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Mass Effect 1: Playthrough Masterpost

At last, I have finished Mass Effect 1!

I have heard some mutuals say they wish they could play it again for the first time, and you kind of can--through me! I’ve been posting little “episodes” of live-tweet-stream-of-consciousness as I play, and now I’ve compiled them into one post to make my life easier.

Anyway, here’s the first one, the rest are under the cut. :)

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode one

My ass looks great in this uniform, first of all

Impaled robo zombies, yikes

Cheap shot, Saren, smh. How will I pass my spectre test now?!

Why does he have robot eyes? Is he like, Geth-Turian? Why? Is he a robo zombie also? Was it the beacon???

Cool beacon nightmares, I'm sure this is fine

This Kaiden guy has implants? ORTEGA?!??!?

"Call me princess again and you'll be picking your teeth up off the floor" lol obliterated

The citadel elevators are very realistic, five minutes of tense silence huh

Ya girl got a PROMOTION and a DOPE SQUAD time to catch a TRAITOR

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode two

First things first, gotta go find the blue scientist to join the gang

This galaxy is HUGE! How many of these places will I actually be able to go?!

Only two friends at a time????? D:

Ah, a distress signal, let's see wha--A DESERT CENTIPEDE NOPE ABORT ABORT

Robo aliens? In MY Theronian mining facility? Its more likely than you think

Running over dudes in my Mako is extremely satisfying tbh

*runs over geth troopers* *runs over geth armature* *runs over geth colossus* ... *backs over geth colossus*

Working elevators in the ancient ruins ✔

Oooooooh man hope this nerd is gay

Wrex, a friend of yours? Nope, not a friend, too murdery

"ShAaaAame about the ruins Shep, sOooOo much collatoral damage, SHEP" stfu Council, "ruthless" was in the resume when you promoted us, 10/10 would shoot lasers through archeological digs again

When Kaiden calls us "ma'am" I am, uh, into it

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode three

Time to talk to the gang! Gotta meet the fam proper

Oh dear seems we got a shmee of racism on board, compatriots

Wow Raina, good foot-in-mouth moment with Wrex there huh...sorry about the eventual extinction of your race, lost this round of Pain Olympics

OH SHIT OH SHIT BLUE HOTTIE BIGENDER? THIS IS NOT A DRILL???

“hi I’m Kaiden wanna hear about my last crush ;)” “hi I’m Liara wanna hear about Asari mating rituals? ;)))” damn we really slidin right into the DMs no chill

Garrus: fuck rules and red tape amiright Raina: oh u right ;)

Guess I’ll actually do a mission now LETS GO LESBIANS LETS GO

Honestly rolling out with Tali and Liara is a mood, squad goals

Raina @ every corporation on Noveria: I would sell you to satan for one(1) corn chip

This reactivation puzzle is some shit

I see some Mistakes were made

We already killing moms at this stage damn BioWare

FUCK FUCK BENEZIA KILLED ME AND I LOST A FUCKTON OF PLAYTIME

THERES LIKE NO AUTOSAVE IN THIS BITCH FUUUUUUUUU

fuck fuck fuck god damn it gotta shoot a bunch of deranged baby bug people again god DAMN IT

Okay we killed Liara’s mom in front of her hope that’s fine

And we let mama bug go free because after talking to Wrex, Raina’s like “this galaxy is a little trigger happy with the genocide, good luck out there bug mama ❤️ be cool please”

I have literally watched the scientist in the hot labs get killed three times now

So far the debreifs with the council have not gone very well

“You let bug mama go?! How many generations until they take over everything???” “My money’s on two :D Place your bets now assholes or stfu :DDD”

Asked Liara if she was okay and she seems pretty Cool With It

I hope to one day return to Noveria and Death Star it into oblivion

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode four

Talked with Tali and this situation with the Geth and the Quarians is giving me an existential crisis

You “inspect” my beautiful ship? You got somethin’ to say about my crew??? Talk shit get hit, bitch I will kill you

Yoooo my old earth gang, yeah what the hell, I’ll help ou—oh nope nvm he’s a xenophobe, you hang him and I’ll shoot his friend in the face, thx for your time

Went to the citadel to finish some assignments, left tasked with twice as many

“dOn’T cUt CoRneRs” fear not dear Kaiden, I have a permit: this piece of paper that says I do what I want

Still with the elevators, I really cannot with this

“You make it all sound so...dangerous...” ;) ;))))))

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode five

Headin’ to Virmire to rendezvous with the Salarian team

A cure for the genophase?!?!?! :D

Oh wait oh no are we for real gonna talk about destroying the cure like Wrex isn’t standing right here omg

SHIT GUYS NO NOT LIKE THIS WREX PLEASE

Phew for a conversation that basically started with guns drawn, it went pretty well... “What Saren has isn’t even a proper cure, he’s just fucking with the Krogans at this point. Are we gonna stand for that? Or are we gonna murder?” “Damn Shep, you right, we gon’ murder”

Okay Ashley, go join the aliens, try not to die

Shadow Team!🎵 tearing through the base 🎶 disabling all the     defenses 🎵 (you gotta sing it to the tune of the Trogdor song)

We free the prisoners!!! :)

We shoot the prisoners??? :(

“Raina? How can you shoot them where they stand?” So it’s more merciful to let them explode? NAH FAM

This scientist is responsible for the mind control stuff? For Benezia? Fine     I’ll let her go but I hope she explodes

We did not learn our lesson concerning beacons I see

Wait if even Saren is worried about his mind control ship does that mean there are larger forces involved here?

Oh. Oh fuck

Ugh Ashley I EXPLICITLY TOLD YOU NOT TO DIE

(so we really never found any info about that genophase cure huh? disappointing)

Oh Seren, you dumb dumb. You absolute fool. Clown man.

When Raina slings Kaiden over her shoulder to carry him to the ship—mmmmmmmmwoooow I am very bisexual

Bruh Raina takes every council call and she disconnects pissed off every time

WAIT I literally just hung up with the council, ASHLEY is DEAD, and Kaiden needs a DTR RIGHT NOW?!?!? Boy, NO, READ THE ROOM

This has been a stressful day

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode six

Shepard will avoid her feelings and go to Faros instead

Seeing Ashley’s figure greyed out and her locker inaccessible makes me sad

Wrex and Garrus, let’s go shoot some geth 💪 

A mind controlling planet—of course!

Shep gets all her renegade points shooting capitalists

Saved, uh, about half the colonists

If I have one more bad acid trip I stg

Oh nope here’s another one

Shep needs a nap

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode seven

Ah, the council. Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal.

At least Liara is good at pep talks ;)

Joker, you cockblock

Haha DUDE we airborne, you THOUGHT

Now that I am exiled from the Citadel, guess I’ll run some galactic errands:

o   Killed corporate scientists who though we would rescue them lol

o   Destroyed a bunch of geth camps helping Tali on her pilgrimage

o   Disabled a nuke and killed some pirates

o   Shut down some evil Cerberus experiments

o   And illegally traded information!

Okay time to get back on track

So we may or may not be flying to our doom

OH GOD LIARA LOVES ME!!! RAINA, YOU DISASTER, YOU DID IT AAAAAH ❤️❤️❤️

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode eight

You know what I love? Being murdered by geth armatures

All these Ilos ruins be looking the same

Security panel is only kinda helpful

Oh, luckily I know Prothean now!

“CANNOT BE STOPPED” wow very encouraging, thanks

After that super motivating message and disabling security, its time to go down, down to goblin town

Vigil? Oh word?

My girlfriend is GEEKING out

I knew something what wrong with that fucking Citadel

Vigil: information is power. Also Vigil: What does it matter why they do what they do? All that matters is you stop them

“non-essential” personnel die first, huh? GROSS, VIGIL (gotta be honest that hits different in 2020)

Garrus gets it, I knew we liked that guy

Okay, find conduit, save galaxy, break millennium-old genocide cyle, nbd

Ugh Mako you gotta do me dirty one last time I see, I hate this thing

THE CONDUIT STRAIGHT YEETED MAKO

The citadel robot says we’re doomed : )

This shootout is SO fun, seriously

Saren get it toGETHER

Renegade Raina can kill with a conversation apparently, well done then

Concentrate on the Sovereign—why am I gonna save a council that hates my guts, sorry, but I have a JOB to DO that you ACTIVELY HINDERED

Great, zombie husk Saren, just what I needed as I mull over the possible consequences of my galaxy-altering decision

GO JOKER GO

Humanity-only council seems…questionable. Raina didn’t love the council but this sits wrong. Couldn’t we just appoint a more diverse council, including a human?

Anderson seems like a good enough dude, so…we’ll see.

TIME FOR WAR BOYS, GODDAMN WHAT A GAME

Bea & Fraze

Bea: What are you going to wear to Ro's birthday? Fraze: Pick whatever you like for this fantasy where I'm going Bea: You have to Bea: you have no excuse not to Fraze: I don't need an excuse now that I'm too big for my ma, or da come to that, to drag me anywhere Fraze: I don't wanna, I don't have to, end of Bea: It's still family regardless of anyone's ability to literally make you Bea: anyway, she needs the numbers Fraze: I don't hear her begging Bea: She's not about to, is she Bea: you know what she's like Fraze: And you know where to find me when you've had enough of what she's like Bea: Well if you must know I don't think I'll bother to come back either then Bea: why should I make any effort Fraze: 'Cause you had a solid enough argument there with the family obligation bullshit, even if you lost it with the part about keeping numbers up Bea: Joe isn't coming, you aren't Bea: so fuck it, clearly Fraze: She ain't our sister, she's yours Bea: Seriously Fraze: Come on Fraze: I know you didn't expect a different answer Bea: You know literally nothing Bea: How can I lecture her about being part of this family if that's how you feel Bea: and how can I expect her to feel like a part of it if she isn't, apparently, for fuck's sake Fraze: She is with the rest of them, don't start Fraze: How can I act like it's all that black and white when the only thing that is, is how I feel about you? Fraze: we've been over it Bea: You can't pick and choose Bea: that's not how this is meant to work Fraze: Well it's too fucking late Fraze: I already did Bea: Great, so she gets to be right Bea: fantastic, thanks Fraze: What do you want me to do? I can't unlove you Fraze: I have tried, like Bea: Have you? Fraze: What was most of our childhood if not that? Bea: This isn't relevant Bea: I need someone there Fraze: You asked, I gave you an answer Fraze: she's got Ali and Tommy, that other one he used to dance with Bea: Because I can ask any of them what she was like and get an honest answer Bea: there's a divide, you said it Fraze: You'll get a brutally honest answer off ma if that's what you want Bea: I want you to do this one thing for me Fraze: is that as nice as you're gonna ask? Bea: I'm not playing games Bea: I'm not in the mood Fraze: Christ's sake Fraze: alright then Bea: Thanks Fraze: whatever, I'll do it for the pleasure of you owing me Bea: you can check my calendar to cash that in Fraze: give me a chance to check my own first, Red Bea: I assume you have a handle on your own schedule Fraze: I ain't never been able to stop your assumptions Bea: You should be grateful I'm giving you that props Fraze: Oh cheers Bea: You're welcome Fraze: yeah, open arms at this party Bea: I doubt she's got a candle for you Bea: you'll avoid that Fraze: Jesus Bea: Yep Fraze: I ain't going to church, fuck that Bea: I think only Ali is doing that anyway Fraze: gutted she still ain't getting sainted for her patience Bea: Pretty sure you have to be dead for years before they get 'round to it Fraze: Trust you to know that, babe Bea: It's common knowledge Bea: Teresa was an exception Fraze: common knowledge to cunts thinking that far ahead Fraze: let me get to grips with my fucking uni schedule Bea: You gave yourself away Fraze: you wish Bea: I'll take my props away now Bea: You've been back nearly a month Fraze: And I've had fuck all to do, it ain't Cambs Bea: All the more time to work out your schedule Fraze: Worry about your own Bea: I am Fraze: You gave yourself away there Bea: Ha Fraze: you're not in the mood, I heard you the first time Bea: Good Bea: I'll leave you to it then Fraze: Alright Bea: [Skippity skip?] Fraze: [makes sense] Bea: [okay, turn up with ya BFF as a hot ass mess to this stale ass party] Fraze: [he'd be shook and fuming in equal measure, imagine his face please] Bea: [aren't we all tbh like join Ro at that table lol] Fraze: You could've said something Bea: I posted on my stories Fraze: Like I said Bea: It wasn't planned Fraze: And it ain't the longest plane ride but you had enough time to tell me you were coming Fraze: it becomes a plan once you've bought a ticket, like Bea: Hardly, it's not like it sells out, or there isn't one an hour later if it does Bea: we turned up, end of Fraze: You know what I mean Fraze: I turned up here for you, the least you could've done was said I didn't have to Bea: I'm late, so I did need you here Fraze: what's his excuse? Bea: ? Fraze: Why do you need him here? Bea: He suggested I come Bea: I still wasn't sure Fraze: hand holding then Fraze: how sweet Bea: Fuck off Bea: She's my sister, I should be here, regardless of how unwelcome I am or want to be Fraze: gladly Fraze: and yeah, no shit, I told you that Bea: It's not an original concept Bea: is this all the people that showed or have people left? Fraze: I'll be the first out the door Bea: Tragic Fraze: What else did you expect? Bea: She was making such a fuss I thought perhaps she'd put a bit more effort in this time Fraze: only setting yourself up with that kind of thinking, babe Bea: More her problem than mine Fraze: Yours if you care Bea: Whatever you're trying to imply with that is stupid either way Fraze: I'm not implying anything, I said it in a dead straightforward manner Bea: Either that I do or don't care Fraze: I know you care, you wouldn't be here if you didn't Bea: If I cared I would have just showed up Fraze: you have Bea: Not before telling her I wouldn't and having an argument so Fraze: Exactly, you didn't have to and you still did Fraze: she ain't gonna appreciate it and it weren't easy for you in any sense Fraze: so you care and you're fucked by it, end of Bea: Nah Fraze: Yeah Bea: I literally just wanted to piss her off but alright Fraze: that's an added bonus Bea: If you like, Fraze Fraze: it ain't about me Fraze: but you can have pissing me off too if you like Bea: Why would you be pissed off at me Fraze: Think it through like you reckon you ain't fuck all else Bea: You were meant to be here regardless Bea: and now you can go Bea: nothing lost Fraze: it's nothing to do with any of that Bea: I'm not in the mood for guessing games either Bea: tell me or don't Fraze: Forget it Bea: Alright Bea: enjoy the rest of your evening then Fraze: I'll take my odds of that over yours Bea: I'll survive Fraze: I know Fraze: my offer still stands though Bea: I'm just here to see Ro Fraze: You're leaving tomorrow then? Bea: tonight by the looks of this Fraze: Yeah Fraze: I doubt it'll be a late one Bea: Surprised she's still here honestly Fraze: I'm surprised any of this went ahead in the first place Bea: Sure she's been planning it since her last Fraze: don't mean she wouldn't cry off it on the night Bea: You can go tell her you're proud of her if you want Fraze: fuck off Bea: 😏 Fraze: [IRL 😏 at her] Bea: [LOOK back] Fraze: [always gotta return a LOOK] Bea: [but go get a drink with Bronson, obviously] Fraze: [go get your own because you're fuming at that and also I need a reason for you not to leave thank you] Bea: [you can force Tommy to dance with you and dance with Bronson] Fraze: [just like 👀😒 downing this drink haha] Fraze: [we both know he's eventually cutting in though there's only so much looking on either of them can take] Bea: [saying something about not dancing with Fearghal and Rocky yet like wait ya turn but 😏 again] Fraze: [we're having this moment ™ because this party is too dry to deal with] Bea: [you wanna see some romance hen] Fraze: [giving Laoise's brother ideas and the confidence to 💋 with their energy LOL] Bea: [I snorted, oh lord] Fraze: [like we said before, going from that long summer to nothing when they're back at uni would be a killer so the vibe is strong] Bea: [excuse us everyone that'll be awkward to see for you] Fraze: [I hope y'all are busy having your own fun and in Ro's case getting smooched so] Bea: [y'all be trying anyway, God bless] Fraze: [mcvickers having their own dance because they don't wanna be here either, awww] Bea: [das cute] Fraze: [we should've given Laoise a little sister for Rocky to have a childhood romance with, that would've been so cute cos the fams hate each other] Fraze: [maybe there can be a girl at the caravan park cos always there with his bff Carly] Bea: [I like that idea, v cute] Fraze: [look at me getting derailed as per] Bea: [my bubba] Fraze: [go get another drink and calm down a shade please boy] Bea: [you could get away with this extraness if it wasn't such a dry party alas hensss, I should probaby think about what present you're throwing at Ro] Fraze: Do you want me to tell you I'm proud of you then or what? Bea: For what? Fraze: Doing the dance rounds, how well you wrapped that gift, take your pick Bea: I don't think that'll make me feel any better, but you go ahead if it will you Fraze: Nah, not really Bea: Don't bother then Fraze: consider it not done Bea: Then we're all happy Fraze: No need to take the bullshit that far Bea: That's what her happy face looks like Fraze: Christ Bea: Told you it was tragic Fraze: I didn't dispute it Bea: Do you know the neighbour kids name? Fraze: Is that a trick question? Bea: Um, no Bea: I want to look him up Fraze: 'Course I fucking don't Bea: 🙄 you're so helpful Bea: bet you know the sister's name Fraze: don't be placing bets about me and girls my sister's age Bea: Lighten up it's not like she's a kid Fraze: She was Ali's friend when she was a kid, hardly a turn on seeing her trying to catch frogs or cast spells Fraze: but cheers for your permission Bea: Unlike our sisters, respectively, I'm sure she's grown up some since then Fraze: Like I said, don't bet on it Bea: Whatever, I don't wanna fuck her Fraze: Me either Bea: Cool Fraze: [go and do your theft of the church wine boy because this party is still not it] Bea: [go find him but under the guise/that's not a total lie doe of needing a fucking break] Fraze: [have another moment in that confined space] Bea: [drink that nasty wine, not even asking just taking it] Fraze: [letting it happen cos she needs it more than you tbh] Bea: [swigging way too much of the blood of christ before passing it back with a shrug like whoops, so soz] Fraze: [giving her a look like steady on like this wasn't your idea] Bea: ['you act like you come up with every plan' ref-ing to doing this as kids, obvs] Fraze: ['I do' that's a barefaced lie sir] Bea: [scoffs like oh please] Fraze: [scoffs himself to show what he thinks of her ideas in reference to this messy uni era that he's acting like she's solely responsible for] Bea: [takes the bottle back like if you're gonna be like that] Fraze: [takes it off her so he can actually get some] Bea: ['you did not have all the good ideas'] Fraze: ['Alright, you can credit him one for bringing you'] Bea: ['I thought you reckoned that was your idea too'] Fraze: ['Point is, it weren't yours'] Bea: [🙄 'I'm fine with being here not being my idea, tah'] Fraze: ['Unlike me being here' like there you go another bad idea] Bea: ['doesn't bother me' like unlucky] Fraze: ['You came to find me, not the other way round, babe'] Bea: ['I came to get away from everyone else, there's a difference'] Fraze: [looks around like there's loads of places to do that which is true cos there's literally no-one at this party] Bea: ['if you want me to go, say it'] Fraze: ['If I did, I would'] Bea: [a look like shut up then] Fraze: [shakes his head in an affectionate way like fuck knows why I want you around] Bea: [just like likewise with her everything] Fraze: [offers her a 🚬 like they're not indoors in the tiny priest cupboard] Bea: ['a way to get more guests' like when the firemen show Fraze: [a fearghal style big lol 'see, I'm full of good ideas'] Bea: [can't help but smile even if we're like mhmm] Fraze: [smiling because we made her smile, it's a lil moment] Bea: ['why haven't you left?' but soft not like accusatory or like get out] Fraze: [looking at her like you know why and we're stealing her words ''if you want me to go, say it' in a tone which obvs makes it clear that's not what we want] Bea: [says nothing to say it all] Fraze: [turn that look into a LOOK boy] Bea: ['why are you mad at me?' whilst casually getting on his lap to make sure he can't be] Fraze: ['why did you have to bring him here?' but everyone knows he's not that mad anymore because she's literally in here with you sir, priorities] Bea: ['see what you'd do' like we're joking but not not true either, just tracing all his features with your finger right now like it's been FOREVER since you saw each other] Fraze: [There's a time and a place' like I'm not gonna beat the shit out of him at this fam function even though I want to but also please don't bring him to fam functions ever again thank you] Bea: ['Maybe I didn't feel like being alone'] Fraze: ['You're not' pulling her even closer to him for emphasis] Bea: [a NOISE like 'scuse me 'not now'] Fraze: ['you're not alone ever' could sound creepy but we mean it in a loving and supportive way] Bea: [a look like we both know that's not true] Fraze: [a look like we both know it's always gonna be me and you, no matter what] Bea: [shakes head like that's not what I mean/the point] Fraze: [softly cups her face so they have all the eye contact like I mean it but you can still tell me what you mean] Bea: ['if we weren't ever alone, none of this would be happening'] Fraze: ['I don't regret that this is' like we're joking about being in this priest cupboard having a throwback moment but we're also saying that we're glad she's here and glad of any time we have rn so] Bea: [shaking our head and breaking eye contact as we get off him] Fraze: ['Shit's always gonna happen, we can't stop it' you can't save anyone vibes 'I only know one way that comes close, like'] Bea: ['what's that then?' but we're already not listening properly and getting up to go] Fraze: [a KISS to stop her in her tracks because it's that, like they are stopping time for a sec] Bea: [have your moment lads enjoy it been a long time coming] Fraze: [literally would feel like it's been forever anyway and even moreso because they are both having a shit time rn] Bea: [you can't get carried away, I vote the fun people at this party start playing hide and seek so you gotta break it up hens] Fraze: [I love that because I would suggest murder in the dark cos spooky girl energy but Ro's scared of the dark so we can't until she has left] Bea: [lol it's so against your everything to be scared of the dark that amuses me] Fraze: [she would play hide and seek though if only to get away from her bf] Bea: [so lowkey everyone will be playing therefore you must play lol] Fraze: [literally because Rocky, Ali and Carly have probably made mcvickers play by ganging up on them haha] Bea: [the entire guestlist hen, everyone else would be down, soz baze looooooooooooooooooollllllllllll] Fraze: [he's so just staying in this priest cupboard and we all know it] Bea: [such an obvious place boy you'll be seeking so soon, you better go find Bronson hun] Fraze: [likewise will just go for a 🚬 when he's supposed to be finding people because we're playing under duress] Bea: [we know you don't need to keep this close a watch on him like he'll be down but you know, moment gone here] Fraze: [good luck acting like you're not fuming that she went straight to him even though staying with you wasn't really an option] Bea: [this should be made into/they should play a different team game and be on opposite teams 'cos so competitive] Fraze: [always a mood so I 100% agree] Bea: [like idk what but take it way too seriously when no one else is lol] Fraze: [literally does not matter because like you said nobody else cares and you two are just on your bullshit, who should we say wins?] Bea: [i think firstly it's who gets Ro] Fraze: [he should because we don't need a beeline brawl] Bea: [you can have Rocky then Bea as they are equally as big a handicap so that's fair] Fraze: [lbr nobody is as big a handicap as Ro but he can have Ali who's great at everything to balance that out] Bea: [then she should have Tommy and Carly and he should have Bronson and Kayne] Bea: [Meena go where you like lol] Fraze: [he will be THRILLED to have Bronson on his team lol] Bea: [ha I know, like did that so you have some decent peeps but also for the awks] Fraze: [please don't brawl lads we can't be having that] Bea: [focus on winning, Fraze probably should] Fraze: [yeah otherwise he'll sulk haha] Bea: [and he already is so that would be rude] Fraze: [true enough] Bea: congrats Fraze: Say it like you mean it Bea: I don't so you know Bea: forced sportsmanship is all you're getting Fraze: come on, babe Bea: shut up Fraze: Don't be a sore loser Bea: you're so annoying Fraze: Nah, that was the team I had Bea: like mine was any better Fraze: Like you wouldn't rather have your sister, who you reckon you're just here to see, and your boyfriend Bea: I've seen her Bea: if you're hoping for a reunion beyond that, I'd stop Fraze: If you reckon that's even crossed my mind, you're losing your touch at more than kid's party games Bea: I'm saying I reckon that was a poor attempt at a dig, is all Fraze: you started it, like Bea: did I fuck Fraze: what else do you call that piss poor attempt at a congrats? Bea: sportsmanship Bea: I told you Fraze: Bullshit Bea: 🙄 fine, don't accept it Fraze: I don't Bea: so don't Fraze: Alright Bea: [drinking moodily like 😒] Fraze: [go for a smoke and calm down boy] Bea: [thank the lord this shit show is winding down, reminds me] Bea: Did Ro and Ali just walk past you? Fraze: Yeah, she said she's taking her home Bea: Wow Bea: I thought they were getting air, or some other stupid thing for another stupid ritual Bea: is she for real Fraze: Are you really that surprised? Bea: Pissed off and surprised aren't the same thing Bea: she actually got me to fly out Bea: for this Fraze: Do you want me to go after 'em? They only just went past Bea: No Bea: it's her party to ditch Fraze: at least you can too now though Bea: yeah, I really fancy the airport right now Bea: never mind getting back to Cambs just in time for rush hour Bea: fuck this Fraze: Then don't go to the airport Bea: This has been a massive waste of time Fraze: Cheers Bea: Come on Bea: you didn't want to come either Fraze: when I thought you weren't Bea: no, and before Fraze: Come on Bea: find you when I was done, if I recall Fraze: whatever, that's not the same as you shitting over all my attempts to make this bearable for you Bea: because you tried really hard to do that Fraze: obviously not hard enough, yeah? Bea: You said it, not me Fraze: Fuck's sake Fraze: forget it Bea: Done Fraze: Grand Bea: ['cos what you really need is to go out and get messier, lol, so rude not even gonna help everyone else clean up this shitshow] Fraze: [we all know he ain't staying to help either soz lads] Bea: [lol @ everyone else doing that work] Fraze: [do you wanna skip to later when they are both messier or go straight to the aftermath of this if she's going to the hotel?] Bea: [I vote still go home 'cos wasted enough money coming here it isn't like student funds goes that far Ro, gotta save for xmas too] Fraze: [honestly legit Ro you rude hoe] Bea: [we don't even need to be getting a travelodge honey, the sofa can stay so yes, we can skip] Fraze: [oh the joys, you messy bitches, so tempted to have him bring someone back for the drama] Bea: [that would kick off big time 'cos he's not allowed people at theirs 'cos it's their bed and she'd have to burn it lol, but he could not come back for drama but less than that if you wanna] Fraze: [good idea we don't wanna cause Bea to have a breakdown] Bea: [like I assumed you didn't wanna go that far lmao] Fraze: [I'm not that evil] Bea: you got your keys Fraze: I don't need 'em Bea: you aren't here, I had to go in and get some PJs Fraze: you don't need my permission to go in your own room Bea: I know, but I know you aren't back yet, is my point Fraze: By the time I am ma or da will be up, was my point Bea: alright Bea: I'm locking the backdoor too, as we're in the lounge Fraze: Don't be stupid Fraze: there's an empty bed, there's no point you sleeping on the sofa Bea: I've not slept in worse places Bea: it'd be rude to leave him on his own Fraze: and you wouldn't wanna be rude to him Bea: obviously not Fraze: obviously not Bea: How gone are you? Jesus Bea: well I've told you, so don't come through waking everybody up later Fraze: I've told you I won't Bea: you don't need my permission Fraze: I'm not asking for it Bea: then go do whatever you're doing Fraze: We can't even talk now Fraze: this plan of yours is fucking epic, like Bea: If you wanted to talk right now, you wouldn't be wherever the fuck you are Fraze: Nah, if you wanted to talk I wouldn't be Bea: 'cos that makes any sense Fraze: you couldn't leave fast enough, how else do you want me to take that? Bea: that wasn't about you Fraze: I never said it was, I said you don't want to talk to me Bea: would I have specifically taken a flight to come talk to you, when I'll be back for Christmas in a month? no, probably not Bea: that hardly means I don't want to talk to you Fraze: Do it then Bea: that's how conversation works now Bea: you demand it, I jump at the chance? Fraze: at least I'm making demands Bea: really Bea: how's that working out for you? Fraze: as well as the opposite is for you Bea: I don't want to talk to you, apparently Bea: nothing to not demand Fraze: you reckon you apparently do, there's loads to demand Bea: yeah, 'cos talking in circles with you right now is really thrilling Fraze: Thank Christ you've got him to talk to Bea: he's asleep Fraze: that makes sense if fuck all else does Fraze: 'course you'd leave it til then to say anything to me Bea: because I was going to go to bed and wanted to lock the door Bea: it's not anything more or less than that Fraze: so go to bed Bea: yeah, you aren't telling me what to do Fraze: I'm telling you to do yourself a favour Bea: you say what you like Bea: I don't care Fraze: I don't need your permission for that either Bea: then say something worth hearing or piss off and leave me alone Fraze: I meant what I fucking said, I don't wanna leave you alone Bea: Well good job because I am Bea: and no one has said fuck all to me today about it Bea: not even my sister Fraze: I'm sorry Bea: Yeah Bea: you've got loads to say? bullshit Fraze: There's fuck all I can say about this, we both know that Bea: No, there's fuck all you want to say about it Bea: 'cos no one wants to talk about it, so I don't get to regardless of if I might Fraze: Don't Fraze: you know me better than that Bea: Well why ain't you then? Bea: you're the one banging on about it, as if you've actually tried Fraze: I don't wanna be the cunt backing you into a corner and I know you better than to reckon that'd work Bea: This is working amazing then, alright Fraze: Well I reckoned you'd eventually come to me, more fool me Fraze: shit's changed Bea: Right, 'cos you made it so obvious you were up for talking Bea: saying you weren't coming Bea: it's encouraging, my mistake there Fraze: It should be obvious that you can talk to me about anything Bea: When Bea: you aren't here now either Fraze: whenever Fraze: you know nothing's more important than you Bea: okay Fraze: Say it like you believe me Bea: I can't Fraze: Bea Bea: I'm sorry Fraze: Don't Bea: you said things have changed Fraze: 'Cause they clearly fucking have Bea: They were bound to, I suppose Fraze: you could've warned me if you knew that Bea: What do you think taking a break was Bea: for you to figure out what you wanted Fraze: Don't blame me, I know what I fucking want Bea: Do you? Fraze: nothing's changed for me Bea: you can say that Bea: but this all points to the opposite, doesn't it Fraze: Bullshit Bea: You aren't here, we can't even talk Bea: nothing's the same now Fraze: What did you expect me to do? You pissed off with him, there weren't no invite going spare Bea: because you're an arsehole to him, I drag him here for the shittest party ever and then make you two have an even worse night out? what would be the point of that? Fraze: I'm not gonna cosy up to him, you do enough of that for the both of us Bea: I get it, you don't like him, that's why you weren't invited Fraze: You brought him, knowing I don't fucking like him, don't make me the cunt Bea: I'm allowed friends, no matter if you like them or not Fraze: we're both allowed to do whatever the hell we like, I ain't forgotten the rules Bea: as I'm not fucking him, the rules have nothing to do with it Bea: I never told you to not hang out with your mates Fraze: I'm not telling you what to do either, I'm telling you why I ain't there Bea: that's ridiculous Fraze: Fuck you Bea: it is, for Christ's sake Bea: he's asleep on the sofa not fucking me on our bed Fraze: you don't believe me, why should I believe you? Fraze: it's ridiculous that you brought him here in the first place Bea: I'd have time to be messaging you Bea: you're just being stupid now Bea: how is it ridiculous? Fraze: You've already made me look stupid Fraze: did it make you feel any better? Bea: To who, your brother, my sister? Bea: I couldn't be on my own today Bea: I tried and I couldn't, that's all it is Fraze: You don't need him, you've got me Bea: I'm not meant to come to you for everything, I'm meant to give you space Bea: give each other Bea: that's what this whole thing is about Fraze: this whole thing is bullshit Fraze: and even if I reckoned it was a good idea I'm not just gonna pretend your parents didn't die today to go fuck a Trinity student Fraze: there's a time and a place, like I said Bea: Fine Bea: well he's here now, what do you want me to do about it? Bea: I can't send him home Fraze: There's fuck all you can do, other than don't lock me out Bea: I knew you didn't have your keys Fraze: you do still know me then, yeah? Bea: If you hadn't forgot, you'd have lost them Bea: should probably change the locks, honestly Fraze: if you don't keep me out, I'll keep any robbing cunts out Bea: I'm not going to lock you out Bea: you don't need to promise heroics Fraze: I know you can't sleep, I'd be a new level of callous bastard if I gave you anything else to worry about Bea: it'd be a distraction Bea: doubt your parents would appreciate it though Fraze: Well I can easily give you one of them Bea: not that you rate yourself or anything Fraze: it starts with me, yeah, no fucker else is volunteering to sing my praises right now Bea: Poor boy Fraze: Don't rub it in how skint I am as well Bea: well you and me both Bea: be eating plain rice when I get back Bea: at least your ma makes sure you have decent food still Fraze: I'll send you something to put on it Fraze: or something to drown your sorrows with Bea: where do you think all my money goes, like Fraze: you and me both, babe Fraze: these Trinity girls aren't cheap dates, like Bea: My sympathy can only extend so far Fraze: the night off from it is appreciated enough Bea: uhuh Fraze: you don't believe me, I heard you the first time Bea: it was never part of the deal that we had to talk about it Fraze: I know Bea: so I don't want to Fraze: I'm shutting up and coming in Bea: Good Fraze: come and have a drink Bea: [does, of course] Fraze: [giving her the bottle for the mems of Jesus blood and always] Bea: [take a big swig like you need to remotely lol 'thank you' with sincerity at last] Fraze: [shamelessly checking her out in whatever pjs she's wearing obvs, though I vote she's wearing at least one item that belongs to him so he's like 😏 and gently pulls on whatever it is like that's mine without saying so out loud] Bea: [deffo, and has done it without even noticing so it's like oh, raising a brow like you want it back?] Fraze: [yassssss because they are that coupley goodbye but he shakes his head because looks better on her anyway and takes the bottle instead] Bea: [even though it would've been ages since you did that it's just habit, shrugs like 😏 your loss] Fraze: [such a LOOK of course] Bea: ['where'd you go?' like where did you go drink, not WHERE WERE YOU vibes] Fraze: [telling her the name of somewhere studenty with his own shrug, I like to imagine he's like casually getting ready for bed here also as a habit because it doesn't feel awkward to just get topless or whatever] Bea: [casual face of disdain but 'makes sense'] Fraze: ['nothing happened' because even though she said she didn't wanna talk about it and neither do you, you want her to know that and you're drunk enough to just say it] Bea: ['doesn't matter if it did' blatant lie but okay] Fraze: [a look because we know it's a blatant lie but we're coming to put our arms around her cos it's been such a shit day] Bea: [big sighs] Fraze: [just having a snuggle and it will forever fuck me up cos he's so tol and she's so smol] Bea: [OG tol and smol, we mumbling into his chest like scuse you what you saying] Fraze: [she's like me and Clove, failing to thrive honey, so if you think he's not cradling her like a little Clovey you'd be incorrect] Bea: [just have this moment of softness, gotta allow it] Fraze: [very deserved and needed] Bea: ['this is such bullshit' like true but specifics where] Fraze: ['I know' because you don't need specifics cos everything is for you too like you literally thought she was slipping away from you same as Joe did and you've realised you hate uni it wasn't just 1st year being crap] Bea: [that must happen so much 'cos allegedly everyone hates 1st year but then it just carries on like oh] Fraze: [it really does happen a lot hence he's like well shit it's not that and I don't actually wanna be doing this] Bea: ['there's fuck all to do, is there?'] Fraze: [repositioning however necessary for eye contact because there's always something they can do, that's like their entire mantra and we don't need to express that with words] Bea: [gestures like ugh I know that but seriously, right now, this has been hard since this time last year] Fraze: ['if you wanna throw all these bullshit rules out, tell me' like ldr exists babe we don't have to get randoms involved] Bea: [shakes his head 'it's about what's right and needs to be done'] Fraze: [kisses her like you can't tell me this isn't right gal] Bea: her* scuse me Bea: [going in on that kiss, not just so we don't have to sort this out but you know lollollol] Fraze: [likewise allowing it and not only from the standpoint that we need them to be messy and struggling for a while yet but also because he would] Bea: [deal with some of this tension hens] Fraze: [it's the first real chance you've had so I'm not gonna stop you] Bea: [it'd be silly to say it wouldn't happen so we cannot sorry] Fraze: [exactly] Bea: [okay, so obviously we're falling asleep together and equally as obviously you still have to be back asap for school etc so you're probably leaving early AM, not just for the drama of it lol] Fraze: [makes sense but I vote he brings you breakfast in bed before Bronson wakes up because 1. cute 2. you don't have to deal with Ro who's always up ridiculously early lurking and he remembered what you said about eating rice when you get back] Bea: [you've probably not had breakfast in a thousand years so that's a novelty] Fraze: [like it probably wouldn't be good cos he'd accidentally burn the toast or whatever thanks to how messy they were last night but the romantic gesture has been attempted] Bea: [tis the thought that counts henny] Fraze: [my thoughts exactly, just trying to look after her but keep it casual so she's not 😒] Bea: [we can't get too mad over some toast, even if we'd probably try not to eat it at first like g2g] Fraze: [gal you know he can keep you in that bed, don't test him] Bea: [or do, depending how much time you've left yourselves lol] Fraze: [mhmmm] Bea: [either way, you're leaving and you're gonna be folorn] Fraze: [literally would take all his willpower to not just come with you cos uni sucks but as you've not talking about it yet and can't really have the convo now that ain't happening hun] Bea: [soz babe, not at that realisation for a while yet but you did a good job sowing seeds] Fraze: [didn't wanna go too heavy handed with it because not gonna trump dead parents but like it is happening so] Bea: [you wanna end this here or do a bit of aftermath] Fraze: [I think we've covered a lot so tbh unless there's anything we want to specifically address in the aftermath it's probably good]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Alright? Janis: Not too shabby, Jimothy Janis: How about you? Jimmy: Been better Jimmy: You know 😏 Janis: Goes without saying Janis: we both make do like but all things considered Janis: think it was 'reet' as you would say Jimmy: You're so full of craic Jimmy: No wonders I miss you already like Jimmy: But yeah it was alright Janis: 🍀 Janis: Take the compliment even though with present company its not asking much of me is it Janis: No shade to Cass or Bobs Jimmy: Want another, do ya? #thirstyworkthis Jimmy: Full of 'em thankfully Janis: Who you calling thirsty?! 😉 Jimmy: Denying it? Jimmy: Bold move Janis: Your word against mine Jimmy: Fair. You are louder than me Jimmy: Gonna get drowned out Janis: 😳 Janis: Prick! Janis: Not my fault that you just grunt like a caveman at all times Jimmy: If you aren't about it, do something about it, mate Jimmy: Just saying 😏 Janis: Ha.. what, teach you proper English? Janis: Not sure I got the time or dedication to the cause tbh 🤔 Jimmy: Nah you haven't got the vocab 🇮🇪 Jimmy: Need more than 🍀 is the drama Janis: 🖕 Janis: Drama is the only subject you're about, more like Janis: not working with an unwilling pupil Jimmy: You can't be my muse across every subject, mate Jimmy: So thirsty like Janis: Ugh Janis: I hate you Janis: So glad you're not here now Jimmy: Can't shut me up from this far away though Jimmy: We both know you've got means otherwise Janis: Such a blatant hussy Janis: all becomes clear now 😂 Jimmy: Skerries brings it out in me Janis: Well what happens in Skerries, like Jimmy: Shit. Hang on Janis: Okay Janis: Is it? Jimmy: Sorry Jimmy: As you were Jimmy: What did I miss? Janis: Damn, didn't hear me lamenting under ya window? Janis: Guess the thirst isn't THAT real Janis: You good? Jimmy: Funny Jimmy: Shame you weren't, could've caught me when I was tempted to throw myself out dramatically like Janis: That bad then? Janis: 'Cos you went away, like? Jimmy: My dad just had a weekend worth of opinions he simply had to share with me about how I've been spending my time Janis: I can imagine Janis: You aren't free childcare though Janis: I know my fam are lax about certain shit others aren't but he is taking the piss Janis: Right? Jimmy: It isn't like I even mind about looking after them, he's acting as if I'm desperate to be rid when I'd rather have 'em than leave them with him Jimmy: None of us wanna play happy families with him and his missus Jimmy: Have your fucking alone time Janis: Soon to be asking that, gotta be realistic Janis: Esp. with how little he's given the kiddos re. you're Ma Janis: What a headfuck, can't just transition seamlessly, son Janis: and as for the rest of that shite, he just KNOWS that'll make you feel guilty, Jim Janis: I don't know anyone who puts as much work in with their fam, he's not got a leg to stand on there, just knows what'll work on you, that's all Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: it fucks me off though, it really does Jimmy: Feels like ages since we went away already and I'm only just back through the door Janis: I know Janis: Sometimes I wish we could just take 'em and leave for good Janis: Not really though, I know that's a lowkey fucked thing to wish considering Janis: Not trying to be an insensitive cunt, just hate it when he gets to you, if I could do something about it forreal, I would Jimmy: You do Jimmy: Not trying to make you feel awkward bout it but you do really help me Jimmy: I wouldn't be able to hack half as much of this if you weren't about Janis: 'Course you would Janis: You did before, like, since you was 13 Janis: That's mental Janis: Don't usually wanna gas you up this much but you're fucking strong, and I know you had to for 'em but still are Janis: Own it, big 'ead Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: Still wish you were here though Jimmy: Or we were there Janis: Duh, I'm a delight Janis: and not going anywhere anytime soon so Janis: you're in 🍀 Jimmy: About time I had some Janis: That's the spirit Janis: just hit your Da with that quality bants 😎 Janis: won't have no comebacks, I bet Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: Sooner I can get my own flat the better Jimmy: Debating jacking school in but then who'd be there to get Mr Lucas' rocks off Janis: Won't someone please think about Mr Lucas n his needs?! Janis: Such a hero Janis: Forreal? Be a shame, like Janis: Not just for the art department Jimmy: I know. I wouldn't get to spend all day eye fucking you for starters Jimmy: 🎻 Jimmy: I dunno, sometimes it's the only peace I get from dickheads, kids and mad dogs but they aren't paying me to be there like Janis: Can't have you using your skillz on the CG punters instead Janis: Get restraining orders or their order over ya like Janis: Makes sense though, shame there ain't a compensation scheme like Janis: Maybe you could get run over and then say the Dr fucked you over Janis: double bubble Jimmy: Get your nan round to beat me up again Jimmy: Have a go too, be a hero, mate Jimmy: If anyone asked there was loads of 'em and I didn't see a single face, sorry Janis: 😂 Janis: and defs not a pensioner and a teenage girl either like Janis: probs the 'RA after you, like Janis: sell that shit to The Sun, boyo Janis: full of good ideas, me Jimmy: Quality Jimmy: I am gonna have to get another job at least Jimmy: any ideas there? Janis: Hmm Janis: Lets put our heads together Janis: What are your skills, Mr Taylor? Jimmy: 😏 Janis: 😒 Janis: There's a market for it Janis: Mia could be your sugar mama, play your cards right Jimmy: I'd happily go broke in that case Jimmy: Live in this box room forever like Janis: You got principles now? Janis: Didn't have 'em when you was sucking face with Tam 🤔 Interesting 😂 Jimmy: When Mia's concerned it's called common sense Janis: Don't reckon you got staying power to be nothing more than another flavour of the month? Janis: She does go through them, admirable in a way given all she's seemingly working against Jimmy: I know I haven't Jimmy: Kissed goodbye to my new boy appeal ages ago Janis: I dunno Janis: I still reckon you're alright Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: Cute Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: [Sends a picture of Twix] Speaking of Jimmy: Absence has made the heart grow fonder for someone Janis: Real MVP Janis: been wearing you out instead of her Janis: You owe her, like 😜 Jimmy: I'm gonna bin off school Jimmy: I can make it up to her then Jimmy: Just for the day, keep calm dad Janis: Lol, really prove his point, like Janis: Teen's prerogative Janis: Fair though, I'm pretty knackered Jimmy: yeah why not Jimmy: you don't wanna come over to keep us both company then? Janis: You don't have to ask Janis: if you just wanna 💤 Janis: Not gonna be that bitch Jimmy: what kinda bitch you gonna be Janis: I've not decided yet, watch out world Jimmy: Keep me posted Jimmy: Twix needs to get a jump on her competition Janis: Look, baby girl, if its a competition between you and school then it is none Janis: but the lad here needs a break Janis: I'm soz 💔 Jimmy: 😎💪🏆 Jimmy: Challenge accepted Janis: You turning sleep into a sport now? Jimmy: Have you seen Twix when she gets going on a dream? #Athleticaf Janis: Aww 😍 Janis: why you taking on the champ, gonna have you picking up her shit- oh wait Janis: s'a dog's life forreal Jimmy: She was the one being #goals all along Janis: Truly Janis: can I come over actually Janis: I want to Janis: Call me thirsty all you wanna Jimmy: I want you here too Jimmy: We're even Janis: What was that? You actually admitting defeat? Janis: 😮 Janis: Never thought I'd see the day, Taylor Jimmy: Don't get used to it, like Jimmy: But I do owe you one for sorting Skerries Janis: I'll take it Janis: Even if it was hardly selfless of me like Jimmy: I'm alright with you being selfish if it means getting away from the shit Janis: Easily sorted Janis: S'my default, ask the fam Jimmy: I would but I'm gonna see how long I can carry on pretending families don't exist 😎 Janis: Not gonna say challenge accepted when you're being a good boy Janis: but I like the sound of that too Janis: plus, unfair, numbers wise Jimmy: You are at a disadvantage Jimmy: Never usually let that losing streak stop you though Jimmy: 😏 Janis: Fuck off Janis: Selective memory sore loser 😒 Janis: I got this in the bag anyway, you can't be cunty to kids Janis: I'm away there, all my fam be grown...ish Jimmy: You're gonna have to jog it for me cause all I see in my past are wins, mate Jimmy: Not that you can trusted if you've forgotten how much of a dickhead I am Janis: I know you find it hard to keep up with me but Janis: at least try, mate 😉 Jimmy: Don't have to. I'm a natural at beating you Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: 😑 Janis: I feel its my duty to inform you this isn't how you make girls like you, you know Janis: otherwise your chances of getting a new gf to stick are slim Jimmy: It's alright I don't want a new girlfriend Jimmy: And I know what works on the one I've got 😏 Janis: What a charmer Jimmy: You aren't denying it 😎 progress Janis: What's your game? Janis: Suspect Jimmy: No games Janis: Yeah right Janis: got my eye on you boy Jimmy: You always do Jimmy: 😎💪💕 Janis: 🕵 you're a shady character that's why Janis: could be a 36 y/o russian spy Jimmy: 😲 Jimmy: with this face? rude Janis: deep cover Janis: obvs want me for the olympics cos why else Jimmy: busted Janis: fans gonna be gutted Janis: never mind will they won't they Janis: rollercoaster from fake start to fake end Jimmy: We're gonna need new #s Janis: #whendimitriisnottheone #comradeBYE Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I'll get the vodka shots in Jimmy: Win you back like Janis: Not that easy Janis: but not gonna say no Jimmy: #thirsty Janis: how did we end up back here Jimmy: Too true for you to keep avoiding, mate Janis: what you think Janis: queen of avoidance Janis: won't see me for dust Jimmy: I'll see you tomorrow, babe Janis: Only by proxy Janis: 'cos my true love is there Jimmy: 🎻💔 Janis: Don't worry, we can still have mindless sex Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: Done Janis: Heart healed real fast Janis: Called it Jimmy: I'm easy Janis: Didn't wanna say it, kid Jimmy: Ask Tam she'll tell you Janis: I bet she would Janis: Unlike you I do my best to avoid her though so no tah Jimmy: Don't know what you're missing there, mate Janis: Ha, you can get fucked Janis: I'm not having a threesome with you and Tam Janis: not even for the #drama Jimmy: what about for the #craic? Jimmy: You'd be lucky anyway she's only about me 😎 Janis: So jealous 😒 Janis: Twat Janis: How about a mmf threesome, bet YOU ain't so keen now Jimmy: Depends who you're considering Jimmy: If it's Mr Lucas I'm well in Janis: All fun and games now but you know he'd be way too down Jimmy: 😒 Jimmy: Too real Janis: Mhmm, that mouth gon' get you in trouble one day Janis: what am I gonna do with you, eh? Janis: 😇 over here Jimmy: I'm the bad influence like Jimmy: Take that dad Janis: Yeah, I'll just tell him, like Janis: Problem solved Janis: Please him no end having to have a chinwag with me 😂 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: done deal Jimmy: not like we're trying to avoid him or owt Janis: oh, just thought we were trying to avoid our own, like Janis: there goes my bruch goss sesh Janis: gutted Jimmy: Keep up, mate Jimmy: Gotta totally isolate ourselves for that teen angst cliche Janis: Umm Janis: 🚩 Janis: are you going to tell me next that no one else cares about me but you? and that I need to block everyone and give you my phone Jimmy: You can tell your fam that next time Gracie's blowing up your phone Janis: I'd pay to see her rescue mission but Janis: I'll let it get to the danger zone before I do anything, standard Jimmy: Fair Jimmy: Can't fault you there Janis: Give you time to get proper creeper Janis: up ya game Jimmy: I'll take that Jimmy: Challenge accepted as per Janis: G'wan then Janis: Don't scare easy Jimmy: I already figured that out Janis: Clever boy 😉 Jimmy: have my moments Jimmy: Don't even need school, see? Janis: Still wanna jack it in then? Janis: Let Monday pass, see how you feel Jimmy: I don't wanna really Jimmy: Just being a crybaby about being stuck under this roof Jimmy: 🎻 Janis: Fair Janis: I feel it Janis: You can always squat in the barn if you're quiet Janis: won't charge you Janis: much Jimmy: I can be quiet Jimmy: If you don't blow my cover we'll be alright Janis: Excuse me Janis: I'm stealth as fuck Janis: you know you got caught the other day yeah Janis: was saving your ego but Jimmy: Nah Janis: Did so Janis: you know Gracie got her 👀 peeled for you forever Jimmy: Damn Jimmy: Should've known that she'd still be obsessed with me Janis: You? Okay 👌🍆 Janis: watch you don't rub your shine off dickhead Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Thought you'd be buzzing she's switched her allegiance like Janis: Still not getting rid of her is it Janis: Unless you both run off into the sunset and leave me in peace Jimmy: Yeah alright Jimmy: You've got Twix you'll be sorted Janis: Like you give a fuck Janis: finally getting the twin you wanted all along like Jimmy: Naturally Jimmy: Just playing the long game Janis: Bit of a weird way to play it but Janis: this your usual approach? Jimmy: You're the first twin I've dated Jimmy: Lucky Janis: I really feel it Jimmy: [Sends a pic of Twix looking adorable] Jimmy: Bet you do Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Look at what you coulda had Janis: now you're gonna have to get a pug with my sister Janis: sad Jimmy: More of a cat person anyway like 😏 Janis: are you trying to get with my mum? Janis: sicko Jimmy: Nah just over mad bitches, you know Janis: Defs wanna avoid this entire fam then Jimmy: Nah their alright Jimmy: And not just by comparison Janis: Hmm maybe from the outside looking in Janis: They aren't but what am I gonna do, emancipate myself? I've got less cash and less of a place to go so not the brightest of ideas Jimmy: Guess we're stuck Jimmy: Twix has a lot of love to give but fuck all cash Janis: Preach Janis: Useless sugar daddy Janis: should take a leaf out my sister's book clearly Jimmy: Bit late for that Jimmy: You're too loved up Janis: Nah Janis: Tell Twix to speak for herself Jimmy: [sends a voice clip of Twix howling] Jimmy: Done Janis: 😂 Janis: aren't you in enough trouble rn boy? don't start her off! Jimmy: She's a bad bitch Jimmy: Can't be told Jimmy: I blame her training meself Janis: Oh, Twix, where you gonna go? Think on, girl Janis: Get what you pay for Janis: You want results, you gotta cough up for my services Jimmy: You can't need new kicks already, mate Jimmy: I know you've been shopping like Jimmy: The social's got you exposed Janis: What makes you think I was paying? 🤔 Janis: Mean she didn't buy you a 'round? Shame Jimmy: I know you weren't Jimmy: Gonna pay when Twix hears about it though Janis: Sure the flat whites are already hunting her down too Janis: Awkward Jimmy: Tam's probably trying to stretch her skin into a suit as we speak Jimmy: She's gonna need a touch of your luck I reckon Janis: Not your usual type, long and lanky then? Janis: That'll be a toughie but she's nothing if not determined, bless her Jimmy: Dunno I can't remember Jimmy: 🤷 Janis: Nice Janis: Such a gent Jimmy: I wasn't trying to be Jimmy: She bumped into me and we had a dance to make it less awkward Jimmy: Far as that politeness went Janis: No need to lie 😂 I'm not the one that's gonna be crying about it Jimmy: No need to be jealous cause I'm not Janis: Whatever, weren't together Janis: not against any unwritten rules or other shite Jimmy: Still Jimmy: If you were jealous, like at Cass' party, no need to be Janis: You what? Janis: I weren't, you were being rude, that's all Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: 🤷 Janis: Always wanting me to be jealous Janis: 😒 Jimmy: Nope, just saying Jimmy: I'm that dickhead like Janis: What dickhead would that be? Jimmy: A jealous one Janis: Nah Janis: You ain't Janis: why would you be? nothing to be jealous about Jimmy: Forget it Janis: Can't say that, never works, like Jimmy: There's a first time for everything though Jimmy: Worth a go Janis: 🤷 Janis: fine, hit you with the shrug right back Janis: be like that Jimmy: I'm not being like anything Jimmy: I just don't wanna say it. Okay? Janis: Alright Janis: What do you wanna say? Anything? Should I go? Jimmy: Don't Jimmy: It's not your fault like, being too good for me and that Janis: Are you mental? What are you even chatting Janis: Fuck leagues, not even playing the same sport, and I ain't bragging Janis: For once Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: You're fucking stunning like, and that's just looks Janis: 🙄 Janis: Please Janis: that's the start and end of my qualities Janis: don't even make the most of that, like Jimmy: Shut up Jimmy: It isn't Jimmy: And you don't need to, that makes it worse, or better depending on the lens you're viewing through Janis: I've told you, I know what I am Janis: Ain't under any illusion I'm a catch Janis: Not fishing for sympathy like Jimmy: I'm not throwing any sympathy out Jimmy: Or compliments, just facts Jimmy: You are a catch, mate Janis: Blatantly not 'cos no one else thinks or has thought so Janis: what I'm saying, there's nothing to BE jealous about Janis: no one gunning for you 'cos I'm off the market, is there Jimmy: Only cause they can't compete with how #goals we are Janis: Yeah, that's the joke Jimmy: It doesn't have to be Jimmy: I'm not laughing Janis: No? That might've been your reality but it certainly hasn't been mine Janis: There's a reason I was a 'dyke' with no friends, and those reasons haven't disappeared Janis: You would laugh, you do Jimmy: No Janis: Forget it Janis: I'm using mine now too Jimmy: Don't Jimmy: I don't want you to forget what I'm trying to say Jimmy: Even if I am messing it up Janis: you don't have to Janis: say anything Janis: just 'cos I'm being a fucking sad case Jimmy: I want to Jimmy: There's so much shit I wanna say to you, alright? Janis: But you don't know how? Janis: Alright, Liam, fucking hell Jimmy: He was on to something Janis: Maybe Janis: 😏 Janis: You don't need this though, my shit ontop of yours, forreal, so you can forget about it, alright? Jimmy: I'm not that much of dickhead Janis: Ugh, can't you try? Janis: Always claiming the title and now where is it when we need it, eh Jimmy: Sorry Jimmy: Got no control over it like that Jimmy: Basically none around you, like Janis: You mean that? Janis: No bullshit, no bants? Jimmy: You know I do Janis: Good Janis: 'cos me either Janis: and I am jealous, really jealous Janis: and you know that too, I know Jimmy: That's why you have to hear me out Jimmy: There's no reason to be Jimmy: I swear Janis: Alright Janis: I'll try Janis: Its not personal, but I know its shitty to be on the other end of it regardless Jimmy: Good Jimmy: I can't lie now, I quite like it Jimmy: Nobody's ever been that bothered about me before Janis: Well they're thick then Janis: I Janis: I dunno Janis: Not had anyone to myself before Janis: that I wanted to keep Janis: not letting go easy, like Jimmy: Don't Jimmy: Me and you. Alright? Jimmy: That's how I want it Janis: Alright Janis: I wish we had a place to go now too Janis: Bad Janis: out of the question storming out in a teen angst rage tonight? Jimmy: It's out of the question for me not to Jimmy: I'll take the car Jimmy: Find us a place Janis: You're already in trouble I guess Janis: Lets do it Janis: I'll be waiting outside Jimmy: I'll be right there Janis: 👌 Janis: what are our chances of sneaking me in though? 🤔 seems silly to come back home only to come back tomorrow like Janis: up for the challenge? Jimmy: Put a coat on it's freezing out Jimmy: You know it 💪🏆 Janis: Cute 🖤 Janis: but as I've pulled, will do Jimmy: Funny Jimmy: Got the car keys that's the first hurdle like Jimmy: Don't even need luck Janis: Thank God, like Janis: just that good, yeah? Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: 💕