Advent Calendar: Day 17 @lokitheliesmith​

Beth sets the ribbon between the pages before she closes the book and sets it on the nightstand. She had been listening to Hela’s breath until it became slow and deep, an indication that the girl had fallen well and truly asleep. She leans over and brushes the lightest of kisses against her brow then secures the covers around her shoulders. Every movement is slow. Designed to do as little disturbance as possible. After all, tomorrow is the Solstice and she has a few more things to do. There are holly and evergreen boughs in place, set at intervals with candles. Stockings hung from the hearth in place of a tree, in which she’s got gifts to put in. Those gifts are not as extravagant as they might have been while they remained in Midgard. There is of course a variety of confections both sweet and savoury to appeal to both their tastes. A particularly special book of fables and mythologies from her homeland, so little known beyond the islands, written by none other than the titular Merry Monarch, King Kalakaua. One from the Brothers Grimm and Hans Christian Andersen. Stories so woven into the fabric of human imagination it’s unlikely that Hela has read them all. Loki was so much harder to provide for; she’s showered xer in jewels, tokens made by her own hands, and everything in between. There really isn’t anything about the world left behind that might hold xer interest or fascination that she could possibly think of. So instead she got Loki a phone which is sort of impractical but then she loaded up several terabyte micro-sd cards with all the music she could imagine. A host of different genres and tempos, for every possible mood that xe could have. Airpods too, just in case xe wanted some semblance of privacy to go along with choice. The final gift is less that and more a symbol, however stupid it might seem. Three necklaces of equal size, all of which are wrapped in rose-gold refined from one of the Riley mines. Each wrapped wire bears the axis mundi, the World Tree, Yggdrasil. The one thing common to them all, whose branches reach into ends of the heavens, whose roots go into the deepest of the lower realms, and whose trunk connects every path. For Loki, it is green opal. A stone all about the heat, meant to nourish and replenish the energies of anyone who struggles with emotional heartache, who knows trauma and grief. A stone to help release fear, to strengthen all bonds between others regardless of the nature of the relationship. For Hela, tiger’s eye. Its unblinking eye is a powerful guardian talisman to ward off evil. To strengthen the will and one’s inner mana which might lay dormant or repressed. It is known to enhance one’s empathy and inner vision, able to pierce even the heaviest of mystery’s veils. For herself, turquoise is known as a spiritual counsellor, dispelling negative energy and balancing mood swings. It is sworn to soothe depression and exhaustion. There’s other traits too, though she doesn’t find them particularly necessary. Once each of the wrapped gifts find their way to where they belong for morning’s surprise, and she’s laid her glasses aside, she seeks Loki out. Not at all surprised to find xer at the window. She slips an arm around xer waist, and leans into the space nearest xer ribs. It occurs to her that this is the first Solstice that Loki has not been entrapped. And yet, here they are together. Serene in the quiet. She’s almost loath to break it, but she does. “I would know your mind, Ástvinur, were you to share it. And if not...have you anything you’d like in particular, with your birthday coming up?”

@lokitheliesmith  {{xx}} Most days Beth tries to keep a regimented schedule, in so far as she can tolerate to do so. She’s not exactly resigned her position from the hospital but she has taken an extended leave of absence, though in fairness she’s provided her own replacement. The new nurse isn’t Awakened, but the woman is immensely talented in her own right, one of the acolytes from the local circle. 

Some things are simply more important now. Like setting a good example. Of trying to foster self-esteem, setting reasonable limits and expectations, of providing as culturally rich a Midgardian education as she can, and with what corresponds to Hela’s interests. But mostly it lies in providing as much time as possible, and the unconditional love that comes with being a m... an auntie. They’ve eaten supper and washed up the dishes. After trying to teach Hela a new segment of Clair de Lune on the piano, she’s given the girl the rest of the evening to do as she pleases, whether it's reading or watching something on the television, or a myriad of other things, she’s also offered Hela a modicum of privacy, something that Beth herself had very little of, growing up. Mostly she doesn’t want to overwhelm the girl, who ~despite having an age chronologically that outstrips Beth’s current one~ is still a child. Between the immense apartment, the entirety of the sixth floor above which Beth has ideas about turning into Hela’s space, and the rooftop where she’s cultivating her garden, there’s more than enough space for the two of them. So when she hears Hela’s steps, silent as they are, Beth is a little surprised. Only a little, though. Beth slides her athame up her sleeve and waits until her blood no longer drips into the roots of her Tree before turning around, offering Hela her most welcoming smile. She sees the gift set down on the wooden planters edge. No horror rises when she beholds the skull, meticulously clean and instantly recognisable as far as species goes. One small fingertip traces the runes, the elder Futhark to a one though Beth doesn’t speak their names. Her pronunciation is still the bane of the girl and her parent alike, of that she is sure. Eihwaz; a yew tree that symbolises balance, enlightenment, death, and the World Tree. Othala, which aside from the tails might be identical to Mannaz, tells Beth about inheritance, ancestry, of experience and value. It is the middle one that without her glasses, she has a little trouble with. So she kneels before the girl, and first gives her a gentle hug, a kiss across her brow, and a deeper smile that crinkles her nose and bears the point of her teeth. “Dis is beautiful, little hoku. Wheddah raven or pigeon. And I did not know dat. Do all bird spirit act like messengers?”  The question is truly genuine. She does not know all of the legends in Hela’s culture as well as she should by now. “And dis own ~Auntie no have her glasses~ is dis one raidho, or laguz?” Beth keeps her face neutral because she can all but feel the spark of mana in the little talisman.

In All My Reverie || Accepting @lokitheliesmith​  {Part the First} The second part, as I promised.

Any favourite items of clothes?:

It feels almost petty to envy Lola's form when she appears through the door. Beth could never be so statuesque, nor so full in woman's curves. Heiðloa is achingly beautiful in whatever body she inhabits but it's almost more her innate grace, the unspeakable sensuality and glamour that makes Beth's heart ache above all else. And the dress. Deep greens with shadows woven into it. The golden accents that are always subtly somewhere. There is majesty in the threads, and yet reminds Beth of the foliage of wild roses. Protective and sharp, the thorns hidden among leaves.

It really almost hurts to swallow her coffee for how hard Beth holds her breath. "Good morning."

Hela doesn't seem to have what some would call Loki's extravagance in dress. Like Beth, she prefers her skirts to be floor length, with a leather or cloth apron beneath which she can hide her limbs. Having had her scar stared at and whispered about since the moment she got it, Beth understands more than she wishes she did.

Beth's fingers flutter to an already steeping cup of matcha with chase-devil. "Tea?"

Anything you like of theirs that makes you smile when they wear it?

While Beth is not exceptionally materialistic in any way, she does have a flare for giving gifts. Whether they are little trinkets; ribbons or sweets, or wild flowers gathered when she harvests her medicinal plants or gifts like the knife-like hair pins, new shoes, or a large enough sun hat hand-woven from native leaves to protect fair skin, everything she gives is done with love and affection. There is no one thing above the other that is prized, and any time something she's given is displayed, it makes her heart-swell.

What do they wear on holiday?

If she thinks about it at all beyond living each day, she would say that they're on a certain kind of holiday. Sure, there's other terms for it. On the run, on the lam, escaped fugitives, and maybe her favourite, 'in the wind' because she can see all three of them as birds or breeze blown seeds, as leaves drifting down. Be that as it may, one thing is for certain. Whether it's leathers or gowns, or the simple soft grey tunic of an evening, Loki seems to take more interest in xir appearance these days. Hela is more comfortable in her own garments, though Beth is certain in a few years she will be tall enough to share wardrobes. She hopes Hela likes the sneakers with the glitter-infused laces, though.

What do they wear if they’re just around the house?

Clothes.

Loose, comfortable, full length.

Both Hela and Loki tend toward covering up, and for the same reasons, though Beth has no leg to stand on ~and she cringes at that term, all things considered~ because she does the same. Loki tends to hide xer arms, chest, and legs, not due to current fashion from Asgard. Hela hides what is considered her withered side, and that breaks Beth's heart even more so. Neither of them seem to understand how beautiful they are just as they are. She wonders what they see, though she does know some of the feelings Loki experiences, having spoken them aloud.

Who’s the holiday planner and who isn’t allowed to hold the passports?

Hela is the decider of where they might want to go, and in ancient days, Loki would be at the helm, navigating somewhere between stars, dreams, and love for xir child. Beth doesn't mind it at all. Growing up as a Navy Brat, working with Médecins Sans Frontières, she knows how to travel. She can pack an entire house in a day, and can unpack it in half the time. Organization is a lifeline for her, and she keeps a mental list of where everything is.

Which type of phone do they have?:

When they walked away from Midgard, they left phones and most other devices behind.

What music do they like? Be specific if you know:

One thing that Loki did not seem to disdain was the vastness of her brother's collection of vinyl. The warble of blues and the liveliness of big band. The cultural rebellion zeitgeist of the sixties ranging from anti-war, to melodic love songs, the progressive eras. Classical from centuries gone by. One thing she doesn't think Loki realises is that she's even her xem singing a time or two, very quietly, like an afterthought. If she has to make an educated guess, she would say Loki has an affection for Queen and Fleetwood Mac {she suspects because Stevie Nicks is one of them}. But really, anything that encompasses deep and complex emotion or story through the music itself or the lyrics.

Hela is only now being exposed to the majority of those albums, and is still feeling her way through favourites, but again...educated guess is she likes whatever her papa sings the best. Like her father and Beth herself, she finds music in almost anything, but tends to favour thunderstorms and the lap of water on shores; rivers, lakes, seas.

Any favourite movie/tv shows?:

Before they'd left, Beth had a television. Technically still does, it wasn't as though she'd liquidated her apartment. She rarely bothered with it unless she had time to keep up with subtitles, pausing and rewinding to catch things she missed, and usually it was more hassle than it was worth. She preferred books and music. If she did bother to watch, she would rewatch all her favourite films, ones she knew by heart without skipping a beat, and of course, she has almost ever single episode of Shark Week. Something she shared with Hela along with popcorn or cocoa because it was educational.

Still, Hela did enjoy the Discovery channels, and sometimes told her stories of her family, the parts she could remember and Beth did everything in her power to catch and keep every single word.

Loki has never once touched the remote that she can recall, however, there'd been a weirdly high number of episodes of the Housewives franchise and the Great British Bake-Off that she's never watched in her continued viewing lists. 

Do you see yourself being with them for a long time?

The night they met, Beth decided her best revenge upon Loki was to befriend xem. Perhaps she understands more than xe can ever know; she too is the younger sibling, the bastard child, the unwanted one. Too different to belong to the family. She too has magick in her blood, along with other things that aren't spoken of because they are wrong, wrong, wrong. There is no way to share their grief, the loss of a beloved soulmate and all of one's children is a thing she cannot even begin to put together. She will never have any of her own, and will not presume to say she gets...it. Half of her soul died with her brother, and she knows, though, that some wounds, no matter how long they are ministered to, will never heal.

Over the years of their friendship, the desire to annoy Loki died. It became a true friendship, a deep one. She learned so much, and still feels like she knows so little. She learned to bear the brunt of Loki's worst moments, and found joy in xer better ones, where while not happy, Loki was still... alive. Engaged. More recently Beth has come to understand that she loves xem. More than she does Sam, not quite the same way as Jay. Without condition or expectation. Though she does have dreams, relatively small ones.

And when confronted with the idea of not losing Loki forever? How could she not jump at the chance?

Then there is little Hela.

A lost spirit, a lonely child. A wonderful person in her own right and if Beth were to say every day keeping care of the girl was not joy and tenderness and everything she might ever have wanted, she would be lying through her teeth. It isn't that she's delusional. It isn't that she thinks she can take Angrboða's place nor does she want to, exactly. But again she knows what growing up without her mother was like. Which is not to disparage either Hela's own mother, nor Loki. Never was there a parent who couldn't use an extra pair of hands or another set of eyes.

She again sees so much of herself in Hela and has such hopes for the girl whom she already loves dearly. So easily she fits into that place that lay empty inside of Beth for want of her own children, for the stolen hope of nieces and nephews of her own to dote on. She wants to spoil Hela, take her places and show her things she might find anywhere else. She wants to foster the girl's curiosity and wonder at the universe that spans just beyond her fingertips and let it bloom like a secret poem for her. Art, music, medicine, dance. She wants to teach Hela how to drive and how to knit. She wants to tuck her in at night, exhausted and satisfied, with the promise of a new day. She wants her to know she is loved, safe, wanted.

Can Beth see herself staying with them? For as long as they allow it, as she told Loki, the answer is... yes.

Do you share a home? If not why not?

The most difficult split had been when Loki was still at the Tower and she was keeping Hela at her apartment. Devoting time and resources, keeping father and daughter apart, especially in light of Loki mourning xer children had murdered her on the inside, but it was a necessary evil. One slightly mollified when the pair had been reunited and she's made Loki her offer, one he resolutely turned on its head. Now the three of them share everything, under a single roof or wherever the days and nights find them. There is certain space in that togetherness. And they make it work.

What quirk do they have that you love?:

In less than three seconds, Beth could list a hundred things for each of them; the difficulty comes when trying to narrow things down.

Her favourite thing about Hela is seeing her eyes light up when someone compliments her style, her appearance, or a particular skill. The way she smiles when she's included in a plan or activity she hasn't experienced before. Or when Beth asks her to share experiences. Or asks her to share skills or knowledges Beth is uncertain about. Hela is so lovely when she's aglow. She is such a brave and curious soul and in some ways Beth wishes she could have been more like her when she was younger.

She's almost ashamed to admit it because she's sure if Loki knew, xey might never do it again. But it's that one particular smile. It is slow to bloom and is full of hoarfrost ~sharp and brittle~ until it reaches xer eyes. That's where it sometimes changes, melts away into something pure and fresh. Devoid of the shadows lurking around xer edges even at the best of times, sometimes limned with a hope that is too soon worn away. She loves the double lines of dimples that appear around xer mouth, and how pale the miniscule pinholes that line upper and lower lip alike become. Loki will never know the restraint she bears in keeping herself from touching them.

Lastly what do you like watching them do?:

In a word? Everything. Hela swimming in crystalline waters, the way her tiny fingers collect dew from spiderwebs and that Beth can swear turns the vibrations to music. Simply how she grows and changes every day. But if she had to pick one in particular, it's connected to her favourite thing to watch regarding Loki. It is seeing Hela curl up close to him, enthralled and delighted by whatever her papa is about, eager in expression. Listening to her questions full of remarkable insight and its own native wisdom.

From Loki? It is the stories. Woven through with xer voice and enchantments. Living things that might change but still manage to carry a core truth regardless of how they are spun. She has never not been moved by them, received them as the treasure they are.