.

i'm very protective of what's left of me, my pride is all that's ever really been mine, it's more difficult to swallow than a pill without anything to drink. not understanding what someone is doing or why they're doing it does not constitute for calling them crazy. i've been saying all the right things to all the wrong people. you’ve fallen victim to the mandela effect, creating false prophecies according to false memories. stuck in a loop hole that you created on your own. you say certain things with an accent to make them sound less serious. stuck on so many what ifs. you're watching the same thing and reading the same page, over and over, but processing none of it. you replace the air in your surroundings with smoke from your cigarette while you itch holes through your skin hoping that you won't bleed. you hate double standards and you just so happen to be one yourself. You love dry blood and picking at scabs, whether it's yours or even somebody else's. most people get scars when they do that but your skin doesn't scar the way others do. maybe that's why you don't quite understand the concept of the action, that picking scabs, hurts. hurting me so i'll cry for you simply isn't enough, you waited to see how long i could cry before my voice gave out and now it has. “what’re you doing walking around the neighborhood you grew up in looking like you’re lost ?” i’m renting a house where someone hung themselves in the backyard before I moved in. everything’s unpacked but i still feel like I’m forgetting something. I took down the welcome sign and we don’t keep a spare. no matter how times i clean, it stays cluttered. everything is an organized mess. there's bird bones in the bird feeder. we trimmed the limbs off the tree but not short enough, people can still climb up it and onto the roof. It’s all fun and games until someone busts their head open. you’re the type of person that can make a game out of anything so i will make a game out of everything. I will throw rocks in your direction but never actually hit you and you’ll tell me that I have bad aim even though you know that I’m avoiding you on purpose. i break everything i touch trying to put myself back together. i’m bad at fixing things that I broke on my own but good at fixing things I have only the slightest clue of, I wish things were slightly different. if i give you three guesses, the first two don’t count. i’ll knock over everything, as long as it’s not the salt, i’ll throw it all out of the second story window without a second thought about it. you knew what you were doing when you dropped the only set of keys down the sewer drain and claimed it was an accident and you knew what you were doing when you told me you’d never leave but I didn’t know what I was doing when I promised to do the same. all of the beds in the house are made and everyone is gone. you wanted this to happen, you may have planned it impulsively, you have planned it accordingly but regardless, you have planned it well. you dug me up from six feet under just to bury me deeper. i would rather go skinny dipping in a pool filled with cyanide. i know not trust a box in the middle of the road. There might be nothing in the box, you might drive right over it and everything be just fine, but there could also be something in that box that could flip your car and your life. You subconsciously drive to my house often, still considering it home. You learned how to drive on the highway. you knew I was cold and still rolled your window down in the car while driving in negative degree weather. you'll do anything except be friends with someone. “patience is a virtue” “actions speak louder than words” I’ve said it all more times than I can count. meanings. are.  lost. put rocks in your pockets when you step on a scale and then cry over four day old pizza. starve yourself cold, starve yourself dead & still have the nerve to wonder where hot flashes in the dead of December come from. all of the food is expired, it’s only there for decoration. you spent the last of your paycheck on red wine and spilled it on your white dress. the only thing in your mouth is blood, you don’t even have your teeth. there’s a theory stating that deaths tend to occur in threes and sometimes i wonder what number you’ll be. don’t rub me the wrong way, don’t threaten me with a good time. i wish i could hate you without hesitation, i wish i could hate you and mean it. if you’re astonished now, don’t hold your breath. I’ve cheated death at the cost of everyone i know. I grew tired of sleeping with the devil and moved on to the next best thing. I wrote my first obituary when I was twelve as a court appointed punishment, the obituary was in honor of my mother as if I would have been her cause of death. she ripped her heart out when i was born but according to her there was no better option at the time. I’ve been pre writing eulogies in honor of everyone I know as a hobby ever since. everyone looks in my eyes like they’re infinitely distant. when they said “what you don’t know won’t kill you”, they lied. hold onto the thought before it disappears like i did. sometimes my head is so loud that i don’t hear other things right away but i promise that i’m listening and that i’ll remember what was said. sometimes i think so much, so fast that when i close my eyes i forget how to breathe. most of the time when i speak on anything, i feel like I’ve said too much. just because you have the ability to do something doesn’t mean you should. null and void. i’m thinking so much that i can’t think at all and i have so much to say that i can’t speak no matter how hard i try. everyone’s trying to talk over each other, I’m trying to hear it all and also be heard. i’m sorry for yelling. What I have to say, isn’t much but it might be worth something. Most of the things i say sound a whole lot better on paper but most people look better in person and so do most of the things i paint. i’ve dreamt of every metaphor i’ve ever said coming out of the mouths of everyone deceased that i’ve ever known. a small sum of words, a small sum of numbers, we’re two halves of a whole that don’t get along. we’re never enough for each other but even if i never speak again, you’ll always have something to say. roses are red and white and the only reason i keep agreeing. you are a hex breaking specialist, a secret message written in a foreign language and tucked in a glass bottle. i ask you questions like you’re a search engine for everything i don’t have an answer for, most of the time when i misplace something, your the one to find it but sometimes you don’t have the answers either and that’s okay. When you write, your thumb is the only thing that moves. The sky is extra big today and I can feel you breathing on my fingers. i’m in love with a girl who stayed in the corner, hours after a ten minute time out. I've never liked a goodie two shoes. you can’t really figure her to do anything and I suggest you not try to. patient with homicidal tendencies. sociopathic, narcissistic tendencies accompanied by bland, stale emotions but also a big heart and a hyperactive imagination. demanding but sweet, you get what you want. you hold me like a piece of paper, gentle enough that i don't rip but also tight enough that you don't loose your grip. if i happen to move in the middle of the night, my spot is always warm when i come back like you’ve been saving it for me your whole life, you probably have been. i get goosebumps every time you get out of bed to leave in the morning. It only takes three turns in the same direction to be on your way home. there’s no place like home because i’ve never had one. you can’t belong to someone when you belong to everyone. betrayal is unforgivable but to some people that’s just an opinion. are you sure you don't want to casually wear anything of hers around the house anymore? even if it's just you and no one is around to know? I’ll cook you a five star meal without preheating the oven but don’t count on me to turn the oven off. I’ll come back for you every time and that’s what it takes but you’ve never been patient even though you’ve been one for quite some time. they took you away and when you came back, it wasn’t to me. i always knew it would end that way. you have a lot of nerve showing your face around here, you have a lot of nerve speaking my name. “gimme a second” turns into a minute which turns into hours & before you know it, days, weeks, years went by and i forgot that you exist. i kept telling you that you needed to eat or you were going to disappear but in reality i just didn't want you to disappear without me. act oblivious, you’ve done this before. you and your typical, cliché black fedora. me and my less than interested, vague expressions. you put personification behind the definition of the word "tapeworm". the voices in my head are everything you said late at night, alone in your room when you thought no one could hear you. you always know what to say and when to say it, you always know what to do and what not to. The ones who can refrain from telling the truth while also refraining from lying are the ones you really gotta watch out for. it may not be a wise to fall asleep with me if you’ve got a deadline to meet. i won’t wake you up, i won’t disturb a peace of mind like that, a piece of mind like yours. ashes to ashes, dust to dust if you die first i hope you’ll still sleep with me. you have an abundance of king sized blankets for your twin size bed. the more room that’s taken up, the closer we have to sleep to each other. you warmed my heart along with my skin, i thought i would be cold forever. so many things get lost in the crack between the bed and the wall that it becomes an accidental time capsule. whether or not each thing is worth finding is debatable. I know it’s been awhile since we last spoke and I’m not sure whether what I did was done on purpose or by accident but either way, i want to apologize. When I was young I told my mom that I love her but mom says “love is a bad word", so instead of saying it back, she put soap in my mouth and scrubbed as hard as she could. your hurt makes you love and sometimes your love makes you hurt, but don’t get lost in that. my way of showing it may be a bit construed to say the least, but i couldn’t stop loving you under any circumstance. we learned from the best of the worst. i keep people far enough away so that i can run at any given moment but i can only inch towards you, i want to hear your heartbeat forever. i have dreams of keeping you safe from things the same nights you have dreams of being chased down, we share an undeniable correlation. You weren't even here when i went missing but you claimed me at pickup in the lost and found anyways. the feeling of being with you relates to stepping outside of a dark movie theater to perfect weather and a cotton candy sky. you pick up on my ticks and habits better than i do. you are my sunshine, you make me happy no matter what color the sky is. you’re always a puppet, i always do nothing, the last drink is always mine and that’s the way you like it. everything about you tells a story and you're great with words. you put spaces between the letters in your words as if the letters themselves are words as well. the in between, you're ambidextrous and great at things that don't make sense to other people. we live in an age where everything is a metaphor and you so happen to be the one that i relate to the most. you observe and take notes as well as you write and i want to spend the rest of forever reading you and your everything. bind me better than your newest book. i think of you between words i haven't even written yet. i have a feeling that once i start, i wont stop and i'm okay with that. you’re the kind of pretty people get whiplash over, the kind of pretty people break their necks to get a second look at. for the first time in a long time, pretty makes nice. nothing i see or feel is ever completely genuine, except for you. you are the only thing i don't find artificial at all. don’t ever assume you know who I’m referring to or what I’m speaking on. i came across every possible wrong answer only to find out the right one had been sitting right in front of my face.

When i get too excited writing a youtube comment on a Disbelief OST compilation and end up with this...

I like how LONG this is. Like, i imagine if you did have a megalovania-style encounter with Papyrus it would just keep going and going and going for like three hour's worth of unique gameplay and Papyrus would just keep on fighting and laugh at you. I mean, with all his phone calls, OF COURSE he'd have the most unique fight dialogue to use on us too, right? 

 "YOU'RE EVEN LAZIER THAN MY BROTHER!! WHO NEEDS SLEEP?!!"  "OH. BUT THAT'S RIGHT! HE'LL NEVER MISS A SHIFT AGAIN. BECAUSE YOU K I L L E D HIM DIDN'T YOU?!!" 

 "UNDYNE AND I WOULD TRAIN FOR HOURS! THIS IS NOTHING!!!" "REMEMBER HER?? SHE'S THE ONE WHO TAUGHT ME HOW TO DO THIS!!!" 

"WHAT? TIRED ALREADY?!! YOU HAVEN'T EVEN FACED MY SPECIAL ATTACK YET!!"  "SURIVE ANOTHER FIFTY ROUNDS AND I MIGHT SHOW YOU HUMAN!! NYEH HEH HEH!" 

"I BELIEVE ANYONE CAN BE A BETTER PERSON IF THEY JUST TRY!!!" "B U T  Y O U ' R E   N O T  J U S T  A N Y O N E,   A R E   Y O U?" 

 "IT'S CLEAR YOU CAN'T DEFEAT ME! THEREFORE I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS ELECT TO GRANT YOU PITY!!"  "NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO ACCPET MY MERCY... AND LET ME KILL YOU BEOFRE I MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL!!!" 

 "I'M SURE YOU'LL HIT ME SOME SOME DAY HUMAN!! I BELIEVE IN YOU, REMEMBER!!" "OH WAIT... THAT WAS BEFORE YOU KILLED MY BROTHER, WASN'T IT??" "THAT'S RIGHT..."  "N O   O N E   B E L I E V E S   I N   Y O U   A N Y M O R E." 

 "NYEH HEH HEH!! WOWEE HUMAN! AFTER ALL MY DODGING YOU FINALLY HIT ME!!!" "WHAT?? DID YOU FORGET I HAD 680 HP?!! 679 ATTACKS TO GO!! NYEH HEH HEH HEH!"  "...HEH!" 

"WHAT? YOU'RE ASKING WHY AREN'T YOUR ATTACKS DOING MORE DAMAGE? HUMAN..." "I LET PEOPLE HURT ME BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS DO! HURT EACHOTHER VIOLENTLY IN BATTLE!!!"  "...AND I DON'T E V E R WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND." 

 "YOUR ATTACKS HIDE YOUR HIDDEN AFFECTION FOR MY GREATNESS YOU EMOTIONAL CACTUS!" "DON'T WASTE YOUR DENIALS ON ME!" 

 "IT MUST REALLY HURT KNOWING THAT I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE DECIDED YOU DO NOT DESERVE ME TO BECOME YOUR COOL NEW FRIEND!!"  "G O O D.  I   H O P E   Y O U   S U F F E R." 

"I AM A SKELETON WITH STANDARDS!" "AND KILLING EVERYONE I KNOW AND LOVE IS BENEATH MY STANDARDS HUMAN!!!" 

 "HUMAN, YOU DISAPPOINT ME. YOUR ATTACKS HAVE NO CREATIVITY! THE METHOD IS SO DIRECT!" "NO CLASS AT ALL!!" 

 "NORMALLY, MY PUZZLES ALWAYS HOLD EVEN THE TINIEST CHANCE OF VICTORY!!" "HERE... IN THIS FIGHT..." "T H E R E  I S  N O  C H A N C E  O F  W I N N I N G  A T  A L L." 

"SANS TRIED TO WARN ME YOU CAN REPEAT A FIGHT AGAIN AND AGAIN UNTIL YOU WIN!" "WELL THEN, CAN YOU REMEMBER THREE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY FOUR DIFFERENT ATTACKS IN A ROW?!!" 

"YOU'RE BLUE NOW! THAT'S MY ATTACK!" "AND SOON YOUR FACE WILL TURN BLUE WITH BRUISES TOO!!!" 

 "YOU SEEM TO BE RUNNING OUT OF HEALING ITEMS HUMAN!! UNFORTUNATELY FOR YOU..." "IN THIS FIGHT..." "I WILL NOT BE PROVIDING YOU WITH REFRESHMENTS!!! NYEHEHEHEHEHEHEH HEH HEH!!" 

 "THIS FIGHT IS EASIER THAN A CROSSWORD PUZZLE!!!"  

"I USED TO THINK SANS PUNS WERE THE WORST THING THIS WORLD HAD TO OFFER..." "BUT I WOULD RATHER HAVE SANS BACK AND LISTEN TO A THOUSAND PUNS THAN FACE ANOTHER SECOND WITH YOU!!!" 

"HUMAN... IF YOU REALLY CAN RESET THIS WORLD. THEN PLEASE..." "JUST BRING MY BROTHER BACK TO ME!" 

 "I USED TO THINK YOU THAT IF YOU TRIED, YOU COULD DO A LITTLE BETTER." "NOW I REALISE, THE ONLY GOOD THING LEFT FOR YOU IS TO LET ME KILL YOU!!!" 

 "I USED TO BE SO CONFUSED WHEN UNDYNE SPOKE ABOUT A VICTORY THAT DIDN'T INVOLVE CAPTURE..." "NOW I FINALLY SEE WHAT SHE MEANT BY THAT." 

"NOW THAT EVERYONE IS DEAD, I GUESS I'LL NEVER HAVE A DOUBLE DIGIT FOLLOWER COUNT..." "I SUPPOSE COOLSKELETON95 WILL HAVE TO BE CONTENT WITH BLOCKING ONE MORE TROLL INSTEAD!!!" 

"THE WAY YOU DODGE MY ATTACKS HUMAN..." "YOU'RE GREASIER THAN EVEN THAT EVEN GRILLBYS YOU PIECE OF FILTH!!!" 

 "SOMETIMES, I CAN STILL SMELL THE SCENT OF DIRTY SOCK..." "THAT'S YOU SANS, ISN'T IT?" 

"BROTHER... FORGIVE ME FOR NOT FULFILLING MY DUTIES AND PROTECTING YOU." "I HAVE FAILED YOU..." "...NO!" "I AM STILL PAPYRUS! FUTURE MEMBER OF THE ROYAL GUARD! UNPARALLELED SPAGHETTORE!!" "FOR YOU SANS, I WILL AVENGE YOUR DEATH AND DEFEAT THIS THREAT!!!" 

"HUMAN, NORMALLY DO NOT CONDONE SUCH LAZY BEHAVIOUR, BUT IN THIS CASE..." "SURRENDER AND EXECUTION IS YOUR ONLY OPTION!!" 

"NYEH HEH HEH. REMEMBER WHEN I TRIED TO CAPTURE YOU???" "BOY, THOSE WERE SIMPLER TIMES, HUH?!" "TOO BAD YOU NEVER EVEN GAVE MY PUZZLES A CHANCE!!!" 

"WHAT DID SANS USED TO CALL IT? HAVING A 'BAD TIME'?" "THEN HUMAN! I SHALL PROVIDE YOU WITH THIS EXPERIENCE THAT WILL BE CONSIDERED 'BAD'!!!" "SOUND LIKE FUN? BECAUSE... THE AMOUNT OF FUN YOU WILL PROBABLY HAVE..." "IS ACTUALLY RATHER SMALL I THINK." 

"SNOWDIN IS SO QUIET NOW." "NOW THAT EVERYONE WHO LIVED THERE HAD TO RUN FOR THEIR LIVES." 

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS SO FOOLISH TO TRUST YOU HUMAN! TO THINK THAT YOU COULD BE BETTER..." "NOW I SEE THAT THERE WAS NEVER GOOD IN YOU TO BEGIN WITH!!!" 

"NYEH HEH HEH! ARE YOU SLOWING DOWN HUMAN?" "WHY? THE FUN'S JUST STARTING!!!" 

"I CAN DO THIS ALL DAY YOU FREAKING WEIRDO!" 

"HMMM. I WONDER IF OUR PET ROCK IS GETTING HUNGRY..." "DON'T WORRY ROCK! I WILL FEED YOU AS SOON AS I'VE FINISHED OBLITERATING THIS HUMAN!!!" 

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE EXPECTING HUMAN, BUT I'M NOT STOPPING!" 

"THIS IS FINALLY A CHANCE FOR ME TO TRY OUT ALL MY BATTLE SCENARIOS!" "YEARS OF NIGHTS PLANNING OUT ATTACKS..." "BOY! THERE SURE ARE A LOT OF THEM AREN'T THERE?!!" 

"ARE MY ATTACKS TOO EASY FOR YOU HUMAN? YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID SO!" "I WILL STOP GOING EASY ON YOU THEN...!!!" 

"BEHOLD! I HUNTED DOWN THAT ANNOYING DOG AND HAVE FOUND MY SPECIAL ATTACK!!!" 

"COME NOW HUMAN, YOU DIDN'T HONESTLY THINK SANS WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD SUMMON BLASTERS, DID YOU???" 

"HE ALWAYS WAYS SUCH A LAZY BONES. KEEPING THE BLASTERS 'STATIONARY'..." "DOESN'T HE KNOW MOVING TARGETS ARE MUCH HARDER TO AVOID?!!!" 

"NYEH! ANOTHER HIT!!" "ONLY 678 MORE TRIES TO KILL YOU THEN!!!" 

"PERHAPS I SHOULD STOP PLAYING SPORTSMAN LIKE..." "I NEVER ENJOYED USING 'SHORTCUTS' WHEN YOU CAN DO THE SAME THING WITH A PULSE OF HEALTHY EXERCISE..." "BUT TO PRESERVE MY STRENGTH I SUPPOSE THAT'S A SACRIFICE I'LL HAVE TO MAKE!" 

"ARE YOU OK HUMAN? THERE'S THIS REALLY ANNOYED LOOK ON YOUR FACE..." "AND TRUST ME, IT'S NOT GOING AWAY ANY TIME SOON!!!" 

"MAYBE ALL THIS TIME, I SHOULD HAVE STOPPED BELIEVING IN YOU..." "AND BELIEVED IN MYSELF INSTEAD!!!" 

*MERCY  *FLEE 

 Papyrus suddenly appears next to you. 

"WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?!! I'M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU YET. YOU DIRTY BROTHER KILLER!!!"  

...this is never going to stop is it?  QUITTING... 

Resetting over and over to get new dialogue is fun. But you can have too much of a good thing... ;D