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#I'm yelling at an imaginary person here for the record
penroseparticle · 7 months
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Nothing annoys me more lately than "Going to the gym isn't a personality" like yes??? it is???
People talk about the things they care about, that they spend time on, that they put effort into. That includes their bodies?
I work with a lot of athletes. Like more than your typical amount. And they will happily debate protein powders, tell you they're doing a new training regimen, talk about Lat Pulls like having opinions on them is something obviously I have as well. Going to the gym is exciting for them- they tell me they hit a new personal best bench press, or are trying to hit a specific weight class, or are working on knee strength after their surgery. They compare times they threw up or got too dizzy.
The same way when I talk to MTG players they tell me about their new EDH deck, or talk about that one wombo combo they pulled in Draft, or this asshole at FNM. It's all just nuts and bolts for a thing they care about. I don't know much of anything about Knitting but a lot of my friends do, and I would NEVER tell them that "Knitting isn't a personality" just because I personally find it boring or whatever. Because I would be an asshole.
Going to the gym is a ~personality~, it's just not one you want to talk about. You don't care about machine vs. free weights. You don't want to know how long they spent working out this morning. Frankly, you want them to do the work at the gym and not give you a peek behind the curtain. You want people to look good, look fit, look how you want to, but not talk about how much work and effort it takes to do so. Working out to you is a chore, and an unpleasant one at that, so you'd rather they not remind you of it.
But exercising your body shouldn't be a chore, it should be something you enjoy- your favorite rock climbing place, the dance class you and your friends take, etc. These people LIKE going to the gym. They would gladly tell you about it. And if for some reason you are talking to someone who works out religiously but hates every second of it- first of all, yikes, buddy you don't have to live that way- but second of all, that person will not talk to you about the gym. They will talk to you about what they are actually passionate about.
You don't have to enjoy their hobby! You can think the gym is boring, or exercise isn't interesting. But like. say that. The gym can be a personality. Anything can be a personality.
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okwritingandpain · 6 months
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Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da: The Beatles x Reader
Chapter 18
Y/N sat in the corner of the recording studio with her arms crossed. George had put everyone into a pissy mood again. While John and Paul had sorted out their differences, George decided to make everyone's day a living hell. 
"I think I should get a solo here." He said as everyone rolled their eyes.
"You've said that for every song! You aren't the most important person in this band!" John snapped. 
"And you are?" George sneered. John was ready to choke out George, but Y/N glared at him from across the room. 
"We don't need a solo in this song George, maybe next time--" Paul was cut-off. 
"Next time? Really, next time? How many times have I heard that everybody!" George spread his arms in the air, motioning to an imaginary crowd. 
"George, that is enough!" Paul snapped. 
"So, I'm not enough, huh?" George hissed, almost throwing his guitar of his lap. Ringo dove and caught it as he left his drum set. Storming out of the room, George muttered to himself. 
"If he only would listen." Paul mumbled, standing up and walking over to Ringo's drums. "Ringo, do you mind if I--" 
"Bang away." Ringo said, putting George's guitar in its case. John plugged his ears as Paul angrily hit the drums. Ringo whistled, not minding the loud noise that echoed in the room. He set George's case next to his coat that he had left behind. John began putting his own guitar away as he seemed to be upset himself. Ringo strolled over to Y/N, sitting next to her on the floor. She had her ears plugged as Paul let the drumstick hit the crashing symbols. "Let's get out of here!" Ringo yelled. She nodded as he guided her out of the room. Leaving the room, Ringo grabbed a coin out of his pocket and he began to flip it in the air. 
"I guess I can never escape the craziness of the Beatles." She commented, watching him flip the coin. He chuckled, turning the corner and heading out the front doors. George was sitting on the bench outside the studio, looking around angrily. He held a newspaper in his hand, pretending like he was reading. 
"It's almost impossible." Ringo replied, keeping his distance from George. 
"I feel like a nuisance. Is there anyway I can make everyone happy?" Y/N asked. 
"Now that's impossible." He remarked, sneaking past George into a near by building. You attempted to follow him, but George caught you first. 
"Y/N?" He asked, setting the paper on his lap. She made a nervous smile, looking behind her for Ringo. 
"Hey Georgie!" She smiled. 
"What are you doing out here?" He asked, blushing a bit. Maybe he thought she was here for him. 
"I wanted to check on you." She lied, going over to sit next to him on the bench. 
"Really? You mean it? That's brilliant!" He cheered, giving her a hug. "I was hoping you would...I mean I was hoping someone would come out here." 
"You just stormed out and all..." Y/N murmured. George frowned as he looked at the ground. 
"Sorry about that. I'm just a bit...worked up lately." He said, softly. "I just feel so...left behind." 
"You shouldn't have to feel that way...you are very important to the band and everyone loves you--" 
"Everyone says I'm the quiet one! I'm not important to anyone who should think I'm important! I don't even have someone...to tell me otherwise." He held his knees to his chest. Y/N thought for a moment before responding. What would she be able to tell George. He of course was important, but there was something that nagged in her mind. Something she couldn't quite place her finger on. There was just...
"Do you want a relationship, George?" She blurted, regretting the words right as they left her mouth. 
"It seems someone finally picked it up." George muttered, leaning back in his seat. She was right? 
"I did?" 
"Yeah. I think even you know who I wished it was with." He whispered, looking down the street where Ringo was ease dropping. 
"Ringo?" She joked to the amusement of George. 
"Yes, obviously." He laughed, "No..."
"Me?" 
"Bingo." He frowned, twisting his fingers gingerly. "John likes you though...and Paul. I guess I should let old Johnny boy and Paulie have you. They always get first say." 
"I don't exactly want to be 'haved' but I have noticed...a dissonance between you all...except for Ringo of course." Y/N replied, "I don't want you all to fight over me. You're a band, hell you're brothers!" George smiled at her words, but even he knew that it was more complicated then just to stop having feelings for her. 
"I think it all stems from us never being quite the popular crowd with woman." George said. Y/N wanted to burst out laughing because George had no idea what was coming for him in the future. 
"I'm sure that will change." She snorted as he raised an eyebrow towards her. "Woman will love you! Maybe men will too!" 
"What?" Crap. 
"Uh, I meant as a musician." She quickly said. That was still pretty foreign at the time. "You are very talented and everybody likes talented people who are nice and don't break up their band over a girl." 
"Are you sure?" He laughed, "I though that was pretty popular with people right now." 
"I think you're a little ahead of your time, George Harrison." She smiled, watching Ringo slowly walk back towards them. 
"I think you're a heart stopped, Y/N." He added quickly before Ringo was in ear shot. 
"I think that was pretty cheesy." She smirked. George let out a chuckle. 
"There you are, Y/N!" Ringo said, approaching them.
"You knew we were talking this whole time, Ring." She said as he shrugged. 
"I don't know what you are talking about." He said, turning to George. "Are you feeling better, Georgie?" 
"I wish I could say I wasn't." George smirked, "Then you would buy me ice cream." 
"That is true, but since Y/N's here I'll buy you one anyway." Ringo pulled George out of the seat and everyone started down the street. 
"You know it's a good day when Ringo Starr buys you an ice cream." George smiles, skipping ahead of them. 
"Quite the opposite." Ringo adds, catching up to George. She laughed as the two raced down the street. How could they break up such a bond over her? It wasn't long before they arrived at the ice cream parlor that was decorated with blue and white stripes. Inside was thousands of flavors that made her mouth water with joy. George immediately when over to the Chocolate section. Ringo on the other hand was looking at...Sherbet, but in Britain they called it, "Sorbet". 
"You're a...Sorbet fan?" Y/N had to remember the term. 
"It is truly better than Ice cream." Ringo remarked with smug expression. 
"You monster." She replied. He shrugged with a smile as George ordered his ice cream. Y/N decided to get chocolate chip. They all sat down at a booth, sharing each other's selections. Ringo had gotten some sort of orange sorbet and George had pure chocolate ice cream. 
"Are we going to discuss what you two were talking about?" Ringo said, suddenly to George's surprise. 
"Why do you need to know?" He questioned. 
"I need to know so you don't keep fighting with the others." Ringo muttered, taking a bite of Y/N's ice cream. He frowned at the taste as he went back to his own dessert. 
"I'm just letting those two rats have her." George hissed like a cat. Y/N rolled her eyes at his comment. 
"Once again I don't want to be 'haved' but I think you should all just see me like a friend. you shouldn't tear your band apart for me!" Y/N explained, hoping it would finally get through their thick skulls. George and Ringo exchanged a glance.
"If I back off then they'll just have--"
"Stop saying I'll be 'haved'! I've already talked to Paul and John about this! Just let it go! You'll all find someone who is better and prettier and smarter!" Y/N pushed her bowl away from her. Ringo looked startled by her out burst and George avoided her gaze. "I'm sorry...it's just complicated." They had no idea. They didn't know how badly she had already messed up their futures and now she had to fix it. She had to. They deserved better than what they got, but how could she fix something that felt so unfixable. 
"Y/N..." Ringo started, "Don't cut yourself short." 
"That's what you got from that? Didn't you hear me! I already discussed it with Paul and John!" She repeated. They weren't listening! It wasn't about her, it was about them! 
"Yes, I heard you, but what you said about yourself is concerning. We just want to make sure you are alright." Ringo reasoned, pushing her bowl back towards her. "You've always considered yourself lower than others. Like you were undeserving. Why?" 
"If I told you, you wouldn't believe me and I can't tell you anyway." She hissed, hoping he would back off. 
"Come on, Y/N! Just tell us what is bloody going on!" Ringo snapped. Y/N shut her mouth, crossing her arms. 
"I want you to be successful and I feel like I am limiting your potential." She half lied. Part of it was true to an extent. They couldn't know, it would mess everything up...like she had already done. 
"You aren't doing that at all. Most of the songs we've written have been derived from you." George smiled, meeting her gaze for the first time in a few minutes. Ringo nodded as they both pushed their own bowls to her. 
"I guess I just felt...like I was getting in the way." Y/N brushed a tear form her eyes. 
"I think part of that was our fault." George blushed. 
"I'm sure Paul and George would agree." Ringo added, looking at George. They nodded to each other. 
"This all helped me right a song actually." George remarked with a smile. 
"Really?" Y/N didn't know what song would go with this. 
"I call it, 'If I Needed Someone'." George said, pulling a guitar out from under the table. 
"How long has that been there?" Y/N gave him a worried expression. 
"Ringo placed it there while I was talking to you." George smirked. Ringo pretended to be looking at something outside. 
"You weasel." Y/N hissed as they laughed. George stood up and everyone looked at him. It seemed to be very common for them to break out into song as if they were in a musical. He began to strum and Ringo used the silverware to bang on the table. 
"If I needed someone to love. You're the one that I'd be thinking of. If I needed someone." George sang, walking around to the different tables. Ringo sang with him as he drummed along. It was far from good drumming since it wasn't a real drum set, but the Ringo charm was still there. She was not as familiar with this song, but she knew parts of it. 
"If I had some more time to spend. Then I guess I'd be with you my friend. If I needed someone." She sang to George's surprise. He smiled at her anyways as the song suddenly felt more like a duet. 
"Had you come some other day." George danced around the small parlor. 
"Then it might not have been like this." She continued. 
"But you see now I'm too much in love." George got close to her. 
"Carve your number on my wall. And maybe you will get a call from me. If I needed someone." They joined together as people around them started to join the dance. 
"Ah, ah, ah, ah." Y/N sang. It must not have been in George's original version. He smiled at its inclusion. 
"If I had some time to spend." He continued, circling her. 
"Then I guess I'd be with you my friend." She twirled in place, watching the kids and adults dance to the rhythm and cheer at them. 
"If I needed someone." Ringo burst from the booth to join the two. 
"Had you come some other day!" She sang to Ringo who danced with her. 
"Then it might not have been like this." He sang back to her. 
"But now you see I'm too much in love!" George jumped on one of the tables and belted out his lyrics. 
"Carve your number on my wall!" Everyone joined in. The kids and adults sand with joy at the performers who played it up. "And maybe you will get a call from me! If I needed someone!" 
"Ah, ah, ah, ah!" Y/N finished and the room was silent for a moment. Then everyone began to cheer and shake their hands. 
"I think we found a song for some album in the future George!" Ringo smiled. They all hugged each other and rejoiced at their sudden closeness. Maybe now things were beginning to be on track again.
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kimdokjasblog · 2 years
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@blackcat-midnight-thatsme we wanted to make a seperate post about this but I'm not on Tumblr much and don't know how to add the comment as well 😭
Our system is kind of like family really. I don't like to talk about my trauma online but basically shit happened when I was a kid and suddenly being my "true self" was a disgrace. Except they couldn't decide which self was supposed to be the not-disgrace so bam the ego broke
Back then I didn't realise I was being traumatised. Giving your kids near-death experiences as "character building" was normal where I came from. I remember being resilient, I didn't break easy. I was just confused and scared and wanted someone to help me face everything
Enter my counterpart, Dev. He was the complete opposite of me. I liked books, he hated them. I liked sweets, he loved spice. I used to put my head down and listen to what our mom said, no matter how insane it was and he was hell bent on standing up to her.
At first it was really weird because I felt I was being immature and borderline blasphemous forming imaginary friends at 12. Especially when my strongest imaginary friend happened to be someone who wanted to k*ll my family.
We've been there for each other for a VERY long time, more than a decade now. And to be honest it feels nice to have someone with you. It was almost exactly like Steven and Marc's relationship on the show except he wanted to fight back against our abusers and protect me
Honestly back then I had very few people who truly cared about me. I was suicidal and there's no psych wards where I live. If you suicide you don't even make it to the papers. But I knew that in all that misery I had someone with me, someone who would willingly front when I was being hurt, someone who would record what exactly happened while our mum gaslit us, someone who would patch us up after a really nasty day and someone who would stop me from unaliving and give me the protective comfort I never got.
I was important to him too (he's inputting this part). I was a safe place for him, someone to hang on to as we were put through hell, someone to be there for, someone who would laugh and be kind and be everything he was not. Someone who would dream of books and sweets as he faced the shit parts of life. Someone to take care of as no one took care of him
I think we started to get closer when we turned 17. It took a huge fight for us to realise that and we slowly started to understand just how attracted we were to each other. And by that I don't mean the "I want to f** you" kind of attraction.
It's more like saving chips for the other person because they like them better, leaving out the meat from a pizza for the other person to chew on, watching series twice because you both are hyped up for it and trying to isolate memories so that you don't accidentally spoil it for each other. Killing a cockroach because the other doesn't like them and talking to kids because the other freezes up.
Notable mention: giving a test once because I literally froze up and beating away the bad thoughts with an imaginary broomstick when we were so depressed we couldn't even eat
We do fight all the time though. He's yelling at me to sleep now because we have to wake up early tomorrow lol
We've confided in very few people about us. And although they do love us we understand them feeling strange about this. But we're really two halves of a whole, kinda like soulmates except the exact opposite of each other. It's difficult to explain and I don't expect to understand either! It's cool!
Its just that honestly we don't mind others opinions about us. We're helped each other survive the worst times of our live and we'll continue to be there for each other, and if someone's against it who cares! We've fought to be here!
Someone raised a question about codependency once. Yes we are dependent on each other but that's just how our system is like. I guess the brain realised our needs weren't being met outside so we have this ecosystem up there where everyone has their roles and we fill in each others needs. We do have great communication between us, being in the same body and all so we can easily talk to each other if we feel uncomfy. We also have two "parents" in the system who help us mediate conflicts.
It's a bit difficult to date when you're in the same body and we do feel the pain of not having someone to hold but our innerworld helps with some of that. And we do go on dates sometimes. Or we can just imagine a date in the innerworld lol
We do date other people tho, our only policy is that we both should fall for them or approve of them. We don't hide things from each other and yes we've had our share of embarassing crushes. We're currently in a relationship with this wonderful person who knows about us and understands our dynamic! I never believed it would happen but it did!
So yeah this is kinda how we came into a relationship. It's a mutual give and take and ultimately we're there for each other :)
I'm sorry if this went on for too long, I was just excited to talk about this! Before moonknight it was difficult to explain our dynamic to people but now I can somewhat be open about it! I can call him my boyfriend now :D
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Waiting For A Star To Fall
Nikolai x Selina
Word Count: 6k
Warnings: minor angst and fluff, oral sex (m/f receiving), brief thigh riding, penetration, use of sex toys, language gif by @vousnavezrienvu
A/N: Selina and Nikolai's first date turns into more than they ever imagined. 
This took a stupid amount of time to write and became a pure labor of love. Thank you @magic-multicolored-miracle and @neuroticpuppy for being with me the ENTIRE way.  And @bisexualnathanyoung and @forenschik for being my guinea pig
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September 1992
Selina’s phone rang, but Sunny beat her to it as he threw himself over the arm of the futon in her minuscule apartment.  His elbow rammed into the wall, and Selina insisted he deserved it.
“Hello?” 
There was a momentary pause.  Selina stood cross-armed with a frown on her face.
“I don't recall anyone with that name living here.  It's just my sister, myself, and the guy from the sixth floor who was murdered in 1985.” 
“SUNNY!!” 
He waved her off,  “Why would I be fucking with you?  You called here.  My sister didn't give you this number, she's a virtual nun!  She's not one to take up with strange foreign men.”
Selina launched herself at her little brother.  He held the cordless phone above his head and levitated the ten feet towards the ceiling.  His legs curled up underneath so she couldn't grab him by the ankle. 
“UNFAIR!!”  
“EVOLUTIONARY ADVANTAGE!” he shouted and stuck out his tongue.  “You were saying?”
“You aren't evolution!  You're a science experiment that was implanted in our mother by The Men In Black.”
“Low blow.” Sunny flipped Selina off and went back to the caller.  “I mean that may or may not be the woman you ravished lakeside.  I know my sister is her own woman.  You scandalized her though.  I think you made her feel.. feelings.  Rude.” 
“NICKLAUS ELTON KOSTAS GIVE ME MY PHONE!”
He held up his hand.  “HEY! I can speak Russian you know.”  And then Sunny did for the next several minutes occasionally glancing down at his sister.  
Finally, he came back to the couch and held out the receiver to Selina.  “It's for you.  He's very perturbed, and Slavic.  And sexy.”
She yanked the phone from her brother and flipped him off.  “Klaus should've left you in 1989.”  Her voice softened and her cheeks flushed as she finally answered, “Hi.” 
Sunny hovered a few feet off the ground as Selina blabbered on in flirtatious Russian.  He sneered and poked fun at the way his sister wound her finger up in her hair and then released it.  When that didn't work, craving her attention, he began to hold an imaginary conversation with an exaggerated Russian accent.  
Selina threw the first thing she could at her little brother.  The remote control sailed across the room at Sunny who simply held up his hand, palm towards his sister.  The remote hung in the air like he did.  Then he narrowed his eyes which caused the object to lower to the floor. Selina sighed and returned to the conversation. 
“Wait, you wanna take me out?”  A pause.  “You don't have to repay me.  I'm just practicing for when I'm ethically obligated to save someone.” Pause. “Arsonists and thieves too!”  Selina smiled wide as the flames licked her cheeks and ears now.  “How attractive you are doesn't alter Samaritan laws, Nikolai.” 
Sunny rolled his eyes flabbergasted at how his sister’s entire demeanor changed the moment she began to speak to the Russian from Sway Lake.  She was being coy.  Dare he say seductive as she ignored everything he managed to garner attention.  
Sunny had always been the object of his sister’s devotion.  EVERYONE’S devotion really.  As the youngest of eight “children,” it was his birthright.  Now here he was, slowly becoming Selina’s third favorite person.  Not a single soul, no matter how rakish or good in bed, would ever replace Leon. 
“Sure.  Yeah, I’d like that.”  Selina had a dopey grin on her face.  “Tonight?!  I mean can you even get reservations?”  “Trust you?  I don't know why I should, but I guess I will.  I'll meet you there. Do svidaniya, Nik.. KOLYA.”  
Selina hung up the phone and threw a pillow this time at Sunny.  He crashed to the floor having been caught off guard and rubbed his ass.  
“Just be HUMAN FOR FIVE MINUTES.” 
“I AM HUMAN!! I'M JUST.. Super.” 
“Super egotistical.”
“I can't help that the love of our parents turned me into a badass.” 
“I just pray Reginald never finds you.  You're the success to his failure with Klaus.”  Selina meant that last bit with her entire being.  “Now get out, I've a date tonight.” 
---
“Nikolai, I can't run that fast in these boots!”  Selina yelled as she desperately tried to catch up to her date.  She could hear a fast-approaching man behind her yelling obscenities in a dialect she wasn't familiar with.  Bulgarian or Lithuanian maybe. 
He stopped at the corner.  “We are wearing the same ones, look how fast I'm moving.  I think it must be the several rum and cokes you had.  Come,” Nikolai held out his hand, “we will go faster together.” 
Selina rolled her eyes but linked her hand with his.  Nikolai took off, and she started to laugh.  The exhilaration and adrenaline coursed through her veins.  Never in a million years would she have imagined dining and ditching.  
Nik was so calm as he spoke to the waiter in the dialect they were being bellowed at.  He never blinked.  Then the waiter nodded, took something from him and walked away.  Nikolai stood and clasped Selina’s hand and began to make his way towards the door. 
“Nikolai, shouldn't you pay?” 
There was a slight shake to his head.  He never looked back, just kept going with Selina tight to his side.  They made it to the door before they both had to give chase. 
Selina swung out into the street.  She waved and whistled loudly at an oncoming taxi.  To her shock, it stopped to pull over for them.  Nik was incredulous but had no choice except join his date as she yanked him inside the cab.  
“Bleecker and Christopher, please,” she instructed the taxi driver.  Selina turned to the Russian beside her,  “Are we going to break the law EVERY time we're together?”  
“Yes.  Like a new Bonnie and Clyde.”  Nikolai lifted the hand Selina hadn't realized he was still holding.  His lips brushed the back of it, “Without being shot to death by the FBI.” 
Selina's heart pounded in her ears.  She couldn't remember seeing anyone look attractive in the color orange.  Yet here was the man beside her, currently with a look she could only describe as voracious, pulling it off.  Her cheeks grew hot under the weight of his stare. 
“What?!” came out in an embarrassing giggle. 
“I cannot look at something beautiful?” 
“You don't have to lay it on THAT thick.  I'm taking you back to my apartment already.” 
“I'm not trying to trick you, Lina.  I think you are beautiful. I almost blew my own mission.  Especially under the moonlight.  You made me forget what I was doing.  Your willingness to allow me to do unspeakable things to your body helped,” he teased.  
Selina decided to play coy as the taxi stopped in front of her building.  “Let's see what happens under this month’s full moon.” 
---
Selina and Nikolai on the fire escape outside her living room window.  Selina a few beers in and a few steps above.  Nikolai nursing a beer of his own while settled between her knees.  His arm under her knee to snake around her calf.  His fingers mindlessly stroked her ankle to the naked foot dangling in his lap. 
They had fallen into a contented silence after nearly two hours of talking.  Sharing stories in Russian and English.  Nik’s curiosity about the photos and books and records she owned was endless.  Selina had a hard time keeping up and answering as he flitted along from keepsake to keepsake. 
Yes, that's Elton John.  Somehow he and her parents were old friends.  He dedicated “Your Song” to her parents every concert they went to.  Selina could never figure out why. 
The somehow dower, yet smiling man, with a giant cigar in his mouth that tossed Selina in the air while little Sunny hung from his back was her Godfather, Tom.  He had been a CIA agent that now lived in a cabin with his beautiful French wife, Ella.  That's where she had been  staying up at Sway Lake.  Yes he did always look like a lion with a thorn in his paw, but he was soft and kind and loving.  
The Lady Godiva on the horse was her mother, Honey, back when she frequented Studio 54.  Selina recalled her hair rivaled only Cher’s at that stage.  Raven colored and long enough to hide her naked body (barely) as she sat side saddle on the white mare.  Her head resting against the back of an equally nude man. Her one arm wrapped around his thin waist. 
Nope, Nik was totally not imagining things.  The man holding the reins did strongly resemble her brother and himself.  That was HER papa, Leon. His hair in perfectly wild curls to his shoulders. His face full of confidence and sex. 
The questions began to wear Selina down.  No one had ever been this inquisitive or interested in her life.  Her family.  Her.  The endless questions, punctuated by making out until their lips chapped, about her personally.  Then, between an anecdote about Luther and rollerskating and tongues fighting for dominance they stopped.  
Now Nikolai lifted Selina’s foot and kissed the top of it.  Then his mouth made its way up her shin.  When he reached her knee, Nik turned abruptly to face the woman behind him.  He set the bottle down on the windowsill before kneeling on the stairs.  He slid the hem of her dress up, fingers hooked into the fabric of her panties to tug them off.  He kissed her inner thigh before letting his tongue trace painfully slow along her sex. 
Selina could only grasp the railing.  Her fingers curved around the cold metal and she cried out in pleasure as Nikolai slipped his tongue inside of her.  
It slid in and out before eventually discovering her clit.  His hands on her ass so that he could pull her onto his face.  Encourage her to ride him as his tongue flicked in circles and then snaked in and out. 
Selina started to lose herself.  Her free hand tugged at Nik’s hair while her hips bucked and the spark grew.  She twitched and cried out louder as his mouth and tongue worked faster.  She opened her eyes to look down at the man keen to make her cum. 
Almost as if he could feel her eyes on him, Nikolai looked up at Selina.  She felt strange, shameless and used her own thumb to wipe away what was on his lips.  She sucked on it briefly then grabbed Nik by the shirt towards her.  Wanting for a kiss.  
Selina revelled in the way she tasted on his lips and inside her own mouth.  Like beer and bitterness.  She had never done that before Nikolai and the lake.  She wanted to do it again, and every time he went down on her.  She wanted to put him in her mouth.  To suck and lick and make him bend and writhe.  
She could, she thought, now.  Selina pushed Nik away at arms length meaning to have him sit on the stairs so she could give him head.  Her fingers deft at the belt buckle and buttons on his pants. She laughed full of nerves as he fumbled, THE OVERCONFIDENT RUSSIAN FUMBLED!! 
Nikolai fumbled with the buttons on his dress shirt before he finally came loose.  He yanked his pants and boxers over his hips and held his cock in his hand. Nik parted her legs and started to push inside, but Selina held up her hands.
“What are you doing?”
“Do you not want me to have sex with you?”  He was more shocked than angry. 
Selina ran her hands over his chest and stomach then up around his neck.  “I very much want to fuck you.” Nikolai huffed, but Selina continued, “I mean I've seen you naked and can't get over how fucking sexy you are.”  
“Then what is wrong?  Not here?  Maybe this is not comfortable for you.  We’ll go inside.”  He stood and held out his hand.
“It's probably the same as fucking on a bunch of sticks and acorns.”
Nikolai sniffed again at the use of the word “fucking.”  “Then what is wrong?”
Selina stood and climbed in through the windows.  Her date followed.  “There's an international health crisis.   A incurable disease that passes mostly via sex and fluids?” she shouted from her room as she rummaged through drawers. 
“Do you mean The..AIDS?  Is that not for,” he chose his words carefully, “The gay men?” 
Selina could tell Nik was more confused than anything.  She heard this all the time at the clinic where she volunteered. “Or you could be bisexual or pansexual like my brothers.  Contract it from a man and pass it to a female partner.”  
She appeared in the living room now with a small foil package.  “Or an IV drug user, also like my brother, and get it that way.” 
Selina started to unwrap the condom without noticing that Nikolai was standing completely nude in her living room.  “This is usually where most guys bail.  They're not interested in protection or rubbers.  Mostly just a pump and..” she looked up and paused in her tracks. She was distracted by his body and neck and eyes and jawline.  “Christ on a cracker.”
“What?”  he chuckled.  
“Sorry! I know. I know.  AIDS talk is a bummer.  I get this close to just.. sitting on a dick and I panic?  Everyone in my family got the sexual confidence memo but me.” 
“Why are you panicking now?  You did not freak out by Sway Lake.”  
Nikolai couldn't help the teasing in his voice.  He reached out for Selina to draw her close to his body.  His knee inside of her thighs just like that night.  
Now he unzipped and helped her out of the dress.  “I think it's very sexy when you talk like a nurse. So smart and commanding.”  His hands ran over her bare back and down to her ass as he brushed his nose along her neck up to her ear.  He nipped at the lobe, “That can be very erotic putting a condom on.” 
“Nik,” Selina could only squeak out.  Her body involuntarily started to rock back and forth. 
“It's Kolya.  In Russian we use end of names,” he breathed in her ear.  “Like your sister, Vanya.   Little Ivan.”
“Ok,” Selina didn't want to hear about Vanya right now.  Or Klaus.  Or Diego.  Instead she got down on her knees.  The condom was still in her hand as she used the other to hold his erection towards her mouth.
“Lina, what are you doing?”  
She looked up through her bangs, her tongue darted out to trace around the head of the cock.  “Sucking your dick.  What else does it look like?”  She took it fully in her mouth, letting the tip hit the back of her throat.  
“Fuck,” he mumbled in Russian.  “Dorogoya, stop.”  
Selina sat back with a popping sound, “Did I do it wrong?  I'm like, the LEAST experienced person in this family.”
“You don't have to be an expert.  A blow job is a blow job, we can practice another time.  I want to be inside of you.  And I have been very patient.”
Selina stood, but Nikolai lifted her completely off the ground.  She wrapped her arms and legs around him as they stumbled towards the futon.  Mouths and tongues at war as Nik sat her down on the cushions.  Selina held eye contact as she expertly unrolled the condom down the length of his cock.  She kissed his stomach as he noticeably shuddered.  
Nikolai let his fingers caress Selina’s bottom lip before crawling on top of her.  She still held his erection in her hand as he threw one of her legs over his shoulder.  He held her bent knee to the side as she taunted him with her sex.  Guiding it just inside before digging her nails into his ass so that he buried himself to the hilt. 
Selina clawed at his back as Nik started to undulate.  Over and over, further inside each time.  Their bodies rocked wildly as Selina’s muscles started to shake from the position she was in.  She clung to him desperately as he searched for her neck and chest with his lips.  
Nikolai’s mouth devoured one of her breasts.  He sucked and bit at Selina’s nipple.  She cried out in shock at the sensation.  The sound egged him on to go harder.  
“So you like that too?” His voice raspy in her cleavage. His suckling and biting increased.  She mewled in reply. 
Selina was worried that it wasn't working.  That she couldn't or wouldn't orgasm.  Not like she did when he went down on her.  How she hung from the cliff.  
She WAS being pleasured.  Nikolai was hitting the right spots, but she was so nervous about what she looked like under the lamplight.  His rhythm and pounding, it was pounding, into her was unmatched.  She cried out with exaggeration to indicate she had cum hoping he wouldn't notice. 
“Fuck!” he cried out and propped himself up by the back of the futon.  
Nik’s body arched while his hips made circular motion.  He spasmed and shuddered as his body immediately went into shut down mode.  His face covered in a sheen of sweat as he pressed his forehead into Selina’s neck then pecked it a few times. 
“I.. am sorry, Lina.” There was disappointment in the Russian’s voice as he held the condom so he could pull out.
“For what?”   Her arms and legs still enclosed around his back and hips.  
“You did not.. cum,” Nik’s eyes searched the woman below him.  “I should have tried better.  I just was so turned on by you.”  He swept the damp hair away from her forehead. 
“You were fine!  It was good.  Really good.  I got in my own head is all.  Maybe next time?” 
“You mean later tonight,” he winked then pecked the tip of her nose. “I won't leave until you are honestly screaming my name.”  There were four dimples Selina counted in his smile.  
“Then we’ll sleep on it first.” 
---- 
Selina tip toed out to the kitchen both starved and thirsty.  She thought about Nikolai's playful threat about not leaving until she got off and chuckled to herself.  Then she peered around the wall to see him asleep on the futon.  His mouth slightly agape and one hand under his cheek. 
Would it be so bad with him around all the time? She thought as she cracked open a beer.  To not be alone when she came home from a shift?  How nice it would be to have conversations with someone not “related” in some form or another. 
And Nikolai was interested in Selina.  He still dodged questions about himself, answering straightforwardly with no details.  She knew it was because he didn't trust her just yet.  It wasn't like she didn't have secrets of her own, but the more open she COULD be, the more she knew Nik would reciprocate.  It had to be lonely with only one confidante. 
Selina turned around and jumped a mile in the air.  “Motherfucker!”
Nikolai was casually leaning against the doorway watching her contemplate life and drinking a beer.  “She IS very sexy,” he replied with a cheeky grin. 
Selina rolled her eyes and walked towards her kitchen table to keep distance between herself and the Russian.  As if she were daring him to chase her.  Nik made her feel so contradictory.  In control and submissive.  Safe yet dangerous.  Lustful.  
There was no opposite to that, she realized.  The light from her small kitchen window illuminated the lines and definition of his chest and shoulders.  The collarbone that met in the middle and moved up into his thick neck with its Adam's Apple bobbing along as he swallowed.  A sharp intake of breath before he clenched his jaw.  
Selina’s heart pumped into her ears as he casually reached across the table for her, but she ducked out of the way.  His eyebrows knit together in confusion as they danced around for only a few moments until she allowed him to grab her by the elbow.  Her world stood still as he took her in his arms, back to his chest. 
“I have been thinking, rypka, about our little challenge,” Nikolai settled one hand on her breast which he massaged lightly paying close attention to her nipple.  His mouth somewhere behind her ear as his other hand dropped to her sex. 
A finger found its way inside of Selina and she lost the air in her lungs.  It curved and hooked before making a lazy swirl around her clit.  “Already?” was all she managed.  Her nails closed around his wrist and urged him on. 
“I would like to try a different way of having sex with you.  I just don't want you to be offended.”  
Nik let go of Selina and placed her arms on the tabletop.  He spread her hands out; bent her forward so that her top half was pressed into the wood surface.  Then he grabbed her hips so that her ass was flush with his hardened cock.
“No anal,” she moaned.  “Wear a condom,” another instruction. “Bathroom shelf.” She grazed against him. 
“If you insist,” Nikolai replied in Russian. “I will obey.”  
There was a playful slap on Selina’s ass, and she felt herself swell and throb.  A first time for everything. If she enjoyed it, wet from the sting of being struck, it was.. genetic.  
Her brothers, father, even Honey mentioned the occasional pain got them going.  Klaus and Sunny with varying degrees of punishment.  She knew from eavesdropping or snooping that her parents preferred it light: spanking or hair pulling.  Maybe she did as well.  Too vanilla to ask.  Inexperienced to what she wanted from a partner. 
“Do it again?” Selina tried not to sound desperate as Nikolai tore into the condom wrapper.  She almost presented herself to him as she felt the smooth surface on her cheek.
“What?” he was distracted.  There was a strange snap of latex as he adjusted it.  Then taunted Selina with the head of his cock.  He rubbed it along her slit, marveling at how easy it was to slide in. 
“Hitting me?” she asked timidly. 
“Why would I hit you?” Nikolai was offended.  His hand flat on Selina's back as it traveled to her neck and hair.  His fingers combed and intertwined with her dark waves then lightly tugged. 
Selina braced herself as he lost himself up to the hilt.  Nikolai's pelvis met her ass and pulled out to just the tip.  He repeated this until he gained friction.  Her head and hips were his anchor so he could thrust quicker. Their bodies make a clapping noise. 
“My ass.  Like you did.  Hit it.”  She was willing to try anything.  Wanted to cum for him.  She knew she could, she did it alone all the time.
“Really?” Nik was surprised.  His pace was even faster and the table started to creak under the motion.  “Did you like it then?” His hand cracked her flesh but only slightly harder than before.  
Selina cried out.  Her sex ached and was swollen.  Nikolai did it one more time, but she could tell it wasn't really his thing.  Sensed that it bothered him to be serious about erotic corporal punishment.  Playing was different.  His hand did tighten in her hair to bend her head back. 
“I don't know,” was all he mumbled in Russian.  
The hand that spanked Selina now encompassed her own on the table.  He bent to kiss her shoulder as he found his breakneck rhythm. 
“Then just go harder,” Selina found her voice now.  She relaxed and allowed her body to take how deeply he penetrated her.  His cock at that angle hitting a spot she found mythical. 
Nikolai railed into Selina.  The table and their bodies shook almost violently as he pounded into her.  His shaft lost until she felt a pressure in her womb.  He stood straight and clutched at the thick of her hips.  Her curves she inherited from her mother.  They cushioned her as his body and cock pleased her.  That spark and wave rolled over Selina like on the couch.  
They weren't quiet.  Both forgetting about neighbors as Selina mewled and screamed out. Nikolai growled and uttered obscenities in his first language.  They were certain this would be it, that Selina would orgasm and Nik would feel satisfied that he could please her.  
Instead, his body violently shuddered as he exploded inside the condom.  His muscles and adrenaline gave way to Nik almost collapsing on top of Selina.  He faltered prior to catching her up in his arms again.  He held her and whispered apologies to her as they kissed. 
“Kolya,” she whispered back.  “It's fine.  I was really close.  We have other times to  experiment.”  Selina swept his damp curls back. 
Nikolai leaned into her hand, “You want to keep being with me?” 
“That's what dating is,” she laughed under her breath. “I like being with you.  I wanna know more about YOU though.  Come on,” Selina took his hand.  “Let's actually go to bed and talk.”
---
Selina reached blindly for Nikolai after her alarm went off.  Sitting up, she slammed the clock and turned to see an empty space on the side of the bed he had fallen asleep on. 
She knew he wasn't obligated to be there when she woke up.  This time waking up alone left a weird knot in her stomach.  
“Fuck,” she tossed herself back and threw a pillow over her head to scream.  Her arms and legs failed around like a toddler throwing a fit. 
How long was enough before she called him?  Would he just disappear now? Klaus called it, funnily enough, ghosting.  Why did everything Nik say tread a weird line between romantic and calculating?  And why did Selina want him to keep saying things, anything at all, to her? 
How does someone know they're falling in love? How did Honey and Leon?  Klaus and Dave.  Allison and Ray.  Diego and Patch or Lila.  Vanya and Sissy.  Uncle Tom and Aunt Ella.  Poor Luther.
Selina’s family had a knack for impulsive behavior when it came to attraction.  Her mom moved to a foreign country with a man she had slept with for money.  Klaus fought in Vietnam for a closeted man that kissed him once. Sunny went home with, to Selina’s chagrin, anyone who showered him with the simplest of affection. And Selina had laid down and spread her legs for a Russian committing arson.  
“Lina you are awake?” Nikolai asked from the other room. 
She threw a bathrobe on and wandered into the kitchen.  “You came back.”
Nik was reaching above her tiny sink for coffee mugs and plates.  “Did you not want me to?”
He set the dishes out and opened a box to pull out some pastries and bagels.  Then poured coffee and handed Selina the cup. 
“I wasn’t sure what you liked,” he offered her the plate.  “Greek, Italian and Russian,” a satisfied grin flashed across his face.
“Well that was kind of you,” she smiled back and helped herself to a cannoli and Russian tea cookie.  “Yes, I wanted you to come back. I think I kinda always do?” she questioned her own intentions with a mouthful of pastry. 
Nik leaned over and kissed Selina.  His tongue darted out to taste the sweet ricotta filling on her lips; she reciprocated.  Her own slipping to the back of his mouth to catch him off guard. Nik steadied himself on her hips. 
There was a muddled sound of pleasure when Selina’s fingers unbuttoned Nikolai’s shirt in expert time.  Their mouths never separated as she went to work on his belt and pants as he struggled to take his boots off. 
“This was not my plan for this morning,” Nik breathed heavily in Russian. 
“I'm just really interested in us reaching that goal,” Selina helped him out of his clothes.  
Kissing again, they could feel their lips start to chap already as Selina began backing Nik into her room until he hit the foot of her bed.  As he leaned back, she climbed on his lap.  Her hands seized his cock and settled it in the folds of her sex.  Selina rolled her hips.
“What are you doing!?” Nikolai could only cry out. Astonished by the lack of a condom.  
“I'm sick of being the safe one,” she raised up on her knees so that she was above him.  Her hands on his face and neck as she snaked her tongue to the back of his teeth again.  
Selina shoved him back on the bed and threw off her robe.  She straddled Nikolai like a woman possessed, took his hands and placed them on her breasts as she rode him.  Still not penetrated.
Nik lost himself for a moment.  He massaged the breasts.  One hand teased a nipple, pinched it,  before sitting up to devour it.  Selina held him to her chest, clung to the hair on the back of his head and pulled in her excitement.  Her fingers found the gnarly scar and she rocked harder on his lap. 
“I want you to fuck me until I cum.” 
Nikolai looked up and held her back, “It is not fucking at this point.  Not for me, Lina.  Also you must not compromise your principles for anyone.  I do not want this for you.”  
Selina groaned with exasperation.  Her walls were swollen and slick and wanting.  “It's not a compromise, Nik.  Everyone jumps in my family and trusts they’ll fly while I stand on the cliff pacing back and forth.” 
He blinked, mouth just slightly agape.  That face.  Selina knew that face.  She loved that face.  She loved this face. “Lina, you are extraordinary.  You don't need to have a big life just yet.  It will happen.” 
“Kolya,” her words softer now as she relaxed, “I love you.”
“Do you?!” a dopey grin spread across Nikolai's face.  “It is the same for me I think?  I've never done this, you know.  “That I love you.”  
He kissed Selina before turning under her to rummage around the nightstand drawer. “Now we will go back to the way you prefer?  If I need to I will get..” he stopped and held something aloft.  Now his smile and dimples were devilish. 
He studied it before making it buzz with a push of a button.  “Pocket Rocket?! Lina, are you secretly naughty?" he giggled. 
"I don't think it's a secret to you anymore,” she reached for it.  Her cheeks turned red. 
"Who do you fantasize about when you use it?" Nikolai held it to Selina’s breasts.  He watched with fascination as her nipples hardened.  He let it travel over her stomach and back up. 
Selina moaned and twisted. "You're just trying to get me to say you, but I've had it since I turned twenty.  So mostly you know.. Keanu Reeves..”  
“But not me?" his eyebrow cocked.  Nikolai traced the vibrator along her hips and over her pelvic bone.  
"Once in a while,” her words came out breathless.
"As a Russian, I'm already superior at using it because rocket?” he waggled his brows now.  “We can now?  With you on top?”
The toy found her slit and slid inside easily.  It buzzed and made the air rush out of Selina’s lungs.  She dug her nails into Nikolai's chest while he started to use the vibrator to have sex with her.  Found a pattern of in and out while she bucked and writhed.  
Selina reached back to anchor herself on one of Nik’s thighs. It allowed him better access to her clit.  He Marveled at the way she agonized under his hand as it manipulated her.  His free hand on her ass to coax her faster as SHE undulated now as he had done on the couch.  Her hips danced separately from her upper half.
Nikolai rolled Selina on her back all of a sudden.  Her hair hung off the bed as he propped up on an elbow.  He worked the vibrator in circles.  In and out of her slick walls before going after the clit.  
Selina got tangled up in the sheets as she felt a warmth spread from her stomach to her sex.  Her thighs started to tighten around Nik's hand as she thrust her hips off the bed.  Eyes clamped shut as the first wave washed over her body.  Neck exposed for him to suck and bite which urged another orgasm to burn through her.  
Nikolai was stunned by her silence.  Selina’s mouth opened in a silent cry as she came a third time in succession.  This last time she managed a strangled scream of his name which he swallowed with a kiss.  
A shiver ran through Selina while she relaxed.  Her fingers traced patterns along Nikolai's bicep as her eyes closed.  Cumming was like a sedative.  Nikolai cupping her face and drawing it to his for a lazy kiss was a sedative.  The rain she had no idea was pouring in buckets outside her window was also a sedative.  
The vibrator continued buzzing until it didn't.  The room grew quiet save for the breaths that came from Nik’s nose.  Still heavy with his still hardened bulge pressed into Selina’s hip.  There was no move to get on top of her.  To have sex with her so he, too, could cum.  She started to idly jerk him off. 
“Lina stop,” he gently took her hand.  “This was about you, not me.  It'll go away eventually.  Like I will,” he said that last bit with a challenge in his voice.  
Selina curled on her side towards Nikolai.  “Or maybe don't go?” 
“Ty khochesh', chtoby ya ostalsya?” You want me to stay?
“Po krayney mere, yeshche odno polnoluniye.”
At least one more full moon.
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writterings · 4 years
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hey, just so ur reply to the ghost question and...
would u mind sharing some of ur paranormal experiences?? i'm a sucker for those even tho i myself don't really believe in them.
it's okay if u dont wanna share, i'm just curious!
have a great week :)
yeah totally
here are my top paranormal experiences:
when i was like 3, the house down the street from me burned down and unfortunately, two little kids around my age died in it. i didn’t know anyone in my town since my parents sent me to private school and everyone else went to public school, so i didn’t know these kids at all. however, like a few days after this happened, my mom found me in the “scary room” of my house (aka the guest bedroom i never go in because of the bad vibes) and i was playing with some “imaginary friends” who just happened to have the same exact names as the kids who died in the fire. it made my mom cry and she told me to tell them to “go home” so i did and i never saw them again. 
i remember arguing with my grandfather around 6 years old because he kept calling me a “goo-goo” which is what he always called little kids. i remember being so MAD and getting upset that my parents never stood up for me. well, turns out, he died when i was 3 and i had no clue i was arguing with a dead guy.
this one might sound a bit more “out there” but my house is pre-civil war and right next to a river. the house across the street from me was a stagecoach stop and there’s also railroad stop down the street from me. all of this has been here since like the 1800s. there’s also been records that some people escaping on the underground railroad passed through the town, since it was big on travel and because we’re in the north somewhat close to NYC. i remember being a little kid (like 4?) and this guy around 14 years old walked up to my porch and asked if my mom could spare any food. i remember he was dressed “weird” but i don’t exactly recall any specific clothing items. he happened to be black, and i could see people i assumed were his family standing in the woods outside my house, waiting for him. i told him, sure! and then when i went to get my mom she kept telling me she didn’t see anyone and was getting really concerned. the guy then said my mom had spat on him and called him a “nasty name” and i started yelling at my mom. she was SUPER confused and he started getting concerned too and told me not to get mad at her, and that he had accidentally thought she was someone else and could see we weren’t the people he had “originally spoken to”. he then walked away and i never saw him again. 
my cousin got involved with some really toxic people, who happened to practice a form of witchcraft - specifically the summoning of spirits and using ouiji boards and all that. i was hanging with my cousin once when we were both 13 and she told me she was “dating” one of these spirits her friends summoned for her. i asked to meet him and damn....i’m not usually afraid of spirits or whatever, but i was scared of this thing. i couldn’t actually see it, but when i closed my eyes, i had a picture in my mind. when i told my cousin what i “saw” she said “yeah! that’s what he looks like”. whatever that thing was, however, it later ended up hitting her and scratching her and giving her nightmares, among other things. i don’t know HOW she got rid of it and she refuses to talk about it with me now. 
this one was just last year - i was friends with some people who happened to practice santeria culturally and the one guy was actually training with an elder in the religion to “strengthen” his powers (also just a sidenote - i am white and don’t know the ins and outs of santeria since it’s a closed practice, apologies if i phrased anything wrong). i was going through a really rough time mentally so he gave me a reading. he was able to talk to my grandmother, who had passed a few years ago. and when i say “talked” i mean he really TALKED....like i was just getting to know this guy, we were aquiantances at best, but he was telling me DEEP personal shit. like, he even said my deadname at one point as in like “your grandmother is telling me your name used to be ___? interesting” - and he didn’t even know i was trans. like, he really told me a LOT and i was able to talk directly to my grandmother through him. it was WILD
and now i have more experiences but i think that’ll be it for now!
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