It's so hard being a CSM manga reader fan and going into an anime store and it's all just Season 1 CSM merch < Guy who's favorite characters are all in part 2

Episode 15: "congrats daisy for winning season 7 of celestial: behemoth!” - Jules

congrats daisy for winning season 7 of celestial: behemoth!

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JIOFEOJIFEWOJIWOJI THAT SOUNDS SO BITTER BUT DYLAN SIR U HANDED HER THE GAME! HANDED IT TO HER! GOD! and its what she deserves!

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anyways. let it be known this was NOT MY FAULT.

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let the record show, before last night's tribal, I SAID SOMETHING WAS NOT SITTING RIGHT WITH MY SPIRIT!!!!!!!!!! AND???? what happened. look what happened.

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still practicing my slide puzzles WJIJIEFIJWJIFIFWJEJWIEEJWIF

OH MY GOD I HATE THIS GAME I HATE THIS GAME I HATE THIS GAME!!!

this final 4 is absolutely amazing and i literally love all of them so much, but that just makes things 10x worse. i think that playing my idol on daisy was a huge risk and the fact that it is now a final 2 makes things a bit more interesting. my ideal plan was to have daisy in the final 4 with me so that i wouldnt be the next target, but now that she won immunity it just didnt work out how i intended at all!!

voting out jules and szymon is purely going to come down to which one of them will sway my way and it's going to hurt to send one of them to jury no matter what, but i just feel like i came all this way and not making top 3 would just suck so badly. so yeah, this sucks. i hate that no matter what i do im going to be upsetting people and hurting feelings but... i guess that's just the game! at this point im not even sure if i can win against daisy but it seems like she will take me, it just depends on whether or not i stay loyal to her if i win FIC or if i take whoever is with me in final 3.

much to think about, BUT I JUST CANT BELIEVE I MADE IT THIS FAR !!!!

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Jules is voted out 3-1. She becomes the 8th member of our jury.

Watch the Cast Assessment take place below:

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Szymon is voted out by Daisy. He becomes the final member of our jury.

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idk thought this would be cute to include my voting log and stuff hehe <3 https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1RiA0RUWX4TRpqBTgRzLJJ3fHu2jBqZ-bCJozFd3HcRs/edit?usp=sharing

Jules: https://youtu.be/6zKeJuOJKeY 

https://youtu.be/5dV_-X6Rv2U

https://youtu.be/N5tnq-4QAT8

someone (zach) asked me to rank the jurors from nicest to meanest...so here we go. ily all <3 <3

1. seamus (this will def come as a surprise, but seamus was the most levelheaded and nice one on the jury. he really never made a bitter comment even though he had every right to, especially at me/daisy/dylan and really anyone who was in after him except chips. like. he was the only person to reach out in pms after and it was immediate, he really comforted me and i really admire men who can have like good relationship w/ women that are platonic??? i know he's been like terrible in the past and i did call him on some stuff in hydravivor and ill be the FIRST to admit that i called him a crackhead on a daily basis but i think he's grown a lot!!!!!! idk. i think he's also the MOST self aware!!!! im a seamus stan, what about it?)

2. brandan (while brandan was kinda irrelevant game wise this season -- but not in our hearts -- he was very objective and a peacemaker. he had good reason to be MIA too so the fact that he got as far as he did means to me that he did form some strong social connections. and he did!!! with me, i think w/ conor, so idk, he had a role like i did in the game imo. i really liked him and he really brought a fresh perspective on things!!!)

3. szymon (he's only not ranked higher bc he's pissed off rob and he stands his ground a lot more outwardly than the first two, at least in the jury chat. also he's not had as much time as a juror. but even then, i think szymon is not a bad guy like some of the ppl make him out to be. like, idk, i think he made a mistake on a game level and he even admitted it and idk he's a legend. truly. im so glad to have met him and i think he was a really nice juror to have around while he was ACTUALLY around bc he stood up for me/daisy the way seamus did)

4. lovelis (lovelis makes some pointed comments but.....he's not dumb at all and so i don't think he's been bitter. also his pointed comments have been funny and mostly radiating the energy of the other Bitter Jurors so idk. i really like him on a personal level as well and have for a while so idk. i dont KNOW KNOW him but he's never been the type to make harsh comments without them having some merit to them. so i kinda trust his judgement even though he wasnt in the game long/an early merge boot. idk i think he's open minded enough and he's also someone who admits when he's done a Lil Too Much but he's really lovely. just competitive.)

5. chips (i dont think chips is MEAN per se, in fact, i dont think he has a mean bone in his body on a personal level. like WFIJFJIFWE I DONT KNOW HOW ELSE TO SAY IT HES SO FUCKING NICE!!!!!!! but thats why it's so funny to see him in games bc he's a lil lying, a lil backstabby and sometimes he's a lil passive aggressive. but its not undeserved. its also a pisces thing WEFJIEIEJWEFJIWEF i think what i saw in the jury house was sometimes chips going along w/ things, but i dont know, i really do not know much about chips game and ill probs ask him more afterwards?? but idk he was REALLY nice to me tho so FWIJFWEWFIFW i just dont trust him in games.......i dont know whats on his mind half of the time......)

I WANNA SAY FOR THE NEXT 3 MEN THEYRE HEAVILY INFLUENCED BY THEIR FIRE SIGN PLACEMENTS SO while i know some of them do hold resentment, its a lot easier to deal with and work with and with all 3 of them we've talked it out with/are going to talk it out. only #8 has been the MOST stubborn but idk imma let him do his thing & try not to pass too much judgement u know cause i dont need to waste my braincells on that

6. conor (knowing conor's astrological placements makes this make sense to me. but i wanna say that i think he's the type of leo to like be upfront, get it out, vent, and be fine? which is why i respect him a lot and i think we do have a mutual respect for each other. some of the comments he made were kinda rude tho and him fake liking astrology for social game was SO UGLY TO ME!!!! like i'll clown him for it for as long as i know him now cause....JOKE'S ON HIM!!!!!!! WJOEFWEOWEFO but that was kinda mean but def conor's come around and seen the light / has also reached out to me to talk. he's also admitted he left a mean speech in sbbb9 and regretted it so i think he might just shoot off at the mouth a bit. but BETTER THE DEVIL U KNOW THAN THE ONE U DONT and i appreciate the transparency NOW as opposed to the fakeness of him saying he liked astrology for social game. THIS IS A HILL I WILL DIE ON!!!!! im a fan of leos tho and he's a leo moon like me. so. i think we'll be fine. )

7. rob (i actually really REALLY like rob on a personal level but i really do not know if i could play another game with him, at least survivor, id be open to playing bb. i think ill say that the best thing about rob is that he's also apologized, was one of the first to when i confronted them all, me and him have a good personal relationship tbh!! but some of the game comments he made were p harsh and he's definitely a lil bitter but again, he's admitted it, i think while he's more up front -- i dont think i ever wanna be on his bad side in a game. EVER!!! cause we didnt even have any loyalty to each other in the game but he was SO harsh on my game like it was wild bc i dont think id ever be that harsh to ANY OF THEM ABOUT THEIR GAMES LIKE THAT???? anyways. its fine bc again he's apologized and he's owned it but PHEW he got a lil bit of a sharp tongue. really eloquent tho!!!!!!!!!!! love hearing him speak)

8. gage (last but least the southern belle himself................this man an aries and i dont know his other signs but him being an aries man is enough. they POP OFF!!!!!! a lot of times there's some truth to it, sure, but sometimes they just be popping off and FOR WHAT!!!!! i do understand gage's frustrations though but even he apologized for being too mean in HIS FUTURE FUCKING CONFESSIONALSSSSSSSS TO MEEEEEE so. idk. he's got an issue with letting things go in games and miss annajane calls him on a lot of BS and it does NOT seem to really knock him down but. gage is really wht u see is what u get, doesnt really own his faults but at least u kinda know where ur at w/ him. but he's still probs the meanest one in there but i do understand from a game level why he was so fucked up about it, especially after hearing FTC. its just that. i understand his position. BUT HE NEEDS TO TAKE A XANAX SOMETIMES I S2G GAGE I WILL GIVE YOU ONE!!! girl it is NOT that serious!!!!!!)

also forgot to mention that i admitted to gage that chris from s1 was NOT actually my brother and his jaw was on the floor <3 I GOT TO DO ONE TROLL THING RIGHT!!!!!! rip me/seamus' showmance serious!!!!!!)

okay just to add onto my last confessional -- the songs i think represent me best from this playlist game wise are: - perfect for you - punchin' bag - stayin' alive - flip - femme fatale/future nostalgia (for the girls alliance that never was....rip but also me/daisy at merge vibes) - X - the shortchange - TAKE ME AS I AM!!!!! THAT SONG IS THE ONE THATS BECOME MY SONG!!!! for this game especially!!!!! - over yet (the lyrics literally speak for themselves) - tough on myself (sorry for stealing ur song vincent) - seven devils - villains pt. 1 (i dont think i was a villain but i did stuff in this game that i usually dont and would consider villainous for myself FEWIWFEJIFEW i was in my feelings!) - passion & pain taste the same when i'm weak (me coming into the jury house and realizing they'd all snatched my wig w/ the edges and the glue.....i DID cry to this song for at least 2 hours! yes i did! WIFJWJIWEIJE) - tar ('under the stars -- pull yourself from the tar'. at the end of the day, this season was fucking stacked and there wasn't one person who was a bad player at all. at all.stars, if you will. i was under a lot of stars and from all the breakdowns in my game to me actually breaking down -- i GOTTA PULL MYSELF FROM THE TAR!!!! learn!! grow!! be better!!)

TOP 5 (not 'perfect for you'): - punchin' bag - take me as i am - over yet - tough on myself - tar

good for my whole journey imo!! the last 3!!! okay this is my ACTUAL last confessional okay thank u for everything!!! bye!!!

https://youtu.be/T5wRzWwlOp8

and here's my personal playlist for the org: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2E8KGCo1SrBgoJIQ9DycfM?si=96PWq-6ERCyisacQr3zPww

it is literally an hour and a half until the winner reveal and i really just have no idea what's going to happen. like in the back of mind i just have a feeling that im losing bc, yeah you know self-deprecation woo! but yeah idk i think i really gave this game my all and while i dont think i played it flawlessly, i still think i played a strong game i can be proud of :,)

having it be a live final tribal for my first ever like, jury questioning was just--- ugh wild but i actually think it went really well. just based on what people were saying it definitely seemed as if some of the jurors didnt really want to see me and daisy at the end or like, really werent consider voting for me but i think i was definitely able to sway some people who were willing to listen and definitely gave some of the jurors something to think about. so whether or not i win i do think that i had a really great final tribal performance, maybe it was even enough to sway enough people into giving me their vote?? WHO'S TO SAY

anyways this has been such a wild experience and it's surreal to think that it's ending in like, a little over an hour but no matter what happens i can say confidently that i will be able to look back on this season fondly and will be leaving it with my head held high bc I REALLY DID THIS LIKE!!! I REALLY MADE IT TO THE END!! WOW I STILL CANT GET OVER IT HAHAHA!! but yeah bye forever <33

Rob’s Last Video:  https://youtu.be/X3krxxfJ3oo

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Daisy wins in a 7-2 vote!

EP. 9 - “Call Me A Spoon Cause I Really Tried To Stir The Pot” - AUGUSTO

Ruben went home...... expected? He was inactive af. He was definitely a closer ally of mine, and it sucks that he went down the way he did, but there was really nothing else that was going to be done to save him. There was a half attempted effort right before tribal, but also people didn't wanna do it bc he was throwing his closest people under the bus, which was bizarre to me. It was just a bad move ANYWHOM. I was busy last round until tribal essentially, and just didn't have time to do my confessional where I just go and RANK how much I trust everyone lol god speed Tier 1: Top Trust 1. Augusto - He is obviously my #1. He has been giving me some antsy responses lately, and he didn't immediately tell me about the Regan idol thing and STILL didn't tell me about the OG Malabar alliance that was made that includes Nicole, but it's fine because we've got each other as our number ones, and I genuinely don't think he has that kinda relationship with anyone else, and I'm fairly certain Augusto would never vote me out. 2. Dan - Honestly the difference between 2 and 3 are splitting hairs, but Dan seems like he is going to be the most beneficial to my game in the long run. He is definitely a more well versed player than #3, and I know that he is going to tell me most things. The way I found out Augusto was keeping things from me, was from Dan, and I know that my relationship with Dan is good, we've been to finals together, and he has told me on more than a few occasions that he trusts me the most in the game, which is normally a pretty good sign. 3. Crooks - Gosh I love Alex so much. I am so happy he got to return to the game, and I'm happy he just gets to play this merge the way he wants to. I do know he's a little socially awkward, he makes some questionable game moves, and honestly hasn't made it the FARTHEST in games recently, but I do think that Alex wouldn't turn his back on me if I showed him the utmost loyalty that I could, which I'm going to try to do. My biggest challenge for the rest of the season is going to be convincing all three of these people that I am running all the way to the end of this game with them, and hopefully that'll keep me from being blindsided haha Tier 2: A Good Amount of Trust 4. Vilma - Vilma is a gem. Tbh I think she trusts me more than most people as well. I don't think I'm her top person, but I do think I'm really up there. Vilma told me about the idol, we had three alliances in common (one with Zach, power bottoms with Asya, and golden girls with Dan and Augusto), but I do actually think that Vilma is just a straight up, and loyal, player. The only problem is that I think everyone sees Vilma as that. I feel she's just a wild card in my book because she CAN do something, but my gut is telling me she's going to want to ride this out with me as long as she can, especially since I know about her idol and normally people don't fuck with people who know they have the idol Tier 3: The Average Tier 5. Asya - Y'know......... idk. We have the Power Bottoms alliance, she has been very straight up with me in PMs, and I feel that Asya wouldn't do this to me. There are too many factors in the game right now, where I feel I can at least trust that she wouldn't vote for me until the final 9, so that's that on that. 6. Ricky - Ricky also really seems to have a good connection and trust with me. The main reasons I've got Ricky here (and kinda Asya too), is because I just feel that they both aren't the MOST active, and are definitely relying on some of their earlier relationships, which is me, also they're worried about being under fire, and I think that they will be soon because both of these guys are being coupled together, but we've been on good terms on a tribe before, and honestly this entire game, but I'm just pessimistic about anyone wanting to actually work with me long term, so I get confused. Tier 4: These People Make me Feel Confused 7. Regan - Who would've thought there's a world where Regan wasn't last, but instead she was right in the middle of the pack. Tbh, with how this game has gone, Regan should be higher, but just because of our past, this is a safe place to be. Regan and I have gone AT IT in the past, and she is a very sporadic player, and truly could do anything at any time, and she can decide she doesn't want to work with me anymore. I have an alliance with her and Augusto, which is making me feel good about our working relationship, and with Augusto hopefully staying very tight, he can make sure that there's no funny business. I do know that if Regan plays an idol at an unexpected time, I should probably get a little worried, and follow suit afterwards to make sure that it isn't an idol play on me. She has actually seemed to have been playing a good game so far, and I've got some confidence that Regan is going to shake the world a little bit this game, and I'm kinda here for it. 8. Jared - So like? I know he's a slimy motherfucker and he trusts other people way more than he could ever trust me, but I like him a lot as a person and we have great talks. I made a deal with Jared and Nicole to not go after them, and I know they have relationships with lots of people, and lots of trio chats, and they probably have to keep up in all of them to seem like they don't have trios with EVERYONE, but it's just a mess. I think once Jared or Nicole goes, I'm going to be incredibly close to the one who ends up staying, but I just don't know whoever stays, I am going to try to forge an incredible relationship with. I don't mind whether it's Jared or Nicole that ends up staying, but I bet Jared going is probably better for my long term game just because he's such a bigger snake in the grass. Also I know he knows about Regan's idol, so that's something too, but my connection with Jared, in this given moment, is better than my relationship with Nicole 9. Nicole - I feel we haven't connected in awhile, which is worrisome to me because I know she plays hard. I know Nicole is threatening, and she is probably more threatening than I've even thought about her being ever. I didn't think Nicole was a big ticket player, but honey she is PLAYING. I just need a better relationship. I know her or Jared should be out of the game soon, and I kinda hope Nicole is the one that falls by the wayside because I almost trust that Jared might lean on me more. 10. Roxy - ROXY IM SORRY YOU'RE DOWN HERE BECAUSE YOU SHOULDN'T BE, but you are the biggest ORG tease I've ever ever played with. You make me feel so good in our relationships every game we've played together, but then you've taken me out of both of them (in one you attempted, but failed) without hesitation, and I don't trust you. I know we're good friends, and I honestly think that you trust me more than you trust most other people in this game, but I still don't want you here, and if the opportunity arises, I really do know I'm going to want you out, and vote for you at the first chance I can. At this point, I'm going to keep talking to you as if we're working together, but I'm not giving you any information...... i cant trust it. I hope I can see your intentions were good after this game, but genuinely, I don't know what to believe with the last two ORG experiences we've had together. Tier 5: Who? 11. Frankie - I'm almost certain you're going home next lol. Talk to people :)

Regan is so fucking annoying sometimes. Like she acts like she knows better than everyone else all the time. I care about her as a human, but don’t pass judgement on me when what I’m doing has literally no bearing on your life whatsoever. Stop acting holier than thou and go back to fucking Red Robin and get your 20% tips and continue to pass judgement on the people who might want to go out with their family for a nice meal, but not be able to tip a full 20%. If you don’t like it, don’t fucking work a job that pays $2 an hour. Jesus Christ. It’s Christmas so I’m gonna go back into my Baby Jesus lane and shut the fuck up, but Regan’s on my shit list now.

6:31 PM okay i want Jared AND Nicole out I'm so TIRED of this like they clearly dont trust me nicole hasnt spoken to me since merge jared made me PROMISE that I wouldn't go after him, presuming in his tone that he already didnt trust me i am not liking my position. I need to go back and remember which people i told that I wanted Roxy out over Ruben bc i think more people might want to work with roxy now (which i knew would happen) and i dont want it all getting back to her because i think she thinks im one of her closest Augusto just told me that jared proposed to roxy a voting block of roxy augusto jared nicole asya ricky which makes me think even MORE that nicole jared ricky roxy asya need to GO But tbh I trust Asya, and kinda Ricky I have a feeling that Ricky wouldn't vote for me if it came down to it i also feel im lowkey playing a horrible game lmfao thank you for coming to my christmas day confessional :)

(A LITTLE LATER)

sorry...... im still going My biggest problem is that this game has been moving lowkey slow, strategically speaking and time wise, and now we've gotta wait an extra day to boot up the game again, even though no one is doing anything at 10pm the night of christmas, but whatever, that's old news and fucking frankie is probably going to go this round and then we're just going to have to wait another few days for the BATTLE to ensue, but honestly, more people going that I'm not directly aligned with is good because I just need as many insurance policies as possible I very much want to play the merge in the most cutthroat way i've ever played. I want to make those game moves and I want to get that respect. Let's be honest....... everyone knows im a fucking snake, so it isn't like this is anything new to anyone. I'm keeping loyal to my top 3 (maybe top 4 @vilma) (jk loves vilma), and then im going to wreck everyone else, and there's going to be almost nothing that's going to stop me. I'm out for blood, and it's starting with upping my social game for the rest of the game I am done with school, and I am on vacation until (presumably) the end of this game, so if I just keep up my social game, and make this game my #1 priority, im going to be in an incredible spot, but right now, im feeling like I need 2-3 people to go home before I feel super secure. The REALLY good thing is that I still have my idol, and me and my UTMOST closest ally (augusto) know where all three of them are, which is HUGE for the program, so I've just gotta make sure that I can use all this information to my advantage. I've gotta start getting in some tighter blocks, and more importantly make myself more available to people like ricky and asya, who I feel I haven't done the BEST job with, but I know they're two of the socially weaker people in the tribe.................... im just getting nervous and i want this game to GO

https://youtu.be/vmqseVAWX98

wish i didnt have to go to tribal xoxo

Roxy keeps helping me with the bransteele comp and I forgot she thinks we're friends..... i know i don't trust her, but she's good for now roxy you just got back in my good graces :))))))

(A LITTLE LATER)

Hi it's johnny im currently breaking down jared went to frankie and told frankie that me/vilma/dan have a f3 and that Jared wanted to make a big move this round..................... frankie then told augusto and augusto told us thank god, but like fuck you jared honestly. it's just horse shit because there's no good reason for him to be going after me other than our past and I fucking hate when people do that, however, i'm just anxious because I know that Vilma is safe, and Dan and Jared were on OG malabar together, and I know they've previously gotten along, meaning that the only other option is me it's just fucking annoying because jared is honestly supposed to be a friend, and in my head, i was refusing to vote for him or nicole this round because i like them both as people, and figured that i'd do something about it later when it became obvious one of them had to go, and not me initiating it myself, but now at this point i dont know what I do know is that I'm fairly confident in quite a few people not saying my name this round, and those people being 100% alex augusto dan vilma roxy, and then im fairly confident regan has my side too. realistically this should be giving me numbers, but I know that there's a lot more that comes into play than that on top of that i do have an idol, and I didn't want to play it this early, but it looks like I may have to.. the only good thing is that i know about vilma's idol and i know abotu regan's idol bc they both told me about it, and i feel if either of them knew i was in trouble, they'd consider using it on me because they're both more loyal players than they are selfish perhaps? (maybe moreso vilma than regan lol) roxy made an alliance chat with vilma augusto and myself, and roxy wants to go for ricky, which honestly, if we pretended like we were going for jared and nicole, and flushed out a ghost island advantage that either of them may have (which we're almost certain nicole has one bc she lied horribly about her visit to ghost island, according to augusto), so at this point i really really dont know. I feel im sitting on a lot of information right now, but im a scared pussy and dont really know what to do with all of this stuff that i'm being told because im quietly trying to sit on it and let augusto do all of the good work in trying to swing frankie onto our side. god bless them not knowing im with augusto i just need augusto to continue playing double agent until it keeps me safe lol also fuck you jared

https://youtu.be/oFPDXhxHgDs forgot to send last night

Johnny is a little fucking scumbag isn't he? So I'm hearing tea from Jared that Johnny approached him this morning about me and Vilma trying to steer the vote towards Nicole. That's a damn fucking lie. I never once tried to steer the vote that way. I think that Johnny is getting a little big for his britches. I could totally be getting played by Nicole and Jared rn, but I don't know why they would lie about all of this. Unless they really are trying to blindside me? Idk wtf is happening, but I just want to beat my fucking placement.

https://youtu.be/LWdipgmXYSs

This is my host chat today and idc who is offended by the following messages: I HATE THIS GAME im so annoyed why is jared doing this like why I was trying to be NICE 2:37 PM im going to be the target this round literally fuck jared i hate him so fucking much why is he such a dick i need to write a confessional 2:45 PM k i confessed my hatred and feelings im just annoyed that this is how this is going down and I just KNEW that this shit would happen with jared the good thing is that he isnt aware of my relationships 3:08 PM I feel I have the most handle on this situation though lowkey 5:20 PM okay they're targeting dan im not worried anymore lol 5:33 PM dan is going to blow up the game please dont dan please he wants to expose the fact that we know the other side is planning something I know we have six people they're trying to get out dan and they're pinning dan/vilma/i as a trio they being jared and nicole, probably asya and ricky, but they don't really have brains augusto and roxy are playing the middle hard right now to make sure that nothing happens to me specifically, but if the vote stays on dan then im not going to be bothered about it, but honestly i dont want to lose a number, and I'd rather silently push than anything so idk im trying to think ive got a little over an hour to do something about it 6:00 PM gosh this is getting messy im not okay with it im trying to swing alex right now so we dont have to go to rock 6:15 PM LMAO HOW IS AUGUSTO IN THE MIX SOMEONE TELL ME WHERE THAT CAME FROM BECAUSE I DONT KNOW omg this is getting too messy 6:22 PM ill take 12th. let's have some fun I hate this game I hate this game I hate this game I hate this game I hate this game I hate this game I hate this game I hate this game If anyone including the hosts knows what's going on I will send you on a European vacation jared doesnt even know the whole story but i am talking to jared now we're like businessmen sitting at a table Ugh I hate Jared But I am playing nice like i actually love him im going at it with jared in a good way i want him back in mine and dan's good graces ugh vilma is a lowkey useless ally Alex is such a shitty socializer i just need to put that out there like there are things that should stay in your head and he's got a lot that he keeps putting on paper LMAO ALEX IS A LEAKY FAUCET HE SAID HE WANTS A F2 WITH ME BUT HUNNI LISTEN YOU DONT GO TELLING SOMEONE IMMEDIATELY WHAT I SAID AFTER I TOLD IT TO YOU im so mad because this is just dumb survivor gameplay on alex's part because ricky was so quick to tell people that alex told him this information lmao

(A LITTLE LATER)

can we talk about me being the king of exploiting every piece of information I found out today to someone with a big mouth, so this way it would get around and i wouldn't be targeted? wooooooooo

Alright so this round has been really hecking hectic. I found a clue to the idol and highkey I wanted to share it with Jared/Nicole but I needed to reaffirm my alliance with Asya and Ricky. And then we were FINALLY gonna blindside Dan. Then Frankie told Dan. Then Dan told Johnny. Then Johnny told me despite me already knowing all of this. Then he told me he wanted Ricky out. So I told Ricky. Ricky told Dan and Johnny. So Johnny knows I spilled the beans. That's fun. And now Frankie's going home for being a blabbermouth. That's what happens when you speak huh!

Okay so basically Things became messy And I don't know who's telling the truth Either Johnny or Jared+Nicole are bullshitting me and I don't know which It seems everyone's voting Frankie now Which I guess I'm fine with But I don't even know who I'm working with next round Because nobody includes me in anything All I know is I never told anyone I wanted to vote Nicole out and the person who spilled those rumors must get out of here, FAST I'm rather pissed I feel like I don't trust anyone Where are all my real allies? Oh I don't have those Everyone's so shady Can I get voted out even though I'm immune? I hate this I didn't sign up for THIS I don't think a single person is being straight with me So from now on I'm a free agent I'm back to square one

Ricky and I called for like a half hour and compared notes and honestly, Johnny has got to go, but not right now. If that’s a big miss steak, oh well, but I do think I’m gonna make it through this vote which is exciting. If I get fucking 12th again I’m gonna kermit I think. I can’t believe I trusted the straight fraternity brother. Ugh

ok soooo i might have an alliance of 6 lets hope it works and im not the second boot again after my return lmaoo

this is a fucking mess

wowowow these people make me sooooo MADDDDTTTT just do what i want!!!!

(A LITTLE LATER)

everyone is ignoring me except johnny and augusto and ik im being voted against like 11-1 and it feels gross lol i hate everyone here and im not voting for most of them at the end. there was like 2 people i didnt message and ig that means im "inactive" or some shit 

Oh SHIT I got so distracted by the messiness that I forgot to tell I accidentally won immunity AGAIN fuck my life I was trying to throw Vilma Hmm I'm trying to throw this challenge but at the same time look like I made at least some effort but suck I hope at least some people tried for real Pippa You make me laugh so hard Vilma IS THIS A JOKE I SWEAR I THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER WIN WITH THAT Fuck I'm ruining all my chances at going deep with these immunities (cwl) I hope people realise my score was bad FUCK This is the thing, I didn't want to abstain because then it would look like I'm just lazy but I wanted them to think that I actually suck. Gosh I'm failing at life I guess I should just use these opportunities to build better relationships with people but everyone knows I'm horrible at that dnn congrats compbeast <3 Vilma SHUSH

SO ITS FRANKIE BUT I MIGHT GO HOME with an idol in my pocket

Call me spoon cause I really tried to stir the pot this tribal to no avail.

Whatever Forever- jaiden (Episode 3)

Anyway!!!!!!!! I just got elimed and whew I'm just feeling so many emotions. Maybe I shouldn't have thrown the immunity to save lexi, maybe I should've kept ace over Ashley,maybe I never really had a chance in this game in the first place. Overall? I just feel bad for promising lexi that I'd help keep her in the game and then immediately flopping, and for Kendall, leaving my one tru ally by herself, I hope the swap goes in her favour and that both of them can vote out the rest of the returnee heroes, some revenge is always nice TBH. Ashley, gav and Alex, I really did trust two of you and I was gonna stay loyal so it sucks that y'all flipped so easily, of course the fact that Ashley had an idol probably wasn't the best thing, but we could've figured something out. I hope the three of you get elimed soon or at least prejury bc you know the great dan whatever his last name is said flippers never win and well it's no fun seeing snakes get far either TBH ! And I know y'all won't be reading this til later but good luck newbies I hope y'all truly slay this game bc really some of these returnees I would really rather see get elimed except maybe Kendall and Jordan pines. This has been a fun game for the most part, the challenges were great, the hosts were greater (even David Robb) and I met some good people in my short stay here! Do I have some regrets? Yeah but I wouldn't have wanted to play this game any other way. Keep an eye out for me in the returnee season :~) single digits I'm still coming for ya!

So not much has happened this round. We won, yet again. And my #1 ally out of everyone in this game, my good friend Monte, was sadly voted out. But best believe I'm gonna win this game for him!

What in the heckie is Nicole doing?

What the FUCK? These people need to CHILL out. It's our fault - we made the mistake, the hosts don't have to babysit us every step of the way. Now we gotta own it and win this tiebreaker - honestly, Danny g'luck (I WAS FORCED TO MAKE THIS S/O) to these people, because they are getting on my nerves with their complaining rn. 

We keep winning. I love that. But Jordan Pines might wanna blindside me... so to that I say:

Am I exaggerating? A little bit. I think. I don't know. I'm being weird and emotional so idk what the fuck I'm actually thinking... I hope I get voted out next at this point yay

Okay, everyone listening? Two common misconceptions about pegging: If a man likes pegging, he must be gay. If you peg a straight man, he will become gay. Cue Laughter and Eye Roll - Both of these are so ridiculous as to be laughable on so many levels. Gender preference has nothing to do with the sex toys you like to play with...or the area of your body you like your partner to play with. For those of you who have fears around this - please excuse the laughter...though I do find the concept quite humorous. Think of it this way...If a straight man enjoys getting pegged by a woman there is no reason whatsoever to think that all of a sudden he will crave sex with men. Just like if a straight woman enjoys receiving oral sex from a man there is no reason whatsoever to think that she will suddenly want to be a lesbian. See how silly that sounds? (Now if the man is bisexual, just ignore all this and go to the next blog post because he prefers both genders so these points are moot.) A man who wants his ass fucked is gay, you say? Bullshit. (I seem to be in a sassy mood tonight.) Remember, the male ass is the source of an amazing amount of pleasure via the prostate gland. Whether a man experiences that pleasure from his lady's finger(s), his own finger(s), a toy (there are so many), his lady’s strap-on, a butt plug, his partner's finger(s) or his partner's cock makes no difference. All of the above are simply various examples of the pursuit of pleasurable sensations from an ass. Many really nice toys are specifically made for anal pleasure! That should give you a bit of pause. Maybe the people buying these items know something....just like the 150 - 200 million gay men in the world. But wait - I'm probably confusing you... Unexplored Ecstasy - The point here is that anal exploration is about pleasure, not an indicator of gender preference. What I find a shame is that so many straight men will not indulge in that pleasure because of these misconceptions along with the bullshit social stigma attached to it. Maybe it's just me (standing here ready with my strap-on), but that sounds like a lot of pleasure being abstained from...and oh my the word abstinence  in any form is not a popular one amongst the pleasure seekers that have found their way to Pegging Paradise! I am certain there are men out there who secretly would love to have their ass teased with...well, a variety of things. These men hesitate to ask for it because they fear their partner's reaction to their request or the reaction of others if they found out. All of this is fed by the original misconceptions as well as a puerile dose of idiotic homophobia. Get over it, people! I know...easier for me to say here in Southern California when some of you might be in conservative strait-laced sex-negative hell somewhere. But hey - we need to start somewhere, right? Are you going to let other people's narrow-minded attitudes affect your pursuit of pleasure in the privacy of your own bedroom (hotel room, board room, etc)? I think not. No Fear - So Ladies, I urge you to get over your own fears that if you fuck your man in the ass with a strap-on dildo the gay fairy will instantly appear and sprinkle him with magic gay dust and you will lose him forever to his own gender. Okay? If you can't let go of that fear, you have no business strapping on a dildo. I mean really...are you going to follow him around after you fuck him and be suspicious of all of his encounters with males? Let it go, ladies. And when you get your man where you want him and you have your way with him...don't kiss and tell. Especially if you live in one of those strait-laced sex-negative hell places I spoke of previously. Instead, treasure the vulnerability your man has shared with you and let him know that come hell or high water or nosy girlfriends, he can trust you to keep that part of your sex life confidential. Pleasure Seeking - Gentlemen, the other part of the formula here is you. If you are clear about which gender you prefer, that's your stable base. Do your best to let go of any homophobic comments you have heard, read or even, heaven forbid, said. Your anus is a part of your body that, when properly stimulated, offers a whole new world of pleasure. Orgasms with anal stimulation are most times much more intense and produce much more cum (that's always fun). Given just that, why wouldn't you want to at least check it out? If you love it, all that means is that you love getting fucked with a strap-on by the woman who makes you hot. There is no "Insta-gay" phenomenon that happens if your lady pegs you. As one man put it: I like breasts with my strap-on, thank you! Pegger/Peggee - Wouldn't it be awesome if people who were into pegging walked around in T-Shirts that said, simply, "Pegger" or "Peggee"? I mean - relatively few people who are not kink-oriented know the sexual meaning of the word so lovingly created by Dan Savage. So the masses of people leading lives of quiet desperation (read: sex-negative) wouldn't have a clue what it meant. And if asked, one could always say with a smile, "Look it up on Wikipedia". Just make sure it's a cat-that-ate-the-canary smile as you say the words and they just might look it up. Presto, you have just spread the word about a luscious, sexy, pleasure-filled act that couples can add to their carnal repertoire. You may have changed their lives forever...in a rather explosive way.

AHAHAHAHAHA @GAVIN

THOSE BOYS WANT TRIBAL TN BECAUSE WE LOST IMMUNITY AND IM SO FUCKING NERVOUS I DONT WANT TO DIE I HAVE SO MANY PLANS IF JORDAN SACRIFICE ME FOR NICOLE OKOKOKOK 

So... mission successful. Let's quickly debrief: 1. Ashley trusts me a lot more after I told her details that Alex told me in private. Making Ashley feel like she was on shaky ground further resulted in her letting me know that she has an idol. Whether or not it is true is besides the point... the true crux of the matter is that I have Ashley left in the game with three people she can't trust and me... so that means I ought to be her #1. 2. Alex and I are as tight as ever. Even despite giving Ashley information, I was able to quickly fix that bond. I genuinely like and trust Alex, but I can't let the cloud my judgement. He's very close to Kendall, which scares me, but I have looked to leverage that in our post-tribal call. In my conversations with Alex, I want to make him feel like he is calling the shots while still looking to provide input. Thus far, I think I have done that. With Ashley allegedly having the idol (information that was supposed to be "kept secret" but was totally not "kept secret" xD), I have talked to Alex extensively about the next vote and I've made a deal with him to take out Karen rather than Kendall... while also *hopefully* keeping Ashley's idol in play. My goal here is to come out of this with both Ashley and Alex working independently, but all in all, nonetheless in my best interests. In short, the way this tribe seems to be shaking out is that there is this façade of autonomy and power that Karen and Kendall have. They have this illusion that they call the shots, while it really is Alex and I that hold the cards in this dynamic. Kendall, to get Alex completely on my side... I need to spare you to gain his trust, BUT MARK MY WORDS I'M GOING FOR YOU! *Nothing against you, just your social game is very very strong but annoyingly obvious too ;3* Oh. And Ace got voted out too... I guess.

I never really made an opening confessional, so here I go I guess? I am really... really excited to be back. It's so easy for so many people to say "Oh yeah I've played a ton, people want me back." We see it with a ton of people, and that's not a bad thing. People want to see them back for a big reason. But I never had that. Coming off of Malaysia I was hated and people did not really respect me for who I was and thought that I was some awful person and player. It definitely hit me hard a bit, but at the time I was like, okay that's fine, there's other seasons. Tumblr does a lot. And so I applied. I applied for Sri Lanka with Marie and didn't make it. I applied for Rebels vs Rogues and didn't make it. I applied for Bora Bora and didn't make it. I believe I applied for Generations and wasn't casted, or I didn't believe I was going to have time due to time conflicts. I wasn't contacted for Maldives. I missed the application for Tenochtitlan. I applied for Sicily and didn't make it. I believe I applied for Bangladesh and didn't make it. I wasn't contacted for Arabia (though there may have been apps and I missed it). I wasn't contacted for Myanmar. And I was super excited to finally get this chance to play in Lazio but I missed the acceptance of my application. And going back to all the times I had tried to play or just was kind of ignored it was rough. I kind of thought I was done. And now I'm here playing in India. After over a year on and off of trying to play this game again. And to be honest, I'm hella pumped. Because I've missed out on so many chances to play. I think it says something when even parts of my Malaysia cast aren't even excited to see me on the season. This is kind of my opportunity to prove people wrong. My personality showed even at this Tribal where I literally told Gavin his answer to the Tribal Question was awful and completely wrecked Ace after he wished us a heartfelt goodbye. I want people to know that I am playing as hard as I can. I'm not here to change who I am to impress people. I'm here to show who I am so that I can prove to people that I'm not some worthless player who doesn't deserve to be back; I definitely feel like some people think that is the truth. I'm going to prove people wrong. Count on it.

I know I said I wanted to be a villain but goddamn, this is pretty fucked up. Oh right context because mind reading technology hasn't been invented quite yet. To make a long story short, Karen made an alliance chat with our victim (Ashley) and now it has a name and now it is terrible. Alex brings up voting Karen and that raisin I call a heart was all like "YAAASS QUEEN!" And my brain was tempted by the #bigmove but getting rid of Karen... is truthfully not to my benefit. Sure Karen is manipulative but she seems to trust me. She confides in me with information and she includes me in all her fucked up little schemes. In a sense, I'm the Trish to her Tony. If Trish and Tony were two gay and emotionally stunted children of course. Plus she has the connections to the other side that could get us far into the game and I am confident enough in our friendship that she will stay by my side. Of course, I will remain wary of her but for now I think our relationship is mutually beneficial. Karen needs me for back up in her schemes. I need Karen to get where I want to get. She gives me information. Information I can collect in to a giant web of evidence, so when the day comes when I turn on her, I'll have the evidence via receipts to back me up. Karen never deletes anything, I am planning on using that to my advantage.

So I was reallllyyyyyy close to using my idol tonight, and I totally would have wasted it if I had. Gavin advised me that I would be okay, and so did Alex and Kendall but like something didn't feel right. I had heard that Ace heard my name from Karen and I was like well shit. She had literally just today come to me and told me that we were all good and that she didn't hold the last game we played together against me. Like there are no hard feelings. but due to everything that was happening I kind of doubted that. But tbh I love Gavin and Alex and really hope we can work together for the next few rounds. Or even longer, who knows. I still am unsure about Karen and Kendall, as I don't really know them that well. But hopefully everything works out.

Oh I also definitely told Gavin I have an idol.... idiot move? We shall see. 

I am so glad we won immunity. It for sure would have been me or Lexi next if we had gone to tribal. It looks like Johnny and Whitney aren't too upset that I didn't vote with them but I can't take my chances. I had been searching for the idol for a while with no luck so I asked Lexi to help me find it. She found it within a few hours lol. We didn't find the idol but we found the idol grid. It's relieving to know it couldn't have been found right away. This gives me and her time to find it. Hopefully we'll get it before anyone else and we'll be set for the rest of the time on this tribe. I doubt anyone else on our tribe has found the idol page or would suspect that we found it. I'm thinking long term so the game plan would be using the idol on lexi and getting rid of Liam. If we happen to go to a tribal council after that we could try to get Whitney or Johnny to flip to our side. Even if they don't want to we can always force a tie so Lexi and I still have a strong chance of succeeding. We just have to find that idol!

This has been a crazy round. I'm glad the immunity challenge was changed to something that required more skill. The tribe worked very well as a team. There's an obvious divide between us so I'm glad we were able to get some time to bond and unite. As for the results, it was upsetting that the returnee heroes made such a big deal out of not getting theirs in on time. The rules clearly stated it was first to 10 pm. I'm sure we would've accepted defeat if we didn't send it faster than them. It was bad sportsmanship on their part. The tiebreaker was so stressful. I stepped up and I was so afraid of letting the team down. I knew if we went to tribal my only ally left, Lexi, would be voted off. There was a lot of pressure on me and I was honestly so anxious. I felt so victorious beating Kendall by 7 minutes. I hope my tribemates remember this next time we go to tribal and don't vote me out. I feel like I've done a lot for our tribe so I think I'm safe for now. I'm really hoping the tribe swap comes within the next two rounds. We can only win so many immunities and Lexi and I are on the bottom so we really need it asap.