#WHOEVER SENT THIS THIS WAS SO ICONIC THANK YOU THIS IS MY MASTERPIECE | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

boxwinebaddie · 10 months

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Style beach day PLEASE

ohhhhh my god. my friend, you do not understand. i was born for this. years of watching famous/infamous ‘beach day’ filler episodes in animes has prepared me thoroughly for this moment.

what’s funny is chapter one of pep was actually my riff on ‘what if south park was a style anime that had a dramatic, iconique beach day episode?’

but i will happily, gladily — nay — it would be my honor to give you another one :) on an actual beach and not that hellscape pond

so i am going to say they are on a junior/senior class field trip or the cfpom ( the core four plus one more ) are just taking a road trip during spring break because fuck u shitpark chodearado why does everyone else get to score bad bitches shake some ass and catch some waves at the beach? why not us, bitch!?

so the boys ( and dearest marj ) use good ole google to find a beach and they sure do — it’s beautiful! everyone is stoked!

except for kyle! surprise surprise! kyle is not stoked! kyle hates the mf beach! it’s too hot he literally is a human sunburn he fucking hates sand is disgusted by all the weird wet algae plant matter, scared of the weird little sand crabs trying to pinch his ass 25/8 ( me too besties i understand u ), thinks people are loud and ugly and is committed to having the worst time of his life bc he is the fucking fun police.

i imagine even outside of vampire au kyle he looks like marceline the vampire queen on the beach:

big ass sun hat like HUGE, huge sunglasses, swim shirt…is he wearing the star of david swim trunks from the 7th grade flashback bc he hates swimming so much he doesn’t have another pair…it’s more likely than u think shsksk sitting there under a fucking massive beach umbrella mad as hell trying to read like the picture of dorian grey scowling at every child so aggressively that one cries! that man is here for one reason and one reason only…

can we all guess? shsjks

stanley randall william marsh, of course ;)

( everyone say gaaaaaaaaaay )

who….there is always a risk factor involved when taking that man to any large body of water because there is a small likelihood that…he will not come home and decide to stay there forever dhskks

kyle had assessed the risk factor of having to visit this god awful place to visit his super best fantasy mermaid ( best friend ) boyfriend for the rest of his life….and decided it was worth it to ogle him in his natural habitat…which kyle baby i totally understand…

because stan….of course, looks fucking beautiful.

he always does that son of a bitch. but especially in the sun, at the beach, badly bleached blonde but gloriously tan ofc. how can a man look that beautiful in terrance and phillip swim trunks is truly a mystery to kyle…girls are taking snapchats of him like ‘jessica look at this fine ass man on the beach he is short but ill slouch’, he’s like handing seashells to little girls, picking up beach trash on his way to kyle who is…not reading his book again…fkn idiot like ur iq is 900000 STAND UP! everyone’s favorite emo beach angel

and ofc when he gets to kyle stan is like kyle pile~ <3 u know in the way that makes him want to throw up from stress, will u put sunscreen on my back marj is shy, last time kenny moaned dhsjs and i don’t trust cartman not to draw a dick plus…..i want u to! :)

( everyone say gaaaaaaaay again dhsjsk )

and kyle says “absolutely” in the most shrill least chill fucking voice in the world because he totally *didn’t* have a dream like this one time shskkds Pain!

so kp lovingly ( awkwardly bc he thinks he is going to die ) administers the sunscreen onto extremely stunning sbf back and before stan leaves he folds all his little cheap emo boy jewlery into kyles clammy sunscreen covered hand and gives him a hug which….kyle is getting too much action this beach episode and we are five minutes in pray for him

then stan is like “ok i’m off but if i don’t make it back i love you” like dead serious and kyle is like please pinch me am i dead ( also dead serious ) and stan laughs and is like no dumbass but the ocean is an unpredictable mistress i am at her mercy and u never know so ily kp enjoy ur freaking lame nerd book and please try to have a little fun for me <3

then u know they secret style handshake stan grabs his surfboard and shoots kyle the ~shaka~ and is off

kyle…naturally…reads three entire pages of the picture of dorian gray before proceeding to spend an uninterrupted 30 minutes watch stan do beautiful sexy merman things in the water

meanwhile elsewhere kenny has obviously acquired the tlc and attention of every fine ass milf in the area also a white claw lmaoooo marj is tall as hell also wearing a hello kitty bathing suit and is decimating at beach volleyball! like her skill is unmatched she looks really sweet but she is wiping the floor w all these chads and brads!

also she almost kills cartman with the volleyball bc she spikes it but also…regrettably with all her jealous rage watching every hot mom hit on kenny and it hits cartman right in the head and knocks him out cold! HKKSLHD SLAY OLAY!

and u know…maybe we should be concerned that cartman has a concussion but he also said a lot of mean things abt how women’s sports weren’t real or valid and he would not be concerned abt anyone else…so what does kenny do tell marj she’s a hero and then bury cartman in a sand body suit and give him massive sand stripper titties! cowabunga dude!

kyle high fives kenny for his sick….but sick handiwork and they laugh for a little and then kyle is like huh wait kenny have u seen stan ( bc of course during the five second interval that he wasn’t like staring shamelessly behind his sunglasses stan goes fucking MISSING ) and kenny is like ging baby relax have a sip of white claw ur tripping stan is literally half fish he’s fine

which does not work because at that exact moment kyle watches in full frontal horror as stans surfboard hits the shoreline WITH NO STAN NEAR OR ON IT and like looks down at all stans little adhd boy jewlery and sparks dog tag necklace and is suddenly sooooo sick and is like nononono something is fucking wrong im gonna check on him

this is the climax of the beach episode ofc ( WHICH REALLY WAS COMEDY GOLD AND FAN SERVICE FILLER UNTIL THIS POINT SMH ) bc kyle whips off his big ass hat and sunglasses and goes ruuuuuuuning into that unpredictable ocean this is his antihero moment

( i swear kyle is like lawful neutral bc he likes order and stan marsh and no one else and stan is like neutral good n not lawful bc one time he accidentally stole a pen from the bank shskskd )

so he is swimming around and sputtering ( if u can remember after kyle almost drowned in starks pond in 7th grade stan spent a very painful and stressful summer teaching kyle how to swim so he can swim now but he still has really bad ptsd ) like having a panic attack like i swear to god i will beat posideons ass i will fight this whole goddamn ocean where the fuck is my stanley marsh

who ofc! pheeeeew! pops up breathing hard and smiles radiantly at kyle who is like relieved and also about to strangle him shehshs Yay!

naturally stan says something stupid and very cute like “i did not know there were clown fish at this beach” or “excuse me sir but land is that way” HSJSJ and kyle is saying sooooo many swear words like people are covering their children’s ears he’s like HAHAHAVERYFUNNYBITCHITHOUGHTUFUCKKNGDIEDWHATTTHEFUCKISWRONGWITHU

stan is like omg omg calm down u are going to cause a tsunami! i am fine! or ok it was a little dicey there for a second because i went to dive for something and my foot got caught in this bed of kelp and stuff and i couldn’t get free for a second but thank god im a junior lifeguard right!

LIKE SHSKSKS STAN!!!!!! U ALMOST DIED CHILL NOT TO THE TIME TO FLEX ABT BEING A JUNIOR LIFEGUARD

kyle i feel shares my rage and stress and is like stan what the FUCK was so important on THE OCEAN FLOOR that u DOVE FOR IT and almost DIED!?!?!? also his hair looks so funny rn like it is Flat he is so mad that beach is a jacuzzi they are boiling bc of how pissed kyle is Im Crying

and stan is like oh!!!! well when i was surfing i saw this little piece of sea glass that was the exact shade of green ur eyes are so i wanted to grab it and give it to u <3 tada! do u like it

EVERYONE SAY GAAAAY AGAIN FUCKS SAKE

kyle receives the most beautiful piece of sea glass in the world from the most beautiful sea creature in the world and immediately is not angry at all and is more in love than he has ever been in his life which means he totally says “i fucking hate u”

stan speaks fluent kyle and says "i love u too" then it dawns on him that “oh my god did you swim all the way out here because u were worried abt me??? AW!!” and kyle is like "PFPTPFTPTPFPTT NOOONOOO SHITUP OHMYGODJK ACTUALLY U CAN DROWN UR SO anNoYIN—“

does not finish because stan kisses him on the cheek and is like “i was gonnnnna say that was really cute of u dummy"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!!

( stan calling kyle dumb is my favorite thing bc it’s not true and he’s the only person who can get away with it )

kyle is fully speechless and pale and also red and stan mistakes this for “oh my god ur shaking!!! u must be so cold and stressed oh my god did u check ur blood sugar??? ok im giving u an emergency piggy back ride to the ice cream shop buy whatever u want ky ur my hero”

beach episode starts to come to a close, kenny marj stan and kyle get ice cream laugh ( kyle totally gets the sea glass wire wrapped and wears it every day he is not even a jewlery king but its that serious for him ) they all vibe the sun sets over passed out sand sculpture cartman w the sand boobs….life is beautiful

the end <3 shsksks like and subscribe!

#WHOEVER SENT THIS THIS WAS SO ICONIC THANK YOU THIS IS MY MASTERPIECE #style #stan marsh #kyle broflovski #i am the ceo of the south park bl anime put me in that writers room matt and trey pls just one chance

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