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thetravelerwrites · 4 years

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Karrghed (Orc) Lemon

Rating: Explicit Relationship: Female Human/Male Orc Additional Tags: Exophilia, Orc, Florence Nightingale Effect Content Warning: Blood Mention, Serious Injury Injured Orc Words: 5310

A young woman running a ranch on her own is surprised when an injured orc stumbled out of the woods during a storm. She nurses him back to health and the two grow close. Please reblog and leave feedback!

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The ranch your mother had left you when she died could hardly be called that anymore; a single woman running it by herself with no ranch hands could barely get the chores done by nightfall. When your mother fell ill, you ended up having to sell most of the livestock, and the majority of the house’s furniture, just to keep a roof over your head. As it stood, you only had three cows, one bull, a single carthorse, and a handful of goats, sheep, and chickens left. Your great mastiff, Jude, helped wrangle the goats and sheep, and was your only helper.

You subsisted on your small garden, apple tree, and by selling cows and goats milk, the chicken’s eggs, and sheep’s wool to the locals. Otherwise, it was hand to mouth every day of the week.

For the last few hours, the animals had been restless, which could only mean one thing: a storm was on the horizon. A big one too, judging from how the animals were stamping and lowing and throwing their heads around. You decided to forgo letting them roam for the afternoon, like you would on a normal day, and put them into the small barn, one by one, including the hens.

You knew the animals would be safe; your father had built the barn as sturdy as a rock. You were more worried about your garden. Too much flooding would destroy it, and then you were out of fresh produce. It’s not like you could afford to buy more.

It began to sprinkle as you started setting up a rain shield over your crops. Whether it would hold or not was the question, but you had nothing else.

The rain was coming down a bit harder as you finished up, and you were soaked through and getting cold. Just as you turned to go into your house and stoke up the fire, movement in the treeline caught your attention. You straightened up to see a man, orcish based on his coloring, stumble out of the woods clutching his stomach.

He wore furs and armor, looking to be a warrior from one of the strongholds to the north, but you weren’t sure which. He was too far away to make out any identifying features, but you could see a dark stain cascading down from where he was holding. Before you could call out, he collapsed.

Without realizing it, you were rushing out, heedless of the potential dangers, to reach the man. He lay face down in the grass, blood leaking out from his wound.

“Oh gods,” You gasped, settling down next to him, shaking him. “You have to wake up! You’re too big for me to move on my own!”

He grunted but didn’t move.

“Shit!” You swore, making a dash for the barn, throwing a blanket over the carthorse and leading him out into the rain. You made him kneel down in the grass and managed to roll the orc twice in order to get him onto the horse. The physician was too far away, so the only thing you could do was put the orc in your house, ride like mad to the doctor, and pray that he was willing to go out in a storm to treat a patient. Even still, the least you could do is get him out of the rain.

You somehow managed to get the orc into the house, though he was basically splayed out on the floor in front of the door.

“Watch over him, Jude!” You called to the dog. The big girl boofed at you and sat right next to the orc, not moving.

Afterward, you threw a riding blanket over your carthorse and vaulted up, urging it into a gallop and starting the two miles to the nearest town, praying the orc would still be alive when you got back.

The doctor, praise be, was actually willing to ride back to your house with you after gathering a few things based on your description of the wound. He saddled up his own horse and followed you the five minutes back to the ranch house with the wind whipping your face.

Thankfully, the orc was still breathing, though it was labored, and the blood was pooling on the floor underneath him. You helped the doctor pick the orc up and put him in your bed and assisted him in removing the orc’s armor and bloodied clothes, then you went out to tend to the horses to let the doctor examine the visitor in private, taking Jude with you.

“Oh, Jude, my linens,” You bemoaned. “I do hope the poor man lives, but I’ll be shearing the sheep early this year just to replace the bedclothes. I guess I won’t be making that winter coat I was planning.”

Jude whined a little and nudged your hip as you brushed down the horses, tired from their run. You were tired, too. It was barely mid-afternoon, but the clouds from the storm made it seem as dark as night outside. It was throwing off your sense of time.

After brushing, feeding, and watering the horses, as well as making sure all the animals were well in their stalls, you dashed back inside the house. You had Jude stay with the animals rather than have wet dog smell inside your home. Jude made puppy eyes at you, but you promised she could come back in when you were able to come out and give her a proper pat down with a towel.

“How is he?” You asked the doctor, putting on the kettle for some tea.

“Well,” The doctor said, wiping his hands on a cloth. “He lost a large amount of blood, but I don’t think any of his major organs were damaged. The bleeding has stopped, mostly, and I’ve stitched up the wound. My concern is that he didn’t wake up either when I was fishing around inside him or when I was stitching him up. Either he took a head wound that I can’t seem to find, or he’s more dehydrated than I thought and there’s not enough blood flow to get him to come to alertness. You should attempt to get as much water down him as you can.”

“Wait, you’re leaving?” You asked, alarmed.

“I’ve done what I can, miss,” The doctor said, shrugging on his coat. “It’s in God’s hands now.”

“That’s it?” You asked. Oh gods, you couldn’t handle a man that size. “What should I do with him?”

“Just keep him hydrated. I’ll leave you a tincture of wormwood and willow bark for if he wakes. You should also make a poultice from honey to put on the wound to prevent infection, if you have any. Good day, miss.”

The doctor put on his hat and walked out the door, setting a bottle on the table as he went, leaving you to deal with the orc.

The storm passed overnight, during which time you spent a restless few hours sleeping on the floor of your room next to the patient. Every hour or so, you got up to try and get some water down his gullet, massaging his neck to get him to swallow. You did manage to get some fluids down each time, as he swallowed reflexively, but it wasn’t as much as you liked. He was worryingly unresponsive, as the doctor said, you wondered if he was always this pale shade of green or if it was a symptom of the blood loss.

The next morning, you took down the rain shield, relieved to find your garden only slightly damaged in a way that could be fixed, took the animals out for a graze, being sure to keep them out of the field that was particularly muddy, and went to find some honey. You took Jude with you for some much needed exercise, and she happily bound over rocks and stumps.

You knew there was a wild hive just beyond the treeline and hoped you’d be able to get enough without being stung to death. An hour and five stings later, you did end up with a small honeycomb clutched in your hand. Thankfully, you weren’t allergic to them, but several stings in one place was causing a significant amount of swelling. You might need to use some of the honey poultice for yourself, if there was enough. Although, you did have some apple cider vinegar left…

You didn’t know much about medicine beyond basic first aid, but some herbalism was pretty universal. You made up the poultice with the honey and some witch hazel and a few drops of the tincture the doctor had left.

The orc was still laying straightened out on the bed, still unconscious. Last night, during the storm, you’d had only the fire in the kitchen and a single candle flickering, so it had been rather dark. Now in the full light of day, you could get your first good look at the man who had stumbled onto your ranch.

His face was relaxed and handsome, though there were scars on his lip and across his nose. His tusks were large and circled with gold bands, though the tusks themselves had several nicks in them. Additional scars criss-crossed his well-defined chest and abdomen. His stomach, where the stitched wound, was flat and muscular. His arms, too, were pretty well-formed and had scars up and down them. His hair was intricately braided and still a little wet, though there were a few wayward strands falling around his shoulders. He seemed older than his shapely build suggested, perhaps late thirties, though you hadn’t met many orcs and weren’t entirely sure.

You slathered the poultice on the wound and covered it with a bandage. You couldn’t move him to wrap it securely, so all you could do was press it down gently to keep the air off of it. You tried again to get him to drink before wrapping up your hand and going out to take care of your livestock.

The next few days were the same, and you were beginning to wonder if he would ever wake. He was in danger of starving to death, if his wound didn’t get him. But just when you were losing hope, he opened his eyes as you were trying to feed him some broth.

“Are you alive?” You asked him, setting down the tureen.

He coughed and grunted. “Doesn’t feel like it.” He stared at you with startlingly bright blue eyes. “Who are you?”

“You stumbled into my field,” You told him. “I’ve had the doctor round to look at you. Seems like he was right.”

“Doctors don’t know anything,” He said gruffly. “I need to get to my stronghold and see the medicine woman.”

“What is she, if not a doctor by another name?” You asked shrewdly. He grunted again. “In any case, you’re in no condition to be going anywhere. You’ve been here nearly a week. Another few days won’t matter.”

“A week?!” He said. “I’ve been unconscious that long? Has anyone come for me? Is my battalion outside?” He made to get up, clutching his wound. “They need to know I’m alright.”

You tried to stop him, though you had as much luck as you would have had trying to push down a mountain. “There was no one but you! You came out alone. Please, you must stay in bed or you’ll reopen your wounds!”

“I have to see for myself!” He said, standing up, not realizing he was naked. You averted your eyes as he looked down. “Where are my clothes?”

“The doctor took them off to treat you,” You said, blushing furiously. “They’re over there.”

You pointed to a bureau, where his soiled garments and armor lay. He began putting them back on gingerly.

“I need to find them! I need to find my battalion,” He said. “A commander doesn’t leave his men behind.”

“You’ll die if you go out there by yourself in this condition,” You told him sternly.

“Then I’ll die,” He said matter-of-factly. “Thank you for your kindness. I’ll return with repayment, though I don’t know when that will be.”

“Not if you’re dead,” You said in an undertone, but if he heard, he gave no sign. Instead, he strode off across the field to the woods as, showing no trace of the injury under his armor in his gait. He hadn’t even told you his name.

You watched him disappear into the trees grimly, petting Jude’s head as she whined, before wondering if you had anything in your stores that would get bloodstains out of linens.

Another day passed. You ended up burning the linens and, after mourning their loss, sheared the sheep. While you were carding the wool for spinning on your porch with Jude, she barked loudly and stood up, staring out over the field. You looked and saw the orc come back out of the woods. He wasn’t stumbling like last time, but you could see he wasn’t well, even from this distance.

You set down the wool and walked out. You’d already had a cup of water set down next to you, so you snatched that up.

“Here,” You said as he approached, holding out the cup.

His breathing was labored as he said, “Thanks.” He drained it in two large gulps and handed the cup back, his hand going to his belly.

“Did you find them?”

“A few,” He said. “They’d been buried where they lay. It’s too warm and we live too far for them to have been brought home, especially after the rain. Thankfully, it looks like most of my battalion survived and went back to the stronghold.”

“That’s good,” You said.

He nodded. “Yes. I am glad.” He listed sideways and then straightened.

You squinted at him. “Have you rested at all?”

He shook his head. “I hate to impose further, but if you have a place I might lie down.”

“Come on,” You said, leading him into the house. “I’m going to have to replace the mattress anyway. You might as well use it until I make the new one.”

“My apologies for the inconvenience,” He said as you pulled him into the bedroom and prodded him to lie down. “I’ll move on as soon as I’m able.”

“Don’t worry about that right now,” You said. “You were a fool for leaving in your state yesterday. A person your age should know better.”

“Aye,” He said in a tired voice, flopping onto the bed facedown. You pushed him to make him roll over.

“You never told me your name, you know,” You told him.

“Karrghed,” He mumbled.

“Well, Karrghed, let me look at your wound, will you?” You said.

He grunted and assisted you in removing his armor, though he blessedly left his clothes on. There was fresh blood, but the stitches were holding. You sighed in aggravation.

“If you want to make it back to your stronghold alive, you need to take better care of yourself. You stay in that bed until I tell you to get up, understand?”

“If you say so,” He said, already half asleep. You sighed again and left him alone, going back out to finish carding.

You made dinner for the two of you, and after eating your portion, you took the rest on a tray into the room for him. He was still sleeping, so you shook him awake.

“Hey. I brought you dinner,” You said.

He managed a ghost of a smile. “I must be dying if a lovely woman is bringing me a meal in bed.”

You snorted. “Well, if you’re feeling well enough to flirt, I’m sure you’re nowhere close to dying. Sit up.” He did so and you put the tray on his lap. “Can you feed yourself?”

“I can manage, yes, thank you,” He said sardonically, taking the spoon in his hand and scooping up some of the stew you made.

“So… what happened?” You asked, sitting on the edge of the bed. “What brought you dying to my doorstep.”

He shoveled a spoonful of stew in his mouth and swallowed before answering. “A local village came to us about a large bandit attack that had killed several merchants and stolen much of their money and wares. They asked us to find the bandits and take care of them. They didn’t know how many there were, just that several businesses were hit at once. I took my battalion, fifty men strong, out to track them, five men to a team, twenty teams each. Team H came back and reported they’d found a camp that had some of the items that had been stolen, so we went to investigate. We walked into an ambush. And they weren’t bandits. They were a rival stronghold.”

“Oh gods,” You said. “There has to be some serious bad blood for them to do something like that.”

“Oh, yeah,” He said. “They claim they own the land our stronghold is built on and have been trying to push us out of our territory for almost a century. They’ve been getting more brazen lately, but I didn’t think they’d resort to murder. Strongholds are supposed to have a code of ethics. Whatever issues we have with each other, we never get innocent outsiders involved. This incident is designed to provoke a war.”

“War?” You said, frowning with concern.

“Yes,” He replied, eating as though unfazed. “As soon as I’m well enough, I need to make the trek back to the stronghold. They’ll need me for the coming battle. If this was the precursor to a full assault, I will be expected on the front lines.”

“So I’m letting you recuperate here just to die back there?” You asked sourly.

He shrugged. “That is the nature of war.”

“That doesn’t mean I have to like it,” You said, staring out the window.

He was silent, and you could feel his eyes on you. “Are you alone here?”

“Yes,” You replied.

“No family?”

“I was an only child, and my mother died recently. She had been sick for a long time.”

“Your father?”

“He died when I was a little girl,” You said flatly. “In a war. That’s about the time my mother became ill. I always believed it was heartbreak. She was never the same after his death.”

“I see,” He replied in a neutral tone.

You stood suddenly. “I need to tend to the animals. I’ll return later.”

You left the room without looking at him, and he said nothing to stop you.

Another two days passed with a rather formal atmosphere. You came in only to bring his meals, give him the tincture, and check his wounds. He didn’t attempt to flirt with you again, merely thanked you for the food and care.

You slept on the floor in the weaving room with Jude, since there were no other beds in the house. It had once been your bedroom, but you had started sleeping in the same room as your mother after she had gotten sick. You had been working on the canvas for the new mattress. You wished you had linen for the canvas, but you could never grow enough flax for a full mattress.

“Is this where you sleep?” You heard him ask from the doorway.

“Well, a large orc has taken residence in my bed, so yes,” You said groggily, rubbing your eyes. “What are you doing out of it?”

“I had to take piss,” He replied, his arms folded as he looked down at you with a frown. “Why didn’t you tell me I’d put you out so much?”

“Because it wasn’t relevant,” You said. “Do you need your tincture?”

“No, I feel fine,” He said. “I took a look around. You run this place alone?”

“As well as I can,” You replied. “It was much larger before. I had to sell a lot of what we had to pay for my mother’s treatments.”

“That’s still a lot of work for a woman on her own,” He said, his face softening. “You’ve been doing all this and taking care of me at the same time?”

“I’m used to it,” You said as you stood, brushing off your clothes. “I did it for my mother for years.”

“Dedicated. I like that in a woman,” He said with a smile.

You frowned at him. “Don’t waste your time with flirting. You’re leaving soon, remember?”

“You could come with me,” He said, his face serious.

You considered him. “This is my home,” You replied finally. “Besides, I could never commit myself to a warring man. I won’t die like my mother did.”

“Dying as a warrior is the highest honor for an orc,” He said automatically.

“I don’t know much about honor, but it seems to me that dying a happy old man isn’t a bad way to go, either,” You retorted.

“You wouldn’t understand,” He said, turning away.

“You’re right,” You said to his back as he returned to your room. “I don’t understand.”

There was no reply.

The next morning, you and Jude went out to care for the animals, only to find that the morning chores had been done. The water troughs were full and there was hay in the feed bins. The chickens had been fed and the eggs collected. The cows and goats had been milked and the milk was in the jugs, seal and waiting to be distributed. This felt odd. You’d never woken up and had nothing to do. Bemused, you went to make breakfast.

Karrghed came out of the bedroom in just his clothes. They were freshly laundered, the bloodstain still present but cleaned as well as possible and the hole stitched. His hair was rebraided and he seemed to have washed himself.

“Thank you for doing my chores, but you shouldn’t do so much while you’re still healing,” You said, beginning to chop some vegetables for breakfast.

“It was the least I can do,” He said. “Besides, orcs heal fast.” He leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed and watched you bustle about the kitchen. “I think I’ll be well enough to get out of your hair tomorrow.”

“Hmm,” You hummed. “If you’re sure.”

“I was serious yesterday,” He said. “I’ve never considered taking a wife before. As you say, being a soldier means you’re always putting your life in danger, so it never seemed sensible to get married. But… you’re captivating. Loyal, hard working, kind. Beautiful. You wouldn’t have to struggle to survive. You’d be taken care of.”

“I don’t need to be taken care of,” You told him evenly. “Besides, I was serious, too. I won’t marry a soldier. And I won’t leave my home.”

There was silence for several minutes as he watched you cook. You had a feeling the conversation wasn’t over yet. You plated the food and set it on the table, and he took a seat opposite you.

As you were eating, he said: “Would you be willing to wait for me?”

“Wait?” You echoed.

“I have to go back and see this thing done with the rival stronghold,” He said, setting his fork down. “But… When it’s over… I could return here. I’ve been thinking about what you said, about dying happy. Being a soldier… it fulfills a sense of duty that every orc has, it’s rewarding, sometimes it’s even fun. It’s expected of me, but I’m not sure it’s ever made me happy. Most men my age have settled down, handed the battle to the next generation, usually when they’re wounded to the point that they don’t see the appeal anymore. Perhaps it took a gut wound for me to reach that point. Maybe it was meeting you. But… I’d like to try another life. A happy one.”

“What if you decide you’re not happy?” You asked him bluntly. “What if you give up your entire life and realize you made a mistake? Where does that leave me? Right back where I was. You’ve gotten what you wanted, and then you leave.”

He shook his head. “I wouldn’t do that.”

“You don’t know what you’d do, you’ve never been in this situation.”

He reached across the table and took your hand. “I know myself. No matter what, I wouldn’t abandon you. I’m a man of my word.”

“Karrghed,” You said, sliding your hand out from under his. “We don’t even know each other, and we certainly don’t love each other. We have two different lives. You can’t give up everything you know in an effort to repay a debt you think you owe because I helped you, and you won’t convince me that this offer of marriage isn’t some sort of misguided attempt to reimburse me.”

He sat in a stony silence for a minute, staring at his plate, his jaw working.

“You think I don’t love you?” He asked darkly. You stared at him for a moment before he suddenly stood, said, “Thank you for the meal,” and retreated into the bedroom. You sat stunned at the table, staring after him, feeling confused and out of sorts.

Karrghed didn’t reappear for lunch or dinner, nor did he respond when you ask if he needed anything. You spent the day sewing and stuffing the new mattress and covering, thinking hard on what Karrghed had said. The hurt in his words.

You think I don’t love you?

“Karrghed?” You called through the door that evening, just after nightfall. “I’ve finished the mattress. Will you help me move it to the bed? It’s unwieldy and I’m having a hard time moving it on my own.”

At first, you didn’t think he would respond, but just when you were about to give up, you heard his footsteps approach and the door opened. He didn’t look at you, just brushed past you and hauled up the mattress, taking it to the bedroom. You followed him inside with new linens, waiting as he swapped out the mattresses before making the bed. He took the old one out to the barn and returned before you had finished.

“You should sleep on the bed,” He said. “It’s yours anyway. I’ll sleep in the other room.”

“Nonsense,” You said, smoothing out the blanket. “You’re still healing. You should have the bed.”

“No,” He said, his voice like steel. “It’s shameful of a man to make a woman sleep on the floor.”

You took a big breath and said, “There’s room for both of us.”

His face hardened. “Don’t play with me.” He propelled himself off of the frame and stalked off to the other room.

Your heart hammered in your chest as you watched him walk off. You didn’t know what had overtaken you, but you knew you had to set it right. If he left tomorrow angry with you, you’d regret it forever.

“I’ll wait for you, Karrghed!” You called through the door.

He stopped there in the doorway of the weaving room, his back to you, breathing hard. Slowly, he turned on his heel to look at you.

“You swear?” He said in a hushed tone. “You swear you’ll wait?”

“Yes,” You said. “Karrghed, I swear.”

The first true, genuine smile you’d ever seen split his face. It made him look ten years younger. Three long strides was all it took for him to reach you, and you pressed his lips you yours. You’d never imagined you’d react the way you did, throwing your arms around his neck and drinking in his kiss as if it were a rare wine. He wrapped his arms around you and lifted you, laying you down on the fresh bed.

The heat flooded your body as he placed himself between your legs, kissing your lips, cheek, neck, and shoulders, pulling down your sleeves to expose more of your skin. You tugged up his shirt and pulled it over his head, wrapping your legs around his waist. Your fingers drifted across the stitches in his stomach.

“Wait, wait,” You said. “You haven’t healed enough for this.”

He groaned, but he knew you were right. “Very well. Then I’ll leave you with a promise, then.” He sank down between your legs and touched your swollen lips with his large fingers. You gasped and your head fell back onto the covers. He kissed your inner thighs as his fingers teased you, and you writhed underneath him. Nothing had ever made you feel like this before, and you wanted more.

He leaned forward and his tongue pressed itself to your slit, and your body tensed involuntarily with pleasure. You grabbed his hair and tugged hard, pulling him closer, and he chuckled. His tongue plunged inside of you and moaned, his fingers gliding over your clit, rubbing it in circles. He definitely seemed like he knew what he was doing. He sucked and nibbled and nipped, and you were glad you had no neighbors, as you didn’t realize you could scream so loud.

“I love a woman who’s not scared to make noise,” He said as he came up for air.

“You said you could stop?” You asked breathlessly, laying on the bed like a de-boned fish.

He laughed as he pulled himself up and laid on top of you. “Much more and you’ll be asleep for a week, like I was. You need to recover.”

You mewled unhappily, but submitted to his kiss.

The two of you slept naked, wrapped up in each other, and in the morning, he dressed and readied himself to leave.

“I swore to wait,” You said sternly. “But now you have to swear to come back. Swear to me.”

“I swear, beloved,” He said, kissing you gently. “I don’t know how long it will take to put this to bed, but when it is done, I’ll return. I swear.”

Six months passed, six months of letters, gifts, and treasures sent as “bride-gifts” as it was called in clans, presents to prove to the bride that the groom was more than capable of providing for her. From just these things, it was clear to you that Karrghed was very well off, apparently having made a name for himself as a commander early in his career.

The day finally came when he would return. You watched from your porch from dawn, waiting for him. Jude knew before you did, bounding off of the porch and launching herself toward the woods. He walked with haste up the gravel trail, a horse and cart behind him, followed by a line of cattle, two horses, and a procession of orcs, at least ten in total, all with packs.

You jumped off the porch and ran to him. He left off giving Jude a good pat in time to catch you as you jumped up, kissing you soundly.

When you broke apart, you asked, “What’s all this?”

“This is my family,” He said with a grin, extending a hand. “They’re here for the wedding, and my parents wanted to come in person to thank you for saving my life. My two youngest brothers will be staying on as ranch hands.” He pointed at two young orcs, perhaps not fully grown. “It’ll be good learning for them before they join the corps.”

“But!” You said. “I’m happy to meet everyone, but there isn’t enough room in the house for all of them!”

“No worries, my love,” He said, still smiling. “As their wedding gift to us, they will be helping to build a new barn and add on to the house. There’s no telling how many children we may have. It’s good to be prepared.”

You laughed and blushed at the same time. He chuckled at you.

“I kept my promise, didn’t I?” He asked in your ear.

“You did,” You replied, hugging him around the neck. “And so did I.”

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My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

#Exophilia #Orc #Orc Boyfriend #Florence Nightingale Effect

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twenty-one-flightattendants · 5 years

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This one is for all of you people out there with a uterus

Since the devil blesses anyone with a uterus every month I think it would be rude not to acknowledge their thoughtful gift. So for those of you who are younger and just starting this cycle of torture, or are also a veteran who either cant or does'nt want to go on birth control, here's what I do to deal with it every month :)

What you will need to survive (I am not a professional this is just what helps me yeah yeah yeah we get it anyways)

•hot water bottles (preferably 2)

•A LOT of drinking water so you don't die

•a lot of tea so you have something to warm your cold dead heart

•a will to live (will be lost at some points during)

•a bed for lying down in (I think that's pretty self explanatory tbh)

•drugs to get rid of the pain (legal of course, FBI dont come for me)

•blood soaking/collecting supplies...obviously

•soaps and nice smelling things because periods are stinky

•Cold compress

•a bath (showers will obviously do but baths are nice and you can s u b m e r g e)

•many snacks

•spare laundry because it happens to the best of us

How to deal with specific period bull shit

☆Blood

•Tampon and pad let's go my dudes or a menstrual cup, anything that collects blood is a win whatever works for you boo

•vaginal safe soaps, you don't want to irritate your intimate areas because I promise you it's NOT FUCKING WORTH IT

•clean/spare bedding, even grown ass adults will leak if it's heavier than expected that's just part of the fun of having blood uncontrollably flood out of your body every month

•spare underwear once again just incase

•If it gets SUPER bad and I mean holy shit I'm bleeding a waterfall for 7 days straight maybe go to your doctor about that one

☆Stomach Cramps

•pain killers (Ibroprufen, paracetamol, horse tranquilizers, ect...)

•Hot water bottle (or any other warm object like a microwavable Christmas penguin named pingu you got for Christmas) one on your back helps if you have 2

•extension on the hot water bottle. Lie flat on your back or stomach...you choose idc...No pillows with one hot water bottle underneath you and one on top of you. Pretend you're being arrested for having a uterus and put your hands above your head. Breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Good luck...may the odds be ever in your favour

•bath (make it bubbles and bath bombs and nice smells)

• if you are of legal age and have a partner see how brave said partner is and have some good old fashioned sexy time (Please dont accidentally make a baby, unless you want to get pregnant, and use protection despite popular belief you can in fact get pregnant while on your period)

•excersise is helpful and makes pain more bearable but it's a lot of effort and idk if I can commit to that

•praying to every god even if you're not religious because it just won't end

•chocolate...trust me I'm a scientist...

•Once again real talk here if you feel like you're giving birth every month, you're throwing up because of the pain and you're close to passing out go see a doctor because that's shit aint okay

☆Back pain

•pain killers (horse tranq you know the drill)

•hot water bottle as mentioned before

•light stretches/exercises (look I know the last thing you wanna do is move but for back pain it helps you literal slug)

•water (a lot of this is repeated)

•tea again, for once I'm advising you to NOT spill it

•Lie on flat surface with hot water bottle under back and over think your past mistakes

•bath but only if bath is big, small baths are shit and I and up wanting to die (TM)

☆Boob pain

•nothing helps

•Just fucking suffer

•dont wear a bra I guess

•fuck you boobs

☆Head ache

•pain killers yeah yeah we get it

•a cold compress (or a wet paper towel, if you're a primary school nurse fuck you)

•good ol' ice cold H20

•take a walk... you know... in the outside place

•uuuuh...have a nap????

☆Emotions

•Try not to kill anyone

•Meditate /exercise if you can be fucked because it does help but uuuuuuugh

•scream in to the void

•silently curse people who don't have a uterus but feel like they know EVERYTHING there IS to know because it CaNt bE thAt BAd

•verbally curse the aformetioned people but only if you're ready for a FUCKING FIGHT YOU SON OF A BI...

•astral project on to another plane

☆Cravings

•for the short term keep a decent amount of the foods you crave because even though chocolate is bad chocolate is good you feel me

•keep cupboards stocked with healthier (ew) foods that's will help stop cravings of junk food (there's a load of lists on line and shit) for example if you ant crisps it's probably salt you're craving so go for something healthier that's slightly salty. It will ultimately make you feel better but in the long term (chocolate is healthy right...)

•DRINK WATER....SO....MUCH...WATER...STAY HYDRATED

•Ice cream is a good friend

K that's it, feel free to add if you think of something ive forgotten or if you think I've gotten anything completely wrong which is possible with me, and thanks again to satan for the monthly gift we luv ya<3

#period #periods #menstrual cycle #menstration #period hacks #life hacks #how to deal with periods #bad periods #lgbt #health #sanitation #health class #health education

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aroseandapen · 6 years

Text

Fish Bait {Part 1/?}

Read on AO3

Next (Coming)

Rating: Teen Pairing: Oumota Word Count: 5871 Summary: By chance, Kaito happens to come across a merman on his morning run. He still doesn't know if he's lucky for it or not.

The early morning chill crept up over his arms and raised goosebumps in its wake. Kaito jogged in place to keep himself warm as he ran through a mental checklist to make sure he had everything. Phone? Check. Keys? Check. Water bottle, despite the chilly air blowing in from the ocean? Check.

Shirt and shorts covering his body? Check. Not that he’d ever forgotten them, but the amount of nightmares around the subject kept him vigilant against it. Some things didn’t need a first-time experience.

With that, however, he was all set for his morning run. He blew on his hands to warm them up, then set off at a brisk pace down the his grandparents’ driveway and up the street. As he reached the end, he turned left around the corner and the view before him opened up to the beach, his usual destination. He enjoyed jogging along the coastline, kicking up sand with his heels and attempting to outrun the early lingering nighttime chill that hadn’t yet been chased away by the morning sun. The cold air filled his lungs and invigorated him, the exhaustion of waking up so early falling away so that he felt energized and ready for the coming day.

He enjoyed the stillness of the coast at this time, when tourists hadn’t yet risen and very few people wandered the beach. The near silence save for the natural sounds of wind and waves brought peace to his heart as he run his usual route, down the long strip of sand at the water’s edge and past the pier. As he made to pass it by, however, movement caught his eye. He slowed to a stop, jogging in place to glance down toward the end of the pier.

Two fishermen stood at the very edge, not unusual in and of itself. He’d seen plenty of them both early in the morning and late at night, getting some fishing done before the sun rose too high or the beach-goers swarmed the pier and sand. Yet he could make out a large netted mass through the fog that hadn’t yet dissipated for the day, wriggling on the pier floor between them. He’d never seen such a huge fish before, at least in person although he knew theoretically that they could get pretty damn big depending on the species. He’d always figured that was something seen only in deep-sea fishing, not something a person could catch at a pier close to land. Curiosity burned inside of his chest; he had to investigate, and probably congratulate the two men on their catch. He started down the pier, his interest growing with each step.

As he drew within earshot, he opened his mouth to call out his questions and announce his arrival before he actually got to them. Yet as he did so, he got a better look at their catch, and it stopped him in his tracks, one foot still hovering in the air. His breath caught in his throat in disbelief. ‘What the hell’, he wanted to say, but he couldn’t form words. He opened his mouth, and no sound came out except for a quiet exhale.

“I eat people like you for breakfast, ya know! So you better not touch me if you know what’s good for you!” Upon drawing close enough to make out the details, Kaito saw that although it had a fish-like tail, the scales crept up over the skin of a strikingly human-shaped torso. It turned swiveled its head between the two men as it spoke, a wicked grin fixed onto its face. “I may look cute, but you know creatures like me are super strong and I could murder you without breaking a sweat.”

“It talks way too much; no one’s going to want a yapper. There’s probably a way to cut its vocal cords without killing it, and I know a guy who can do that,” one of the fisherman said, ignoring the half-fish person.

“No way. If the buyer wants it quiet, they can do it themselves. I don’t want to have to barter with someone over ‘damaged goods’. Put a gag on it. That’ll work well enough,” the other said, shaking his head with hands resting on his hips.

“Holy shit,” Kaito breathed out. Neither of the men had noticed him yet, and he was glad for it.

He couldn’t believe the shit the fisherman talked about. Even if the thing looked like something of myths or legends, the sort that lurked in the oceans and dragged sailors down to their watery deaths, the fishermen sounded downright insane talking about it. Although obviously intelligent enough to make speech, it might as well be mute for all the good it did. The fishermen didn’t acknowledge anything it said, casually talking about maiming and selling it as if discussing everyday business. Kaito vaguely wondered if they’d done this before. Found a creature like this… mermaid? It had to be a mermaid, but Kaito could hardly wrap his mind around the impossible idea of it.

Yes, impossible, such a thing couldn’t be real. Yet despite that, one lay right before him at the end of the pier.

“Geez, I’m not an ‘it’ you know, I’m a ‘he’,” the mermaid—merman?—said. He spoke with a childish tone, as if the fishermen were nothing more than an annoyance to him, but Kaito could detect a hint of fear in the waver of his voice. “I should kill you guys just for that. My friends will be here any moment you know and they’ll drag both of you down and murder you if you don’t let me go.”

The fishermen laughed at that. For the first time they addressed the merman himself, both wearing matching expressions of cruel amusement. One said, “We both know you creatures go solo. You’ll kill us if you get a chance, sure, but…” The speaker nudged him with the tip of his boot, withdrawing his leg the moment the merman took a swipe at it. “We’re not going to give you that.”

Kaito couldn’t just stand there watching this happen, but he also couldn’t just turn and continue his way down the beach. Real or not, human or weird fish person, he refused to let someone get tormented and sold and their vocal cords potentially ripped out. Not when he had the opportunity to save them, a chance encounter that had brought him across these two fishermen and a captured merman.

Did mermen truly kill humans like the fishermen claimed? Hell, did that even really matter? Kaito knew that the truth wouldn’t stop him from doing the right thing according to his gut.

So he made his decision. His very stupid, dumbass decision.

Feet thudding against the pier, Kaito bulled forward toward the figures. The sound of shoes thudding against the wood startled the fishermen. They spun in his direction, mouths parted as if to shout something at the intruder on their business, but too late. Bending down, his hands collided with the cold, smooth scales the merman’s tail and the rough-spun net entangling him. He shoved, hard. Something stung his hands as they slipped over the tail, making him hiss, but he didn’t have time to think about it.

The merman let out a sharp cry of alarm as he tipped and tumbled over the lip of the pier. Kaito grinned at the splash he made when he hit the water. Mission accomplished.

“Hey!”

“What the hell, kid, what’s your problem!”

Oops, no time to celebrate yet. He still had to move. Kaito jogged back a few steps, putting distance between the fishermen and preparing to make his quick escape. He offered an insincere grin of apology in response to their faces, equal parts shocked and enraged. “Sorry, just wanted to see what was going on, guess my hand slipped!” He laughed and spun on his heel. He hoped that the net somehow came loose when he pushed the merman, but he had no way to check and make sure now. “Sorry about that, but I gotta go, I’m running late!”

Propelled by the adrenaline coursing through him, he took off at a sprint back down the pier. The men shouted after him, but he didn’t look over his shoulder to see if they pursued him. He kept his eyes straight ahead and ran and ran, assuming that they were after him. He kept running until their voices were nothing but faint whispers swallowed up by the wind, until the sand beneath his feet turned into hard concrete. Even then, he refused to slow down.

By the time he returned to his grandparents’ house, he was gasping for air. His heart pounded harder than it ever had before, his limbs trembling with the excitement over what just happened. He stopped at the end of the driveway to catch his breath. Only then did he investigate his stinging palms. He winced.

Apparently, despite their smoothness when he’d first touched them, the merman’s scales were sharp as well. Both of his hands sported several cuts, the blood crusted over his palms from his mad dash from pier to house. They probably weren’t as bad as they looked for all the blood present, but he should probably get them cleaned up before his grandparents saw and made a big deal over it. He just needed to avoid letting his grandma see them. She normally rose shortly after Kaito left for his morning run. She liked to brew a pot of tea and sit at the rear-facing window to greet the morning sun with a steaming mug in her hands.

Normally he welcomed the sight. Something about seeing her, a blanket placed over her lap and the worn fluffy slippers on her feet that Kaito had gotten her for Christmas years ago, helped him wind down after a hard run. Right now, however, he didn’t want to have to try and make up an excuse for the cuts. Maybe he could say that he had fallen.

But looking at the cuts, they didn’t look like the sort of scrapes that someone would get in a fall. Maybe his grandma wouldn’t look too closely at them. It’d be best for her not to see them at all, he decided before slipping into the house.

He closed the door softly behind him and made a beeline for the bathroom. As he passed by the living room, he caught sight of those familiar fuzzy slippers and he sped up, disappearing into the hall.

Just as he did so, he heard his grandma’s amused voice call out after him, “Kaito? Where’s the fire?”

His heart thudded in his chest. Backing up a few steps, he poked his head just far out enough into the entryway so that he could grin into the living room at his grandma and keep his hands out of sight. “Hey! Just gotta… piss real bad is all. I don’t think I’ve run so fast in my life I needed to get home so bad,” he lied through his teeth. The accompanying laugh he gave sounded strained, but he hoped that could be explained by a desperate need to use the toilet.

His grandma shook her head. “No wonder you got home so quickly. You’re usually out until later,” she said, voice gently exasperated, yet a tiny smile formed on her lips. “Well, don’t let me keep you then, but I’d welcome your company out here if you’ve got some time to sit with an old woman after you finish your business.”

“Yeah of course! I’ll be out in just a sec!” he said, and ducked back down the hall.

Once the bathroom door locked behind him, he let out a sigh of relief. Now then. He turned on the bathroom sink, and ignored the pain when he stuck his hands under the running water. As he washed the blood away, he examined the cuts lining his palms. Not bad, but he hadn’t expected to get injured at all just from pushing some half-fish-mermaid creature into the water. At least he’d gotten away, and the mermaid had too. Probably. The netting might not unravel, and would leave him just as trapped as he’d been on the docks. At least he’d be in the ocean, though. Maybe some friends of his would come by and help him out.

Then Kaito remembered what one of those men had said. Mermaids were supposedly solitary creatures, according to them. In that case, he’d be on his own and no one would come to help him. Did Kaito just make things a whole lot worse? Did he knock him into the water and solidify his fate to starve to death without a way to swim free?

Not that he could do anything to help now. He just had to accept that he’d done all that he could and move on. Ignoring the guilt that still churned his insides, Kaito patted his hands dry and put some ointment on the cuts. A few adhesive bandages would work fine, he figured, and after that he’d be able to say that he fell and scraped his hands trying to catch himself with no problem. No one would question him if they couldn’t see the cuts themselves. Accidents happened.

Remembering the excuse he’d given his grandma, Kaito flushed the toilet. He let the water run and splashed it on his sweaty face. Once his reflection looked presentable enough, he shut off the sink and nodded to himself. Alright. All he had to do was not look like he was distracted with thinking about something fantastical that he’d witnessed on his run, and not worry his grandma about things that she didn’t have to. It was just any other day, any other morning spent chatting the hour before he had to get running to school away with her. He didn’t mess with some fishermen’s catch of a creature straight from a fairy tale.

Right, he had this.

…easier said than done.

He left the bathroom and, as promised, joined his grandma in the living room. As he spent time with her, she didn’t question him much nor did she seem to notice the bandages on his hands. At one point, she did remark that he seemed more distracted than usual, but Kaito lied and claimed that he hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before. It was a believable enough excuse, and she nodded in understanding and warned him not to stay up too late, to which he assured her that he wouldn’t. After having some tea, he got up again to get ready and head off to school. The trip there felt more like a dream, and he had no memory of the commute. Once in class, school droned on as he sat feeling trapped at his desk. He needed to get up and run or do something to exert some of the restless energy building up inside of it, but there was nothing to do for it but wait until the next break.

The boredom set in quickly, and the teacher’s words became a background track as his thoughts once again turned to his fantastical morning encounter.

Kaito had seen a mermaid. A real live mermaid, caught by fishermen and about to be dragged away and sold. Probably on a secret market he guessed, considering he’d never heard of such a thing and those men seemed to know what they were doing. Solo creatures likely, potential killers, something he should probably be grateful that he hadn’t met on his own in the middle of the ocean. Yet he couldn’t help but feel the bitter disappointment that he hadn’t been able to speak to it—to him, rather. It wasn’t every day that a highschool student saw a mermaid.

Yet he knew that there hadn’t been time for words. He’d had to act quickly, and either shove it into the water or scoop him up to run away from the pier with a sizable fish-tail-person combo floundering in his arms. With how the latter would slow him down and his palms still stung from the cuts he’d wrapped up that morning, the former seemed to be the wiser option. He didn’t even know whether the fishermen had chased him at all, but if he’d grabbed their catch then they surely would’ve pursued him in order to get it back.

He sighed, and tried to return his attention to class. The teacher was talking about some math problem written on the board, and a single glance told him that the lesson was a waste of his time. He’d learned about it on his own months ago. So knowing that he wasn’t missing anything important, Kaito allowed himself to zone out again, eyes absently traveling between the board ahead of him and the notebook pretending to take notes in.

He couldn’t stop thinking about that mermaid, and his ‘notes’ were a testament to that, filled with absent-minded doodles of mermaids filling the page. If only he had someone that he could talk to about it, just to get it out in the open. Maybe then he wouldn’t get so distracted as he’d been all day so far. Yet even if he did decide to confide in someone, there was no way that they’d ever believe him.

What was his name? Did mermaids even have names?

Classes continued to flit by, and Kaito didn’t remember any of it. By the time school began to reach its end, his doodles filled the pages of his notebook, and he still continued staring out into the space in front of him. He didn’t even register that the class had long since emptied out, leaving him alone to his relentless thoughts.

“Earth to Kaito Momota.”

The voice spoken right at his ear made him jump in his seat so hard that he banged his knees against the underside of his desk. He grunted, hunching over to rub at his knees as he shot an offended look at the person who’d startled him from his thoughts.

His expression softened immediately.

“Maki Roll, hey! What’s up?”

The only response he received initially was a sigh as the dark-haired girl straightened up from where she’d had her hands planted on his desk. She fixed him with a cold glare, as if he’d somehow inconvenienced her. He didn’t need to guess why she seemed annoyed; she’d likely tell him the exact reason in mere moments.

“What do you mean, ‘what’s up’? Are you planning on going home anytime soon, or are you just going to sit here staring at the board all night? You know I’m not going to wait for you if you decide to space out forever,” she scolded him, just as Kaito predicted she would.

Kaito glanced up at the clock. Shit, he couldn’t believe the school day had already ended. He didn’t even remember lunch. Did he have homework to do that night? The board had already been wiped clean; he’d have to call up a couple classmates later just to make sure. He laughed at himself, turning his sheepish grin back up at the glowering girl.

“Sorry, didn’t realize what time it was! Didn’t even hear the bell, I guess, maybe I should get my ears checked,” he said, sticking his little finger into his ear to dig around as if to clear some blockage away. “Didn’t mean to make you wait Maki Roll, thanks for coming to get me.”

Maki puffed out her cheeks, averting her gaze and playing with one of her extremely long ponytails. Kaito remembered more the one occasion where he’d told her how pretty her hair was. She’d called him an idiot for it each time, but he always caught the hint of a pleased smile afterward. It pleased him to see her secret smiles, although he never called her out on the lie. If he did, she’d deny it vehemently, and he’d be hard pressed to get a positive reaction again after that. He refrained from calling her cute now, though, with how irritated she looked.

“Like I said, I don’t wait for you,” she said, refusing to look at him. “I just happened to come by here anyway, so I don’t know what you’re thanking me for. Stop smiling at me like that!”

Kaito’s smile turned into a beaming grin as she insisted that she hadn’t been waiting around for him. He couldn’t help it. It was a poor lie at best, with Maki covering up for her actual concern for him. When she chanced a glance at his face and snapped upon seeing the smile stretched across his face, he could only laugh. Shaking his head, his grin fixed onto his lips.

“Sorry, sorry,” he said, not sounding apologetic in the slightest. He stood from his desk, grabbing his backpack from the floor to sling it over his back with one strap hanging off his shoulder. “Thanks for snapping me out of it anyway. Now, let’s get going!”

“You’re such a dumbass.” She seemed mildly amused as she said it, however, and the insult lacked its usual frosty bite.

They fell into a comfortable silence as they left the school. Such quiet suited Kaito just fine. He knew that Maki preferred to listen more than talk, and Kaito normally enjoyed filling the spaces between her sparse responses and rolled eyes with his own words. He talked about anything that came to mind—the day, his classes, tennis club—but inevitably the conversation rolled into his love for space. Kaito could talk endlessly about the universe, and stars, and planets, and his dream of one day blazing a trail across them all. One day he’d pioneer the way for commercial space travel, so that artists of all kinds could reach alien cultures that they hadn’t even discovered yet.

He half Maki to tell him to shut up with how frequently he talked about space sometimes. It was practically all he was interested in, and so he talked about it in great length, for as long as she allowed it. She never said anything about it though, and listened to him speak with sideways glances that told him he still had her attention.

Today, however, he didn’t say anything. As Maki fell quiet and they began their walk home together, Kaito was content to allow the silence to remain. His encounter with that merman still buzzed around his head, his thoughts allowing for nothing else to enter them. So many regrets. Should he have gotten a picture? No, he’d been too busy shoving the merman into the water and then running away from the angry fishermen. A picture from afar would’ve been too fuzzy and look fake, and a picture close up was just impossible.

Shit, Kaito hoped that he’d never see the fishermen again. He doubted it, but the possibility was still there. It’d probably be smart to delay his early-morning run or take it in the evening, just to ensure that their schedules never crossed for the next few weeks or so.

Not that he was afraid of them. No way, he could take those wimps with one had tied behind his back. He just preferred not to bother with it to begin with. Explaining bruised knuckles and a bloody lip was more trouble than simply changing up his schedule for a short while.

“You sure are quiet,” Maki remarked after they’d been walking for a few minutes.

“Huh, am I?” Kaito shrugged off her comment. “Guess I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”

“Like what?”

Of course Maki would choose now of all times to ask him questions. In her defense, Kaito supposed that he’d been acting strange since he first came into school, zoning out through lunch and spacing out so hard in class that she’d had to come find him after it was over. Now he didn’t talk as he usually did on his way home. Anyone would be curious about what had his mind so occupied.

But he couldn’t exactly tell her what happened, right? She wouldn’t believe him. Kaito wouldn’t believe him either, listening to him tell his tale. Yet she was his friend, and he should be able to be honest with her no matter how ridiculous the story was. And she might actually believe him after all, he figured.

It wouldn’t hurt to try.

“Well, this morning when I was on my morning run, I saw this thing between two fishermen on the pier. I thought it was a huge fish but it was actually a mermaid! And the dudes were talking about taking it and selling it and cutting its vocal cords, and I couldn’t take hearing that, so I rescued it and shoved it into the water!”

Then he ran as fast as he could back home, but she didn’t need to hear that.

Maki gave him a look. “Where do you come up with things like this?”

Yeah, he figured that she wouldn’t believe him. Still, he held his bandaged palms up to her, trying to convince her. “No way, it’s true! I cut myself on its scales and everything!”

She rolled her eyes and pushed his hands away. “I hope you really didn’t shove some poor fisherman’s catch into the water this morning. You could at least make up a believable story if you’re going to lie.”

Kaito didn’t answer that right away, staring at his hands. He knew what he saw, and that had been a mermaid. He’d heard him talk, too, even if he had no proof now. No proof except for the cuts on his hands, of course. Maki would never believe him though, just as he figured. So he dropped it with a shrug. It wasn’t worth the effort, he decided, and it was probably better that she didn’t believe in his story.

“Right, sorry. I think it’s a pretty interesting story though,” he said. He couldn’t say he blamed her for not believing something like finding a mermaid, but damn he would’ve liked to be able to get his persistent thoughts out into the open with his best friend.

“You’ve had better stories.” Maki turned her eyes back to the street ahead of them. They were nearing the orphanage she lived in now, and Kaito could see the reluctance building in her expression. “You better make your next story a good one, or else.”

“Yeah. Yeah, gotcha… Did you want to come over to my place for a while?” he asked, ignoring her threat.

Gratitude flashed across her eyes, but when she turned her face to look up at him it had already vanished. Even so, the tiniest smile remained on her lips. “Yes. That’d be nice, thank you.”

They crossed the street together, and Kaito pushed his thoughts away to fill the silence between them with his voice again. He had a life to live, and couldn’t spend it with his head preoccupied with impossible regrets.

So he told himself at least. A few days later he found himself worse off than ever. No matter what he did, he couldn’t put the memory of his encounter out from his mind. By the time the weekend rolled around, Kaito couldn’t resist anymore. He went down to the beach, to the pier where he’d first seen the merman. At the edge of the wood he paused, staring at the far end where he’d seen the captured merman.

This was a stupid idea. It wasn’t like the creature would be lurking around the very spot that he’d been captured the first time, even if the pier was utterly devoid of people now. Yet Kaito still went around to go beneath the pier, walking down closer to the water until he stood with the waves lapping against his knees in the shadow of the dock above. He rested a hand against one of the thick support beams, scanning the blue ahead of him.

He didn’t know what to expect, but a sudden large shadow appearing from around one of the beams wasn’t one of them.

It moved swiftly, bending the water with its size and speed. Kaito stepped back, splashing as he attempted to retreat before the coming shape. Too slow. Before he’d made it back even a couple of feet, the shadow reached him.

A hand broke the surface of the water. It caught his, and jerked downward.

He shouted. The sound echoed off the underside of the pier and choked off with a splash as Kaito hit the water. He sat up, brushing wet hair from his eyes and sputtering in the shock of the freezing water. He blinked rapidly and swiped the back of his hands across his eyes, trying to get his bearings as his heart thudded frantically against the back of his ribcage. Then, the sight in front of him made it freeze in his chest.

“You!”

Thin lips curled up in a playful grin, purple eyes sparkling with mischief. “You know, normally people think of something a little more eloquent to say than that when they see a super rare creature. And I do have a name you know.”

Right in front of him was the very merman who’d been running through his head for the past few days. Kaito’s jaw dropped open and he could only gape in silent shock. The merman giggled, clearly amused by his reaction. The sound brought him back to his senses; he struggled to say anything more substantial.

“You—. You’re that—.” His thoughts were like live wire, electric and jumping back and forth before he could get a handle on them. Finally he pounced on the only words he could grasp. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Huh? Whaddya mean?” The merman tilted his head to one side. Kaito saw that the water was shallow enough for him to prop himself up on his hands to raise his head above the surface. His tail was stretched out behind him, resting against the sand. “I sort of live here. The question is, what are you doing here?”

“I was just… wait, you’re still here even after you got caught by those guys?”

“Well duh, they can’t do anything to me. The only reason why they caught me that first time was because I made a teensy mistake. Won’t happen again. ‘sides, they don’t know that I make my home around here, so it’s all good. Unless someone tells on me, but you wouldn’t do that to poor widdle me, riiight?” he asked, once again flashing him those needle-sharp teeth. “Now answer my question. What’re you doing here, knowing that there was an evil merman hanging out right here?”

Evil? Kaito didn’t understand that descriptor. He shook his head, more to get the water out of his ears than in response to anything. “I was just curious. I… wanted to see you again, if I could.”

The merman laughed at him, and his ears burned in embarrassment from his reaction. “That’s so stupid. Didn’t you know? Merpeople are evil and ruthless. I could kill you with one hand tied behind my back.” He dragged himself along the bottom of the water, closer to him, and he rested a scaly cheek against one of Kaito’s raised knees. “But actually, it’s a good thing you did come here. You wanna know why?”

Kaito was too stunned to do more than ask, “Why?”

The creature moved again, closer, slinking around Kaito’s knees. He curled his fingers into the front of Kaito’s shirt and hoisted himself up, directly into his lap. Kaito had no idea how to react. A merman sat right in his lap and smiling almost sweetly right up at him directly after laughing at him and threatening him. He opened his mouth, about to say something even if he didn’t know what the hell kind of words to even voice, but the merman cut him off by leaning his face in so close that Kaito could feel his breath on his face.

“I wanted to thank you for saving my life. Even though I totally didn’t need the help, it’s still sweet in a stupid kind of way.”

“I—that’s kind of a shitty way to say thanks,” he said finally, unsure whether to frown or to just continue staring. He should probably shove the merman off of him, but his hands stung with the reminder of the last time he put them on this guy.

“Is it? Sorryyyy. Here, how ‘bout this?” He spoke with honey in his voice, and a playful lilt to his tone. Kaito didn’t know what to make of it, or of anything that was happening for that matter. “As thanks, I’ll give you a kiss. For my knight in shining armor, nee-heehee.”

What?

“What?” he echoed his thought out loud, stunned and bewildered. “…I mean. What?”

The merman laughed again. He pulled his head back again, leaning back against Kaito’s raised knees. “Oh man, you should see your face right now! You’re too easy to mess with!”

Kaito responded by dropping his legs. The merman let out a yelp, splashing back into the water. He pushed himself up quick enough though, and the amusement in his expression hadn’t faded a bit.

“Wow you’re so mean,” he said, not looking put out at all. “But I’m really bored and you’re kinda fun! So how about this: let’s play together some more. I want to know all about the dumb heroic idiot who saved my life, and I’ll even let you look at my cute little self as well. It’s win-win for both of us.”

“What? What makes you think that I’ll want to come back here, you little shit?” He couldn’t believe how obnoxious this merman was. Part of him regretting coming back here.

“Because!” he chimed out, grinning wide. “What human doesn’t want the privilege of hanging out with something from one of his fantasies!”

Alright, he had a point. Disregarding his wording, he did have a point.

Though Kaito didn’t respond, his face must have said plenty, because the merman gave a satisfied nod. “Alright then, it’s settled! I can’t wait to mess with you lots more in the future! It’ll be sooo much fun. For me, of course.”

Kaito had no idea what he was getting himself into. He cleared his throat, too baffled about this turn of events to make a good coherent response. “…sure. Ok then.”

Evidently it was enough of an answer for the merman. The end of his fin splashed lightly in the water before him, similar to the way a puppy might wag his tail. It was almost adorable, how delighted he seemed just from Kaito’s agreement to meet up with him again in the future. Almost so, if scales and the lingering smell of fish could be considered cute in any way.

“Perfect! Oh, and by the way, I’ll even tell you my name since I like you so much. It’s Kokichi. You should feel honored—you’re the only human I’ve ever told it too.”

#oumota #drv3 #danganronpa v3 #kokichi ouma #kaito momota #Fish Bait #mermaid au

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writing-muse · 7 years

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Ma vhenan ma ghilana. Part 16.

Solavellan fanfic with a twist. Complying with the original story but with a few surprises. They will be revealed along the way. ‘Solavellan hell’ is real. Please join me for this story where I try to add my own bits and pieces and ask questions. Also, there will be a slight twist to the main plot. Surprising? Maybe! Expected? Not at all.

“I wish the dwarf was with us.” Dorian muttered to Bull as they sat around the campfire. He was cleaning the dirt from under his nails while Bull was polishing his maul. The Qunari stopped his work to look at the Mage.

“You think he would have helped?”

Dorian shrugged, his worried expression buried in Triss’ back. She sat some distance away from the camp, sipping her tea. Alone.

“I don’t know,” the mage admitted.

“I think the elven apostate would have been a better choice,” Bull remarked.

Dorian shot a glance in his direction. “So you’ve noticed.”

“Yeah,” the big guy admitted. “They try very hard to deny it but there is something going on between them.”

“I thought it was like a big thing between them. With all the looks he gives her.” The human mused.

“He’s hiding something, that’s for sure. But he cares about her.” The Qunari laid down his maul and took off his boots. His feet were cold and wet as everything else due to the constant rain. “Argh, this place is horrible. I don’t mind rain but this constant wetness in the air just gives me chills.”

“You’re not complaining about the never ending trail of undead?” Up till now the Warden sat quietly to the side. His coat was off and he was trying to warm his toes.

“The undead are fine, I mean, to kill. It’s the weather that sucks.” Bull admitted with a wide grin. “It would be great if someone shared their flask with us. It may turn out to be actually not so dreadful then.” He grinned even more widely in the Mage’s direction.

Dorian rolled his eyes but procured the flask and passed it to Bull.

“Shall I go and talk to her?” He asked after a few moments of quiet which was filled with appreciating gasps over the fine liquor from both of his companions.

“Maybe she needs some time to herself,” Blackwall suggested.

“She had a lot of time to herself. I think too much time, actually.” Dorian stretched his arms and then covered himself more firmly with his coat. Bull ran his eye appreciatively over his form but did not comment.

“She’s been extremely quiet these last couple of days, that’s true. That shit in Redcliffe must have been tough on her.” Bull remarked looking over at her form. She was still sitting near the lake, in the rain, holding to the cup of, by now, a cold tea.

“You have not seen her in Redcliffe. When she saw the others sick and oozing red… it was horrible but she held it together. And then she saw Solas and… well... just fell apart. Both of them actually. It’s like the tam that held all the emotions broke down and this was a drop too much.”

“Solas? Falling apart?” Bull mused. “This, I’d like to see.”

“He’s always so calm and composed. It’s unnerving sometimes.” Blackwall remarked.

“Yeah… so for him to fall part…it must be something.” Bull checked his gauntlet and sighed seeing a few new dents. He should have accepted the new armour the Herald offered him. He didn’t want to wear it here though preferring to check it upon their return. Now he decided it wasn’t a good idea to wait.

“Maybe I should not have said anything,” Dorian commented standing up and walking closer to the fire. He stared at the flames for awhile, being oblivious to the look the Qunari was giving him.

“Nah, you’re worry about her. Like we all.” Bull smiled when Dorian looked at him. “But I think they need to figure it out for themselves. They need to talk. And I have not seen them talking since Redcliffe.”

“You’re not with her all the time, though.”

“No. But I saw her either running around Haven with the herbs or training with Cullen’s soldiers or helping Harrit with armours. And it was only three days before we left.”

“You may be right.” Dorian admitted. “I have seen her passing by to see Adan but she walked away when Solas called after her.”

“Then she’s been avoiding him.” Blackwall grunted.

“Seems like it.” Dorian agreed, his eyes glued to the flames. “Maybe they should talk after we’re back from here.”

“Yes, that would be preferable.” The Qunari grunted and wiggled his toes.

‘You’re overthinking this’, I told her. Triss has been worried too much now. The stress and the emotions were running through her and instead of dealing with them she chose to deny them. I would not let them to consume her.

I know what I need to do. I don’t need your help in this matter.

‘You are running away. Hiding behind duty and tasks to fill your time. You’d be better to face him and the consequences.’

Do you even know… how frustrating that is? Oh yes, you probably do know!

‘I know you have feelings for him. Deeper than you are ready to admit.’

The feeling of uneasiness and frustration ran through her but she held her tongue. The cold tea mug got deposed on the ground next to her wet feet. She put the blanket closer around her. It did not keep the rain from making her wet or shiver all over. She needed to get under a roof to get at least a small amount of heat.

‘Go back to camp and change your clothes. You should not get sick but I would not chance it.”

She snickered but got up and walked back to camp. The empty mug dangled from her frozen fingers.

“Ah, I’m glad you decided to join us,” Dorian’s happy grin lighten his face when he greeted her.

She chuckled at him. “Thanks. I’ll go to change. I think I am wet.” And she disappeared in a tent.

“That’s exactly what a man loves to hear from his lady,” Blackwall’s soft comment made the others laugh.

“I bet that’s what the elf would love to hear from her,” Bull admitted quietly and winked at Dorian. “You think he would like to?”

Dorian checked the content of his flask only to discover it being empty. “I’m sure he would. He is a man and has his needs after all. Like all of us.” He sighted. Here it went his back-up plan on keeping himself warm. Now, he would have to rely solely on his magic to keep the chill out. And the rain. And the wetness. And the wind. He sighed again.

“We’ll welcome your assistance,” Triss informed the big Avvar warrior when he requested to join the Inquisition. Then he turned away and started walking to their camp.

“Wait!” She shouted. “You may as well help us with escorting our soldiers.” The warrior nodded and once she checked on her companions they all went back to the Inquisition camp.

The journey back to camp was about defending the wounded soldiers and fighting the ever-spawning spirits. Dorian noticed that Triss gritted her teeth too many a time to be comforting. She pushed forward and fought every enemy but her heart was not in it. This needed to be addressed. Luckily, in that old Grey Warden cache they found old artefacts along with a few bottles of fine Antivan wine. Not his favourite but it would do.

At the camp the soldiers had put a makeshift roof above it so the camp get a bit drier than on their previous visit. The Avvar warrior was currently sharing a bottle with the Qunari who was telling him about one of his adventures with the Chargers. Blackwall went aside to check on their equipment and was trying to make sure everybody got weapons according to their skills. The freshly arrived soldiers brought many supplies which were dearly needed in this place. Many of them were to stay here to make sure that nobody got the same idea as the Avvar chief’ son. Dorian used this moment to navigate around the camp and evading the ever working Inquisition soldiers to get to Triss. The others were giving her a wide berth talking in hushed whispers about what she can do once she sets her mind to it. He could not deny that they mirrored his own thoughts. Her resolve and willingness to assist others seemed to be boundless. And yet, he recognised that others saw her as a figure and not a person; scared and struggling. He saw that in Redcliffe and he vowed to himself that he would make sure to do everything in his power to keep her from harm.

“Ah, there you are.”

Triss spared him a glance from above the book she was reading. Her feet were extended towards the fire. Her clothes were mostly dried by now. She took the mug filled with wine without a single question. This bode well.

“I was curious what you thought about this.” He admitted sitting next to her. He was trying to make her feel comfortable to breach the subject of the apostate without any of the soldiers overhearing them. There was no need for more gossips.

“Do you need anything?” She asked tilting her head. She closed her book and put it in her lap.

“Just wanted to talk. That’s all.”

“Of course.” She nodded while staring into the fire.

“It’s good we got them all alive. It will help the morale.” He nodded towards the soldiers sitting at the edges of the camp and cleaning their armour and weapons. He could see Blackwall moving between them. It seemed that the Warden was accustomed to giving orders and caring after those under his command.

“Yes.” That all she said before drinking half of the wine.

“You know I am a good listener once you’ve decided to talk to me,” he supplied quietly. “I know that Redcliffe is bothering you but I’m here. Whatever you need.”

She flinched at the word Redcliffe. Then she drank the rest of the wine and passed him the mug for a refill. Which he did diligently. He decided not to stop her tonight. Maybe that’s what she needed. His eyes caught Bull’s eye and the big guy nodded almost imperceptibly at them. Damned Ben Hassrath. He met enough of them in Minrathus to be wary; and yet here was the embodiment of their power; a big and impossibly skilled spy for the Qunari. Why she decided to accept his help was beyond his comprehension. Maybe she did not realise the extent of their skills? Oh well, this issue will need to wait. There was something else he needed to talk about tonight.

“What I need Dorian is to forget about it. Not to talk more.” Her voice was strained and hoarse.

‘Da’len, you need to talk about it.’

Fuck off. I don’t.

‘Since when do you swear?’

Since now. Fenedhis woman, get lost. I’m trying to get drunk so I don’t have to think about this. And…

“…with you here it’s difficult to forget.”

“I’m sorry to bring back those memories but…”

She sighed. She did it again. Said things she thought out loud. Closing her eyes made her head spin a bit. Good. She needed to let go for a moment. A bit of elfroot would have helped. She should have taken a supply from the camp but it was usually Solas who had a bit of it on him so… Fenedhis, her thoughts returned to him again. How was she to forget about the red lyrium and that horrible possible future if she keeps seeing it oozing from her friends and killing them slowly?

‘Just let go.’

Easy to say.

‘Let go da’len. You’ll be fine.’

She took a long deep breath. “It’s not your fault Dorian that I keep thinking about Redcliffe,” she admitted playing with the half full mug. “Everybody who was there actually reminds me of it. Of what I could lose if I do not follow through. If I fail. And it seems that I do not try to forget about it.” The rest of the wine was drown in one go from her mug. Its empty content shoved towards the Mage. He picked up the new bottle and filled the mug. And then his own.

“I’m scared that I will fail. And then I’m scared that I will not. If that makes sense? What if we discover that there is something more to it? Just like Cassandra said, we need to find who is responsible for it and end them. But they may be something a bit more what we anticipated. And I guess… I’m scared of finding exactly that.”

“I would take small steps first. Maybe trying to survive tonight first, then come back to Haven and then move to the next thing? If you concentrate on big things they may be overwhelming but if you take small steps they may actually be feasible and easier to digest?”

She sighed. “You don’t know what-“ her voice failed her.

A few moments of silence stretched between them. The soldiers were laughing and exchanging jokes and bottles. Cheery that they survived. Grateful.

“What did he do?” Dorian’s voice reached her ears.

“He didn’t want to hear about what’s happened. He said he knew enough to be sure that he would not survive without me being here. He didn’t want to-know about…how he-“ she willed her tears to subside. Took a few sips of the wine before continuing. “-he didn’t care. As if it was nothing what we witnessed.”

“Vishante kaffas,” Dorian muttered under his breath. No wonder she had a hard time after Redcliffe. The person who was holding her hand and encouraging her throughout their escape from the Redcliffe castle; the person who looked at her with such tenderness and love was gone; to be replaced by the cold bitchy apostate who can stick a stick up his arse! Kaffas! That was it! He was to have a few words to say to that elf, that’s for one. Maybe also treat him to a fireball or something.

“I know that for him it’s just a possibility… but for me it was real. So real, Dorian. I just can’t-” her voice wavered again, “I can’t simply forget it. And the way he behaved. I remember every second of it. Every single gesture and word. And he-he simply doesn’t want to hear about it. I just,” she sighed and put the mug on the ground, “don’t know what to think anymore.”

Dorian was studying her for a long while. An Elven young woman, clearly intelligent and committed to the cause, working hard to achieve the goals, with good heart and cheerfulness so unlike any elves he met. There was kindness to her, a warmth which attracted others to her. And a beautiful smile and glint in her eye.

She barely was the same after Redcliffe. So, the only way to restore her was to convince the apostate to listen. That’s all she needed. For him to take a moment of his ‘precious’ time and listen to her. If not, Dorian was the one to tell him. His mind. Oh yes. They were returning to Haven after all. And then, he would have a few especially selected words to share with Solas.

That was the plan. And if Dorian decided on something… it usually happened.

previous chapters on AO3

#ma vhenan ma ghilana #follow your heart #triss lavellan #triss #solas #solavellan #lavellan #17102017 #writing #my writing

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artificialqueens · 7 years

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Favorite (Katlaska) Chapter 4 - Aliena

AN: Once again, thank you so much for your lovely comments!

Just a note, this is set during the Christmas Queens tour, but please, don’t look for accuracy in the details, because chances are you won’t find them.

Also, when I said this was going to be five chapters, I was apparently wrong. Because these bitches talk to much.

Anyway, this is chapter 4, the obligatory h/c chapter. :)

Alaska slightly regrets pointing out Phi Phi’s obvious crush the next morning when she watches Katya flirt with Phi Phi over breakfast. It’s amusing only because of how obviously flustered it’s making Phi Phi. She doesn’t look up when Detox sits down next to her. ”Something you want to talk about?” Detox asks after regarding the scene quietly for a few minutes. ”No,” Alaska says shortly, as Phi Phi reacts to something Katya says by knocking over her coffee. ”Okay, then,” Detox says mildly and they watch Phi Phi trying to help a hysterically laughing Katya wipe coffee of her t-shirt in silence. ”Sorry,” Alaska says then. ”I just… I think I’m coming down with something, it’s really annoying.” It’s true, she woke up tired, with a headache and a sore throat. She thought tea would help, but it hasn’t so far. ”That sucks,” Detox says succinctly, making a face. ”You should get some more sleep, we don’t have anything we need to do before the show tonight.” Katya is now removing her t-shirt. Because that’s apparently the kind of thing Katya does at breakfast. ”Yeah,” Alaska says, tearing her eyes away. She needs a lie down. The lie down turns into a three hour nap, but she’s still feeling exhausted as they prepare for the show. She wanders aimlessly around the dressing room she shares with Katya and Detox, listening to them chatting, trying to get her energy going, a can of Red Bull in her hand. Her hair and make-up is already done, as always she’s the first one ready. She comes to a stop behind Katya, watching as Katya applies the usual generous amounts of black eyeliner. Katya’s eyes meet hers in the mirror and she stops talking in the middle of a sentence. ”What?” she asks. ”Have I got something on my face?” ”You’ve never got anything on your face apart from eyeliner and lipstick, you lazy bitch,” Detox grumbles, but Katya’s still looking at Alaska. ”No,” Alaska says. ”Just, you look pretty.” ”Thank you!” Katya says, with that tiny little note of surprise in her voice that Alaska has come to recognize every time someone pays her a compliment. There’s a pointed cough, and Alaska rolls her eyes before turning to Detox. ”Yes, you’re pretty too.” ”Thank you,” Detox says, in a perfect imitation of Katya. ”But you’re always pretty,” Alaska can’t help saying. ”With Katya is such a rare occurrence, that I feel it should be recognized and encouraged.” ”You rotted cunt!” Katya screeches, and turns in her chair to grab hold of Alaska, but Alaska quickly moves out of her reach as she starts laughing. The laugh quickly turns into a cough though, and when it stops Katya and Detox are looking concerned. ”I’m fine!” she says, before they have a chance to ask. ”I’m just dying from old age waiting for you to get ready.” ”Well, if you’re that bored,” Katya says, holding up a brow pencil. ”Want to do my brows for me again? I’ve never looked as good as when you did them the other day.” ”Those were day walker brows though,” Alaska says as she takes the pencil from Katya’s hand and sits down next to Katya, dragging Katya’s chair closer, until Katya’s legs are in between her own. ”You can’t have day walker brows for a show.” ”Oh, I want runway brows, mama,” Katya says, tilting her head up for Alaska. Alaska purses her lips. ”But then your brows won’t match the rest of your face,” she says, and manages to keep a straight face as Katya gasps and Detox starts laughing so hard she has to put her mascara down. ”Now I know how Jinkx felt,” Katya says. ”From now on I’m only touring with Trixie.” ”Yeah, because Trixie never calls you out on your shit,” Alaska says disbelievingly. Katya sinks lower into the chair. ”No one loves me,” she laments, but suddenly her eyes light up.

”Phi Phi!” she calls, as the other queen walks past the door. Phi Phi stops and steps into the room. ”You’re a wonderful, talented and lovely person!” Katya continues. Alaska could swear Phi Phi blushes. ”What?” ”We should go on tour, just you and me, and none of these other horrible gila monsters,” Katya says. ”Clever,” Alaska says, grabbing Katya’s chin to keep her still, ”insulting the person who is drawing on your face.” Katya widens her eyes comically, and freezes, remaining absolutely still apart from the smile threatening to break out on her lips. Phi Phi’s eyes dart between Katya and Alaska, and then she shakes her head. ”Yeah, I’m not getting into whatever this is,” she says, holding her hands up as she backs out of the room. ”Sorry,” Alaska says, as she deems Katya’s first eyebrow satisfactory and starts on the other one. ”You’re stuck with the snake lady.” ”I always wanted a pet snake when I was a kid,” Katya says wistfully. Alaska frowns. ”Really?” Katya has never struck her as a pet kind of person. ”No,” Katya admits with a sigh. ”But I wanted to be the kind of kid who wanted a pet snake.” ”I miss my cat,” Alaska says, and if she has to blink rapidly a few times, it’s only because her eyes are tired. Katya doesn’t say anything, but reaches out to pat Alaska’s thigh sympathetically, her hand remaining there while Alaska finishes painting with neat, tiny strokes of the pencil. She goes over both brows with a different shade, and then leans back. ”Done.” Katya bats her eyelashes, to little effect since she doesn’t have her fake ones on yet. ”How do I look?” ”Gorgeous,” Alaska says, and then, to make up for her earlier comments. ”You always look gorgeous.” Their eyes lock, and Katya looks like she’s just about to say something, when Alaska is overtaken by another fit of coughing and has to turn away. When she turns back Katya is holding out a water bottle that Alaska gratefully accepts. ”Maybe you should sit this one out,” Katya suggests, but Alaska shakes her head before Katya even finishes the sentence. ”It’ll be fine,” she says, smiling brightly. ”I’m doing fine.” Halfway through the show she’s no longer so confident. She’s standing back stage with Katya keeping her company, waiting to go on after Detox. ”I’m tired,” she sighs, leaning against the wall. That’s only the start of it. Her throat is sore, her head is pounding and her eyes are stinging, and all she wants to do is go to bed. Katya runs her fingers through the long blond strands of Alaska’s wig, and hums in agreement. ”Don’t tell me I told you so,” Alaska says. ”I would never.” They listen to Detox for a moment, Alaska trying to breathe deeply without succeeding much. ”The air in here is really stuffy, right?” she asks. ”It’s disgusting,” Katya says. ”Speaking of disgusting air, I need a cigarette.” ”Noo,” Alaska complains, grabbing hold of Katya’s arm. ”I’m going to fall asleep if you leave me alone here.” ”Okay,” Katya says easily, continuing wrapping a strand of hair around her fingers. ”Only because you’re my favorite, though. You know how seriously I take my smoke breaks.” ”I’m touched and honored,” Alaska says, leaning into Katya’s touch. Katya hums. ”I’m just going to ask you once more. Are you sure you should even go on stage?” ”I’m fine,” Alaska lies, but by the look on Katya’s face she’s not convincing. As she goes on stage for her solo, she soon has to admit that Katya was right. She knows she’s not doing her best, and it’s killing her. The audience still cheers loudly, but she doesn’t get why, because she knows she doesn’t deserve it. She loses the lyrics twice, and starts coughing at the end of the second refrain. When she’s finally done, and Manila’s taking over the stage, she stumbles into the dressing room, overcome by a sudden spell of dizziness. Katya, who is the only one in there, frowns. ”You look like death warmed over.” ”I feel like death cold over. Chilled over.” She groans and slumps down in the chair next to Katya, who leans over and puts her hand on Alaska’s forehead. ”Yeah, you definitely have a fever. I’ll go talk to Michelle and we’ll figure out a way to make the closing number work without you.” ”No!” Alaska grabs hold of Katya’s hand. ”Don’t, it’ll be fine. I can manage.” ”Alaska, you’re sick. No one will hold it against you if you sit out a number.” ”Yes, they will, the audience out there will, and it’ll be on YouTube, and people will think that I think I’m too good for it it something, and they already hate me enough and I’m too tired to deal with that shit right now.” To her shame she can feel tears rising in her eyes, and even though she knows it’s more because of feeling unwell than anything else, she blinks frantically and looks down on the ground to keep Katya from noticing them. She probably doesn’t succeed, because when Katya replies her voice is unusually soft. ”Okay,” she says, and turns the hand that Alaska’s still holding so that their fingers laces together. ”Okay, we’ll think of something.” They remain like that for a moment, before Katya rises to fetch a sweater that she puts over Alaska’s shoulders. Then she gently removes Alaska’s wig, telling her that she can put another one on for the last number, one that doesn’t weigh half a ton. Alaska folds her arms on the table, putting her head down on them, as Katya gently runs her fingers through her boy hair. ”It’s all sweaty,” she protest weekly, her voice muffled by her arms. ”It’s fine,” Katya says. ”I’m the sweatiest women in show biz, this is nothing new to me.” Alaska closes her eyes, and sniffles quietly. ”Hey, can either of you lend me a…” Phi Phi stops abruptly as she comes into the room. ”Is everything okay?” ”Alaska has a fever, and possibly whatever Nicole Kidman died of in Moulin Rouge, but is determined that the show must go on,” Katya says, without halting the movement of her fingers on Alaska’s scalp. ”Oh, that sucks,” Phi Phi says, coming closer to put her hand on Alaska’s back, rubbing it gently. ”Do you need anything?” ”Could you find some ibuprofen?” Katya asks. ”And tell Michelle.” ”Don’t tell…” Alaska starts, but Katya interrupts her. ”We’re telling Michelle,” she says firmly. ”And frankly, if you don’t think she’ll notice the moment she sees you, you’re severely underestimating her maternal instincts.” ”I hate this,” Alaska says, not sure just what she’s referring to. She’s just so tired. ”It’ll be fine,” Katya promises, repeating Alaska’s mantra for the day. Somehow, Alaska believes Katya more than herself. Phi Phi returns with a couple of pills, a bottle of water, and Michelle, who takes one look at Alaska and sighs. ”For the record, this is a horrible idea,” she says. But Alaska knows that Michelle knows her, and she’s proven numerous times how stubborn she is, so Michelle just rounds up the others and comes up with a plan. They audience probably thinks they’ve all gone batshit insane. Detox gives the front row a bonus close up look of her (almost completely bare) ass. Katya does an extra slow split, and the audience goes wild when Manila and Phi Phi try to copy her, failing miserably. No one cares or even notices if Alaska messes up a step, or stops singing in the middle of a verse where she’s standing behind Michelle, who is pretending not to notice a thing that goes on onstage. Alaska kind of wants to cry again. She fucking loves these queens. She makes it through the number, waves at the audience as she leaves the stage and collapses against a wall as soon as she’s off. From the corner of her eye she can see Detox and Phi Phi dragging Katya offstage on her back, each holding on to one of her legs. Michelle kneels down beside her. ”There’s a car outside, waiting to take you back the hotel. Katya’s going to go with you, okay?” Alaska nods. ”Thanks,” she says, and Michelle’s arm comes around her shoulders. ”You did really well tonight, sweetie,” she says, and kisses Alaska’s temple. She barely remembers the ride back to the hotel, or how she gets into Katya’s room. Katya removes her wig and jewelry for her, helping her unzip her dress and then pushes her into the shower. ”You’ll feel better, I promise,” she says, and leaves the door the bathroom open, asking Alaska once every other minute if she’s still alive. When Alaska finally steps out of the shower, there’s a t-shirt and clean underwear waiting for her by the vanity. She avoids looking at herself in the mirror while she brushes her teeth, knowing there’ll be plenty of traces of makeup left on her face. Katya holds the cover up for her, gesturing for her to get into bed. ”I’m just going to grab a shower. Do you need anything?” ”You don’t have to stay,” Alaska says as she pulls the cover tighter around her. Everything is slightly foggy. ”I don’t trust you not to die on me,” Katya says. ”Also, it’s my room.” ”You shouldn’t get sick, though. You can take my room. Or you could go sleep with Phi Phi.” ”I’m not going to sleep with Phi Phi,” Katya says softly. ”Good,” Alaska mumbles into the pillow. (”I do not remember saying anything of the sort,” she lies much later when Katya inevitably brings it up. ”Sounds like a pathetic thing to say.” Katya grins. ”Don’t even try to deny it. And it was cute. If you hadn’t been sick, I would have done unspeakable things to you right there and then.) She expects to fall asleep immediately, but doesn’t. Instead she lies awake, listening to the oddly comforting sounds of the shower running and Katya moving around in the bathroom. When Katya finally gets into bed and turns off the light, Alaska closes her eyes, only to realize that even though her body is exhausted, her brain is wide awake, going over every little mistake she made on stage. She tries to avoid tossing and turning, waiting for Katya’s breathing to even out in the unmistakable pattern of sleep, but instead, Katya sighs. ”I can hear you think,” she says quietly. ”You’re practically vibrating.” ”Sorry,” Alaska says, barely more than a whisper. ”Mind going into overdrive.” ”You know no one who actually matters think that of you, though, right?” Katya asks suddenly.

Alaska would like to pretend she doesn’t know what Katya is talking about, but realizes that having Katya bring up their conversation in the dressing room would be worse. ”Most days I do,” she says, which is the truth. But then there are the times when she scrolls through her twitter mentions, and every other comment is a snake emoji, or when there are more mentions of Katya’s name than her own on one of her Instagram posts. ”Other days, not so much.” Suddenly the light is turned on, and Alaska closes her eyes tightly against the sudden brightness, but she still manages to catch a glimpse of Katya rising on her elbow. ”You are so fucking talented,” Katya says fiercely, and Alaska can’t help but open her eyes to see Katya’s face above her. ”No one deserved that crown more than you, especially not me.” ”They love you so much, though,” Alaska says. She’s not exactly jealous, more… wistful. Katya snorts. ”That’s because I’m mentally ill, and therefore more relatable. You’re more polished. People find that intimidating.” She looks down on Alaska with a wry smile. ”If they only knew how relatable you were right now.” Then her face grows serious. ”You know I’m sorry about it, right?” Alaska frowns. ”What?” ”I know it’s mostly my fans giving you so much crap,” Katya says. ”I’ve tried to stop it, but it doesn’t seem to make much of a difference.” ”Don’t be stupid,” Alaska says, and yawns. Her eyes are drifting shut again. ”I’d never in a million years blame you. It’s not like you’re their actual queen, ruling every little thing they do, sitting in your ivory castle.” The image is so absurd it makes her giggle. Hello, fever delusions. ”I could if I wanted to, though, mother,” Katya says, as she turns the light off again. Alaska giggles again, and falls asleep. She’s not sure if the feeling of lips pressing against her forehead right before sleep overtakes her is real or imaginary, but in any case, it’s nice.

#favorite #katlaska #aliena #katya zamolodchikova #alaska thunderfuck #detox icunt #phi phi o'hara #rpdr fanfiction #submission #favorite by aliena #canon compliant

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commanderlurker · 7 years

Text

Tuesday

Monday

Cullen’s wearing his blue shirt. Must be Tuesday. Fuck, how can it only be Tuesday? Jesus Christ. At least I brought lunch today. Sure it’s left over pizza, but still, making an effort, right? I’ll get that loaf of bread on my way home tonight. Definitely.

Urg. Whose salad is that in the fridge? Right. Dorian. Who else could’ve made it. Wonder what else’s in here. Let’s see… yoghurt, more yoghurt, some kind of soup. Not sure if it started life as soup but it’s soup now. Ew. Gross. That one’s a biohazard. I’ll just… yeah. Close the fridge.

Coffee? Anyone want coffee? Just me? Well, I am the only one here.

Oh thank the Lord, the coffee machine is fixed. And I’ve got my special cup. Yes. Today is going to be a good day. I can feel it in my loins.

“Morning, Lou.” Speaking of loins...

“Hey, Bull. How’s it?” Yes, today is going to be a very good day. God. Look at him. Like, really look at him with his top buttons undone showing a scandalous amount of chest. “I like your shirt.” Yes. Good. Nice excuse to be staring at his chest.

“Thanks. Had it a while. You’re looking happy today.”

Oh my God. Don’t blush. Just smile. Yeah, that’s a good one. “Well, I got coffee. What more could I want?” You to lay your hands all over me. Just once. Or twice.

“Heh. I know, right? See you round.”

Okay. Got my coffee fix. Got my Bull fix. No mail duty for me. Straight into work. Clear out those emails. Ha! Cassandra’s done the reply all to the Friday night drinks email. Classic. And Blackwall’s gotten in on it too. These guys. Ah, shit. What’s this? System upgrade… Change to payment cut off… Fuck. Fuck and shit why did this have to happen. Now I have to have all my invoices processed by lunchtime! This is bull shit. I’m calling my union rep. Except I’m not in the union, am I? What one would I be in? Is there a union for generic office drones?

Just hunker down and do your work, Lou. It’s only one day. Got that raid to look forward to tonight, remember? The whole guild’s gonna be there. Aww yeah. Get in.

Work work work work work. Something something work work work. I don’t think she was singing about this kind of work…

Oh, and there’s Solas. Late as usual. With an even bigger cup of coffee this time. Maybe he keeps his ego in there.

Urg. This provider hasn’t totaled the hours. God. Do I have to do everything for them? Where’s my calculator? No, come on Lou, use your head. Give that brain a workout. Right. Three and a quarter, plus four and a half, plus three and three quarters… I don’t have any quarter length fingers… watch. I’ll draw a watch face… and… okay. Does that look right? That doesn’t look right. Gonna add it up again. Same answer. Still doesn’t look right. Fuck it. Gonna check with the calculator. Doop doop doop. And I was right! Would you look at that! Genius. I knew that arts degree would come in handy.

Woah, hey! Where did these forms come from? They just appeared! Out of nowhere! Where’s Leliana? She must have dropped them off without saying anything. Or maybe I was so engrossed with my work that I didn’t notice her. I should thank her next time I see her.

Right. God. Look at them all. What’s the time? Morning tea time yet? Please let it be ten--

Nine fifteen.

Why God! Whhhhy? How can this be?

“Are you okay there?”

Shit. Caught having an existential breakdown. Say something, Lou. Cullen’s staring at you like you’re having a stroke. Am I having a stroke? No. You’re being a fucking idiot. “Yeah, I’m good. No worries. Thanks.”

“Okay then. I was wondering about this invoice…” What’s this? Cullen asking for my advice? My opinion? Like I know what I’m talking about. Jesus. He’s kinda leaning into me. He smells pretty good. Freshly showered and with some musky masculine deodorant. My god. I’m not attracted to him, am I? He is kinda hot. God, don’t go there Lou. One office crush is enough. You don’t need two.

“Yeah, so I think that one is the client number, and that one is the customer number. I think they just got them around the wrong way. No need to send it back though.” That sounded helpful. And I think I even managed to say the right thing.

“You don’t think?”

“About sending it back? No. I mean, that client is only in the system as a client, so they’re clearly not a customer as well. There’s no confusion. Other than that they’ve put the numbers in around the wrong way.”

He’s tapping his chin and frowning. Why is he making such a big deal about this? Just use your initiative, Cullen! I know you’ve got it! That’s why you wear the same shirts on the same days every fucking week! You’re an individual!

“Hmm, I’m not sure. I think I’ll check with Vivienne.”

“But--”

“Thanks, Lou.”

What the fuck, Cullen? You come all the way over here to ask for my advice and you’re just going to ignore it anyway? Jesus Christ. What’s the point of me even being here. Fine.

God, I’m thirsty. Tea. I’ll go make a tea. But morning tea is soon. I can last.

No. No I can’t. Gonna make tea.

No one in the break room. Good. I can scratch my arse. And look out the window. Look at all that sunshine. Look at it all. And look where I am. Breathe, Lou. Give it another year and you’ll have enough saved up to leave and see all the sunshine you want.

Blerg. This milk smells off. Ew, it tastes off too. Gross. I’ll just put it back… No! Don’t do it! Break the cycle! Chuck it out!

Down the sink you go, glug glug glug.

“What are you doing? Stop!” What? Leliana? “I was keeping that.”

For what? Don’t ask. Just apologise. “Sorry. I didn’t know.” Easy does it. Put the lid back on. Put the rancid milk away because Leliana is keeping it. Christ on a cracker. Okay. Lesson learned. Do not use initiative.

I’m just gonna be nice and quiet and no one will bother me. Shit this tea is awful. Should’ve stuck with coffee.

Work work work work work.

Email. Ignore. No, better read it. Hmm. Nope, ignore.

Work work work--god damn that fucking song.

Aaand, it’s time for morning tea. Better not fuck about. Got to get this pay run done by lunchtime because someone is doing a system upgrade. Probably Dorian. Why can’t he do it after hours like a normal person. He probably has a social life. Definitely has a social life. Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself, Lou. You got friends! They just all live in other parts of the country. Or overseas. And you’ve never met them. Or know what they look like. No, I know what Alistair looks like. We’re Instagram friends! And he has a cute doggie. Bet the dog would be better at tanking than him. Anyway. Morning tea.

Got my boiled egg. Got my kiwifruit. One cancels out the effects of the other. Second coffee of the day. And would you look at that? Bull’s waving me over. Only Dorian is making a beeline too. Shit. We’re on a collision course. Outta my way Dorian, that man is mine. Take no prisoners, Lou. Trip the bastard if you have to.

Yes, he’s backed off. That empty spot is all mine. And what a graceful flop onto the couch. Managed a shoulder brush, too. Oh he smiled at me. Best. Day. Ever.

“What’s with the eggs?”

“Huh?” Way to go, Lou.

“The eggs. You have one every day.” Look at him, engaging with you in conversation. You could be the only two people in existence right now.

“They’re healthy, you know? Protein, so I can build my guns. Ha! Not guns like yours though. Yours are something else! Ha ha!” God, I cannot take myself anywhere. “And I just really like peeling boiled eggs.” Why did you say that? What the fuck compelled you to say that? Now he’s going to think you have an egg fetish!

“You ever try duck eggs? They’re pretty good, too.”

“Fuck, yeah! I love them! Hadn’t had them for a while thought. Haven’t seen them in the supermarket.” I’ve never had duck eggs in my life.

“Have you tried that boutique place in the mall? I’ve seen them there before. Quail eggs too. They’re tiny though. Now, ostrich eggs, those are real eggs!” God I love his laugh. He’s amazing. Look at us, talking about eggs. Hey, Bull, I got some eggs you can get your hands on if you know what I mean.

God I hate myself. “The mall you reckon? I’ll hit it up at at lunch time. Cheers.” Ask if he wants to come with you.

“Well, I got to get back to work.”

Damn. Now he’s leaving. Don’t leave. Holy shit this couch is like a waterbed. Don’t think about rolling around on a waterbed with him. And don’t fall into his gravity well.

And he’s gone. Reality flows back in. Right. Everyone else. What are they talking about. Blackwall and his fucking chainsaw. Sera’s staring at Cass like she’s the sun. Or the moon. Something. I don’t know. Dorian. Dorian’s good for a chat. Ask him about that system upgrade. That’ll make it look like you’re engaging with the company and that you care.

Oh, Jesus Mary and Joseph, I didn’t expect to get an entire history lesson on computers. Am I nodding in the right place? What the fuck is an API? Do I have one? How would I know?

Right. All that makes perfect sense. “So…”

“So just make sure your Tuesday payment run is done by one p.m. or your schedule is likely to end up looking like a hoard of buffalo have rampaged through it.”

“Right. Yeah. I better get to it then!” Mutter, mutter, why do I bother.

Payment run. Here we come.

Work work work work--God dammit with that song.

Loading these invoices is going well though. Tuesday’s so much better than Mondays. No shit smeared forms to deal with. Just have to wrangle this spreadsheet so the data imports properly… and something’s out. By ten grand. Fuck. Okay. Don’t panic. You’ve done this before. Bigger numbers are easier to fix than smaller numbers. Ah, here you go. You put an extra zero on this line. Recalculate and… Still out. Fucking shit balls God damn.

Breathe, Lou. Don’t be like Cassandra. Keep those windows closed and that computer inside the building. I need a tea. And a pee. Not in that order. Can’t take my cup to the toilet though. That’s just weird. Fine. Tea room first. Go the long way round so I can spot Bull. Damn. Not there. Okay. Cup dropped off, tea bag in so it doesn’t look like I’m one of those so-called filthy bastards who just dumps their dirty dishes everywhere. And… toilet time. Ooh, could play some Angry Birds. No! No time! Just clearing the head so I can tackle this reconciliation. Round the corner to the loos and… Bull! Leaving the gents. What a pleasant surprise! I wonder if he washes his hands. Kinda don’t care if he doesn’t. Is that gross? It’s gr--

Dorian leaving the gents. And Bull giving his ass what looks to be a friendly and very familiar slap. Quick, hide! Back around the corner.

I knew it. I fucking knew it. That fucking little--wait. Were they leaving the toilets together? Did they… in a bathroom stall? Well fuck me. Except not. Yeah, I really hope he washed his hands. Okay, really need to pee now. Shake those shoulders out, go round the corner and--

Slam face first into Bull’s ample, and may I say, pillowy, chest. Jesus.

“Oh my god, Bull. I’m so sorry! I didn’t see you--”

“Hey, no damage done Lou. Your face okay though?”

“Mmm hmm.” I think my nose is broken. And I really need to pee. “Sorry. Would love to stay and chat but I really need to pee! Bye!”

God fucking dammit. Jesus Christ. Get in there. Sit down. Think about your life. No. Don’t do that. You’ll cry. Don’t cry at work, Lou, please. Just pee, for fuck’s sake. There, ah, yeah, that’s better.

Bull and Dorian. Is it serious? Are they together? Like, boyfriends… or friends with benefits? I hate them both. This shouldn’t surprise me though. Rumor mill says Bull’s had half the office. Not Sera though. Definitely not Sera. Probably not Cassandra either. And not me. Ha! Not me! No, not happy-go-lucky-completely-up-for-it-has-fantasies-involving-photocopiers Lou!

Urg. Just get that payment run done. Got pizza for lunch, remember? And a mission for duck eggs! Don’t forget that! But I’m supposed to be saving my money… But duck eggs. Recommended by Bull. He’s fucking Dorian. What do I care. My life is over.

And I forgot to make the tea. Fuck it. I’m at my desk now.

Email from Leliana. A long and terse email about keeping the kitchen tidy. Ha. And there’s an attachment. Shitting Jesus fuck balls. A photo. Of my cup. Sitting there. On the bench. With a big red arrow that looks like it was added in Paint pointing to the dishwasher. Oh my God. Everyone knows it’s mine because it has my fucking name on it. Oh my God I’m really going to cry now. I have never been more humiliated. I didn’t leave it there negligently! You must understand! I had to go to the toilet and didn’t want to take the cup so I stopped at the tea room first but then I walked in on a private moment between two employees and I was so shaken and upset that I just forgot! Please, don’t make an example of me!

Fuck and here come the reply-alls. Yeah yeah, Blackwall. Laugh it up. Not like you don’t have a whole compost heap of tea bags hidden in your beard.. Ah Jesus, even Cullen is getting in on it. Fuckity fuck trumpets. All of you. I hate you all. I’m going to hand in my resignation. Fuck the pay run. I’ll type it up right now.

Email from Bill. Bull. Is he going to make fun of me, too?

From: Bill Q To: Louise Trevelyan Subject: RE: Re: Re: Please Treat The Kitchen With Respect.

Hey Lou,

D*ck move by Leliana, right? She’s really got it in for you. Don’t know why. You sh*t in her cat milk or something? Don’t let her get to you. Chin up. I got your back.

Bull

Well. That’s nice. No, really. Nice of Bull to send that. Better reply.

From: Louise Trevelyan To: Bill Q Subject: RE: Re: Re: Re: Please Treat The Kitchen With Respect.

Thanks. Yeah. I might’ve poured her rancid milk down the sink this morning. But I didn’t know! The bottle just looked like the regular milk we have and it was off, so I thought I’d use my initiative so we wouldn’t get some bullsh*t email about the fridge being gross. Go me. Won’t bother doing that again.

That’ll do. Hit send. I’m still angry at you though, Bull. Jealous. Envious. Whatever the difference is.

Where was I? Right. Reconciling this fucking pay run. And--

What the shit.

Are you shitting me.

No. Can’t be that simple. Shit. Fucking shit balls! It is that simple! How did I not notice that I was working in the wrong. Fucking. Spreadsheet. Oh my God. Lou. I am going to throttle you.

Get the right spreadsheet up. There. Look. Reconciled first time. Submit. Payment run done.

I can’t fucking believe it. I’m too fucking angry to be relieved. If I’d just paid attention instead of groaning forever then I would have noticed. And I wouldn’t’ve gone to make that cup of tea. And I wouldn’t have seen Bull and Dorian. And I wouldn’t’ve forgotten my tea. And Leliana wouldn’t’ve sent that email. And my life would be fantastic. But instead! You went and did this! To yourself!

Fuck it. I don’t care what time it is. Pay run is done. I’m getting lunch. Have to go into the tea room. The scene of the crime. Hold your head high, Lou. Own it. Wear it. Get your pizza then get the fuck out. Don’t look at that milk.

Right. Got it. Out of here.

And it’s raining. What happened to the sun. Fucking shit balls. Gonna make a dash for my car. Here we go. Keys, keys, gotta get my keys. Don’t drop--

Nice save.

And in. Ah. Good.

Eating pizza in the car at lunch time. Classic Lou. Gonna read. Let my kindle around here somewhere… there. Oh, sauce on the seat. Wipe that off. Cool. Gonna settle down.

Good. book. Good pizza. Makes up for all that shi--who the fuck is that?! Get away! Dorian? It’s just Dorian. Fuck’s sake. Why’s he bothering me and not fucking his boyfriend.

Should wind down the window I suppose. “Yeah?”

“Lou. Have you locked the doors? Let me in. It’s pissing down out here.”

Fine. How does he not look like a drowned rat?

Great. He’s giving me the judgemental-yet-concerned look. “I know Leliana’s email was a bit rude but there’s no need to eat your… that… in the car by yourself.”

“You’re here now.”

“Yes. Quite. Lou,” Oh great. He’s turned to face me. Is this going to be a serious conversation? Is he staging at intervention? “You know I care about you as a sister--”

“What kind of siblings do you have? We’ve never spent more than five minutes outside of work together.”

“I’m an only child.” Huh. Explains a lot.

“Me too.” Explains a lot.

Look at him grinning. Such a charmer. No. I’m angry with him. Remember that.

“Two peas in a pod, you and me.” Dorian. Yeah. A real charmer. “I feel I owe you an apology.”

What? “What for?”

Great. Now he looks rueful. “I feel partly responsible for that email. If you hadn’t seen Bull’s little indiscretion then you woudn’t’ve run off with your tail between your legs and forgotten your tea cup. I know how it is. Can’t take your cup into the toilets and all that.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” That was not convincing, Lou. He knows it, too.

“I know that you know that you saw us. Don’t pretend.”

“Are you two serious? Do you love each other?” Jesus, Lou. Please say yes. Rip the bandage off. It’ll hurt now but your heart will heal quicker.

“Christ, no.” Damn. But that means there’s still hope. “He just drags me off for a quickie every now and then to help keep the stress levels down. Lord knows I need it working there.”

What. “Are you for real?”

“Yes?”

“I hear he’s done half the office.” Yes, Lou, get the gossip out. But sit back. Don’t look so eager. And why’s your fucking seat belt on?

“Ha! I suppose he has. But wait... Oh. Oh I see how it is. Hmm. Yes.” Why’s he patting my leg in a pitiful way? “He hasn’t approached you, has he. No. How odd.”

“What do you mean?”

Dorian, there’s no need to look around to see if anyone’s eavesdropping. We’re in a car. Does add a frisson of mystery to the conversation though. “Bull’s… how do I put this. A giver. A problem solver. A… sexual therapist, in a way. He doesn’t respond to people asking him out, but when he sees someone in need and if he thinks he can help, then he’ll approach that person and…” And what? And what, Dorian? Don’t you dare leave me hanging. “He’s a kinky fucker, let me tell you. But I’ve told you too much already. I must be going.”

“Dorian!” He’s opened the door! “Dorian, get back in the car.” Shit, he’s closed the door. Wind down the window. “Dorian! This isn’t Fight Club! This is my vagina we’re talking about!” Shit. I did not just yell that into the street.

“See you back at the office, Lou!”

Fucking--

And I never went and got those fucking duck eggs. Too late. May as well just head back and… work work work--No. Stop. I am declaring this day officially over. No more thinking.

I quit.

#Actual DA fic #with some adoribull #do I smell a hint of plot?#shit

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