Marigold: Vanessa's whole deal like keeping secrets is good? Nathaniel: Yes. Tark: To an extent. Moriarty: Whose to say that she won't keep those secrets by sharing them with her higher ups? Tark: Yeah, I mean, they're secrets in the organization and keeping secrets from the general public who's not, but I don't really know that equates to keeping secrets with your higher ups, you know? Eudora: I tend to suspect that her attitude towards keepin' secrets is very one-sided. Hunt & Tark: Yeah. Tark: So that's a no. Eudora: Whatever benefits the church. Tark: Exactly. Moriarty: Or even just her. Eudora: I would suspect that the church is above herself in her own mental hierarchy. Tark: Yeah. I would assume so. Eudora: Now I don't suggest we tell her everythin' about Jasper necessarily, 'cause I don't want Jasper to now have a target on his back from a whole organized religion. Nathaniel (OOC): [in chat] having Thoughts about the cloaked serpent and the platinum dragon Eudora: Which it probably will be, but--- Nathaniel (OOC): [in chat] but its neither here nor there because I can't confirm Eudora: I'm wonderin' if there's someway we could get more from her Tark (OOC): [in chat] well do tell Nathaniel (OOC): [in chat] it's not a helpful though DM: [in chat] I think so many thoughts about them do share. Eudora: about this Vedephaen character. She doesn't know the name off the top of her head, but that doesn't mean... Tark: Yeah, and I think the more information we gather against the thing that may be controlling or influencing Jasper, will give us more of an idea of where he may be going? Eudora: mm-hmm Tark: So if we... Did we ask, we did ask the Mystic about Vedephaen right? Or no? Hunt: I don't think you had. Eudora: I don't think we had the name Vedephaen at that point. Tark: Okay, I didn't think so either, I just wanted to make sure. Oh! That's right 'cause we learned the name and Tark was like 'Eyyo, wanna hang out?' and he hasn't shown back up in town or whatever. Hunt: Yeah. Tark: Okay, okay, so we still have that to potentially gather information from. Aw man, I really wished we had asked the fey about... 'Cause you would think any major power move from any gods, any strong beings, anything the fey might know about it right? They know a lot of shit. Marigold: Doesn't really affect us in the Feywild. Hunt: It seems like they mostly keep to their own plane of existence. Tark: Hmm, Marigold, what about your dad? Do you think he would, could we give him a call? Eudora: I don't think this is really his field of interest. Marigold: I mean if we wanted to bring him over to hunt Jasper down, perhaps he would be able to help in that manner, but he wouldn't know anything about any of this. Tark: Oh? Because so it's like an official title 'Lord of the Hunt' and not just like anything hunting anything? Nathaniel (OOC): [in chat] if the cloaked serpent does the less moral acts that move things in favor of the dragon, then it makes sense for the serpent to keep the details secret even from the dragon. So it's not a stretch to assume Vanessa might keep secrets from higher ups. But we'd need to Know 100% Vanessa is 100% on our side and Will actually keep the secrets. Moriarty: Oh, Marigold's father is the fey you pissed off. Tark: I just closed the door in his face. I apologized. Marigold: Water under the bridge.Tark: Thank fuck.

Rusla: Thank you for flying with the Lone Wolf and welcome to the Elegant Roses.

DM: Then heads back up the stairs.

Marigold (OOC): Drink are not provided.

Tark (OOC): You have to pay for those yourself.

Gavel (OOC): There will be no in-flight meal.

Nathaniel (OOC): If you're traveling with a child, why?

Tark (OOC): If you're traveling with a child, please stow them overboard.

Gavel: Are there any other things I should know about? Afflictions, maladies, problems?

DM: Hunt's got asthma.

Tark (OOC): He doesn't need to know that.

Gavel: Do you have your inhaler?

Hunt (OOC): Technically, inhalers don't exist yet. (IC): I have medications.

Gavel: Okay, perfect.

Moriarty: I'm missing a hand and a leg.

Gavel: Why are you---

Eudora: I lost my husband.

Gavel: Okay, one at a time.

Tark: I just got adopted. I'm a little emotional about it.

DM: You've opened the floor.

Gavel: Okay, hold on. Okay, you're a grown adult, how did you get adopted? We've been on this ship for a day, how'd you get adopted?

Tark: No, I mean, I recently got adopted so I'm still a little emotional about it.

Gavel: Who adopted you?

Tark: My mom.

Gavel: Who's your mom?

Tark: Tilly?

Nathaniel (OOC): 'Who adopted you?' 'My boss'

DM: 'My pimp'

Tark (OOC): She's my mom okay. She's actually my second mom.

DM: Gavel is there anything you need to do in the meantime?

Gavel: Okay, I would like to call a team meeting.

DM: Okay.

Gavel: Okay, I would like to gather everyone. "Okay, so look, forgive me I get the sense that and I might have a wrong read, I get the sense that this is not the most organized group of people that I've ever been around.

Tark: We are surprisingly organized when we need to be.

Gavel: Okay.

Eudora: We work well together.

Hunt: Sort of like disorganized organization.

Gavel: Okay, but that still has 'disorganized' in it, you understand that?

Nathaniel: Organized chaos.

Hunt: Yes.

Moriarty: We're trying our best, but I really do think these people hate me, except for Nathaniel.

Nathaniel: They don't hate you.

Eudora: Darlin'.

Nathaniel: You're just fun to mess with.

Gavel: Okay, Nathaniel has not stopped smiling in the 48 hours I have known him.

Tark: Yeah, he just does that.

Nathaniel: I apologize. It's a habit.

Gavel: Don't apologi... why is smiling a habit? Don't apologize.

Tark (OOC): 'Why is smiling a habit?'

Gavel: I'm not off-put, I'm just concerned and questioning.

Nathaniel: Most people seem to feel that way about me.

Gavel: Okay, we need to work on your self-esteem. Now listen, I get the sense that I am going to be here for whatever this allots and then we're going our separate ways, in this interim time that we are here, I would like to have a better sense of what we can do as a collective group.

Nathaniel (OOC): [in chat] nathaniel actually enjoys Gavel's commentary about him.

Gavel: And individually, so what are you all good at?

Tark: We all just look at each other.

Hunt: I'm good at sneaking around and getting in and out of place.

Gavel: Okay, that's good.

Nathaniel: Nathaniel lifts up his clockwork arm and says, "I'm a clockmaker."

DM: Oh my god! Yeah, his left arm is made out of clockwork.

Nathaniel (OOC): It's like a prosthetic, but it's more like pliable like his flesh has literally been turned into clockwork.

Gavel: Okay... [something] clock guy, anyone else [something] mix, come on.

Moriarty: I'm an inventor.

Eudora: Archaeologist and I have quite good aim.

Gavel: Okay that's more like it, I don't know what archaeology would do in the middle of the life or death situation.

Tark: Surprisingly a lot.

Nathaniel: She's the most...

Gavel: Present your dissertation to the dragon as it's eating you alive.

Tark: Yes.

Nathaniel: She's actually the most efficient out of all of us.

Eudora: I just had a dragon try to eat me.

Hunt: And we did face a dragon not too long ago.

Gavel: Oh, that's what I'm saying.

Tark: Actually, the dissertation did help with one of the dragons.

Eudora: It did indeed.

Gavel: Okay, I'm getting the sense that you're all competent however you revel in incompetence.

Tark: I mean...

Marigold: No?

Tark: I wouldn't say that. We're very good at our jobs.

Gavel: Yes, I know that.

Hunt: But it's just that we give off the appearance that we're incompetent.

Gavel: Yes.

Hunt: Until we have to prove ourselves.

Gavel: Yes.

Marigold: I don't.

DM: Mary's not pretending.

Marigold: I think I'm following.

Elifaen: Okay, yeah I mean, I know he took care of you for many years. When I would talk to him, you were usually there, I was surprised you didn't recognize me at all or say anything when you saw me.

Marigold: Well... Reintroductions maybe?

Elifaen: Sure. I am Elifaen Yllhana, member of the Bonded, it's a particular order of Blood Hunters, we hunt monsters and foul creatures of all sorts.

Marigold: Me?

Elifaen: And you are now?

Marigold: Marigold Mayweather.

Elifaen: Hmm.

Marigold: What was that 'hmm' about?

Elifaen: Nothing.

Marigold: It sounded like something.

Elifaen: Do you want me to tell him.... Well I'm going to tell him that you're safe. Is there anything else you want me to tell him? Maybe he'd know how to get your memories back, I'm sorry but I knew you had been taken, but... I didn't realize they were going to completely erase all of it.

Marigold: What?

Elifaen: Oh right, you don't remember. The Courts were upset that you were in the Fey because you're from the Material Plane, so they took you and had you brought back to the Material Plane and they must have erased your mind. I mean, I know a lot of mortals tend to forget what happens in the Feywild because it's like a dream-state where you wake up, you and forget your dreams, but I didn't realize they were going to take everything from you. Though I shouldn't be surprised they were that cruel. I mean, you father was never really favored in the Courts anyways.

Marigold: Okay. So this wasn't just a fun accident?

Elifaen: No, you were taken from him.

Marigold: Okay. If you would excuse me.

Elifaen: Yeah, I know this is a lot, but if you have any questions for me, I'll answer.

Marigold: Maybe later.

Hunt: Okay, if Rusla is going through the room, I'll help her out.

DM: Okay, go ahead and roll an investigation for me. With advantage since she's assisting you.

Hunt: Oh yay advantage, *rolls*

Moriarty (OOC): I hope you find something great and terrible that you never wanted to see.

Hunt: Okay, 15+9...24.

DM: Ethan, is there anything weird in Ulfric's quarters? That wouldn't have been tossed immediately, that would've been hidden?

Moriarty (OOC): Wouldn't have been tossed immediately...

Eudora (OOC): Not the pig in a bag.

DM: So not the pig in a bag.

Moriarty (OOC): The pig in a bag is gone. You probably find a hidden store of alcohol.

DM: Of course.

Hunt: *sighs* of course.

Moriarty (OOC): A deep deep hidden store.

Tark (OOC): This fucking alcoholic.

Moriarty (OOC): 24 was it?

DM: Yeah.

Moriarty (OOC): Yeah, you probably find in a hollowed out leg of the bed frame some correspondents between Ulfric and a former lover of his by the name of Brandy. You get the sense from the letters that he was very close to giving up whatever he was getting himself into to be with her, but at the last minute decided not to.

Hunt: I will set those aside.

DM: You find an unsent letter, you pretty much find only her side of the letters and the unsent one. That's all you find, I'm sure, Rusla was thorough. She's sitting there smelling each bottle that she's got to see if something doesn't smell like alcohol or smells weird.

DM: If Moriarty and Nathaniel are bunking up, Gavel you are offered the room beneath the stairs in the hold which has an incredibly nice door, mahogany intricately etched, there's gold filigree this incredibly intricate knob.

Nathaniel (OOC): It's the best door on the entire ship.

DM: it is the maybe one of the most beautiful doors you've ever seen anywhere besides at the Thefaren manor. It's gorgeous, it's inlaid with a few gems, it's beautiful. They open it up and you see there is a storage closet that has been converted into a small cot room inside.

Gavel: What....could possibly have brought us to this moment?

Nathaniel (OOC): Your day gets weirder and weirder, doesn't it?

Tark (OOC): I would like to imagine that Tark and Eudora are at the top of the stairs cackling when his room is shown to him.

Moriarty: I'm just gonna tap Gavel on the shoulder and be like, "They made me pay 250 gold for that door."

Tark: It's a nice door.

Hunt: You have to admit, it is a very nice door.

Eudora: Beautiful craftsmanship.

Gavel: So let me get this straight; You have the nicest door, possibly in the realm, leading to a converted storage closet.

Rusla: The door was broken and I needed to replace it, so... I wasn't payin' for it.

Eudora: I must compliment you on your taste.

Rusla: I appreciate that Miss Wildethorn, thank you.

Tark: It's a beautiful door.

Gavel: Can I just say, that 250 gold could've gone to anything else.

Rusla: I'm sure it could have, but we put a bit of a discount on it, it was the holiday season after all. Was feelin' quite generous.

Gavel: So, your winter festival present was a door?

Rusla: Yep, from Mr. Kilmister there seeing as it was his fault it needed to get replaced.

Moriarty: If we really want to get into who's fault it is...

Rusla: It was your fault.

Tark: It was your fault.

Hunt: It was your fault, you broke the door.

Gavel: Wow wow wow, okay. Well, I am going to be down here if anyone needs me. This has been a very enlightening experience.

Nathaniel: I'm sure.

Gavel: Wow.

Nathaniel (OOC): We're professionals, can't you tell?

DM: *pulls up Carver's sheet* And you can discuss the payment. It will take a while to get to Queensrest and hopefully she's still there. When you discuss Queensrest, Carver looks visibly very nervous.

Gavel: This is gonna have to do. This is very important we're gonna have to do this. Any of you have a candle?

Tark: Tark reaches into his bag of holding and pulls out a candle. It is---

Nathaniel (OOC): oh no.

Tark: Sparkly, it has glitter in it and it's purple.

Moriarty (OOC): I thought you said it was gonna be shaped like a dick.

DM: It might be.

Eudora (OOC): I mean, aren't all candles kind of....

Tark: If you actually kind of really look at it, it used to, but it's been set on fire so it's half of a dick, but it's a candle.

Gavel: Interesting. Can you light the candle?

Tark: Tark pulls out a match out of his bag of holding the lights the candle.

Gavel: Gavel will pull out a cigar and light it on top of the candle. "Thank you."

Tark: Nice. (OOC): Question just real quick; We just leveled up to level 7 right?

DM & Hunt (OOC): Yes/Yep

Tark (OOC): Cool coolcoolcoolcoolcool. How big is Queensrest?

DM: Big.

Hunt (OOC): It's the capital city of Thel.

Tark (OOC): No, I know. But to walk from one end to the other? How long would it take?

DM: Maybe a good several hours.

Tark (OOC): Oh, okay.

DM: It's big. It's the capital of Relni.

Tark (OOC): Okay. That is good to know, okay thank you.

Gavel: Okay, so how much are you usually paid for things?

Moriarty: Well, that depends 'cause the last thing we were paid for was, what, ten thousand gold?

Carver: This is true. The last retrieval of a person alive.

Gavel: We are in the wrong business. I think we're in the wrong business. 10,000 gold?

Carver: To be fair, it was very high-profile case.

Gavel: These chucklefucks?

Carver: Yeah.

Tark: We're very good at our job.

Gavel: I... don't doubt that.

Carver: How about 500? Will that settle it for you?

Gavel: I can swing that.

Carver: Okay.

Eudora: I'm afraid you might not be able to find what you're lookin' for here, darlin'.

Gavel: Hmm, well...

Rhistel: Perhaps this other figure you mentioned, Calariel?

Gavel: Yes, if we can't find that one, let's try avenue #2.

Rhistel: I'm afraid that name doesn't ring a bell, could you describe them perhaps?

Gavel: An elf, average height, long dark hair, wears round gold glasses, likes to hold information over you, relatively intelligent, that sort of thing.

Marigold: Relative to what?

Hunt: Umm, DM? Does this...

DM: Yes.

Hunt: I've had a brief interaction with her.

Gavel: *sounds*

Hunt: In Queensest.

Gavel: *excited noise*

Hunt: Though she went by the name of 'Captain Mendax' of the Vermilion Clupea.

DM: As Hunt now mentions this to the party, is anyone proficient in nature?

Marigold: Yes.

Tark (OOC): Probably not.

DM: If you are, please roll nature for me.

Marigold (OOC): I know nature!

Nathaniel (OOC): I do not know nature.

DM: If Marigold knows what this, I'm gonna laugh hysterically.

Marigold: *rolls* It doesn't look promising to be honest. That's a 4 in total.

Gavel: I am proficient in Nature.

DM: Definitely, please roll for me.

Gavel: *rolls* Oh, that's better that's a 23.

DM: So you don't recognize the name 'Mendax'. But you do know what a clupea is and it is a more scientific name for a fish that is common off the coast of Strathenden. Commonly known as a herring. So The Vermilion Clupea, The Red Herring.

Nathaniel (OOC): Oh my god, Swan.

Hunt (OOC): Oh my god!

Tark (OOC): I love her.

DM: And Elifaen actually just doesn't know if she wants to laugh or groan, is like

Elifaen: Mendax.

DM: And Tark you can roll History 'cause you studied languages.

Tark (OOC): Yeah buddy!

Eudora (OOC): Would I actually...?

DM: Yeah, Eudora probably would as well.

Eudora (OOC): History. *rolls* I can reroll Nat1's.

DM: Yes you can.

Eudora: That's not much better. 12?

Tark: That is a dirty 20.

DM: So Tark knows at the same moment as Elifaen; 'mendax' is an old Elvish word that means 'deceitful' or 'lying'.

Tark: Tark just kind of rubs his eyes like...

DM: Just this full entire ass name, a Captain Deceit of The Red Herring. Completely just went over Hunt and Carver's heads.

Moriarty (OOC): Oh my fucking god.

DM: Was real proud of that one.

DM: The half-elf has been staring at Marigold this entire time.

Tark (OOC): Ey ey ey ey ey! This is our furry boy.

Gavel: Do you know them?

DM: She looks at you Marigold like you're supposed to say something.

Marigold: No? What?

Elifaen: 'No'? Well yes, but...

Moriarty, Tark, & Nathaniel: What?

Tark: Excuse me, what?

Gavel: *sighs* Please.

Elifaen: Maybe we should talk later about that.

DM: She says this in Sylvan.

Moriarty (OOC): Oh my god.

Nathaniel (OOC): What does her Sylvan sound like?

DM: For the most part it just sounds like the phonetics, the actual syllables, you can understand the pattern of the speech, but every couple of words or syllables it sounds like a drop of water on a still pond that's disturbing the surface.

Marigold: [in Sylvan] Have I done something wrong?

Elifaen: [in Sylvan] No, you don't recognize me?

Marigold: [in Sylvan] Should I?

Elifaen: [in Sylvan] We'll talk later. I imagine this will take awhile.

Eudora: Eudora's just like looking back and forth between the two of them.

Moriarty (OOC): You know, this might as well happen. Adult life is already so goddamn weird.

Tark (OOC): Our life is already so goddamn weird.

Eudora: Marigold, you're doing it again.

Marigold: Doing what?

Hunt: Speaking Sylvan.

Marigold: Oh, sorry.

Gavel: What the fuck's a 'Sylvan'?

Moriarty: It's a fey language.

Gavel: Goddamn fey.

Tark: And Tark kind of nods like, 'Goddamn fey'

DM: Elifaen sort of frowns at you, but doesn't say anything.

DM: As you guys are leaving, we will hop over a little earlier this morning to Gavel. You arrived at the docks of Amberhelm on the wings of The Unsung, a small airship contracted by your order. You did not arrive alone,

Moriarty (OOC): [in chat] wait what

DM: With you are Elifaen Yllhana, a half-elf who like yourself is a member of The Bonded albeit with a different bond than your own and Kolmar Kaldi, an orc from The Changing.

Moriarty (OOC): [in chat] :|

DM: You have come knowing that the rogue members of both the Haunt and the Pack have been sighted in Thel and that an anonymous tip told you that Ulfric Ranulfr's ship was docked in Amberhelm.

Nathaniel (OOC): [in chat] OHOHO

DM: Sure enough as you pull in you see a magnificent ship with the name The Lone Wolf lettered on the side. You've docked your ship and the three of you have made your way over. There is a crew [something] frost off of the rigging and off of the sails.

Tark (OOC): [in chat] its newly painted

Moriarty (OOC): CONSEQUENCES

DM: It is newly painted, it is looking nice and you guys are able to walk up to the ship.

Gavel: Is anyone milling about the ship that's not...

Tark (OOC): [in chat] of our own actions? who would have thought

DM: Yeah, there's a light crew on the ship who are defrosting things, they're touching up the staining on the deck and everything.

Gavel: In that case, I look at the other two Blood Hunters with me and go, "Okay, who's going to draw straws? Who has to be the social one today?"

DM: They look at one another and then Elifaen sighs.

Elifaen: Alright, I'll do it.

Gavel: See, that's why I like you.

Elifaen: Yeah.

DM: She kind of straightens out her leather armor and starts to walk up the gangplank where there is a tall woman, a fire genasi, which is a rare species on the Prime Material, she's dressed practically and warmly as she notices you all starting to just walk onto her ship and comes over and stands at the top of the gangplank.

Rusla: Alright, can I help you?

Gavel: Hi, yes hello, we need to search the ship.

Rusla: For what purpose?

Gavel: Criminal activity.

Rusla: There's no criminal activity here.

Gavel: Well there was, that's why we're searching it.

Rusla: Not now. We are owned by The Elegant Rhistel Thefaren.

Gavel: I don't know who that is.

Rusla: Right, one moment.

DM: She calls over this half-orc and the other two and goes.

Rusla: Go and get Rhistel.

DM: And they kind of shoulder past you on the gangplank and run off.

DM: I will say as you guys get on the ship and you're hurrying back onto the Wolf, the Majesty is taking off and you can finally see it as it starts to lift over.

Marigold: Is it still attached in any way?

DM: No, they've pulled the lines up and starting to head out.

Gavel: It's time to go chasin'. Let's go.

Hunt: Time to take this to the skies.

DM: And everyone on the Wolf jumps into double-time and takes off. They are starting to head north...

Tark (OOC): How are in front of?

DM: They're a couple hundred feet?

Tark (OOC): Hang on, hang on, I wanna read...

Eudora (OOC): Couple hundred feet.

Tark (OOC): Like 300?

Gavel (OOC): You are not safe from Dimension Door.

DM: More like 5.

Tark (OOC): Okay, I'm just checkin'.

DM: Yep and outside of the city eventually as you guys are maybe a couple miles from the city, kind of out here in these plains, just past the edges of the lake, takes maybe two hours before finally The Majesty banks and comes and waits for you to come up along side it.

-various 'oh's-

Tark: Okay.

Gavel (OOC): Murder murder murder murder

Tark (OOC): Mur....murder.

DM & Tark (OOC): Judas, no.

DM: And so as you guys come along up side, the kobold is nowhere to be seen. As soon as you got back on the ship he went downstairs and is... But as you guys are there, you can see a couple of these pirates on deck watching you and stepping, as if she's emerging out from mid-air in this mistral form, Captain Calariel Rivaris or Captain Mendax appears like materializes and is standing in front of her crew as she crosses her arms as the Wolf comes alongside and goes,

Captain Rivaris: I take it you want to parlay?

Marigold: How far away is she?

DM: At this point about 100ft.

Marigold: Could I make her do an Intelligence saving throw?

Tark (OOC): Yes!

DM: You can indeed.

Gavel (OOC): 'Would you like to talk?' 'So I start blasting'

DM: What is your save on that?

Marigold (OOC): It's a 15.

DM: She just makes it.

Nathaniel (OOC): No.

Eudora (OOC): How far away is she now?

DM: 100ft.

Eudora (OOC): Okay, I mean, I could shoot her.

DM: You could.

Tark (OOC): She called parlay guys.

Hunt: She wants to talk.

Gavel: Guys, guys...

Eudora: I'm not gonna shoot yet. I'm just sayin' that I could if the need arises.

Tark: She called parlay.

Gavel: It's only gentleman-like to parlay, even if the parlay option is 'Get on the boat. Get what's owed to me and I don't break your arms.' but still, it's a parlay.

Tark: Parlay. Let's parlay.

DM: Seeing that Rusla will go,

Rusla: Right, we'll parlay.

DM: And will bring the ships up side by side and that's where we'll, as the Majesty grabs a gangplank and puts it between your ships and Calariel starts to step on and that is where we will pause and pick up next time.

Eudora: We have to move it people!

Hunt: We gotta go! We gotta go!

Nathaniel: I'm following.

Hunt: I'm going.

Gavel: "You've been very helpful." I kind of just drop him.

Kobold: Ow, god. Okay.

Hunt (OOC): He's still tied up.

Kobold: Can you maybe...?

Tark: Tark's just gonna leave him there.

Kobold: Are you guys...?

Gavel: Dislocate your shoulder, you'll squirm free.

Kobold: cool.

Marigold: I'm not. I'm gonna untie him.

Eudora: If you want a better boss, follow us.

Tark (OOC): Yes!

DM: He's skeptical about that but is going to follow you. I mean, you didn't kill him.

Nathaniel (OOC): You know what, I can't wait to show up at the manor, hold up this kobold to Rhistel and go, "Can we keep him?"

Eudora (OOC): We're adopting another villain.

DM: Nope, nope, we're not allowed to bring home NPCs anymore.

Tark (OOC): Nope, bringing him home. Bringing him home!

Gavel (OOC): Don't worry, I'll take him home.

Tark (OOC): No no no.

Hunt (OOC): No, we wanna take him home.

Kobold: I don't have to go home with either of you. What do you do for work?

Tark (OOC): We're retrievers for Their Elegance and we're just bringing home these people.

Gavel: They're adventurers and I kill ghosts.

Kobold: I wanna help you out man. That sounds great.

Gavel: I know, right?

DM: Tark kicks the sewer water and the kobold sputters awake.

Kobold: Oh god.

Gavel (OOC): Do kobolds have tails in your world?

DM: Yeah.

Tark (OOC): Yes.

Gavel: Can I grab it by its tail and dangle it upside-down?

Kobold: *whines* What? What? Oh my god!

Gavel: Hi, we're looking for someone. Could you help us?

Kobold: I don't know anybody. I've literally never met anyone in my life.

Tark: Tark leans forward, "I think you just met us."

Kobold: It's so nice to meet you.

Tark: Aww, you're so cute.

Gavel: Look, this is very simple; I don't care about you, I don't.

Kobold: Great, you should just let me leave then.

Hunt: Oh nononono.

Kobold: You don't even care, so why bother with me?

Gavel: But you do know someone that I care about.

Kobold: I told-- I don't-- I know all of you, I'm sure you care about each other immensely.

Gavel: Oh, I just met these people four days ago.

Kobold: Okay, cool.

Gavel: Do you know an elf? Dark hair, gold glasses.

Kobold: That one right there, but he doesn't have glasses, but he's got dark hair.

Gavel: That's the wrong answer.

Kobold: What? No, 'cause that's the only elf I've ever met, we had this conversation.

Hunt: Then who was this 'Captain' that you were trying to call for?

Kobold: What?

Gavel: Oh?

Hunt: Oh no no, hon, don't play dumb. I was there.

Kobold: I'm not playing, I'm really stupid.

Gavel: Be that as it may, look, I don't how to phrase this to you; I don't want to kill you, I will and there is a possiblity that I can eat you after.

-various concerned sounds-

Kobold: How would you--- How would you kill me?

Gavel: Probably the eating.

Tark: that's a really weird question.

Kolbold: Hang on, look okay, my captain will turn me into boots before she kills me if I say anything, so I'm really, if you want to kill me then eat me that's, honestly the better alternative.

Gavel: Well, what if I turn her into boots?

Kobold: I wouldn't do that.

Gavel: And why not?

Kobold: Because she... Oh god, you do not want to fuck with her. Please.

Gavel: Look, she has something that belongs to me.

Kobold: She's got a lot of things that belong to a lot of people, that's kind of the whole thing, we're pirates.

Gavel: How do we want to wake him up?

Tark: "Just pour water on his face." I'm gonna get some gross sewer water.

Hunt (OOC): oh god.

Tark: And kick it in his face.

Nathaniel (OOC): I'm surprised to be honest.

Tark: No, I kicked it into his face.

Eudora: I'd like to look around and see if I see any signs of it having friend.

Hunt: He was trying to call for the captain.

DM: Yeah, go ahead and make perception.

Tark: Can I?

DM: No Tark, you're busy with the kobold.

Eudora: 14.

DM: You look around and don't see anyone coming to its aid. You see someone walk into the alleyway, see what's going on and just keeps walking. Just a quiet 'Nah' and they just keep going. He didn't see anything.

Gavel (OOC): 'I don't see anything, I'm blind.'

Eudora: That kind of city.

DM: It's that kind of city.

Gavel: This is an absoultely addled idea; I'm going to run towards the back door. Is there a cup, or a mug, or a bottle as I

DM: Oh yeah, you're gonna have to go past the storage of racks, so you can grab...

Nathaniel: Swan?

DM: Yes?

Nathaniel: Can you let me know when I can see the kobold within 60ft of me?

DM: I will.

Nathaniel: Thank you.

Gavel: As I'm running, I'll grab a bottle or something and I am going to, if I can get outside and can see the kobold I'm gonna try and throw it at them.

DM: Okay. I'm gonna say you get there first 'cause I'm gonna assume you go over the bar.

Gavel: I still have Freedom of Movement.

DM: So easy, you go over the bar, grab a bottle and head out. I'll say, as the others are coming around the sides of the building you can make your attack.

Gavel: Okay.

DM: Are you proficient with improvised weapons?

Gavel: No, just straight strength.

DM: Hell yeah.

Gavel: For an 18.

DM: Yeah, you clock this thing on the back of the head. Go ahead an roll 1d4.

Gavel: 3 plus Strength so 7?

DM: Oh yeah, this fucking thing just wipes out.

Gavel: Oh, okay.

Nathaniel: I didn't have to do a thing.

Gavel: 'Cause I had Brand of Castigation, it does damage to it.

DM: Oh, it did damage. It's on the ground bleeding.

Hunt: I go to this thing and restrain it. I take out some rope.

DM: Okay, it is dying.

Hunt: Oh, can I cast... Wait, it is actively dying like 0 hit points?

DM: Yeah, yeah it is.

Hunt: I cast Spare the Dying on it.

DM: Kobolds have 5 hit points.