Reprogrammed my own brain by realizing that people don’t just get your devotion outright, but have to work for it. You do not go from 100 to 0 as people fault u. You go from 0 to 100 as they prove bit by bit that they are worthy of ur trust and patience. I used to be infinitely patient & understanding bc I thought that was my “gambit”—an initial investment I was hoping would beget more investment from the other party. I don’t do that shit anymore bc it has never served me once. I will show kindness and compassion to someone, but unless they prove they’re willing to put in the work to make a relationship work (platonic or romantic alike), I’m not going out of my way to emulate patience bc I’m hoping that somehow that will change them. Never ever ever. Humans almost always never work like that. They either give a fuck when they see you’re on the outs w them and change, or they don’t and you’re better off. It’s not “you’re worthy of my time until proven otherwise.” It’s “you’re not worthy of extra effort by me until proven otherwise.” And that may sound harsh but it’s healthier than the opposite approach