This is so sick. So so sick.

Total blackout as Gaza is being bombarded and those who had the power to do something just let it happen.

Those who support Israel have blood on their hands and from the bottom of my heart I hope you burn in hell.

!!!BIG TRIGGERWARNING FOR METIONS OF DRUGS, CHILD NEGLECT GANG ACTIVITY!!!

just dont read this i just need to put it somewhere,, im safe now, i seriously do not think the person im writing about is going to be

protip,,, dont be friends with your drug dealer... dont fucking rely on him for two years when your mum was completely gone.

HOW THE HELL did we meet in a math class??? how does that become what is happening now?

mum was never home and your company was so easy to seek out. living so close probably didnt help anything, but i needed you there. i would be dead. i seriously be dead. i was so close so so so many times. and then there you were banging on my door with a fifty for me. gatorades taste like SHIT. and mums nice hose is fucked now. there's probably a lot of gross shit in my lungs. especially from that STUPIF FUCKING HOSE PIPE I USED FOR MONTHS (i think 8?) it was always fun though. we just sit around and smoke and eat whatever shitty food i could afford with what fucking scaps of money mum left at the house when she was home (once a fuckinh week) it was nice to be able to have a spot for it lol. i still have the book we used to use to fucking roll jays in. i use it to press flowers of all things now. (got some in there at the momment for the the girl im kinda in love with who unfortunately lives on the literal other side of the world, shes great though i dunno if youd get along well with her shes more intune with my nerdy gay shit than you are,,)

the past summer. was. insane. you and her were not good together and im sorry for what happened to you in that situation.

being in the back seat of that car. at twilight. was HORRIFIC. i dont think either of you noticed that i was having a panic attack (it was my first one in months,, thanks for that) and then being stuck at that stupid fucking beach in the middle of BUTTFUCK NOWHERE with both of you fucking have a bad trip. there was NOTHING. for me to take to calm down either so i was just fucking shitting it in the car for the whole damn night. the ranger coming scared the SHIT OUT OF ME. like silence after 10 would have fucked you guys if you hadnt known. why did u cap that night??? i still dont understand. ur comedown while we were driving home the next morning was so gross. you were fucking punchjng the roof of the car!!! and the people at the truck stop were giving the three of us some very fucking weird looks. im pretty sure that if i wasnt in that car with the both of you that you would have fucking died. like literally. or fucked the car up anyway. there were so many fucking ROOS. jesus christ the kangaroos. the beach though,, god damn it was one of the most beautiful things ive seen in my life. sucks you were having a bad trip tho because the stars ended up being fucking weird for you but for me,, they were amazing. ive seen good stars before but those. those were something else. it was super fucking weird to get to it though? the beach i mean,, from where you parked anyway. if we had of turned right (like you wanted to) you would have bogged the car. which would have SUCKED. i still cant believe you dropped when we were leaving the city. that was so stupid. the drive to my old town and the place we were going was at least two and a half hours. you were fucked before we were half way there. so so so stupid. its a funny story to tell now though i guess

some time later that summer we were at the foreshore,, a little further along than were we used to go for seshing, i can't remember really what it was for? maybe for the exchange student or something. but i dont really remember honestly. (bit of a blur ironically) but anyway i remember that was the first time that i heard about this plan of yours. to move with that guy. i didnt really think much of it honestly. like i thought it was just unno spur of the momment shit,, (you were capping im pretty sure,, and i think viagra cause caps fuck up your dick lmao) but i guess not? but yeah i thought it was a load of BULLSHIT after today i guess not, six months and youre gone? seriously? im literally going to pray for you. and i dont do that very often anymore. i asked if it would be okay if i could visit. but is that a good idea? like will i even be safe? would you be able to confirm that i was gunna be safe? are you gunna be high enough up in this thing to confirm that?

ive cried for you so many times in the past, this year only a few times,, after summer when u were still super caught up in caps i was worried you were gunna get into the heavier shit (which i suppose i should be even more worried about that now) i cried a lot about that. at the ball i cried for you in the bathroom after you got kicked out. i was actually super angry about what happened that night. she seriously fucked you around which was so unfair. (i still hate her stupid fuckinh girlfriend lol shes dumb as dog shit. who the fuck is gay and an antivaxer in 2020 what kind of bullshit. shes genuinely one of the stupids cunts ive ever met) ive got a picture of me crying in the bathroom. cause i thought it was funny.

i'll remember you forever. stay as safe as possible. and hurt as few people as you can. you were a brother to me. genuinely. and ill never forget that.

i love you dude. theres always a bed at mine