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chicken-poncho · 3 years

Text

thoughts whilst watching jet trash

holy shit, is that cparks doing the voiceover

Great, we're 30 seconds in and I'm already dying inside

Why the fuck is he taking about bears

I'll be ur baby bear Craig

Oh god he's so gorgeous

Who is this child

IS THAT HIS CHILD

OMG KLAUS IS IN THIS

why are they playing Christmas song

oh it's Christmas Eve

SMACK ATTACK

I want to spend Christmas on the beach with someone

@whumpnthings i choose you

Robert 'i just masterbated in the ocean' Sheehan

This film has no subtitles i am :(

'hes found us' i want cparks to find me

cool vibin montage!

TITLE CARD ✨👄✨

'idk the rules but that excited me'

c r a i g omg h e l l o

mmmm drugs

Who is this cool gal on bike?

OH NO SHES LOOKIN FOR ROBO

who is mike, helo mike

why everyone so fuckin hot in this film

where the fuck did mike get that knife from oh my god

ITS HUGE

that's what she said

'i have no idea what day it is' welcome to lockdown

this film is so pretty? WHAT

oh no, they fell of the bikes

plot twist- it's not

sick omg tarot cards

its the eye fuck bit, aaah

Robert Sheehan struggling to speak? same, dude i am a fuckin disaster

you fuckin fuckin fucks i felt that in my soul

please tell me cparks + rshee got married

Shame on them, what cowards

cparks yelled and i jumped

that's a very dead cow

hope they don't get into any, uh, beef

MiKe yOu fUcKeR!

drugs + parties + people make me so nervous literally I'd rather hang w my few mates and do em rather than w a bunch of odd people in a field

Actually that sounds fun, i am a wimp

I was expecting robo Sheehan to hit someone with it and i was gonna laugh

Alas, i was WRONG, this is not a lindsay denton tribute

so, cparks, you want someone to dump a body in the lake? Well, the 1975 said there's no point in buying concrete shoes so

incase you were wondering

aw shit it's the motorbike gal

why is this film so pretty

OmG Hi mIKe

mIkE yOu cAnT FuCkInG sWiM

bye mike

that fuckin buzzin noise is back ffs

oh no mike drowned?

oh no that's DRUGS IN THE SEA!

the sound on this film is so janky wtf

its so soft and quiet and then fuck my ears hurt

mike literally is Tilda Swinton in doctor strange what the fuck

'you are going to prison'

what, is this gonna be ghosted 2.0?

i don't object

anyway

'i don't care what car you drove'

Yeah but them hot pink range rovers are sick as fuck and very very cool

HANG ON, THESE 2 ARE MAKING OUT AND I'M PRETTY SURE THERE'S A BODY IN THE BOOT

eh, crime is seggsee

the fuckin BOOT JUST OPENED

abort abort abort abort

oh thank god, he's not dumping her body?

ARE THEY GONNA BEAT UP CPARKS

hold up boys, I'm coming with you!

lemmie just

guys

GUYS

it's the hottub scene!

oh sorry Craig its a jacuzzi

My bad

oh GOD

why did i think craig was going to smack him

there's bubbles oooh

who is the guy in the sunglasses 😳🥺

CrAiG sToP cHoKiNg LeE

'guys wanna bang girls and girls wanna stay the the uk'

well, isn't that disgusting

erm, wow its getting ✨violent✨

Excuse me he just fell in the pool

i know he's not dead yet but there's a

(and his name is ✨Craig Parkinson✨)

why are cows so fuckin CUTE

guys, lee sucks

it was shay oh no he took the money

where is Craig CMON HURRY UP

Nice, they just referenced the films title!

'im so so sorry' cool story bro

AYO HES HERE

oh wow it is his kid

Craig, you suck

MIKE NICELY DONE MATE!

jesus that kid is gonna have so much trauma after that car chase scene

RIP CRAIG, WHY DO U ALWAYS DIE

oh good he's not dead

this small child really fucked them over wow

is he gonna kill the kid CRAIG NO

EXCUSE ME

STOP

STOP TRYNA KILL A KID

Im No LiAr no but you suck

bye bye Craig, stop dying

god bless this woman for getting outta that shitty relationship

that kid is so cute

this is a vaguely happy ending! w0w

THE KID STOLE THEIR MONEY? nice

brilliant, 10/10 mother+daughter bonding

mkay that's it, idk if you made it til the end but ✨thank you if you did✨

#Spotify #welcome to the shitshow #Jet trash #Jet trash reaction #live blogging #Film commentary #i think dylan is in trouble wouldn't be proud of that shit show #Craig Parkinson #Robert Sheehan #welcome to the illegality tag #this film is so beautiful

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