#I um JUST picked up clay so if he's kinda fucked up. don't be mean to him I will ruin you
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hey everyone I made a FELLA
#guiltyart#3d artwork#clay#sculpture#wolves#soapstone#I um JUST picked up clay so if he's kinda fucked up. don't be mean to him I will ruin you#he was just born
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The Beekeeper Review
Oh boy, I was ready for Beekeeper, but for all the wrong reasons! The poster looks like Jason Statham is gonna turn into bees in this movie. The trailer was bad. The premise is insane. We used Not The Bees meme in the preshow. I was so prepared for a goofy good time, especially after suffering through Mean Girls and Book of Clarence fumbled the ending.
I will say up front, I got a decent amount of respect for Jason Statham. Not only did he help produce this movie, but he seems like a nice guy, family man in a committed relationship, but not like a dick about it. He stands by for the Stuntman Union, that's pretty awesome. And of all the meathead action heroes (your Stallones, Schwarzeneggers, and Rocks) he works the best is pretty much any action movie they put him in. Like you don't watch these movies to see any of these guys become different characters, you just watch them transposed into different situations. And Statham kinda just fits in any movie you put him in. That's respectable.
What's This Movie About?
Jason Statham is Adam Clay, a beekeeper. When his landlady falls for a phishing scam and kills herself, he reveals that he is also a Beekeeper with a capital B, which is basically a superpowered secret police officer. And he's about to kill anyone even remotely responsible for his landlady's suicide.
What I Like.
This movie is basically asexual boomer John Wick. While not quite and well staged and shot as those movies, it's still pretty satisfying and crunchy. There are some kills in this movie that made me go "Huhuh, bruuuutal!" The pacing of this movie is excellent as well, keeping me engaged but not overwhelmed. The villains in the movie are perfect. I didn't even need the landlady to kill herself, I was ready for the Beekeeper to murder these fuckers as soon as they were on screen. Pretty much all of them that aren't crazy mercenaries are tech sector bros and nepobabies, and you don't know true satisfaction until you see a guy try to bribe someone with NFTs and then immediately get thrown off a bridge. And the escalation of the violence is sublime. Clay starts out almost like a slasher, hiding in the shadows and picking off guys one at a time. Then, when the road trip section of the movie begins, he starts taking out squads of guys, stealing their guns to use. And the ending is almost a one-man storming of the White House. I actually like Clay's personality in the movie. Yeah, he's basically just Jason Statham, but I like that he goes out of his way to avoid killing as many people as he can. And he has a frank kindness I dug. I have a feeling that this'll be an unpopular opinion, but I actually like the cutaways to the FBI agents. Going to them seeing the aftermath of the Beekeeper's carnage was pretty interesting and I like both the characters. Admittedly the politics of the movie is slightly muddled, but I ain't gonna hate anything that say "punish the greedy".
What I Don't Like.
Um... The ending chickens out of it's set up a little bit, but it also ends so quickly that you don't really have time to think about it.
Final Summation.
This movie is actually good. Not so bad it's good, not ironically good, not good if you shut your brain off. Actually, legitimately good. What the actual fuck.
Why don't we have more movies like this? I don't mean sequels, I mean movies like The Beekeeper. I mean yeah, "don't be greedy" is a common moral, but I mean why don't we have more movies where unstoppable forces just plow over the greedy. I need so many movies where greedy douchebags get murdered indiscriminately, that I want to be sick of them. (But I never will be.) I want these movies to be so ingrained in pop culture, that when Joe Buggknutz comes up with his next get rich quick scheme, he doesn't go through with it because he's afraid Jason's gonna strangle him to death in his sleep.
So... Go see this movie. It's good, even though Jason Statham doesn't turn into bees.
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Bonnie & Clyde || Tom Riddle x Reader ♧part 2♧
When I woke up in the morning the first thing I thought about was the books I stole. I sat up straight and looked around. The dorm was empty. I yawned and reached over to my bag while looking at the clock that told me it was exactly 11.00am. Luckily, t was saturday. I opened the book on dark magic and skipped a few pages until I came across something that peaked my interest.
Horcruxes.
I've read about them numerous times before. I have however never fully been able to understand how one makes a horcrux. I knew it involved splitting the soul but the next page was ripped out of the book. I yawned again while closing the book. I looked at my bag and picked up the book on Voodoo rituals.
I carelessly flipped through the pages, not really paying attention to the titles of different rituals. I was with my head somewhere else until suddenly a small spark shot through my middle finger. It didn't hurt. I in fact am nit even completely sure if I even felt it. It was more mental than physical. I looked at the page I was on and read the title.
'Wither away evil love spells and restore ones ability to love normally'
I was quite intrigued to be honest. Even though I was pretty sure I wasn't under a love spell, something told me that it would come in handy.
'Make a solid heart-shaped form out of dough or clay and carve the name of the person who cursed you.'
This wasn't like any of the magic we were thought in school. It was almost like a religion.
'Under the moon a day prior to the full moon dig a hole and put the heart in. And squeeze the lemon over it.'
I read the entire ritual and then closed the book with a sigh.
I put both books away and dressed myself and brushed my teeth before walking out of the dorms and into the surprisingly empty common room. Then it hit me and I rolled my eyes.
The first Hogsmeade weekend. There were three in a year. Some students have complained it wasn't enough. Others like myself think there are too many. I never really go. Got nobody to sign my permission slip so what can you do. I went to sit on one of the love chairs in the corner of the room rather than the couch in the center.
I looked around the empty common room to make sure nobody was there and grabbed the book on dark magic again since the voodoo one kinda creeped me out a little bit.
I tried again to find some more information that I wanted on horcruxes but was again unsuccesful. It was all for recreational purpouses ofcourse.
I heard some news in the corridors that muggles were dealing with some kind of criminal couple. They go town to town robbing banks and shops. The woman -I think her name is Bonnie Parker- is said to keep going on and on about how she wants to be remembered for a long time after she dies. She wants everyone to know her name. That's why they cause so much mayhem and chaos together. To be known by the people.
I wanna be remembered when I die. Also not just by friends. But by everyone. But in the wizarding world things like that are more complicated than just robbing a few banks and killing 3 or 4 people. I'm gonna have to achieve something big. But Bonnie and Clyde were my OTP. Even if thhey were muggles.
In that moment right then I decided that I in fact wanna be remembered and known by everyone. And I was gonna do anything to achief my goal. Causing mayhem and chaos isn't an exception.
I flipped through the pages again mindlessly thinking about something huge I could achief that will put my name in the history books when I was snapped out of my thoughts by the closing of the common room door.
I quickly closed the book and hid it behind my back. I looked up to see a pissed looking Tom Riddle walking into the common room. He was looking at me and raised an eyebrow.
"What were you holding?" He asked spitting every word with annoyance framing it.
"Um a book, what did it look like?" I asked sarcasticly.
"Don't act funny, what is the title of the book." He asked.
I rolled my eyes.
"Why are you so mad? And why do you wanna know what I'm reading?"
Tom huffed and walked over to me at a fast angry pace.
"I was in the library and I noticed my book was missing." He said.
"Um, it's a library. Students get books there all the time. Now if what you're getting at is that I happen to have the book you're looking for I'd tell you to leave because I really don't think you'd be into these kinds of books." I told him.
Why the fuck would he want a book on dark magic? This boy has the highest grade in all our classes, what can't he do with normal magic, that he can do with dark magic.
He narrowed his eyes for a moment.
"Just tell me the title of the book and I'll leave you alone." He negotiated.
I sighed. I was 100% sure I didn't have his book.
"I can't." I said honestly.
He raised his eyebrows as if asking me what the fuck I was getting at.
I sighed.
"You'll think I'm psycho, and you'll tell everyone and then I'll get in trouble." I explained.
He smirked slightly.
"I won't. Just show me the book (Y/L/N)" He sighed. The small smirk still present.
I groaned. "Fine" I said and slowly got the book from behind my back.
I handed it to him and he stared at it. His smirk was growing bigger. "What's a girl like you doing with a book on dark magic?" He asked.
I rolled my eyes. "You've seen the cover, may I have my book back now?" I asked him keeping my eyes on the book.
"No." he said.
I looked at him. He still had the smirk on his face with one eyebrow raised higher than the other.
"You said you wouldn't tell anyone and leave me alone." I said in a little bit more of a whine than I intended.
He chuckled.
"That's not why you're not getting it back." He stated. "You're not getting it back because it's mine."
I narrowed my eyes trying not to let him notice how surprised I was.
"What does someone like you need with black magic." I asked.
He raised his brows. "What do you mean 'someone like me'?" He asked.
"You know... someone that's good at every class and probably one of the most powerful students here." I described. "I'm just trying to say that you probably don't need black magic to make you a better wizard"
His facial expression turned into a amused one.
"You're oblivious to the fact that you are the second best student in Hogwards. No?"
"What does that mean?" I asked.
"That you have the best grade in herbology, transfiguration, divination and care of magical animals." He said "And you're second best in the rest of them exept for history of magic where you're third." he finished.
My mouth fel agape.
"How-" I started to ask.
"I wanted to know who I should see as a threat." He answered.
I stared at him. Right then was the first moment in my life that I couldn't read someones expression. Was he joking? Was he serious? Should I be worried?
"Don't worry." He said "I realised I'd much rather have you as an ally."
He stepped closer and sat down on the other love seat in front of me. He leaned over and placed his elbows on his knees folding his hands in front of him.
"Interesting." I said with an unnoticable yawn and put my elbow on the chair arm and leaned my head on my hand. "Tell me more." I said.
Riddle smiled.
"I wanna do something big." he said "Something bad."
I grinned at the way he was describing his plan. "Acting all mysterious are we?" I asked.
He shot me a glare.
"I've been watching you, (Y/L/N), for a while now. You have potential." He said.
I smirked. "And may I ask what exactly I have potential for?" I asked.
He shrugged and leaned back in the chair. "Still figuring that out." He said "All I know is that you're too special to stay unnoticed your entire life. You have to be known. A name everyone knows but is too afraid to speak. The persom every mother warns her child about. A face that lets everyone know that the world is ours. That's (Y/N) (Y/L/N), the queen of darkness, the dutchess of chaos, my Dark Lady."
He had his way with speech. Everyone knew that. This vision of his spoke to me in a way that no one other could. Even if someone else had the same vision, ideas or believes as Riddle. No one knew how to put his thoughts into words like he did. It impressed me, to say the least. I was high on the idea of being known, maybe feared by every single witch and wizard. 'His Dark Lady' I repeated in a whisper. I was als so impressed by the way he could actually make me believe him for a second. Even though I didn't doubt his believes. His intentions were another story. He wouldn't lie. He had too much pride, too big of an ego to lie about his plans. He just leaves a lot of his plan out. I know for a fact that he didn't tell me everything. I pity everyone who was truly stupid enough to trust Tom Riddle.
"What exactly is your plan?" I asked.
Riddle tutted while shaking his head. "You're going to have to prove you are trustworthy first." He said.
I rolled my eyes. "How." I asked. He smirked. "That's for me to know and for you to find out." He said before standing up and walking towards the door.
"Wait!" I called after him.
He turned around and looked at me expectantly.
"Will you tell me about horcruxes?"
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