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Letters my late mother will never receive

Taken from Rutee’s page in the 20th anniversary encyclopedia.

Hey, Mom? I think I’ve decided what I’m going to do. I’m going to be a Lens Hunter to make money for the orphanage. That should be easier than working as a bodyguard or courier. I know it’s not exactly the safest job, but I can’t really do anything to hide that. And I don’t think there’s anyone out there who’s worried about me, anyway. I don’t want any regrets. I’m going to live to protect my “family” in my own way. Hey, Mom? What are “comrades?” I don’t need to hang around people like these guys who are so carefree, knowing nothing of the hardships of life. I’m fine with just working with my partner, Mary. But I got told “We’re friends, so of course I’ll save you,” and “You’re a girl, so you need to take good care of yourself.” So silly. I wanted to say, “But you might die saving me, y’know?” That follows the same line of reasoning. But I guess being friends with one happy-go-lucky fellow like him isn’t too bad. Hey, Mom? I’m really sorry. I killed my brother. Apparently, our father made use of his biggest weakness and he was left with no choice but to betray us and the rest of the world. He suffered, because that was the only thing he had to live for. But for so long, I never even knew he existed. While he was trying to get by in this world of chaos, just trying to protect the one person who mattered to him, I was safe in the arms of the sisters at the orphanage and with plenty of friends around, only having poverty to worry about. He had so many chances to reveal that we were siblings, but he never took a single one. I guess to him, he never had a sister in the first place. Hey, Mom? Hugo may have been the one to send Leon to his death, but he gave his life in order to protect me. He also told me to take care. It’s ridiculous. He put the whole world at stake and tried to kill us, yet in his final moments acted like a father to me. He shook off Miktran’s influence just enough to allow us to escape. Some might say that since he did something like that when it counted that I should forgive him. Only a fool would do that. But you know, as angry as I was, I cried. Because I realized that there was a reason why I was born into this world. That smile he gave was from the man who my mother, Chris Katrea, had loved. Hey, Mom? When all of this is over, I think I’m going to try believing in others more. I always told myself “Always assume everyone’s a thief,” after all. But now I know that hearts don’t represent people’s weakness. They represent the courage to recognize our weaknesses and grow from them. I think a carefree, simple-minded, good-natured yet passionate fool taught me this.