#The haircut really does feel nice ahh <3 I just feel more me in short hair :) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nochuuuenthusiast · 5 years

Text

tag!

hii~ so i got tagged by @snugglemejeon thank you so much ! i think this is really cute hehe (to the people i tagged: i’m sorry if i tagged you and we haven’t talked that much... i don’t know that many people on tumblr... and also, you don’t have to do this challenge, so feel free to ignore it !)

rules are: (1) tag the person who tagged you (2) answer the questions (3) tag 10 people (sorry i don’t know that many people here on tumblr so i’m only gonna tag one or two :( but ps! if you wanna be friends with me, don’t hold back and just talk to me hehe)

(1) how tall are you?

i haven’t checked in a bit but i’m about 5′2″ (ish) so that’s around 158cm (*sighs* yeah i know... i’m pretty short)

(2) what color and style is your hair?

i actually got a haircut yesterday before my blackpink concert hehe so now my hair is layered and it goes a little past my shoulders. i didn’t start growing out my hair until late last year since i used to always cut it short (like, a little above my shoulders) so yeah... i used to dye my hair a longgg longggg time ago but now it’s its original color which is dark brown

(3) what color are your eyes?

a solid brown (not totally light, but not too dark) (my mom has really pretty light brown eyes but they didn’t get passed down to me so ahhaha *cries*)

(4) do you wear glasses?

yes, but no (?) i have glasses but i don’t wear them 24/7 since my eyesight isn’t that bad... i only wear them in class when i’m too far away from the board. i have kinda circular, brown glasses (lmao, i know no one asked but...)

(5) do you wear braces?

i used to wear braces a couple of years ago so now i just wear my retainers once a week (you’re supposed to wear them every night but whatever,,, i’m pretty lazy and irresponsible and my teeth haven’t shifted sooo once a week will do ahah)

(6) what’s your fashion sense?

i care about how i dress but i don’t worry about how i look all the time soooo... i’ll sum up my style in a few words: 26 year old single korean girl walking to an aesthetic cafe on a sunday afternoon. yeah. that’s basically my style. lol i hope you guys understand what i mean... if not, i’m terribly sorry

(7) full name?

only a few people on tumblr know my name... but i don’t want to reveal it here since i know everyone can see this, and tumblr is the only social media platform where my identity is hidden sooo...

but if you want to get to know me and learn my name then you can definitely message me or send something to me :) i’m nice, i swear

(8) when were you born?

july 2001; i’m 17 ;)

(9) where are you from and where do you live now?

i was born and currently live in los angeles, california however, i am 100% korean. both of my parents were born and raised in south korea. and yes, i am fluent in korean.

(10) what school do you go to?

i am a highschooler. and that’s all i’m gonna say. skool sucks :P

(11) what kind of student are you?

i would like to say that i’m more of a hard worker than a naturally smart person, but i am currently getting straight As and for those of you who live in the us, i’m taking 5 APs (which totally sucks :’( but i’m handling them kinda well... i think). and i don’t really like being complimented because one of my biggest fears is of me becoming arrogant so let’s move on,,, pls.

(12) do you like school?

hell no. but i have to deal with it since everyone does so :/// school isn’t that bad if you daydream and think about bts all day hehe. but in all seriousness, i think school is okay if you have the right friends to hang out with and talk to

(13) favorite subject?

history!!! i know this is really weird since not a lot of people like history, but i love ittt!!! i think it’s really fun since it’s kinda like one big story of our world (i’m sorry, i’m such a dork)... i took ap art history last year and i fell in love with it!

(14) favorite tv shows?

i used to watch kdramas a longgg time ago, but i kinda stopped but idk why... but my favorite tv shows are friends, the office, stranger things, jane the virgin, etc, etc... i can literally name so many tv shows that i’ve watched but then i’d go rambling on and on and on and i don’t want to bore anyone...

(15) favorite movie?

forrest gump !!! (and also, did anyone see the two bts movies? i watched both of them at cgv and i literally exploded when i saw the members... okay, moving on (sorry... i get off topic really easily))

(16) favorite books?

i read a book called “pachinko” by min jin lee over the summer and it was so! freaking! good!!! i highly recommend it everyone~ it’s a historical fiction novel about 3-4 generations of this korean family who lived in korea and then moved to japan. it takes place a little before the korean war and it talks about the discrimination that koreans faced in japan at the time. i recently went to the library to check it out since i wanted to read it again but they didn’t have an english copy of the book so i’m reading it in korean at the moment.

(17) favorite pastime?

rewatching and rewatching and rewatching bangtan. oh, and streaming their new album ;) oh, and stressing over the new test questions on the fan cafe that the staff upload every week (i need to level up but the test is so hard... i cry every time)

and writing for this blog! i originally made this blog to de-stress and write some scenarios and reactions and i didn’t know that people would actually like them and respond to them,,, so hey, thank you :) you make me happy every day

(18) do you have any regrets?

yes. too many to count. but i’m not gonna sit here and list them all lol

(19) dream job?

i don’t really know... but something in corporate law (?)

(20) would you ever like to be married?

yessss! have you seen my entire blog??? it’s an entire fluff kingdom!!! i mean, i know that marriage is not just one big fluff and i know that it’s tough, but i would still like to get married one day

i have my own little fantasies about how married life would be, but that’s a little secret so i’ll save it for next time ;)

(21) would you like to have kids?

as much as i love kids, i’m not too sure if i would want any... i mean, obviously my answer will change in the future, but i kinda want either no kids or just one kid... the responsibility of being a parent kinda freaks me out...

(22) how many?

oops, i kinda answered this already in (21) but i’ll answer again anyway: 0-1

(23) do you like shopping?

no, i absolutely LOVE shopping. i think i’m addicted lmao.

psssss: i know no one asked, but my favorite retail shop is madewell

(24) what countries have you visited?

ahhh finally... the question i’ve been waiting for... so if you get to know me, i really really really reallyyyyy love traveling and i’m so grateful for all the opportunities i’ve been given to travel at such a young age.

so, let me just list all the places i’ve been to (an i know not all of these are countries, or out of the us, but just hear me out,,, okay?) : france, italy, south korea, mexico, us (hawaii, nevada, utah, etc (lol, i can’t remember all of them))

my favorite location out of all of these places is definitely italy <3 (italy has my heart)... i stayed at rome and i also visited pompeii and positano (which were absolutely stunning and beautiful). i went to rome last spring (around april/may) and i personally, really love sightseeing and history and since rome is full of those two things i reallyyy enjoyed it there. oh, and don’t even get me started with the food <3333

i also really loved france... i stayed at paris and my favorite thing about paris was definitely the louvre museum (once again, i love art history) as well as this place called montmarte (ahh! it’s so pretty)

and last but not least, (as much as i love love loveee south korea) i really enjoyed mexico! i love calming, relaxing vacation spots so i got to go to cancun (twice!) and snorkel and swim and see little fishies in the clear turquoise ocean... yeah, i miss it there... :(

(25) scariest nightmare you have ever had

i would totally tell you guys, but it was too complicated so i’m not even gonna bother.

(26) any enemies?

i am a lover, not a fighter (hehe)

(27) any significant other?

does jungkook count? lmaooo it’s a joke... he doesn’t even know i exist lol.

my answer is no.

(28) do you get along with you family?

yes, yes i do.

(29) do you believe in miracles?

i believe things happen for a reason... so does that count?

last but not least... (30) how are you?

i’m actually doing pretty well :))) i was in this really big emotional slump that kinda felt like a roller coaster ride last year, but i’m over it now so... yeah... i doing pretty well :)

okay, so now that i’m done, i have to tag people, and like i said, i don’t talk to that many people on tumblr since i’m a loser lol so here are the people i’ll tag (sorry, i’m not gonna tag 10 people) :

@pjmochii @jsuga @kpopsffct @ anyone who wants to do it...

but yea, i seriously don’t know that many people since i haven’t been on tumblr for a long time, so i’m sorry to the people who i tagged (if i haven’t talked to you a lot, i’m sorry... i’ll try to be a better person and try to talk to you more ...)

6 notes · View notes

leointhemoon-blog · 5 years

Text

my past with dieting

wow, i think this post might end up being long.

to begin with, i was a fat kid from the very start. i don’t think i was obese but i was, i guess, overweight. now that i look back at it, it might have been the baby fat that added to the illusion. or maybe not, since i was fatter than everyone else in my grade.

before i even started school, i was just known to my family as that toddler that loved to eat. as with every story about eating disorders (disclaimer: i never really had an eating disorder but i guess... i almost did if that’s possible.), a likely factor would be the bullies. so in my story, my first bullies would’ve been my relatives.

it’s funny because the word and notion of “family” are supposed to resemble people who support you and care about you. i’m not saying my family doesn’t, but i guess they just have the worst ways of showing it... maybe it’s part of being asian?

anyway, i would remember when my parents dropped me off at my uncle’s place. he’s the second oldest brother of my mom. the uncle would every so often pick at me and say “oh who’s the chubby baby? it’s you” or some cringey baby talk that people do to toddlers-- except it’s usually “who’s a good girl” not “who’s the chubby kid”. lol. there was my cousin, his daughter, who is like at least a decade older than me who didn’t hide her dislike towards me and constantly ask “why do you eat so much?” i often didn’t answer because tbh, as a really young child, i wasn’t much of a person that reacted.

they weren’t wrong ofc. i actually did eat a hella lot. damn, i was a fat kid, deadasssss. even my mom joined on in the pinching of my belly and teasing. i think my first time being self-conscious about it was when i kept sucking in my belly as much as possible when my mom tried to force me into some uncomfortable ass jeans.

when i was a student at my third elementary school (my family moved multiple times), that’s when the bullying started. there’s a ton to say on that matter, maybe i’ll make a separate post, so i’ll just talk about the moments that really matter here. in general, the girls would often refer to me as the fat kid and sometimes would even throw in a comment or two. damn, why are kids so mean sometimes? even now, as a near young adult, i still see kids bullying each other and i can’t help but sigh in disappointment how it’s innate nature of humans to bully others. it’s kind of ridiculous. if you’re going to dislike someone, don’t show it enough to make them feel utterly terrible about themselves. if it gives you power to do so, you’re rotten trash. literally, you’re the real ugly one here.

i remember once when i was sitting a couple of rows behind the rest of the girls in my class in the auditorium of my elementary school, i was watching them talk. and they talked loud so i heard everything. they were just saying stuff like “i do this to my hair to make it look prettier” and “omg your hair is so long it’s so pretty”. i guess they caught me staring so one just smiled and said “(my name) can never be pretty enough with that short hair” to which another said “she’s kind of fat anyway”. ok, first of all-- i loved my damn ass dora the explorer hair cut ok? i was excited to go to the barbershop as a child to request the dora haircut specialty, bitch, i rocked it. i was sorta hurt by both the short hair and fat comments but like again, i didnt say anything i just looked away.

after that, the next time my dad brought me to the hairdresser, i was rebellious as heck. i didnt want short hair. i wanted to keep it long. but you know, there’s only so much 6 year old me can do, so i got my hair cut anyway.

fast forward to fifth grade. after years of constant teasing about my shape and weight, i think i had my awakening after i finished some good ass sandwich at barnes and nobles. i told my mom i was going to use the bathroom and so i did. after washing my hands, i looked into the mirror. ahh, the mirror that makes all the self-conscious people shudder. but i think i had never felt extremely self-conscious and distraught until then.

nobody was in the bathroom at that time, so i was brave enough to continue staring. i took in the sight of my flabby arms (which honestly wasn’t that flabby but it wasn’t thin) and most of all, my round belly. i was horrified as i turned to the side and gaped at how my stomach protruded out of my abdomen. it was like i have never noticed before. then as if a dam has been broken. all those comments and pinching at my body flooded my mind, screaming at me that yes, you are fat. you just realized? again, remind you, i literally wasn’t obese. i was overweight. two totally different things. if i want to make myself feel better, i guess i was borderline overweight only but idk, i was still fat.

i went home that night looking up on the internet “how to be cute” and “how to be pretty” like the naive kid i was and i gave up reading on tips on how to stand or how to dress. i decided i was going to diet.

when i refused to eat more when my mother offered another helping at dinner, i told her i was going to diet. immediately, she yelled angrily and was probably shocked, like who gave my daughter that idea what-- i was and still am a stubborn person so i persisted... i’m not going to go too deep into this because it was often just her trying to feed me and me trying to eat less and less.

i remember when we were at this shopping mall we frequently visited and i was in the dressing room trying to fit on new bras. when my mom helped me buckle up my bra after i finished trying on things, she said, “(my name), you got skinnier. i don’t even need to clasp your bra at the outermost row.” there were three sections for adjustment. i had managed to go from the outermost one to the innermost one. her voice held disappointment, but my heart had felt so light. i was elated.

this continued on into sixth and seventh grade. that’s right, it continued on deep into middle school. except it gotten worse. not only was i cutting down on portions of meals at home, i even did so at school. i skipped lunch, opting to avoid the lunch lines. i managed to skip breakfast when one day i got the idea of lying to my mom. “dont give me breakfast at home. i can just eat the school breakfast” to which she believed and sent me off to school without realizing i really wasn’t going to eat anything. i spent classes with awkward stomach growling. at that time, i didn’t know people could hear your stomach make noises when it’s hungry so i was fine with it lol. i slimmed down by a whole lot.

just to mention, if you’re going to lose weight, make exercise a thing. don’t strictly diet like me. i should’ve probably exercised but nah, i just depended on eating less or not eating at all. like any other rant, i’ll mention this: the rough start of my depression started at the beginning of eighth grade.

i was sick of “friendships”. sick of being used. sick of being second or third or anything else not first. sick of being manipulated. sick of being easily thrown away. most of all, i was just so sick of myself. i felt like i could never be able to have a friend. a friend i could depend on. i cut off all ties, if they barely even existed. i went into complete isolation. eighth grade was the grade i spoke not a single word to anyone. unless ofc i had to answer some question in class or do some group discussion. but even then, i honestly went so quiet. more quiet than i ever was before.

when i did speak a word outside in the hallway once, my classmate thought he was funny and said “wow, (my name) can talk?” and laughed like it was just that damn funny. idk bro, you got nothing better to laugh about? it’s nice that i matter so much to you, you had to make a comment, let alone say my name because clearly my attention wasn’t even on you in the first place.

anyway, hell yeah, i was hella emo. and when i’m emotionally depressed af, my appetite is ruined. starting that year, i fell into constant times of not feeling like eating. by then i was already thin enough i guess. i admit, i wasn’t skin and bones. but i wasn’t overweight anymore. my skin grew paler. it became harder for me to stand up without feeling lightheaded. i began catching colds more often than i ever had before. none of that deterred me from dieting though, despite by the start of my depression, i was already midway through not strictly dieting anymore.

depression continued that for me though. it hurt to eat sometimes. when i feel like crying, when my throat feels rough, my heart feels heavy, why add to the pain by forcing myself to swallow food? i’m not bulimic, i never was. i just avoided food. i would constantly protest “mom, i’m not dieting, i really just am not hungry.” did i ever mention that throughout my years and still up to this day, my mom would constantly throw shade at me for choosing to diet in the past? it hurts every time she does. in fact, i started writing this long ass post just because she did it again today.

i think she also started to notice my increase in depressing mood so sometimes she won’t say much if i refuse to eat. it was like my body hurt when i saw food and my mind drove me somewhere else to avoid the food placed in front of me. food repulsed me. my stomach turned at seeing it. near the end of eighth grade, i gotten into my first serious relationship with some girl 2-3 years older than me online. it lasted for about a year. honestly, it was a very rocky one. i constantly felt depressed. she was depressed too. she made me feel more depressed than i’d be if she wasn’t there, if i had to be honest.

the week following after our breakup, i was utterly broken. 14 year old me had no idea what i was supposed to do. it was halfway through my freshman year at high school. i didn’t have much friends. i only had one. even then, they weren’t there to support me. the other one...who’s now my best friend...i had lost her contact number. it wasn’t until four months later til i finally got in touch with her again so she wasn’t there to help me through my post break up either.

if me skipping meals often because of emotions was bad, this week was the worst. i legitimately didn’t eat more than 3-4 small bites of food a day. even now, i’m surprised how i managed to survive that week on so little food and how my mom didn’t even say much. she did notice and ask “why arent you feeling hungry these days? something wrong?” to which i’d brush off. i cried a lot. a hella lot. most of the times, it was heaving like i was trying to throw up my heart. i mean, i still have my crying sessions as i’m still...hella...depressed and yeah it feels like that. it be like that sometimes. and then the moments besides “most of the times” was me sniffling on the school bus because i just couldn’t stop thinking about it.

i could’ve killed myself. i nearly could’ve. midyear exams were coming. the stress from both school and my personal life was overwhelming. my body was destroyed. but somehow, i manage to overcome myself and get myself back into focusing on the exams. damn, i was hella scholar. now i’m not though lol. but then, i was focused since i was only a freshman that had just gotten into a prestigious school. the exams had managed to make me forget about what happened temporarily.

now, i still constantly look down on my body and wonder if i’m too fat. i still fat check. i squish my thighs, stare at them, hold them, then stare again. i look at my belly, i pinch it, i stare, i hold it tight wishing i can make the fat disappear. i’m not fat per se. people now call me skinny af, call me a pile of bones (i’m not, they’re exaggerating but i wish i was tbh). i hold my arms, squishing them to see if they’re too thick or not. i still look in the mirror observing the width of my body. i still try to calculate how much i’ve eaten on a daily basis. thinking about what i ate today and how much i’ve eaten.

perhaps, i’m not actively starving myself anymore, but those actions of paranoia and self-consciousness never left me...my stomach is probably ruined. will that stop me? probably not. i’ll be honest.

1 note · View note

nekoabi · 6 years

Note

ALL 65

*cracks thumbs* Let’s do this!

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? Nah - I think… This question is hurting my brain…

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?Probably like a 1.25, so like a lil but not a lot.

3. The person you would never want to meet?The person who is to kill me, probs

4. What is your favorite word?Lousy is a nice word to say

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?Crab Apple Tree, because it is described as having an “irregular, rounded shape”

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?Ughhh… why am I awake so early…

7. What shirt are you wearing?My “All Hail the Glowcloud” shirt from the most recent WTNV tour

8. What do you label yourself as?Edgy

9. Bright room or dark room?Dark Room

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?Thinking about sending my mum a birthday message, and talking with @illisienthar

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?Actually, my current age, 21 - I’m actually kinda enjoying life a little more

12. Who told you they loved you last?@illisienthar, I think

13. Your worst enemy?This one guy who I cannot stand the voice of and just his general demeanour gets on my last freaking nerve… also he was a racist piece of shit one time and he makes me uncomfortable…

14. What is your current desktop picture?This gorgeous piece of artwork by ryky

15. Do you like someone?I mean, yeah… I kinda always do…

16. The last song you listened to?But It’s Better If You Do - Panic! At The Disco

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?Um… can I do a cop-out and say the next person who is about to die so that way I’m not really fully responsible for their death as they were about to die that second anyway????

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?Nigel Farage… but then that would mean a) getting near him and b) touching his person. I’ll go with… @seventhdisaster instead ;)

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?@seventhdisaster and he would do anything i told him to!

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)My hair, 100%, no thought needed lmao

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?Short, ginger, long hair, slight chub - I’d probably freak out and be like “what why”

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?I mean, I can fit my fist in my mouth? Does that count? #mypartytrick

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?I guess I’m pretty unique in that I’m seemingly afraid of almost everything… Whoops?

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.White Bread, Ketchup, Sliced Turkey Meat, Ready Salted Crisps. Boom. Sounds gross to some, fucking delicious m8s.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?Probably on stuff to make cosplay since I’m really in that mood rn.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?Australia, so I can see my good friend @alreadyentendu

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?Ummm… well, I don’t drink to the point of barely knowing anything about alcohol. If I could make a deal to get a lifetime supply of Irn Bru, then that would be my choice.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? #nodeathallowed

29. What is your favorite expletive?fuck - its so versatile

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?Laptop. Easy question.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?Oh boy, probably my horrendous experience singing at the local Waitrose back in year 11 where I fucking forgot all the words, forgot the entire song, had classmates all around me - both in the group that were singing and working at the store, and also my cousin around to hear it all… Ughhh, still can’t listen to What’s This? without dying inside…

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!Probs Norway, it’s really pretty and I really like it there (plz take me in @seventhdisaster @t2norway)

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?Am I heartless for wanting to pick my cat over my grandma? I would go with grandma tho, would make my dad very happy

34. What was your last dream about?Uhhh… the last one I can remember was a friend and myself being chased by police, me hiding in a house that i apparently lived in, being caught in there by my “mother” and being kicked out, sneaking back into the house, getting caught and being hidden by a “brother” and then being caught AGAIN by “mother”. Then the police come and search the room (for some reason) and they are expecting to find something incriminating about myself and find a drawer that is splattered with red paint or something and they think it’s blood and i try to prove my innocence and stuff, ends with me waking up in tears… I forgot some details, but you get the gist

35. Are you a good….showman?LMAOOOOO NOPE, at least I don’t think so… I can be alright once I get used to it, but most of the time I’m p. bad (excluding when i’m being a showman to hide how i really feel inside)

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?Not really “admitted”, but I did have to go in for a blood test once and that was horrendous

37. Have you ever built a snowman?Yeah, once… it wasn’t the prettiest, but it was fun!

38. What is the color of your socks?WHO NEEDS SOCKS?! but usually they’re multicoloured/patterned

39. What type of music do you like?I guess Alternative/Emo/Goth is the best label for it, anything that’s kinda heavy is good for me

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?Sunsets

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?I don’t like milkshakes… or milk in general… I know, I’m a freak

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)What’s a sport?

43. Do you have any scars?I have a scar near the tip of my index finger where I cut myself with safety scissors during Sports Day once.

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?Working with live Sound for performances or Stage Management, or propping

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?Probably be thinner without having to work for it

46. Are you reliable?I’d like to think I am, I do what I say I am going to most of the time - and usually a lil early, if I can

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?Am I still with The Internet Support Group?

48. Do you hold grudges?I can do, but it’s all relative and I do try to give people second chances - but I am likely to not forget what they did…

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?A Fox Cat!

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?Possibly discussions about death that I have with a fair amount of people

51. Are you a good liar?Probably… I’ve not been caught yet

52. How long could you go without talking?I’ve been a full day or so without talking before, and I could probably do longer - I’m gonna put myself at like 3 days, maybe

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?My fringe with the middle parting… Ughhhh

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?Once or twice in Cooking class.

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?Haaaaaaaaa accents are not my thing at all!

56. What do you like on your toast?Nutella

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?A heart

58. What would be you dream car?One that works!!

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.I sing in the shower when I am alone in the house. As for unusual habits, I’ve been told it’s weird that I don’t face the shower.

60. Do you believe in aliens?Well, yeah…

61. Do you often read your horoscope?When I see it, I’ll do it for a laugh

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?Ys are fun to write

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?Dragons! The crazy things that you can come up with for them, ahh! I love it!

64. What do you think about babies?Can be cute from a distance, not about to have any of my own!

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. How u doin?I’m doing alright, had a decent day overall

#neko answers

3 notes · View notes

marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer · 7 years

Text

MTVS Epic Rewatch #161

BTVS 6x11 Gone

Stray thoughts

1) “Gone” is the trademark “Sarah takes a week off and she’s only in a few scenes” episode. Some of these may be memorable, albeit not necessarily good, mostly because they’re other-characters-centric (like Triangle, Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered or The Zeppo) Others are unquestionably bad, like season 4′s Where the Wild Things Are. And yet others fall somewhere in the middle on the quality scale, like The Killer in Me or Gone. As is the case with any Buffy episode, there are some memorable scenes and lines in this episode, and it does advance the plot, especially regarding Buffy’s and Willow’s season arcs. But as a whole, the episode kind of falls flat.

2) Hm, what could the writers be possibly implying by this? Do they mean that magic... is like... I don’t know... a drug, or something? The underlying message is so difficult to read! Why won’t they spell it out for us?

DAWN: But they're just candles! BUFFY: Well, yeah, you know, to you and me they're just candles, but to... witches they're... like bongs.

3) I’m usually a hardcore Dawn defender, but she was acting really childish in the opening scene, throwing a tantrum because Buffy was getting rid of all the magic-related stuff in the house. She was 15 years old, and therefore old enough to understand the gravity of the situation. For Christ’s sake, she had almost died two nights ago because of Willow’s addiction, how could she not get it? I blame the writers for this, though. It was an OOC choice for Dawn, in my opinion. Moreover, they wrote her quite inconsistently in this episode: she’s complaining to Buffy in this first scene, but she’s talking to her normally as sisters do. It doesn’t look like she’s angry at Buffy, you know? And then the next morning she’s all silence-treatment and sullen and sassy?

4) So... the trio actually built an invisibility ray, and we’re supposed to believe they would stay in Sunnydale to become supervillains instead of making millions off their inventions?

5) #buffyswiggivesmethewiggins

6) Buffy was definitely partly responsible for the events that led to Dawn’s getting hurt. She shouldn’t bear the brunt of the blame, though. Yet she does, because that’s who she is. She talks about being too wrapped in her own “dumb life” to notice Willow was going off the rails or to pay Dawn enough attention, but the thing is, there’s nothing dumb about what she was going through. There’s nothing dumb about suffering from depression and PTSD and needing to focus on yourself. How could she take care of anyone when she couldn’t/didn’t want to take care of herself?

7) So, this is what Xander walked into...

If you think Buffy was being harassed, you’re not reading the room right, dude

Also, I need to comment on something and I hope I get my message across right. And I ask you to bear with me. At least twice so far (the “footsie under the rubble” scene, and this one) Buffy had told Spike “no” or to “stop” while her body language suggested otherwise. That’s going to be their dynamics going forward. Buffy says no, but then Spike pushes her a little bit, and she gives in. Time and again, we’ll see different variations of this dynamic. It’s definitely an unhealthy dynamic, one I wouldn’t foster in any relationship. And the right thing to do each time Buffy had said “No” - even if she eventually didn’t really mean it - would have been to back off. But Spike was no gentleman. He might make us forget it sometimes, he might forget it himself quite frequently, but he was a vampire, evil by definition and lacking a moral compass. What happens in Seeing Red is in no way justified by this or their established dynamic, of course. It can’t be justified by anything. But what I’m trying to get to is how Spike’s psyche works and what led him to believe that if he just pushed a little bit more, she would eventually give in as she had done so many times before. The difference between the scene in Seeing Red and all the previous instances before it, a difference that Spike failed to notice because he’s not wired that way and which makes ALL the difference in the world, is that both Buffy’s words and her body language were screaming “No.” There weren’t any half-assed attempts at pushing him away, there weren’t any come-hither “stops” or “nos”. She meant it that time, and that’s all that matters.

8) Spike is ticked when Buffy won’t introduce him even as a friend, but the moment Buffy tells him the lady was from Social Services, he immediately tries to put in a good word for her, and it’s kinda sweet. Although he ends up mucking it up, but at least he tried.

BUFFY: Spike... this nice woman is from Social Services? SPIKE: Oh, right! Uh... hey! Buffy's a great mom. She takes good care of her little sis. Like, when Dawn was hanging out too much in my crypt, Buffy put a right stop to it. MS. KROGER: I'm sorry, did you say- BUFFY: Crib! He said crib. You know kids today and their buggin' street slang.

And he calls her “mom”, which I love.

9) ICONIC I

MS. KROGER: Oh, so you live with another woman. BUFFY: Oh! Oh, it's not a, a gay thing, you know, I mean, well... she's gay, but, but we don't... gay.

10) ICONIC II

Although, isn’t all weed magic weed by definition?

11) Basically, the social service lady’s visit is an everything-than-can-wrong-will-go-wrong nightmare come true.

12) See 7) above...

BUFFY: Why won't you go? SPIKE: I just thought you'd want... BUFFY: Get out of here!

And not only has she kept his lighter, but she’s carrying it around on her...

13) And then Buffy goes all Felicity on her hair (damn I really want to rewatch Felicity! Felicity and Ben forever!)

14) I do love the season 1 reference!

XANDER: Buffy, how did this hap... wait a sec, have you been feeling... ignored lately? INVISIBLE BUFFY: Yeah, ignored. I wish. No, this isn't a Marcie deal.

15) Oh, after talking about this, this scene really feels like the writers were writing the on-set drama into the story! Like Anya wanting to get a haircut just like Buffy’s mirrors Emma wanting to get a haircut just like Sarah’s...

ANYA: You cut your hair? INVISIBLE BUFFY: Oh, yeah! ANYA: Really? How short? INVISIBLE BUFFY: Um, about up to here... well, if you could see my hand, it's kind of above my shoulders. ANYA: Ahh, that sounds so adorable! I was thinking about getting my hair cut before the wed...

16) Buffy basically uses her invisibility to do the silliest, pettiest things, for real. On the one hand, one would think that’s very un-Buffy-like. On the other hand, that’s what any human being would do in her shoes, at least in the moments right after gaining this superpower. Plus, she needed some mindless fun. And it’s pretty much what she did in Earshot, so it’s definitely in-character.

So, here’s a recount of what she did as Invisible Buffy...

1. Channel Lilly Kane as a fashion ghost...

2. Stealing a police cart while crying “ So long, copper!”, therefore channeling Spike, Ripper or both.

3. Fucking with the social services lady in the most annoying ways.

17) I appreciate the reversal of roles the writers did with Buffy/Willow. During the last episode, we’d seen Willow crash and burn and Buffy trying to be the mature one (emphasis on “trying”.) Now, Buffy’s out of control and Willow’s the one trying to rise above the situation by going back to basics. I’ve given Willow a lot of flack for her behavior up until now, but I really love her in this episode. She’s honestly trying, she gets shit done the old-fashioned way, and she overcomes the temptation to use magic. That’s the Willow I love.

18) And then, there’s this scene...

...let’s call it for what it is: dubious consent. Okay?

19) Oh, this statement is going to become a lie so soon...

WARREN: The Slayer got slammed with a big-ass dose of radiation when the gun overloaded. Her cells are mutating at an accelerated rate. Eventually her molecular makeup will start losing its integrity and then ... pfft. ANDREW: But, wouldn't that kill her? WARREN: Well, lemme think. Yeah! JONATHAN: Wait a minute! We're not killing anybody. Especially not Buffy! WARREN: You guys are so immature! We're villains! When are you gonna get that through your thick skulls? JONATHAN: We're not killers, we're crime lords!

20) ICONIC III

So... Xander has just told Spike Buffy’s invisible, and he’s caught Spike having invisible sex, and yet he can’t put two and two together? Plus, she was gasping and moaning and the freaking ear was moving all on its own!! How thick can you be?!

21) I mean, magic withdrawal aside, we can all relate to this moment...

22) It’s only after Buffy meets Dawn and she freaks out about her sister being invisible that Buffy understands this shouldn’t be a laughing matter...

DAWN: Buffy? Where are you? INVISIBLE BUFFY: I'm invisible. Check this out. Wooo, wooo! Unidentified flying pizza, comin' in for a landing.

DAWN: W-what are you talking- INVISIBLE BUFFY: Okay, not the most clever ad lib, but come on! Points for spontaneity. DAWN: Stop it! Just... stop. INVISIBLE BUFFY: Sorry Dawn. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to freak you out. DAWN: Well, what did you think would happen? You're freaking invisible, Buffy. INVISIBLE BUFFY: I know. Xander and Anya are working on it. Muldering out what happened. DAWN: Well, what about you? Shouldn't you be working on it? INVISIBLE BUFFY: Of course I- DAWN: Do you even care about, about who did this to you, or, or if you're gonna be stuck this way? You're making jokes and flying pizzas. INVISIBLE BUFFY: I don't think that's- DAWN: I can't talk to you like this. I can't see you! How can I talk to you if I can't see you?

23) And Willow solves the case with some good old-fashioned sleuthing and I love her for it!

Of course, she gets kidnapped in the process, but what can you do? You win some, you lose some.

24) And yet again, she figures out they’re trying to kill Buffy with some good old-fashioned science knowledge!

25) Tucker’s brother :)

BUFFY: Who are you?

ANDREW: Andrew. I summoned the flying monkeys that attacked the high school? During the school play, you know?

WARREN: It's Tucker's brother. JONATHAN: Yeah, it's Tucker's brother.

26) This might be my favorite moment in the episode.

BUFFY: Pretty neat, you finding the van. So... how did you manage to... do it exactly? I mean, to locate it? WILLOW: The hard way. The spell-free way. The oh-my-god-my-head's-gonna-fall-off, my-feet-are-killing-me way. I don't know how I got through this day.

BUFFY: Well, the important thing is that you did. It's a... good first step. WILLOW: How are you doing, post-invisibleness? BUFFY: Okay. I still have to do some damage control from my giddy-fest. Dawn was pretty freaked out. The whole taking-a-vacation-from-me thing didn't work out so well. WILLOW: Tell me about it. BUFFY: Except... when I got Xander's message... you know, that I was... fading away... I actually got scared. WILLOW: Well, yeah. Who wouldn't? BUFFY: Me. I wouldn't. Not too long ago I probably would have welcomed it. But I realized... I'm not saying that I'm doing back-flips about my life, but... I didn't... I don't... wanna die. That's something, right? WILLOW: It's something.

I love the fact that they’re there for each other and that they’re the ones pulling each other through their shit. And they’re quite honest about where they’re at - even if they still have secrets. Both of the made it through the day, and sometimes that’s the biggest accomplishment of them all.

#Buffy the Vampire Slayer #BTVS #Buffy Summers #Willow Rosenberg #Spike #Spuffy #MTVSepicrewatch #BTVSrewatch2015 #Gone #mine #recap #btvsrecap

62 notes · View notes