Happy birthday to one of my favorite games!

Guess who accidentally took a mental health break! I didn't mean to accidentally go inactive for so long BUT IM STILL GOIN STRONG BOYES! and i missed being on tumbles so LESGOOOO!!!

A little unpopular opinion on something I've seen happen more commonly throughout November/December and wanted to address quickly for my own blog: Please never hesitate to reblog anything from me. You see me reblogging a sentence starter list that you like? Go for it and reblog it from me directly without any pressure on you whatsoever to send anything into me before doing so. You like a GIF-set or musing that I reblogged? Nab it from me, it'll brighten my day to see that we share an interest in something. I like to see interaction between me and anyone who follows me. I like to see that little activity notification light up.

Honestly, it simply reminds me that we're all part of a community, and more specifically, a fandom that consists of characters and nations that we all came to love and then share that amongst ourselves. And honestly, seeing a reblog happen shortly after me but it's from the source, creates (in my opinion) an odd sense of chosen disconnect between people that can feel awkward, it's as if we're walking on eggshells as to not rub each other the wrong way. But what's wrong about going 'Hey, I see what you reblogged, I like it too!', it even gives you potential common ground to start a conversation. We're a community, and I don't know about you, but I like seeing people interact with each other beyond merely threads and notes. It's the little things that matter, after all.

Behind him, there is movement. The sharp, sudden clang of metal against metal. Lan Wangji glances briefly over his shoulder.

Perhaps predictably, Su She has decided to try and strike at his exposed back, like the dishonorable coward he is. A fool, as well, for having apparently forgotten the presence of the Ghost General despite insulting the man only a moment ago. The tip of Su She’s blade is trembling against one of Wen Ning’s chain-wrapped forearms, the trailing length of those chains pooling at his feet where they writhe like twisting like snakes, rearing to strike. Lan Wangji’s next breath brings with it the tang of resentful energy. He has already turned his attention back to the scroll.

There is more movement, though Lan Wangji doesn’t pay enough attention to discern what exactly may be happening. Wen Ning’s presence stays at his back, cool and steady as a fortress wall. “You!” Su She’s voice reaches an irritating pitch. “How dare you, you think even you have the right to look down on me?!” He makes a noise not unlike a wild boar before it charges. “You aren’t even human! I thought Lan Wangji was the most arrogant man I’d ever met, but you clearly outclass him there. You’re nothing but the Yiling Patriarch’s dog! Undead servant mutt!”

That, at last, gets Lan Wangji to pay more than a sparse fraction of attention. He has to peer around Wen Ning, who is still standing between them, a marble pillar separating Lan Wangji from Su Minshan. And, it would seem, the embarrassing clump of Moling Su and Lanling Jin cultivators slowly filling the cavern. “Dog?” Lan Wangji repeats, softly. Wen Ning does not visibly shift, but the black veins in his neck pulse, just once, ever so faintly. Resentment in the air smells like tar, sharp and thick.

Su She’s disciples pick up his call, loudly proclaiming the contemptible nature of the Ghost General, the Yiling Patriarch’s filthy, flea-ridden Wen-dog bitch, unfit to be even called a servant by way of his inhuman nature. Lan Wangji listens to very little of it. His eyes are on the part of Wen Ning’s face he can see from this angle, smooth and jade-pale as a porcelain mask, almost colorless in the low light if not for the yawning blackness of his eyes.

“You think he’s your dog, too?” Su She’s voice reaches a new and grating pitch, all inflated self-importance. “Hanguang-Jun, your arrogance knows no bounds! He’ll bite you the second his master has no use for you anymore. You’re not special, you’ve only fallen for the Yiling Patriarch’s tricks!”

Lan Wangji gives that statement exactly as much consideration as it deserves. Before Su She has even finished speaking, Lan Wangji is calling, softly, “Wen Ning?"

Wen Ning cocks his head to the side, bird-like, considering the embarrassment in front of him for a moment. Then he turns his face to Lan Wangji, looking at him with his big, dark eyes.

He answers: “Woof.”

Lan Wangji flicks a glance briefly at the advancing gaggle of cultivators. He and Wen Ning really are well and truly surrounded now. Then he turns back to the scroll, and once again lowers his charcoal to paper.

“Sick ‘em, boy,” he says. He does not raise his head again until the screaming has stopped.

cannot resist using the polls to make up a little collaborative story lol.. Not sure how much I can keep it up with my low energy/health problems lol, but I'll try to draw a new picture (+ write a small text blurb and new action options to vote on) each day based on the past day's results, at least for a while. Kind of like a 'sketch a day' type challenge, except story based with votes choosing what happens next. :0

there's a church near me that's known for being weird as fuck and full of evangelical freaks and everyone has been memeing the fuck out of them lately bc first of all a couple months ago they released a video on Facebook claiming that they'd grown back someone's fucking toes that had been shot off

and second they recently held a huge conference for like proper christian manly men or some shit and this is an actual photo from day 1 posted by their youth page

this is a church event

Free Spirit

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Whenever she’s not hanging out with her friends or fighting ghosts, she’s paying visits to her childhood home.

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The past two years, despite their ups and downs, have given me a good opportunity to improve my art. This piece is, in some ways, a culmination of what I’ve learned so far. 

I’m slowly moving away from black lineart, or just lineart in general. I find that it looks much better that way. Happy to see that my backgrounds are improving as well  :)

Now just gotta work on improving my human anatomy skills--

Here’s a close-up shot with more details!

I miss reblogging things :(

I am asking Twitter as well, but I would like to ask here too:

Rocky V (1990)

Gonna put myself out here for a hot minute to remind everyone that the runner of a poll or little event on tumblr is not responsible for the replies/posts of everyone else in the fandom, nor do they have the power to stop people from reacting in any which way in the notes of their post without turning off reblogs and shutting down the entire thing full stop. I think we can all agree on that? They are not a discord mod, or the fandom's babysitter. Tumblr is the Wild West and by god none of us are the sheriff.

That's all ok keep on keeping everyone

Also, on that note! Since the last time I made one of these, it was... the summer of last year I believe, and numerous blogs have gone inactive since then. So I wonder, how about a little starter call? I'm happy with both interactions in the era of the Guili Assembly (and even pre-it, if it fits!) and the present-day resurrection. Specify if you have a preference, and if you're a multimuse, please do let me know if you have preferred interactions.

2023 go bye bye

so you're arguing with an israel sympathizer: how to recognise their tactics and counter effectively without being a raging antisemite*!

*not all israel sympathizers are jewish, but lots of anti-israel arguments tend to devolve into antisemitism. also, i'm choosing to use israel sympathizer instead of zionist because it's more accurate: you can support the israeli genocide for reasons other than believing jewish people deserve to return to the levant, and you can believe jewish people deserve to return to the levant without supporting the state of israel and its actions. that said most people i know who do not support the israeli govt but still believe in zionism as defined above have chosen to stop self-identifying with zionism as it becomes the face of a genocide, and now express their views in other terms.

PART ONE: that's true actually

the scenario is this: an israel sympathizer says '[true statement], and that's why genocide is okay (or something to that extent)'.

WHAT NOT TO DO: '[true statement] is false actually you terrible genocide apologist!'

i am seeing this one a lot. an example of some true statements: there is currently a global rise in antisemitism. some diaspora jews only feel safe knowing there is a jewish state. jewish people are native to the levant. hamas has killed innocent civilians.

WHY THIS IS BAD: when you argue with the true statement instead of the genocide-is-okay, what you are implying is that if the statement WERE true, genocide would be okay. the statement IS true, and genocide is still not okay.

the part you need to be arguing with is 'and that's why genocide is okay'. if the post didn't SAY 'and that's why genocide is okay (or something to that extent)', you're just. attacking someone for saying true statements. stop doing that. especially stop doing that to random diaspora jews. argue with the genocide the problem is the genocide cmon people

PART TWO: ok now they're lying

the scenario is this: they are saying straight up untrue statements. they are lying! they are telling falsehoods. sometimes these falsehoods are interspersed with true statements. FOCUS on the LIES. look at part one again. don't do that.

STEP ONE: are you sure. find at LEAST two reliable sources proving it. reliable sources are primary or secondary sources, in this case. that means firsthand accounts from people in occupied palestine, or accounts relating information directly from a source in occupied palestine. try to show a little discretion with this for the love of g-d. just because you agree with a source does not make it reliable.

STEP TWO: decide how generous you are feeling. if you think the blogger is just wrong and not lying maliciously, maybe send a heads-up. if you want to debunk the claim for your followers, reblog with your (vetted, please, reliable, please) sources and a short paragraph. otherwise, block their ass! if you feel the lie is both malicious and harmful, throw a report in there.

WHAT NOT TO DO: write a callout post. i remember when we all hated callout culture can we go back to that. come ON.

PART THREE: antisemitism

the scenario is this: any criticism of israel or israel apologism is being framed as antisemitism.

STEP ONE: check yourself. is this post literally just a jew vibing while not hiding their judaism? are you blaming all jews for the acts of the israeli government? are you parroting unsourced claims (part two, step one) that sound suspiciously similar to blood libel, or well poisoning, or implying jews have a global conspiracy to control the media/banks/etc? are you blaming the israeli government for the actions of governments that do not represent a jewish state in ways that perpetuate antisemitic conspiracies* (eg, saying israel is pressuring US media outlets to take their side when that is entirely to do with the US having a vested interest in an intact israel under its current leadership)? this is not a boy who cried wolf situation some of the shit i'm seeing is super antisemitic. do better.

STEP TWO: ok, you're positive. you have verified your sources, and israel is simply doing something similar to antisemitic conspiracies. you're sure? go back to part two step two. still don't write that callout post. make a post or reblog debunking with your sources first, if you want, then block and report. *the point here being that choosing to blame a jewish state for the actions of other governments that happen to align with antisemitic myths is antisemitism. israel is doing plenty of fucked shit already you don't need to add more. also when you say things that are just. untrue, the response will be 'well you're wrong about them doing that, so what they ARE doing is okay.'

PART FOUR: don't feed the trolls

you will notice nothing on here says 'debate'. you are not going to convince these people. there will be no 'oh i see i understand genocide is wrong now', and you are just giving them a persecution complex. if you want to make a debunk, address it first and foremost to your followers. point out the arguments they use, and debunk them. point out the fallacies. point out when they're going didn't-say-boil ('i never said genocide was okay, just that israel is allowed to defend itself however it needs to!' israel is defending itself by committing genocide. they are synonyms in this context and denying that is a deliberate attempt to obscure the truth.) point out when they are deflecting, and what they are deflecting from. don't debate it won't go anywhere i'm serious resist the urge. ANTISEMITISM IS EVERYWHERE AND IF YOU ARE NOT JEWISH YOU HAVE UNCONSCIOUS BIAS. WORK TO UNLEARN IT AND STOP GOING WITH YOUR GUT. YOUR GUT WAS RAISED IN AN ANTISEMITIC CULTURE BECAUSE ALL OF THEM ARE. CHILL OUT AND START CHECKING RANDOM CLAIMS YOU SEE ONLINE.

So there's a trend I've been seeing, well for a while, but lately it's been grating on me especially hard with regards to the Crimew No-Fly List "hack". It's that genre of post that, often angrily, but sometimes just condescendingly/disappointingly tells people that they aren't taking a topic seriously enough or focusing on the correct part of it. I wanna break down just why I am find it so upsetting, and this event is an exceptional case study for it.

Because on the surface, it's entirely understandable. This is public-facing evidence in the government's own hand of a staggering litany of human rights abuses that really does deserve more in-depth discussion than it has been getting. People are absolutely justified in feeling frustrated that more discussion hasn't spawned at all social levels about this and while it's natural to cry out asking why that isn't happening, I think there's a few points that need to be kept in consideration.

A lot of us have been, in one way or another, dealing with this for years. Part of the horror of the No-Fly list is the sheer scale of it - so many people have been and continue to be harmed by their baseless inclusion on the list that it is difficult to even conceptualize how much pain has been inflicted, and that does matter. And I promise you, every single person on that list knows how big a deal both the list itself and this latest (though not the first) leak of it is.

The people on the list know. Their families know. For those lucky and brave enough to try and fight their inclusion in court, their legal teams know. All these people know, viscerally, how wretched this list is and have been bearing up under its weight for years, only talking to the select few they trust. My partner has been open about their inclusion, but I also have professional ties to people who have worked on cases trying to get names removed. Attempting to talk about their work publicly results in harassment by law enforcement and, if kept up, inclusion on the same or similar watch lists.

The angry calls for greater discussion will certainly cross the dashboards of people who are treating this whole thing like a silly meme, but it's also going to hit those of us who have been not discussing but living this constant pressing horror for years now. Hearing people say that, because we are enjoying some levity being injected into this constant source of suffering in our lives we don't "really give half a fuck about tearing down imperialism and colonization" or that we are "laughing and not actually caring" is gut-wrenching. Especially when it comes from people who also regularly talk about the need to avoid activist burnout or for marginalized people to care for themselves.

But I get the impulse to lash out like that. I have had to write and rewrite this very post more times than I can count now to cut out angry and inflammatory phrasing on my own end. And I know that, both in personal posts in the past and in reblogs, I often still fall prey to that thinking of "this is (rightly, justifiably) upsetting so I am going to lash out at people who don't seem to care".

But in this introspective moment, I am trying to stay aware (and want to try to stay aware in the future when I am tempted) that at least some of the people reblogging and posting these things are also hurting and responding to that. And while my first impulse is to cast aspersions on the people hurting me (even in this sentence I had to stop myself from slyly giving an "example" of what I would say if I wanted to lash out and thus satisfying that spiteful desire without admitting to it), I'm also trying to keep in mind my goal here.

I am hoping that at least a few people who have made (or at least reblogged onto my dash) these furious posts - both about this and other issues - will also consider what it is they are trying to accomplish. I also (again) want to keep in mind that I and people like me who are hurt by these posts aren't the only ones impacted by the No-Fly list. That people making these angry posts can be too, and as such I don't want to say that their justified expressions of frustration and rage need to be made more palatable, because they don't.

I do need to point out, though, that I've found the best way to start a discussion of a topic on the internet is to start discussing it in an open medium where others can join in. And when I look in the notes of the inflammatory calls for discussion (or even just awareness), I mostly see people talking about the call itself.

And there's nothing wrong with being angry and wanting to vent. There's not even anything wrong with being angry and wanting to vent in a public space where others can commiserate with you and help you feel less alone. But it *is* going to be much better for everyone - yourself included - if calls for awareness focus on calling for awareness and venting frustrations focus on venting in ways that don't further compound frustrations. Because looking at the notes of all of these more furious posts on these topics, I cannot imagine the constant fighting the OPs wind up doing feels soothing.

I know it doesn't seem like it, but things really are starting to get a little better for me. My health isn't, but I'm working on it. My next big disability hearing is on October 24th or 28th (I forget which)— this is when I'll find out if I'm approved or if I have to appeal again.

I can't say that I feel particularly great about my chances or my current preparedness as far as evidence goes, but I am feeling relatively optimistic about life in general, and I have been becoming increasingly more functional (mentally/executive dysfunction-wise), too. We're in the process of moving me and Arlo out of the basement and into what is currently the craft room upstairs. I've been sleeping up there with him for about a month now, but we haven't switched the furniture yet. I suspect the basement was contributing to how sick I've been at least a little bit, so I'm happy to have Arlo out of there.

Somehow I feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, even though it doesn't feel likely that we'll win this round of disability, which is going to wreak havoc on my current survival support system as Tyrell has made it very clear that she cannot do this for another year if I have to appeal again. Trying not to think about that and focus on the things I need to do to strengthen my case instead... between me & the thousands of you I really thought my lawyer would be more helpful/more involved/offer more guidance than he is. At this point there's just not a lot of time left for more doctor's appointments. Being entirely nonfunctional through the whole of 2022 really set me back.

It's weird because things should be looking quite bleak from my perspective, but for some reason, they don't.