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IN PRAISE OF THE SO-CALLED "MALE GAZE" -- ARE WE NOT RED-BLOODED MEN?
PIC INFO: Resolution at 1101x1500 -- Spotlight on cover art to "Savage Sword of Conan" Vol. 1 #100. May, 1984. Marvel Comics. Artwork/painting by Joe Jusko.
Source: www.hipcomic.com/listing/savage-sword-of-conan-100-marvel-comics-1984-john-buscema-joe-jusko-fn-vf-70/12155001.
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adamwatchesmovies · 3 years
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Conan the Barbarian (1982)
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Though 1982's Conan the Barbarian never quite becomes the quintessential sword and sorcery adventure many claims it is, you can see the appeal.
Young Conan witnesses the murder of his entire village, is forced into slavery, trained in the ways of war through gladiatorial combat, and once freed, seeks revenge. With the aid of a brigand named Valeria (Sandahl Bergman) and the archer Subotai (Gerry Lopez) Conan (played as an adult by Arnold Schwarzenegger) searches for Thulsa Doom (James Earl Jones), the leader of a cult who worships snakes.
What is Conan the Barbarian like? The promotional art tells you everything you need to know. A hulking muscle-bound hero raising a sword into the air. A sword. Not a gun or a crossbow, but a weapon used to violently cleave the life out of one’s enemies while they can see the rage in your eyes. No armor is necessary for this warrior. No shield either. He is the embodiment of manliness and by his stern expression, you can tell that he means business. At his feet, a beautiful, scantily clad woman with a sword. It's the embodiment of every red-blooded teenager's fantasy: consistently violent, gritty, and gory with many attractive actors/actresses, plenty of nudity and of course, sex.
The look is perfect. Dusty, cob-web covered skeleton in armor, huge snake adorned temples, ancient ziggurats, shady-looking marketplaces, brutal torture chambers, and seedy gladiator rings are the cornerstones of Conan's world. The casting is spot-on. Schwarzenegger is perfect as a hero that is unshakably stoic and single-minded. James Earl Jones has that unearthly quality in his voice that makes him simultaneously charismatic and sinister. Special effects-wise, it's quite good for the time and budget. Knowing that when Arnold was spearing Thulsa Doom’s pet, he was in an actual dusty, stone-covered pit, actually wrestling with a scaly puppet filled with fake blood and guts makes you all giddy inside in a way no CG creation could.
“What is good in life?” Conan is asked. He replies, “To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women”. It’s barbaric but I love it. This is just one of several memorable bits of dialogue. The score is also excellent. Just thinking about it gets me revved up for some bloody adventures.
All those qualities are needed to outweigh the weak performances. Schwarzenegger has charisma but he sounds like an actual barbarian trying to read Shakespeare. He manages a lot better than Sandahl Bergman as his lover/partner in arms whose acting is non-existent. She looks the part, but yeesh! You may also find yourself wondering where things are going more than once due to the uneven pacing. With the ending comes a big surprise, but I wish director John Milius had taken a cue from the Ray Harryhausen adventures and given us a big monster battle to really wow the audience instead..
Though some would say it's too violent and R-Rated for teens, Conan is perfect as that movie you watch with your friends late at night when the adults have gone to bed. You’ll be so excited to see Conan bedding all of these amazon women and triumphing over murderous tyrants you won’t notice the bad acting. Its rough edges might be what makes Conan the Barbarian a cult-favorite. There's plenty to genuine like about it too. (On Blu-ray, July 2, 2015)
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WITNESS THE HYBORIAN AGE IN THE MIGHTY MARVEL MANNER.
PIC(S) INFO: Spotlight on remastered, textless, & published cover art to "Savage Sword of Conan" Vol. 2 #4 [Part of the "Cult of Koga Thun" and "Shadow of Vengeance" story arcs]. June, 2019. Marvel Comics. Artwork by Alex Ross.
Resolution from largest to smallest: 1325x2048, 1160x2048, & 1040x1600.
Sources: https://twitter.com/thealexrossart/status/1488879434744668167/photo/1 & Reddit.
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"THESE KILLER APES WERE THE MOST FEARED BEASTS OF THE HYBORIAN AGE."
NOTE: Used to obsessively bcollect action figures way back in high school daze, and this was always one of my favorites. I unearthed it just the other day.
PIC(S) INFO: Part 2 of 2 -- Spotlight on promo shots of the "Man-Eating Haunter (of the Pits)," 6.5" action figure from "Conan: The Hour of the Dragon" Series 2, released by McFarlane Toys in April 2005, and inspired by the Hyborian legends as originally written by writer-creator Robert E. Howard.
FIGURE OVERVIEW: "With the help of Zenobia the slave girl, Conan attempts to escape from the dungeons of the King of Nemedia but not before he must battle the Haunter of the pits.
Conan is cornered and attacked by a great hulking monster of enormous size and strength. He quickly recognizes that the grisly ogre is a man-eating ape from the mountain forests near the Sea of Vilayet. These killer apes were the most feared beasts of the Hyborian Age.
Armed with a dagger that was given to him by Zenobia, Conan knows he must battle this hulking creature and that only one shall survive."
-- MCFARLANE TOYS, c. 2005, box/item/character description
Source: www.pinterest.com/pin/conan-series-2-hour-of-the-dragon-april-2005-maneating-haunter-of-the-pits--315392780133427667.
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SURVIVAL TIPS FROM THE HYBORIAN AGE -- A POISONED BLADE GOES A LONG WAY IN POTENTIAL COMBAT.
PIC(S) INFO: Spotlight on panels of Conan being as resourceful as ever when the opportunity arises, and, yes, he will he utilizing the poisoned blade later in this issue, from "Conan the Barbarian" Vol. 1 #28. July, 1973. Marvel Comics.
Writer/editor: Roy Thomas
Artist: John Buscema
Inker: Ernie Chua, a.k.a., Ernie Chan
Colors: Glynis Wein
Letters: John Costanza
Source: www.zipcomic.com/conan-the-barbarian-1970-issue-28.
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"...THE WOMAN OF AZURE ONCE MORE PARTS THOSE LOVELY, UNSPEAKING LIPS."
PIC(S) INFO: Part 2 of 2 -- Spotlight on more assorted panels of the mysterious "Sea Woman," a.k.a., the "Sea-Witch," encountered by Conan, Bélit, & the Tigress pirate vessel in the Western Ocean, from the pages of "Conan the Barbarian" Vol. 1 #98. May, 1979. Marvel Comics.
"... when the girl of azure once more those lovely unspeaking lips. It is as she sings a song which none but one may hear, each time it's sung... a song too lovely, too deep for words or music..."
-- "CONAN THE BARBARIAN" Vol. 1 #98
Story/script by Roy Thomas (after REH)
Pencils by John Buscema
Inks by Ernie Chan
Colors by G. Roussos
Source: https://viewcomiconline.com/conan-the-barbarian-v1-098.
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"I SAY SHE'S SOME KIND OF SEA-WITCH -- AND I SAY WE LET HER BE!"
PIC(S) INFO: Part 1 of 2 -- Spotlight on assorted panels of the mysterious "Sea Woman," a.k.a., the "Sea-Witch," encountered by Conan, Bélit, & the Tigress pirate vessel in the Western Ocean, from the pages of "Conan the Barbarian" Vol. 1 #98. May, 1979. Marvel Comics.
"Perhaps the tropical sun has got to all of us -- for, surely the sheer motion of the waves would toss the woman to her knees -- yet she stands! I say she's some kind of sea-witch -- and I say we let her be!"
-- BÉLIT to Conan (and her Black Corsair sub-chiefs aboard the Tigress pirate vessel)
Story/script by Roy Thomas (after REH)
Pencils by John Buscema
Inks by Ernie Chan
Colors by G. Roussos
Source: https://viewcomiconline.com/conan-the-barbarian-v1-098.
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"SHE BENDS DOWN EVER SO SLOWLY FROM HER WATERY THRONE..."
PIC(S) INFO: Spotlight on a REH poem titled "The Sea-Woman," published posthumously, and a page of the unnamed "Sea-Witch" claiming the life of a black corsair, from "Conan the Barbarian" Vol. 1 #98. May, 1979. Marvel Comics. Story/script by Roy Thomas.
Artwork by John Buscema (pencils), Ernie Chan (inks), & G. Roussos (colors).
"The wild sea is beating Against the grey sands; The woman, the sea-woman, Stretches her hands.
Her eyes they are mystic And cold as the sea, With slender white fingers She beckons to me –
There are woods in the sea Though the leaves are all grey, The ocean’s pale roses Lift dim in the spray. I follow – I follow – The grey sea-gull flies – Ah, woman, sea-woman, There’s death in your eyes."
-- "The Sea Woman" by ROBERT E. HOWARD
Sources: www.paintmonkslibrary.com/2019/07/19/review-a-haunting-howard-poem-adapted-for-conan & One Million Comics.
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HACKING THROUGH THE UNDEAD HORDES OF KOGA THUN -- "WELCOME TO THE DEADLY HYBORIAN AGE."
PIC INFO: Just another day in the Hyborian Age -- Resolution at 1317x2000 -- Spotlight on textless cover art to "Savage Sword of Conan" Vol. 2 #1. April, 2019. Marvel Comics. Artwork by Alex Ross & Ron Garney.
Fuck me, is that the creepiest-looking eyeball you've ever seen on a comic-book cover, or what? How's this for a warm-up in incoming "Macabre Marvel" October month madness?
ISSUE OVERVIEW: "THE ANCIENT CULT OF KOGA THUN. A MYSTICAL TREASURE. AND THE ONLY MAN WHO CAN SAVE THE HYBORIAN AGE!
Adrift at sea. No food. No weapons. Death surely awaits him. But the lionhearted CONAN is not so easily subdued, by Crom! When Conan finds himself captured, he unleashes his might on an unsuspecting pirate crew…one whose dark secrets will plunge Conan on the trail of an ancient treasure that may prove to be his undoing!
Welcome to the deadly Hyborian Age —hope you survive the experience!"
-- MARVEL COMICS, c. spring 2019
Source: https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Savage_Sword_of_Conan_Vol_2_1.
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THIS "SEA-WITCH" CAST SUCH A POWERFUL SPELL OVER ME -- I WENT AND BOUGHT HER ISSUE.
PIC(S) INFO: Spotlight on published & preliminary/inked cover art to "Conan the Barbarian" Vol. 1 #98 [in a story titled "Sea-Woman!"]. May, 1979. Marvel Comics. Artwork by John Buscema & Bob McLeod.
"In a moment, all eyes of those aboard the sea-roving Tigress are turned in the direction indicated by Ajonga's shout... and that which they now behold leaves them each speechless for a long, lingering moment! A woman, azure of flesh, and with free-flowing hair the color of some radiant type of seaweed..."
-- "CONAN THE BARBARIAN" Vol. 1 #98 (story/script by Roy Thomas)
Resolution from largest to smallest: 1307x2000, 987x1530, & 906x1354.
Sources: https://viewcomiconline.com/conan-the-barbarian-v1-098 & Nostalgic Investments.
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"THE NATIVES OF THE REGION CALL THEM LAKHMU. THE NAME MEANS HARBINGER, OR BRINGER OF DEATH."
PIC(S) INFO: Just another day in the Hyborian Age -- Spotlight on our titular barbarian battling a serpentine Lakhmu, who were known to dwell in the tropical rainforest areas south of the Vilayet Sea, from the pages of "Conan the Barbarian" Vol. 1 #28. July, 1973. Marvel Comics.
"The natives of the region call them Lakhmu. The name means harbinger, or bringer of death. And the creatures are better-named than most.... For, what flailing talons and tightening coils are slow to do, venom-dripping fangs will accomplish in seven short seconds... if they reach the man's tight-corded neck. As one being they roll around the forest floor -- man and serpent entwined -- toward a slimy, half-hidden bog -- and into it!"
Story/script: Roy Thomas
Pencils: "Big" John Buscema
Inks: Ernie Chua, a.k.a., Ernie Chan
Colors: Glynis Wein
Letters: John Costanza
Source: https://onemillioncomics.com/conan-the-barbarian-v1-028.
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"AND THAT WHICH THEY NOW BEHOLD LEAVES THEM EACH SPEECHLESS FOR A LONG, LINGERING MOMENT!"
PIC(S) INFO: Spotlight on the introductory splash page of the mysterious "sea-witch," and the three following pages depicting her would-be "rescue" from the open sea, from "Conan the Barbarian" Vol. 1 #98. May, 1979. Marvel Comics.
“And that which they now behold leaves them each speechless for a long, lingering moment! A woman, azure of flesh, and with free-flowing hair the color of some radiant type of seaweed…a woman, young and fair of face and form, who must by all rights have been lost off some tempest-tossed and pirate-sunk ship…yet who stands silent and nearly un-moving as a statue atop what seems a huge, bobbing lily pad…a thing which seems like a poor lifeboat indeed!”
– ROY THOMAS, "Conan the Barbarian" #98, on encountering the "sea-witch" in the open ocean
Story/script by Roy Thomas (after REH)
Pencils by John Buscema
Inks by Ernie Chan
Colors by G. Roussos
Source: https://viewcomiconline.com/conan-the-barbarian-v1-098.
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"...CRIES OF SAVAGERY AND SLAUGHTER -- SNARLS OF SHEER, UNADORNED, AND SIMPLE HATRED..."
PIC(S) INFO: Spotlight on textless cover art to "Savage Sword of Conan" Vol. 2 #3, after John Buscema & Ernie Chan. May, 2019. Marvel Comics. Artwork by Alex Ross, from a panel found in "Conan the Barbarian" Vol. 1. January, 1977. Published by Marvel.
"And, seconds later there are voices aplenty before the shore of the antique city! Cries of savagery and slaughter -- snarls of sheer, unadorned, and simple hatred -- aye, and howls of soul-wrenching pain, as hardened pirates meet undisciplined warriors! But, the battle is short -- and then the defenders rush back at a given signal into their city -- shutting their great gates behind them."
-- "CONAN THE BARBARIAN" Vol. 1 #70 (Story/script by Roy Thomas)
Resolution from largest to smallest 1348x2048, 908x777, 809x999, 640x787, & 602x680.
Sources: https://onemillioncomics.com/the-chronicles-of-conan-tpb-9-part-1, Marvel wikia (Fandom), http://swords-and-veeblefetzers.blogspot.com/2011/03/conan-barbarian-70-city-in-storm.html, X, Paint Monks Library, various, etc...
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BY CROM! IT'S A FANGED, FERAL, FEARSOME GOLDEN APE FROM ZEMBABWEI!
PIC(S) INFO: Spotlight on published & remastered cover art to "Conan the Barbarian" Vol. 1 #28 ["Moon of Zembabwei!"]. July, 1973. Marvel Comics. Artwork by Gil Kane & Ernie Chua.
Resolution at 1835x2735 & 1780x2676.
Sources: www.hipcomic.com/listing/conan-the-barbarian-28-1970-v1-john-buscema-fn/10993514 & https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Conan_the_Barbarian_Vol_1_28.
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STILL MY FAVORITE "SAVAGE SWORD..." PIECE OF THE '80s -- PROPERLY BESTIAL, BRUTAL, & BARBARIC.
PIC INFO: Spotlight on what I humbly believe to be the distilled essence of Robert E. Howard's crowing achievement in sword & sorcery/high adventure fiction -- Cover art to "Savage Sword of Conan" Vol. 1 #159. April, 1989. Marvel Comics. Artwork by Joe Jusko.
Resolution from largest to smallest: 1108x1500, 1062x1414, & 643x864.
Sources: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/169448004719656139 & eBay.
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"LEGEND HAS IT [MILIUS] ALWAYS WANTED TO DIRECT A VIKING MOVIE, AND THIS WAS THE CLOSEST HE GOT TO THAT SPIRIT."
PIC(S) INFO: Spotlight on behind-the-scenes photos of writer/director John Milius during the shooting of the sword & sorcery/action picture "Conan the Barbarian" (1982).
"Legend has it he [Milius] always wanted to direct a Viking movie, and this was the closest he got to that spirit. “Howard seemed as highly suspicious of civilization as I am,” the widely read Milius said. “You know, people ask me how I could be interested in pagan, Teutonic cultures, and I tell them I cannot help myself—voices sing to me. I tell them there might be something we can learn from them.” The film’s most famous imperative exchange, “What is best in life?” “To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women,” derives from a Harold Lamb book on Genghis Khan ("The Emperor of All Men"):
One day in the pavilion at Karakorum he [Genghis Kahn] asked an officer of the Mongol guard what, in all the world, could bring the greatest happiness.
"The open steppe, a clear day, and a swift horse under you," responded the officer after a little thought, "and a falcon on your wrist to start up hares."
"Nay," responded the Kahn, "to crush your enemies, to see them fall at your feet—to take their horses and goods and hear the lamentation of their women. That is best.""
-- CINEPHILIA & BEYOND, "Do You Want to Live Forever?" — John Milius’ "Conan the Barbarian" (1982), by Tim Pelan
Sources: www.cinephiliabeyond.org/want-live-forever-john-milius-conan-barbarian, Pinterest, IMDb, Shot on What?, & Scrum in Miniature.
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