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cfcenturions · 6 years

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➰ ( NICO TORTORELLA, CISMALE, HE/HIM ) *✧.:°░｡ —- is that CHRISTOPHER ‘KIT’ WALLACE ?! you know them, right? they are the TWENTY NINE year old CENTURION SHADOWHUNTER !! they’re known for being COMPASSIONATE & BRAVE- but i’d be careful if i were you because they’re also BLUNT & BITTER.

kevin here again with his second muse!! this is my brand new twink kit, he’s part of the wallace fam so you know he’s bound to be a messy binch. i don’t make the rules ok, it’s just in their dna. they’re like the kardashian’s of idris. leo has definitely cried in lake lynn over losing a pair of earrings tbh, and noah was right there to remind him that shadowhunters were dying!!

INFORMATION

name: christopher wallace age: twenty nine gender: cismale sexual orientation: bisexual date of birth: place of birth: london, england

BIOGRAPHY

X kit was born and raised in london, england with his five other siblings until the death of his parents at the hand of his older brother, leo ( which he’s unaware of lmao ) which they then became wards of the clave and moved to los angeles, california. the wallace bloodline is one of the oldest, respected and wealthiest amongst the shadowhunters; something that holds a great importance to kit. not in the sense that he’s uptight, snobbish and egotistical ( unlike most of the wealthy shadowhunter families tbh ) but their family name and reputation is important to him, he’s always wanted to carry on his parents legacy.

X before the death of his parents they had began training kit and quill to one day become centurions, pushing them further and harder than their other siblings to become stronger and fiercer fighters than most shadowhunters of their age. being an ordinary shadowhunter was never on the cards for kit, his parents always wanted him to strive for excellence and become extraordinary. something he has honoured growing up and always strives to do.

X which is how he found himself enrolling at the shadowhunter academy shortly after quill was sent back to london by his brother to complete his training. feeling isolated and alone without the company of his mischievous twin, kit requested to enroll at the shadowhunter academy where he himself could complete his own training, graduate with some of the highest honours in the academy’s history and go on to join the scholomance to complete his training in becoming a centurion.

X once he graduated from the scholomance and became a fully fledged centurion, he was on track to becoming one of their most elite warriors, with exceptional marksmanship skills and their was even whispers of him becoming the head of an institute in the future — until the news spread that his older brother was the shadowhunter behind the recent chaos and attacks in los angeles. the clave turned on kit in a heart beat, unwilling to hear his protests when they tried charging him with high treason against the clave. everybody knew the wallace’s were a tight knit family, who favoured family above all else ( even the clave ) even when the silent brothers or the mortal sword couldn’t draw answers they wanted to hear from him, the resorted to torture.

X he spent weeks in captivity, suffering at the hand of his former centurions until he was able to appeal to a centurions humanity and free him from his chains. he regretted what he did next, but he prayed to the angel raziel for forgiveness and explained to the centurion it was a necessary means to his escape; he ran the centurion through with his own seraph blade, though he missed any vital arteries and made sure he only inflicted enough damage and pain upon the other centurion so his escape would look real, not staged.

X after escaping the clutches of the clave, he’s been deemed a traitor and a defector and stripped of his rank as a centurion; he knows returning to los angeles is not only risky but reckless, but he demands answers from his brother and is desperate to reunite with his family.

PERSONALITY

X kit is one of the more compassionate shadowhunters, never really believing in the clave’s motto of feelings being their weakness; he believes in the opposite, emotions are what make you strong. fear doesn’t shut you down, it wakes you up. his emotions are what have kept him alive this far. he’s always willing to offer a shoulder to cry one, a pair of strong arms to find comfort in and an ear to listen to your problems — but don’t mistake his kindness and openness for weakness, he’s just as lethal in battle as the rest of his family.

X despite being compassionate and brave, always ready to jump into battle and take a demon bite for another shadowhunter, he can be blunt and direct; so much that some people find it a jarring mirror to the compassionate boy that grew up in england, but he doesn’t do it with any malicious intent behind his words, he’s just the type of guy that puts all of his cards on the table, and doesn’t keep anything close to his chest. whether that’s his feelings for somebody or an opinion that would be better left unsaid.

EXTRA

X kit is a highly skilled marksman, his weapon of choice is a crossbow and when on demon hunting missions, he can often be found perched on a rooftop, an arrow locked and loaded into his crossbow ready to bury it into the ichor filled heart of a demon he was hunting.

X kit loves heights, when ever he’s troubled or needs his own space he could be found sitting on the institute roof top, or reading ancient books on demonic languages perched on the wooden beams inside of the shadowhunter academy and sometimes even training on the mountain tops peak of the caves that the scholomance was carved into.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

X lets start with the basic friends, enemies and ex boyfriend/girlfriends from over the course of his life; these could be from the early years of his life spent in london, the short years he spent in los angeles as a teenager, the other students he met during his years studying at the scholomance or even other centurions he trained with at the scholomance.

X i’ll add more connections here as i develop him, because honestly i’m too lazy to write them up rn and i’m toying with the idea of sending a few of them into the main but feel free to IM me for more information on these wanted connections or any you had yourself that you think kit could fill!!

#wilshire:intro

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troglobite · 2 years

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going through autistic burnout clearly makes me too autistic for my mom’s liking

the last time i went through burnout was the last time that we were constantly fighting or ending up in situations where i was a bawling mess and she was furious with me

and well it just keeps happening

and now i won’t have therapy for 11 more days instead of my usual week, bc she had to reschedule due to a family thing (serious one, i understand)

but i’m filled with so much self hatred that i feel viscerally and physically sick

[tw suicidal language, no intent, no ideation]

i wish i was dead. like intensely wish i was dead. or someone else. or anything else. or never existed.

intensely feel like i’ve never done anything worth being alive or deserving anything i have right now.

i’m trying to find a way to process that and deal with that and get over it

but it really REALLY fucking kills you when your mom, your best friend, the person who’s purportedly happy to let you live at home at 27 fucking years old, without whose support i probably would’ve been dead several times over before now--

to hear that she thinks i’m ungrateful. that i’m unaware about how privileged i am.

meanwhile those facts of reality are what make me wish i was dead most of the time.

i can barely function rn, meanwhile i get to work from home, live with my mom, not worry about most bills, and have the ability to take care of most of my own finances.

the only reason i haven’t gotten covid is because i’m privileged and lucky

and that fact makes me want to fucking die when i talk to my friends who aren’t lucky or privileged, bc here i am sitting at home safe and sound and all i can do is send them money to pay for cat food when they need it

and my mom said it just tonight

she offered me a way to make some extra money doing work for her company, $20/hour, but it requires tedious computer work with a lot of reading, which is what’s burning me out hardcore right now.

so i said, i get it, i know you’re saying it’s easy money, but i’m burnt out right now and i don’t think i can do it. i don’t want to commit to doing it and not be able to finish.

she just came in to say good night--she apologized.

and said

“i’m sorry. i know you work hard when you’re not burnt out.”

i’m so fucking tired.

as if that’s my only worth

as if that’s the only thing that proves i deserve to be alive

my mom has so much unpacked ableist capitalist bullshit

because she--AS SHE SO CLEARLY POINTED OUT TO ME TONIGHT when she finally told me she was upset because she was jealous

JEALOUS OF THE LIFE THAT *SHE WANTED TO FUCKING GIVE TO ME*

because she’s had to work since she was 16 and she overworks herself to the point of exhaustion all the time

that’s no fucking way to live, or thrive, or sustainably do any of that

and her boss takes her for fucking granted and cut her holiday/end of year bonus by THOUSANDS, so she had to spend all of her fucking savings on taxes!

and i’m able to help pay--so i do. i try.

like--OBVIOUSLY i know

i just

can someone please help me before i cry and freak out so hard that [emetophobia tw]

i lose the really delicious wonderful dinner she made tonight that i really enjoyed???

can someone please help???

it’s fucking midnight and i don’t have anyone to turn to or anything to do

i’m going through the DBT workbook w my therapist but we only made it through distraction and relaxation in the first chapter

i already [self harm tw]

used the distraction technique to keep me from seriously hurting myself by [insert non-lethal but still potentially damaging thing i used to do] by instead digging my nails into my skin, but not hard enough to draw blood

i already did that

i already tried to remain calmer during the conversation with a little bit of success

i couldn’t get up to leave because my mom was openly saying stuff about me that’s not true, that makes her not like me, that makes me hate myself so viscerally that i don’t know what to do with it

i tried to process and communication clearly and think things through

i wanted to make it clear to her that--like

of fucking COURSE i know how privileged and lucky i am

it makes me feel sick whenever i think about it

i’m grateful for it every fucking day

i would BE. FUCKING. DEAD.

MULTIPLE TIMES OVER.

IF MY MOM DID NOT SUPPORT ME.

i can literally make a massive laundry list of ways i would’ve died multiple times over by now without support

i almost want to

i don’t know what to do i don’t know what to do idk what to do idk what to do

i don’t desereve to be here, i don’t deserve to be alive, i don’t deserve any of the things i have, i’m a piece of shit and i don’t deserve any of this, and i do nothing with what i have

i hate myself and i deserve to be dead

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