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anxiety-trademark · 3 years

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The week in review:

Raw 11/30 NXT 12/02 NXT UK 12/03 Smackdown 12/04 Takeover War Games 12/06 + Main Event 12/03

Raw:

...Yeah hi, what the fuck is with the doll trapped inside of the table? Is that a metaphor for Alexa??

I’m so happy for her being able to have segments with Orton. Good for her.

Alexa’s like a mere inch taller than me so she’s a nice gauge as to to how tall the men’s roster is in comparison, and Randy? Fucking tall.

So the writing was on the wall; Fiend cares about Alexa (whether the nature is abusive is irrelevant to this point) and Randy has figured out how to use Alexa as a pawn to manipulate Fiend. I was kind of hoping Fiend/Alexa were in control of the gameboard, but it seems I’ve been duped.

The only complaint I have about this is how... compliant and helpless Alexa was in this segment. She’s not only been possessed/traumatized into caring about Fiend, but furthermore she does care about him, so why wouldn’t she be fighting against Randy when she was in his arms? The writing of her character in this particular segment seemed shallow. I know she can play whatever emotion they want from her, so to not ask for any emotions at all is curious.

Also the only person who isn’t a heel here is Alexa, and I won’t really hear any argument on the manner. Fiend is a predator at best. Orton is a psychotic douchebag.

My head hurts. Imagine Becky being stuck in a tag team with Lana rather than throwing a huge fit about not being able to defend her title for fucking months.

“Sarah you wouldn’t understand, but Shayna and I are about to-- *starts smiling like a fucking idiot*” Wow I want to defend wwe’s incessant need for giving Lana a storyline but I’m so fucking tired of abysmal promos. God. I. Miss. Becky. WHY is the Raw women’s champion wrapped up in this??

“First of all... ew.” lolololol

Shayna’s hatred for Lana is fucking hilarious.

Why is it, whenever Nia and Shayna do their dual barricade ragdoll move, Nia always gets the lighter one?

Nia fucking pummeled Lana lmao.

I kind of wish this story had a live crowd, I’d like to see if all of this was actually buying Lana some goodwill from the audience.

Hilarious watching Lana sit on the bottom rope for a few seconds before climbing through onto the apron, before slinking down to a sitting position, before finally collapsing onto the floor barely peering into the ring. Tf is she doing rofl.

Now she jumped up onto the apron lacking any enthusiasm, tagged herself in, and is climbing onto the turnbuckle while seemingly sobbing. What in the fuck lmao.

God Asuka is working overtime here.

*Bonus* online exclusive: how fun, Lana and Asuka are singing and dancing together. This division is turning into a garbage fire rq.

Oh is Mandy still out with an injury in kf?

Love it when new debuts get no fucking entrance. Yikes.

Mia Yim had such a dope theme song and entrance, I can’t believe it’s been scrapped so that she can call herself “Reckoning” and hang out in some dead-end group. Shame.

Oh my god. Mia loses to Dana via rollup after taking virtually no offense. What a waste of everyone’s time. I see this going nowhere, absolutely nowhere.

*Bonus* online exclusive: lmfao the Nikki Cross interview was worth a mention. First off, Nikki looks gorgeous. Second, I feel like this is the beginning of her run of not appearing on Raw because she isn’t deemed developed enough outside of a tag team, which is sad. Third, rofl @ her giving Sarah sheep’s stomach chicken to eat, I have no words. Anyway, she should be a solid midcarder. Get it together wwe.

Highlight: Probably the Nikki Cross online exclusive

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NXT:

They got Shotzi something that glows. Wow.

Why is there a silhouette as if Io isn’t already added to the team? Why wouldn’t she be? Shayna was in last year’s, why wouldn’t Io be in this year’s? Is this supposed to be suspenseful?? lmao plz.

Indi did not take a bullet for you, she was just an idiot. Also why does this bitch still have a neck brace on? It was an Eclipse, let’s get real for a second.

Why you acting like your team is cohesive anyway? Doesn’t Dakota hate you? Didn’t Toni just turn heel for virtually no fucking reason, after defending/consoling Shotzi and attacking Candice like a sore loser? *sigh*

I know fans are really into WarGames but I find the alliances really fucking weak every year. It’s as bad as Survivor Series, just with more weapons and brutality.

So Xia Li lost some matches and now she’s being tortured... okay. I’m gonna keep my comments on this to a minimum cuz I can tell this will be some long-term story.

Oh I really like how their respective team members are standing up in the back on balconies. I really fucking like the layout of this arena. Huge fan.

Why Shotzi vs Raquel though? Why is the team captain fighting? That’s not typical for these, is it?

Ugh failure to throw Shotzi through the ropes. There’s just... a skill gap in the division, you know? And Shotzi and Raquel are on the lower end of that gap. I don’t care if people love Shotzi, she’s MILES away from being a champion. What saves her is her risk-taking, but it’s just a matter of time before that bites her in the ass.

Shotzi’s offense is doing a minimal amount of potential damage to her opponent while taking herself out in the most convoluted way possible. She’s Sasha Banks on steroids.

You call it innovative, I call it foolish.

Raquel just standing there waiting with stairs in her hands. Beast.

Shotzi can’t have a kf leg injury, that negates 95% of her offense!

Limpy vs Gimpy

Setting up that ladder in the corner was clunky as shit.

A pure ladder stip is hard to have in a women’s singles match, but this match is a big pile of meh.

Honestly I’m not about to complain about all of these women getting involved because this is borderline boring.

AYYYEEE it’s Io! Io saved this match tbh. Love her, THAT’S my champion.

Give Shotzi’s team the advantage, I doubt they win anyway.

To be honest; you have former nxt champion Ember Moon, inaugural UK champion and former nxt champion who fought against Charlotte fucking Flair at WrestleMania Rhea Ripley, and current champion that beat Charlotte fucking Flair for the title Io Shirai. The idea of that team losing is laughable at best in kf. But they will, cuz fuck babyfaces.

*Bonus* online exclusive: What surprises could you possibly have in store aside from some random weapons? Also fuck your howl. Edit: she was talking about her stupid new tank, wasn’t she...

Highlight: Io showing up at the end of the ladder match

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NXT UK:

Who’s this green-shirt bro and why did he run over there to break up the brawl as if there aren’t 2 dozen officials already? Men needlessly getting involved in women’s fights irritates the shit out of me.

He also got in the way of the shot for the majority of this clip. I hate him.

I hope Jinny wins this future match.

This Aleah girl is like a cross between Kacy and Alexa, and honestly I hate it. Which is odd cuz I love them. She pisses me off though. Not sure what to make of it.

So supposedly Valkyrie is undefeated? That’s good. Let’s keep that going.

Valkyrie has nice counters and is super athletic. I say this every time I watch one of her matches but she deserves more praise.

I hate that women on UK get so little time. Send Valkyrie and KLR to nxt and send Dakota and Rhea to the MR, thanks.

I’d pay to see Valkyrie vs KLR too!

Still not a fan of Valkyrie’s finisher. Love her gear though, it looks different.

Highlight: Always a pleasure watching Valkyrie

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Smackdown:

Lmfao Bayley “fails” to break the count before rolling back outside, so she rolls back in and fucking stomps her feet while yelling at the ref. She’s good. She’s good at the basics, good at paying attention to her surroundings, and good at improvising.

Bayley and Nattie are smooth together. They’ve never had a match, right? Other than this?

Love how Bianca has all of Bayley’s attention.

Bayley just used Nattie’s discus clothesline against her lmao. What a troll.

I remember when Bayley tapped, her entire fanbase was crying claiming she was buried. Watching it myself, she is so obviously entering into a program with Bianca. Christ 90% of her attention was on Bianca throughout the match.

*Bonus* online exclusive: Bianca just told Bayley her hair ain’t even and she looks dusty, good fucking bye.

mmmm not sure if Sasha has the admiration of the wwe universe. Look she’s a remarkable talent in the ring, but she is insanely annoying outside of it. She’s changed nothing from the time she was heel, other than no longer cheating to win. She obnoxiously cackles, she’s egotistical, she gets along with legit nobody. I’m not convinced the crowd would even cheer her, even if she’s one of the best bell to bell. Her fans can call her the number 1 babyface, but that’s a stretch if I’ve ever heard one.

“I won the first 2 women’s mitb” aaggghhhhh I hate that Carmella still claims that. Debatable. De-ba-ta-ble.

Lol “I can’t help if men are obsessed with me,” alright sure. That’s good tbh. Carmella is a notorious cheat but regardless, that’s good.

Well the reason y’all never faced one on one is because Carmella’s a Smackdown veteran and you just got here, but I digress.

So where’s the army that still runs around crying that Becky buried her when she called her the greatest woman to never be great (facts)? Where’s the outrage for Sasha demeaning Carmella and claiming she’s not in her league? Sasha fans are wild.

“With half the work I’m better than you. I held onto that Smackdown woman’s title longer than all of your title reigns combined.” omg she’s dead. Shots fired, target hit. Someone call Sasha a hearse.

Instead of sitting there making ugly faces, Sasha really should’ve gotten up and left. Lick her wounds or something kekek.

Highlight: I’m into this Bayley/Bianca thing they’re building

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Takeover WarGames:

I just think it’s so cool that wwe shelled out the money for a Black Sabbath song. Of course they can afford it, but for a Takeover? Points.

Nobody wants to come take out Candice rq? No? Nobody at all???

Oh hell yeah Dakota gets to start? Good for her, since she skipped out on it last year.

I don’t fucking get Ember Moon’s persona, but I like her lit gear tonight.

“Aiming it square at Team LeRae” sometimes I wonder if Vic is simply blind.

The concept of this match is fun, but it always feels a little hollow until the match actually starts.

So cool that they got Wade Barrett on commentary in nxt.

Sloppy headscissors by Ember, but Dakota sold well per usual. Not sure why they’d have Ember run the marathon.

I’d pay so much money to see the 4hw in a WarGames match.

Oh that’s cool, Raquel put her hand up to protect Ember’s face from Dakota’s kick. We appreciate a performer that protects her coworkers.

That sunset flip powerbomb by Shotzi onto Raquel off the ropes was neat.

Toni up in here just removing all the turnbuckles. I wonder if running into exposed turnbuckles actually hurts that much.

Toni barely taps Ember with a kendo stick and she acting like she’s dying.

Man that 6 woman thing was so choreographed. Even did a countdown.

Io ma’am we don’t-- we don’t need ladders... okay. Okay.

Io scaling the cage and Raquel knocking her off like in Super Mario Brothers.

I feel like WarGames is convoluted enough, but sure, let’s get into the winter of overbooked women’s matches. New season, same bullshit.

AHAHAHAHAH IO’S FUCKING SMILE. She is standing on top of the cage putting a garbage can over her head, and has the audacity to wear a shit eating grin. I cannot, this girl is crazy and I love her.

Stupid spot? Maybe. Is Io batshit insane for jumping like 10 feet down completely blind? Absolutely. Points.

CLEAN ddt by Io onto Raquel. Spiked.

Candice is dumb. Got a trash can lid standing opposite Shotzi who’s wielding a chair. Candice throws the lid, says ‘hold on’, then climbs through the ropes to grab a kendo stick while crying ‘help’. Grabs her kendo stick, goes to bat against Shotzi, gets her hand smashed lmao. Idiot.

Oh that was perfectly timed. Dakota busts Shotzi with a chair strike and barely even begins to turn around before Io missile dropkicks the chair into her from out of nowhere.

Dakota stuck a trash can over Io and then did a double stomp that impacted the trash can so badly she couldn’t slide it off lol. eesh.

Is Ember gonna attempt to Eclipse someone onto a set of upright chairs... Omg no. You’re gonna take the brunt of this, jfc don’t.

Oh good god what a fucking beautifully bad idea. I hope you’re okay bro. Man Dakota FLIPPED over. Nasty, nasty move.

That Storm Zero through a trash can was ace. Honestly I see a lot more potential for Toni here in nxt than over on UK.

This is a really good match.

It’s not that I hate the coffin drop off the ladder onto Candice, but Candice really ruined it by preemptively grabbing a chair and holding it on top of herself. Kind of spelled out exactly how that was gonna go.

Io and Rhea make an amazing team.

Rhea and being thrown into the cage on the outside of the ropes, name a more iconic duo. I’ve heard that’s the worst part about cage matches cuz your skin legit gets dragged against the links as you slide down.

Holy shit Io just got powerbombed through a ladder. OOF.

That’s the ending?? Raquel pinned Io for the ending??? Holllllyyyy shit.

Interestingly enough, I’d have to say the 2 team captains did the least amount of notable work.

What took out Shotzi: On screen the last bump she took was her coffin drop onto Candice, which kept her from saving Io. Mess.

Some great spots for sure. Recency bias might be a thing, but I feel like I enjoyed this one more than last year’s.

Highlight: That Eclipse onto the chairs to Dakota was WICKED

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*BONUS*

Main Event:

Main event giving people promo time? Is this typical??

Okay look. You acknowledged Alexa is brainwashed. You acknowledged that she chose him (even though she’s brainwashed so you really shouldn’t be upset). Now you’re claiming SHE came out and slapped you, as if you haven’t been relentlessly bothering her about her boyfriend that she chose because she’s brainwashed, and as if you weren’t the one who came out and confronted her. Is this not super problematic to anyone else??? Nikki this doesn’t make you a victim or even a decent person/friend lmao.

It’s a good promo though. Good delivery, very buyable.

WHY DO I GOTTA HEAR THE CAW MUSIC???

I know Lacey’s being a bitch, but it’s an awful hair style, Sarah. I’m sorry.

Lmao Lacey is so god damn funny when she has someone to play off of. I can see the appeal in her and Peyton, I can see it. I can see it. The pairing should absolutely not last long because Lord they’re abysmal in the ring together, but outside? Swell, just swell.

Lacey will always have a job solely for her character work if nothing else.

Haha Lacey running from Nikki. She’s a treat.

Really thought that spinning heel kick was gonna be the end of it.

This match is definitely Main Event(tm) worthy, but I’m glad it has some semblance of a story going into it.

Peyton’s jump kick looks dumb.

Probably for the best that Nikki loses this, even if Peyton is awful.

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*WarGames was definitely the highlight in an otherwise really lame week of wrestling. I don’t even have a runner-up, I’m just thankful for WarGames.

#wwe #issa review #feel free to ignore these #cuz who tf cares lesbihonest #today's props goes to:#dakota kai

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