i feel like mateo doesnt get enough love in this blog so im asking for mateo in the oc emoji asks!

🙈💧❤️📎

You're absolutely right anon, we ain't getting much Mateo Alcantara love in this blog >:(( But it's understandable since the triplets have everyone's heart in a chokehold HAHAHAHAHA

Also Mateo is super proud of his little grandkids getting all the attention because he's just a sucker for them.

holy shit anon you're going for Mateo's neck on the first few emoji asks oh lord HAHAHAHAHAHA

🙈 - What's a side of your OC that they don't want to show other people?

Oh boy, Mateo doesn't want anyone to see how short of a temper he has. Contrary to what you might believe, Mateo has a really short fuse. That guy can sucker punch a dude with only one working arm just because someone would look at him funny, but he learned to control his temper because he doesn't want Evalina to see such an ugly side of him. His late mother always told him that his outbursts were similar to his father (who we know is an abusive bitch to both him and his mama) and that really gave him a slap in the face.

When he met Pedro for the first time when they were like ten or twelve, he learned to be more patient and compassionate. Pedro balances Mateo out like a charm, and his goofy tendencies led to Mateo learning restraint. When Alma came into the picture, Mateo's anger issues were lessened as well since that woman can give him a scolding of his life and he can't do anything about it because Pedro, who's like a brother to him, is smitten with this woman who likes to hit him with a chancla.

He learned to be more mellow and more accepting with what he has in life when Alejandra came into the picture. He doesn't want her to see his flaws while he was courting her, so Pedro made sure to teach him everything he needs to know to romance a gal (and that included him NOT going into bursts of impatient rage). But Alejandra still accepts him no matter what his little mood swings <3 He vowed to never hurt Eva like his father hurt him, so that also contributed to him repressing his anger prone side.

💧 - Random angst headcanon

Mateo would often go weeks without sleep as punishment for himself for not protecting Pedro when they ran away from their pursuers. He always blamed himself for how Julieta, Pepa, and Bruno grew up to be fatherless.

❤️ - Their love language(s)?

Definitely Quality Time and Words of Affirmation. Mateo never got any good quality time with his parents as a kid, so whenever someone (aka Alejandra) makes it a habit to dedicate a significant portion of their day for him, he'd be over the moon. He never really knew that he had Words of Affirmation as a love language, but when Alejandra started trying her best to write him little poems and written love letters (which she is terrible at, by the way), he'd cherish them like it was the most precious thing in the world.

📎 - a random fact.

Mateo likes to read...questionable literature. It's very well written, it's good, and it's literature...but it's questionable cough aka he likes to read erotica cough

Working through my obsession with being loved and fomo

If you want to be a good writer, you really do have to write. So goes the logic for literally everything else you want to do but there seems to be a crucial gap between me and writing - dreadful isn't it. I probably need some direction, I'll do exercises and things. I think first I should prioritise this because, for one, its dreadfully therapeutic and unfortunately, annoyingly, works really well to alleviate some stress and cut off vicious cycles of thinking. Here's what I was falling into - it was a bloody insta post from alfie, him and taylor and andrea and probably miriam all of them having a great time, I am muting all of them (I can't presently do taylor but i will when she posts) oh and tina just all of them cause i just watch their stories and pity myself about them not liking me and about taylor being a prick to me and how if i had gone to uni with them this year probably maybe i would be a part of all this. I need to be able to move on, and sometimes i feel like I have but I also have all this pent up emotion, Idk i guess i'm just not used to it and its a fact of life that sometimes people just don't like you anymore or don't want to be your friend or don't have energy or care about you or maybe never did, but it is very hurtful what can I say. There are so many other cool people and I am going to make great friends of my own when I go to uni but gosh darn what a stress. Anyway I think that whenever one of them posts something I watch it and feel bad about myself and I really have to let it go because that's a self destructive behaviour and all it does is feed the demon inside that wants to know what they're doing and all that. God its dreadful. I look forward to not caring, and obviously being abandoned makes you romanticize it. God am I to her what alex is to me? what an embarrassment, I look  forward to the day I don't care. I made Sara my friend, she likes me, there really is nothing wrong with me. Andrea was never that great of a friend, I don't really even like Alfie, and Taylor I loved dearly, though she is very flawed. So it is fine to not be a part of it, Taylor was hurtful and when I get the chance to talk to her I will, but I shouldn't have to be fixated on this. I should allow myself to be free from concern about this.

Oh now the Nick complaints, Nick has been ignoring me completely going on two weeks now and more or less ignoring me before that. It makes me worry there is something wrong with our friendship or that whatever I may have done to Taylor she's told him about and now he doesn't love me. It's probably not that. I think Nick is just not that great of a friend, as in I love and adore him, but he's not able to be there you know ? He's in his own world, he's not reliable, and he's busy, he has work, and he's not a bad person and he's not a bad friend to have , and maybe he can give it to other people in a way he can't give to you! Maybe its true! But my anxiety about being loved and being loved the most shouldn't dictate how I feel about my friend. I need to understand that he is who he is, that there are circumstantial factors, but you have to understand who people are by what they show you, and what Nick shows me is that when he's there, he's there and it's amazing, but when he's not he might not be for a while. And also he has a boyfriend, but Nick is Always going to have a boyfriend, that's part of who he is, so I can love him, but I can't expect him to be the friend that's gonna show up in the day to day. John is my day to day, Alejandra is, and part of that is also who you're close to geographicaly and what your relationship has been through in the past. Jaya and I can have that patchy communication and it's wonderful, Ella and i have more time under our belt. So it's upsetting that he won't make you a priority as you do him but you gotta know this is part of who he is, and part of who he is, also, is not being very well i suppose in various ways and this is how he protects himself in many ways.

You see isn't it great to work through these things, what I need is a new institution where people are trying to make friends, the french course would be a great shout, honestly I think I might be up to it at this point, I need to book things and not just speculatively look, I also think I really need to drop the social medias, if I were living my dream life right now what would I be doing? I'd be writing and winning competitions and jobs, and I would have a girlfriend, and I would hang out with my friends all day. That's another thing being on this year is teaching me, not having to feel in demand all the time. What I loved about school and going out, at least in part, would be the performance of the thing, I want to feel wanted and seen and cool and loved and respected, so living with only my own eyes to watch me is a weird thing to go through. (Important to note also that there were so many days at schools that I wasn't in demand, that my friends wouldn't hang out with me, that I didn't crash into anyone or make them laugh, and actually I think a lot of the anxiety I have about these daily interactions is that feeling of giving a performance and wanting to impress). You see the writing really helps unravel my brain.

Well there you are, I'll see you tomorrow, I'm taking the apps off my phone and today I am trying to commit to asking myself to live my dream life.