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#I am depressed severely; I don’t have a lot energy I can expend so freely yet I try
kavehayati · 1 month
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Staring at my keyboard because I don’t even know what to say to all this *gestures at everyone and my life* /neg
#dora daily#never ceases to amaze me just how different people’s lives are from mine like#you guys actually somewhat tolerate living ? that’s interesting#my day consists of the equivalent of staring at the way#staring at the wall*#and getting disrespected and screamed at like daily#I am not even going to start to say how lonely it is because like genuinely I’ll be wasting my breath I’m tired of saying it and nothing#changing#I’m tired of taking steps to not being lonely anymore and nothing changing#I’m tired of seeing people having things I’ve been slaving towards so easily yet I have nothing and they have everything#I worked so hard for these few things and they’re pathetic compared to everything else#everyone else’s things that they get with such little effort or less effort than they could dream of when compared to me#I am depressed severely; I don’t have a lot energy I can expend so freely yet I try#but even the level of my trying would always be more than a sane persons efforts#how is that fair#they say better things happen but the good things are just small specks of goodness that later on make me feel bad#so they’re not remotely good anyways#to the point now I’m just horrified of the concept of things getting better because it’ll be like some uncanny valley experience#after almost 20 yrs it’s a bit too late for things to get better and truthfully I don’t know if I want it to be better because this dumpster#dumpster fire* has been all I’ve known
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