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sapphirefallschronicles · 1 year

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- ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ Welcome to Sapphire Falls - chapter 5 ❜┊˚̥۪͙۪◌

Basketballer!Chris Evans x Abigail Syverson (plus size!ofc) & Farmer!Syverson x Livia Darmandi (Asian ofc)

Summary: Livia gets herself ready for dinner at the Honey Bee Ranch, while Abigail worries a little.

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: None

The Advent Calendar (a.k.a. the masterlist)

●・○・●・○・●

After carefully thinking about what to wear (and my options were limited since I couldn’t fit a lot in my suitcase, even after using Marie Kondo’s magnificent tips), I finally found the perfect outfit.

High waisted jeans, paired with some platform boots to give me some added height (considering I’m meeting the Syversons and an NBA player) and a green cardigan like sweater, should suffice.

I know that back in the day, Sy would always compliment me whenever I was wearing green. He never stated his favorite color, but he did mention something about how I should wear more green. I even wore green for my prom, as it matched his tie.

The walk from my hotel to the Honey Bee Ranch isn’t too long, but long enough for me to thoroughly enjoy the scenery. I take in a deep breath, as I can look miles ahead of me, without it being ruined by traffic and other typical New York City things I have grown so accustomed to.

The closer I get to the place, the harder my heart starts to race. I wonder if a lot has changed, but knowing Sy, I bet he kept everything the way his mom left it.

When Bernard Syverson died, Sy barely spoke two words about it. Instead he took on the role of the man of the house, all while he was still a teen. He grew up way too fast and sometimes I wondered whether or not the pressure was too much for him. The loss of his dad was hard on him, but I just know losing his mother had to be harder for him to deal with.

And this time around, I wasn’t there to keep an eye on him. When we were teens, Chris and I went out of our ways to take care of the twins. Chris took care of Abigail, I made sure Sy wasn’t doing stupid stuff, kept him up to date with school and tried to be there for him.

Once I’m closer, I see a very familiar figure. ‘Oh my, is that Chris Evans, the star player of the Chicago Bulls? Right here in Sapphire Falls?’ I say, pretending to be a very hysterical fangirl, though I burst into some sort of laughter halfway through.

The tall and handsome basketball player I’ve known since he was just a cute middle schooler, turns around and smiles widely when he sees it’s me. Back in the day he couldn’t grow a beard, but now I see some facial hair. Looks good, I think to myself.

‘Is that Livia Darmandi, the best selling author?’

That comes as a shock. ‘What? You knew?’ I ask as I approach him. ‘I thought you didn’t read!’

‘I don’t, but when I recognize the name of my friend, I obviously read it.’ He walks up to me and pulls me in a bone crushing hug. ‘And I have to say, GAME OVER book one might be my favorite read.’

What a sweetheart.

‘How have you been?’ I ask, once he placed me back on the ground again.

‘I’m alright,’ he says, while we make our way towards the ranch. ‘Just a damn injury.’

‘Yeah, I’ve heard something about that. That must suck.’

He shrugs. ‘Well, next season I’m back. Stronger than ever. What brings you to Sapphire Falls?’

‘I’m desperate for some inspiration,’ I say, because it’s part of the truth. That I’m escaping a very lonely December month in New York City, he’ll discover that sooner than later. ‘So, you bumped into Sy, right?’

‘Yeah, but I just know he is a lot happier that you’re in town than me being here.’ Chris lets out a chuckle as we can already see the ranch come closer and closer. ‘Crazy right, how nothing has changed.’

‘It is beyond crazy,’ I admit, realizing he is totally evading my very obvious next question, whether or not he has seen Abigail. ‘Strange how I feel right at home after so many years.’

‘Mhm.’

‘You okay, Chris?’ I ask. ‘You seem… A bit nervous if I’m being honest.’

‘I’m fine,’ he says, forcing a fake smile on his attractive face. ‘You know, if we’re ever playing against the Knicks, I’ll arrange free tickets for you. Or, is that considered adultery, because I am playing for the Bulls and you’re probably a Knicks fan?’

Classic Chris, turning the conversation into a different direction. I decide to be the bigger person here and not to pry for information he isn’t willing to share just yet. ‘Bold of you to assume I’m a fan of the Knicks, solely because I live in New York.’

‘Aren’t you?’

I chuckle. ‘Sweet, oblivious Chris. I’m a Chicago Bulls fan. Wherever you go, my loyalty follows. Can’t believe you thought I wouldn’t support my friend. Deeply disappointed in you.’ I smack him in the stomach. ‘Now hurry up,’ I say, picking up my pace, ‘we can’t be late. Dinner at the Syversons is always six thirty sharp.’’

●・○・●・○・●

‘You did what?’ I ask Sy after he casually tells me he bumped into not just one, but two of our long lost friends. I knew about Chris, but I had no idea Livia was back. Of course Sy already spoke to both of them.

‘Ya heard me. They’re coming over for dinner tonight,’ he says. ‘I think it’s nice to have a lil’ reunion.’

I hum in response, but my head is spinning. Chris is coming over. And we are gonna have to talk. I pinch the bridge of my nose. ‘But you ran into them yesterday? And you’re only telling me now?’

‘The later I’d tell ya, the less time you’d have to go nuts,’ Sy snickers as he grabs his car keys. ‘Have fun freaking out about Chris while I’ll go get the groceries.’

Sometimes I hate my brother.

●・○・●・○・●

I cast one last glance in the mirror, and am pleased with the outfit I pulled together while mentally preparing myself to talk to Chris again. Plaid gray trousers, a white tank top with a gray cardigan on top and flat black loafers. Livia always pleaded for me to wear flat shoes so our height difference would be minimized, but we both knew that issue could never be avoided. Yet, I always tried to wear flat shoes and she would wear heels or platforms, because that’s what friends do; at least that is what we used to do.

The clock on the wall tells me Livia and Chris are gonna be here soon. To calm my nerves I decide to go to the stables, the goat enclosure to be precise. A few minutes with Honey might be exactly what I need.

The baby goat is happily hopping around as I come closer. The minute she sees me, she bleats loudly, and scatters away from her mother towards me. ‘Hi Honey,’ I say, scratching her behind her little ears.

‘That’s a nickname you haven’t called me before, but I’m digging it.’ I shriek loudly as I hear a deep voice behind me.

‘For fuck’s sake, Chris! Did you have to scare me like that?’

‘Wasn’t necessary, but I was kinda funny,’ Chris smirks. ‘Sy told me I could find you here.’

He looks even better up close, damn it. I spent the second I saw him in town investigating his Instagram. Whoever takes his pictures should do something else with their life, because the pictures he posts are not doing him any justice.

‘For you maybe,’ I smile. I look at the goats, but Honey and the others fled to the other side after my inhumane sound. Silence fills the air, and I hear Chris’ footsteps coming closer.

He places his hand on my lower back, and smiles softly at me as I look at him. ‘It’s good to see you.’

‘It’s good to see you too, Chris.’ He pulls me in for a hug, which turns into an awkward side hug as we both struggle with where to put our hands. We both chuckle stiffly as we turn our attention to the goats again.

‘Someday I need you to tell me how you convinced Sy to get these animals. If I remember correctly, he hates these immensely.’

‘Oh, he hates them, and they hate him. Which might be half the reason I wanted them,’ I say. Not knowing what to say to him any further, I decide to redirect the conversation. ‘Why don’t we get inside first?’ I suggest. ‘Is Livia hear yet?’

‘Abigail!’ I hear a sweet voice behind me say. ‘Speaking of the devil, or angel, yes she is here!’

‘Livia!’ I manage to say before she throws herself in my arms. Her tiny figure wouldn’t tell you, but that girl can give firm hugs. ‘It’s so good to see you!’

‘You look amazing, Abigail, I love those trousers. You can never go wrong with plaid.’

I look down, and see she is wearing platform shoes, something might never change, and a smile forms on my face.

The clan is all back together.

●・○・●・○・●

The four of us are back in the main house, and I take a moment to myself in the kitchen.

Deep down I think: what happened to me and how I feel about everything, is none of their business. It’s clear that there are many unspoken truths between us. Seeing Livia and Chris sitting in the living room where it’s usually just Sy and me, is odd, yet awfully familiar.

To say we all have matured, is an understatement. To see the entire gang took me back. My brother has grown up, from a teen who took on the role of the man of the house to a secure grown up, who has many things hidden in his heart.

It takes no genius to see how Livia, despite her eleven year absence, still has her special effect on him. Mom always joked about how they would get married, but the jokes became less frequent the longer Livia stayed away and the more hurt Sy got whenever she mentioned Livia’s name. But here she is, our tiny baby of the group. Not only was she the youngest, she was also the smallest of us all, but she always stood her ground. Managed to wrap Sy–of all people–around her finger.

And then there is Chris. Our famous, ever so handsome Chris. The one who carried his basketball around everywhere he went. He always held up his sporty, bad boy attitude, but he was always the sweetest to Livia and me.

Last but not least, there’s me, the other Syverson. I always felt like the outcast of the group. I wasn’t like Livia, who could wrap people around her finger like that. Unlike Sy and Chris I didn’t have a clear path in life. I was the girl who hid behind her camera and preferred to not be in the spotlight.

‘You coming Abi?’ Chris asks as he, Livia and Sy make their way to the dining table. Abi. He was the only one with permission to call me that, and it’s been ages since he said it. It felt good, and weirdly familiar. Maybe it was nice to have him back in my life.

‘Yeah, sorry.’ I make my way towards the table and take place next to Chris. Livia and Sy are already sitting opposite of us, both of them unknowingly scooting their seats closer to each other.

Nothing truly has changed.

●・○・●・○・●

‘So, yeah, an injury and a broken engagement are the reason I’m back in town,’ Chris finishes his story. We needed to catch up with each other, so we took turns telling how our lives went the last few years. Sy and I were quickly done, as not much had changed for us, except the death of our mother. But we stayed in Sapphire Falls, on Honey Bee Farm. No big city or exciting careers for us.

Chris just told us his story and I’ve got to say: that’s kinda sad. I feel sorry for him, but I also know he isn’t telling the whole story. His fiancée and him suddenly figuring out they aren’t a match? There is more to that story, but I know he will share that whenever he’s ready. ‘I’m sorry that happened to you Chris,’ I say.

‘Thanks, but it’s fine,’ Chris responds. He fiddles with the empty glass in his hands, and Livia exchanges a look with me. There is definitely more to this story.

‘What about you, Livia? What brings you back to this boring old town? I can’t imagine leaving the big city behind for this,’ I ask, deciding changing the subject would be best.

‘I needed a change of scenery. New York is amazing and I love it, but I need the peace and quietness of Sapphire Falls to get some new inspiration.’

As the conversation continues, I know no one is telling the whole story. Don’t get me wrong, the conversation is flowing. It feels like it was only yesterday we saw each other, but we all are keeping out the details of what happened the past years.

Sy pretends that he’s not hurting. Livia makes us believe that all she needs for inspiration is a change of scenery. Chris puts on a front that discovering that he and his ex-fiancée weren’t a good match was reason enough for a broken engagement. I’m faking that life here in Sapphire Falls is everything I want.

I glance at Chris, that beard looks damn good on him. And his thigh, accidentally or not accidentally, touching mine every now and then is sending shivers down my spine.

This is gonna be a long night.

●・○・●・○・●

It was a long night, however we got through it. Sy is gonna drive Livia and Chris back, while I’m staying here. I say my goodbyes to them and watch them get off the porch. However Livia turns around and rushes back to the front door.

‘Abigail,’ she says, ‘what do you say about a girl’s day tomorrow? I already cleared it with Sy: you are not needed on the farm.’

That actually does not sound that terrible. Besides, there are many things I want to know. Maybe it’s easier to talk to a girl. Growing up, there was a clear division in our group. Sy and Livia, Chris and I. But there were moments where boys need boys and there are moments where girls need girls. Getting ready for prom? That was a job she and I needed to do. Talking about our deepest fears? That was reserved for either Sy in Livia’s case, or Chris in mine, though I never totally bared my soul.

‘That sounds nice.’

‘Fantastic,’ she says. ‘We should get some coffee and stroll around. It has been ages since I had such a beautiful walk. In New York it’s all people, cars and rats.’

‘A scenery walk it is,’ I chuckle.

‘Liv, hurry up,’ Sy says to her, who is already waiting by the truck, together with Chris. While he is very keen on the orders and commands, I can already tell there is a very special layer added to it, one he specifically reserves for Livia Darmandi.

Great, with her around, my brother will be absolutely useless again.

‘I’ll see you tomorrow at the cafe,’ I say with a smile and Livia gives me a quick hug, before rushing back to the truck.

#Welcome to Sapphire Falls #Welcome to Sapphire Falls Masterlist #diegos-butt & keanureevesisbae advent calender #Chris Evans #Henry Cavill #Syverson #Basketballer!Chris Evans #Farmer!Syverson #Plus size!ofc #Asian!ofc #chris evans x plus size ofc #henry cavill x asian ofc #chris evans x ofc #henry cavill x ofc

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sapphirefallschronicles · 1 year

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- ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ Welcome to Sapphire Falls - chapter 24 ❜┊˚̥۪͙۪◌

Basketballer!Chris Evans x Abigail Syverson (plus size!ofc) & Farmer!Syverson x Livia Darmandi (Asian ofc)

Summary: Abigail and Chris finally talk, just like Sy and Livia have a heart to heart.

Word count: 2.9k

Warnings: None

The Advent Calendar (a.k.a. the masterlist)

After the debacle at the Christmas fair, I go straight to the place that brings me comfort. The demonic goats. It still baffles me how Sy thinks they are truly demonic, but that might be because I have set them up against him. I should start talking nice things about him to them, because they can’t give him a hard time once I leave this place.

But first I need their advice.

Once again.

‘Do you think Chris and I can be together one day?’ I ask as I scratch Honey behind her ears. She bleats loudly before jumping off to annoy her mother. ‘You’re no help,’ I tell her. ‘Why is the universe so set on ruining my chance to be with him? You’d think three times is a charm, but we have almost kissed three times now. And every time we got interrupted. Maybe we aren’t meant to be together after all. Maybe I should give up,’ I sigh.

Honey comes rushing back, begging for more scratches.

‘You think I should give him another chance? I don’t know if I can do that.’ Tears start to form in my eyes, and I feel like such an idiot. ‘What’s wrong with me? Why do I always have to be second best? I cannot live a life where I feel like the ex fiance is always around the corner.’

All of a sudden I hear someone scraping their throat behind me. Quickly I turn around, to see Chris.

‘How long have you been standing there?’ I ask, wiping away the tears. Apparently I had not heard a thing in the last few minutes, because I see his truck parked in our driveway.

He walks closer to me, but I hold up my hand, needing space between us. I need room to think, but I can’t do that with him so close to me.

‘Abi,’ Chris says, ‘that text, it was Bethany telling me she had cleared my house from her stuff.’

That was unexpected. ‘What?’

‘She’s gonna leave. I told her we’re never gonna work and that she needs to get her stuff out of my house.’ He smiles and says: ‘She’s blocked. She’s banned from my life. Forever.’

‘I don’t… I don’t get it.’ I’m having a hard time comprehending what is happening. Is he saying what I hope he is saying?

‘She is gone. She finally understood I don’t want her in my life, and she only texted me to tell me she had collected her stuff from my house and left the key.’ Chris slowly closes the gap between us, and I let him.

‘Because all I need is you, Abigail Syverson.’

I have always hated crying in front of people, therefore avoiding it like hell, but I can’t help myself right now. Tears stream down my face, not sad tears, more like I-can’t-believe-this-is-happening-tears.

‘Really?’ I choke out. Chris is now in front of me, only an inch between us. He gently removes my hands from my face, and takes them in his.

‘Yeah,’ he says softly, placing his hand on my cheek, wiping the tears away.

‘Why?’

He barks out a laugh, and pulls me even closer to him. ‘I confess my love to you, and you ask why?’

‘I mean, you can be with someone like Bethany, why would you want to be with me? I’m not her, I don’t even remotely look like her. I’m not in your world, I bet there are other girls who are. Who fit in.’ I see a look of hurt in Chris’ eyes, and while I don’t want to personally ruin the moment I have always dreamt of, I have to express my concerns.

I have loved Chris Evans for so long, and now that I can get him, I start wondering what life with him would be like. I’d have to go with him, to Chicago, which I would love. But do I fit in that world full of superstars and supermodels?

‘Stop that,’ Chris says, he places his other hand on my face as well, and makes me meet his gaze. ‘You are nothing like her, because you are so much more. You are funny, kind, caring, sweet, talented. And you are so beautiful.’ He presses a kiss to my forehead. ‘Your smile lights up a room, your eyes are my favorite color.’ A kiss on my nose. ‘And I can talk for hours about what your body does to me,’ he ends, his voice darkening.

He presses his forehead against mine, and we stand like that for a moment. My tears had stopped, and I wrap my arms around his neck.

‘So, you think you like me back?’ Chris softly nudges his nose against mine.

‘Ever since you held my hand in third grade,’ I chuckle and I close my eyes as he leans in, his lips hovering inches from mine.

‘I’ve been wanting to do this for so long,’ he whispers, his voice low and husky.

‘Me too.’ My own voice barely above a whisper.

And finally we closed the gap between us. After all these years, after all these attempts, we finally kiss. It is everything I hoped for. My entire body is on fire, and I feel like I’m flying.

Chris’ hands are everywhere, and so are mine. His hard body is flush against mine, and before I know it a moan escapes my mouth.

And the sound he made following that, sent shivers down my spine. ‘‘Maybe we need to go somewhere, you know, private,’ I whisper in between our kisses.

Chris hums in response, still pressing kisses on my jaw, neck, cheeks, lips. ‘Let’s go upstairs.’

I’m about to agree, when I suddenly realize something. ‘Fuck, no. Sy’s home, I think.’

Chris stops kissing my neck, and grabs my hand to pull me with him, out of the barn. ‘We’re going to my hotel. I mean, if you want to?’ He waits for my answer, and when I tell him yes, we make a run for his truck.

●・○・●・○・●

A few hours later I wake up next to Chris. In his hotel room. In his bed. With my head on his naked chest. Am I dreaming?

I realize I am not dreaming, but am wide awake. A grin as wide as possible forms on my face. If you’d told me a month ago that Chris Evans and I would express our love for each other, I would have laughed in your face.

But now, I feel a happiness I never felt before. Slowly I draw circles with my finger over his tattooed chest. Mine.

He stirs a little, and I feel him placing his hand on the swell of my back. The sun is slowly disappearing, painting orange and red strokes on the wall.

‘Hi baby,’ he hums, pressing a kiss to my shoulder. He sits up a little bit, so we’re eye to eye again. I definitely can get used to this.

A smile forms on my face, and without hesitation I lean forward to peck his lips. I never felt comfortable enough to do so with previous partners, but with Chris? It feels like it was meant to be.

‘You look beautiful.’ He wraps me in his arms, and we lay like that in silence for a moment.

‘Would you come to Chicago with me?’ Chris breaks the silence.

‘Is it weird if I started packing my bags mentally already?’

‘Please tell me you’re not bringing all your plants with you,’ he laughs. ‘I doubt I have the space for that.’

I smile, but think about his question in the meanwhile. Yes, I want to go with him. Yes, I would love to go to Chicago. But what would that look like? Will I move in with him immediately? I don’t think I’m ready to go from nothing to basically married.

‘Chris?’ I say.

‘Mhm?’

‘Can we take it slow?’

Chris props himself up on his elbow, to get a better look on my face. He smiles softly, and nods, encouraging me to elaborate.

‘I just want us to take our time to get to know each other like this. Enjoy every step of this way.’ I place my hand on his face, and he presses a kiss to the palm of my hand. ‘I don’t want to rush into this.’

‘As long as I get to spend time with my favorite person, you. I will take all the time you, we, need, okay? There is no need to rush things. We have a lifetime ahead of us.’’ He pulls me in his arms, kisses me tenderly, and we won’t leave the bed till the sun rises again.

I don’t know how much time went by, but my arms feel sore by the time I actually take a break. Maybe I’m not fuming anymore, but damn I’m still pissed. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so angry. That idiot and my Liv left the bar.

There had been times where I was angry, maybe even jealous when someone else spoke to her, but I could be rational about it. But this is different. Fuck, this was totally different.

‘Is there a reason, Caleb Syverson, you’ve been ignoring my calls?’

Her voice.

‘Sorry,’ I mutter, without looking up.

Footsteps come closer and she stands in front me. Her black platform boots are covered in sand and a little bit of mud. ‘Are you okay?’

‘Do I look okay?’

‘Want an honest answer?’

I finally look up, only to see her looking serious and her default state of sadness still present. ‘Go for it.’

‘You look like shit,’ she tells me. ‘And for that I’m sorry. That was my fault, Ian’s fault.’

I stand up and tower over her, even with a few feet between us. ‘Why did you even go with him?’ I ask her, my tone a lot harsher than I intended. ‘You just told me he was your ex and all of the sudden you’re taking him to the doctor?’

Livia blinks her eyes, almost like she’s confused by what I said. ‘Well duh,’ she says. ‘Of course I had to check whether or not he had an internal bleeding. It’s you versus him, Sy. Do you really think I have to check on you, when you didn’t even have a scratch and I had no idea if he was vomiting blood or if it was his lip leaking?’

Okay, she makes an excellent point.

‘You know,’ she continues, ‘after I took him to the doctors and it turned out he was completely fine, just peachy, I told him we’re over. That he and I never worked and that nothing could ever change my mind.’

‘Oh.’

‘He understood and we’re over.’

We both don’t say a thing, however she’s the one who breaks the silence.

‘I wasn’t lying, you know,’ she continues. ‘I really wished we didn’t spend so long apart. I hate how you didn’t have me forever.’

I clench my jaw, but that’s mostly because I have know idea how to respond to this. Back at the bar I knew, I wanted to further elaborate once we were talking, but then Ian happened.

And now words just don’t flow.

‘You know, I hate myself everyday for not coming back,’ Livia says. ‘Because while New York City was great for me and my writing career, I never was truly happy. I set foot in Sapphire Falls and I realize that you have always been my reason for happiness.’

My vocabulary has been reduced to zero percent, because I still have no clue what to say to her and this revelation of hers.

‘It’s always been you, Sy,’ Livia says. ‘The reason I never said that to you, is because I didn’t want to lose the greatest friend I’ve ever had. The things you and I could discuss, that meant so much to me. I saw how my parents’ relationship barely worked and I was afraid I was too much of a Darmandi and would end up like them. That I would screw up whatever we had.’

‘Liv,’ I manage to say, finally finding my voice back, ‘you know you could never screw up. Come on, if someone had to do that, it would’ve been me. We’re talking about me.’ I rub my hand over my short hairs.

‘But don’t you see that I have always been the one to hold you at arm's length?’ Livia sighs and says: ‘We kissed, prom night happened and what not. I had a taste, but every time I thought about getting closer, developing a real relationship with the one I truly loved, I backed out. I was scared.’

Livia runs her fingers through her hair and I can see she’s gently pulling it, before she does that one thing that tells me how uncomfortable she is: she pats herself on the head again.

I hate seeing her in distress like that.

She chews on her bottom lip and whispers: ‘Sy, I’m so sorry.’

‘Why are you sorry?’

‘Because I yet again screwed up.’

I detect some tears collecting in her eyes.

‘Come here,’ I say, pulling her gently in my arms. Livia, always our little and tiny Livia, buries her face in my chest and whispers soft apologies. ‘Stop that.’

‘What?’ she asks. ‘Stop crying? How do you think I can just do that?’

Realizing I phrased it wrong, I whisper: ‘No, stop apologizing. You have nothing to feel sorry about and there is no need to feel sad and cry. It’s always been you too, Liv. I… No woman is ever good enough, not when I know there is you.’

She places her chin on my chest and through her tears looks at me. ‘You waited eleven years for me?’ she asks.

‘Yeah, I guess I did.’

‘Damn you, Sy, that’s the sweetest thing ever.’ She wiggles herself out of my arms and wipes away her tears. ‘How do I compete with that?’

‘It’s not a competition,’ I tell her. ‘Liv, know that we’re not competing for who is the most romantic. All I care about is that I never lose you again. Because I don’t know if I can handle that.’

She’s shaking and I feel so bad that all these emotions are coming out like this. All the anger I felt just minutes earlier dissolves like that. ‘Caleb Syverson,’ she whispers, ‘I love you so much.’

I never expected to hear those words from her ever again. Those important words coming from her lips. And yet, here it happens. ‘Livia Darmandi,’ I say, ‘I can safely say: I love you more.’

Despite her tears, she lets out a laugh. ‘Took me eleven fucking years to realize that.’

I take a step towards her, gently hold her face in my hands and use my thumb to wipe away the tears. I press a kiss on her forehead and she relaxes against me. ‘That’s okay,’ I whisper against her forehead.

‘Don’t ever let me go,’ she says in a pleading tone.

‘Of course not,’ I tell her. ‘How about you kiss me, Liv?’

She stands on her toes, fisting my lumberjack blouse in her hands before she presses her lips on mine. Eleven years passed, eleven years since our last kiss, but I finally get to kiss her again. I pick her up and gently place her on the nearby wooden fence, so she doesn’t crane her neck and I don’t turn into a hunchback. She locks me in between her legs and from her eagerness I can tell she doesn’t want to let go.

But neither do I.

I finally have her back.

●・○・●・○・●

After we eventually managed to break apart our kisses, we took a bit of a walk, her hand securely in mine. We walked passed Sapphire Lake, all the barns we had and the stables, almost like I wanted to show every animal that this woman is mine now and that there is no way I would ever let her go.

We stop in front of the shed. In these last few years, I’ve taken good care of this place. Abigail often said I should rent it out, but I can’t. I can’t rent out the place with one of my most sacred memories. ‘Remember prom night?’

‘You think I could forget?’ I ask her. ‘You’re my first and the only one I care about.’

She leans against me and I press her a kiss on top of my head. I gently tug her with me, as I unlock the door. As she walks passed me, for a second I’m back years ago. Almost like she never left, as she makes herself comfortable on the bed. Smiling, at ease and so beautiful.

I plop next to her and she smiles. For the first time in forever, I don’t see her anguish, her sadness.

She’s serene.

‘Are you happy, Liv?’

‘Happiest I’ve ever been in my life. I realized I’ve done nothing but chase hopes and dreams, when all I had to do was to chase you.’

I give her a kiss on her forehead. ‘It was worth the wait,’ I tell her.

‘Sy, can you promise me to never let me go?’ she asks in a soft tone, nuzzling her face in my chest. ‘There is a one hundred percent chance I can’t live without you.’

I shake my head, wrapping my arm tightly around her. ‘I’m never letting you go, ever again.’

●・○・●・○・●

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sapphirefallschronicles · 1 year

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- ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ Welcome to Sapphire Falls - chapter 17 ❜┊˚̥۪͙۪◌

Basketballer!Chris Evans x Abigail Syverson (plus size!ofc) & Farmer!Syverson x Livia Darmandi (Asian ofc)

Summary: Livia has finished her short story and asks Sy to read it.

Word count: 1.7k

Warnings: None

The Advent Calendar (a.k.a. the masterlist)

Okay, so the first few chapters of my short story are finished. No, wait, that’s a lie. The entire thing is finished, but only the first few chapters are readable. I called Sy, wondering if he could offer me a lift and he gladly did. Driving me to the copyshop went by faster than the navigation predicted, but that is all thanks to Sy’s “chased by the devil”-driving style.

‘So please, wait here, okay?’ I ask him. ‘Don’t drive off.’

‘I wouldn’t dare.’

I grab my hand bag, before I hop out of the truck. I make my way to the copyshop, quickly give the print order and within ten minutes and only costing me two dollars, I’ve printed out fifty pages of my short story. Securely tucked away in the handbag, I walk back and get in the truck.

‘Done.’

Sy nods. ‘Ian called. Again.’

‘For fuck’s sake,’ I exclaim, really getting tired of his stupid antics. I grab my phone that I apparently left in the car and block his number. ‘I should’ve done that sooner,’ I note. ‘Blocking was the answer to everlasting peace.’

When Sy drives back, he asks: ‘How did you meet Ian?’

In the time I’ve been back in Sapphire Falls, I’ve mentioned Ian, but I never told him the details about my tumultuous relationship with him. Especially not how I met him. ‘I met him at a bar during college. He was a bit of a… What should I call it… The loveable nerdy friend of the jock.’ I turn to the side and add: ‘If that makes sense.’

‘Oddly specific even.’

‘Well, we hit it off, started dating, broke up, got back together, and repeated that cycle a few times. You know, the on-and-off relationship cliche. Really, it’s not even worth talking too long about. What about you? Did you ever date?’

Sy shakes his head. ‘I got no time for dating,’ he says.

‘Well, if it’s true love, you make time,’ I note.

I wonder what Sy did in the years we spend apart. He might not have dated and pursued relationships, he must’ve done something.

However, that thought makes me feel oddly jealous, so I push the thought of Sy and other women aside.

‘Well, you’re not in a rush, right?’ I ask him. ‘Unlike the rest of town by the way. Your truck was spotted and everyone inside the shop started drooling. It’s borderline pavlovian.’

Sy smirks. ‘What did you print? Or am I still not allowed to ask about it?’

‘Well, I printed out the first fifty pages of my short story. I finished the entire thing, but the rest is not readable yet.’ I turn to the side and take in Sy’s attractive features. The small bump on his nose, the thick beard and the deep frown. ‘Do you want to read it?’ I ask him.

The frown becomes deeper. ‘Why do you want me to read it?’

‘Because I want your opinion on it. Please, Sy, would you? It would mean the world to me.’

‘Ah, even from the corners of my eyes I can see that damn pout of yours,’ he says. ‘Stop that.’

‘Only if you read it.’

He groans. ‘I’ll read it. Fifty pages is doable,’ he says.

‘Yeah, that’s the spirit. Thank you.’

He nods with a smile. ‘Sure thing, Liv.’

●・○・●・○・●

I spend my time on the farm, gently petting the sweet goats. At first I thought Sy was exaggerating when he said the goats didn’t like them, but I saw the way they looked at him and I realized he might be right.

I walk over the large landscape and I see Sy sitting in the shed he built when he was younger. The shed where I have one of my most hidden, yet most beautiful memories stored with him. Part of me wants to bring it up, wants to tell him how much I loved that night and therefore how much I loved him, but I don’t.

I can’t.

That next morning, after we woke up in the shed, we pretended like nothing happened. I handed him back his shirt, quickly put on my own pajamas. We sauntered back to the house. The last thing we sort of said about the matter was when he brought me to my room. He stopped in the doorway and gave me one soft kiss on my forehead. A brief smile was toying on his face, before he nodded, squeezed my hand and walked away.

I wonder if he remembered that night as clearly as I do. I kinda wish he did.

‘Liv!’

I look up, to see Sy jogging up to me, my partial manuscript in his hand.

‘You’ve got more, I hope,’ he says.

I let out a shy chuckle. ‘Because you thought it was good or because you want to smack me with a thicker pile of paper, because I suck?’

‘What? Liv, this is absolutely amazing.’ He smiles and says: ‘I love your writing style. It’s quick, yet poetic. Not dragging at all.’

I take in the compliment. I love people talking about my writing, but a compliment from Sy just hits different. ‘I have more. Just have to give it one more check.’

‘If you are done with that, I’ll drive you to the copyshop again.’ He looks at the papers in his hand before he asks: ‘Oh, and the handsome farmer is totally based on me, right?’

I smack his chest. ‘No,’ I mutter, though that is totally a lie. ‘Maybe.’

Sy laughs. ‘Well, you dragged me along to the copyshop, now I’m gonna drag you along.’

‘Where to?’

‘To my bedroom.’

Don’t do this to yourself, Livia. Do not let your mind wander.

‘Why?’ I manage to choke out.

‘Because…’ He awkwardly scratches his beard. ‘I’ve got your books there.’

I’ve heard from Abigail that he bought my books, but he hasn’t mentioned it himself just yet. It’s almost weird to hear it from him. ‘Oh… Did you read them?’

‘Every single one of them,’ he says. ‘Mom was obsessed and always forced me to go buy them. I bought copies for myself while I was there.’

I know how Sy has never been the type of guy who would read. He never appreciated books in the way I would. I remember when we were younger, we had to read a book for school. Sometimes I’d force him, but other times I would read them to them, while he was working on the farm. Whether he’d be cleaning the stables, organizing logs or building the shed, I’d be near him, the book in hand and I’d read it to him, adding ridiculous voices and what not.

It was the only way to get him to read a book, so he wouldn’t fail class.

But that was back in high school. I thought that after I had left, he’d never pick up a book again.

And now I hear it from him.

He read my books.

I follow him inside, into his minimalistic room. ‘You liked them?’

‘I loved them,’ he says. ‘I always knew you would make it as a writer, but these books were amazing.’ He pushes some things aside and grabs all the books I’ve written. ‘They were my only connection to you.’

‘Sy,’ I whisper. ‘That is… So sweet.’

‘I can see your main characters are like you,’ he says with a gentle smile, placing the books on his desk. He plops down on the bed and adds: ‘Mags from the Game Over series managed to wrap everyone around her finger.’

I frown. ‘Mags had the gift of manipulation.’

Sy shakes his head. ‘You don’t. You don’t manipulate. You… Ah shit, how do I say this?’

Realizing he is trying to word it correctly, but can’t seem to find the right words, I decide to help him out.

‘Mags does it on purpose, I don’t?’

He nods. ‘That’s right.’

‘What about Roxy from Verified?’

He smiles. ‘Roxy is fearless.’

‘I’m not fearless.’

‘You are, Liv. You moved to New York City of all the places in the world. By yourself. I call that pretty fearless.’

I grab the chair of his desk and say: ‘I’m not fearless, Sy.’

He lets out a deep sigh. ‘To me you are.’ The words linger in the air and I try to find the correct words, but now I’m at a loss. ‘And this new main character, Alyssa, she’s just as magnificent as you are. Kind, sweet and patient.’

Sy’s eyes are vulnerable, open and I wonder what I should say to him.

‘People change,’ I say. ‘I changed.’

‘You grew up,’ he says. ‘You matured. Of course you changed, but who you are to the core, that will never change.’

My mouth is dry and then I feel a tear burning in my eyes, followed by many more. ‘I’m so sorry,’ I whisper. ‘I’m sorry for disappearing.’

He pushes himself from the bed, before he crouches down in front of me. His hands on my thighs. ‘Don’t apologize.’

‘You kept up with me, while I never kept up with you. I thought about you, I have my first suitcase with daisies, stored with memories, but… I never came back, because the more time went by, the scarier it became. I’m a horrible friend.’

‘No, you are not,’ he says. ‘Because you did come back.’ In his own rough way, he brushes the tears from my cheeks. ‘And we’re going to do better now, the both of us. Come on, I could’ve gotten on Instagram and found a way to message you. This is not on you, this is on us.’

I hold his face in my hands and I nod. ‘We’ll do better.’

I already part my lips, wanting to tell him something, when we hear the doorbell. Judging from the absence of Abigail’s truck, I know he has to open the door. I let go of him and he hesitates for a second, before he gets up. ‘You go sign the books,’ he says.

‘What?’

‘Come on, the author of my favorite books is here.’ He chuckles and says: ‘And you better make it personal.’

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sapphirefallschronicles · 1 year

Text

- ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ Welcome to Sapphire Falls - chapter 25 ❜┊˚̥۪͙۪◌

Basketballer!Chris Evans x Abigail Syverson (plus size!ofc) & Farmer!Syverson x Livia Darmandi (Asian ofc)

Summary: It's Christmas in Sapphire Falls.

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: None

A/N: MERRY CHRISTMAS/HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE! While our advent calendar is over, please make sure you keep an eye out for the remainder of December, because we got a few fun things planned 😘

The Advent Calendar (a.k.a. the masterlist)

The next morning I wake up with Abigail in my arms. She is still asleep, and I don’t think I have ever seen her this peaceful. She is always in a hurry, always needs to do something. You’d always sense that when you were with her, but since it happened between us, it’s gone.

I peek outside, and see dark clouds approaching Sapphire Falls. I haven’t seen those clouds in quite a while, Sapphire Falls is one of those towns where snow is unique.

Since Abigail is still softly snoring, I try my best not to move too much. It feels so good to have her in my arms, I just want to enjoy this tranquil moment.

But when I notice something outside, I know I have to wake her up. ‘Morning baby,’ I say, tracing the outlines of her face with my finger.

She stirs, groaning, but doesn’t open her eyes.

‘C’mon, you have to see this.’

Slowly she opens one eye, and I can’t help but smile. I lean down, and press a kiss on her soft lips. I help her sit up, and point towards the window.

‘No way.’ She is suddenly wide awake. ‘That’s impossible!’ Snowflakes are falling onto the window, and they are getting thicker and thicker.

‘If it keeps snowing like this, we will have a thick layer of snow before we know it.’

‘I can hardly remember the last time we had snow here.’ She rests against my chest, and we intertwine our fingers.

‘Sapphire Falls in the snow is something else,’ I add.

‘Where’s my camera? I have to take pictures of this.’’ She looks around the room, before she presses her forehead in the palm of her hand. ‘I left it at home.’

‘We can take a walk to the farm?’ I propose. ‘If you’re nice, I won’t throw a snowball at you.’ Quickly I peck her lips, smiling.

‘I was already planning on throwing some at you,’ she smirks back.

●・○・●・○・●

Once we were dressed, we make our way outside. The temperature had dropped incredibly, and naturally I pull Abigail closer to me. With our arms interlocked, we leave the ground of the hotel.

We are almost outside the fence, when I notice the janitor dragging sleds outside a shed.

‘Sir!’ I yell.

‘What are you doing?’ Abigail squeals when I pull her with me towards him.

‘Getting us a sled, c’mon!’

Once armed with a wooden sled, we continue our way to the snow. It is still early in the morning, most people sound asleep. We barely meet a soul on our way to the farm.

I remember we would come across a giant hill on our way. The hill we spent hours on when we last had snow in Sapphire Falls. Many years ago, as Bennie Syverson was still around.

The whole town came to the hill, sledding down the hill, having snowfights, or simply watching everyone have fun.

Abigail and I would go ice skating on Sapphire Lake or sledding down the hill, while Dottie Syverson would bring us hot chocolate. Bennie would repair our sled on the other hand, after we wrecked it for the millionth time.

I smile to myself, the memories I have of the Syverson are dear to me. Because of them, I am who and where I am today.

Suddenly I’m pulled out of my thoughts when I feel an ice cold snowball hit my neck. ‘What the heck!’ I exclaim. After I turn around, I see Abigail laughing at me. I realize we had already reached the top of the hill.

I bend down to make a snowball, when she doesn’t waste another second and comes rushing towards me.

Once I’m standing again, she is face to face with me. ‘Don’t even think about it,’ she says, before grabbing my face to pull me in for a deep kiss.

The freshly made snowball slips out of my hands, and I wrap them around her.

‘You ready to go down this hill,’ I say, when we need to take a breath.

‘We’re so gonna wreck this thing,’ she answers. ‘I wish dad was here, to fix it.’

‘Me too.’ I press a kiss to her forehead, and we take a minute.

Abigail takes my hand, and we take our place on the sled. She sits before me, and we chuckle as we hardly fit on it together. ‘10 bucks we won’t even make it down the hill,’ she jokes.

‘You’re on.’ I give us a push, and with loud cheering, we slide down the hill.

The next hour is spent sliding down the hill, laughing and shrieking as more and more people wake up in Sapphire Falls, joining us on the hill.

●・○・●・○・●

Ultimately we reach the farm. All giddy we make it inside, and shred ourselves from our coats and wet shoes.

‘You two look ridiculous,’ I hear Sy say, who appeared in the kitchen door.

‘So do you, as always.’ Abigail flicks her brother the finger, but has the biggest smile on her face. ‘Lovely to see you, twin bro.’

He gestures to us to come inside, and we are welcomed by someone else sitting at the kitchen table.

‘Well, well, well,’ Abigail sings. ‘Who do we have her, early in the morning, sitting at our kitchen table?’ She approaches Livia, who springs up to give Abigail a hug. I look past them, and notice Livia’s suitcases in the hallway.

Livia whispers something in Abigail’s ear, before they both smile, and hug each other again. Once they sit down, they start whispering with each other.

Sy shares a look with me, and we both know what happened. He finally got together with Livia, and he knows I did with Abigail. ‘Coffee?’ he asks. I nod and stand next to him, looking outside the window, admiring the Syverson fields covered in snow.

‘So, Livia?’ I say.

‘Mhm, about time right?’ he answers.

‘Damn right.’

‘Can say the same about you two.’ He hands me a cup of coffee, and starts making one for Abigail. ‘Just so you know, break her heart and you’ll never play basketball again.’

‘I know.’ The bond between those two may not be of many words, but they will die for each other. ‘It won’t happen, I’m not planning on losing what’s most important to me.’

‘Good.’

We join the girls at the table, and Abigail takes a grateful sip of her coffee. She smiles softly at me when I sit next to her, and I can’t help it to place my hand on her soft thigh.

‘I’m so happy you two got together,’ Livia says, who has placed Sy’s arm over her shoulders. ‘Isn’t it kinda stupid of all of us to have been so oblivious?’

‘We could have saved quite some time,’ Abigail adds. ‘But I am happy we’re here now.’

‘I have seriously thought so many times you two dated already in high school,’ I say, nodding at Sy and Livia. ‘Only for you two to keep telling me nothing had happened.’

Abigail suddenly barks out a laugh. ‘Oh, you can’t be serious,’ she says, still laughing. ‘You really believe nothing happened between those two?’

Sy starts shifting uncomfortably on his chair, while an innocent smile shows on Livia’s face.

‘Yeah?’ I answer, already knowing I couldn’t be more wrong.

‘After prom, me and mom couldn’t sleep. So we went to the kitchen, to drink a cup of tea,’ Abigail starts. ‘We stand here, talking, when we notice a light is still on outside. Mom and I go outside, because we need to know what it is. What if an animal has escaped and decided to make itself at home in the shed you know.’

I look over at Sy, who looks absolutely mortified, and Livia, whose eyes I have never seen bigger.

‘So, we are outside, getting closer to the shed when we suddenly hear noises. Quickly we realize it is coming from inside it. We did the math, so yeah, mom and I had known all this time,’ she finishes, with a grin on her face.

‘This is so embarrassing,’ Livia finally says.

‘Oh no, it was really funny at the time. I remember mom saying: ‘will those two finally stop being such idiots?’ She was definitely rooting for you two. If she was here, she couldn’t have been happier.’

I reach for Abigail’s hand, and give it a squeeze, I know she misses her mom, and Christmas without her must be hard.

‘She’d been so happy to see you two as well,’ Livia says. ‘Maybe Sy and I have been dancing around each other for so long, you two did as well. And your mom and dad knew, why do you think they spent so much time with Chris, and me?’

Abigail and I smile at each other, before she rests her head on my shoulder. This is going to be the best Christmas ever.

We’ve only experienced one white winter. Together with Sy, the two of us are standing on the porch, staring over the white landscape. All this land, it’s all part of the Syverson legacy. Sy stands behind me, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders and therefore also around me, as he holds me close, placing his chin on top of my head.

‘Christmas has never been so fun,’ I whisper.

‘I can remember a very wonderful Christmas,’ Sy notes. ‘You were fourteen, the tree fell on top of you. That was the greatest Christmas I’ve ever had.’

‘Why?’ I ask.

‘Because we were all together. Mom, dad, Abigail, Chris, you and I. It was fun, because Chris, dad and I went outside, to give the animals some extra food, while you, mom and Abigail were inside, preparing dinner. And then you were in charge of picking us up and you put on my coat and ran towards us, the biggest smile on your face.’ Sy gives me a kiss on top of my head. ‘Dad said that it was only around Christmas time or when I was close that that smile of yours was so bright.’

I lean back against him, letting out a deep sigh. ‘Your dad always knew,’ I say. ‘Sometimes, when we went out for walks, he told me about how much he loved Dottie, how he can recognize a man in love from miles away. He never said how that was the case for us, but the older I became, the better I knew.’ I stare over the landscape, almost seeing Bernard and I standing in the field.

Bernie taught me a lot. Taught me valuable lessons about how to change a tire, how to use certain equipments and more practical things that helped me out later in life, but he also taught me about the things my parents failed to teach me.

‘I remember the week before he died. I helped him out, because he needed someone small to crawl underneath a place. It was also the day you weren’t too fit, so you were bedridden. I told him that I would take care of you in a minute. Then he said to me: “I trust you to forever take good care of Sy.” He continued on to say how Syverson men tend to take care of others and not be taken care off and boy, did I know.’

Sy laughs. ‘He was right about that.’

‘But somehow, I managed to take care of you, Sy all the way throughout high school, just like you took care of me. But I dropped the ball on that one.’

He presses long kisses on my temple. ‘That’s okay, darling. You’re here now. Finally and officially my girl.’

I shiver against him from the cold, but the whole idea of being his girl, makes me smile, makes me giddy. ‘And I’ll be your girl forever and ever. Though I’m still absolutely mortified that your mom and your sister heard us, but I think you and I can manage to forget that.’

He lets out a chuckle. ‘Here I was: thinking it was our little secret.’ He tightens his embrace a little. ‘Do you have to go back to New York City anytime soon?’ he asks.

I know that has been bothering him for a while now. Yesterday and today went by so quickly and I didn’t even consider going back any time soon.

It’s just I haven’t told Sy about that.

‘No, because I can write from anywhere.’ I turn around in his arms and wrap mine around his waist. ‘Besides, the only place I wanna be at, is right here.’

‘Good,’ Sy says, ‘because I might not have let you go if you were planning on going back.’

‘Shoot, had I known, I would’ve lied and see how you were going to restrain me.’

He holds me in a closer embrace than before. ‘Something like this,’ he chuckles.

‘You know, I can sleep in the shed,’ I say. ‘A nice place for me, tranquility all around.’

He scoffs. ‘No way, you’re staying right here with me.’

I stand on my toes to give him a kiss. ‘You know, I don’t think I want to go back to New York. I… Maybe when the holiday craziness is over, I can go back to get my stuff. To… Settle back here.’

His eyes light up. ‘I’d love that. You know, since Abigail and Chris are going to Chicago soon, we can leave the farm with them when they return and you and I can go together. You can show me all the great things in New York.’

I smile widely. ‘Of course, Sy! I would love that even more. You think there is room for me and my stuff here? I wasn’t kidding when I said I can sleep in the shed.’

‘There is room enough for you,’ he tells me. ‘And I don’t want you in the shed by yourself. Come on, you slept in my bed last night and I plan to keep it that way. Don’t be ridiculous.’

Waking up next to his handsome face was all I’ve wanted. I remember waking up next to him many times when I was younger. I either fell asleep in his truck, on their couch or that one time in the shed. His shoulder was always available for me to rest on, but now I can drape my entire body over his and he happily holds me closely.

Because Chris and Abigail are back at the hotel–Chris wasn’t necessarily subtle with the reason why–the house is empty and just for us. ‘How about you and I go to the shed? Sans clothing?’

Sy cocks his eyebrow. ‘Sans clothing? Excuse my French, but sans means without, right?’

I chuckle. ‘Oui.’

He throws me over his shoulder and I let out a scream.

‘Sy, I can walk,’ I laugh, slapping his back.

‘I know, but this is faster.’

Trying to wiggle out of his strong hold is useless, so I just let myself being carried to the shed. I look at the farm, my safe haven back when I was younger. My safe haven now. I can’t stop smiling. New York City was a nice pitstop, but I just know that this is the place where I wanna be. Where I wanna live.

Where I want to spend my happily ever after.

Forever Sapphire Falls.

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sapphirefallschronicles · 1 year

Text

- ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ Welcome to Sapphire Falls - New Years Special #4 ❜┊˚̥۪͙۪◌

Basketballer!Chris Evans x Abigail Syverson (plus size!ofc) & Farmer!Syverson x Livia Darmandi (Asian ofc)

Summary: How is Abigail doing a year later?

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: None

The Advent Calendar (a.k.a. the masterlist)

It’s always nice to come back home on the farm. I love Chicago and I wouldn’t leave that place any time soon, but there is something so peaceful about coming back to the place I will always call home. The place where my roots lay.

It feels good to be back. Especially since Livia is pregnant with my niece or nephew. I wish I could be there everyday, to support her and be part of the whole experience. But we FaceTime nearly everyday instead, so Chris and I are still as involved as possible. I cannot wait to be an aunt, and I will do everything in my power to make sure they have everything they need, be spoiled rotten, and be the cool aunt they tell everything to.

I’m looking at Livia, who is sitting opposite of me at the kitchen table. She looks amazing, pregnant and all. She has this type of glow you only get when you’re carrying, and is definitely rocking it.

We have just arrived home after they picked us up at the airport. The drive back home was chaotic, we all had so much to say. So now we are enjoying a cup of coffee, while Livia is asking a million questions about all the basketball players I meet due to my job and if certain rumors are true (she's obsessed with dating scandals and to be fair: me too). But also about the jet and our flight.

Our flight was heavenly because my boyfriend, and yes I love saying that, has a private jet. No annoying queues, delayed flights, annoying chatty people beside me. And the most important one: the amount of space. Not being crammed into a seat next to other people is a blessing. I’m not tiny or small so I always felt burdened while flying. Therefore, flying with Chris’ private jet is incredible.

I believe Livia has finally run out of questions, as she hasn’t asked one in the last ten seconds. Sy is sitting next to her, rubbing over her belly, having a look of pure adoration on his face.

‘Are you sure you’re not gonna name the baby Abigail if she happens to be a girl?’ I ask.

‘The answer was no, is no and forever will be no,’ Sy grumbles.

‘Mhm, I’ll still call her Abigail junior if it’s a girl.’

Sy throws me a death glare, and I laugh loudly.

‘Guys, I love catching up with you, but I gotta say hi to my babies,’ I say.

‘No!’ Livia exclaims while I’m about to stand up.

‘Don’t tell me Sy killed Honey.’

‘No, of course not! But, it’s a mess there. Sy, honey, why don’t you help me with that?’ Livia bats her eyes at him, and I can tell something’s off. I just can’t pinpoint what.

‘Sure thing,’ Sy answers while avoiding my gaze. They storm out of the kitchen leaving me and Chris behind.

‘C’mon, let’s get comfy on the couch,’ Chris says.

●・○・●・○・●

Chris and I made ourselves comfortable on the couch, while Livia and Sy were running around. They have finally finished whatever they had to do, and are currently making some drinks.

From the couch, I look at the kitchen, to witness my brother getting something from the top shelf. This house was built with tall people in mind and I can tell Sy isn’t too happy about Livia standing on the tiny stools that are now littered around the house. Livia told me he takes care of her a little too well, however she is quick to add that she doesn’t mind, that she just rolls her eyes and continues on with something else.

As Livia prepares her own cup of tea, Sy whispers something in her ear and she starts to giggle. Sy lets his guard down with her, a smile toying on his lips. He wraps his arms around her, placing his chin on top of her head, his hands protectively on her belly. He’s content, he’s happy.

They are so in love. They are married and ready to start a new chapter of their lives. Sometimes I wonder if I am ready for something so domestic. Chris and I are living quite intense and fast paced lives in Chicago, but every time we close the door of our apartment, we play house. Pajama nights, cooking together, joking about taking care of our plant babies. Those moments are the ones I enjoy the most.

But we don’t move like Sy and Livia. It would be useless to compare two different relationships. While those two had shared intimate and beautiful moments with each other even back in high school, me and Chris hadn’t. We had to get to know each other on a different level. We needed time to explore who we were together as a couple. What we wanted and needed from each other.

Besides, being in a relationship after being on your own for so long, was difficult and it had felt uneasy to adjust to something like that. I was so just being by myself, I didn’t know what a healthy relationship could mean. While he was there for me, whenever I needed him, I still felt this burden when I wasn’t feeling alright, or was bothered with something. One day, when I was shutting him out, he pointed it out, and told him how it made him feel.

It was then when I realized I had to put in the work myself. It wasn’t only Chris who had to work for our relationship. I had to learn to let him in, to let him take care of me. I had to learn I didn’t have to do everything alone, that he was there for me, that I could discuss my thoughts with him. I had to learn to be loved.

But after we were past that, we were a match made in heaven.

I snuggle close to him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. ‘I’m so happy you’re here with me.’

He smiles, and tightens his grip around me. ‘So am I.’

Sy and Livia enter the living room, taking place in the giant lazy chair. Livia makes herself comfortable on Sy’s lap, and yawns loudly.

I notice how my brother, who never ever chuckles, chuckles at the sight of it. She has him wrapped all around her finger, and I know for sure he doesn’t stand a chance against the little one.

‘Why don’t we go out for a walk? Get some fresh air?’ Chris says. ‘Let those two have a moment.’ He points at Sy and Livia, the latter falling asleep against Sy’s shoulder.

●・○・●・○・●

It’s not as cold as last year, no snow, no ice, but Sapphire Falls is still beautiful. The sun is setting, painting the sky in the most amazing colors. Chris walks beside me, holding my hand. He hasn’t said much since we came outside. Something is definitely off, because ever since we got together, he has created the habit of talking my ears off when we’re on a walk.

But he is still holding my hand, gently squeezing it every now and then.

We reach the end of our land, a beautiful spot, a little secluded, adjacent to Sapphire Lake. I used to come here a lot when I was younger. There is a little gazebo behind the giant hedges we approach where I came to read, or just relax.

Chris silently leads me towards it, and I suddenly feel the air between us change. His hand has become sweaty, is he nervous?

Wait, why am I hearing goats?

‘So, uhm,’ Chris mutters, pulling me with him as I slow my pace. We turn around the hedge, and I cannot believe my eyes.

The gazebo is decorated with fairy lights and flowers. A path has been made from where we’re standing, to the gazebo, with little white pebbles.

And my babies, my goats, are happily jumping around.

‘Chris!’ I gasp. ‘What, what is all this?’ My heart is beating in my chest, and I feel goosebumps all over my body.

‘Come,’ he simply says, a big grin plastered on his face. He gently tugs at my hand, and luckily my legs know what to do, otherwise I would not move an inch.

I follow him in the gazebo, and when we stand inside, I look up and see the entire ceiling is covered with lights, like little stars.

When I look back in front of me, I notice Chris has gone down on one knee in front of me.

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.

With my hand in his, he starts talking: ‘Abi, my life with you this past year has been all I ever wanted. I love waking up next to you everyday, I love knowing you’re there when I have a game, I love our pajama night and I even love watching The Bachelor with you.’ He stops for a minute, as he takes a deep breath. The tears had already formed in my eyes, and I spot a little shimmering in his eyes as well.

‘You make me a better person, and I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life without you. You are the love of my life, baby.’

I don’t think I can smile any bigger. So many emotions are racing through my body, and all I want to do is answer the question that he is about to say.

‘Will you please marry me?’ he finally asks.

‘Yes, one hundred percent yes!’ I yell, and I pull him to his feet before our lips crash into each other. We pulled each other closer as our kiss deepend, completely lost in the moment.

When we break apart, to take a breath, I feel like I’m on cloud nine.

‘You do have a ring, right?’ I tease.

‘Matter of fact, I do,’ Chris snickers. ‘Where is she?’ he adds, almost inaudible.

‘Where is who?’ I ask, but then I notice my not so little Honey approaching us with a little package dangling from her neck. ‘Oh my god!’’

Honey jumps forwards, happily bumping into me, and I provide her from the needed scratches. Chris removes the little package, and shows me the most beautiful ring.

He slides in on my finger, and everything is right about it. It’s 100% me, and so was this proposal. The secluded spot, the fairy lights, the goats, and his speech. I couldn’t have been more perfect.

I grab his face, and firmly press my lips to his while wrapping my arms around his neck.

‘I so have to tell Livia and Sy about this.’ I laugh, after we needed to take another breath. Chris has me engulfed in his arms, as we watch Honey and her friends jumping around us.

‘Look to your right,’ Chris whispers, and when I do, I see both of them, hiding behind the bushes. Livia jumps up and down as far as possible in her condition, holding a camera, while I notice Sy is smiling. He is actually smiling at me. I don’t know what surprises me more, that Chris proposed or that Sy is smiling at me.

I turn my attention back to Chris, and I let out a heavy sigh. ‘You have no idea how happy you make me,’ I whisper, leaning my forehead against his.

‘I love you,’ he whispers back.

‘Forever and always.’

●・○・●・○・●

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sapphirefallschronicles · 1 year

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- ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ Welcome to Sapphire Falls - chapter 22 ❜┊˚̥۪͙۪◌

Basketballer!Chris Evans x Abigail Syverson (plus size!ofc) & Farmer!Syverson x Livia Darmandi (Asian ofc)

Summary: The Syverson twins have a little heart to heart.

Word count: 2k

Warnings: None

The Advent Calendar (a.k.a. the masterlist)

The deal with loving Chris Evans as much as I do, is that you’ll inevitably get your heart broken. No, wait, it gets ripped out of your chest and someone puts it on a juicer, only to make me feel that gut wrenching feeling.

Why don’t I stop loving him?

I sign deeply as I stare out the kitchen window, a cup of steaming hot tea in my hands. When he showed up in town again, I was afraid of letting him back in my life. But on the other hand, it felt good. So good.

Now that I got a taste of having him back in my life again, I don’t want him to go away. But I don’t know if I can deal with him if we’re only friends. I don’t want to be just friends. I never wanted to be, but back in high school I didn’t have the confidence to ask for more.

And I regret that. I regret not telling him what I wanted. I regret one particular moment. Going to prom. As friends.

●・○・●・○・●

I knew that when the school asked me to be the photographer for prom, I’d be riding solo a lot. Despite arriving with Chris. Of course I didn’t expect him to be by my side all night.

However it did hurt when that happened. After we arrived at prom, he guided me towards the photo stand. He stayed with me for a few minutes, but then the first girl came to ask him for a dance. He politely declined, but when another one came, I just told him to go. I didn’t want him to go, but how could I deprive him of dancing at prom? Of having fun?

That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. I saw him dancing with another girl, followed by three more.

What I hated even more, was that they were slim, pretty and wore gorgeous dresses. Of course Chris would dance with them. I couldn’t even get my dress at that one store in town they all brought theirs. Mom took me to another town, to a store for grown ups where they had dresses I fit.

I took pictures all night long and usually it was enough for me to be distracted. Seeing Livia and Sy being the designated wall flowers, a lot of the players of our school’s basketball team managed to sneak in some alcohol and I could safely testify that alcohol did not increase their ability to dance.

The night luckily went by quickly. I took the most beautiful pictures, but it didn’t feel like my prom. I hadn’t been on the dancing floor, not for even a second. And that stung to be honest.

Somehow I figured Chris would come ask me for a dance. I should have known he wouldn’t, not when he had all those other girls to dance with. I had to say, they were beautiful, so of course he wouldn’t ask me.

As I was packing my bags at the end of the night, my heart felt heavy. I had no business feeling this disappointed. I had no business feeling so hurt. Chris Evans would never choose me. It was clear he had a type, as every girl he danced with tonight was pretty and skinny.

And I was not. I was the best friend. Just the funny best friend. The sidekick, never the main character,

‘Hi,’ I heard behind me and I looked up, only for my eyes to meet Chris’. A spark of hope ignited inside me.

‘Hi,’ I said.

‘Are you ready to go?’

It was clear, the last spark of hope I had, where he asked me for one more dance, despite no one being here, dissolved into thin air.

But who was I kidding? I never stood a chance to date Chris Evans.

‘Yeah, I’m ready,’ I said.

He grabbed the bags from my hand and said: ‘Let me show you the way to the fancy carriage.’

And that was how it would always be: me and Chris would remain friends.

Forever.

●・○・●・○・●

Why did I always put other people before me? I regret not standing up for myself back then. Prom broke my heart, and while it’s no use now, I should have spoken to Chris about it. Or at least Livia. But as a true Syverson, I bottle feelings up.

Just like I haven't told Sy I’m not happy at the farm anymore. I’ve put everything aside to be with the one bit of family I have left, but… Maybe it’s time for me to be a little selfish and put me first. I bet that if Sy knew how I was feeling, he would… Understand. I hope.

And maybe I can still do the logistical parts of the farm from wherever I am. It’s just calling, arranging and answering emails. I don’t want to burden Sy with that, because that would just give him more stress. Plus, I’m actually good at it.

There has to be a way for us both to be happy, right?

I realize I have to talk to Sy. Today.

There is a possibility I have reached top tier rage. I cannot believe she went with him. Fucking Ian. By the time I got out of the bar, Livia and that asshole were nowhere to be seen. We were about to discuss something important. I now know she remembers our night in the shed, but fuck, I need to know more about it, about how she hoped my wish came true and I had her forever.

All before Ian had to ruin it.

The last thing I remember was that look. Her pleads, telling me it’s not worth it. This happened many times before and I hate how even then she was my external conscious and nothing has changed.

Not even after more than eleven years.

●・○・●・○・●

There was blood running down my face, while Livia gently tugged me with her. ‘You didn’t need to do that,’ she said once we entered the kitchen of the farm. Thankfully no one was home, meaning no one was gonna ask questions. ‘Sit down.’

Like I was a little puppy, I plopped down on the chair, while she grabbed the first aid kid. ‘That’s not necessary.’

And then she looked over her shoulder with probably one of the sternest looks I’d even seen on her. ‘Shut up,’ she told me, before she grabbed a cloth, as she turned on the tap.

‘Liv, I was only trying to protect you.’

‘Who says I need protection?’

‘Didn’t you hear the things he said to you? It was racist and sexist. You can’t possibly think I am gonna let some asshole talk about you like that?’

‘Violence is never the answer,’ she deadpanned once she made her way over to me. She carefully cleaned the wound and now she had a certain expertise. She had done this a few times too many in the last year. We both knew why.

Dealing with losing my father hadn’t been easy and my temper was evidence of how hard I found it. But because I felt like my dad’s role of protector was now resting on my shoulders, I lost my patience and temper way too quickly.

So when that shitface said those things to Livia, I just couldn’t help myself.

I remembered clearly when my dad, Liv and I were in town. Livia was already ahead of us, when my dad heard some dipshit say something racist to her. While I was already fuming, my dad kept his cool, but managed to terrify that guy. My dad told her he would always be there to protect her.

But he wasn’t here anymore. Now I had to protect her. But I wasn’t that calm and collected like my dad.

’Sy,’ Livia whispered, as she held my chin, ‘promise me you won’t do that again.’

I shook my head. ‘I’m not promising that,’ I told her. ‘I’m not going to stop protecting you. Ever.’

She scoffed. ‘I don’t want you to get hurt, okay?’

‘You did see the other guy, didn’t you?’ I asked her as the vivid memory of the intense nosebleed ran through my mind again. ‘I’m not gonna get hurt.’

She placed her hand on my cheek, before shaking her head. ‘Sy,’ she whispered, ‘you can’t get hurt. Please. I can’t lose you too.’

I wrapped my arm around her waist, to pull her into an embrace. ‘You’re not gonna lose me.’

She rested her chin on top of my head and whispered: ‘I know that losing your dad hasn’t been easy. But maybe, instead of throwing a punch at everyone who looks funny at you or me, consider counting to ten.’

‘Mhm.’

‘And know that I always want to listen to everything that is on your heart,’ she said.

‘I know that.’ I pulled back and asked: ‘You’re not gonna tell me off because I hit the guy?’

‘No, because he did deserve it. Can you just try to count to ten?’

I nodded. ‘Yeah, for you I will, however whenever someone says something like this to you ever again, I will not.’

‘I fear I have to live with that,’ she said with a chuckle. ‘Now sit back and let me take care of these wounds.’

●・○・●・○・●

‘I know you’re angry and shit,’ I hear a voice from behind me, ‘but I need you to listen to me.’

‘I’m not in the mood, Abigail.’

She stops in front of me and I glare at her. For fuck’s sake, she doesn’t care whether or not I want to listen to her. She is going to spill the beans and I am not here for it. ‘I don’t care whatever it is that’s going on between you and Livia and that Ian guy and since you are such a Syverson, you will not listen to my advice anyway.’

I don’t even pretend to not be offended. ‘Okay.’

‘I don't wanna live here anymore,’ Abigail says and I thank the stars for my immaculate poker face. ‘You know how photography is my life, but you also know how farm life isn’t for me. I put my life on hold when mom died, because you are my brother and I couldn’t leave you behind, but… I am not happy, Sy.’

While Chris prepared me for such thing, this does come as a surprise. However, I will not let Abigail in on my shock. ‘Oh, okay.’

She blinks her eyes. ‘Did you even hear what I just said?’

‘Yes,’ I tell her. ‘I heard what you said. I… I guess I took you putting your life on hold for granted.’

She is utterly confused. ‘I can still do some logistical things from a distance, until you find someone who can do that.’

‘Okay.’

‘For fuck’s sake, Sy, you gotta give me more than an okay. I just told you I wanna leave. I must mean something to you, for you to give me a better reaction.’

I sigh. ‘Okay, I appreciate having you here,’ I say, ‘but you are right. This was my dream. Honey Bee Ranch was always gonna be my future. But you were made for other things. A life outside Sapphire Falls.’

Abigail smiles sadly. ‘I’m gonna miss this place,’ she then says. ‘And I promise you I’ll be back, so you can do whatever you wanna do. So you can visit Livia.’

I scoff. ‘Like that is ever gonna happen.’

‘Do I want to know?’

I shake my head. ‘Nope.’

‘Well,’ Abigail says, ‘I wasn’t planning on leaving tomorrow or anything, but… This upcoming year, I have to spread my wings.’

‘I know,’ I tell her. ‘And you’re gonna conquer the world. Mom and dad would be proud of you.’

She smiles. ‘Likewise.’ She sighs and asks: ‘Is this a moment where other siblings would hug?’

‘Perhaps, but we ain’t like other siblings. The day I hug you, is probably the day I die.’

She flips me the finger. ‘You’re an idiot, I hate you.’ But then she smiles. ‘Sy, thank you, for being so understanding. And know that wherever I am, I’ll always come back.’

‘I know.’

‘I will also leave behind some instructions on how to deal with the goats.’

‘You’re not taking the demons with you?’ I jokingly ask.

‘No,’ she says with a smile. ‘But don’t worry, from now on, I’ll only say sweet things about you to them.’

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sapphirefallschronicles · 1 year

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- ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ Welcome to Sapphire Falls - chapter 19 ❜┊˚̥۪͙۪◌

Basketballer!Chris Evans x Abigail Syverson (plus size!ofc) & Farmer!Syverson x Livia Darmandi (Asian ofc)

Summary: Sy wants to talk about Livia's story, but he encounters someone unexpected instead.

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: None

The Advent Calendar (a.k.a. the masterlist)

I usually identify as a slow reader, but this short story of hers… I flew through it. After Livia finished editing the second part and got it printed, I read it in one go.

And now I want to talk about it. I need to talk about it, because this story almost seems autobiographical. Almost like this is how she and I could’ve ended. Her short story had two storylines intertwined. One was if the main character left the small town she grew up in and the other was if she stayed.

When the main character Alyssa left town, she “fell” in love with others, but never quite attached. The other storyline of how she stayed in town, meant realizing how she’s in love with the farmer she always gushed about, even in the other storyline where she left town.

I can’t help but wonder if that’s how our lives could’ve gone, had she and I not lost contact.

So, I take it upon myself to make my way to her hotel room and take the first step. To talk about it. There is so much unspoken between us. I want to ask her about everything that has kept me busy these last few years.

What if I actually left the farm a few times and went to visit her in New York? What if she came back, knowing I would happily welcome her with open arms? What if she was here to attend my mom’s funeral? What if she had said I love you to me one more time, so I could take that step and ask her to love me forever? What if she never stopped kissing me?

All those possibilities.

I knock on the door of her hotel room and it takes a while before the door opens. But when it finally happens, it’s opened by a dude. ‘Hello,’ he says. I wonder if I’m at the wrong room, but this really is her room number. ‘Can I help you?’

He’s polite, looks like a guy who has it all together. Blouse, straight jeans, shoes that don’t have mud on them. ‘Is Livia around?’

‘Livia is busy.’

‘Yeah,’ her annoyed voice sounds from the back. ‘With packing your suitcase, so you can get out of my face. You should’ve just arranged a room for yourself.’ She drags him away from the door and smiles briefly when she sees me. ‘Hi Sy, what’s up?’

‘Uh…’ All words are forgotten. ‘Is this an okay time?’

‘Yeah, Ian was just leaving.’

Ian. So this is that ex-boyfriend. He looks like the type of guy who is the nerdy friend of the jock. An excellent description. ‘You know what,’ I say, ‘we’ll talk later.’

‘Are you sure?’ she asks. ‘Is something wrong? Is Abigail okay?’

‘Abigail is fine,’ I say. ‘Nothing’s wrong. I… I’ll talk to you later, Liv.’

She nods. ‘I’m sorry,’ she mouths.

I frown, not understanding why she’s apologizing.

‘For Ian.’ Without making so much of a noise, she apologizes for something she didn’t do.

I nod at her, before I walk away, but by the time I’m outside, I’m fuming. I could’ve and should’ve known that in the time that Livia went to New York, she’d meet other guys, she’d spend time with them. Livia is a gorgeous woman and I know she would have the entire campus chasing after her in no time.

But there is a part of me that is absolutely livid to know that this lowlife of a man was her boyfriend. The man who had broken her heart. Who is probably here uninvited.

This son of a bitch touched her and loved her, in a way that isn’t good enough for Livia.

While she deserves perfection and I know I can’t live up to that, I do feel like I know my Liv well enough. At least better than that jerk Ian.

I for instance would never break up with her, let alone more than once.

Once I’m back at the farm, Abigail and I bump into one another. I can go days without seeing her, without bumping into her, but now when I don’t want to see anyone, I see her. ‘What is up with you?’ Abigail asks.

‘Get out of the way.’

‘No, no, wait,’ Abigail says, not allowing me to pass. Sometimes I forget she’s also a Syverson, meaning she’s strong as heck. ‘You look furious.’

‘Liv’s ex-boyfriend is here.’

‘And?’

‘He looks like an idiot.’

She chuckles. ‘Are you jealous?’

‘Why would I be jealous of a guy who’s her ex?’

Abigail sighs. ‘I’m not even going to sketch an image for you, because you might kill me in the process.’

I groan, because now I have sketched an image for myself. Wonderful. ‘I was gonna talk to her,’ I say. ‘Talk about everything.’

‘Talk about how you two belong together?’

I hate to admit it, but Abigail is right. ‘Maybe, yeah. She wrote a story and I think it’s about us. And the possibilities of us together.’

‘I’ll be damned. Caleb Syverson wants to voluntarily talk about his emotions and feelings. I am shocked.’ When she sees I can’t see the humor in it, she stops chuckling. ‘Wow, Sy, you really love her. Guess I always knew, but… This is on another level.’

I clench my jaw. ‘I don’t want to talk about it. I… Just like you don’t ever want to talk about whatever you and Chris have.’

Her eyes darken. ‘You’re right. Get lost, Sy. We won’t talk about it again.

I walk passed her into the field, hoping to find myself a chore to distract my racing thoughts.

●・○・●・○・●

I’ve always hated it when people would look at Liv. Unbeknownst to herself, she had this way of attracting people, forcing them to look at her. Girls wanted to be her, guys wanted to have her. She herself was convinced that wasn’t true, but it was. The only reason no one asked her to the homecoming dances and basketball games, was because they knew she would go with me.

But they stole glances.

And weren’t necessarily subtle with it.

Liv and I were in the noisy cafeteria, while Abigail was at basketball practice, taking pictures of Chris and the team. She was the school’s designated photographer and since the death of our dad, she had been picking up more photography gigs here at school.

‘Sy,’ Liv said, still as oblivious as always, ‘why would the main character of a book intentionally screw up her relationship with her best friend?’

As usual, Liv was nose deep in a book, enamored by what was happening. The thing was, that I didn’t read and she loved to read. Since this was mandatory reading for class, she did the reading and told me all about it, usually packaged in these types of questions. Sometimes she’d read me the book, while I was at work on the farm, but she hasn’t done that in a while.

Mostly because the last few times she did that, she read the book for both me and my dad. Dad loved listening to her, because–and these were his words–she had a way with the written word. Her Christmas cards were elaborate, the way she would enjoy books was miles apart from my hatred towards them and her reading books aloud, often prompted my dad to tell her she should become a voice actress.

‘I don’t know,’ I mumbled. ‘Because the best friend is a bitch?’

She glared at me. ‘No, because she has attachment issues. Horribly sad and inconvenient.’

‘How is it inconvenient?’

‘Her friend has the answers.’ She closed her book and said: ‘You’re frowning, Sy. What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing,’ I said, but that was a lie. I hated the way the guys three tables over were looking at her.

It had been four months since my dad died and I could feel myself fuming now whenever someone was looking at her. At first, I just hated it, but now my entire body would tense up and a feeling of overprotectiveness would rush through my veins.

My dad had been the protector of the ranch, of my mom, of Abigail and me, but also of both Chris and Livia. He believed in Chris’ potential to become a NBA player and was the fatherly type Livia needed, with her own parents being more concerned about themselves, than the wellbeing of their daughter.

Dad would go on long walks with her and they’d talk. Sometimes I was curious about what, but I realized she never asked about my private conversations with my dad, therefore I didn’t press.

But now he was gone and I missed him. I realized I put my mourning into taking care of everything, by being the man of the house and therefore made sure that Liv was okay. Sometimes she stopped me, other times she let me.

‘Don’t lie to me,’ she said. ‘Everything’s wrong. Clenched jaw, balled fists, tense shoulders.’ She leaned over and whispered: ‘You know people can look, right?’

While she always denied that people were looking, she also knew that was what was bothering me. Instead of telling me off, Liv pushed the book in her backpack and told me that we were going. I didn’t ask why. Instead, I followed her and we sat down outside on a bench.

‘Sy, you are my best friend, but you can’t have that much anger building inside of you when people are just looking. This is not good for you.’ Livia wrapped her arms around my shoulder and tugged me closer, before she said: ‘I know you miss him, but you know your dad would never want you to feel like this.’

I knew that. And maybe the anger had intensified after my dad died, but these feelings I had for her, they had always been there.

Because I had always loved her and maybe even more so now.

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