#One of my favorite episodes is The Rashomon Job so if you've seen that episode | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

that-storming-writer · 2 years

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Music Box Mayhem

Thief had waited all night for this moment. Hours of servicing the entitled elite, trying to avoid the watchful gaze of Supervillain's henchmen was finally paying off. The bejeweled lid of the Ophidian Music Box glistened in the pale moonlight, peering through the thick curtains. It sat on a red velvet pillow--which complimented its beauty--in the display closest to the office desk. This would likely be their most successful heist; assuming, of course, they could make it off the grounds of Supervillain's manor. Between security, the guests, and Supervillain themself, it wouldn't be an easy escape. They could worry about that later. Thief reached for the box--

The door handle jiggled. Thief dove behind the desk, shrinking into a tight ball as warm light bathed the room. The door quickly shut with a soft click--only one person had entered. The newcomer shuffled through the room as Thief crawled to the other side of the desk. As long as it wasn't Supervillain or their right hand, they would be easy to take out. Thief peeked from their hiding spot and... Came face-to-face with Hero?

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Hero froze, hands hovering over the sides of the box as he looked down at Thief.

"What am I doing here? What are you doing here?"

"I'm getting the Ophidian Music Box, obviously. Why else would I be here?"

"I should've known," he said with a disapproving shake of his head. "Of course you want to get your grubby little paws on the music box. I imagine you're going to sell it off instead--"

"Oh shut it with your self-righteous garbage. I'm going to sell it because I like money. And a good reputation. And stealing is fun. Now if you excuse me, I'm just gonna grab it and be on my way." Thief stepped forward, reaching for the music box. Hero sprung between the artifact and the thief, earning a glare from the criminal. "I was here first, so I get to keep it."

"That's not how it works! It should be returned to the museum for everyone to see--not locked away in some rich guy's vault!"

"Okay? How does that effect me? Honestly, I'm impressed your girlfriend tolerates you. You're such a nag. And you're dull."

"Girlfriend?"

"Uh yeah, Villain obviously."

"I'm not a dull nag," Hero grumbled as his ears reddened. "And-and Villain isn't my girlfriend! She's my enemy."

Thief snorted, giving him a pat on the arm. "Sure, buddy."

"Why do you insist on provoking me? All I want to do is return the music box to its rightful place." Hero sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I don't want to fight with you, Thief. If we set aside our differences and take the music box back together, we can both get what we want: your reputation as a good thief and the artifact in its rightful place." Hero offered his hand. "What do you say?"

Thief blinked at Hero, looking from his hand to the music box and back again. "You really think--"

The door handle twisted.

"Hide," Thief hissed. Hero pounced behind the desk as Thief sandwiched themself flat between a couch and coffee table. It wasn't the best hiding place in the world, but it was better than being in the open. Thief heard a single pair of footsteps stride through the room, pausing near the desk. How to get the music box and escape? The thief considered their options.

They could draw attention to the desk and slip behind the newcomer, grabbing the Ophidian Music Box. Hero would be stuck dealing with them, the other person would be distracted, and Thief could flee with their prize. It was risky--especially if the newcomer had powers--but with Hero there, perhaps that wasn't too much of a concern. He had powers and was harebrained enough to protect them.

Thief snaked forward to get a better look at who they were dealing with. They chanced a look over the table... And found Villain standing before the artifact.

"Seriously?! You're here too?!" Villain twirled around, her dress flowing with the movement. Just like every other outfit at the party, it was gaudy and flamboyant, impractical for a heist. Thief jumped to their feet and glared at the villain. She offered a genuine smile. The audacity.

"My dear, Thief! I didn't expect to see you here tonight. Though now that I have, I should've expected someone with your ambitions to be lurking around."

"What are you doing here?"

"You're always a nosey one," Villain hummed. "If you must know, this fine box will look great in my bedroom. I need something new to hold all my jewelry, and what better thing than the Ophidian Music Box? Now I'm tempted to ask you the same question, but I'm more interested to know who's hiding in here with you." Hero sheepishly emerged from behind the desk, blushing more than before.

"H-hey, Villain." Villain looked Hero up and down. He blushed harder.

"Hello, darling Hero. I didn't expect you here, either. I'm not one to complain though, you certainly clean up nicely," she purred. The hero-in-denial swallowed thickly while Thief gagged.

"First you ruin my plans, and now you're subjecting me to your flirting? At least be decent enough to wait until I'm out of the room."

"Don't be so grumpy. I haven't seen my lovely Hero in a while, and I should be allowed to chat with him. However, I am curious about these plans of yours. They don't have anything to do with my box, do they?"

"My plans are called none of your business. Now if you excuse me, I would like to get what I came here for and be on my way." Thief reached for the box again only for Villain to slap their hand away.

"The box needs to go back to the museum." Hero finally regained his voice. Both criminals stared at him. "Please, let me take it back where it belongs." Villain pouted and walked up to the hero, leaving Thief to roll their eyes. Of all the heroes and villains in the city, why did they have to get stuck with these two?

"But Hero, don't you think it'd look great in my room?"

"I-I don't know, I've nev-never seen your room."

"Oh right, that's truly a shame. Perhaps we should fix that." Villain punctuated her point with a wink. That was all it took to reduce Hero into a blushing mess and leave Thief to bury their face in their hands.

"You two are so embarrassing. How can you say the things you say and still show your faces in public? Actually, I don't care. I came here for the box, not to watch the two of you do...whatever this is." They gestured vaguely to the pair as they stalked to their prize.

"Not so fast," Villain tsked. An invisible force pushed against the thief. Not hard enough to knock them over, but enough to keep them away from reaching their goal. Again. "Who said you get to have the music box? Why do you think you deserve it more than myself, or even Hero?"

Thief glared. "I can give you an alphabetical list of reasons why I--"

The door handle turned.

"Hide." Villain pulled Hero behind the curtains as Thief ducked around a neighboring display. Just as before, only a single person entered the room. Dressed in a security guard uniform, they headed straight for the Ophidian Music Box. Thief studied the newcomer. They should be easy to take out as a low-level security guard who was probably sent to... It was Vigilante. Because of course it was Vigilante!

"You have got to be kidding me. At this rate, I'm going to throw myself out the window." Vigilante jumped as the criminal emerged from the darkness, muttering a string of swears under their breath. "I can't have nice things, can I? You people are just determined to ruin my night!"

"It's good to see you too, Thief," Vigilante said flatly.

"Save your pleasantries. I'm not in the mood for idle chitchat."

"You're never in the mood for idle chitchat."

"Who asked you anyway?" They grumbled, turning to the window. "You two can come out now. Unless you're being weird, in which case spare us and stay behind the curtains." The pair came shuffling out a moment later, Villain smiling and Hero hopelessly red. Throwing themself out the window was becoming more desirable by the second. It was almost worth leaving the box behind. Almost.

"Why are you here, Vigilante?" Villain asked, sitting herself on Supervillain's desk.

"I have a feeling I'm here for the same reason as the rest of you. Does the Ophidian Music Box ring a bell?"

Thief groaned, dramatically throwing back their head. "Of course your here for the box. Why wouldn't you be here for it?"

"What do you plan on doing with it?" Hero asked.

"I'm giving it to the museum. But only if they pay me, otherwise I'll keep it."

"You're ransoming it to the museum?!"

"When you put it that way, it sounds bad."

"That's because it is bad. You can't ransom the box to the museum, it belongs to them!"

Vigilante shrugged. "It's no different than what you're doing. I'm just getting money for it."

"Now Vigilante," Villain interjected, "I can appreciate a good hustle. You're plan actually isn't bad, but I think you should sit this one out. There's already three of us who want the box, adding you into the mix makes it more complicated."

"I hate to agree with her, but she's right," Thief mumbled. "I already have to deal with these two, I do not need to deal with you too."

Vigilante gasped, slapping a hand over their chest in mock offense. "That really hurts, Thief. I thought we were friends. I mean, we're not so different you and I."

"And that is exactly why we're not friends. You go around saying things like that."

"Come on now, you know I'm not--"

"Alright, that's enough." Hero stepped between the pair, and made an effort to look at everyone. Despite his best attempt to mask his feelings, Thief noticed a hint of irritation in his eyes. Mr. Goodytwoshoes could get annoyed if they pressed hard enough. "Clearly we're getting nowhere by arguing about the Ophidian Music Box. We all want it for one reason or another, but no one is going to get it if we continue to bicker. So, let's talk this out. We'll each present a case for why we want the music box, and then we can decide who gets it."

"I can see what you're trying to do, darling, but diplomacy isn't going to get us far. We all came for the music box, and I doubt any of us are willing to leave without it," Villain pointed out.

"I have to agree with Villain," Vigilante hummed, "which is exactly why I'll just take the music box off your hands. You can thank me later." Before Thief could protest, Hero put himself between the artifact and Vigilante. They eyed each other, waiting for the other to make the first move. Villain rolled her eyes with a scoff, slipping off the desk and prowling toward the bickering crime-stoppers.

"Like he said, we're getting nowhere like this. Just let me take it and we can all go home for the night. Except for you, Hero. You can come home with me, if you'd like." That earned yet another blush from the hero and a long sigh from Thief.

"Great. He's definiently going to side with you on the matter because of your manipulation."

"She-she's not manipulating me!"

"I'm not manipulating him," Villain echoed. "Though I'm curious to know why you're trying to turn us against each other. It does conviently work in your favor if the two of us fight."

"Oh no, you don't get to accuse me of manipulating him."

The three of them were arguing. Well, it was more like Villain and Vigilante were arguing while Hero tried to keep the already shaky peace. Thief tuned them out. The others left Thief forgotten and the box open for the taking. They had one shot to claim their prize and make a run for it. They would make it good.

Thief snatched the music box and made a break for the door, failing to notice the handle fidgeting again.

Supervillain entered their office, taking a step back as they took in the sight. They looked from Villain to Hero to Vigilante before their eyes finally settled on Thief and the Ophidian Music Box. Shutting the door behind them, they leaned against it and smiled.

"Now what do we have here?"

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This thing is 2125 words long. I thought it would maybe be around 1500 words, but apparently not. I'm never writing again. I'm kidding, but wow this is the longest snippet I've written. And I've only written five. Anyway, there's probably some mistakes. I wrote and finished this all on my phone, so I might go and edit it when I have access to a computer. Hope you enjoy.

#thief #hero x villain #heroes and villains #heroes and villains community #I've been rewatching Leverage #One of my favorite episodes is The Rashomon Job so if you've seen that episode #you can tell this snippet is inspired (arguably heavily) by that #poor thief #they can't catch a break #all they wanted was to get money #instead they're stuck with three people after the same thing they are #Also I didn't intend for the hero x villain stuff to be so overt #I wanted to simply imply it #but that clearly didn't go as planned #Alternative titles include: The Turning of the Handle #Thief Can't Catch a Break #and The Music Box Job

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