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killscreencinema · 2 years

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Tuff E Nuff (SNES)

So it's finally come to this.

If you've been following my blog for awhile, you've probably seen reviews I've made in a series I call "Games My Dad Rented without Consulting Us" (or something to that effect). For the uninitiated, these are SNES games my dad rented for my brother and I as kids when he'd stop by the video store on the way home from work. He had a talent for renting the most mediocre games ever, and oddly enough, most of the time they were Jaleco games. Let me stress, they weren't bad games - just bland and definitely not what we had preferred he rented ("Brawl Brothers?? Did they not have Super Castlevania???" is how the conversation usually went).

However, the worst of the lot, and the game my brother and I still make inside jokes about to this day, is Tuff E Nuff, otherwise known to us back then as Hey Punk! Are You Tuff E Nuff? In Japan, the title is Dead Dance, which isn't great, but is LEAGUES better than Tuff E Nuff. I still remember looking at this horrible box art of this random Wolverine ripoff dude with Vulcan ears, drawn by Jim Lee, and reading what I thought was the full title out loud to myself in absolute bewilderment. If the question mark wasn't already part of the title, I would have added it on organically out of confusion and disappointment.

Let's not ignore the tagline either: "Master the moves to master me!" Yikes, if that tag, coupled with that picture, isn't just dripping with homoeroticism, I don't know what is.

Once I recovered from the shock of how lame the cover art was, I began playing the game. You're immediately greeted with a long intro into the ridiculous story, wherein a warlord in post-apocalyptic Earth uses battle armor to take over. He annually holds a fighting tournament, inviting the best fighters from around the world, to challenge his dominance but has yet to find a worthy foe... until now.

If I'm being honest, I guess that story is no better or worse than most of the plots in fighting games, which usually boil down to "bad guy holds tournament for... reasons". There is plenty to hate about this game without getting hung up on the story, such as it is.

First and foremost are the incredibly stiff and unresponsive controls. Hey punk, are you "tuff e nuff" to get through a series of matches with not only bad controls, but some of the worst choppy frame rate this side of the first Street Fighter game??? However, that's almost a compliment, as fighting in this game feels less like Street Fighter than Rock'em Sock'em Robots.

If that isn't enough to turn you off this game, the incredible generic, uninspired characters will. You have only FOUR character to pick from in the roster:

Syoh, a Japanese fighter who is the stand-in for Ryu.

Zazi, an American fighter who is the stand-in for Ken.

Kotono, the token lady fighter who is the stand-in for Chun-Li (with a little bit of Mai Shiranui from Fatal Fury).

Vortz, the token wrestler character who is the stand-in for Zangief.

So there you have it - the Dollar Store cast of Tuff E Nuff! Keep an eye out for their Saturday morning cartoon show, premiering never!

The CPU enemy characters you fight are so bland and generic they aren't even worth mentioning. I don't even think there's a single standout character in the bunch.

Needless to say, this game sucks. It sucked back then and it sucks now. Whenever I revisit games from the past I recalled hating, I always hold out hope that maybe they aren't as bad as I remember. While they usually end up being just as bad as I thought, they are rarely WORSE, such is the case with Tuff E Nuff. Like... wow, how much did my dad HATE us to rent this over the weekend? Maybe I should bring this up next time I got to therapy...

#snes #super nintendo #retro games #jaleco #tuff e nuff #fighting games #bad games #jim lee

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feathertailedcentipede · 3 years

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drawing random characters as plague doctors part 14: adrian shephard!!

I like the Him. also I sometimes associate plague doctors with fungi so that's neat

#plague doctor #half life #hl #adrian shephard #opposing force #as an (unforseen-) consequence of getting back into hl I have started drawing less plague doctors and more v0rtigaunts #so the queue is running low #sometimes I just censor words so I don't block the tag I have nothing against vortz I love them a lot

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legendsoftaijitsu-blog · 6 years

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The Wishmaster

This story was very loosely inspired by a nightmare I once had, where I was forced to escape in a spaceship because I was being hunted by monsters.

It was anything but an ordinary day. Not only was it his birthday, but it was also the day he found out that he had a very special gift, one that no one had even heard of for almost a thousand years.

He woke up at down to his family singing him happy birthday, each member carrying a present wrapped in brightly coloured paper.

"Happy Birthday Tommy," said his father, enveloping him in a bear hug, and handing him a present. The rest of Tommy's family soon followed suit.

While Tommy loved his family dearly, he found the whole process tiresome. He was an adventurous boy, and did not like being kept in one place for very long. He wanted to explore the world outside of the village he was starting to feel trapped in.

"I wish I could play outside," said Tommy longingly.

There was a brilliant flash of light. When the light faded, Tommy found himself outside his house, dressed in the clothes he usually wore to go exploring. Puzzled, he went back indoors to have breakfast.

But when he entered the kitchen, his mother was just clearing away the last of the breakfast things.

"Mum, did I miss breakfast?" asked Tommy, looking very confused.

"No, you had a very hearty breakfast, then ran off to go exploring. Why, do you want a second one?" chuckled his mother.

"I can't remember having the first one!" said Tommy. His mother was an excellent cook, so he felt very distressed at having missed a meal. He wondered whether his wish could have had anything to do with it.

"You don't have any chores to do today, why don't you go play outside?" suggested his mother.

"Good idea, I'm going to explore the outskirts of the cave nearby," said Tommy.

"Take the Flame Blade with you," requested his mother. When Tommy turned around, she levitated the crimson-coloured blade to him. He clipped the sheath to his belt, took his bag and left.

Unnoticed by Tommy, a quintet of goblins in dark grey armour slipped into his house, using stealth technology to hide themselves. Another pair followed him, quietly tracking his every move.

Tommy could sense that something wasn't right, but when he turned around. He shrugged, making the rookie mistake of thinking that his instincts were wrong, and continued walking to the cave he wanted to explore. In Axorta, one could never ignore one's instincts, they were the best defence against foes that couldn't be seen without magic.

As he entered the cave, and started exploring it, he started to feel a growing sense of uneasiness. He whipped his hand around and cast fiery magic behind him, revealing the goblins.

"What's a weak little human boy like you doing in a place like this?" asked one of the goblins snidely.

"I'm not weak, I can easily defeat the five of you," retorted Tommy. He tried to channel his Fire magic into the Flame Blade to activate its full power, but he couldn't manage it. He had trained for many hours with his father to use both Fire magic and his father's signature weapon, the Flame Blade, but while he was quite proficient in the former, the latter simply didn't respond to him as it did to his father.

"Oh, how terrifying, you can't even use your own weapon," said the goblin sarcastically as they came closer and closer.

"Unfortunately for you, not quite, I can still use it like a normal sword. I can use Fire magic, I'm just not strong enough in it to be able to wield the Flame Blade's true strength. I mean, I wish I was, but..." started Tommy, but before he could finish, there was a flash of light, then the Flame Blade ignited into powerful white flames.

"You were right, my lord, the Firemaster's child can get anything he wishes for," said another goblin hiding nearby, into a communicator.

"Never mind, it's working now," said Tommy gleefully, before slicing up the goblins with a series of quick slashes with the powerful sword. "I told you I was good with the sword."

The goblins, naturally, didn't make a sound. The hidden goblin quickly scurried off, its mission complete, while Tommy continued his exploration.

A few hours later, he returned home, exhausted from all the walking he had done. But when he opened the door, he found that something was amiss. The whole building was empty.

He looked all over, but there was no one there. Then, he noticed a note on the kitchen table.

"To the wishmaster,

I know what you can do, what ability you've unlocked within yourself, and I want it. If you ever want to see your family again, meet me at the entrance to Ash Mountain."

Shocked, Tommy raced outside, but was stopped by an old man just outside his house.

"Don't be so hasty little one, to run into danger. You bear a tremendous gift, the ability to have anything you wish for, and in the wrong hands that could be devastating to everyone," said the old man.

"Who are you? Did you leave this note? Where are my parents? What do you know about my powers?" asked Tommy angrily.

"So many questions, and so little time to answer them. My name isn't important, just know that I am a friend. No, I didn't leave that note, but I know who did. He's just as much my enemy as yours. I don't know where your parents are, but I will help you find them," replied the old man calmly. "As for your powers, let's walk and talk."

"Thank you for offering to help, but I need to do this on my own," said Tommy, calming down somewhat.

"I'm not going to come with you the whole way anyway, but there are a few things you need to know. Firstly, the man who took your parents is called Vortz. He's the leader of the Infinity Gang, the evil people who took over Castle Axorta for their own nefarious purposes. Secondly, your powers are extremely unique. No one has been recorded as having the ability that you have for a thousand years. With it, Vortz could take over Axorta with ease, and eventually, the whole world. Think carefully about what you're doing, your choice impacts everyone," explained the old man as they walked to Ash Mountain.

"So, no pressure then," joked Tommy, though his face betrayed the fear he felt inside.

Suddenly, a ninja appeared behind them. He knocked Tommy out, put him in a sack, and vanished again.

"Well, that's annoying, but not surprising," muttered the old man to himself, before walking away, along a slightly different path to the one he'd been taking with Tommy. There was no reason to visit Ash Mountain anymore.

Many hours later, Tommy regained consciousness. He found himself chained to a wall, beside the rest of his family. In front of him was a strange man, in spiky black armour.

"Welcome back to the world of the living, Tommy. I am Vortz, leader of the Infinity Gang, and I have a proposition for you. I'll let you and your family go, if you wish me your powers," said the man, smiling at Tommy.

"I've heard stories about you, they say you're an evil man. How do I know that I can trust you?" asked Tommy.

"You can’t, but what other choice do you have?" chuckled Vortz, looking very amused.

"You could let my family go first," suggested Tommy.

"I'm afraid I can't do that. If I do, they might be tempted to attack me, and I'd much prefer to get your powers without getting hurt. You really have no other option besides giving me your powers," said Vortz gloatingly.

"Fine. I guess I have no other choice then. I w-" he started to say, then stopped himself. He now understood why no one had been recorded as having his gift in a thousand years. They all realised that the ability was too easy to misuse, and had wished it away before anyone found out. He decided then that he wouldn't surrender his powers to this mysterious man. There was another way to solve his problems. There had to be. All he needed to do was trust himself, and the answer would come.

"Well? What do you say to my offer? Are your powers really worth more than the lives of your family?" asked the mysterious man mockingly.

"Haha, you underestimated my intelligence. I wish my family and I were free of your clutches," said Tommy, immediately teleporting his family and himself to the entrance of the building they had been trapped in. They saw in front of them, the ruins of a castle that had once been the pinnacle of Axortan architecture, Castle Axorta, the former home of the Axortan Royal Family.

"This was once a mighty castle, now it lies in ruins," said the old man.

"Can I wish it back to the way it was?" asked Tommy curiously.

"You could, but it would take too much energy. Don't think it hasn't escaped my notice that you've been panting since you wished us out of the dungeons," he replied.

"I have, annoyingly enough," panted Tommy ruefully.

"You have powerful friends, my son," said Tommy's father, before turning to the old man. "It's a relief to see you, my King. The other masters and I thought you were dead."

"Death is not permanent for an Axortan Royal," said the old man.

"Wait, you're King Kedron?" Tommy asked the old man.

"Guilty as charged. As your father said, Vortz managed to kill me, but the members of my family have the curious habit of not staying dead. Having said that, I'd prefer if he didn't find out that I'm alive again, so let's get out of here," said the King.

Just as they started to wonder how they were going to escape before Vortz found them, a small ship appeared just above them, and landed nearby. They all tensed for battle, expecting more Infinity Gang troops, but it was only an old-looking robot. The three adults' faces lit up as they recognised one of the other masters, Technomaster Grikos.

"Grikos, you came just in the nick of time, thank you," said Tommy's father gratefully, walking forward to greet the robot.

"The All-seeing Eye of a Master permits me to sense danger. You should know that Kelpion, you have the ability as well. Now get in, Vortz isn't far behind," said the robot, ushering them into the ship.

"Tommy isn't safe in Axorta, is he? We'll have to hide him in one of the other kingdoms until we've gotten rid of Vortz," said the King, knowing how much his friend would hate to part ways with his son. “Southern Orfieste would be best.”

"So far away? He's too young for that," retorted Kelpion angrily.

"My friend, I understand how you feel, but we don't have a choice. Tommy isn't safe in Axorta, the further away from Vortz he is, the better," replied King Kedron calmly.

"How can you understand how I feel? Your children are adults, they can take care of themselves. Tommy is just a child," shouted Kelpion.

"They don't even know I'm alive! This war has taken its toll on all our families, not just yours," shouted back King Kedron, losing his temper.

"The King is right, I need to get far away from here. Ideally, so should you and the rest of our family," said Tommy to his father, as he walked into the room.

"No, your father is needed in Ash Mountain," commented the King.

“Do you have contact with the Orfiestan king, your majesty?" asked Tommy, trying to move things along

"I do, I'll let him know you're coming. The Orfiestans will make sure you’re safe, their magic is quite defensive. But if you want extra peace of mind, we'll take you to stay with my Grandmother. Grandma Maelstra will take very good care of you," said the King thoughtfully. He walked towards the small room behind the cockpit, for a bit of privacy while he called his Orfiestan counterpart.

"Your grandmother is still alive?!?" asked Kelpion incredulously, when the king returned.

"She is," said the king simply, before quietly whispering directions to Grikos. The old robot nodded, then went back to the pilot seat and put in the coordinates for their destination.

While they were flying to Orfieste, Vortz had noticed their ship, and was gathering up a small army to attack them. He knew his strongest allies wouldn't make it in time, but his goblins could deal with the problem easily. Unfortunately for him, he had reckoned without the combined powers of the two Masters on board the ship. They crossed their blades, and magic flowed up from the intersection into the ship. A loud clanging noise rang out from above the ship, before a bright stream of fire shot out from the air above, streaking towards the goblins. Grikos moved the cannon around, Kelpion aimed the flames, incinerating the horde of goblins in minutes.

While goblins did continue to attack the ship, they were mere nuisances compared to the initial horde, and fell easily to the Flame Blade. When they landed, several guards immediately surrounded the ships, their weapons aimed at the entrance to the ship, but they relaxed when they recognised the Axortan king.

“This young boy is in danger, I want to hide him with Lady Maelstra. She’s more than capable of dealing with anything that comes here,” said King Kedron. The guards nodded, and opened the castle doors.

“We’ll wait for you in the ship,” said Firemaster Kelpion, tightly embracing his son. “Keep out of trouble Tommy, and stay safe. We’ll miss you.”

“And I’ll miss you, dear Father,” said Tommy, tears welling up in his eyes.

“Come now Tommy, let’s not keep Grandma waiting,” said King Kedron, gently prying Tommy away from his father. One of the guards escorted them to Lady Maelstra’s rooms, and knocked on the door.

“Grandma, I need a favour. This young boy is a Wishmaster, he’s being hunted by the goblins. Could you please take care of him while we deal with the coup in Axorta?” asked King Kedron, as he entered the room.

“Of course. It’ll be nice to have someone young to talk to, I’ve been getting quite taciturn in my old age,” said Lady Maelstra. “And if you’re wondering how I’ll deal with the increased attacks, I’m hardly stretched thin now, it shouldn’t be an issue.”

“Thank you, Grandma, I really appreciate it,” said Kedron gratefully. He turned to leave, when the door opened again, and to his surprise, his wife walked in, just as beautiful as he remembered her the last time they met, a few years ago.

“Come now Tommy, the King and Queen must have a lot of catching up to do,” said Lady Maelstra, ushering Tommy out of the living room to give the couple some privacy.

The king and queen continued to look at each other in silence for a few more moments, before the king walked over to properly greet his queen, giving her a tight hug. Things were still quite awkward between them, so they only spoke for a few minutes, quickly bringing each other up to speed with how they had managed to end up in the same place, at the same time. Then King Kedron left, shouting a farewell to his grandmother as he did so.

As he watched the king leave, Tommy felt a sense of intense sadness. It seemed that he was a danger to everyone around him, and he feared his new powers heralded the start of even darker times for Axorta. It wasn’t banishment, but he knew that it would take a major disaster to allow him to go home.

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refueluni · 7 years

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The Vortz! Evil Kid! Tongue Tied! High Twitch! Awesome night of indie rock Saturday night! Come along and get rowdy. #dunedinnz #seedunedin http://ift.tt/2oLMbHe

#IFTTT #FacebookPages #Re:FuelDunedin

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keepfronting · 5 years

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#vortz #tuffenuff #supernintendo https://www.instagram.com/p/BpymthPFUg_1ckiVtSjlFXXrYgogpxYW7Rgvio0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1s0jum6k2pqi2

#vortz #tuffenuff #supernintendo

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vortainz · 11 months

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zim 👍

zim is like,,, really freaking stupid

NOT‼️‼️

well kinda, in pure ability he’s likely one of the smartest irkens seen as he was one of the few irken scientists, he also makes most of his tools and upgrades his pak (which it seems like most irkens can’t do, requiring most of their equipment to be premade)

of course that’s already pretty obvious in the show, but my main point is that he knows what people actually think of him, the tallest literally said “i hate you” to his face and he just doesn’t actively acknowledge it

it seems like he knows (atleast somewhere deep down) it’s just that he despises to actually acknowledge it

there’s been multiple instances where he’s actually confronted with the fact no one cares but everytime that happens, he sees that people pity him and immediately snaps out of his depression (mostly shown in the movie and the quarterly)

(he’s literally going to CRY in this panel (irkens eyes do a water bubble thingy when crying))

he’d rather keep his ego intact than actually accepting some form of help

ANYWAYS back on zims bigbrain-ness

i think something similar is happening with how he acts on earth, kinda pretending to be naive/stupid for the sake of keeping his emotions together

he has destroyed/took over multiple planets SOME DURING THE DURATION OF THE SHOW, yet suddenly can’t think of a single way to successfully take over earth

he’s a extremely capable soldier, yet ‘struggles’ to kill a child

EVEN THE CHARACTERS NOTICE HES BEEN GOING EASY ON EARTH

it seems like he wants to stay on earth, even in the timeline where he successfully takes over the planet, he stays

earth and more importantly fighting dib gives a purpose in life

he NEEDS to have dib constantly thwarting his plans or else he just gives up entirely

it doesn’t seem like he actually cares about taking over earth that much, all he wants is approval from his tallest

he wants them pay attention to him, to care about him and invading in his eyes seems like the only thing left that he can’t screw up

he gets to see that in the timeline where he takes over earth, he actually gets that approval yet realizes how stupid it all is

it’s not enough for him to stop but it’s likely enough for him semi-give up on actually invading earth

with this, there ARE two people who will pay attention to him, that will care about him

Dib and Gir, their entire existence revolves around giving him something, gir with helping him and dib with thwarting him

(there’s also mini moose I GUESS)

part of the reason he’s defective is because he can love, and want to be loved

irkens are supposed to only care about the tallest, meanwhile zim literally says he loves mini moose and cares about all his robots (even giving the purely battle ones names “once you name it, you get attached to it”). he also cares about dib to a certain extent, choosing to save him when he doesn’t have to (this is shown in the comics more than the show)

uh1!1!2!!2!1 conclusion1!2!!3!2!1

zim intentionally has really stupid plans cus he doesn’t wanna leave earth

#invader zim #Vortz #once again sorry for my bad writing #does this even make sense 🥲

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vortainz · 1 year

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i’ll write smth about the nicktoons MLB eventually but i just wanna share these images cus i love them

#Vortz

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vortainz · 11 months

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why are IZ ship names so weird? just making this cus apparently some people don’t know 👍

IZ ship name thingys aren’t necessarily always romance, just the relation the characters have to eachother

they’re formatted “_a_e/f/r” with _ being the first letters of the characters name, for more than two people it’s normally _a_a_e/f/r OR __a_e/f/r (for example praz_ or zadak_), also characters with two words as names have the first letter of both words put in (PM and LN being the most common)

e = enemies

f = friendship

r = romance

simple enough

but why is it like that?

on one of the older fansites (rwam i believe but i may be wrong) OCs were banned from fics so stuff like “zib” or “dim” would be taken down cus they sounded to much like OCs (which is kinda funny now cus zib is a canon character)

thus the _a_e/f/r came into play to still indicate the ship without being taken down, even when the site died the shipping convention stayed

#invader zim #cited from fanlore n reddit 👍#the explanation on the formatting is mostly there just cus my past self didn’t know what it meant #Vortz

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vortainz · 1 month

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page one has finished being written and coded, now onto the gallery and queue

in the mean time, ask me about anything specific in the IZ lore, i have to much info :,3

#invader zim #vortz

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vortainz · 1 year

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my queue is rapidly shrinking <3 concept art is probably going to be changed to 1 per post instead of ‘misc 10’ just so i don’t disappear while finding more stuff

#invader zim #concept art #there’s like.. 4 days left (it started at 2-3 months)#Vortz

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vortainz · 11 months

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two versions of my extremely cool IZ timeline

SO in the first it’s basically just looking at the holidays and whenever the characters say it’s been “months” since something

everything made sense EXCEPT the tak episode (36), it takes place before the christmas special but is in february (which can’t be in the same year due to zim not having even arrived till august + it takes place after thē halloween episode)

thus the only way for it to fit is if there was a another year between the two (BUTTTT this also has holes cus dib is 11 in the main series and 12 in the movie/comics yet adding another year would mess with that (granted could say that he was 10 in the first ep)) which would kinda make sense cus in the comics zim acts like he’s done halloween multiple times (or atleast knows about it more than in ep25)

#invader zim #Vortz #sorry for my sucky writing #did any of this even make sense

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vortainz · 8 months

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How it ends

the ending of IZ is ,, a really odd topic

technically it has 4 endings, well, 4.5

1 : invader dib

no, it in no way was a planned ending ever, but i feel it deserves mentioning considering how prevalent it was

it originally started on TAIZS when the producer was interviewed, he went on to confirm there was a intention to steer the show towards IRK and talking about its “”existence””

(also istg there was a ask where he vaguely explains the plot as a joke but i can’t find it for the life of me)

there were multiple versions of it but there’s two that circulated the most

A: “this special would have allegedly followed Tenn’s kidnapping by the Meekrob, and an all-out war happening between the Meekrob and the Irkens, which would have ended with Zim (aided by Gaz) being victorious over Dib, The Resistys, and the Meekrob, and finally conquering Earth.” (fan wiki)

B: the focus of the show would slowly shift towards irk, dib would get more crazed trying to stop the empire, zim and gaz would team up (or date, depends on who you asked) and stop both dib and the empire. everyone else dies and zagf/r saves the rest of earth

2 : space smoothies

In a nicktoons magazine, IZ made its “””final””” return. in which it had its first comic iteration where zim successfully took over the earth, but just kinda gives up when he sees the merch of himself. dib complains and zim offers to just have a jolly ol’ time in space, them both leaving earth in disarray while just being buds

3 : dookie loop

The “”canon”” ending, basically zim traps dib and the rest of the universe in a timeloop due to not being able to finish a puzzle. blah blah blah i’ll rant about his reasoning for that in another post ANYWAYS,, he eventually finishes it and resigns to fixing the timeline, but the “fix timeline button” doesn’t work and the universe implodes, everyone dies.

4 : nothing is real

i haven’t fully pieced together the lore but this is what ive gathered

rk is god. kinda.

in their orginal universe, zim and dib are real people, dib has gone missing and zim conquered earth. the conditions are really bad till he finally gets the idea to just indoctrinate them all

rk uses the comics as a “coping mechanism” of sorts, avoiding what’s really going on by just reading the comics, it’s really the only think they can do anyways

here’s where my idea sort of splits

A : they continue reading the comics and recapping them all, imagining this fantastical world where life is just zim and dib fighting in middle school, each winning and losing occasionally. rk starts making their own comics and aus, getting more and more absorbed by the characters of zim and dib that anything other than them is incredibly distressing

they get so sucked into their own mind that at this point they feel as though they ARE the creator of these characters and comics. when the story in their mind gets too off track, when it’s getting to the point where it might end, they insert themselves into it and fix whatever issue there was

B : bk (brain kid) is god essentially, rk was originally from the universe as described before but was scooped up by bk at some point and put into the recap section of the comic universe, something similar to in issue 40. in the comic universe, IZ isn’t real, it’s just a comic. yet rk is still able to manipulate the story and interact with the characters, when the comic is finally coming to and end they step in and just start everything over again

oh yeah in both A n B what i mean by ‘the comic ending’ is that earth is burning and no one wins, both zim and dib are about to die

⬆️ sorry if none of this made sense 😭 i’m struggling to word it correctly + still theorizing

4.5 : timetravel

Probably the most simple one, zim conquers earth, dib dies by being stupid, zim gets killed by his younger self, the end. the only reason it’s “4.5” is due to it being specific to the timeline of that issue, as none of the other entries acknowledge it

#invader zim #Vortz #they’re just like me fr (starts sobbing)#apologies for my writing

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