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#I HAVE OPINIONS AND I MUST SQUEAK tho those opinions are generally 'man just do what works for you'
scrawlingmouse · 7 months
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so, nanowrimo
Writers who are both more eloquent and more established than I have talked at length about it, it's ups and downs, etc., but I figured Hey! I've got a writing blog now and Opinions on Nano! Might as well talk about it, right?
So, for starters, I did Nano about 10 years ago back in high school, and I'm considering doing it again this year. Sorta. We'll get back to that. When I did it the first year in high school it was fun! I did it with a friend, and I didn't "win" but I did get a lot more words down than I was used to! But of course I had school and then college to focus on, so eventually that 2/3rds of a novel draft just kinda withered away while I did nothing with it. Flash forward to the next year and I decide Hey! I should do this again! And I did, and I got maybe 2 days in before I crashed and burned. Flash forward to the next year, and it happens again. And again, and again, until eventually I swore off nano and decided it was Absolutely Terrible for Writers Forever.
So, what changed? Uh, nothing, really. I still don't think nano is a good thing for young writers who haven't learned what the writing cycle actually feels like, or even looks like.
(As a disclaimer: if you are a writer and feel like the structure and deadline works for you to help you pump out a draft, hell yeah! Good for you! Legitimately good for you, no sarcasm! This is not directed at you.)
SO THE WRITING STRUCTURE. WHAT IS IT? It's drafts. It's so many drafts, especially for longer works. It's drafts upon drafts as you figure out how you actually want your story to work. It's writing a whole novel and letting it sit and returning to it and rewriting the entire thing, and then realizing that rewrite was just a second draft, maybe even a 4th draft as you reconfigure what a "draft" actually even looks like. And then, once you have a draft you're satisfied with, it's edits. And then it's several phases of edits before you're satisfied again. And then, depending on what route you're going in terms of publishing, it's potentially even more drafts and editing and drafts of editing as you work to get your story out and-
It's a lot of work, okay? Not that anyone ever said it wasn't, but I feel like we need to be honest with ourselves in that writing is a lot of work. Cranking out 50k words in a month is a draft. A very hasty, very slapdash draft. When I tried doing this in college, I didn't quite realize it, wrapped up in all the hype of writing a novel in a month, and so kept getting frustrated when my words werent perfect. Never mind that I'd never actually finished a draft before, didn't even really know what a draft looked like.
So, why am I trying again? Great question! I'm not! Sorta. I'm not holding myself to the word count (I'm mostly writing short stories and novellas these days anyways), I'm not tying to write a finished product, and if I don't reach my goal this month I'm not going to stop. Because that's what happens a nontrivial amount: dec 1 rolls around and people stop writing without the structure/deadline to keep going, and so all the work they put in to keep up a writing habit goes down the drain. Anyways, my goal this year for this month of nanowrimo is just to stress test my own drafting abilities: how much of a draft for my next Xal novella can I get done in a month? That's it. That's my entire goal, just to see what happens. If I make it? Sweet! Onto the next phase! If I don't? Sweet! Most of a draft is better than no draft! Onto the next phase!
Draft writing is just one spoke in a wheel, and you gotta keep it turning onto the next thing.
So, what's the end to all this? Should you never participate in nano? Should you denounce it to the heavens??? Man how would I know I'm just a mouse. These are questions you gotta ask yourself and sit with the answers. I think you should tailor nano to fit with you and how you write, but you're the only one who can accurately answer just what that means for you. If it means cranking out the whole 50k, good for you! If it means just trying to write once a day, perfect! Hell yeah get that habit forming! If it's some other kind of benchmark that works for you, good!
Just keep going after. That's all I ask, don't let someone else's arbitrary goals keep you from writing.
I love you go do good work I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!
Also hey if you read this far mind checking out my patreon or buying me a ko-fi? I've got discount commissions on my Patreon as well as access to all my backlog of one-shots forever, and I've got a $1+ donation doodle option on my ko-fi! Your support keeps me writing c: thanks!
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renlimotroll · 3 years
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Love by Daylight
Summary: Siruko-san was forced to cosplay as Feng Min for a gaming convention, and there he finds his me-meant-to-be.
Pairing: Limone-Sensei x Siruko 🍋🐶
Warnings: BL, Personification, Out of Character because it’s my imagination, Cursing courtesy of Sensei’s potty mouth, male cosplaying as female character (does this count as crossdressing?)
A/N: This was a prompt given to me by my internet younger sister Aki, who imagined Siruko-san cosplaying as Feng Min. It was too good of a prompt not to write! But I’d like to apologize for the delay; I’ve been writing this since December 1 and I am a professional procrastinator XD 😅. (Please excuse my pun for memento. I like to think I’m funny hahaha 🤣)
The art you’ll see here is made by my beloved friend and babe Sarah. Check out her twitter and instagram here! Thank you so much babe for bringing to life what I’ve just been imagining. 💙💜 (Please don’t repost or grab without permission as a respect for her hard work)
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Enjoy~
"I hate you all." Siruko declares angrily while adjusting his clothes with a little more force than necessary. He wants to burn these clothes and maybe hit his 'friends' too.
Who wouldn’t, when they forced him to wear this China dress.
"Siruko-san kawaiiiiii~" Jiraichan squeals and everyone nods, even his younger brother. Siruko feels betrayed.
Today is TGS day. Tokyo Game Show is one of the biggest video-game expo and conventions in all of Japan, held at Chiba. Everyone wanted to go, even Minben-san, and Siruko was the only one who didn't want to. The Bintroll leader knows that he's being a party pooper by refusing, but he hates crowds with a passion. He told them to just go by themselves, but by true Bintroll fashion, they refuse to listen to their leader.
Siruko didn't even realize he was being baited into coming through that stupid bet. They were playing DbD and suddenly Hakotaro (his own brother, nonetheless! traitors, all of them!) made a suggestion that whoever gets memento-ed first should cosplay as their character. Jiraichan added that the loser must come to TGS cosplaying. Naturally, Siruko-san's gamer pride refused to let him back out of the stupid bet, and they even had Ichihachi-kun be the killer. There was no way Siruko will be memento-ed, he thought, and he was confident enough in his DbD skills. There's no way he will lose.
Or so he thought.
"Can you all stop staring at me!! Let's just go!!" Siruko stomps out of the hotel room grumpily, sulking in the entire drive. Thankfully, or maybe they all felt sorry for him, but everyone in Bintroll cosplayed as their mains too, so Siruko wasn't out of place. The Double Morell keeps snickering at him, and Siruko-san glares daggers at them, vowing to never unhook them next time.
Siruko sighs deeply as he begins to see Makuhari Messe. TGS might not be as big as Comiket, but holy shoot this was a lot of people. He doesn't even know why Bintroll wanted to go here--every single one of them are not good with crowds and people in general--but Siruko can admit there's some sort of element of excitement here. There were so many cosplayers and booths filled with merch, action figures, and so many more. It's truly a feast for the eyes and even Siruko starts to look forward to buying something. Maybe new gaming PC gear!
He just hopes he'll be able to survive the crowds. Siruko takes a deep breath and enters the convention hall.
Limone-sensei blinks at the flash of the camera but maintains his smile. The female fans thank him and he thanks them back for supporting his channel. He waves at the limojos and they giggle. Sensei sighs inwardly.
It's his first time attending TGS as an invited participant and not a normal attendee, and even though he's happy that he became famous enough as a game commentator to be invited here, he kinda misses being able to walk around normally without all the people recognizing him. His face is even half-covered with a black mask, and yet people still know it's him. Limone loves interacting with his fans, but being stopped every few meters for a picture is kinda tough.
On his way to the toilet, he sees some men gathered around something. He pays them no mind, but then he hears this.
"I said leave me alone!"
Sensei doesn't know why, it's not even a woman's voice, but it sounded so nervous and desperate that Sensei wants to come to this person's rescue. Upon closer inspection, he sees a person in a (really well-done) Feng Min cosplay, although the bright red China dress kinda clashes with the pretty purple hair tied up in a bun. Sensei can't stop thinking it was really cute, and then finds himself weirded out by the thought of calling a guy cute.
“Ne neesan, just one picture, come on! And maybe your LINE too!” A guy (who’s as ugly as Hillbilly in Sensei’s opinion) invades Feng Min cosplayer’s personal space and Feng Min cosplayer is obviously uncomfortable. Limone doesn’t know why but it makes him seethe in anger. It’s not in his nature to meddle, but a group of guys surrounding and overcrowding someone is not a pleasant sight. 
“Aho janai ka?! I’m a guy!” Sensei is impressed that even though Feng Min cosplayer looks so anxious, he still manages to fight back. “Heh really? You’re cute tho, you’ll do.” Buzoku-no-buzu presses closer to the purple head and gropes his butt, and Feng Min cosplayer squeaks. Sensei’s vision dims and he sees red. His feet bring him forward and he grips the guy's shoulder so hard he crumples down in an attempt to get away from him.
“Get lost.” He says simply, but his fierce eyes tell a different story. The other guys distance themselves immediately upon one look at him. Sensei doesn't wait for a reply and pulls Feng Min cosplayer to his side, staring down the wimps who were clearly more suited to gaming than engaging in real-life fights. At the back of his mind, alarm bells are ringing--he shouldn't be making a scene, especially someone with popularity like him. But Feng Min presses closer to him and he smells good and Sensei couldn’t think straight.
“Chill man, we didn’t know he had a boyfriend. We’ll leave.” One of the smarter idiots surrenders and tugs a complaining buzoku no buzu away, who was itching to take revenge. Sensei rolls his eyes inwardly; Hillbilly wouldn't even last a second if he fought Sensei. The pro-gamer was so worked up with adrenaline he didn't even realize to correct the guy about them being boyfriends. He glowers at them until they leave and disappear, and after that he hopes no one recognizes him. He can already see the tweets: "Limone-Sensei picking fights for his secret lover!" He groans inwardly.
“Ano… you didn’t need to do that, but thank you I guess.” Feng Min cosplayer says reluctantly even though he clearly was relieved, and he plays with his lovely fingers nervously. Sensei sees faint pink dusting his cheeks and has a split-second to think cute before he realizes he himself is blushing too, and he coughs slightly. Thank goodness he has a mask.
“What were you thinking, going to something like this alone, in a cosplay like that nonetheless?! Didn’t you know cosplayers are often harassed like this?! You should’ve at least brought a friend! Bakagayo omae?!” Sensei doesn’t know why he’s scolding this stranger, who in return gets surprised at Sensei’s strict words and squares his shoulders up as if preparing for a fight. “I have friends, okay?! I was just going to the toilet when I got stopped by those weirdos!” Purple head raises his chin defiantly and crosses his arms across his chest grumpily, and even then, at the back of Sensei’s mind, he thinks it’s cute. Sensei blinks, what is wrong with him today?
“Then go with your friends next time!”
“I will!” Feng Min raises his voice in return. “Thank you again and sorry for the trouble!” Feng Min stomps his way to the toilet, not looking sorry at all. Left alone by himself outside the toilet, Sensei shakes his head in disbelief and decides to go to another toilet.
That Feng Min purple head sure is interesting, he thinks, and hopes that he never has to see him again.
Siruko washes his hands in annoyance. What was that all about?! And he was starting to enjoy the convention too! He learns to cope with the crowds and get his anxiety to a manageable level, and with his friends he starts to enjoy looking at what each booth has to offer. He’s even bought some cute DbD stickers from this cute fanartist who was so grateful to have her first sell-out of the day and a comfy Lifeline hoodie he can wear all the time. Save for the crowd, the convention was really fun and nice and he was looking forward to watching some of the events on stage or even look at the indie game developers booth later.
And those weirdos just have to ruin his day! Mou!! He dusts off his China dress as he tries to shake his irritation off. But, in retrospect, the guy who just saved him, he’s kinda hot. His deep sexy voice sounds familiar, but Siruko can’t place where he has heard it. The way he stared down those weirdos even got Siruko’s goosebumps to raise, and even when he was scolding Siruko he kinda liked it. I didn't even get to ask his name, Siruko regrets. He decides to call him ear-piercing oniisan, because he has a gold piercing on his left ear that just makes him more seductive.
He comes out of the toilet back to the place where he last left Bintroll in, only to find no one there. No need to panic, Siruko calms himself. He tries looking around and waiting in the area, hoping that his friends will come back for him. But after a few minutes, no one came. Siruko starts to get restless, fear creeping up his throat and he tries to swallow it down but it’s like glass, and it’s getting hard to breathe.
Suddenly, it occurs to him that he just needs to call them. He pats his pockets for his phone, only to find out he has no pockets. Kuso China dress! Is this why girls always carry purses? Siruko thinks, because dammit why doesn't this cosplay have any pockets! He remembers that his phone is in his red medkit, an accessory to his cosplay, and he gave it to his brother coz he didn’t want it destroyed by bringing it to the toilet. AAAAA what is he gonna do now?!
Someone passes by with a burger in their hands and it smells so good, Siruko’s stomach rumbles loudly. The people walk by in a blur, and suddenly he feels so drained and alone. He finds a spot by the wall and slumps down, hugging his knees as much as his tight China dress allows him to move, hoping one of his friends finds him. Suddenly the crowds are too scary, and he can feel his panic rise up. What if they don't find him? How will he get home? Why are there so many people?!?!
He doesn't realize that he’s been spacing out until his view darkens, and he looks up to realize that someone was standing in front of him. Siruko looks up and sees ear-piercing oniisan, and it feels like he’s talking to him but Siruko can’t process anything he says. His chest hurts and it feels like an anaconda has been squeezing his body and there’s the sound of wind rushing in his ears. Ear-piercing oniisan crouches in front of him and tells him to breathe, to follow him… inhale… exhale.. Inhale… exhale…
“Oi. Oi. Daijoubu ka teme?” The voice snaps him awake, and Siruko responds, albeit too late.
“Hai?”
Ear-piercing oniisan sighs in relief, and Siruko realizes he was almost on the verge of a panic attack earlier and this handsome stranger had just helped him out of it. He didn't even realize there were tears pooling at the corner of his eyes, although thankfully they didn’t fall down. He blinks them away and tries to breathe properly again.
“Um…..” he tries, avoiding eye contact with the stranger who had just saved him twice now. Siruko clears his throat.
“What the hell are you doing here, alone again?! Where are your friends?!” 
Why does a stranger scolding him make him feel calm? Siruko forgets his anxiety and relaxes immediately.  “I don’t know. When I came back, they weren't here. They have my phone so I couldn't contact them.”
Ear-piercing oniisan huffs. “Bakagayo. You should always bring your phone and wallet. Seriously, are you a kid?”
Siruko tries to pout in protest, but then his stomach rumbles loudly again. Heat floods his cheeks and he looks away in embarrassment. Is it possible for the ground to swallow him up right now? Entity-sama! Please take me! Siruko begs in his imagination.
He thinks he hears ear-piercing oniisan laugh but it might be his imagination, because suddenly handsome oniisan stands up and offers him a hand. Siruko stares at it (and thinks, wow, it’s so pretty, how does a man have hands as pretty as this?) and ear-piercing oniisan rolls his (really beautiful) ocean eyes and moves his hand in a gesture that means he wants Siruko to stand up.
Siruko feels silly and takes the hand (and somehow his stomach flutters but not because of hunger) and ear-piercing oniisan helps him up and tugs him to somewhere. “Ne, where are we going?” He tries to ask. “I don’t even know your name.”
Ear-piercing oniisan looks back at him and smirks, and holy shit Siruko’s heart clenches. What the heck?! “Just call me Sensei.” Ear-piercing oniisan replies, and somehow the nickname fits him. Siruko doesn't know why but he trusts Sensei. At the very least, there’s only maybe 4% chance he’ll be taken to a yakuza hideout or something.
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Sensei stops in front of a food cart and the smell of yakisoba cooking hits Siruko’s nose. Sensei greets the ojiisan like a friend and the ojiisan laughs, pleased to see Sensei. Ojiisan packs two big boxes into a plastic bag and hands it to Sensei, winking at Siruko. “Enjoy your date Sensei!” Ojiisan calls loudly while laughing and Sensei tells him “Uruse na!” but he’s also laughing. Siruko has a moment to think what kind of relationship they have for Sensei to reply so rudely at the older man but Sensei drags him away and Siruko scrambles to thank the ojiisan and bow. Sensei tugs him again and Siruko realizes they didn't have to wait in line for a long time to get some food (and maybe he saw some people in the queue glaring at them). He’s late in realizing that Ojiisan just said they were on a date… and Sensei didn’t correct him.
(Maybe Sensei… likes him a bit?) (Because he kinda likes Sensei too, maybe)
When Sensei finally stops walking (just when Siruko was about to whine. Sensei walks so fast and he’s wearing these really cool sneakers but Siruko is wearing a dress, you know!! Please be considerate!!), Siruko realizes someone was calling his name. He turns around and sees Quartetchi waving at him a few meters away from them, but since there’s too many people Siruko has to crane his neck to see him and he waves back. Sensei follows his line of vision and lets go of Siruko’s hand (wait, they’ve been holding hands the entire time? aaaaa)
“Ahh good, your friends found you.” Sensei says, but his tone seems to be disappointed. “I have my own event to go to, so please don’t get lost or be harassed again. I don’t have time to babysit you.” Siruko grumbles and complains that it’s not like he wanted those to happen!! Sensei scoffs in response and fishes his yakisoba out of the plastic bag. He pushes the plastic bag of food to Siruko’s hand and leans close to his ear. Siruko feels like all the air has been knocked out of his chest. “Ja na, mata ne.” Then he disappears into the crowd like Wraith turning invisible at the sound of the bell while Siruko tries to reboot his mind which just short-circuited. His heart is beating out loud in his ears. He doesn't know why but he feels like he lost something now that Sensei left. Before he has time to process why he felt that strange feeling even though he just met Sensei, his friends arrive to his spot.
“We finally found you Siruko-san!! Mou where did you go?! Don’t leave on your own like that!” Quartet chides.
“I told you guys I’ll be going to the toilet, and when I came back you all were gone! Mou don’t leave me like that!! I almost panicked!!” 
“Maa maa the important thing is we found him now.” Jiraichan intervenes. “C’mon, let’s go eat lunch! Minben-san’s waiting in line right now so we gotta find a table to eat at.” The pink-haired guy pauses and notices Siruko’s food, then squints at the purple head. “Siruko-san, do you know who you were just with right now?” Jiraichan asks suspiciously.
“Eh? He said his name is Sensei but I don’t… really know…” Siruko trails, noticing the shocked looks of his friends. Jiraichan was the first to react. “EEEHHH?!?! How could you not know him???? Limone-sensei da yo! Limone-sensei!!”
“Dare?” He asks dumbly.
“Niisan, you seriously have no idea? He’s a famous gamer! I watched some of his DbD videos and he’s seriously, insanely good. How could you not know him?”
“NANI?!?! I knew his voice sounded familiar! How could I know, I was too busy being in trouble to remember that!! And I’ve never seen his face!!”
“Well, he doesn’t really show his face much.” Ichihachi agrees. “Wait, what do you mean you got into trouble?”
"N-nothing! Who said I got into trouble??" Siruko sweat-drops. "C’mon, let's just go!! I'm hungry!!" He herds them all away to eat lunch, all the while trying to look back to the sea of strangers in the crowd, wishing he could see Sensei at least one more time.
He never even got to thank Sensei.
Being invited to judge a cosplay contest is a huge honor, and Limone-sensei was really excited about it. Or, at least, he used to be, because now he's pretty distracted with the thoughts of Feng Min cosplayer. He wonders if he plays DbD too, if Feng Min was his main, and suddenly he thinks he would like to play with him someday. Now everytime he sees a Feng Min cosplay he gets sort of excited, but then they don’t have purple hair and he gets disappointed. He tests the guy's name on his lips. Siruko. Sensei thinks it fits the guy and is kinda cute like him. 
The event was about to start soon and he was on the backstage talking to one of the event organizers. Or he pretends to be listening, because Sensei’s mind was wandering back to that voice. He wouldn't mind hearing it again, but in the midst of these many people in the arena, Feng Min cosplayer--no, Siruko-- is just one of those one-moment encounters that'll never happen again. He feels sad about it and he doesn’t know why.
Until he hears that voice again. For a moment he thought it was his imagination, and wonders how weird it was for him to have hallucinations of a voice of someone he just met. But the voice rings out again, and Sensei strains his neck to look everywhere for it, not realizing how rude it must have looked for the event organizer talking to him. Hope rises to his chest, despite him trying not to.
Beautiful purple eyes meet his, and for a moment Sensei is mesmerized, lost and drowning in them. But then he sees they were eyes calling out for help. Sensei excuses himself rather abruptly to the annoyance of the event organizer and stalks forward to Siruko. How can he resist those pleading eyes? He'd do anything in his power not to see those again, because despite his bravado, his online persona of being a badass who can do anything, Limone-sensei is actually a softie, especially for cute things and Feng Mins in distress.
"We don't have any time, Sir. Please go to the backstage!" The fierce-looking, small lady organizer drags Siruko-san to the other side of the stage where the cosplayers are lining up for the competition.
"A-ah! Wait!! I told you I'm not in the cosplay competition! Matte--"
Sensei grabs the shoulder of the small lady, who shoots him a nasty look before realizing who he was. Sensei knows the organizer was just doing her job, but dammit Sensei is annoyed. "Excuse me, I think you got the wrong guy."
Organizer-san takes a double look at Siruko, who withers under the intense scrutiny. He somehow senses that Sensei is in a bad mood as he fiddles with his fingers nervously.
"Wait, you're not Takahiro-san?”
"I've been telling you for the last five minutes!" Siruko tries to shake off the woman's frankly death grip and runs behind Sensei as if taking cover. Sensei glares a little at Siruko as if saying, "You got into trouble again?!" and Siruko scrunches his eyebrows together and purses his lips in indignation, as if protesting that "It wasn't my fault!"
"I assure you, this person is just cosplaying for fun. We're sorry for the trouble." He forces Siruko-san to bow together with him, and the event organizer-san apologizes too, although she really looked stressed about finding the missing cosplayer. But Sensei doesn’t feel sorry for her; blame his lack of anger-management control. He’s too keyed up now, and everything is too sharp, and he doesn’t understand his feelings.
Sensei snatches Siruko's arm and drags him to the nearest corner, as private as the backstage could allow them to be. He's really pissed that all these bad things keep on happening to Siruko-san. It's frustrating and infuriating! Why was the world so out to give trouble to Siruko-san?! What if he wasn't there to save Siruko-san?! He remembers the blank look Siruko-san had earlier, when he found him beside the wall, gasping for air and trying so hard to breathe, and Limone hated that. He never wants to see Siruko's pretty purple eyes being so helpless and scared. His anger bubbles up like steam and he wants to lash out at something.
“Itetete Sense----!! Stop pulling me!”
“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Sensei shouts, and Siruko stills. “Didn't I tell you not to make any more trouble?! What would you do if you were suddenly shoved onto the stage?! Don't you know how big this event is?! People would boo you out there and there’ll be pictures of you all over the internet and they’d make fun of you--”
“But it’s not my fault--” Siruko tries to protest.
“But you still should have been careful! I can't come to rescue you all the damn time! It’s like you’re looking for trouble just to see me! In that case, I don't ever want to see you again!”
Sensei freezes. It’s not what he wanted to say at all, but the damage has been done. He sees Siruko’s hurt look and he stiffens. In his frustration and anger, he took it out on the very thing he wanted to protect. He sees Siruko’s face close off and become distant, and he wants to take back the words, to apologize. “I- I didn’t mean--”
“I actually just came looking for you to give you this," Siruko thrusts a box to Sensei’s hand. “To thank you. But don't get me wrong, I never asked for your help in the first place. I never wanted ANY of that to happen in the first place. Anyway, thanks for everything. I’m sorry for being just a bother to you.” Siruko bows 90 degrees stiffly and runs, and Sensei tries to catch his hand but he doesn’t reach it and grabs air instead. He's too shocked at himself for saying those mean things and too shocked at seeing himself hurt Siruko-san.
He realizes he still has the box in his hands and he opens it to see a rabbit mask. The one that one of his favorite DBD killers have, which means Siruko knows who he is now. It was thoughtful, really, but right now it’s breaking Sensei’s heart. 
If only someone could shout “Bakagayo!” at him now, because he really messed up.
Siruko wasn’t going to cry, nope. He was a man, goddammit! And it’s not like he and Sensei were friends--they were two strangers who met in a coincidence. So it’s totally understandable that there’s a possibility that Sensei hates him. It was Siruko’s own goddamn fault for thinking he could be friends with Sensei, for his unrealistic expectations that maybe, Sensei would like to hang out with him (that maybe Sensei even liked him).
He reaches his friends and they see that something’s wrong by looking at his face, but since they’re the best people in the world and they’re his friends, no one comments on it. They try to distract him by pointing at interesting booths, and they even get to try some techie stuff and unreleased games even though they had to stand in line for a long time. It was almost fun, if Siruko wasn't distracted with the thought of how painful it was that Sensei never wanted to see him again. He just wants to go back to Tochigi now and maybe never ever leave his bed ever again.
Time passed by really quickly, and before they knew it, it was almost closing time. They were about to leave and go back to the rental car when Ichihachi-kun suddenly tugs him back. Turns out everyone stopped walking while Siruko kept moving forward. Siruko grumbles “What?” a little bit angrily and Ichihachi-kun points him in another direction.
Apparently Sensei’s been calling his name a lot, and now Sensei is wading through this huge mass of people just to get to him.
Siruko wants to ignore him, to just forget about everything and move on. Who was he anyway, to be friends with Sensei, who’s really cool and awesome and famous? Nothing will ever bud in their relationship, so there was no use hoping. Come daylight, they will be just two people who just happened to cross paths in a gaming convention. Nothing more.
But Sensei pushes back with all his might against the angry people who yell at him, and he sees Sensei's bright blue eyes, desperate for a chance to talk to him. And Siruko hates himself a little for not being able to turn him away, because he’s really weak for kind people. And no matter how much Sensei hated him, he finds himself unable to hate Sensei.
Sensei reaches them, gasping for oxygen like he just ran a marathon. People around them get annoyed at them stopping in the middle of the hallway, so they try to move to the side walls. Siruko sees Bintroll instinctively place themselves between him and Sensei, as if telling Sensei that “Nope, we’re not gonna let you hurt Siruko-san again”, and he feels so touched.
“Siruko-san.” Sensei gulps for air then tries, “I was… hoping we could talk… please.”
“Ehhh, I don’t know,” Jiraichan crosses his arms pretending to think, “...tell me, Sensei, why would I let you talk to my friend, hm?”
Sensei looks into Siruko-san’s eyes directly, and Siruko feels it… the sensation of the world being pulled to one person. His cerulean eyes were like magnets, and Siruko finds himself unable to pull away, attracted to it. “Actually, you shouldn't,” Sensei states seriously. “I’ve been a horrible person, and I’d even let all of you punch me right now because I deserve it. But please believe me when I say that I didn’t mean any of what I said. It’s true. I… I’m sorry, Siruko-san.”
And Sensei looks actually sincere. Siruko wants to stay angry for a little bit, but how can he resist an honest apology? He comes forward and makes gestures for his friends to leave them for a bit, that he can handle this. Mou, curse him for having a weakness for ikemen with glasses..
“Okay, you have 5 minutes to talk, then we really need to go back to our hotel. It’s been a long day, and I’m tired.”
“Right, right, of course of course.” Sensei looks flustered as he scratches the back of his neck as he stands awkwardly. "I… I didn't actually think I'd make it past the apology so I got nothing prepared… umm…"
Out of all the things Siruko expects, who would have known that Sensei is actually really very shy? Siruko giggles at the back of his mind. And because, contrary to popular opinion, he can actually be a little shit if he wants to, Siruko replies, "Well if you have nothing to say then I have to go pack my bags, Tochigi is a long way after all…."
Sensei repeats “Tochigi” as if trying to take note of it in his mind then shakes his head, almost raising his hand as if he wants to grab Siruko's hands but decides it was too embarrassing so he drops it. "Ano…. Let's exchange LINE?"
"Are you ordering or asking?"
"Asking?"
"Because you want to talk to me?"
"Yes?"
"Are you asking or answering?"
"Answering."
"And you want to talk to me because?"
"Because…. You're interesting?"
"You sound like you're not sure."
"I AM SURE!"
"THEN ARE YOU ASKING ME OUT?"
"YES!! IM ASKING YOU OUT BAKAGAYO!" Sensei yells, then blinks. Siruko couldn't stop himself anymore and laughs out loud. He wipes the tears in his eyes while holding his stomach. He can tell Sensei is blushing because his ears are red.
"Okay, but only if you beat me and my friends in DbD. What do you say, Sensei?"
And even though he's hiding behind the mask, Siruko knows Sensei is trying hard not to smile right now. Don't ask him how, he just knows. "Oh, it's on! I'd love to hear you scream when I memento you."
"Haha, you wish! You haven't played with me and my friends, you don't know how good we all are. We can fix the generators faster than you can blink, we'll be out in no time."
And Sensei actually laughs, the bastard. "Why don't you show me instead of telling me, Siruko-san." he says in a low dangerous tone, and it makes Siruko shiver in delight.
"I'd love to, Sensei." he whispers back.
Later, much later, after Sensei comes over to their hotel and sets up his laptop on Siruko's bed while all his friends are sprawled all over the floor in varying positions, and they're screaming and laughing and eating pizza and one match became five and suddenly it's dusk and they're all too tired but no one wants to miss Day 2 of the convention so they all go together with bags under their eyes, Siruko decides that may be conventions aren't too bad at all. Heck, even cosplaying as a girl character wasn't that bad, coz he slayed that look. And if it brought him to this moment, where he's dragging Sensei to all these booths amd Sensei rolls his eyes but obliges and he's being ridiculous trying to make Sensei laugh and Sensei, ever the straight man, says he's ridiculous even though he's also smiling, Siruko would gladly cosplay again.
He's being too cheesy, but he does think what's memento-be will be. 
The end.
Omake!!
Two years later.
"I AM NOT WEARING THAT RIDICULOUS THING."
"PLEASE SENSEI, IT'S TOO CUTE!! PLEASE PLEASE JUST THIS ONCE!!"
"I SAID NO!! GO TO HELL!!"
"I'LL GO THERE BECAUSE YOU'RE THERE YOU LITERAL DEMON!! IF YOU DON'T WEAR IT I'M NOT GOING!!"
"ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE! WE'VE BEEN PLANNING THIS FOR MONTHS! IT'S OUR FUCKING ANNIVERSARY GODDAMIT"
"YES AND THIS IS THE BEST WAY TO CELEBRATE IT!! MOUUUUUU YOU'D THINK AFTER ALL THAT SIRUKO-SAN ENDURED, THE LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP, THE MY-BOYFRIEND-IS-TOO-FAMOUS-SO-WE-HAVE-TO-MAKE-OUR-DATES-DISCREET, THE BASHING I GET FROM SOME OF YOUR CRAZIER FANS, YOU’D THINK SIRUKO-SAN DESERVES A REWARD BUT NOOOOO…. MOSHIKASHITTE, ORE NO KOTO KIRAI KA NA….”
“.........”
Siruko tries not to chuckle as his boyfriend, aka Limone-sensei, glares at him through the webcam. He’s playing dirty and Sensei knows it well, but in the end Siruko will win. It’s not his fault Sensei crumbles at the sight of his pien eyes, and he’s not above using it. It’s his perk, and he gotta use it to his advantage. 
“Fuck you.” Which, in Sensei language, means yes. Siruko lets a whoop of joy and Sensei bares his teeth at him like an angry animal. 
“I love you~ See you tomorrow!”
“Go to sleep, bakatare. I love you too.”
After a year of being friends and getting to know each other, and finally, finally Sensei asking him to be his, and them going out for a year, it’s nice. They’ve been through ups and downs, sure, but just like any game, they learn from their mistakes and improve. It wasn’t easy, it never was, but Sensei was the yin to his yang. Where Sensei was cold and easy to get angry, Siruko was warm and quick to forgive. Where Siruko has insecurities and anxieties, Sensei was the confidence that pulls him through and fights the negativity away. It was easier because of that. Even if they’re opposites, they complement each other. They don't even fight about anything, because despite his badass reputation, Sensei is a softie who’s very very weak to Siruko’s attempts at being cute, and Siruko had always been patient and understanding and it was easy for him to accept the downsides of dating someone as famous as Sensei.
And tomorrow, they’ll go back to where it all started, the gaming convention where they met. Siruko was planning to wear Feng Min’s bunny jacket as a lowkey cosplay and Sensei needs to wear that bunny Huntress mask if he values his life, so they can both have something bunny-like and DBD-like. It’s cute and ridiculous, exactly like his relationship with Sensei. Siruko can't help but giddy about it. It’s Love by Daylight after all.
THE END.
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starbats · 7 years
Text
instead of goin to bed i wrote a thing
it’s not long, or elegant, and it was originally gonna be a comic script but at some point it became an actual story
tho i might draw a thing or two for/from it later
@mrkanman
Nori had only just settled into his chair outside the café when a young woman with a slight scowl pulled out the other seat, and sat down across from him. This was not wholly unexpected; while she rummaged in her bag, eventually producing a small voice recorder from its confines, the priest laced his fingers together and gave her a small, somewhat nervous smile. 
“Ahh, miss Waylynn, I presume? It’s a pleasure to meet you – you, um . . . wanted to talk to me about something?”
“Yes. Thanks for agreeing to meet me here, mister Nakamura.” The recorder ended up between them, next to the napkin dispenser. She gestured at it. “Hope you don’t mind if I record our conversation. It’s easier than taking notes, and I’ll keep everything you tell me strictly confidential. I trust that you’ll do the same.”
“Oh, of course!” he nodded. “It’s absolutely fine, I really don’t have, um, anything to hide anyways, so . . . A-and uh, please – most people call me Nori.”
She stared at him for a few seconds in silence, long enough that Nori shifted in his seat, unsure of wether he’d somehow offended her – before she gave him a brusque nod and leaned back. “Nori, then. All right, Nori, I don’t think this is going to take long, but let’s start small and work our way up to the bigger questions.
“How did you meet Father Winwood?”
Winwood? Why would someone want to know more about Winwood, of all people – well, no, that was mean. Why would anyone want to know something about Winwood that they couldn’t just ask the man themselves? His surprise must have shown, because Waylynn’s scowl deepened. He hastened to put together a response.
“Um– well actually, it’s a little embarrassing. Y-you see, for . . . a variety of reasons, I was, um, behaving in ways that my parish found . . . odd. A-and accordingly, someone was sent to, um, monitor me, and . . . and make sure I was doing all right. And, well, everyone knows Father Winwood is an upstanding servant of God and, while . . . maybe not the best people person, I think most people who know him have a lot of respect for his devotion to the faith. So, he was the one who was sent, to, evaluate me, I suppose.” 
“And do you share their shining opinion of him?” she pressed, leaning forward.
“For the most part, I do. I think he has devoted himself to God utterly, and I have, I would say, a high opinion of him . . .” “But?”
“. . . but,” he agreed, after a moment, “it is possible to be . . . committed to God in such a way that one no longer respects one’s own health, and wellness. And– and I would not call us friends, and although I have a great deal of respect for Father Winwood, I can’t think of anyone that I know of who would. But, he must be content as he is, or he would . . . be more approachable, I suppose.”
“Do you suspect that there is some other reason that he does not make friends easily?”
Nori hesitated.
“. . . Miss Waylynn,” he attempted, after a moment, “as this is confidential, could I ask you a rather odd question?”
Her brow furrowed. “. . . I suppose.”
“Miss Waylynn, do you believe in the occult, or the supernatural? The – the unexplained, monsters, or – or devilry.”
Waylynn stared at the table between them for a long time, letting the silence stretch out, before she glanced up again. Her expression was neutral, but guarded. She was keeping a straight face.
“I don’t see how that’s relevant.”
“. . . I know.” He sighed, rubbing at one eye. “I’m sorry. I just . . . perhaps, it was my upbringing, or simply the influence of the church itself, but . . . I do believe in . . . many such things. I know, that if one doesn’t believe, then one doesn’t believe – I know it might seem absurd to you, but I’ve seen, and experienced, certain things that . . . that defy any other explanation that I could conjure. And – and another thing, I must confess, the reason that I have kept some moderate distance between myself and Father Winwood, is, sometimes . . . when I look at him, I have . . . a feeling. Or a flash of something – something ephemeral, fleeting, you know.
“Sometimes I fancy I see something around him, surrounding him, a-and something within me is drawn to that.” Right. ‘Something.’ Like that very ‘something’ hadn’t been taunting him from behind Waylynn since she sat down.
The cop in question frowned, but – oddly, didn’t scoff at this . . . somewhat inane explanation that he was giving her. “. . . And when you get this feeling, what do you see around him, Nori?”
Now it was his turn to stare at the table. She repeated herself. 
“What do you see?”
“Fire.” he admitted, quietly. “I see fire when I look at Winwood.”
Waylynn reached over and shut off the recorder. “Thank you, mister Nakamura. I think those are all the questions I have, for now.” It vanished back into her bag.
Nori wasn’t really looking at her anymore, focused on something else entirely that only he could really see – a flickering figure made from liquid shadow, with an oddly flattened cranium. Today it sported three eyes and a wicked grin, giggling while it made rude gestures in the priest’s general direction.
But then his eyes swung upwards, and for a moment, he froze – petrified as he registered the presence of something else. It was a long moment before he could tear his eyes away, and by the time that Waylynn had looked up from her bag, back at him, he had gone rather pale.
He swallowed nervously and laced his fingers together again, willing his hands to stop shaking. What on earth had he found himself a part of, even for a few moments?
She squinted at him. “Is something the matter, mister Nakamura?”
Nori’s breath rushed out of him as a squeak. “No, miss Waylynn, I– I’m sorry, nothing’s wrong, I’m just– I’ve, I’ve remembered that I left something in the oven, and I really should go back and take it out, I think I have to head home right now,” he stood up, cringing as the sudden movement caused an unpleasant scraping of metal on cement as his chair scooted backwards. “It was, very nice to meet you, and I hope I helped you, um, with, whatever it is that you’re doing, I really ought to be going goodbye–” and with an odd half-bow, the priest turned and hurried away down the street away from her. 
Waylynn watched him go, perplexed by this sudden turn of events. But . . . she couldn’t really find it within her to care too much about his strange behaviour. He’d given her what she needed – and moreover, some small amount of confidence that, no, she wasn’t the only one to find her suspect suspiciously unsuspicious. 
Nori, for his part, broke out into a run as soon as he’d rounded the corner. He was taking with him, as always, a demon that smelled of brimstone and blackberries – but unusually, this time, he was leaving another behind.
A grinning skull and cloven hooves.
It was following Waylynn home.
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