for you, and love you. This is all genuine. They're all words I want to say to you... words said only to you."

[Main Story 14-22]: "I'll be with you, until the very last moment."

MOM, I LOVE THIS 2D MAN SO MUCH!! Haha, sorry, I just had to get that out of my system. Thank you for reading up to this point and I hope this lets people appreciate Bai Qi more. Gotta spread more propaganda for him and convince people that he's not just the boring vanilla character.

He's someone who was teetering on the edge of darkness and could have become someone who lashed out at society like Jay, but instead he chose to be a protector of the people and to uphold justice (even if his methods are unconventional and morally grey).

He struggles with insecurity but it never gets in the way of what he wants to do and instead motivates him to continue to better himself for MC. There's nothing wrong with setting someone or something as your goal to get through life. Baby steps until you learn how to run on your own, or not when you find someone who will walk the road of life with you.

He's a man who loved the person who literally saved his life (and is probably his raison d'être) for 7 years, never forgot her during that time, and has finally reunited with her.

Okay, ending this post for real now with the Lunar New Year card. BTW the ENG version is totally fine and I have no qualms with its translation, but I just like the nuance more in the CN and JP version.

CN goes 你是我的此生眷恋 which is literally like "you're my affection/attachment in this life". If I wasn't separating it from the English version, I'd translate it as "love of my life" too to simplify it and make it flow. But I find it interesting that 眷恋 (juan lian; sentimental attachment) is used instead of 挚爱 (zhi ai; true love) and the way you'd actually write "love of my life" is 此生挚爱 (ci sheng zhi ai) rather than the card's 此生眷恋 (ci sheng juan lian).

JP goes おまえは俺の一生の憧れ which is literally like "you're the aspiration/longing of my life". Again, I find it so interesting that neither JP or CN are using the character for love 愛 (ai) and JP's 憧れ (akogare) bundles in feelings of yearning, longing, desire, and aspiration. IMO the JP version drives in the fact that MC is someone Bai Qi's trying to catch up to. He's loved her for so long, tries so hard to better himself, and all of it is to become a person he believes can stand by her side.

#mr love queen's choice #mlqc meta #love and producer #mlqc gavin #mlqc bai qi #love and produc(ing) meta #mlqc

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