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pinksweatergettingbetter · 7 years

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what the... fuck?

yet again we start off with a cutscene that looks like its from a completely different game... or low quality anime

...why are we starting off in court

“who brings a defendant to his own trial late”

why... is this sentence not processing

for the life of me i have no idea what that means;

simon: you can just SCARE the judge into not giving a fuck about shit like being late, or threatening people under the guise of clever psychological manipulation!

also hi again simon

are you ready to be fun and likeable and not awful ?? I'm excited!

“i wish he'd stop treating me like a child all the time”

hey, old habits die hard.

simons already doing well by being an overprotective dork... so far so good. dont disappoint me, samurai.

our defendant is drunk

we’re off to an excellent start!

what... accent is this...

oh its drunkinese ok

“three sheets to the wind”

ive never heard that one

maybe they can get away with having a drunk guy but they cant actually say drunk?

somebody get this guy some raw eggs and hotsauce??

wow hes drunk enough to be close to vomiting? he’s not acting hungover so I'm assuming that he’s been drinking up till now. and simon was last with him, so...

yeah I'm blaming simon for this

“ive known athena longer than ive known bucky”

“ive frequented his soba restaurant”

contradiction! simon was in jail up until very recently, and knew Athena for a very short period of time during her childhood. unless he met Bucky right after taking care of athena, it’s not possible that he’s known her longer. that or i guess he could just walk right out of jail to get noodles.

“meat slapped between slabs of bread...”

oh no ya dont, translation team. you made your burger bed, now you have to lie in it. no mocking the joke now.

quit being so tsundere simon. and yes I'm giving you the luxury of being tsundere and not just an asshole who’d prefer the company of men he once tried to cut to ribbons just because Athena’s a girl. because I'm in a good mood today!

a) scariest ringtone to date

b) he runs that place alone?? sucks to be buck

please stop doing the vomit animation its making me uncomfortable

“this is no time for idle chatter”

oh simon, you obviously dont know what a chekov’s... um, conversation is.

wow so not only are we starting in the court room, but Sadmad said his prayers already. This is shaping up to be a rushed case.

...because obviously this is just filler before we get back to the Oh-So Delightful Adventures in Lawyer Land

edgeworth called him back for this case?? ...why???

Sadmad: I could be less horrible now that I owe the WAA a favourOR I could threaten to send a young lady to hell for just doing her job!!!! GO SADMAD, GO SADMAD

...dont call her a spring chick.

wait wait MAY 12TH?!

They just finished Maya’s trial and Edgeworth hauls Sadmad back to America over night?? How the fuck does Sadmad think he’s more prepared than us?? He had about the same amount of time to prepare!

I’ve got a good feeling about this case

Sadmad just let that poor butterfly rest jfc the aesthetic isn't that important

“this guy stole the deed to this other guys shop, so other guy KILLED HIM to get it back”

yes, brilliant deduction, not an overreaction at all

Sadmad, you literally got back here at like 1 am last night. Go fuck yourself and leave Athena alone.

So Apollo’s a red pepper, Athena’s an egg yolk... But there aren’t any blue foods, so Phoenix is just stuck being called ‘putrid’ in general.

Anyway cut Athena some slack. She’s already progressed far beyond having a breakdown in court because someone talked over her.

SEXY PAN UP SHOT FOR SIMON BLACKQUILL,

“Simon!! You didnt tell me you were taking the stand!!!”

“There wasn’t time...”

no time at all during that 5 minutes you spent in the lobby. But I'm laughin’ so I’m not judging. Also I missed that theme...

AW YIS

THROW DOWN SIMON

he’s the lesser of two evils this time; I'm ready to back him up! Simon in the blue corner, ding ding!!!!

half-awake sadmad looks up “rakugo” on wikipedia at 3 am

“yeah that should do it”

...and memorizes the whole article apparently

(coughmartystucough)

Sadmad: No wasting time!! This soul must get to the afterlife post-haste! You’re all putrid lumps of fecal matter for putting off the last ri–– wait, an opportunity to gloat?! Hold onto your hats, baby! The next twenty minutes are mine!!!

(weeps) thank you Athena

simon will remember this (you blackguard)

sexy pan up shot for–– oh, it really is a “sexy” pan up shot this time

except for those... soulless eyes...

aw nuts she has that drone-y X people theme.

OH GOD

OH GOD YOUR BOOBS

THAT WOULD HURT SO FUCKING MUCH

IM CLUTCHING MY CHEST JUST THINKING ABOUT IT

but I'm also chortling at the booby jokes teehee

“Never show sadness! Smile, smile, smile! With a twisty-twist-twist!”

Hey, it’s the new motto of ace attorney! Your self worth is based solely on how well you can cover up your less palatable feelings! Yaaaay!!

...also I’m calling it now, she did it.

i think her balloons are pretty impressive, athena

420 WE GOT ONE FOLKS

“Sad Monk Sadmahdi”

simon, youre gaining brownie points fast

Lang Zi says... Oh, uh I mean, the Kooraheenist Bible says......

“I’m checking in with the big tough old man prosecutor because i underestimate this small, young, female defence attorney”

I'm getting flashbacks to Turnabout Beginnings. and not good ones.

You kick it, girl. tell them off.

nice! the judge is on our side!

why did she mention the dog barking a lot if it was only because he was hungry?

that is one hongry dog

something about the dog just burying the rest of the food is making me laugh

oh so that was important eh

hmm

has athena always done this double-slam thing, or is this new?

Athena: Witness, I think you might’ve been lying a little bit

Sadmad: Vile hitler-satan, I cast you down to hell for your debauchery, how dare you insinuate that this case has more to it than what is readily viewable on the surface? Tsk tsk, so inexperienced, so putrid,

“What? The gallery doesn’t get a say in this!”

They’re not a jury, you know!!!

“Why is the whole gallery siding with prosecutor sadmadhi?”

it’s because he’s hot, athena. thats the only reason anybody likes him.

tbh I'm actually pretty proud of Athena

same time last year Sadmad would have put her in a panic-stupor. but not today. Kudos on working that out, kiddo. You’re moving up!

...wait a minute

“with a little push, you could succumb to despair”

>despair

does Sadmad know? Does he know about her PTSD? If so... He’s deliberately TRYING TO TRIGGER HER SO THAT HE CAN WIN THE CASE?!

WHAT THE FUCK

oh boy!! OH BOY!! a dying message!!! THOSE ARE FOOL PROOF, AS PROVED BY EVERY SINGLE CASE IN THIS SERIES TO CONTAIN ONE!!

“That makes perfect sense, doesn't it!”

Yes... the man who suffocated to death somehow had time to leave a clue to his killer...

...you do realize that to be suffocated, the killer has to be there the whole time, right? if there’s nothing in his lungs and no trace of poison in his stomach, then it has to have been manual suffocation, either by strangulation (though we have yet to hear about any marks on his neck) or by covering his mouth and nose.

so youre implying that rather than fighting back, the old coot rearranged a bunch of playing cards... in plain view of his aggressor

yet again, Sadmad makes a brilliant fool proof deduction.

ohhh my god he’s still trying to do it. HE’S STILL TRYING TO TRIGGER HER. I SWEAR TO FUCK, he’s been tolerable–– very thinly tolerable up until now. But this is just disgusting. This is brazen, malicious cheating. I don’t care if he turns out to be jesus himself when the inevitable “urhurhur he was good all along!!” twist shows up; I’m not forgetting this.

Damnit , Athena, don’t fucking listen to him. Don’t listen to a word he fuckin says.

Man I’ve never been so happy to see Simon. Little bit of the pot-calling-the-kettle-black here since Simon’s MO is to threaten and manipulate–– err, ah, use psychology!! to influence people, but I hate Sadmad so much that I don’t care.

“To think, you were so easily manipulated by his parlour tricks...”

Watch it, Simon. You’re the lesser of two evils this time, but that doesn’t exempt you from criticism. As a psychologist, you should know WHY it worked so well on Athena and you should be SENSITIVE about it.

You’re cleared of all charges, remember?? You don’t have to pretend to be a douchebag to keep up your ill-thought-out plan anymore.

“I’m not girding up anything in this skirt!”

well i just don't know what to say to that

Oh boy here comes Uendo.

Everyone seems to love him so I’m hoping he’ll be a reprieve from Sadmad’s......... everything

Sexy pan up shot of... a guy on a bunch of flower bags. With his own theme song!

so far I'm loving his animations and I'm always a slut for shitty puns!!

let’s see... blush stickers for the goofy one, hair forwards and eyeshadow for the lady. Clever little things that make each one of his characters different. He's definitely a fun character so far!

ah I'm really enjoying his dialogue

ill bet the translators had a ball with this

won't you PLEASE laugh at my PUN!!!

its ok uendy, i thought it was good.

“Silence is more precious than diamonds”, eh?

I can definitely see which Sadmad values more...

ooh a spit take! not since godot have we been blessed... also i notice they've dialled up the rock guitar in Athena’s theme. Personally don’t see it as an improvement but eh

“yes, making it look like the man drowned was obviously because the culprit hated him and wanted to desecrate his corpse instead of getting the fuck out of there quicker like any killer would”

not to make it look like

he’d drowned in the bowl

to throw off the police.

of course not; that’d be too obvious.

another win for the great Sadlock Madholmes.

wait did Sadmad just say Objection?? I thought he didnt do that

also; duel of the growly voices

prosecutor sad monk. simon’s still a dick but at least his dickishness spreads to people i dont like :3

ooh i love it when i can rearrange physical pictures

“you can put the cards back in their right place but if you cant explain them then youre fucked”

ever thought that maybe theyre irrelevant to the case and theyre just... cards?? sadmad??

i mean i know theyre not but they could easily have just been on the table when the murder happened. they could stand for absolutely nothing.

ahh... the sweet refreshing scent of common sense. you redeem yourself step by step, simon. i mean, when youre not being a dick about it.

“don’t testify.”

franziska tried this once. it was for an evil scheme. i dont want to have to threaten another witness with revealing a dark secret; that was depressing.

but at least we know meanwhile that Sadmad isn’t above dirty shit like shutting up a witness. .......not that we didnt know that before.......

“Are you trying to taunt him into talking? Such a petty trick will never work”

POT.

CALLING.

THE KETTLE.

JET BLACK, SADFUCK.

simon’s lucky he’s surrounded by idiots and people with poor impulse control, otherwise his “mind tricks” wouldn’t do shit

“to be turned by such an obvious ploy... what a man of weak spirit.”

for once, Sadmad, I gotta agree.

its time for

Artistic!

License!

Psychologyyyyyyyyy!!!!

sadmad doesn't get his way: my god will smite you later :(((((

now that we’ve worn this non-joke out...

“seeing my master asleep just made me so fuckin sad...”

i love that anger has such a distinctive ping sound

please do not call your toe that

“You gotta fuss over every tiny detail like this?” yes, Uendo. That’s why I’m writing these !!

that box of buns keeps drawing my attention. i love buns

Simon, you could try using some positive reinforcement. Mia wasn’t soft on Phoenix, but she encouraged him to think and puzzle things out for himself; she didn’t just call him an idiot. All the time.

“as sharp as a trout”

what the fuck

“so thats how it works ! fascinating!”

its not like i spent a lot of time working under the woman who invented said matrix!

its kinda sad that Athena’s never seen multiple emotions in high dudgeon

she must hang out with a lot of mild mannered people

athena: ive just proved these words mean something detrimental to the witness

sadmad: erm but they mean nothing to me therefor they warrant no further investigation.

???

i stg most of Nahyuta’s “”””counter argumnets”””” are legitimately just him trying to disparage the obvious contradiction away.

again athena seems unable to believe that people can only feel one intense emotion at a time

should i be worried

silly AA, that’s not how DID works!

oh well, at least Uendo is the fun kind of DID, unlike other... side-splittingly shameful characters I could mention...

Pohlfuckya indeed sadmad

ROLE CALL

“You seem proud of yourself, but all youve done is infringe on the privacy of the witness”

(sweats) i hate it when Sadmad makes good points

its not really dissociative if you dont... um... dissociate.

Sadmad: let it go and––

Athena: Shut up!!

Sadmad: Let it g––

Athena: Sssh!!!

Sadmad: le––

Athena: SJSJSJSJ

“if words will not sway you, perhaps pain will”

eject

him

i dont... like that... the beads are around her torso.......

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HE FUCKIN CUT THEM IN MID AIR

that deserves a fucking cutscene all on its own. its like the time Lang caught Franziska’s whip only cool and not bulshitty

...also you coulda maybe done that a lil earlier simon lol

“I dont give two flips”

all his flips have flown the coop

“but if Cykes dono were to submit to you here...”

DO NOT

USE THE WORD SUBMIT

WHEN PRAYER BEAD BONDAGE IS INVOLVED

fuck you sadmad, not everyone has magic gary-stu powers that let them memorize everything about a single subject in one night.

once again sadmad wastes precious time and diamonds showing off

after this lengthy, lengthy, leeeeeengthy detour............ wouldyouliketoaddthisstatementtothetestimony?

“you look like a hen with a dozen eggs to say”

you can just say “constipated” and it'll be less creepy, simon

how could they... not tell... oh who cares

“we’ve got you by the stones now, Uendo!”

DAMN the TESTICLE references in this game!!!

“heres a big plot twist that i just convenientlyforgottomention urhurhurhr..”

spoken like a true prosecutor

there was such a long pause there i thought he was building up to a pun

but of course he wasnt. sadmad isn't cool at all

heheh i just noticed that Bucky has hair noodles, just like Mr. Eldoon (tho Bucky’s dont appear to be a wig)

also its... very distressing to have a drunk client.

y’know i just realized

Sadmad is always talking about sending souls to the twilight realm in the proper way. but he's an international prosecutor. he’s probably prosecuted victims of all religious alignments.

isn't it kind of disrespectful to perform your religion’s funeral rites on someone who doesn’t practice it???

again, BK is only successful because Uendo is a moron

to be fair though, that was one of his better ones.

“You were leading the witness!”

I...

Just, fuckin’. Please stop making good points, sadmad. I don’t want to be enraged with you, I want to be enraged AT You!!

...well i mean I don’t want to but i hate it when you bring up excellent points.

anyway why doesn't sadmad want them to find Owen anyway. if it comes to nothing, who cares? can you just not stand having people who aren’t you waste time??

again... DID doesn’t work like that........

macbeth, starring athena cykes and simon blackquill

hey i jusT REALIZED WHERE’S TAKA

thats,,, reallllllyy not how DID works,,,,,,,,,,,,,

highfalutin’

“if you see one, there are likely thirty in your home’

thirty what

WTHIRTY WHAT

look if you knew how DID is supposed to work you'd probably have a good hypothesis by now. not an... ethical one to implement, but a working one.

i guess Uendo just never sleeps then, because apparently falling unconscious calls out another personality.

...brilliant.

Simon: STOP BEING SO NERVOUS. IS MY NAGGING AND DISAPPOINTMENT SOOTHING YOU???? IS IT?????!!!!

the time honoured tradition of turning a slip of paper over... truly, this is an Ace Attorney game

dude.... if you conk out from the trace amounts of alcohol in a bun, you should maybe visit a doctor possibly

“hmm, yes, i will allow you to render this man unconscious from alcohol.”

classic judge!!

au where blackqyil is a very angsty delivery boy

BABY

THERE HE IS

MY PRECIOUS BIRD

I WAS SO SCARED SOEMTHING HAD HAPPENED TO YOU

...that bird is going to fly into a shop, terrorize the workers, steal bean buns and (hopefully) drop a twenty on the counter as he flies the coop

awesome

phew that was a long court... but wait if this is a half-episode (which it probably is) and it started on a court day...

no investigation?! RIP OFF

gonna cut this one off here. till next time...

#sulking over SOJ #soj spoilers #soj spoilers obvs]

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mrss-whenfithitstheshan-blog · 5 years

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Photo by Elena Koycheva on Unsplash

This post may contain advertisements and/or links for products and services that I value. I offer recommendations to products and/or services that I find helpful in my own life as a mom. I may receive a commission based on viewer purchases or interactions with these ads. You will NOT be charged any extra money. All prices will stay the same for you whether your purchase items/services through links found on this site or not!

Updated 2/13/2019

Hey Parents,

Did you ever notice that the concept of time is really tough for kids to understand– all the way from birth up until they are like 7 or 8?

It’s a real problem, because we use time to manage everything in our lives!

When to wake up,

when to go to daycare or the babysitter’s,

when to the store,

when to eat,

when to nap,

when we come home from work,

when to celebrate holidays,

when to go to parties,

when to take a bath,

when to go to bed….

And through all this, our poor children don’t even know what we’re talking about when we say, “We will get to have bath time at 7 o’clock. Please wait til then.”

How can we help kids understand what’s coming next in the day?

It’s no fun to be thrown into things without any warning or understanding. What would that feel like to have NO IDEA what is going to happen next until someone else decided for you? And you HAD to do it??

I would throw a fit too!

Subscribe today to receive your FREE Guide!

Case in point-

I was feeling so sad for my poor daughter the other day. She was getting so frustrated because she couldn’t understand why it wasn’t time to eat dinner.

Having a family dinner is very important to us, so I was hoping she would wait until dad got home from work. We do this every day, but those last 15 minutes are always a battle!

There’s got to be a way to fix it. I’m done fighting this every single day!

I did what every mom does- I complained to my friends about our problems. My awesome sister-in-law Monica (an amazing mother of four who I really look up to) gave me the best idea!

She said that she had heard of a tool that you can make at home, DIY, for less than $20 that will help children better understand time and routines.

Ummm…. YES PLEASE!!!

I took her suggestions and added my own twists. I call it our “Routine Clock.”

I’m focusing on two parts of our daily routine- eating times (snacks and meals) and sleeping times (nap and bedtime) by marking those events on the face of an analog clock for my child to see.

Do you have any great ideas on how to improve this “Routine Clock”? Tell us about it! Comment below!

Step 1: Gather materials.

Here’s what you’ll need:

A cheap analog clock

Mainstay Sterling & Noble Wall Clock – Black

Sharpies

Sharpie 30078 Permanent Markers, Fine Point, Classic Colors, 8 Count

Scissors

AmazonBasics Multipurpose Scissors – 3-Pack

A screwdriver

TEKTON 2796 6-in-1 Screwdriver

Stickers, paint, or any other fun decorations your child might like!

RENOOK Stickers for Kids 1500+, 20 Different Sheets, 3D Puffy Stickers, Scrapbooking, Bullet Journals, Stickers for Adult, Including Animals, and More,Christmas Stickers for Kids. Crayola Washable Kids Paint, Classic Colors, 6 Count, Painting Supplies, Gift

Not required… But there were tiny screws that are easy to lose, so my husband’s magnetic tool tray might have come in handy. I wish I had thought of it beforehand.

Titan Tools 11061 Mini Magnetic Parts Tray

Step 2: Remove the minute hand (or at least mark the hour hand).

The overall goal with this clock is for my child to watch the hour hand approach a marked time for a snack or a meal or nap time in order to visualize when those events are getting closer.

The problem is that the minute hand crosses each of the marked time slots every hour of the day, while the hour hand only crosses them once per day (once per day during the hours that my child is awake anyways…).

So I really need my child to watch the hour hand, not the minute hand. By removing the minute hand or at least marking the hour hand, my child knows which one to keep an eye on.

You’ll have to remove the clock face for this step. It was super easy to do- just take out the screws on the back of the clock.

The minute and second hands were easy to cut with scissors. I did leave a small bit of each hand so that I could set the time on the clock.

If you would rather not cut the minute hand, just mark the hour hand with a sticker or by painting it or using a sharpie to change its color. This will help it stand out so that your child knows to watch the hour hand.

Step 3: Use a sharpie to mark the times of various daily activities on the face of the clock.

Replace the face of the clock. Again- so easy, just screw the face back on.

I tried light-colored sharpies so that my child could still see the numbers under my markings.

As my child practices with the clock, I would like to start teaching her how the numbers correspond with the time, which corresponds with our daily activities. I really didn’t want to cover up the numbers with dark colors.

I found that the light green and yellow sharpies were TOO light. You could hardly see the color. But the darker pink and darker green were perfect!

****Idea- One limitation of this clock is that it still only works to help my child understand the daily routine, not to prepare for curve balls that life throws when the routine is thrown off.

If you want the clock to change based on what your plans are for the day, don’t use sharpies. Try using dry erase markers so that you can add different tasks or activities based on what new things are going on for the day!

Then just erase your clock at the end of the day so that you can put the next day’s tasks on the clock!

For my purposes, I color coded the clock using green and pink. Pink marks are for meals and snacks. Green marks are for naps and bedtime.

My child usually goes to sleep at 7pm and wakes up at 7am, so I marked from 7 to 7:15 in green to mark bedtime/wake up time. Her nap is around 1-3, so those times are marked in green.

Breakfast is between 7:15-8, lunch is between 12-12:45, dinner is between 5-6, and snacks are from 10-10:30am and 3-3:30pm. Those times are all blocked out in pink.

Marking a range of time during which we generally eat or sleep rather than marking one specific time allows some flexibility.

For example, we start lunch any time between 12:00 and 12: 45.

Step 4: Decorate it!

I have not been blessed with a talent for drawing, especially on a curved surface like the face of a clock, so it was surprisingly difficult to make my clock look cute!

In the end, I decided I’d better go simple. I outlined each different task in black sharpie to make the time slots nice and defined, added a boarder around the face of the clock, and called it good.

But let’s be real- kids aren’t judgmental. They love you no matter what, and they’re excited about new things with pretty colors. So I had nothing to worry about.

If my little one were a little older, I would probably invite her to decorate it herself.

Oh, and I also added labels on each routine so that my awesome husband knows what’s coming up next. He always wants to help but doesn’t always know how. Win Win!

Step 5: Set the time.

Just follow the directions on the package!

Step 6: Put your new tool to work!

Well, we completed our clock about a week ago.

My daughter is catching on fast. I make sure to show her the clock each time a snack, meal, nap, or bedtime comes up. She is starting to point to it all on her own when we are getting close to one of those times in our day.

I chose not to hang it on the wall. Rather, I keep it on the counter.

Giving My Daughter a Heads Up

When a meal or nap is coming up, I hand it to my daughter (she loves to hold it) point to the color coming up. I ask her, “Do you know what’s going to happen soon?” or “Do you know what’s coming up next?”

Then we talk about it and I give her a 5-minute opportunity to finish up whatever she’s doing before it’s time to transition.

Helping her Understand When She Needs to Wait

It’s so much easier to tell her that she needs to wait to eat! (She doesn’t mind waiting to take a nap….)

If she’s getting hungry just a few minutes before dad gets home from work, I just show her the clock and say, “It’s not time for dinner yet, but look how close it is! Almost time!”

Then she can hold the clock and check back to watch as dinner time gets closer and closer.

I have noticed frustration levels for both me and my child decreasing every day! It’s so nice to have a simple way to help her look forward to what’s coming up next in her routine.

Did you try out this “Routines Clock”? How did it go?? Comment below!

Do you have any great ideas on how to make these clocks better? Tell us about it! Comment below!

I hope this resource helps some cute kids out there!

And parents, as always, keep up the good work!

(As a total side note, I recently learned about another amazing tool to help children with time! This one is a clock that lights up green when it is “wake up time.” If the child wakes up too early, the light is off so he knows to keep resting or engage in a quiet activity until the light turns green signaling that he can begin his day! AMAZING!)

Click on the image below! Mirari OK to Wake! Alarm Clock & Night-Light

Sincerely,

Mrs. S

Please share this post with a parent who could use some help teaching their kids about time!

Please comment, like, and subscribe to my weekly email list for updates on the world of parenting!!

Does your child struggle to understand time? Time is an abstract and difficult topic for young children. Here's an amazing DIY resource that will help you and your child! And the best part- it's less than $20 to make! Click here! Photo by Elena Koycheva on Unsplash This post may contain advertisements and/or links for products and services that I value.

#Parenting #Routines #Teaching Lifelong Skills #Time #Toddlers

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