every off-hand mention from beard about committing a crime on ted’s behalf just became about 100x funnier

javi idea under the cut

has anyone ever done like undercover!Javi x cartel leader daughter! (made up, not Escobar but maybe he works with Escobar) and she’s like hella innocent/sheltered and doesn’t 100% know what her dad does and Javi uses her to get close to him and then he catches feels

has this been done, should it be done idk

The internet has destroyed me.

Why is the fUGGEN GHOSTFACE MASK SO HOT

if i had to sum up the tsukasa/rui school dynamic in one image it would be this… wtf is wrong with them. Tsukasa picked up a stray cat on the side of the road (asked rui to join wxs) and now the cat is being a menace (blowing shit up at school) & tsukasa has just resigned himself to this life.

The Devil works hard but Astarion dick-riders work harder huh

surely thinking about fake gay sex and love will distract me from wanting real gay sex and love. hey wait a minute, why am i still suffering

Woke up from a dream about trigun (couldn't tell U what tho, it is Out of my mind) to Tally getting into shit. Went to yell her name but smth in my brain happened that went around the lines of Tally -> Milly -> Meryl in terms of phonetics

So I woke up. Heard my cat getting into shit. And yelled "Meryl!!!!!" in prime mom voice

B4 remembering that's Not My Cat's Name and correcting to Tally hfkshdn

It's Crawl Out Of Your Skin Week

fighting the urge to be a whore online whenever i’m sad

I think someone must have really impressed upon the director of my office the importance of mentioning "collaboration" in every conversation, because for the last six months he has managed to use the word at least twice in every meeting regardless of whether it is needed or relevant. it's incredibly distinct. you can feel him intentionally finding a spot for it. it's like watching a fictional character communicate with their partner in front of the villain by dropping a code word into an innocuous conversation

"Hmm, not one to break are you?" Warau asked, a smirk on his face, he leaned in closer to the blonde. "I'd do more to mess with you but at the moment... I'm out of time."

He sighed softly, a smile on his face as he took a few steps backwards and freed the man from his grasp.

"I'll see you eventually, Aventurine!" He bowed. A mocking laughter errupted as a flurry of jester cards fell where he stood, now being a pile on the ground.

- 🔆

Mmm, no. 

*The blonde smirks, fixing the man with his strange-coloured eyes in an intense stare, the pupils blown wide— either by the lack of light, lust, surprise or something else entirely— Sigonian eyes are difficult to decode, after all.*

Not easily, at least, and that would highly depend on which way you would want me broken~*Aventurine’s tone lilts suggestively.*

*The gambler arches an eyebrow at that statement, wondering exactly why a Masked Fool of all people would find themselves short on time.*

My, my… someone’s in quite a hurry. What are you afraid of, hm~?

*The blonde’s eyes widen as the Fool disappears, leaving nothing but the intriguing cards. Aventurine bends down to pick one up, examining the details more closely. It’s a beautiful card, actually. He tucks it into the breast pocket of his overcoat, saving it for later.*

*The gambler falls back against the wall, leaning there to attempt calming his racing heart. A Masked Fool… sent to “break” him, and one so attractive nonetheless. The tone in the man’s voice as he had said Aventurine’s name would echo in his mind for quite a while, and Warau will most certainly not be a name he will forget anytime soon.*

I also need everyone who hasn’t played the q/uarry to know that, in canon, that the werewolves ‘shun’ water and like … they never fucking explain that

Me when i send a text that idk sounds pathetic or forceful or if im trying too hard to be friends or AHHHH

I am so…. SO tired of my cat peeing everywhere

🎲 7 : a romantic kiss. @pyratezlife / ned.

𝐈𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐄 𝐍𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐋𝐒 𝐇𝐄'𝐃 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐀𝐒 𝐀 𝐁𝐎𝐘. in secret, where no shards of his bared and vulnerable heart could be seen and exploited. unlike now, with that same heart an OPEN BOOK ; one that ned had skimmed and committed to memory with ease, like reading the lines from their very mind itself. and yet, they couldn't begin to feel concern nor the desire to shut himself away.

perhaps for the first time, he felt truly wanted. he felt safe. they weren't naive to ned's reputation for CRUELTY and bloodlust, but some tenderness lurked beneath the hands of every monster, did it not? it may just require the right set of hands to coax it out. they had to believe it. for some wild, untamable creature lurked beneath their own breast. a creature whose own hunger could only be satiated by VIOLENCE.

❛ a rose? ❜ they didn't ask where he'd gotten it, nor how much such a thing would cost here. at port, where such beautiful and frivolous things were not grown. he only took it betwixt gentle fingers, like handling a precious and FRAGILE thing. the crimson of its petals stood out against his calloused and sunkissed hands. they thought at once of the crimson silk tucked away safe in the pocket of their leather and touched a thumb to a petal : it was just as soft.

❛ it's beautiful ... i've only seen one once before, in a governor's garden. i'd never got to touch it, or ❜ head canted, lashes fluttering as he inhaled the floral scent. they felt lightheaded. heat BLOSSOMED at the apples of their cheeks, heart quickening. the sun had begun to set on the shoreline, the sky a canvas of warm hues. ❛ thank you ... ❜ he leaned in for a kiss and MELTED the moment they made contact, free hand coming to rest at ned's nape. edward pressed in flush, lips parted in offering, heedless of who might see.