#THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CUTE FIC ABOUT STOLAS FEELING BLITZ PURRING IN HIS SLEEP AND PROMISING TO NOT GIVE UP ON HIM | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

blitzwhore · 20 days

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Okay, so, for the kisses list you have pinned, what about 17 for Stolitz? 👀

17. Kisses as a promise

I started writing this a few days before the trailer dropped, and finished it after watching the trailer. I can't explain how hard it was to write something so angsty after knowing the direction their relationship was headed in canon 😭

Stolitz | ~830 words | Teen and Up | Angst, pining, emotional hurt, sad Stolas, Stolas loves Blitz, Stolas lets Blitz go

On AO3

Stolas was no stranger to wanting things he could never have.

He'd gotten used to it, or so he'd thought. Through years of having his interests mocked, his thoughts dismissed, his future meticulously scripted and his fluttering heart kept carefully locked away, his only hope had been that, someday, he'd find comfort in a wife that would understand and share his situation. And, when even that hope had faded, he'd found solace in his daughter, his love for her keeping him afloat as he resigned himself to an immortal life half-lived.

After all that he'd been through, he'd thought he'd known the pain of being broken-hearted.

But this. This might just be what broke him beyond repair.

He would have held his breath, in equal parts awed and crushed by the sight before him, were it not for the fact the rhythmical rise and fall of his chest seemed to be lulling Blitz in his sleep.

Blitz, who was curled up around him, cheek buried in Stolas’ chest feathers, arm draped across Stolas’ stomach.

Blitz, whose tail was curled around Stolas’ torso and whose leg was twined snugly with Stolas’ thigh.

Blitz, who, unburdened by the weight of consciousness and the anxiety it carried, was purring, the low vibrations expanding from Stolas’ side, where their bodies were pressed together, to every corner of his being.

It was silly, and perhaps a little pitiful, but Stolas was close to tears from being—even if by pure chance—allowed to see this part of Blitz. The part of Blitz that wasn't too afraid to let himself be at ease around Stolas. The part of him that wasn't a bit too broken, a bit too scared to let go and trust.

The Blitz whose expression was completely serene. No grimace pulling at the corner of his lips—no frown settled between his eyebrows, no sneer of annoyance always bubbling close to the surface.

The Blitz whose body was soft and heavy against Stolas’. No cringing back from too-gentle touches, no turning away from a too-soft gaze.

The Blitz Stolas yearned for most.

How cruel it was that he would be granted this, would be allowed to hold Blitz at his softest, while knowing this was not something he could ever have. Not in any real capacity.

It ached knowing that he had no way of stopping this ephemeral moment from slipping through his fingers. Knowing all he could do was treasure it, soak himself in it before he inevitably lost it.

Careful not to wake Blitz up, Stolas touched his fingertips to his horn. In response, Blitz nuzzled his chest, and Stolas had to gulp past the knot suddenly constricting his throat. Another soft caress down his horn, and Blitz's purring intensified.

I love you, Stolas thought helplessly, the feeling pouring out of him in heavy waves as tears welled in his eyes. He had no idea what to do with these feelings anymore, and could only repeat himself over and over again, silently mouthing the words he couldn't bear to say out loud. I love you. I love you. I love you.

In his sleep, Blitz sighed, the tip of his tail twitching as he dreamed.

His body was so light in Stolas’ arms and, still, the weight of this moment was more than Stolas could bear.

He closed his eyes, and willed away the selfish want and the maddening hope.

He couldn't keep going like this.

He needed to let go. He had Blitz right in his arms, safe and perfectly at peace, and he needed to let go.

Tears streaming down his cheeks, Stolas craned his head forward and kissed the top of Blitz's horn.

I promise, dearest, he thought to himself, the tip of his beak quivering against the smooth surface, I won't let us continue hurting each other like this. I'll be strong enough for both of us. I'll love you enough to let you go.

He pressed his forehead to Blitz's horn and breathed through the agonising pain in his chest. Breathed in Blitz, too, feeling his closeness for a second longer. Just one more moment.

Then, before he could foolishly talk himself out of it, and though he might as well have been ripping out his very heart, Stolas disentangled himself from the embrace, limb by limb.

Aching as Blitz resisted it in his sleep, wanting to stay close.

Crying silently as he uncurled Blitz's tail from around his waist.

Breaking inside when he settled Blitz on the bed by his side and Blitz's hand moved around the bed in search of him.

Of all the hardships he'd endured throughout his life knowing there was no other choice but to face them, this was, by far, the hardest thing he would ever do.

And, still, Stolas had to do it. For both of their sakes.

Keeping the storm raging inside him carefully at bay, Stolas exited the bedroom, leaving Blitz, and with him his very heart, behind.

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