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ask-the-usa-manor · 9 months

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Did any of you dress up in drag during World War Two?

“Wh—?” Florida chuckled, carefree, “Oh, no, soldier shows weren’t really our thing—”

He immediately dragged the Anon closer and lowered his voice.

“Who do you work for?” He interrogated quietly, “I thought we lost that photo album years ago—”

“We?” California, who was walking by, paused and looked up from her phone, “Who’s we? What are you—?”

“…I’ve said too much.”

With that, an expressionless Florida turned and walked away.

California stared after him for awhile, then looked to the others for an explanation.

“…What the hell did I miss?”

“Bah,” Louisiana waved his hand, “Ignore him. He’s just pissed that I wore it better.”

“What?”

#For those who need some context:#In WW2 soldier shows (made to boost the troops morale) there weren’t enough women to perform the female roles #But guess what gender the US military *did* have enough of #(Hint: it wasn’t women)#USAManor! Florida #USAManor! Louisiana #USAManor! California #Screw Quebec

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ask-the-usa-manor · 4 months

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To the mother of the Dakotas, (Sorry I forgot your name, please forgive me)

were you aware that America was married at the time you two had your children? Im assuming you had been but what made you decide to continue the relationship?

“Well—”

“WAIT. WAIT. WAIT!!!” California screeched, racing out of the room, “GIVE ME A MINUTE! DON’T. SAY. ANYTHING!!!”

“…I—”

“SHUT YOUR MOUTH PEMBINA. SHUT IT! I’LL BE RIGHT THERE!”

“…”

Pembina silently stared at the ceiling for a couple of minutes, before sighing. She was met with a cacophony of pleading.

“STOP! PEMBINA! STOP! I’M ALMOST THERE! 32 STEPS AWAY! 31! 30! 19! 18! 17-16-15-14-13–”

Cali raced back in with a tea, a phone that’s definitely “not” recording, background music playing from a JBL speaker, and her usual nosiness when it comes to the drama of others.

She calmly sat down and gave Pembina a nod;

“You may proceed.”

“…Hate to be a let down to you, Cali, but I didn’t know. Didn’t continue the relationship either, so….”

“…So…?”

“That’s it.”

“…That’s it?”

“Mhm.”

“…Good on you, but like, anticlimactic—”

#USAManor! Pembina #USAManor! California #Screw Quebec

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ask-the-usa-manor · 1 year

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so recently I’ve been getting adds on my Spotify telling me to go visit road island, but that’s not the point of this, the point is that they start by saying

“Hey Nashville! Ya’ll should come visit road island!”

In the least southern accent I ever done heard. Like I cringe probably every single time I hear and have to go watch some Dolly Parton to get myself up again

“You. I’m assuming it’s you again,” Tennessee decided, pointing at California with a furrowed brow of disapproval as he held a near-sobbing Southern Anon close, “You need to stop.”

#USAManor! Tennessee #USAManor! California #We’ve all been there with Cali #Screw Quebec

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ask-the-usa-manor · 1 year

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Every state's liquor of choice?

“Hold on, I think we have a list for this…” California muttered, searching through a pile of papers, “Ah! Here we go!”

She showed off the page titled;

Each States’ Favorite Alcoholic Drink

✨ In Reverse Alphabetical Order ✨

Wyoming: Whiskey

Wisconsin: Brandy Old-Fashioned

West Virginia: Locally-Made Moonshine

Washington: Washington Apple Cocktail

Virginia: She’d never admit it, but moonshine.

Vermont: Old Vermont Cocktail

Utah: Root Beer

Texas: Margarita

Tennessee: Tennessee Whiskey

South Dakota: Red Beer

South Carolina: South Carolinian Sweet Tea and Vodka

Rhode Island: Rhode Island Red

Pennsylvania: Boilo

Oregon: Craft Beer

Oklahoma: Lunchbox Cocktail

Ohio: Buckeye Martini

North Dakota: Craft Beer

North Carolina: Cherry Bounce

New York: Long Island Iced Tea

New Mexico: Chimayo Cocktail

New Jersey: Applejack

New Hampshire: Wine

Nevada: Nevada Cocktail

Nebraska: Red Beer

Montana: Whisky Ditch

Missouri: Caribou Lou

Mississippi: Mississippi Punch

Minnesota: “Bootleg—whisky over ice with a splash of water”

Michigan: Mead

Massachusetts: Cape Codder

Maryland: Black-Eyed Susan

Maine: Coffee Brandy

Louisiana: Sazarac

Kentucky: Mint Julep

Kansas: Moose Bowl

Iowa: Iowa Buck

Indiana: Hoosier Heritage

Illinois: Doesn’t have an official name as far as I know, but the Chicago Bloody Mary is a Bloody Mary mix with vodka infused with rosemary and olive.

Idaho: Craft Beer

Hawaii: Mai Tai

Georgia: Georgia Peach

Florida: Mojito

Delaware: Delaware IPA

Connecticut: Wine

Colorado: Craft Beer

California: Wine

Arkansas: Arkansas Razorback

Arizona: Prickly Pear Margarita

Alaska: Doesn’t normally drink, but when he does his favorite’s a drink so classily named… Duck Farts! Rock on, Alaska.

Alabama: Yellow Hammer

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ask-the-usa-manor · 1 year

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Hey uh so i need relationship help

How get over breakup with someone who you dated for 3 years?

“Put your energy into other things that make you happy, it makes getting over it easier,” New Mexico advised, “Friends, family, hobbies, religion… For me, personally, it’s proving the existence of aliens, but whatever floats your boat! Oh, and ice cream!”

“Avoid dreary breakup songs at first,” California suggested, “I know some of them are bops, but it’ll make it better, trust me.”

#USAManor! New Mexico #Screw Quebec #USAManor! California

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ask-the-usa-manor · 1 year

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*attack hugs California, Hawaii (state), Iowa, North Carolina, Ohio, South Carolina, and Alaska*

Lets see, thats 7 out of… a lot. :)

“Alaska, let go of Vont—”

“No.”

“I’m sure she has things to do—”

“I solemnly refuse.”

“You can’t just keep everyone who hugs you hostage for fifteen minutes—!”

“Watch me.”

“Vermont would want his kid—”

“My kid now. At least for the next fifteen minutes.”

“Three.”

“Fifteen.”

“Five.”

“Fifteen.”

“Seven.”

“Fiftee—”

#USAManor! Alaska #USAManor! California #Screw Quebec

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