// just a rant in the tags please ignore lol

autistic things i do that i'm not sure other people do:

laugh at inappropriate moments (occasionally when people are sneezing/coughing in a way that sounds 'amusing' i will not be able to control the urge to laugh. so many times i've been at the dinner table with my parents and my mum's been almost choking on something and i've been tears down my eyes laughing and apologising and I HATE IT but i'm so glad that the joker movie addressed this because i feel like i'm not the only one that has this)

being Very Uncomfortable being around others with disabilities. i understand this makes me sound horrible but i get very bad anxiety about being around others with behavioral disabilities. i know that some people with autism like being around other people with autism/disabilities but i'm obviously not one of those people. it might also have something to do with me being an introvert and being happy if i'm not being bothered. i also get very upset/anxious about unexpected loud noises, or people making unexpected loud noises, which goes onto my next point.

i don't like children. i think this stems from when i was younger and i was tall and fat and kids would look up at me with wide eyes and i always thought they were looking at me like i was some sort of scary large person which is stupid but i still kind of see them looking at me now like that when i'm taller and still fat. i don't like it when kids are crying and being little shits and screaming and making noise. i obviously could never have been a mother because i don't have the patience and empathy needed for it

i get really nervous about checking text messages when they're very important to the point where i open the phone it's like opening a book very slowly (i have one of those phone cases where it's like a wallet and you open it).

i don't like maintaining eye contact (i know this is a common autistic thing but i thought i'd mention it anyway)

i'm also not like 'rain man' in the autistic sense, like i'm not a genius at one thing or another, i have REALLY terrible long term memory which is probably due as well to the severe depression i've had for most of my life.

there are probably a lot of other things i do but i just can't remember them at the moment. i like that i'm able to share this on here because tumblr is very judgement free (unless you disagree on fandom things or share problematic views which i don't think i've done here)