the thing with destiel is how actually heteronormative it is as perceived by the shippers. the need in creating gender roles in a gay ship, the desire for a heternormative like ending with dean and cas' character where they get married, have kids and shit. if i wanted to watch that i'd just watch it a casual straight romance, not this boring ass heteronormative narrative that got slapped into a gay ship. and it is so projecting too... and it's very telling. they imagine destiel to be like this because that's what the shippers want to have themselves, pure projecting and nothing else that much and just boring undertones.

No you’re honestly really correct. Like I know heIIers will swear up and down that D*stiel can’t be heteronormative because it’s two men and I men… yes and no. Because yes it’s two men, but the way you’re treating them in your little invented narrative is so fucking mad that it genuinely seems heteronormative, and that’s in the best case scenario. Worst case scenario is that it’s just flagrantly homophobic lmfao. That is my official Gay Man™ opinion here.

Because it’s not even *just* the idea of two men being married and having a family that’s heteronormative (as unsettling as the whole D*stiel white picket fence thing is—I’ll get to that). It’s the bizarre spin heIIers tend to put on the aforementioned men’s dynamic, and it makes me feel insane.

Readmore for length lol

Like I can’t count how many times I’ve come across D*stiel posts that are supposed to be funny? I think? Where the joke is that Dean feels the need to either “be”, or to treat Cas like, “the woman” in their relationship. Like it’s Dean being weird about who does the housework or takes out the trash, or being all “old ball and chain” about Cas, or Cas being Dean’s “wife”, and shit like that. That is heteronormative as well as homophobic in my opinion, not to mention reductive as hell. But aye sure even Dean’s gross misogyny and homophobia has to be woobified I guess 😐

If these jokes are coming from actual mlm then that’s one thing (still not anything I’m into, still indicative of more than a few issues, but… it’s one thing). A lot of the time though this stuff is just straight up coming from f/u/j/o/s/h/i types which means not only is it heteronormative and homophobic but now it’s also a fetish thing. Especially when it comes to men expressing femininity in any way shape or form, or at least expressing what said fetishists think is feminine for men (i.e. bottoming during sex). It all makes me feel so gross tbh I don’t even want to get into it really.

Then there’s the glaring fact that the two men heIIers are cramming into this Stepford white picket fence ice cream sundae family barbecue suburban Americana rubbish in the first place, are Castiel and Dean Winchester, and that makes it even more insanity-inducing to me personally. Cas is a billions of years old angel. Dean is both a serial killer and a serial abuser. I literally can’t think of a trope more ill-fitting for either of them, especially for Dean. Happy, married, dad!Dean is wildly ooc and quite obviously pure unfettered self-indulgence on the part of Dean fans who just wanted him to be happy for whatever reason, and like. Self-indulgence is fine! We all do it! But let’s call it what it is!

Something that’s also self-indulgence is the “with kids” angle because every aspect of it is just…. simply not what it is in the show. Like obviously there’s the whole making Jack a literal baby thing but in particular my jaw simply drops when not only is someone posting about suburban domestic D*stiel, but is also implying that Claire moves in with them and is just literally their daughter or something?? You have to be wilfully ignorant of soooo many things, not least of all everything Jody’s done for Claire, to make that work and it just blows my mind that people can write this stuff without batting an eye. But if you’ve already invented a completely new Dean anyway then I guess everything’s in the air isn’t it.

There’s also something to be said about how the apparent *epitome* of a happy, peaceful ending for any and all fictional characters is Stepford white picket fence ice cream sundae family barbecue suburban Americana rubbish. But that’s for another essay 😭