#I don't think Bill *has* any currently-extant exes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tswwwit · 1 year

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Ok, so you've covered people/demons being interested in Dipper but what about creatures/demons trying to be a homewrecker and disrupt Bill n dip's marriage?? Bill's admirers jealous that dipper gets to marry Bill, like why does a lowly human gets to be with Bill but I Merfrassandra the Third that is the heir to bla bla bla bla bla bla (too lazy to type at this part) doesn't?!? It's not fair!

Oh, there's absolutely a contingent of those! Bill Cipher's one of the most powerful beings around, and most of the others on his level are unavailable for a variety of reasons. He's probably been voted Most Egregious Bachelor quite a few times over the eons!

Anyone looking to sidle on into Dipper's spot probably has the following thought process:

Bill Cipher is willing to commit, for once in his eternal life

Getting close to Bill comes with Power and Reach and Authority. Interdimensional influence, even.

And he’s good looking!

He’s hitched to some dumb young human who at best will last another few decades

Bill's a lot of things, but he's not an idiot. He knows that mortal's gonna be worm food soon enough.

If I eliminate the competition, that Committed Relationship space opens up! No human could be possibly better than me!

And yeah, so what if Bill’s pissed for a bit? He’s not gonna be that attached to a mortal

Anyone who confronted Bill about this would at best be laughed right out of the room. At worst? He's collecting parts of them as reasons not to pull the same stunt.

Dipper, however, absolutely sees people trying to open up his 'spot'. Whether he realizes that's what they're after is a tossup. But if he does? I doubt he's telling Bill about the reason for his latest near-death experience.

#It just feels awkward to go up to Bill like #Uhhhh so someone who really wanted to get with you tried to kill me #For one it fuels Bill's ego. Indirectly. And for another Dipper just feels. Weird about being desired by someone so *desirable*#It's probably a fluke he tells himself. Just that one oddball who was also into Bill #Nevermind that he runs into one more often than anyone would like #But let's be honest - Dipper's not *wrong*#Most beings are after Bill for the power and influence and handsome demon. Not Bill Himself #He's 100% Obnoxious even for a demon because he can get away with it #You'd have to be a real weird nerd to be into his brand of all-knowing geeky asshole and confident dickishness #Don't worry Dipper your space is safe. Even if someone did manage to knock you off #Bill isn't getting over THAT anytime soon #answers #I don't think Bill *has* any currently-extant exes #But if there *was* someone he had a fling with millenia ago and they tried to taunt Dipper about it #They might face awkward 'haha yeah...' followed by jealous immolation

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