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im-fairly-whitty · 3 years

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I would read an entire book about icarus and asterion/The Minotaur’s happy childhood /)

* pockets your kind words and slides these headcanons back across the table in return*

- Icarus is a very energetic and outgoing child, but since his father was afraid he might be targeted by the black market for the potential magical value of his feathers he was kept hidden at home until he was ten and they were moved to the palace. This means that despite his personality, Icarus got overwhelmed pretty easily when they first moved, even small crowds and busy open courtyards sending him into panic attacks if he wasn’t careful and pushed himself too hard.

This generally led to him hiding in a quiet corner until he could calm down and breathe normally again, something Asterion realizes very quickly about his new friend and that he tries to help with. Icarus is mostly just very frustrated whenever he gets overwhelmed because he wishes he could adjust faster, but Asterion’s patient and laid back personality goes a long way to both helping him calm down when things get to be too much and finding quieter two person adventures and games to play while he adjusts.

- Icarus’s crippled wing has been that way since birth, though they arent sure if he came out that way or if it was an injury sustained due to a shaken midwife’s mistake since Daedalus wasn’t in the room for the birth. Regardless it has always been smaller and a little misshapen his whole life, meaning he is unable to fly naturally. Despite that though he is able to soften a short fall to glide just a bit though not very well, he carries his balance differently than other people, and his wings have a body language all their own that end up telegraphing his emotions to those who know him well enough to read them.

While he is actually a bit vain about his wings they can be a pain to take care of, his annual molt in particular leaves him scruffy and irritable and tired for a couple weeks. Normally he doesn’t mind too much if people touch his wings as long as he has given them permission first, but during a molt his father and Asterion are the only two people allowed to touch his wings since they’re extra sensitive and the extra help keeping them groomed properly is worth the embarrassment of it. (Imagine the embarrassment you might feel at not being able to effectively do something like wash your hair yourself even when you’re a teenager.) He eventually minds Asterion’s help much less than his father’s, in true teenager fashion.

- One dreadful summer Icarus gets feather mites and swears he’s nearly decided to cut off his stupid wings entirely by the time the witchy queen kindly manages to concoct a potion to get rid of the pests . In return for a dose of the potion once a year he often brings her a bundle of his best molted feathers to show his thanks which do indeed have excellent magical properties to them that she appreciates very much.

- The biggest bother when he is finally fitted for a wing prosthetic as a young adult so he can finally learn to fly is that he has to learn to rebalance himself again while wearing it which is exhausting work.

- In the original myth it’s said that Asterion, because of his monstrous inter-species nature, can only eat the cannibalized meat of humans, generally slain by his own bloodthirsty rage. In HC!AU however his mother discovers through her occult studies that this is not actually a part of his nature, but actually a kind of magically imposed allergy for lack of a better term. When the prince is riled up by combat or exposed to blood or meat an animalistic and violent bloodlust is magically triggered that overwhelms him.

His mother concocts an elixir that is able to dissipate it and bring him back down to normal as a kind of antidote, so they end up learning to manage the curse by limiting his exposure to triggers and keeping the cure on hand at all times. In the end it kind of ends up being like a magical peanut allergy, except where if you have a reaction someone /else/ could die. (Also the antidote potion uses Icarus’ feathers as one of the main ingredients! The queen isn’t sure why they are so potent in helping that specific magical recipie, and if Daedalus knows why—or even why his son has wings in the first place—he’s certainly never told anyone. The queen suspects that Icarus’ wings have a tie to Posideon like Asterion does, but she can’t know for sure until either the god or the inventor spill the beans.)

- The queen had this allergy theory since Asterion was an infant, meaning she always kept Asterion away from anything that might trigger an attack. The thoery was first proven by his first episode when he was ten years old. Icarus and the prince had snuck off during a festival that was happening on the royal grounds and Icarus, upon them finding a foreign kebab vendor who apparently hadn’t gotten the strict no-meat-served-at-the-palace-memo, insisted Asterion try venison.

This of course very quickly devolved into an extremely dangerous situation that involved a hasty emergency evacuation, ten wounded royal guards, twenty damaged vendor stalls, and three weeks of a very distraught emotional recovery for both Icaurus and the prince after the queen was able to get close enough to intervene with the prepared antidote. The queen explains her now confirmed theory to them both, assuring them that it wasn’t either of their faults and noting curiously that even at the very worst of it Asterion never attempted to harm either Icarus or the queen during his rage, which provides all three of them a small comfort at least for future potential episodes, though all of them are shaken for a good while afterward.

- After that Asterion steers clear of any accidental snacks and doesn’t have another episode of note of real note until he’s in his twenties since as he gets older he gets better at controlling himself when he feels an episode coming and is generally able to remove himself from the situation. Instead of learning to fight like most royalty would (and after seriously accidentally injuring a wrestling instructor with his inhuman strength) Asterion instead does solo exercise training like running and weightlifting, getting safe practice at controlling and settling himself whenever his adrenaline starts to spike so that he doesn’t need the cure every time. He also never learns to ride since no horse has ever let him closer than the seat of a chariot, understandably spooked by his appearance.

- Aforementioned second largest episode occurs when a disastrously brave/foolish sell sword accepts a contract to kidnap the prince’s royal companion either dead or alive for a magically inclined client willing to pay a fortune for his feathers. When Asterion is woken in the middle of the night to find a struggling and injured Icarus being dragged out a window by a hooded stranger, the prince loses it completely and absolutely slaughters the assassin. Like, as in no one ever discovers who the man was since later what’s left of him is far beyond a state even resembling recognizable.

Asterion is so far gone in his rage that not even the queen is able to get close for hours afterward since the distraught Asterion won’t let anyone near the wounded and unconscious Icarus, trying to rip apart anyone or anything who gets too close. The situation is only diffused once the drugged Icarus is able to shakily regain consciousness enough to gently talk the prince down enough to take the antidote.

#Icarus #Asterion #happychildhood!au #is this based on my own chocolate allergy?#perhaps loosely #there’s a weird thing on my dad’s side where if some of us eat quantities of chocolate we get weird anger mood swings #I mean luckily I’ve never actually ripped someone apart but there’s precedence there

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winstonhcomedy · 5 years

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How’d Winston Do This Weekend? 11/2-11/3

What a wild and wacky weekend of wonderful comedy!!! We had a twofer on Friday in Petersburg, and then a bit of a road trip for a shit show at Smith Mt. Lake on Saturday!!!

I love a twofer. Two sets in one night. It’s especially rare when the show isn’t in a huge city. The fact that Petersburg had two shows on Friday is kind of ridiculous, but I am definitely not complaining.

The first was the Off The Rip Improv Showcase at Plaza Mexico Bar and Grill run/hosted by my buddy Mu Cuzzo. I think it was Mu’s first time running a show like this which is pretty neat. I hit him up before the show and asked for a spot. He put me on and let me go first so I could make my second show.

I get there early and get to hang with Mu, his dope girlfriend Paula, and Bryan Williams. I knew Paula before I knew Mu. She used to come out and support a bunch of comedy shows. She’s a pretty dope artist as well. She is a poet, a writer, she makes jewelry, and there’s probably a lot more I’m missing as well. She’s a good influence on Mu, and supportive af. I always enjoy talking to her!

Mu is in a super good mood, because his mom is coming to watch him perform for the first time. This is a super dope moment to watch. When his mother gets there Mu hands her a bouquet of flowers (it’s her birthday) and gives her a huge hug. Shit like this gets me teary eyed. Small stuff like that really touches me in a crazy kind of way.

Mu’s mother is a pretty strong, and awesome woman. Mu told me she’s on city council and when city council tried to knock down city worker’s pay by 10% she told them to take all of her pay. This is a bad ass move. It show’s she gives af about the community, which is rare as hell nowadays.

Had to talk to Bryan about staying in his lane. Bryan is a good dude who means well, but he sometimes gets involved in some stuff on fb he really shouldn’t. I think arguing about stuff on FB is super annoying and pointless (even though I’ve done it.) I just advised him it’d be best to mind his own business and keep his head down and just write/tell jokes. He’s so new he doesn’t need the reputation of a White Knight or argumentative dude on FB. It was about some personal stuff going on in the comedy scene rn so I don’t want to go into it, but it was a good talk.

The room itself is pretty big and spacious. There is a weird divider in the middle of the room. The DJ is set up on one side, and the comics perform on the other. There is a pretty good crowd there, but because the room is so big it doesn’t feel super intimate. Also there's a table of about 11 people behind us that you have to turn around to see. It’s an odd setup, but it works.

Mu went up first and did a good job getting the room ready for comedy. Since the microphone was wireless and he knew a lot of the audience he walked out into them a little bit and did his thing. He got his mom involved a bit, and warmed up the room nicely.

I go up first and have a pretty solid set. I only did crowd work. It did not have the vibe of a crowd that would be into my material. I only did about 5 minutes since I was a guest, but I got his mom involved and his cousin. I had some pretty good lines, and got some big laughs.

All in all I’m glad I went to the show. I’d give my set a B-. After the set I hopped in my car and drove straight to Wabi Sabi.

Wabi Sabi is one of my favorite comedy rooms. It is usually hosted/run by Jason Klingman. Tonight Kenny Wingle was hosting since Jason was at the Brian Wilson concert in Richmond.

This is a room set up for comedy. It is in a basement, has low ceilings, tight seating, brick wall backdrop, separated from rest of the restaurant, and usually has a good crowd. This is not an easy room by any means, but they do reward funny. You have to be willing to work for your laughs. They like jokes and crowd work.

I’ve had some of the best sets of my life at Wabi and I honestly think it’s a room that has made me into the comic I am now. I’m not afraid of any room, and it really helped me build my confidence while doing material or crowd work.

When I got to the show Alex Castagne was on stage and he had a hot one. The room was full, and he was slaughtering. Alex is a funny dude, and a good friend. A real fine jew of a boy.

He gets off and Joshua Horsford goes up. Joshua has been in and out of the comedy scene for a long time. He started well before me, but he also writes/acts so there are times where he is absent from the scene for months. He had a pretty good set and Kenny went back up and did some crowd work in-between him and the next comic.

Next up is Patrick Nowaczyk one of the members of Rich Girls comedy. A comedy troupe that isn’t really doing anything anymore but was full of some of my favorite comics when I started. Pat started out super strong. He was really killing up top, but then he got into some of his longer jokes and they either didn't get them or just didn’t have the attention span for them (which sucks because he did two of my favorite bits he does).

He gets off stage and since it is late about two tables get up to leave. Which is always disconcerting as a comic who is going last on a show.

Bryan showed up to hang out after his set at Mu’s show. When he got there he asked for a guest spot. Kenny came up and asked if it was ok if he went in front of me. I didn’t give a shit. Bryan’s five minutes aren’t going to affect me.

Bryan goes up and really does not have a good set. He caught them when he got on stage, but after that he really let their lack of laughs get to him and he got more and more timid. He just had no confidence and they just weren’t his crowd. After his set about half of the remaining tables leave.

Kenny goes back up and does a little more crowd work to get the crowd back and excited again. Luckily the tables that were left were great audience members.

I go up and just go right into crowd work. They are vibing with me and my energy right away. I do about 25 minutes and I can honestly say I did one joke in the middle (and it worked).

The audience members left were amazing. I had one of the best sets I’ve had in a while. I was jumping back and forth between two large tables of guests, calling back to crowd work, and really getting weird and intimate.

Talked about sex with a mom/dad in front of her daughter who was celebrating her birthday. Talked to another lady about how much she loved to be choked. I had a lot of lines I can’t even remember, but it was a super fun and hot set.

I’d give it an A- and maybe even bump it up to an A.

It was so much fun, and really glad I was booked on this show. After the show I hung with the guys a bit, and then Klingman showed up. We talked about the Brian Wilson show, and I asked to be on next month’s Wabi show (it is the 9th year anniversary and I didn’t want to miss it.) Afterwards I headed home.

Saturday was a fun day. I got to wake up late, and hang out with my niece which is one of my favorite things to do. I also knew I had a good hang on the horizon because I was driving to Lynchburg to meet up with my dude Jake Snyder and ride with him and Paige Campbell to the comedy competition at Heath’s Waterfront Grill at Smith Mtn. Lake.

Once I get to Jake’s we got and grab a bit to eat at Wendy’s next to his house. Someone asks him how tall he is (6′7) and they then reply with, “that ain’t too bad”. I don’t even begin to know wtf that even means.

Paige gets to his apartment and then we hit the road. We are jamming to older metal on the radio, and it legit feels like we are comics in the 80s. Three dudes crammed into a car, driving into the middle of nowhere for some dogshit show and a chance at $250.

We have done this show before, and it actually wasn’t bad. I had a super hot set and won some money. They had us on a real stage, and it was pretty packed out. Definitely more fun that it had any right to be.

This time we show up. The sound system is shit, there is no stage (they have moved us to the corner), very little audience, and the energy is weak af in the room. We all know it is going to suck.

The good thing is there are definitely some folks I love to hang with here. Johnny Camacho (Roanoke comic), Kristinia Montouri (Roanoke comic), Colby Knight (lynchburg/charlottesville guy), Zach Webb (lynchburg comic), and a few others idk at all.

The host Phil Hogan goes first and he just gobbles dick for like 15 minutes. Like it is brutal. Barely any laughs at all, and really isn’t vibing with the crowd. After him he brings up a comic Ron Hebert who also bombs. The next comic is Melissa Douty. I have never seen her before, but her reputation precedes her. She is a local headliner/touring comic. Super likeable and a good joke writer. She has what I consider the best set of the night.

I go up next and in my opinion bomb. I got some good pops, and about 3/4 of my jokes work. I try to engage the crowd, but they aren’t having it at all. I also keep stepping out of the light because it is poorly placed and bright af (I get points deducted because of this).

The best part was in the middle of a setup to one of my jokes that needs people to pay attention a man who has to be 80 rolls in on his mechanical wheelchair. He is making what I can only describe as a comical amount of noise. He is knocking his wheelchair into tables, and the hostess is talking so loud asking him where he is going to sit. The whole time I am just on stage delivering a joke people don’t want to hear just trying my best not to yell at this old dude. HE WHEELS ALL THE WAY TO THE FRONT!!! On the inside I am dying laughing. It felt like it was out of a tv show.

I’d give my set a C-. I just didn’t have it that night.

Melissa Douty comes over and we both compliment each others sets. I definitely respect her as a comic. Super funny lady check her out.

Everybody else goes up and honestly it feels like everybody is bombing. Paige and Jake didn’t do great but also the crowd was shit. Johnny Camacho goes up and does a German Psychic character (that I enjoy) and gets a few good laughs. Lastly a 16 year old kid goes up with a notebook and he does ok. Not bad for a first set ever, and he had a few good ideas.

They are adding up the scores at the end of the show while the host goes back up and plays guitar for an obscene amount of time. We are hanging out in the back and 16 year old is one cocky dude. You can tell he thinks he is a comedic genius. He is trying to bust balls, and be goofy. He asks me if my legs are ok because my jeans are too tight (brilliant roast). A little later he says he’s a bit sleepy because he did a bunch of heroin, so I responded with, “yea and after your set I just wish you had Od’d.” He heard me, but he didn’t respond. He also quit busting balls after that. He did have some funny shit so I hope he continues to go out and work on new stuff. His parents were there, so it was cool to see them support his dream.

They announced Johnny Camacho as the winner. Which blew me away. Not because he isn’t funny, but just because Mellissa Douty got more laughs than all of the other comics combined. I’m happy for Johnny because at least a hack didn’t win, but I felt bad for Melissa because for that room she kind of freaking crushed.

We head back and stop at Sheetz to grab some food. We park back at Jake’s place and start doing our favorite street jokes. Then we all go our separate ways. I head home and start playing tf out of Red Dead Redemption 2! Which is how I spent the rest of my weekend.

WHAT AN AMAZING TIME BAYBEES AND LAYDEES!!! I love you a lot and will catch up with you soon. Keep on trucking everybody! xoxoxo LOVE YOU!!!

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