do you know what's so sick. did you have anything to do with Paul's death no no I'd never hurt your brother Louis never, is, I just realized, such a clear set up for another conversation that is going to happen. with. armand.
a tw for animal violence and also mentions of blood and medical talk and injuries (nothing actually too graphic of an attack but it warrants mention)
basically when I was 6 years old in the first grade the school was holding a spelling bee for each grade and they would pick two kids per class a boy and a girl and I got picked because I'm really good at spelling and the bee was the next day so I went home and I went to my pet dog who was a large american bulldog and tried to ride her like a horse and everytime she did she'd get up and move
I eventually cornered her to my parents' bedroom door at the end of the hallway which prompted her to then bark at me. I closed my eyes and when I opened them I was suddenly covered with blood and, understandably, screamed. my parents opened the door to the scene and FREAKED OUT
what I think happened is she didn't bite me, but she got too close barking and grazed her teeth and they were really sharp and my skin was thin where I was bleeding
so while my mom put our dog outside my dad drove me to the ER and had me hold a rag up to my bleeding face. my outfit was undeniably ruined and I was really sad about it even moreso than the fact I was gushing blood from my face
we get there and I'm just sitting in the ER kicking legs and saying hi to people bleeding into a rag
eventually we get in and a doctor helps us. good news is it's not bad enough for stitches. bad news it does need to be superglued
so the doctor haphazardly hovered the superglue packet above my face. the scratches were on my left of my nose bridge and my right temple. he goes for the nose and then... drifts over... and then drops a glob of glue onto my left eye and because I automatically shut my eye it meant my eyelashes and part of my eyelids got superglued together
that was bad enough right. but then he goes over to glue the wound on my right temple. and then... drifts... over... again... and bam a glob of glue to my right eye and now my eyes are stuck in a PERPETUAL SQUINT where everything is too fucking blurry to see and also like 95% of my vision is blocked anyways
according to my dad the doctor said "oh my god are you ok?" and me being a bitch even at age 6 said "I was doing pretty good until you glued my eyes shut"
so he patches me up and now I'm not bleeding but now I'm blind as fuck. they give us a solvent to dissolve the glue but it takes 3 weeks to work all the way so my vision is shot for reading and navigating independently
but then I remembered oh no. the spelling bee is tomorrow. and my stubborn prideful ass was not gonna let the replacement girl take my spot.
my mom asks if I want to go. I say yes
so another problem: they didn't properly clean my wound. so it got infected and swelled up. so basically my face was purple and bruised and I looked like I was in a boxing match. I still insist to go. I walked up on a stage of all my peers and performed.
I managed to make it to 4th place. I was spelling large words for my age Really well but then I heard the word "pretty" and went "pfft this is easy" and then rushed it and spelled it with one t
after I got out my dad asked if I wanted to get ice cream and we got mcdonalds soft serve. for the next few weeks it honestly hurt less to open my eyes so I learned to navigate my house blindly and by touch and I was excused from school for a bit and then for the time where I could open my eyes but it was still blurry I had no assignments and just colored
it’s a good thing you’re so patient. you know what it’s like to feel the full weight of doubt bearing down in you. for years, it tried to squeeze the life from your lungs. but nothing’s going to make you bow. you kept the candle’s flame alive. you whispered the names at nightfall. the vigil still lives inside of you. one day, the waiting will have been worth it. all your love is going to come home to you. you’re more important than you know. you’re still the one true believer.
tagged by: @yunharlaquin :*
tagging: anyone that wants to do this!