#I WANT MY ILBERD BACK... I guess he never was my Ilberd
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(ARR Diary #41) I HATE THE WORLD.
Minfilia, who still looks pretty sad, says it’s been 15 years since Winterfell fought beside anybody. She hopes everyone will cooperate more in the future. There is zero enthusiasm for going to eat free food thanks to all the crap we need to deal with and the people we’ve lost. But we pretty much have to go, because unity. Tataru and F’lhaminn might not get anything because they’re out, so the best boss lady can do is leave them a note and wait for them to catch up.
On the way out, Riol notices JoJo is not excited about free food. I take this opportunity to let him know what’s happened to poor Wilred. He tells me a good chunk of our funding comes from that damn Television, and promises to purge everyone who took his filthy money. Call me if you want help with that!
JoJo catches up with everyone at Gerudo Town... and is ordered out, because Momodi needs help. (Thancred tells me to tell her hi.) Momodi just wants to pass on a message: Alianne needs to talk to me. But she never shows. Just a bit of glass and Laurentius the ex-sellout. After he encourages me to just leave, he starts talking to someone I can’t see.
There’s a short cutscene of Nanamo praying to her ancestors’ collective spirit for forgiveness. She did what she could. I don’t think they’ll be mad at her.
JoJo gives Momodi the glass, which is an empty alchemist’s vial. She says I ought to keep it, and I ought to speak to Her Grace. (Maybe she’ll let me hug her. Probably not.)
Everyone who is not me enjoys food and booze. Alphinaud brags about how awesome the future will be, and how “his” Warrior of Light will smack anyone who gives him trouble. Come on, man, I thought we were friends. Please don’t treat me like your personal bodyguard.
The game warns me to get a snack and use the bathroom and whatnot, because now we’re going to get some cutscenes. JoJo goes to speak to the Sultana. She smiles at me! ❤️ Aymeric is smiling at the leaders. Apparently their losses weren’t as bad as he’d expected. He tells the leaders thank you. I think I like grateful Aymeric. When can he thank ME again? Nanamo asks me to support Raubahn after she leaves the throne. I guess I can’t say no to her. She is happy and takes a drink, and then she dies. In pain. Great. Raubahn hears it all the way downstairs. GREAT. If HE hates me I’m in trouble. But the first one in the room is Television. (Convenient!) He pretends to be all upset, and blames JoJo and says to “arrest this viper.” Your mama, Television. JoJo doesn’t even get to protest. WEAK.
Alphinaud gets cornered in a back room, because apparently nearly everybody loyal to him has been trapped, and the backstabbers have also taken control of the Hall of Justice 2.0. Are we gonna get totally screwed in every headquarters we occupy? I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND, YUYUHASE.
Everybody else keeps eating until damn Television walks in and tells Aymeric to go home, because the dragons have surprise-attacked. The Man tries to arrest Thancred and uses Lahabread as his reason. Thancred, unlike JoJo, ain’t having it. Television comes and lies on me in front of everybody. Ilberd drags me in and throws me on the floor, and I just take it silently like I’m a useless chick in a bad movie. Television runs his mouth some more. I could SIT on you and end this! We get to watch Raubahn’s heart break... and since Television refuses to quit mocking the poor woman who did nothing to deserve any of this, we also get to watch him get chopped in half. GOOD. Rest in piss, you little gremlin. I’m just disappointed there’s no blood.
His next target is that irritatingly smug Lolorito. Yes please! Oh, no, fake bro Ilberd gets in the way and cuts off his friend’s arm. Bastard sold out and killed Her Grace himself, and he has to rub it in in the worst way. I want to reach through the screen and punch him harder than I did Television! So now the Flame General’s heart breaks and his rage rises for the second time in five minutes. He fights with his other arm, and cuts the bonds on the meat puppet that is JoJo (I don’t claim her any more, if I wanted a character like this I’d play a bad otome game) before asking everybody to GTFO and clear their names. But what about YOU? What will YOU do, General? You’re the one with the righteous rage, and Twelve know we need that!
Thancred shows up and says he’s found a secret tunnel out. Yda and Papalymo get a cutscene in which they are BAMFs as they hold off the crooked soldiers. But then the crooks follow us into the not-so-secret tunnel. Thancred and Y’shtola are also BAMFs as they fight. Y’shtola asks somebody named Mhitra for forgiveness before she finishes a spell that will make the tunnel collapse. Since SOMEBODY has rendered JoJo unable to hear Hydaelyn, Minfilia receives the message and tells her she’s got to stay behind with everyone else getting screwed over. She says a little bit of crap about hope. Minfilia, what good is hope if JoJo has neither allies nor backbone? Every primal fight she’s engaged in only happened because others were there to help her reach said primal.
(Also, at some point there’s a cutscene where Lolorito is walking down a hallway and the lady-in-waiting walks up behind him. She doesn’t speak one word, or make any other moves. Nobody does much of anything.)
JoJo exits the tunnel, and shortly after is found by Alphinaud and a random Lalafell, who suggests everyone get away from the city. A dude with a wagon, the same dude from the beginning of the game, offers them a ride. He says Alisaie did something useful and asked him to give her brother a ride. Alphunaud at least has the maturity to admit he’s totally screwed us all with a sabotender dipped in acid. If JoJo ever is herself again, this friendship is SO over. The random Lalafell takes off his helmet and introduces himself. His name is Pipin, he’s the second most important dude in the Immortal Flames, and he dragged his butt back home just in time to save Alphinaud from the dudes who trapped him. Also, he’s the kid Raubahn adopted, and plans to go help his dad when he’s gotten shut of these two.
Pipin and these two get dropped at Black Brush, where I take cute Miri away from JoJo because right now I don’t feel she deserves anyone that lovable. Come on out, Midgardsormr. Also, fuck you. Pipin attempts to pump up JoJo’s ego, letting her know his father had a lot of good things to say about her. But he admits this is not how he thought they were going to meet. Bruh, me neither! Now Cid shows up. I’m still disappointed in him for not letting the Knight of the Slappable Face get Darwin’d in the World of Darkness, plus the three of us together are giving me flashbacks to that terrible time with the fake inquisitor and Garuda and all the crystals I had to hunt down. Cid has the airship, so Alphinaud says to go to Winterfell, whose government won’t allow foreign forces. What are you now, an exchange student? Goodbye, Pipin. Sorry the universe shat on your dad so badly. He’s a good man who, like his boss, deserved none of this.
Cid drops the two brainiacs off in the snow, and JoJo nods to him before he flies off. Alphinaud wants to speak with Haurchefant. After all the loss and betrayal and bullshit, I’m not interested in someone staring at my tits on top of that, but JoJo quietly nods like she always does. This game is making me want to turn off my computer and go play as a Renegade Shepard. (But I’ll still hug Tali. I have to support my girl. And I’ll still cure the genophage because I love my boy Wrex. Okay, looks like I’ll play a Renegon Shepard.)
#playing ARR#MSQ#MSQ spoilers#I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS#I WANT MY SQUAD BACK#I WANT MY SPINE BACK#I WANT MY ILBERD BACK... I guess he never was my Ilberd#FAKE BRO#I feel like Diana at the end of the first Wonder Woman movie#I never got to hug Nanamo#rest in peace Your Grace#I do not want to be stuck in a dragon infested frozen hell at the mercy of a man who has made it clear he wants to sleep with my character#this means Laurentius did me wrong TWICE! I’ll kill him!#oh and rest in piss Television
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In honor of One Last Step’s anniversary, I want to do a bit of a thinkpiece on it - in part for the possibility that breaking down my process might help other XIV writers, and in part because it’s been increasingly meaningful for me to reflect on, especially as I’ve stepped back from large-scale works like Livvy Plays Final Fantasy.
One Last Step might be one of the most personal pieces of fanfic I’ve ever written and shared! It reflects not only the moments that have been the most impactful for me as an individual throughout my time playing XIV (for better and for worse), but it also manages to speak to my own anxieties about growing up, about being a creator, and about becoming an increasingly public figure.
Hopefully the below thoughts will help others write similar works!
Self-Inserts
I’ve been very open from 2.0 launch about Livvy Ahtynwyb Eynskyfwyn being a self-insert, and what that means in the grand scheme of how I interact with the world of Hydaelyn through her character. Warrior of Light characters and self-insert characters have traditionally gotten a lot of backlash throughout XIV’s history; in my experience, there’s much less stigma for it now than there used to be, but I still see players say things like “I worry about what other people would think if I did [X].”
When it comes to how I write Ahtyn, probably the best analogy I can make comes from Shadowbringers itself: If I’m the “original” me, then Ahtyn is a facet, reflection, or “shard” of me. She’s taken on a personality of her own, metaphorically speaking, and is different from me in many ways... but I try to always write Ahtyn with my own values and experiences in mind. This takes just as much work as writing any other original character, because I’m constantly parsing through the question “How does this really make me feel, and why?” whenever something happens in the game or in an original plot. Being honest about where those emotions come from has had me build up a muscle of writing character reactions that are based on real feelings - and it’s undoubtedly improved how I write all my characters and their emotions across the board.
If that rationalization for having a self-insert makes sense to you, then feel free to use it for yourself if you ever make a XIV character that’s inspired by you.
Structure
For One Last Step, I decided to focus each passage heavily on the three major motifs that have defined Ahtyn’s journey as much as they defined her Amaurotine predecessor’s. In the end, each of the passages that made it into One Last Step fall into at least one of three categories:
Stories
Lone heroes; the mantle of heroism
Falling; being at the top of a cliff
I kept to this pretty rigidly, and I think it’s the biggest thing that makes One Last Step work. Some friends have told me that they recognized the consistency in the tone and the narrative progression without guessing any part of what it was all leading up to, which is super cool to me.
In some ways, One Last Step builds off the structure of A Kingdom Worthy of You, an Ashelia Riot piece of similar importance published in February 2018. They’re both split up into short passages that portray events of deep significance to the characters and their progression. You can also see this structure in Godhands, though those chapters are published separately and in non-chronological order but tell the same story throughout. (Please read Godhands.)
I like this structure for a few reasons, not least of all because when I write, focusing on ten small things helps take me out of my own head more so than focusing on one much bigger thing. (I’m also weak for anything with modernist quirks, especially a displacement of time.) Solidifying this structure with One Last Step has also been helpful to get me thinking about what gets left out of the things I write as much as what gets included, and to know when each passage, idea, or work has reached its natural conclusion. It’s an exercise in quality over quantity, especially when it comes to fitting all of the pieces together in a way that makes sense.
What Didn’t Make It In
There are literally three moments in all of XIV that have affected me the player but didn’t make it into this piece: Wilred’s death, Fordola’s interrogation, and Ba’Gamnan’s vision of the player as Noah van Gabranth.
At the time One Last Step was published, no matter how pivotal of a moment Wilred’s death is to my relationship with this game, I had trouble justifying fitting that moment into the piece. My efforts to include it felt stifled, because the only way I could quickly connect it back to one of the three above categories (the concept of “lone heroes”) was through Ahtyn expressing guilt that she was the one to set Wilred on the path that led to his death. But that guilt felt too focused on Ahtyn’s own sadness, as opposed to the tragedy and horror of Wilred’s fate, and he deserved a reflection that focused more thoroughly on his circumstances. I chose instead to focus on Ilberd at a couple points throughout One Last Step, a character who honestly has much more in common with Ahtyn than Wilred does.
Fordola’s interrogation is probably one of the most haunting scenes in the game for me, personally, in part because of parallels to my own family history. I’ve written about that here. I probably could have spent some time really digging deep with an in-character introspection of Fordola’s comments on heroism, and how Ahtyn keeps going despite everything; in the end, though, it would have had a lot of the same takeaways in Ahtyn’s conversations with Ryne. The only other part where I alluded to my personal family history is in the passage featuring Ahtyn’s sister Grehswys.
The Gabranth scene was an easy rejection: it happens from Ba’Gamnan’s perspective, and Ahtyn herself never knows about it, so it wouldn’t make sense to include it. In general, I wish there could have been more Return to Ivalice featured in the entire piece, but I’m still working out the specifics of Ahtyn’s and Hrjt’s adventures in Orbonne, and I didn’t want to write myself into any corners down the road.
What I think has been most incredible has been seeing how the piece keeps gaining new relevance in a post-5.0 world: details as significant as Ahtyn’s Allagan armor showing up at the Seat of Sacrifice or as small as G’raha having done his thesis on Allagan folklore has made me realize just how much I got right with this, even with no way of knowing it.
What I Learned
TL;DR:
You, too, can write a great self-insert character.
“Write what you know” can be as simple as sharing your own emotional gut reactions.
Crystallize “the point” of your piece and cut out everything else.
See also: Know when to stop just as much as how to keep going.
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The Honey Pot - Ch. 28 - Sting Operation
The universe must hate you.
To make you see the monstrous form of Varis bear down upon his equally monstrous son, eyes wide as they turn to you in shock. To make you feel the vibrations of the monster's roars as his facility burns and falls around him. To have you hear the sound of Elidibus whisking you away from your love, of dark magic engulfing you, rendering you unable to leap from his arms to let you be buried with him.
Even as you feel Elidibus’ form real and whole and warm against you, you have never felt so cold.
Wondering if there was anything you could have done differently.
Wondering where it all went wrong…
Your heart beats malms a minute in your chest. There was no calming it down it seemed, drumming away furiously to its own beat as you watched Hien’s mercenaries shuffle around Cid’s compound as if they’ve been here before. Armed to the teeth, they were obviously top of the line, trained in the Doman art of the ninja, not one bit of skin exposed saved for openings in their helms to see through.
In truth, you couldn’t help but feel a little out of place. Watching everyone suit up definitely gave you feelings of nostalgia, of being in the academy each morning, baby faced and ready to take on the world. Even though there were a handful of them given that this was to be a small and hopefully quiet operation, you were no less impressed by the obvious skill that rolled off them in waves.
You couldn’t help but wonder at why you weren’t getting suited up with them, granted you had never needed any special armor. Maybe they thought you didn’t really need to, given that you proved nearly invincible against the average man.
Dressed from head to toe in black, you've forgone your usual pantsuit for something a bit more ergonomic. Black leggings engineered by Ironworks, the material has metal fibers woven within, making it hard to rip or tear. Your long sleeved shirt is made of a similar material, rounding out your entirely practical look. Deciding to pack light, your toolbelt only has a small handgun sitting in its holster.
Weaving through the busy space, you step into the connecting room where Cid sits before a wall of screens, several birds eye shots of the Aetherochemical Research Facility lined up as his hands type furiously at the keyboard. Merlwyb stands at his back with her arm resting upon the back of his chair, looking at the monitors with great interest. “We’re positive that Varis is holed up in there, right now?” She asks, fist clenching and unclenching in a show of nerves.
“For the last time, Merlwyb, yes.” Cid sounds as if he barely restrained himself from groaning, still typing at keys. “I have confirmed that he has not left the facility since exactly 21:08 this evening and shows no signs of leaving any time soon. Though I must warn you, Ilberd arrived at about 21:30. I assume they are meeting for whatever reason as the election nears.” he grumbles, dropping his focus for a moment. Swiveling in his chair, he faces the two of you, clearly worried, but ready for the fight to come.
“I will be supporting you with as much intel as possible.” Looking to Merlwyb, he continues, “As we already discussed, I’ve already got it set up to record anything your body suit sees to store back here at the base for us to compile for evidence later. This goes for all of Yugiri’s men as well.” Looking to you, he cannot hide his concern. “Honey…”
“Cid, don’t even think of trying to dissuade me.” You warn, trying your hardest to not give into his distressed expression.
“I know, it’s just,” he growls in frustration, “Are you sure you want to do this? You’re pregnant for Nymeia’s sake--”
“I will avoid combat, as promised. I’m only there to start the shut down sequence, and get out. It should be an easy job now that you’ve figured out where the base is right?” You urge, trying to change the subject.
He sees right through you, but takes your bait anyway. “Yes. With Zenos pinpointing the exact location, it took some overnight crunching, but I was able to work past Varis’ walls and get a rough map of the place using my own seismic sensors. It’s downloaded onto your phone.” Running a hand through his hair, you watch as he stands to his feet and yanks you into a fierce hug, his biceps flexing with the force of how he crushes himself to you.
“Please come back.” he whispers, just for you. In it you can hear the fear of losing another loved one.
You hold him just as tight.
“You know I will.”
Giving one last squeeze, he briskly wipes at tears in the corners of his eyes before sitting back down in his chair. “Best to get started. We don’t want him to get away from us.”
Nodding, you and Merlwyb leave Cid to begin overseeing the logistics of the operation, heading back into the room where all of the ninja are seemingly ready to go. A small auri woman leads them, Yugiri you remember, giving a slight bow to Merlwyb as the two of you come to a stop before her. “We are ready to leave when you are, Chief Merlwyb.”
“Lord Hien is in hiding?” Merlwyb asks, reaching for her pistol, Annihilator, and putting it in her holster.
“Indeed he is. Already we have noticed that what spies Varis uses to keep monitor our lord have begun to realize they cannot find him. No doubt they will let Varis know he has disappeared.” Yugiri continues as she brings her own mask over her face. Nodding, Merlwyb gives one last look around the room, taking a steadying breath.
“Then we move.”
The night only gets darker, and to your luck it is also cloudy. It’s a little uncomfortable due to how muggy it feels outside, summer in full swing and not helping with the humidity at all.
The cars you had taken had been left a great distance away from the facility, the rest of the trip spent trekking on foot, doing your best to not draw any unnecessary attention to yourselves. With Cid’s technology, you remained as cloaked as the facility itself once did.
The ninja didn’t make a single sound as they moved through the forest. Not a single twig breaking, or accidentally having a branch snagged on their clothes. You felt like an amateur in their presence, especially when you finally reached the outside of the compound.
Yugiri uses a series of symbols to dispatch her men, all of them seeming to fade into mist as they disappeared into the shadows. You had heard of Doman legends of the art of the ninja, thinking them only myth and fairy tales, but had no idea it was an art that was still passed down. Granted, after being a literal descendant of ancient beings, you supposed there was nothing that was impossible.
The sounds of the ninjas taking out the guards is silent as they come, not even hearing the guards’ bodies collapse to the ground. Just faintly do you make out the ninja carrying them deeper into the forest surrounding the facility, Yugiri able to communicate orders with nothing more than her hands. You couldn’t deny that you felt in awe at seeing them work, even as Yugiri seemed to materialize beside you.
“The guards around the outer perimeter have been disposed of.” She informs you and Merlwyb, who nods sharply before turning her gaze to the front gate where the remaining security check stands.
“So far, so good.” Merlwyb breathes, losing some of her tension. “Are your men prepared?” She asks, reaching for the gun in her holster.
“More than ready, Chief Bloefhiswyn.” Yugiri responds, vanishing into shadow.
“And you, rookie. Are you ready?” she asks, giving you one last look, almost as if she is hoping you’ll be ready to back out.
“I was born ready, Chief.” you nod, anticipation coursing through your veins. “Let’s get this show on the road.”
With that the ninja quickly take out the security at the main gate, doing away with the guards and taking them to be hidden with the others. As you run toward the entrance, you hear Cid’s voice crackle in your ear piece that he’s got control of the cameras, and to any security inside, nothing looks out of place.
The gate rolls open along the rocky gravel, allowing you and Merlwyb to make a run for it as you are joined by Yugiri and her ninja. Reaching inside your shirt, you begin to pull out the card Zenos had given you, praying that Varis was a little too caught up in his campaign mess to remember to deactivate it. You had no clue if Zenos had tried to speak to his father at all since he had rescued you, or how Varis took his son’s betrayal for that matter. Whispering a silent prayer, you nearly slam the card against the security device against the door, your heart beat stilling in the split second it takes for the device to scan.
A small chirp sounds along with the clicking of the lock. It works.
Breathing an audible sigh of relief, you wrench the door open, once again thankful that Varis really believed a little too much in his own hype. Varis most likely bet on his son not having the gall to try and take him down, and perhaps thought you would want to keep yourself off the front lines.
But there was no way you would not take that asshole down yourself.
The ninja quickly silence the guards at the booth, undoing the lock that opens the door that leads into the facility. You all shuffle inside, whipping out your phone to take a look at your maps. “Cid, we’re inside.”
“Good, good. I’ve got eyes on you all still. They still haven’t noticed you all yet.” comes his voice through your earpiece. “If you can get to the control room, I can get a more detailed map to get a look at every room in the facility. I only have scans from underground sensors I used, but getting access to the mainframe will allow me more detail.” Even through the earpiece you can hear him typing away at the keyboard. “I’ll take control of each camera as you pass by as not to arouse suspicion. From my scans, my guess is the control room for these vats might be nearly two floors down from the main entrance.”
“Thanks, Cid. We’ll keep you posted.” Looking to the rest of the team, you make sure they heard the same thing as you and begin your journey to find the control room. On the surface, the facility does seem to only be two floors deep, and from your one trip here that was all you got to see. As you snuck along the perimeter you could sure enough see cameras blink on and off as you dove past them, Cid keeping you out of sight just long enough to try and make your way to the control room. There were thankfully few guards or even employees around, most likely having gone home for the day leaving only the overnight crew.
Reaching a pair of double doors against the far wall, you press your keycard up to the security device, happy as it still seems to work and allows you all inside. Yugiri quickly silences the two employees working within, two quick chops to the neck knocking them unconscious. Heading over to the array of buttons you pull out a small disc-like object from your pocket, slamming it onto the control board, watching as small, robotic legs sprout from its sides, embedding itself into the board. The Ironworks logo flashes on its top, and you can hear Cid’s laugh in your ear. “Excellent work, Honey. I’m in.”
The relief in the room is palpable, even as Yugiri is shoving the two guards into a broom closet. “Give me a few minutes to find you guys the fastest route to where you need to go.”
“Thanks Cid, just keep us posted,”
Yugiri’s eyes widen as she turns toward the door. “Someone comes this way!”
Just then the doors fly open, the sound of guns cocking freezing you in place. “One traitor helping another...why should I be surprised?”
Turning around, the small high is broken as you turn to the door, finding Livia and Rhitahtyn blocking the way. Dressed in their usual suits, they look upon you scornfully as they point their guns directly at you. “I knew I should’ve killed you when I had the chance.” Livia hisses, her flaming red hair neatly pulled into a bun.
Scoffing, you can’t help but laugh. “Kill me? Wasn’t it Zenos who told you that you didn’t have hopes of beating me, even on your best day?”
Livia’s face twists angrily as she hisses. “I wouldn’t have had to do it honorably. I could’ve easily stabbed you in your sleep.”
Your own face shifts into an angry snarl while you try not to make any sudden moves as you turn to face her fully. “Not surprised a Garlean bitch couldn’t beat me in a fair fight.” You spit back, flexing your knuckles. You were hoping things didn’t have to get dirty. You promised you’d avoid conflict if at all possible. “Listen. I don’t know what you came here hoping to do. I’m guessing you saw us sneak our way in here when we weren’t looking. I know you two have got your heads pretty far up Varis’ ass, but surely even you can see that murdering innocent civilians to help his campaign trail is going too far.”
Both of their faces pinch in confusion, causing you to look back at them in shock. Stupefied, you can’t help but ask them, “...he didn’t tell you?”
“What on earth are you talking about you little liar?” Livia hisses, cocking her gun. “Lord Varis would not murder civilians! It was a failed assassination attempt on Lord Hien by another gang! He couldn’t uphold security at his own rally and got the chief of police killed for it!”
Your guard lowers at the sheer absurdity of the situation. “Are you really going to believe such a fucking, blatant lie?” You nearly shriek, glancing at both of them in disbelief. “Varis slaughtered innocent civilians! Blew up part of a district just so he could smear Lord Hien’s name! There were women and children there!”
“My lord would do no such thing!” Rhitahtyn bellows, reaching for his own gun. “We have no reason to listen to the lies of a traitor, the one who turned even my lord’s own son against him.”
“I didn’t do anything to Zenos. As you can see, he’s not even here!” You genuinely couldn’t believe what you were hearing. At this point if Varis somehow revealed to you that he had secretly hypnotized half of his closest staff, you’d believe him. There was no way that two of his favorite bodyguards were this ignorant of his wrong doings.
Or was Varis worried that even he couldn’t manipulate their moral compass?
You think back to the look on Gaius’ face when he had burst in when Varis was about to force himself on you. From what you knew of Gaius, no one believed in Varis more than he. He genuinely believed that everything Varis was doing was for the better of Kugane.
But even you could see the disbelief on his face when he saw your tear stained face, body pinned beneath Varis. You knew he had heard your screams from down the hall. You could remember the hesitation, the doubt on his face as he saw the true side of his lord, even as he barked orders at him to take you away.
Varis had not gotten away with things as long as he had solely because he was smart.
He was a master manipulator.
And when you refused to be manipulated by his schemes, he forced his will upon you.
“He’s using you.” You laugh bitterly. “He’s using you two. Can’t you see that? Do you really think this is all so he can make Kugane better? Do you really think he’s got any special plans for you? That you’re not disposable to him just like the rest?”
Hesitation shines in their eyes for just a moment, the two of them looking to each other momentarily. Facing you once again, you watch as Livia slowly lowers her gun, letting you release a breath you hadn’t known you were holding.
You think she’s ready to listen until she reaches for her phone, yelling into its speaker. “Intruders! Intruders! Lock down the facility! Alert Lord Varis!”
The fluorescent lights turn a deathly red as alarms blare throughout the whole facility. You can hear doors slamming shut from outside of the control room, the shuffling of feet as surely more security guards are being summoned. Merlwyb curses under her breath behind you, and you fix Livia with a piercing glare. “You idiot.” you seethe, raising your fists to fight.
Just as Livia raises her gun ready to fire, two of Yugiri’s ninjas pounce on her and Rhitahtyn, the two of them barely able to fend them off as they burst through the doors back onto the factory floor. Panic ensues as the lights continue to flash, biting down harshly on your lip as you follow everyone back out the control room.
“Whole place is going on lock down, Honey--” Cid’s voice crackles in your ear, “We’re gonna have to pray that Zenos’ card still works even in lockdown. It’ll take me some time to begin decrypting the code to get access to the facility again.”
“We’ll find a way, Cid.” Merlwyb pipes up, loading her gun as she grabs you by the hand. More security guards burst through the doors, guns raised. Yugiri is on them in a heartbeat, knives drawn as she takes them out one by one while her own ninja deal with Livia and Rhitahtyn. The entire scene is chaotic as Merlwyb fires with the accuracy that landed gave her gun its name.
Disoriented, you barely get to get both feet on the ground long enough as Merlwyb forcibly drags you along. “Chief,”
“No confrontation out of you, remember?” She growls, pushing through an opening through the fighting to a door that leads to the lower levels of the facility. “You made a promise and I’m making sure you’re keeping it. You understand me?” Tugging on the card roughly even though it’s still looped on the chain around your neck, she gets you close enough to unlock the door and shove you through, making sure it slams shut behind you.
“But Yugiri,”
“Is a trained killer, if you haven’t noticed. She understands her role and we have ours to play.” She urges, tugging you along. “Cid, we’re in trouble.”
“I can see that.”
“Got any quick routes down to the bottom of this dump?!” You both duck as you hear gunshots whizz past your heads, breaking into a run as you run down the hall a little faster.
“I’m trying, I’m trying--” his voice sounds as panicked as you feel. “Make a left. You’ll need the keycard again, but there should be a spiral stairwell. It goes down nearly fifteen floors, but if you’ve got some decent balance, you may be able to gain some ground if you slide down the rails.”
“Roger.”
Following his instructions, you make an immediate left, your keycard ready this time as you quickly press it to the device and Merlwyb uses her weight to push the door open, releasing your hand as she once again puts her gun away. “I’m not fond of heights but we need to gain some ground.” She grumbles, swinging one long leg over the rail. “How on earth did they see us? Shouldn’t they have been guarding Varis?”
“No...I’m so stupid.” you mumble, following suit as you swing one leg over the rail, lying on your front and clutching the rail with both hands. “Cid had said Ilberd had arrived at the facility, and Varis trusts Ilberd enough to protect him. They were probably in another part of the upper levels.”
“Pretty sloppy of us,” Merlwyb sighs, but says nothing else.You watch as she finally lets gravity take hold, controlling her descent as best as possible right as the door you had come through bursts open. Wasting no more time you loosen your grip and begin to slide down the rail, wincing as more bullets fly haphazardly past you. Reaching for your own gun, you fire a few rounds back at the guards to help deter them from following you down the stairwell.
“Honey, watch out!”
Before you can turn to Merlwyb, she’s already tossed a live grenade back up the stairwell, the Ironworks logo shining brightly as it clinks upon landing above you. Loosening your grip more, you hasten your descent just as it detonates, cutting off the pursuit of the guards if only for a little while.
Your hands burn from how fast you’re moving, but you’re putting distance between you and your assailants just as you hoped. While outwardly you seem as calm as can be, your heart is thumping in your chest as if it’s trying to free itself from its cage. As usual, thinking on your feet has never been your strong suit and with so much at stake, you can’t help but feel like the walls are closing in on you bit by bit.
“You should slow down, you’ll reach a safe floor soon.” Cid calls in your ear, so you start to slow your descent as the facility grows noticeably cooler now that you’re deeper underground. You have no idea how you’re going to get out of here when you’re several malms below sea level, but even if you’re buried alive, it’ll have been from doing the right thing.
Hands stinging, you and Merlwyb dismount from your makeshift elevator, stepping quietly to the door. She peeks through the single window carefully, checking the hallway to see if the coast is clear. “You’ve still got about two more floors to go down before you reach the main reactor. That’s what Zenos must’ve been talking about. It’s powering the whole facility off aether itself.” Cid speaks again, not sounding any less clearer despite how far underground you are. “If you can turn them off, look at them long enough for me to get some pictures, you guys can get out of there. It seems like the guards haven’t pegged your location yet. There’s a hidden elevator that will take you straight back to the top. Get in, and get out of there.”
Nodding to one another, Merlwyb quietly pushes the door open, gun drawn as she checks both sides of the hallway for any would-be guards. Seeing no one, she motions for you to follow and you stick close behind her, heels clacking against the metal floors as you run past several doors. The halls are cold and unfeeling, and you idly wonder if this was the same place where Zenos was experimented on. If this is where you were held before he came to rescue you.
All the doors are bolted shut, but you have no time to peek inside anyway. Zenos’ words of the horrors of his father’s experiments haunt you, stilling your hand from thinking to unlock one of them for fear of what you might find inside.
“Look, another stairwell.” Merlwyb calls, pressing up against the wall as she checks the corners, once again motioning for you to follow her lead. “We’re almost there, Honey. We’re about to have the bust of the century.”
Racing down the stairs, energy seems to hit you square in the chest, the feel of something otherworldly setting your hairs on edge as the stairwell begins to open wide. Merlwyb seems otherwise unaffected, but you know you’re not crazy.
At the bottom lies a single closed door, bright light cutting through the otherwise dark and dank facility. The air goes from cool to warm in seconds, and the sound of many machines whirring and spinning reach your ears. Swallowing, you hold up the card to the door, relieved as it chirps once more, granting you entrance to the next room.
The energy in the air feels as if it smacks you in the chest, surrounding your very being. A giant reactor that looks as if it were out of a Sci-Fi movie shines brightly with glowing, blue aether, spinning and churning with enough force to be a heat source unto itself. Another walkway surrounds the perimeter, with stairs leading to the floor of the reactor. It all looks so very surreal, that you and Merlwyb can do nothing but stare in awe for a few moments.
“Are you seeing this, Cid?” Merlwyb finally asks, beginning to take steps around the walkway.
“Crystal fucking clear.” He chimes in, resent coating his voice. “My father’s research, powering this hellhole. What I would give to see it burn to the ground.”
You silently examine the swirling aether, something deep within you calling to the mass of energy you see before you. Something about the sight fills you with a deep sadness, of a loss you know you have yet to experience, but feel all the same. Almost against your will, you begin to make your way to the closest staircase, feet carrying you to the mass of energy. Your very soul feels drawn to it, disturbed by how you feel a turbulence within, matching the chaotic flow of aether within the reactor.
Free us…
Gasping, you clap a hand over your mouth as tears spring to your eyes.
“Honey! Get down!”
Turning around, you just barely miss a bullet meant for you, spotting a familiar face by the doorway you had come in. Your eyes narrow into slits as they land on Ilberd, smirking as if he’s got you right where he wants you. “Honey...strange seein’ ya here.” he laughs with a sleazy grin, cocking the gun to load another shot. “Thought to save Lord Varis the trouble of findin’ ya, eh? Awfully considerate of ya.”
“You wouldn’t mind telling me where the old bastard is, would you? I’ve got a bone to pick wit’ him.” You taunt back, turning to slowly face him.
“He’s occupied with other business at the moment,” Ilberd growls, aiming the gun directly for your heart. “Told me to come get you under control so he and you could have a nice chat later.”
Out of the corner of your eye you see Merlwyb move the slightest bit. “I’m afraid I can’t stay too long.” you huff, making sure to hold his attention. Flipping your hair, you cross your arms across your chest you can see him become visibly angrier at how you’re not intimidated by him at all, which is all the distraction you need.
Quick as a whip, Merlwyb fires a round at Ilberd, managing to hit him square in the shoulder. His gun misfires near your feet and you spring into action, quickly climbing back up to the main level of the walkway and catching up with Merlwyb.
“The elevator is just around the bend of the walkway on the wall. Hurry!” Cid yells, in your ear, your legs carrying you as fast as possible along the path. You duck as another shot barely misses you and Merlwyb, Ilberd growling far behind you as the two of you round the bend. Drawing your own gun you fire a few rounds back at him to try and slow him down. You can see the doors housing the elevator straight ahead, yanking the card from your neck ready to throw it at the security device ahead of time if it means the doors will open sooner.
“Get back here!” Ilberd roars behind you, firing another shot.
“Honey, hurry!” Merlwyb yells as you skid to a stop, slamming the card against the security device. The elevator slides open and Merlwyb rushes inside.
Free us…
Before you can enter, you find yourself looking back to that reactor of swirling energy, unable to resist the pull of the aether before you. Of whatever is in there crying out to you for salvation.
Turning to Merlwyb, you purse your lips and step from the elevator.
“Honey?”
Reaching inside, you quickly hit the button that will send her to the top floor.
“Honey!” Giving her one good shove to throw her off balance, you keep her from dragging you back in with her, giving her a grim smile as the doors close.
“See you top side, Chief.” you wave, listening for the elevator to begin its ascent back toward the surface. You take your earpiece out before her or Cid can begin to scream in your ear. Dropping it to the floor, you crush it beneath your heel, turning to face Ilberd as he finally catches up with you, gun still raised.
“Goin’ the noble route, eh? Or have ya changed yer mind about seein’ Lord Varis?” Ilberd questions, gun still in hand.
“I’m staying behind to burn this place to the ground.” Gesturing to the reactor, you let your rage fill you. “As soon as I walked in here, I felt such sorrow. I felt so incredibly disturbed. I could hear people crying out to me,” you nearly choke up, but press forward. “I can feel them. The souls of all those experimented on...of the ancient that gave birth to Zenos. Their souls are not at peace, and neither will mine be if I don’t set this place on fire!”
“Hearin’ voices?” Ilberd balks, edging into a chuckle. “Goin’ mad, huh? I swear you descendants--” he’s not even given the chance to finish the sentence as you deck him in the face, sending him skidding across the walkway. You throw yourself atop him, wrenching his gun from his hand and tossing it elsewhere to where he won’t find it any time soon. “Get off me you bitch!”
“Not until you pay for killing Raubahn!” You snap, socking him in the jaw one more time before he manages to throw you off him, your back slamming into the rails of the walkway. Your own gun flies from your hand from the force of your fall, slipping out of sight. Grunting, you quickly get your feet to dodge his kick for your head, bringing your fists up to guard as he begins to fight.
Ilberd was clearly trained, giving you very few openings to land another hit. With the walkway being narrow, it left you little room to try and get a different angle on him, adding to your mounting frustration. While he was not as big as Zenos, he was still bulky, but made up for it by being insanely quick.
“I don’t have time to do this forever, little girl.” He seethes, throwing another punch toward your head but you block him easily enough. “Shoulda killed you when I had the chance. You still owe me quite a few men.”
Brows furrowed in confusion, you find yourself too curious to ignore his bait. “What are you talking about?”
“You tellin’ me you don’t remember years ago, how you murdered a ton of men in cold blood?” He asks incredulously. “We got wind of a lil’ ancient girl hiding out in some shitty apartment. Lord Varis gave me the clear to try and sniff her out.” Throwing a hard punch, you nearly miss the chance to block it, skidding back on your feet from the force. “Sent some of my best men to ensure they nabbed ya. Only to find that little blonde girl went and hid you somewhere my men couldn’t find.”
“One of ‘em was smart enough to try and not leave empty handed, and took the blonde girl as consolation for Lord Varis. But then you…” he growls, giving you a nasty kick to your stomach, sending you rolling to the floor. “You leapt out your hiding spot and murdered all my men, screaming like a banshee. Every police report said you killed every single one of those men without mercy.”
You dodge his foot as he tries to stomp on your head, rolling under the railing and dropping to the floor below, tucking into a roll so you don’t break your legs. “Am I supposed to feel sorry for men who came with the intent to kidnap me and hand me to their crazy ass boss?! “I was doing the world a favor by killing those men.” You roar as you watch him leap down to the same level as you, his sclera going black, irises going red.
The Resonant.
“You’re gonna regret sayin’ that.” He whispers.
Just like Zenos, he’s insanely fast, too fast for normal eyes to keep up with. However, he’s still slower, lacking Zenos’ incredible speed. For what he lacks in speed, he makes up for in sheer power, blocking one punch of his making you cry out in pain. Backing away from him you clutch your hand, praying that none of the bones within are broken. I’m in trouble, you think. So much for no confrontation.
“You better hope there’s something of you left for me to even give Lord Varis.” Ilberd threatens, cracking his knuckles with a smirk.
“Bullshit,” you scoff, shaking the pain from your hand. You can still feel everything. That’s a good sign at least. “Much as he hates my guts he wouldn’t suffer to lose such good research material...not when I have his lovely grandson growing inside me right now.” You can’t help but taunt. It’s a huge gamble, but you’re hoping he buys it.
“Still holdin’ on to the bastard, are ya?” Ilberd grins, cracking the joints in his neck. “An easy fix. One good punch and it’s good as dead. Then Varis can give Zenos a little brother--”
Snagging him by the hair, you bring his face to your knee, uncaring of the bloody mess of his nose breaking on your shin. Your tattoo glows brightly on the back of your neck as you slam Ilberd into the floor, hard enough to feel the vibrations in your feet. You move to crush his head beneath your foot but he rolls out the way, brushing blood from his face, eyes redder than before.
“I’d rather die than let that monster put his hands on me again.” You snarl, feeling the power of the Echo rush through your veins as you pursue Ilberd, putting yourself on even ground with him at last. You’re both blurs to anyone who would watch with normal eyes, chest heaving as you fight to live, fight for both of you to live.
Even with the Echo’s help, Ilberd is not going down easy. Whatever the Resonant has done to him has made him not just stronger and faster, but somehow extremely resilient. It feels like hitting stone, hurting your hands and wearing you down much faster than intended. Ilberd seems to notice your frustration, grinning as he manages to slam you into the ground. “Thought your lil’ ‘gift’ was gonna give you the upper hand, huh?” He cackles, kicking you roughly in the ribs.
You can feel something crack, whimpering in pain as you try to will the strength in your limbs to stand. “Bet you only fought Zenos’ Resonant, huh?” Ilberd continues, taking measured steps toward you. “Betcha didn’t think Lord Varis could improve on it, didya? That he could make someone stronger, faster, and tougher.” Crouching down, he snags you by the hair, ignoring your cry of pain as he drags you up to his face. “Why, I feel invincible.” He laughs, spitting in your face for good measure.
Dropping you again, he moves to kick your stomach, but you quickly flip to your side, arms protecting your abdomen. You cry out in agony, praying that he won’t follow through on that threat he made earlier. “Makes you wonder, huh? I sure as hell wasn’t a descendant from an ancient, yet through pure science Varis made me stronger than his own son.” he boasts, pausing his abuse of you to run a hand through his hair. “Doesn’t mean we can’t experiment on ya anyway. We learned so much from Zenos’ mother, no reason we can’t do the same to you.”
You don’t dare mask the absolute loathing you feel in this very moment, this complete disregard for life that this monster before you spews. “You’re sick.” you spit, groaning with the effort to even speak.
“Says who?” He laughs, giving you a nudge with his boot.
Fight.
“Says me.” you cough out, eyes falling closed. Would this really be how it ended?
Fight.
“You’re lucky Lord Varis needs ya alive, bitch.” Ilberd growls, shoving you roughly with his boot to roll you onto your stomach. “Let me take care of business, and we’ll get ya on back to the lab.”
Why do you not fight?!
You would not let it end here.
You did not come this far to let pain stop you. Not when so many people were depending on you.
You would fight.
Strength renewed, your tattoo pulses brightly as the pain becomes an afterthought, Echo induced adrenaline coursing through your body as you leap to your feet and deliver a spinning kick to Ilberd, throwing him off balance. Catching him by the collar before he can fall, you hit him with an uppercut, feeling his teeth clack together from the force of your blow, finishing him off a solid right hook.
With a growl he frees himself from your grip and socks you in the jaw, smirking as he does so, fading as he realizes you haven’t even recoiled in pain. Whatever pain receptors you have are blocked off as you give him a sadistic smirk, eyes crazed as you don’t even bother to peel his fist off your face. Using his shock against him, you grab him by the collar again and flip him over your shoulder, taking great satisfaction in the way his body slams into the ground.
You pursue him like a woman possessed, nimbly dodging his punches and fearlessly blocking his kicks, feeling no pain no matter how hard he kicks. Though Ilberd doesn’t give up, he’s clearly unnerved by your reaction to pain, or rather your lack of reaction. His eyes go wide with fear at your manic smile-- when had you started smiling?
“Cat got your tongue, Ilberd?” you giggle even as you throw him into the ground face first, stomping hard on his arm, grinning like a cat as he cries out in pain as you hear the bone break. “I gotta say, you get to have some really fun battles when you can’t feel pain...not that you’d know that.” You stamp down on his leg, hearing that break too, enjoying his cries of pain far more than you should.
“A friend of mine said I should go to therapy, you know. I should’ve listened. Because I’m getting far too much enjoyment out of this than is healthy.” You titter, stepping over his body, picking up an unbroken arm and wrenching it backward. “What do ya say I break a bone in your body for every year you robbed Raubahn of, huh?”
“S-Spare me…” Ilberd begs, even as you twist his arm painfully.
“Why should I?” You hiss, wrenching his arm from its socket. “You took everything from me.”
“On the contrary…”
You don’t turn in time to dodge a dart landing itself in your arm, blue liquid draining into your bloodstream before you can yank it out. Your eyes land on Varis who drops a small dart gun from his hand, a smirk plastered on his ugly face. “I believe I took everything from you.”
You try to fight against it but you collapse to the ground, the destabilizer making quick work of dumping you on the floor.
Once he’s sure you won’t be going anywhere anytime soon, Varis begins his descent down the stairs to the main floor where you and Ilberd lay immobile. “I have to say, you had me worried for a moment, Honey. Your little ragtag group of misfits almost undid years worth of planning in one day.” He muses, complete with a slow clap. “Hiding the assistant chief of police, managing to convince Garlond to have some backbone, even swiping an access card off my son to let you roam the facility like the wild animal you are…” he sighs, coming to a stop at the base of the stairs. “Why, it's something right out of a commoner movie.”
“My lord,” Ilberd coughs, sounding relieved, “you’ve come.”
“Yes…” Varis drones, beginning his walk toward the two of you again. You watch as he reaches inside his suit jacket and pulls out of a syringe of sickly green fluid, something that makes Ilberd go rigid.
“M-My lord,” he stammers, trying to will strength into his limbs. “P-Please,”
“You had served me well up until this point, Ilberd. And from what I observed, the Resonant has shown significant improvement,” Varis praises, though his expression remains disappointed. “...unfortunately, you also know how I feel about failure.” You watch as Varis kneels slightly and sticks Ilberd with the syringe, injecting him with the unknown fluid. “Believe me when I say it’s not personal, Ilberd.” Varis huffs.
“M-My lord,” Ilberd stutters, but his speech grows slurred. Your eyes widen as you realize just what it was he injected him with. “I can still--”
He doesn’t get to finish his sentence as his body goes deathly still.
Varis continues to look down his nose at Ilberd’s now lifeless body before finally sliding his gaze to you. Surprisingly, he doesn’t look angry or hateful. In fact, he looks rather pleased. “How does it feel, Honey? To have gone through all this trouble only to land yourself in my hands, yet again.”
“Fuck you.” you spit, trying to find the strength to stand up.
Seeing your struggle, he gives a deep laugh, giving you a nudge with his foot. “I’ve learned my lesson this time, my dear. I made sure to make an extra special strain of destabilizer to keep on my person just in case you decided to pay any traitorous visits.”
Stepping around you, he nudges your body once again. “At least you are mostly intact...once your comrades all expelled from my research facility and put on trial to be killed in my new society, I believe I’ll be returning for you and we can pick up where we left off last time.” he grins darkly, kneeling down to brush hair from your face.
“Get away from me!” You scream, tears streaming down your face. He couldn’t win. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Everything had been going so well--
“It’s too late for that now, Honey.” Varis growls, yanking hard on your hair. “Far too late,”
He doesn’t get the chance to finish his sentence as he cries out in pain, clutching his shoulder as he staggers back in pain. Blood leaks from the wound, his eyes searching out whoever landed the shot. “Who’s there?!”
“Your son.”
Zenos steps from the shadow, holding the gun Ilberd had been toting earlier. Unlike his father, he lets loose his rage, blue eyes staring his father down. Tossing the gun to the ground, he continues making his way toward you. He’s dressed as if his father had sent him on a hit, sword strapped to his side. “I’d have shot another for good measure, but unfortunately there was only one round left.”
Somehow that statement only makes Varis smirk, backing away as his son advances. “Oh? And you wasted your one round not making a killing shot?” he cackles. “Because you know your place, my son.”
At that, Zenos visibly hesitates.
You’ve never seen this kind of hesitation in Zenos before. Never heard this tone from Varis before. The tone of a parent disappointed with their child. The hesitation of a child who knows they’ve upset their parents.
“Really, my son, I give you the world as you wished it and this is how you repay me?” Varis grunts, barely able to keep himself upright. “You take the side of this savage? When I had given you life, given you a home...anything you asked for, I gave it. And you repay me like this? Do you want to let me down, my beautiful child? Do you want me to hate you?”
Zenos falters a bit more at that, no longer able to meet his father’s gaze, and suddenly it all becomes crystal clear.
“Don’t listen to him, Zenos.” you wheeze, begging silently for him to meet your eyes. “Look at me. Do not listen to him.”
“Silence, wench!” Varis hisses, gaining enough strength to press his foot to your neck.
“Your father is a master manipulator, Zenos,” you continue, staring hard into his blue eyes. “Anytime you told me you never cared for what he did, that you wanted nothing to do with him...you were lying. He had manipulated you into wanting his approval. His love.”
“I said be quiet!” Varis snarls, pressing his foot down harder. You can see the conflict in Zenos’ eyes, looking between you and his father.
“That’s why you let him experiment on you. Why you killed for him. He lied to you didn’t he? He told you that if you did those things for him, he’d love you, didn’t he?” You press on, voice rising with each question.
You whimper as Varis kneels to grab you by the hair, ugly face twisted in a scowl. “Be quiet! Do not listen to her, Zenos!”
“He never loved you!” You roar, ignoring how Varis’ hands wrap around your throat. “You were always just a tool to him! But I love you, Zenos! I’ve always loved you--” You can’t finish as Varis’ grip on your windpipe begins to constrict, unable to even bring your hands up to pry them off. “Zenos...I...love,”
The pressure on your neck is released as Zenos pries his father off you, your lungs dragging in air desperately as Zenos drags you away from Varis. Pulling the dart from your shoulder he tosses it elsewhere, shifting to hold you in his arms. An immediate sense of safety washes over you as he cradles you close, hesitating for one moment longer, but turning his back on his father.
“Zenos. Zenos!” Varis roars at the retreating back of his son. “I will not allow you to disgrace me this way! I am your father!”
“That may be so,” Zenos calls over his shoulder, still moving forward. “But I have someone who actually loves me, now.”
Varis yells in his rage, forcing himself to stand to his feet. “Z-Zenos,” you murmur, watching as Varis reaches into his suit. “Zenos, we need to run,” you try to urge, watching as his father pulls out a shiny, vial full of red liquid. Zenos turns just in time to see Varis jab the vial into his arm, everything going still for a moment until Varis’ eyes bleed black the two of you watching in horror as Varis stands to his feet with renewed strength. Red pupils laser in on the two of you as Varis laughs madly while his sclera grows black.
“I won’t allow you to leave--” he clutches his throat, all in the room confused into stillness at how warped his voice sounds, watching as he tries to clear his throat. Your eyes widen as his hand begins to bulge and become deformed, growing larger and larger until the phenomena begins to travel up the rest of his arm. “What’s happening--”
Whatever is happening seems to cause a chain reaction, Varis’ body bulging all over the place as he transforms into a hideous monster. His skin turns red as he continues to grow in size, black wings sprouting from his back as huge fangs grow from his teeth. His hand transforms into claws large enough to hold your entire body in their grip, his mouth now big enough to swallow you whole as he finishes his transformation.
“Zenos, we need to leave,” you advise quietly as possible, Zenos nodding as he begins to make a break for the exit.
“No!” Varis’ voice booms, shaking the entire room. Before Zenos can even run a few steps, the shadow of Varis’ arm looms over you, Zenos just barely able to stop his momentum before getting crushed by Varis’ fist. “I will not allow you to leave!” his atrocious voice booms, fist curling to try and strike again.
You shriek as Zenos’ eyes glow red as he activates the Resonant, using his enhanced speed to dodge another blow. With you in his arms it’s still hard to maneuver, Zenos clutching you tight as he tries to make it to the exit.
“I’ll kill you!” Varis roars, slamming a fist against the ground, the shockwave jolting the two of you hard enough that Zenos loses his grip on you and you fall from his arms. “I will not allow you to destroy my life’s work!”
It hurts when you land on the metal floor, praying you don’t have a concussion while you’re at it. Everything still feels intact, but gods if you don’t hurt something fierce. You couldn’t move if you wanted and Varis seems to know it, trying to make a dive for you but stopped by his son who’s finally drawn his sword. Zenos slices a deep gash in the monster, your ears ringing as it lets loose a squeal of pain. “You traitor! After I’ve given you everything!”
“You’ve given me nothing!” Zenos snaps back, dodging a swipe of his father’s spiked tail. “You took everything from me! My bodyguards! My mother!” His golden hair flies behind him, whipping wildly with every movement as he lands on the monster’s back, preparing to run him through until he gets shaken off. You cry out as Varis manages to get ahold of Zenos long enough to slam him into the floor, but a quick swipe of his blade at one of the claws crushing him has Varis reeling back again, right into--
“Zenos, watch out!” You scream, but it’s too late to do anything. You can do nothing but watch as Varis’ horrid body slams into the reactor, causing it to become unstable due to his size. The alarms blare louder before as the glass breaks, the aether trapped within bursting out in all directions. You can feel it rush over your skin, sensitive to it as the energy is returned to the life stream. Even as the alarms grow louder and an automated voice warns of impending meltdown, you feel a sense of peace.
“NO!” Varis bellows, picking up shards of his former reactor in his hands. “My life’s work! My dreams!”
Using this window of distraction, Zenos quickly bounds over to you and scoops you up again, though not as easily as before, visibly exhausted. Making a break for the stairs, you shudder as Varis continues to roar in outrage, finally pulling himself out of his mourning long enough to realize you’re on the move. “I will not allow you to escape!” His voice thunders, warped and mangled and no longer his own.
With a single blow, he destroys the stairs, sending the two of you falling back to the ground. Zenos winces as he lands back on the floor, violet eyes still frantically searching for an exit.
“I will see the both of you dead!” Varis booms, swinging his arms wildly throughout the room, tearing at the ceiling and walls. “I will bury you alive and emerge victorious!”
Zenos gives you one last glance before he grits his teeth and puts you down again, drawing his sword as he faces his father. “I’ll get us out of here.” he whispers, even as the world falls down around you. Before you can get a word in edgewise he’s launched himself at Varis, making a clean slice of his blade across Varis’ arm.
Fight!
You cry as you watch Zenos face off against his father, and for once, this is the first time you’ve seen him in a fight where he doesn’t smile.
Fight!
It couldn’t end here.
Why do you not fight?!
“It won’t end here.”
Gasping, a familiar figure in a white robe trimmed in gold appears before you. Fluffy, lavender hair spills over their shoulders, red mask in place with only their lips visible. Turning, Elidibus faces you, quickly picking you up in his arms before turning back to the hellish scene before him. “Young Zenos!” he calls, red eyes flicking to him immediately. “We must leave!”
“Elidibus?” Varis snarls, moving to punch at you but Eldiibus dodges out of the way, brows visibly furrowed even beneath his mask. “You were an Ancient? All along?”
“What I am does not matter to you, vermin.” Elidibus bristles, fluffy hair standing on edge as he dodges another blow. The facility groans and shakes, threatening to fall apart at any second. “Young Zenos,” Elidibus begins again, dodging another of Varis’ punches, “we must hurry--”
“Get Honey out of here.”
You can’t believe what you’re hearing.
“Like hell I’m leaving without you!” you shriek as Elidibus dodges another swipe, Zenos quickly gaining his father’s attention by cutting off a chunk of his tail. Varis’ shrill scream rattles the facility, turning his attention back to trying to kill his son.
“Young Zenos,” Elidibus tries again, avoiding bits of falling debris. You had to leave, now.
“Get out of here, Elidibus,” Zenos calls, after giving Varis another stab with his blade. “I need to hold him off so you can escape.” He grunts, pulling his blade free from the beast. “So that my love can escape.”
No.
No, no, no.
Pursing his lips, you feel Elidibus grip you tight as dark magic begins to encircle you. “Elidibus!” You screech, screaming like a mad woman. “Zenos, don’t do this! I love you, please--”
“I could not think of a better way to die, Honey, other than by your hand,” Zenos breathes, giving you one last smile, “but I suppose fighting to save you will suffice.” Through speaking he launches himself at Varis once more, a genuine smile upon his face.
“You idiot!” You yell, wishing you had any strength left. “I need you! Your child needs you!”
The last you see of him is Zenos’ red eyes turning to you in shock before Elidibus whisks you away. Dark magic enfolds you and pulls you from the facility, sending you back to the surface.
“Elidibus! Elidibus! You have to go back,” you beg as Elidibus arrives at the surface, face pinched in regret even if it's only his jaw you can see. “Put me down and save him. Go back in there,”
“Honey!” you hear Merlwyb call, as the facility burns from the outside. Yugiri and her soldiers begin to run over to see what the fuss is about as Merlwyb continues to yell at you. “Gods woman, you scared me,”
“Put me down Elidibus, go save him,”
Just as Elidibus seems to consider it, you see his violet eyes widen from beneath his mask. Shoving you into Merlwyb’s arms, he quickly turns and faces the research facility, arms upraised as blue magic spreads from his fingers, erecting a barrier. “Everyone get down!”
The facility explodes, a shockwave bursting from below all the way up to the surface, sending debris flying. You can feel the heat of fire nearly hot enough to burn on your skin, hear the sound of groaning metal as the structure collapses in on itself.
Everyone shields their eyes as a wellspring of aether bursts forth out of control, sweeping over everything in the vicinity. Uncovering your eyes, you watch as Elidibus marches forward and calms the flow, teeth gnashed together as he tries to redirect the aether back underground. The earth begins to ward as strange shards of aether begin to form, the ground quaking beneath your feet as cracks begin to form. “Not again,” he grunts, hair whipping wildly about his face as his power calms the spring. “These shards will not pay for our mistakes!” he roars, giving one last push to quiet the stream of aether, restoring peace to the area.
The barrier falls, having protected you from the bulk of the explosion, everyone looking around in a mix of awe and shock at what they had seen. Already you hear sirens in the distance. You’re distantly aware of Merlwyb questioning you, on how you could possibly do some thing so wreckless and so stupid.
But you don’t hear her.
“He’s gone.”
Merlwyb stops her tirade long enough to register just what it was you had said. “He? You mean Varis?”
“Yes,” Elidibus cuts in, moving to take you into his arms, “Varis is slain. But only because young Zenos sacrificed himself to allow us to escape.” he whispers, burying his face into your hair in an attempt to comfort you or perhaps needing comfort himself. “The aether that Varis had consumed had warped his body beyond recognition; his toll for messing with things he did not fully understand. Things that we did not fully understand…”
“He’s gone…” you whimper over and over, staining Elidibus’ robes with your tears. Zenos’ shocked expression is imprinted on your mind, and you keep opening and closing your eyes as if you’ll finally wake up from this nightmare. Each time you do, Elidibus is still there holding you tightly, and Merlwyb is rattling off orders through tears at seeing how broken and defeated you look.
Elidibus carries you in his arms as he changes his appearance back to normal as the emergency services show up, denying all questioning until you are properly seen to. He sticks to your side as a silent protector, regret shining in how tightly he clenches his jaw.
Cid arrives in a rush, practically falling over himself to get to you, having heard the worst, ready to give Elidibus a piece of his mind until Merlwyb cuts in and explains all that had occurred in the final moments of the Aetherochemical Research Facility. News vans arrive in record time, Cid and Merlwyb quickly garnering their attention as Elidibus carries you to the closest ambulance.
Kugane is safe.
Varis zos Galvus is no more.
But what does it matter?
Zenos is gone.
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3, 4, 19, and 22 from those salty asks?
😘 Thank you for the ask Nonnie! Sorry there was a delay, I didn't see the ask until now!
3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?
Not really, from what I can remember. If I unfollow it's generally because their content has changed into a fandom or something I'm just not following, or a misclick/Tumblr bug. I tend to be picky about following people, like I'll peruse a big chunk of their blog to see what their posting habits are and if it's what I want to add into my feed. Thanks to that, I have a small but well curated dash!
4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?
😬 Yeeeah. Ok so, not a specific pairing and more of a character I can't handle ships with... Aymeric. NOT because I don't understand the appeal - I do! But, well, it's real awkward when you look at him like a brother. I guess it's more the explicit stuff. Fluff and cuddles are adorable and fine. But anything more and I just YEET myself out the window, like bye! It's mostly because my first playthrough on Sarangerel, I was writing notes for her and it was a blind run and it just really clicked that she would see the Fortemps' as her adoptive family in Eorzea, and Aymeric was a part of that family.
Also, the kids. I get a touch icky about ships with the twins and Ryne. I think that's also why I don't like Honoroit and Emmanellain. Like, idk how old Honoroit is, but I know Emm is 26 so I just- noPE nopity nope nope nope! If the ship members are a couple of years apart, or the same age thereabouts that's fine, so like Gaia and Ryne? Not my cup of tea but it doesn't hit NoTP territory (more like 'do we have to slap romance on and invalidate another platonic relationship?' territory).
19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?
Hmm...I think the biggest thing I don't like is how insular it can be. Names at the top of the list seem to feed off each other, and while I've seen some great things come from that, it's also really difficult for smaller, new and unpopular blogs to be seen.
Beyond that, it's the usual tumblr-wide problem of people not engaging with content, but that's hardly fandom exclusive.
And the ridiculous trolls (I hope they're trolls) who push mods and stuff onto gposers. No thank you! Back under your bridge you go!
22. Popular character you hate?
Oooh, this one...hm. Ok, so, I don't hate her (I don't think I hate anyone except Asahi, and that's because he's written that way, which I consider a good thing (and Ilberd, and Yuyuhase)), but...Y'shtola gets to me sometimes. I DO like how she butts heads with Merlwyb over the kobolds and such, like she has some very admirable traits and moments, but I think it's because she seems to refuse to rely on other Scions? Like, she always seems to be hiding an ace or something. It doesn't help that she literally never tells anyone that she's blind. Y'mhitra lets it slip in a post Dragonsong sidequest (the one that starts in the Fortemps' Manor). Like...ok, understandable that she doesn't want to be babied, but it's kind of detrimental. Like, good on her for using her aethersight but how about telling people you ARE so if you drop dead one day we won't all be left in the lurch because one of our foremost members had a secret medical handicap they were making up for via a life-threatening method??? Or if she can't use it anymore the Scions have backups for taking aether readings instead of saying "Y'shtola! What do your Miqo'te eyes see!?". It really bugs me that it was never openly addressed in the MSQ. Like, Urianger definitely knows in SHB...but do the others? Does the WoL, if we never do that one sidequest??? It seems to just be Accepted that she's great at reading aether levels when she never used to be. And none of them are going "Hey Y'shtola, since when could you see that a city was made of aether WITH YOUR BARE EYES??? Since when could you see that the aether of Nidhogg's eye was seething without your goofy Sharlayan goggles???"
If they DO decide to address it in the MSQ, god I hope some Scions are pissed off at her for keeping it a secret. Like...does she really not trust them enough to respect her? Would it really kill her to say "Feeling strained today, so I'll have to pass the research on to someone who doesn't have to scan the paper for the aether in the ink to read it". She doesn't need to be made into this 100% self sufficient badass to be a badass character. Thancred had this whole thing where he got freaking possessed by Lahabrea because he was taking on so much to make up for Ifrit, and he got humbled by that. He realised he had to balance things and couldn't do everything on his own. Y'shtola is literally killing herself to see and everything is hunky dory. It feels so skewed and weird to me that it's gone unaddressed for this long.
...See, now I can't tell if I don't like her because of writing potholes/liberties or just because of how she is >:T
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I Refuse to marry you! - Butler!AU
Aymeric x Kiya
Some triggers in mild eating disorder.
Kiya blinked awake, she had gotten so use to the ceiling at House Fortemps she forgot where she was. She was back at her “home” she sighs as she thought she was finally free of this lifestyle. Being bartered with, for business, and all hinged on who she married. Her parents hope to bind contracts with Scaeva, what better way than marriage to ensure a permanent foot in their world.
Kiya had one maidservant who she trusted, Kivera. The maid had been there long before she was born, she always looked as if she never aged pass twenty. She never had the courage to ask her what her age. The question came up once, and she recalls Kivera pinning Lolorito to the wall with knives.
Kivera helped dress Kiya in silence, reading the air that she did not want to talk about her capture. Rather she didn’t feel like talking at all, so Kivera respected the silence and curled and braided her hair in a fashion she was told to do.
“Breakfast will be ready soon. I’ll bring it to you.” Kivera says and only gets a nod out of Kiya. The miqo leaves her ward be, not missing the way her eyes brimmed when she was alone. She had helped her escape, and seeing her returned to the house made her mad that her eyes turned a lovely shade of red.
She prepared a favorite of Kiya’s something she knows she’ll eat. As she cut food for it, she notes Ilberd coming into the kitchen.
“Are those plates ready? The masters are waiting.” Ilberd stands near Kivera, she simply ignores his voice. She was busy in her own world, and taking care of Kiya’s needs were higher than the masters. She had steadily seen the neglected meals, retrieved them since Kiya’s return.
“The masters are your responsibility are they not? Why haven’t you made them their plates.” Kivera finally answers him.
“For a maid you have some real attitude. Be a delight to see that change after Kiya is married off and you go with her.” Ilberd doesn’t see the way Kivera grips her knife or the side eye his way. She let’s him continue to talk.
“And what does that have to do with me?” Kivera asks, venom already in her voice.
“You seem to be attached to her, it would only be fair that you go with the girl once she is married. She’ll of course need help with child-care. Lest the masters get a few out of her to seal their foot into Scaeva’s house.” Kivera feels the knife in her hand, a favorite she gotten from a tonberry, she knows its sharpness.
“So you know the whole plan for her? Married off, and to have children with someone she doesn’t love?”
“It doesn’t matter what she wants. This was decided for her when she was thirteen autumns. She would be married off to wealthy, then be a wife. That’s it. It’s a good thing we got her back before she gave herself to the first guy that took interest.” Ilberd speaks as if it was common knowledge, he doesn’t see the anger in Kivera’s face.
At that last bit, Kivera leaps and stabs the wall next to his head. She had taken four more knives and quickly stabs four points, two under his arms, one by his head, and one knife to hold close to his chest. She drove the knife next to his head deep into the wall behind him to where only the hilt poked out.
Ilberd is shocked at her action, her normally green eyes a bright red. He wondered why and how they changed. He swallows hard as that knife is pointed towards his chest.
“Do not ever speak of her as a whore. Do not speak of Kiya in my presence like this. Or so help me, they will never find your remains. I’ll make sure you are left as chum bait for the pirates to use out there. She should be able to choose her life, like the other heiresses.” As she speaks, she takes the other knives and drives them deeper into the wall emphasizing her rage at him.
“If I ever hear you talk of her like that again. You will lose your manhood, and all the bits with it. More important. I will make sure that girl has escaped long before that happens. Now, you will wait like a good little boy for the kitchen to make the masters food. Get out of my sight!” Her voice was low in a growl, she pulled each knife out slowly and brandished the tonberry knife to his chest earning a mortified expression out of him. Ilberd scrambles out after getting one more threat with the knife, her slashing the air between them.
Kiya was sitting in the vineyard when Nero approached her. Kiya didn’t look up to greet him, just saw his boots. She rather be anywhere but trying to be courted by this man. The feeling was mutual, Nero actually had less desire in her. however he is a man of business, and she was the deal between houses. Enough support and publicity for his own house.
So there they are, reluctantly engaged for different reasons. He sees the anger in her eyes. He could end this whole charade, dismiss her, label her free. Yet he keeps her because her family has marketing trade through Lolorito. He does not. Lolorito said to marry into the wine house before he would even consider his wares and trades.
“Look, Kiya. I know you dislike me. If your house had other daughters we wouldn’t be here.” Kiya narrows her eyes at him, and Ilberd fresh from his encounter with Kivera stumbles onto them. Kiya remains quiet, preferring not to talk to any of the house save for Kivera. Who actually listens to her pleas.
Ilberd tries his luck, Kiya had not spoken since her arrival, and he noted her losing weight from lack of eating. Her silent defiance completely withdrawn from the men of the house. All she does is glare at both of them.
“It is best you forget the Fortemps house. Soon enough we’ll be announcing your engagement at the banquet at Ala Mhigo’s halls. You’ll be able to see them there before your marriage.” This earns her eyes narrowing to near slits she looks away from him.
The last thing she would want is Aymeric to see her being married to another person. At least a glimmer to see him. But she wonders if he just went back to his own life. They didn’t know each other enough. Yet she finds herself missing his face, and those she had grown to like in their simple ways of life than these elaborate schemes, parties, and she yearns for that life.
“I won’t forget them, nor will there ever be a day I’ll accept this.” Kiya gets up and starts to walk back to the house. Not without giving Nero a glare and raising her hand to point angrily at him.
“I refuse to marry you!” Kiya storms off, her tail twitching angrily as she walks back to her room. She sees the meal left for her by Kivera, and something else. A unique little teacup, a blue rimmed one. A note attached.
“Kiya, I found this within your belongings. I am guessing someone left you a secret present. Please eat something... If you want your prince back, you need to be well. Also there is a letter for you, I placed that in your nightstand eat before you read it.” Kiya smiles at the cup, and takes a bite of the food given to her. Cherishing the cup as it has a warmth to it more than the tea in it.
~~~~~~~~House Fortemps~~~~~~~~~
Aymeric sighs as he skims book after book, looking for something to use. He knows there is something, he had Matoya give him all the documents Kiya had signed before she entered into the world of the maidservices. Haurchefant was reading through books on the same subject.
“Any luck?” Haurchefant asks. He puts the book he had with the pile that had grown on the floor. Aymeric was seated while he stood. He sees Aymeric’s eyes scour through text, how he looked so calm. He had asked his friend Lucia who was the head of the law division about the situation.
“If she had signed something, it could hold, but remember she was a runaway. From a well prestigious house no less. We have a few days before that engagement party. We need to give her something when we see her.” Aymeric answers as Haurchefant sits on the edge of the desk.
Haurchefant was about to say something when Aymeric’s eyes widen and a huge grin spreads across the normally stoic face.
“You find something?” He asks, and Aymeric nods while pointing to a passage in the book.
“I did. And it holds. Let’s go show Lord Edmont. To clarify, she signed Ishgardian maidservants right?”
“Look at you bending earth and heaven for this girl. Yes she did.” Haurchefant passes Aymeric a bookmarker and ink to highlight the spot to not lose it.
“You would do the same for Laurelis.” Aymeric earns a grin from Haurchefant.
“Says here, that women who enter into Ishgardian services forfeit their claims of their households so that they’re treated as equals among their peers. I signed the same thing a long time ago from House Borel. By this, she belongs in Ishgard, in her house she is assigned to until the house deems her either unfit, or she marrys out of it. No wonder they’re so hot for her to marry now.” Aymeric recounts this to Edmont, who beams at both men.
“You did your research well. Now, remember the engagement party is just an announcement. Not a wedding, this is our opportunity to expose this. But be prepared for backlash there.” Both nod, and go on about what they should do.
~~Letter~~
“Kiya,
I heard you are not enjoying your home. To be expected when your real home is with us at House Fortemps. I write to you, because a curious letter came to me asking for help in giving you some uplifting thoughts. Myself and Haurchefant are reading book after book to find something to break your arrangement. I do ask that you stay strong for me. I do not know if you found my gift for you. Keep it safe, it is the one I use. I hope for the time being it brings you comfort.
Aymeric~”
#aymeric#ser aymeric#ffxiv aymeric#aymeric de borel#Kiya Shinikami#aymeric x kiya#butler!AU#Kivera siverstein#haurchefant greystone#mentions of Laurelis#ilberd feare#nero scaeva
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“Commander Leveilleur” Patch 2.4 — Abandoned Snippets (May 2018) Part 2 of 2
[...]
The next week found her fighting yet another primal - this time, the Lord of Levin made his appearance, summoned by the very same sylphs who had brought him into being the last time. When Saki returned to the Rising Stones, she was hungry, filthy, and tired beyond all reason, which was part of the reason why Minfillia’s immediate summons had irked her so. But she hearkened to the solar anyways like the good little dog she was, still caked in a thick layer of blood and muck and smelling to high heavens. The highlander’s nose had quirked when the scent of that had wafted towards her, before dismissing her to reconvene later, telling her to go take a shower, that whatever it was could wait - at least for a little while.
The thing that could wait turned out to be a personal request - worried about the Crystal Braves, Minfillia had asked her to offer her services to Alphinaud once more, stating that her attempts to send one of the Archons to help him had failed.
“You know how he can be” She had said. “independent to a fault, and singularly loath to accept help… Save, of course, when that help comes from you.”
Saki almost recoiled in alarm at that. Almost.
“What are you suggesting?” She’d snapped, covering up her disquietude with virulence.
“Only that Alphinaud has entrusted countless matters of import to your care in the past… and that he would do so again, were you to offer.”
Minfillia’s smile was wry, as if she knew exactly what was going through her mind. Did he really…? She wondered, staring into the antecedent’s powder blue eyes. Finally, she grimaced, holding up her hands in exasperation for a moment before letting them drop.
“Fine,” She said, utterly defeated.
She started for the door, but the sound of the other woman’s voice caused her to stop, her ear turning towards the desk, where the highlander was now brushing through a stack of papers.
“You know,” She said softly. “you two are really not as different as one might think.”
Choosing not to answer that baited comment, Saki left the solar, letting the door fall shut behind her with a slam.
She found Alphinaud sitting at the desk in the alcove. Up to his nose in several stacks of parchment, his expression turned peevish when he saw her approaching, but he continued in his work, lowering what was in his hand and putting quill to parchment; his handwriting was an onslaught of fancy loops and well-practiced curves, a overbearing cursive that she wouldn’t have been able to read even if she wanted to. It suited him, she thought, watching him as he pointedly ignored her.
Finally, he sighed, exasperated.
“What do you want, Saki?” He asked, now squinting at a different sheet of paper that seemed to have a lot of numbers on it. “And do be concise. I am rather busy.”
“Gee,” Saki said, leaning against the desk and crossing her arms over her chest. “is this the way you talk to all who come to you offering their services, Commander Leveilleur?”
His surname was foreign in her mouth, and she was sure that she botched the pronunciation, but finally she had gotten his attention; he paused, quill held a mere inch away from the surface it had been scribbling away on, and looked up at her. What was that she saw in his eyes just then? Disappointment? Why was he disappointed?
“I see Minfillia got to you too.” He said, turning back to his work. “On that account, I would normally decline, but…”
“Do you want my help or not?” Saki asked impatiently.
“But,” He repeated, continuing as if she hadn’t interrupted at all. “far be it from me to refuse when something such as this wants for attention.”
He didn’t look at her as he continued, his eyes on the marks he was making on the paper before him. Saki stared down at him, watching the flyaway lock of hair on the top of his head bob with his movements.
“Given the sensitive nature of the situation, I was hesitant to entrust this matter to my Braves… My men do not want for labour; though we are but newly formed, there is already a great demand for our services, and we are hard-pressed to answer every petition that makes it across my desk. But I digress…”
“And why aren’t you doing this yourself, like we both know you want to?”
Alphinaud looked up at her over the edge of the piece of parchment he was squinting at. His eyes were frustrated, and those shadows she had seen around them were still there. Did he bite off more than he could chew? She wondered silently. Her misgivings about the venture had been shelved while she was in Coerthas, but they hadn’t disappeared; and seeing the look on his face caused them to surge to the forefront. She wanted to have faith in him; she really did. But instead, all she saw was a gaping maw of doubt - and she was absolutely, one hundred percent sure that a good part of it was her, not him.
“No,” She said. “forget that. How can I help?”
Saki watched as his expression shifted at her sudden change in attitude. His gazed warmed, the temperature of his regard changing so subtly that she barely noticed it. He was plainly hiding it, but she could feel his relief.
“I have entrusted the resolution of this matter to my second-in-command, Captain Ilberd.”
The guy who had stared at her? She thought. Great.
“Tell him that I sent you, and he will furnish you with the particulars. My thanks in advance, Saki.”
My thanks in advance, he had said. As if her pledging her attentions to the matter instantly determined that there was to be a good outcome. She guessed she should be happy that he seemed to have such faith in her; but it was never as easy as he always made it out to be.
[...]
#tag: mine#tag: my writing#tag: abandoned snips#tag: arr/post-arr#tag: patch 2.4 (dreams of ice)#tag: writing - saki's pov#tag: saki#tag: alphinaud#tag: source!minfillia#tag: alphysaki
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FFxivWrite - 27 - Palaver
Day 27 of @sea-wolf-coast-to-coast ‘s writing challenge!
His vision was blurry, his mind, hazy. James sat in a corner, on a set of boxes in the Rising Stones. He had snuck out of his room, when he knew everyone was asleep and not in the main quarters anymore. Quietly he had been grabbing a bottle of wine, and took sips from the glass. Even though he still disliked the wine, he drank on, and on and on.
Wilred’s passing had not been easy on him. Hearing how one of his best friends had passed away. When the first bottle was empty, he grabbed another. This continued till the fourth, where he then stumbled towards the near corner, and broke out in tears.
Little did he know the captain had been standing behind a wall for the past minute or so, glancing over at what that crying noise was. With a sigh, he approached the private.
“Fidelis?” he looked down at the mess that was once a cheery passionate Hyur, but right now he sat there, head hanging low, and a half bottle of wine in his hands.
James lifted his head, and made a soft hiccup.
“Captain?” barely believing Ilberd was standing in front of him. They were all asleep weren’t they? Is this another side effect from Alcohol?
“Let’s get you up.”
The young man felt a tug on his arm, and felt his whole body protest to get up. He was then guided to one of the near tables, and Ilberd sat him down.
“So why am I finding you in this drunken stupor?” The Highlander asked confused.
“You know we were great friends.” James started, and wanted to grab another swig from the bottle, but Ilberd shook his head and held it close to him. “Hmpf…” James scoffed before moving on. “I guess you can say I am trying to drink the sorrow away.” The young man’s eyes kept gazing towards the bottle. “He was a good lad, a good person. He did not deserve to die. I wish I knew who did it, I would cut him down with my lance!” the emotions escalated, and James began to sob again.
“I wish there was something I could do, that I could have saved him… I should have been there to protect my fellow comrade! He didn’t deserve to die, captain.” The youngster kept continuing to blabber on. Sometimes even repeating things he mentioned before. And there was the captain, listening with half an ear. The young man spoke about his whole history he shared with the fallen comrade, and soon Ilberd made an annoying sigh.
“We should get you to bed, you do know you still have duties to attend to, with or without you having a hangover. “ He hissed.
“But of course captain…I should thank you for looking out or me...” James blushed and made another hiccup. “You’ve always been good to me as well. One might even say you’re truly a respectable captain.”
“By the Gods…” Ilberd mumbled, this should be good.
“The short time we’ve spent together, you’ve always been so kind. I never admitted it, but those training sessions we shared, I truly learned from them.”
Ilberd raised his eyebrow, should he just let the young man continue his drunken speech? Maybe he should and yet, what if he blabbers something out that he might regret?
“It might not seem that way… By the ways I always am asking to continue your lessons, and how I always seem to fail. But sometimes I do this on purpose!” James chuckled uncontrollably. “The reason to that is that I just truly enjoy being around you…” A shock went through the captain’s body. “One might even say I have a crush on you, haha…” James then looked over to Ilberd. The Highlander then saw the young man realise he just spoken this aloud to the one person he tried to hide it from all along.
“I-” It was an uncomfortable silence, that was soon broken by another hiccup from the young man.
“That’s it, you’re completely off the world.” Ilberd frowned and walked up to James and pulled him up again. “To bed with you.”
“My apologies…!” James tried to fight back, but in his state it was just a weak tug against Ilberd dragging him across the room.
When they arrived at James’ room, Ilberd pushed him inside and lead the young man towards his bed.
However, James still fought back and bounced against the captain’s chest. He looked up, shyly, seeing Ilberd almost twice. A smile formed on his face, and for a second he wanted to make the scene a little more intimate. But the hand of the captain was pressed against his face, and once more he got dragged to his bed.
“Get to bed.” The captain demanded, and then walked away, clearly angry.
James stood there wiggling on his feet, as he saw how the captain slammed the door behind him. Tears once more ran over his cheeks, as he began to realise what had passed. With sorrow overcoming him once more, he climbed in his bed and curled himself up like a ball.
The captain however, had his back against the young man’s door and made a sigh as he heard the young man burst out in tears once more at the other side of the door. Regret overcame him, for the praise he got from James, truly was misplaced. Especially since he was one of the reasons he was in this sorrowful state. Closing his eyes, he suppressed these feelings, and walked on back to his room.
#ffxivwrite2019#heck#I almost feel bad writing about James and Ilberd constantly#But I just like their bond too much#:see-no-evil:
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A Cold Wind
Happy Starlight!
I’ve had this percolating in my mind for a while, until finally it burst forth after finishing the Realm Reborn content heading into Heavensward. To be fair, I could have probably posted it at a better time of year but hey. I can’t predict when this stuff hits my brain.
Anyhoo, spoilers for pre-HW, post-ARR stuff.
The wind is bitterly cold today. To be fair, the wind is bitterly cold every day. Even in those brief moments when the snowfall ceases, the clouds clear, and the warm sun shines brightly upon the lands of Coerthas, it is still bitterly cold. Perhaps one day, it will no longer be so.
But today is not that day.
I do not know how long it has been since we came to Coerthas in search of refuge and succor. It may have been moons, yet I still recall the events that brought us to Camp Dragonhead as vividly as though it happened yesterday. Since then, we three have sat- myself, Alphinaud Leveilleur, and Tataru Taru- waiting for word to return from Ishgard in regards to our petition for asylum. In all that time, one would think that I would have grown accustomed to the cold. In a sense, I suppose that I have.
No, mayhap it is less that I have grown accustomed, and more that I have become numb to it. There is a part of me that hates that. Another part of me accepts it wholly, as numbness is easier to deal with than the pain, despair, and rage threatening to lash out at every passerby.
When those things start to bubble to the surface, I wander the central highlands. From Camp Dragonhead, past the Gates of Judgement, out to Whitebrim; from there, heading south through Daniffen Pass, down near the Aurum Vale, and the path toward Mor Dhona through the Hall of the Seven Echoes, but there I pause.
I dare not go further south. I want to, gods, how I want to, but I know that engaging the Crystal Braves occupying Revenant's Toll would only exacerbate the situation. Nor would it do anything to clear my name, or the names of the Scions.
Much like the cold, I should have been accustomed to loss by now, yet I still feel these losses so keenly. That seems to be the legacy of the Scions, loss. How many did we lose the first time, after Louisoix? When I had first joined, I was but one of four new recruits. By the time I had grown strong enough to challenge Titan, we had grown by leaps and bounds. From all walks of life they came, ready and willing to put their knowledge, their skills, their strength to the cause of preserving Eorzea's future, and to defend the realm against the threat of the primals and the Garlean Empire.
I still remember the cold chill that ran down my spine, the smell of blood and death that permeated around the Waking Sands the moment I opened those doors. What I saw from the sylph Noraxia made my blood run cold. In but mere moments, our numbers were decimated. The Empire's attack was swift, brutal, and without mercy. Just like that, we were back down to but a handful of dedicated souls, the rest left to molder and rot alongside the long-silent bones of those who perished in the Calamity, with naught even a stone to mark their place. None apart from we who survived would know how much they gave for this realm to see a brighter tomorrow.
We lost so many that day, but we still built ourselves back up. We defeated the Empire's ultimate weapon and stopped their war machine dead in its tracks. Primals arose, stronger than those that came before, and we felled them. We found a way to permanently destroy Ascian souls, at the cost of our comrade Moenbryda. We spearheaded the defense of Ishgard against the Dravanian Horde. But then in the moment we take time to celebrate our victories, it happened again. Our comrades were set upon in the streets and the markets. We were betrayed by our allies. One by one, the Archons fell.
Yda.
Papalymo.
Y'shtola.
Thancred.
Minfilia.
In the end, once more, only a handful of dedicated souls were left. Before, we were the saviors of Eorzea, and protectors of the realm. Now, we are known as little more than scheming assassins.
I can feel that rage burning, building up again. This wandering is not working, and it only seems to drive home that I am not as numb to this as I would like to be. Onward. My path takes me from the Hall of the Seven Echoes heading east, toward the Observatorium. Or to use its full title, the First Dicasterial Observatorium of Aetherial and Astrological Phenomena.
By the Twelve, I think the Ishgardians enjoy their puffed up titles just a little too much.
Just south of the Darkhold, the path splits, with one trail heading toward the Observatorium, and the other heading toward the North Shroud, and I stop myself.
There are a few moments of hesitation before I resign myself to my path and continue east.
No. Not today.
A few times during this exile, I have had a mind to glamour myself, return to Gridania, get as much information as I could from Mother Miounne. She, Momodi, and Baderon, they have good heads on their shoulders. I know they could never have believed the accusations. But I also know that I cannot risk drawing them into this. All it would take was the wrong person seeing the wrong thing and the heads of the Adventurers' Guild would be thrown in gaol for 'aiding and abetting' a known fugitive or whatever godsforsaken charges the Monetarists and their lackeys would dream up. I can only imagine what ridiculous charges they leveled against Alphinaud to arrest him to begin with. Had it not been for Vice-Marshal Tarupin's assistance, he would have still been languishing in a cell in Ul'dah.
The little lordling is still recovering from his bout of melancholy and self-pity. As we fled Ul'dah, Alphinaud gave in to despair, blaming himself for everything that had happened. At the time, I said nothing. No words of comfort, but also no words to confirm or deny his beliefs. I simply sat back and allowed the self-flagellation to continue. Secretly, I agreed with him. I am ashamed to admit, but there was a part of me that was satisfied. Not with the loss of our comrades, of course, but to see the great Alphinaud Leveilleur taken down a peg.
The grandson of the Archon Louisoix has rarely ever been at a loss for words, to an almost irritating degree. I wouldn't have thought much of him, sitting across from me on my entrance into Eorzea, silent, sitting aside his sister Alisaie. I would think even less of him the next times I would encounter him, which was during the memorial services for those who perished during the Calamity. They approached me unbidden, because clearly there was not enough room for him to stand elsewhere, suffering his snide remarks in regards to the city-states, their leaders, and their grand companies.
This happened not once, not twice, but thrice.
Given the circumstances, however, I cannot say that I blame him for his cynicism. The city-states of Eorzea must have done very little to instill any sort of reassurance for his grandsire's sacrifice. Even so, Alphinaud's arrogance and self-assuredness was a bewildering thing. Do not misunderstand, I admire his diplomacy, even when he can be lacking tact, and he has a way with words I wish I could emulate. I say it was bewildering because he truly seemed to think he, himself, could single-handedly save the realm. I do not doubt his sincerity, but I also wholeheartedly believe that he was blinded by his potential glory, as the leader of the world-saving, all-conquering Crystal Braves.
Ah, the Crystal Braves. There goes that rage bubbling up again. Time to start heading northward, from the Observatorium back up toward Camp Dragonhead.
Truly, as much as Alphinaud blames himself, I cannot overlook my own involvement. After all, he tasked me with recruiting several of the men and women of the Crystal Braves in the first place. Hells, it was my recommendation that brought that damnable Laurentius into the fold to begin with. I should have known better. But no. No, I had to be the one to give second chances. I wanted to believe that he had turned a new leaf, that he truly did want to start over.
On the other hand, I suppose I should not have been surprised by Yuyuhase's involvement in the mutiny. Even from the beginning, he seemed far too preoccupied with the acquisition of coin. I chalked it up to living in Ul'dah, where the pursuit of the Almighty Gil is a way of life, no matter who you have to step on to reach it.
Then there is Ilberd. What is there to say about Ilberd? He had us all fooled. I believed him to be of great moral character, loyal to a fault, and a man worthy of leading the Crystal Braves. He kept his hatred of General Raubahn more secret than he did his loyalty to his Monetarist paymasters. That a man should speak of Ala Mhigo so, but have no qualms about killing a youth like Wilred, who fought for the same as he, bespeaks a coldness in him that would freeze each of the seven hells. He claimed to have been the one to assassinate Nanamo Ul Namo, but I have my doubts, as sharpened steel seems more his style, not poison.
The price you pay for wanting to do better. I cannot begin to imagine what might have ensued had the Sultana enacted her plans. But even as much chaos as the dissolution of Ul'dah's government would have brought about, surely her death will have done much the same.
That Teledji Adeledji would resort to outright assassination, even I would not have guessed. That, I think, has been what disturbs what little sleep I have had since that day - the look of pure terror on Nanamo's face before she collapsed, and I being completely unable to do anything about it. She was right in front of me, and I could not do anything to save her before Teledji and his cronies had me arrested. Being carted out in chains by Ilberd in front of the assembled guests was certainly far from my proudest moment.
I arrive at the gates of Camp Dragonhead and consider my next move. Briefly, I think about moving further north, toward the remnants of the Steel Vigil, where some of the highest concentration of dragons and Dravanians can be found. Instead, I take the path west, retreading my original path, heading toward the Gates of Judgement once more.
That is something I have to keep reminding myself. Try as I might, no matter what lofty titles others may foist upon me, I cannot save everyone. Though I keep trying, it is impossible. I still do not know how it managed to get to this point. I never even wanted this job. I was never supposed to be this. How I ever ended up as Hydaelyn's chosen is as much of a mystery to me as it is to most everyone else. A glorified sellsword, content to take whatever job is asked of them with a silent nod, going from killing pests around the city to vanquishing shadowless demons and stopping an Imperial invasion.
But I have either gone deaf to Her word or Hydaelyn does not speak to me any longer.
No, the only one who speaks now is Midgardsormr, the Father of Dragonkind, who stripped me of the blessing She gave me. As I stand before the entrance to the Gates of Judgement, far enough outside to be out of eyesight of the guards inside, I feel his presence, just over my right shoulder. I keep my gaze focused ahead, refusing to give him the satisfaction of a glance.
"Heh… heh… heh… thou thinkest sanctuary lieth beyond?" His tone is almost mocking, derisive at the mortal's naivete.
It galls me to admit the truth in the intent behind his words. In the time I spent out in Coerthas searching for the Enterprise, I met some good people and worked with them a number of times in the intervening moons, as the Scions moved into Mor Dhona and Revenant's Toll. But I have never been to the city proper, nor delved into its politics. I have heard bits and pieces from what little Lord Haurchefant has told me, and what few conversations I've had with Ser Aymeric prior to the bloody banquet. As closed off as the nation has been for years, it may either be a path to salvation or to perdition.
It takes no prompting of any kind to be treated to Midgardsormr's belief, before he disappears once again.
"Delusion... Despair… Death… thou shalt find naught else here."
With that, I am alone as the wind whips around me, and the snow begins to pick up. I take a few steps back and turn, heading back east toward Camp Dragonhead. Enough is enough. I am denied the numbness I sought, such as the chill that begins to wrack my body, and I am all but certain to receive a chiding, both from Tataru and Lord Haurchefant.
The wind is bitterly cold today. To be fair, the wind is bitterly cold every day. Even in those brief moments when the snowfall ceases, the clouds clear, and the warm sun shines brightly upon the lands of Coerthas, it is still bitterly cold. Perhaps one day, it will no longer be so. Perhaps one day, I will not have need of it to try and numb myself to the world.
But today is not that day.
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