Personal experience with consent

I am doing this because I have a lot on my mind and can't let go of what happened.

I am a 17 years old female who looks 14, it is my last year of highschool and I am think I almost lost virginity to some form of sexual assaults. I would like to share my story so everyone can (still) know better than what I did. I was always a very serious person, considering my gender and how dangerous it is outside at night. But this guy that I'd name K changed my perspection of my doings and so I disobeyed my mom which I shouldn't have.

He is a year younger than me and in a different highschool. I first met him in highschool junior and lost sight of him after my departure for highschool. I saw him again in march when I recognized him in my bus it was probably around 6pm. I said hi and said it back and kept looking at his phone, he got kind of handsome really. When I got home that night i saw he added me on every social medias and came to talk to me 24/7 on insta. He proposed to go out drinking in our street once after gaining my friendship and trust. I agreed, I was the only girl and they were like 4 to 5 boys if I remember but we all know each others. That night I got drunk slept againgst a wall and when it was time to get home my mom took her medicine which helped her sleep and locked me out of the house by accident. That was us drinking for the first time together, I dont really enjoy drinking but since it is trendy among people of our age I thought it would be great to go out a bit and have a social life tho I did not know what was coming.

I finally succeded going home around 7am, mom said she was sorry, she hoped everything had gone well I told her "yeah dw" that was the truth but then i got notification from k again he said "that night was amazing and we should do it again but just the 2 of us and you should pay for the bottle this time since I payed for that night. I agreed sensing nothing but a friendly invitation. On a saturday at 8pm we met again (probably 1 week and a half after the first time i drank out). I dont last long with alchool unlike him and he knows that but we were 2 with a big bottle of rhum i drank 3 glasses with juice mixed in it and i slept against some wall to sober up I was slightly buzzed but it kept getting worse and from there I forgot a lot of the things that happened, really.

Somehow after talking closely to each other he ended up kissing me like my soul was wanted. Honestly the best kissing ever, I was a little attracted to him but I never had this in mind whenever I met him. I'm kind of stuck up and shy I would never iniciate something like this and people know my reputation for never making a move. I remember him saying he got candoms at home which was kinda close to our current location. I never agreed to go, I just aknowledge what he said I could not walk properly so he packed up my bag and brought me to his house in his room ON HIS OWN and i was not even conscient of that. I gained my consiousness back when I woke up on his bed he was putting on red leds💀. He came back kissing me and my head was spiralling I could not see straight but I was not against some kissing i liked it. But then he undressed me while I was laying and I was very slow about what was happening. Then, he tried to rub me through my panties and pushed it aside, i had not realised at that time that he already was wearing the condom and was streaped down like me. He tried to put it in and i thank god for making me this tight cuz it really hurted and he knew it but tried a second time just to fail. I wasnt aroused anymore and could not voice it out. Then without again asking for permission he got to my lower body under the sheets, pushed it aside once again and literaly began to lick my clitoris. It was euphoric and it felt really good. But once sobered up I did not think of it like that. After that he kept touching me but I was totally knocked out and I dont know what happened from there . He woke me up at 7am and told me I should completely get going if I dont want to be caught. I dressed myself up and whent ooutsde with him. He tried to kiss me goodbye but I wasnt in for that now that i sobered a little. I got home to my mother very angry saying she didnt recognize me anymore because- my neck was completely purple. The bastard sucked my soul out, i dont know when. I was grounded and told to put vinegar on it to erase it the best i could. It didnt go off for at least a week and a half. Then she told me to go to sleep if i did not want a whooping. When i woke up I went to take a shower and my body reveal was like opening a kinder surprise. My hips, right part of my chest and right leftcheek was printed blue too. I did not know what to think. At first, i thought, "well highschool experience yk". But after talking about it with a close friend she told me it was not okay he did not ask me for permission and i was drunk and that basically that made him a duchebag.

I was delulu over that because of that attraction i felt for him but after thinking it trough, days later i realised it was not okay. He stopped hitting me up as if he got what he wanted I felt used and disgusted though he did not penetrate me. And i'd like all genders to be careful in any situation called "friendly" when alchool is involved. I genuinely need to do a lot of stuff to get over that. I will give my consent when sober thats for sure and I hope naive people like me will too. Im sorry toward victims of SA and such its horrible. Please educate people around you about consent and be careful.

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