#I guess that golden child status didnt last long kind of like my own lmao
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#Looking at my childhood art like i was a TERRIBLE artist even by child standards#No wonder my dad was so angry when i decided to try to make art work rather than get a comfy software engineering job#Like child me was DETERMINED to do this i thought it was a given there was no way i wasnt going to be an artist#Pretty much from the age of 4 when i saw beauty and the beast for the first time#But looking back at it as an adult like...i get it#I can see why my dad watched me draw these shitty weird cartoons as a kid and worried that i was going to fail miserably lol#He was partially right :/#My art is still shit but i keep at it like...like one of those whack a moles#Or the punching bag thing that gets hit and flips right back up#Did i mention i saw my dad briefly on my way up here#He's so disappointed in me i can just see it in how he talks to me or looks at me#But for fucks sake even when i was doing EVERYTHING right and getting my computer science degree and graduating with straight A's#He STill didnt want anything to do with me so its not much of a fucking change#I did notice he asked if i had heard from jordan#And no i dont keep tabs with my brother much#But i was shocked that dad hadn't heard from him in years because last time i saw my dad 2018 ish jordan was the golden child#He was the one who was finally steering his life in the right direction and studying programming#(not at my level but he's a boy so its fine)#And getting a programming job and shit#I guess that golden child status didnt last long kind of like my own lmao#Journal shit#Anyway tldr im feeling real shitty about my art right now \o/
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