neil is a completely fascinating character to me, and so much of that is because of his death. it's indisputable that he killed himself because he knew that the only control he had over his life was his death, and he couldn't stand to live without the autonomy that he knew was his right. i know the logic, and it's so easy to deduce. my qualm is, did he think of todd? and if he did, what was he thinking? did he even think of him at all? did he hope and pray before pulling the trigger that neither he nor todd would wake up after that night, and did he feel guilty for wanting to rip todd away from the life he had? the life that todd had because of neil?

the one right thing that mr. nolan ever said was that neil's death was a tragedy. it's a tragedy to the future of what neil could have been, and what he could've had, surrounded by people that love him.