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interviewtion · 7 years

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Niku Gutfuck Interviewtion

In this interview I talked to Texas-based musician Niku Gutfuck about the role of ambient music as a healing tool, the inspirations for their new EP, and the process of focusing on addressing mental health. Q: You’re extremely honest and outspoken about your struggles with mental health. How have those struggles informed and inspired the music you make, especially on this new EP?

A: I've had these issues for a long time but never bothered to talk about them. I never really knew how to. That said, I didn't know how to make art about them either. I didn't even know I had bipolar disorder or OCD until I was diagnosed this year. It all made sense after I was diagnosed, but finding out I just...gave up. I stopped caring. I skipped class, I never went outside, I avoided other people. I just kinda existed.

Relating this to the EP, someone very dear to me who had been a very big part of my life for about two years tried desperately to help me. They tried their best, but the issue is I didn't. I instead, pulled the stupid pity party card multiple times and found myself being like "well, this is just life. Whatever," rather than growing the fuck up and taking the initiative to make things in my life better. Suffering took zero effort. That's why I decided to just be miserable. Eventually, these issues of mine took control.

I said things I didn't mean and acted in ways I never thought I would, all to this person that has always been there for me. I hurt them badly. We ended up going our separate ways. I didn't realize how much their company meant to me and how much I had taken them for granted until they were gone. It was too late. I grew the fuck up too late. I did everything too late.

I found myself remembering that this person always told me that I was one of the few people who truly cared about them. That I was always there for them. That I was very important to them. And in return I gave them a big "fuck you" without even realizing it because I was so clouded by my own self loathing and selfishness. It fucked me up. I considered this person family, and honestly still do. But because of me they are gone. It pains me more than I could ever explain.

This EP is about that. It's about me grieving over losing this person. How much I miss them. How sorry I am. How I decided to start self harming because I couldn't live with myself. How I became even more of a shut in because of my actions. And finally, realizing that I need to change.

It's entirely ambient because I feel like droney ambient music is best at giving off intended emotions. Ambient music is very personal, I feel like lots of people don't realize that. The message behind the EP is "look into yourself, see if your problems are becoming you, and change it before it comes at a price that you would have no choice to pay."

I don't want my listeners to be like me, I want them to learn from me. I don't see myself as a role model. I see myself as a colossal fuck up that's trying to change their ways and NOT be a colossal fuck up. I care so much about all of my supporters and their well being. To be honest, I want to make that person proud despite everything. I hope I am. Take your mental health seriously. You don't want to find comfort in your problems. That's a path that leads to a very dark place.

Q: In your essay on your latest release you talk a little bit about Tamakichi Anaru, so how has his visual work inspired your own music? A: Snuff films used to really interest me in the sense that I never really got what motivated people to do such acts. Anaru-san's work is very very violent and, to be blunt, fucked up in nature ranging from the most heinous acts of violence to straight up gore porn. I find Anaru-san's work to be in a sense some of the most human shit. To explain, we're fucked up.

I have a writer friend named Noah, who once told me that he believes that humans are naturally born evil. Though it isn't as black and white as that, there is some truth to the statement. The human race in general is just fucked up. We spread the message of loving each other through media outlets or to strangers passing by, yet we hurt each other every single day. Slavery, genocide, war, oppression, even things that are on a smaller scale like bullying. This is the shit we do to each other. We make each other miserable.

I feel like, in a way, Anaru-san's work is a manifestation of that. It's fucked up, and in no way do I condone any of it, but at the end of the day all of us have the potential to be fucked up. Some people just choose to hide it behind a mask. Q: What made you end the Midori Kida project in order to start releasing music as Niku Gutfuck? A: Niku Gutfuck started last year, actually. I was releasing very violent harsh noise music, it was straight up a wall of power electronics. The project initially was started because of my experiences with anger issues and obsessive compulsive disorder.

It was meant to portray a feeling of anger. As a society, we look down upon anger. Anger is painted in a negative light all the time, people with bad anger issues are often demonized, and looked at as violent people that just want to inflict pain on others. For the longest time, I shamed myself for it because of that. I believe that we shouldn't be judged for our emotions, but for our actions. Anger is human. We tend to think of humanity as whatever the media portrays humanity as. That feeling of being an outcast due to my issues was initially what inspired Niku Gutfuck.

Midori Kida, however, wasn't at all as deep as that, nor do I think it ever could have been. I was catering. It was me not being myself. It felt like I was making music under someone else’s project. That's a very harmful way to look at doing something you like to do, but it's the truth. I didn't realize just how personal Niku Gutfuck was until very recently, so I decided to keep the name and take the project to new places, while still keeping the themes that were personally significant to me.

Q: How did you choose the name Niku Gutfuck for this project? Are you worried at all that a name like that might turn some people away from listening to the music? A: Originally I just picked it because it sounded violent and angry enough for the context of the music, but after I got tired and upset with Midori Kida, I realized I had some personal connections to it. Like I said, Anaru-san's films depict the ugly fucked up side of humans that we like to pretend doesn't exist. Well, one has to be ridiculously fucked in the head to commit such heinous acts of violence upon another person. To me, it's giving in to your mental health problems. Letting them take control and change you. You're no longer yourself, you're your problems wearing your skin and passing off as you. It makes you harm people, break others, destroy them because your mental health problems grabbed you by the collar and you didn't have the willpower to force them to put you down. Just like I did to my best friend.

Like I said before, I want to make music so people learn from my mistakes, I don't want people to be like me, I want people to LEARN from me. Mental health problems can be fixed with time, willpower, and effort. It takes courage. Something I lacked. And in turn I hurt someone who was very important to me. Niku Gutfuck is supposed to symbolize that. Not even being yourself anymore. Becoming a costume that your paranoia wears to look like you.

I was worried about the name at first, and in a way I still am, but the more I thought about the personal aspects the more I felt like I had to. I'm so obsessed with people being happy honestly. Happiness is the best thing in the world in my opinion. Just seeing someone, anyone, happy makes me emotional and happy too. But while that's something I wanna do with my art, at the end of the day I need to do this for myself too. I do this for other people, but I also do it for me. Art is the only method of self expression that I have. I want to make things for people who need it, but how can I expect my art to help others if it can't even help me first?

Q: What is the appeal of ambient music for you? A: My friend Warren (he makes music as Foxes in Fiction) once described ambient music as "audio xanax". I think that's very accurate. To me, ambient music is the epitome of emotion. A lot of ambient and drone-y experimental music doesn't have a ton going on, and I normally see that as a common complaint with the genre. I, however, think that is fine. There is this science where certain frequencies and tones can make people feel certain emotions. Music can be healing. That inspires me a lot.

Ambient music is a genre I always find myself going back to, especially when things start to become overbearing. You don't have to worry about any drastic changes, it's pretty much just music to remember things to. I enjoy that. I'm a very sentimental and sensitive person, so I remember things in my life a lot. Good and bad. Ambient music tends to be my soundtrack for that.

Q: Who are some of your personal favorite ambient/drone/noise artists? Do you have three albums in those genres you would recommend to people who aren’t familiar with them? A: An artist that has always been there for me is Yuko Imada. In fact, Yuko Imada's "Untitled (Moon)" was pretty much 99% of the inspiration for Everything is Gone. On Seeing has been my favorite song for years, I listen to it when insomnia keeps me up. I Am A Lake of Burning Orchids has also inspired me a ton as well. I also can't go without mentioning Watashi no Koko and Apollo Knives. Since I have quite a few influences for this album, I decided to give five recommendations instead of three, simply because there are a lot I recommend. Yuko Imada - Untitled (Moon) I Am A Lake of Burning Orchids - Summer in My Veins Apollo Knives - The Harshest Winter Watashi no Koko - まごころを君に Nobuto Suda - Modest Calm I also want to point out that the Yume Nikki and .flow soundtracks are fucking fantastic. They inspire me a lot, both of those games are so dear to me.

I really wanna talk about some of the other artists that inspire the album I am working on. Not ambient artists, but I really feel like I should point them out because of how much they all mean to me.

One of my biggest influences is Halsey. She's honestly one of my favorite artists of all time. Her music is so important to me and she's somebody I really really look up to and view as a hero. Her lyrics hit very very close to home to me, I relate so much to them. Reading interviews with her and seeing that she also deals with bipolar disorder makes me feel like I'm not alone. I usually feel like I'm an outcast because of my BPD. Like I shouldn't have anybody close to me and I should remain in solitude cause I'll just end up hurting them by accident. She showed me that my mental health doesn't have to define me. She influences me in so many different ways, in my opinion all of her music is perfect. I honestly can't stress enough how vital Halsey is to me and how much I look up to her haha.

I feel the exact same way about Meishi Smile. Meishi Smile has been one of my favorite music projects for so so long. The amount of raw emotion in the music is so breathtakingly beautiful to me, I've viewed Garrett Yim as a hero since I was a Junior in high school. I've always been obsessed with his countless projects (nono., and the previously mentioned Yuko Imada) and honestly he is one of the reasons I ever started making music in the first place.

Meishi Smile and Halsey both make me feel like somebody gets it. Every day I wake up and feel like I am inhuman. Like, my mental shit makes me some monster that deserves to have nobody. They show me otherwise. I wanna do that for somebody at the end of the day. Show someone that they are not alone.

On another note, I am also very inspired by J-Pop. I really love the works of Yasutaka Nakata, whether it be Perfume, Capsule, or Kyary Pamyu Pamyu (the queen haha). J-Pop just has this sound to it that really makes me gravitate towards it. It sounds very happy on the surface, but if you look deeper it's a very dark genre, a good example being Kyary Pamyu Pamyu's music video for Kira Kira Killer (one of my personal favorite Kyary songs) exploring themes of death.

Tyler the Creator is also a colossal influence on me, he's helped me a lot when it came to dealing with my anger issues and shit. And of course I am also very inspired by Porter Robinson and Madeon, they are also heroes to me. Also, anime haha. Stuff like Danganronpa, Anohana, and Madoka Magica fill me with this weird urge to recreate how those franchises make me feel and how they sound to me.

But I get most of my creative inspiration from my personal experiences. I do lots of venting through art. All of the upcoming album is me doing that. Venting. I have a lot of emotional scars and have so many regrets. This new album is so personal. One song is about how in my state of feeling torn up over what I've done I turned to drugs as a coping mechanism and ended up having this mental breakdown after getting super fucking high. Another is about my dependency issues with self harm and how I've become addicted to cutting and burning myself. It feels weird, honestly. Makes me feel kinda naked, you know? At the same time it feels so good putting feeling into my music. Letting out all my regrets, grudges, and anxieties into a tangible form just feels...good. It's something I wish I've always done rather than make music I'm not proud of. I'm hoping I find myself while making this album.

Q: It seems like video games are an important component of your life, so do you ever see yourself soundtracking a game? A: I've actually thought of this quite a bit. I'd love to in all honesty. I'd soundtrack any game really, but I'd really love to make the ost to a Yume Nikki fangame. Yume Nikki is such an important game, it's amazing that Kikiyama was able to create such a dedicated fanbase over a simple little RPG Maker game. I still visit Uboachan, though not too frequently.

I first got introduced to video games in the Gamecube/Game Boy era, so growing up games like Pokemon Silver, Sonic Adventure (both of them), Super Mario Sunshine, and my favorite game of all time Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess took up all my time. I remember maxing out the ingame clock in Twilight Princess haha. From there I graduated to PC gaming, and now the game I've been playing the most of is Overwatch. I'm pretty garbage at it but competitive has been helping me get better. I'd also like to point out while we're on the topic of video games how much Danganronpa means to me. It's one of my favorite games and makes me hella emotional. There's a song on my new album about it haha. Q: What do you have planned for the future of this project? A: I have a new album coming out at some point that’s named Stay. Niku Gutfuck is split into two different styles: The ambient, droney harsh noise side such as Everything is Gone, and a very J-Pop inspired electronic music side. The topic of Everything is Gone is gonna be elaborated on in a few songs, as well as other topics I want to get off my chest. I am not sure when this is coming out, where I will release it, or if I will fuck with any labels at all, I am just trying to get my emotions out in audio form as of right now. I'm ultimately trying to improve as a producer and musician as much as I can, music production is honestly something that I just adore fucking with and I can't see myself stopping no matter how discouraged I get.

There's this fire in me that won't let me stop, and I am so glad it's there cause it keeps me going. I'm trying to find an artist to work with to make the album cover, especially since I love working with visual artists. The feeling of two artistic minds that focus on different art forms coming together to create something is so inspiring to me and one of my favorite things about making music.

Be sure to follow Niku Gutfuck on Twitter to keep up to date!

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0zrockbitway · 7 years

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So in the GO games the characters have their years by their names and other info and I find that pretty interesting?? I don’t think the games prior to the GO ones had the years on the character mini profile. I tend to forget who is in what year sometimes and the ina11 wiki doesn’t have their years listed (I think). Anyway, if you’re curious about who is in what year/grade here’s a (long) list of inazuma characters. It mostly contains GO characters but since you can recruit some characters from the original series I added them on here to.

Not every character has a year, some are labeled ??? or ADULT (Akizora Challengers/Golden Oldies team). Most of the aliea characters are under ??? and Toramaru is to (but we all know he’s younger so-). Also, these are only from Light/Shadow. I haven’t played CS yet so none of those characters are on here.

Inazuma Eleven GO teams

Raimon (GO)

Sangoku Taichi - 3rd year Kurumada Gouichi - 3rd year Kirino Ranmaru - 2nd year Amagi Daichi - 3rd year Nishizono Shinsuke - 1st year Hamano Kaiji - 2nd year Hayami Tsurumasa - 2nd year Matsukaze Tenma - 1st year Shindou Takuto - 2nd year Tsurugi Kyousuke - 1st year Kurama Norihito - 2nd year Aoyama Shunsuke - 2nd year Ichino Nanasuke - 2nd year Nishiki Ryouma - 2nd year Kariya Masaki - 1st year Kageyama Hikaru - 1st year

Seto Midori - 2nd year Sorano Aoi - 1st year Yamana Akane - 2nd year

Raimon Reserves - all 2nd years

Eito Gakuen/Prodigy Grammer

Kageura Touji - 2nd year Mienai Kouta - 2nd year Honda Taizou - 3rd year Akutagawa Fusanosuke - 1st year Kakizaki Hagumi - 2nd year Hitofude Hayato - 1st year Fukuro Tetsuya - 2nd year Yomiya Satoshi - 1st year Yukiji Keiichi - 1st year Saewatari Yuuichirou - 2nd year Kindaichi Gaku - 3rd year Kaoka Utanori - 1st year Kouyou Hifumi - 1st year Natsume Kinsuke - 2nd year Kuniki Tetsuo - 1st year Tanizaki Jung - 3rd year

Tengawara/Milky Way Charter

Minami Juuji - 2nd year Kawasaki Ginta - 3rd year Itokawa Yoshinobu - 2nd year Kashio Seigo - 1st year Higashi Kinya - 1st year Hayabusa Hideki - 1st year Harei Mizunari - 1st year Nishinosora Yoichi - 2nd year Kita Ichiban - 2nd year Andou Tsuneyuki - 3rd year Hoshifuru Kaguya - 2nd year Orio Mihoshi - 1st year Oushida Kazuhiro - 1st year Yuge Noboru - 2nd year Ankoku Masayuki - 3rd year Harusawa Hikaru - 1st year

Mannouzaka/Almighty Faith

Shinoyama Mitsuru- 1st year Gamaishi Tsuneoki - 3rd year Oosawada Kotetsu - 2nd year Nagahisa Douji - 1st year Kuranoin Sanosuke - 1st year Ushio Kenjirou - 2nd year Busujima Kanezane - 2nd year Sakazaki Mugen - 1st year Shirato Kiyoshirou - 2nd year Mitsuyoshi Yozakura - 2nd year Isozaki Kenma - 1st year Chita Tsuyoshi - 3rd year Basato Toushi - 1st year Kiwami Seishin - 2nd year Okano Shunpei - 1st year Kamihira Gizou - 2nd year

Teikoku Gakuen/Royal Academy (GO)

Miyabino Reiichi - 1st year Ootaki Tonoo - 2nd year Kabata Taruhiko - 3rd year Narita Kenya - 1st year Ryuuzaki Ouji - 2nd year Asukaji Sakuya - 2nd year Horasawa Shuuji - 1st year Itsuki Katsumasa - 3rd year Sasaki Iwao - 2nd year Itsumi Kunihiko - 1st year Mikado Haruma - 3rd year Mashira Kadoteru - 2nd year Nakamura Michiru - 1st year Kasumino Jinta - 1st year Hanamura Kaoru - 2nd year Oosugi Futoshi - 2nd year

Kaiou Gakuen/Pirates Cove

Fukami Dandou - 2nd year Ide Norikazu - 3rd year Saruga Souma - 2nd year Funaki Yuuto - 1st year Nagisawa Nagisa - 1st year Touga Tooru - 2nd year Kaizu Kouichirou - 1st year Murakami Gunki - 1st year Wanda Naoto - 2nd year Namikawa Rensuke - 2nd year Yoshimine Misaki - 1st year Houki Ryuuhei - 3rd year Isaribi Tairamaru - 1st year Fujita Sumitomo - 2nd year Kurofune Izou - 2nd year Umigashi Entarou - 3rd year

Gassan Kunimitsu/Lunar Sea Military Academy

Hyoudou Tsukasa - 2nd year Kanehira Tessai - 3rd year Osafune Tenzen - 2nd year Hachisuka Tadatora - 1st year Kobayakawa Soukichi - 2nd year Tsukishima Kagehide - 1st year Masamune Gorou - 1st year Kai Nobutake - 1st year Shibata Kachidoki - 2nd year Minamisawa Atsushi - 3rd year Ichimonji Kirito - 1st year Yamamoto Kanta - 2nd year Takenaka Hanzou - 2nd year Sanada Rokurou - 1st year Shima Samonji - 3rd year Karasuma Takechiyo - 1st year

Hakuren/Alpine (GO)

Shirosaki Katsuya - 2nd year Hokugen Takeyuki - 3rd year Itou Torata - 2nd year Otaru Koutarou - 2nd year Makari Ginjirou - 1st year Kitaki Tsuneo - 1st year Touya Kunihiro - 2nd year Koori Itsuki - 2nd year Rumoi Korohiko - 1st year Yukimura Hyouga - 2nd year Itetsuki Touma - 1st year Mozaki Itaru - 1st year Oujika Kaku - 2nd year Yamane Minori - 1st year Hidaka Takeshi - 3rd year Seki Ganjirou- 3rd year

Kidokawa Seishuu/Kirkwood (GO)

Katayama Tsuyoshi - 3rd year Ooisokawa Tarou - 2nd year Ishikawa Kanpei - 2nd year Yamazaki Kotarou - 1st year Konuma Waku - 1st year Shimizu Ryuuto - 2nd year Izumi Kanaaki - 2nd year Tobisawa Mana - 2nd year Kishibe Taiga - 2nd year Taki Sousuke - 2nd year Kamiya Kouta - 1st year Kinugawa Waganuki - 3rd year Taki Yoshihiko - 1st year Yukai Mizuho - 2nd year Goshiki Jun - 1st year Sendai Hiroaki - 1st year

Genei Gakuen/Mirage

Hakono Zuiichi - 3rd year Kurenai Ouma - 2nd year Ozuno Yaku - 1st year Michiie Kanjurou - 3rd year Araki Akira - 2nd year Douhara Teito - 1st year Fudano Kirimasa - 2nd year Kobato Hiroo- 1st year Mahoro Tadashi - 3rd year Shiranui Genichi - 2nd year Shiranui Eiji - 1st year Utsurogi Sanemi - 1st year Iryuu Jouji - 2nd year Machi Shiiya - 2nd year Toriyuki Asaya - 1st year Ooki Tamanori - 3rd year

Arakumo Gakuen/Universal

Sata Tosamaru - 2nd year Urano Tenshou - 1st year Mukumo Tsukiya - 3rd year Yasumori Chiharu - 1st year Makisato Mizuki - 2nd year Furuto Meiji - 1st year Hinano Kinsuke - 2nd year Kida Mokuren - 2nd year Mazumi Hiroshi - 1st year Nebuchi Umitomo - 2nd year Amemiya Taiyou - 1st year Serei Kazutoyo - 1st year Chihara Eichi - 1st year Iri Koushichirou - 1st year Higa Takeyasu - 3rd year Uesuda Shirou - 3rd year

Seidouzan/Mt. Olympus

Masaki Teiya - 1st year Munemori Hidetoshi - 3rd year Kurei Yudai - 3rd year Iyabe Satoshi - 2nd year Hozumi Shinpei - 2nd year Amase -Reia 1st year Hyuuga Rron - 1st year Okegawa Yukimori - 1st year Kurosaki Makoto - 2nd year Koizaki Io - 2nd year Tsutsumi Tomo - 2nd year Temizu Kenji - 1st year Furou Akisada - 1st year Arino Omi - 2nd year Atou Ran - 3rd year Asou Kurehito - 1st year

Dragonlink

Senguuji Yamato- 2nd year Gomaki Tetsurou - 2nd year Gouishi Senma - 1st year Gomi Seiei - 2nd year Kamiyama Gounoshin - 1st year Ikari Gouriki - 3rd year Seijou Shougo - 1st year Mito Shou - 2nd year Aikawa Masaru - 1st year Godai Shingo - 1st year Gotou Yukai - 2nd year Gotenba Tooru - 2nd year Gonokami Eiji - 1st year Gousaki Haeru - 2nd year Gozuma Takeyuki - 3rd year Hoshii Tsuyoshi - 1st year

Ancient Dark

Ashiya Noboru - 1st year Motono Tsuyoshi - 3rd year Michino Susumu - 3rd year Edaki Saki - 2nd year Kiya Kouji - 2nd year Rinne Makoto - 1st year Hisakumo Jinta - 1st year Noya Keiichirou - 3rd year Yuuki You - 2nd year Kai - 1st year Shuu - 1st year

Unlimited Shining

Hebino Makito - 3rd year Saki Yukio - 2nd year Ejima Kazuya - 3rd year Onizuka Heita - 1st year Fujiki Tatsuhiko - 2nd year Nitta Miru - 1st year Seidou Dan - 2nd year Ginzamiya Akira - 1st year Sasayama Taki - 1st year Hodo Mitsuhiro - 2nd year Hakuryuu - 1st year

Original/First Series Players

Zeus

Posei Donichi/Poseidon - 3rd year Aporo Hikaru/Apollo - 2nd year Hepai En/Hephestus - 3rd year Aresu Ran/Ares - 2nd year Deio Geki/Dionysus - 1st year Arute Saneki/Artemis - 2nd year Herumi Matsuaki/Hermes - 2nd year Atena Tomo/Athena - 1st year Demete Yutaka/Demeter - 2nd year Afuro Terumi/Aphrodi - 2nd year Hera Tadashi/Hera - 3rd year

FFI

Demonio Strada - 2nd year Fideo Ardena - 2nd year Gigi Blasi - 3rd year Choi Chang Soo - 3rd year Nice Dolphin - 3rd year Angelo Gabrini - 1st year Rococo Urupa - 2nd year Bjorn Kyle - 3rd year Kamezaki Kappa - 1st year Dylan Keith - 2nd year Mark Kruger - 2nd year Walter Mountain - 1st year Edgar Valtinas - 3rd year Mac Roniejo - 2nd year Julien Rousseau - 3rd year Teres Tolue - 3rd year

Raimon

Endou Mamoru - 2nd year Kazemaru Ichirouta - 2nd year Kabeyama Heigorou - 1st year Kageno Jin - 2nd year Kurimatsu Teppei - 1st year Handa Shinichi - 2nd year Shourinji Ayumu - 1st year Shishido Sakichi - 1st year Matsuno Kuusuke - 2nd year Gouenji Shuuya - 2nd year Someoka Ryuugo - 2nd year Megane Kakeru - 2nd year Domon Asuka- 2nd year Kidou Youth - 2nd year Ichinose Kazuya -2nd year Yamino Kageto - 2nd year

Tachimukai Yuuki -1st year Tsunami Jousuke - 3rd year Kogure Yuuya - 1st year Urabe Rika - 2nd year Fubuki Shirou - 2nd year Tobitaka Seiya - 2nd year Fudou Aki - 2nd year

Kino Aki - 2nd year Otonashi Haruna - 1st year Raimon Natsumi - 2nd year Kudou Fuyuka - 2nd year

Aliea & Teikoku

Suzuno Fuusuke - 2nd year Midorikawa Ryuuji - 2nd year Saginuma Osamu - 3rd year Nagumo Haruya - 2nd year Kiyama Hiroto - 2nd year Genda Koujirou - 2nd year Sakuma Jirou - 2nd year

#kuro comments #Inazuma Eleven #reference #this was hard to do because I had to #go from dub to sub #also typing it all out took a while;;#I hope the names are right bcuz autocorrect is an ass #also years to #I hope I didn't get any confused;;

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