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rustbolt-answers-your-bullshit · 7 years

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Act 3, Chapter 3: As Told Through the Eyes of the Beastly Bros

“Where is he?”

EB looked at the gargantuar. “You expect me to know?”

Smash growled. “We need to find Rustbolt.” The ground trembled. A roar echoed through the streets as the gigantic beast barreled down Zombopolis’ Main Street.

“CHAAAAAAAAAARGE!” Screamed Electric Boogaloo, as his Beastly Bro plowed through the asphalt. As night sky became sunrise, Smash leaped high into the air and clutched the side of a building.

“We are not in Zombopolis anymore,” said the monstrous zombie in his gravely Russian accent.

“You mean we’re in The Shadow’s terr’itry?”

Smash nodded. “But Rustbolt is plant now, maybe we find him here.”

EB sighed. “I hope we do. We gotta give him the message, and then get back to Zomboss ASAP.”

The Smash turned his head to the side, all dramatic anime edgelord style, when they talk to the guy behind them but looks to the side instead of turning around. “If you had to choose, between Rustbolt or Zomboss, who would you choose?”

EB bit his lip and looked out in front of him. The sun was rising, and what a sight it was.

“Boogaloo. Who would you choose?”

~FLASHBACK~ (sorry I’m doing these so much, I just keep getting good ideas for them)

“Hey, Brainstorm!~” EB beamed, grinning ear to ear. “I got your text.”

“Good,” said the professor absentmindedly. He was texting on his phone. “Rustbolt will be here shortly.”

“Okay.” EB had seen Rustbolt around, and the two always said hi to each other, but had never really truly met. “So what’s this experiment?”

“Oh, you’ll see.” Brainstorm had an evil grin. EB chuckled and rolled his eyes. The prof always had EB come over, usually to be used as a power source. EB didn’t mind, though, because he’d always end up helping out in an unexpected way.

“Yo yo yo, I’m hizzity here.” Rustbolt descended through an open roof panel, his rocket boots slowly shutting off as he descended to the floor.

“That was AWESOME!” Boogaloo hopped up and down a few times, excited and amazed.

Rustbolt smirked and bowed. “Thanks, Electric Boogaloo.”

EB and Brainstorm looked at each other. Their cheeks puffed up as smiles grew, and they simultaneously burst out laughing.”Bruh, Just say EB.”

Rustbolt chuckled and rolled his eyes. “You’re a real comedian, arentcha.”

“I’m as funny as my hair is big,” EB popped and locked, pointing to his ginger afro.

“Your hair is big, but know what’s bigger?~” Rustbolt pointed to his crotch. “I named it the Hydraulic Humper.”

Two very different reactions came:

Brainstorm, caught COMPLETELY off guard, reeled in a mixture of disgust and horror.

EB, however, howled with laughter. “The hydraulic humper, HAHAHA!”

Rustbolt chuckled. “I just made that up on the spot to be honest. I wouldn’t actually name it. Only weirdos and lonely people name theirs.”

EB, still laughing, patted Rustbolt’s shoulder. “I like you.”

“I like you too, man.” Rustbolt slapped his hand over EB’s face.

The two burst out laughing.

“Okay you two.” Brainstorm coughed to get their attention. “Let’s start the experiment.”

Both nodded in unison, still quietly giggling.

“Rustbolt, your shrink ray, please.”

“Bingo bongo, bro.” Rustbolt produced his shrink ray.

“Ready to fire?”

“‘Course, bro. What at?”

Brainstorm gestured to the wall.

Rustbolt clicked his tongue and shot fingerguns at Brainstorm. “Undastood.”

Brainstorm ushered the two so that EB was behind Rustbolt, then he turned to the dead dancer. “Zap Rustbolt.”

“Wait WHAT!?” Rustbolt turned to look at the other two.

“I never agreed to this,” said EB reluctantly.

“FOR SCIENCE!” Brainstorm pointed to EB, then Rustbolt.

EB looked away, wincing, and made a finger gun. Out shot bolts of electricity. They arced in the air and zapped Rustbolt in the back. Motors whirred, joints screeched and the shrink ray fired up. Rustbolt shrieked in pain. After what semed like minutes on end to EB, the shrink ray fired.

When the smoke from Rustbolt’s suit cleared, Rustbolt stood hunched over. Before him was… Nothing. The walls were blown to smithereens.

Rustbolt collapsed onto the floor.

“You could’ve killed him! AGAIN!” EB screamed.

Brainstorm chuckled. Then that chuckle grew into a full-on maniacal cackle.

EB dragged off Rustbolt’s limp body, and brought him to his house. He layed the unconcious zom down in his bed, and grabbed a Gatorade Frost from his fridge. What, you thought that just because there are zombies that there would be no brands? Zombies don’t kill ALL the humans. Because zombies don’t know how to make Gatorade.

When Rustbolt woke up, EB handed him the electrolyte-replenishing beverage.

“That was a shocking turn of events,” remarked Rustbolt as he swished around the Glacier Freeze in his bottle. EB hooted with laughter.

Ever since then, EB hung out with Rustbolt more and more, and spent less and less time with Brainstorm.

~UNFLASHBACK~

“Rustbolt,” EB said, 100% confident in his decision.

Smash smiled. “I would have hard time choosing. Probably Zomboss, but I would swear to myself never to lay a hand on Rustbolt.”

“Well I mean, you’d crush him.”

Smash let out a laugh. “You are funny. We go see Green Shadow now.”

Smash hopped from building to building. “Did you see strange pink dot last night?”

“Yeah. Weird. Think it was a comet?”

Smash continued to building hop. “Perhaps. Just hope is not laser from space gods.” Before EB had a chance to chuckle, he sniffed the air. “I smell metal.”

A smile slapped itself on ElectroBoogie’s face. “ONWARD, MY NOBLE BEAST!”

Smash, playing along with the whole “beast” thing, roared loudly in response. He lunged at the street, embedding himself into the road and galloped down the street at top speed.

Rustbolt heard a roar. A very familiar roar. His eyes widened as he saw Smash and EB charging towards him. He cowered, almost flinching as the two beastly heroes stopped on a dime (okay a very very VERY BIG DIME BUT STILL A DIME) in front of him.

“Hey, Rustbolt. There’s something we need to tell you. Like now.” EB had a sense of urgency in his tone.

“Zomboss is giving speech today. About YOU.” Smash pointed a huge, beefy finger at the iron clad. “We figure we give you TV to watch on.”

The gargantuar pulled out one of those “Maniacal Laugh TVs,” as they’re called, and handed it to Rustbolt.

“You expect me to carry this?”

“It flies, dummy.”

“Alrighty then.” Rustbolt watched Smash let go of the television set, and the propeller started to spin, somehow lifting the entire appliance. After they said their goodbyes, EB and Smash turned around and rushed back off the way they came.

Rustbolt, after an hour, finally managed to lug this thing back to Flare’s. For something that could fly, DAMN was it heavy. He opened the door to see SF on an Xbox One. “Yo Gree, you ready?” She was talking into a headset, custom made to actually fit on a flower.

“Whatcha playing?” Asked Rustbolt.

“Portal 2,” said Solar Flare. “Nah, just talking to Rustbolt, he just walked in.”

“Portal 2? Oh my god that’s like ONE OF MY FAVORITE GAMES”

“Heheh. Green Shadow says ‘you and me both.’“

“Am I really that loud?” Rustbolt asked.

“Nah, It’s just that there’s not much noise to drown you out. It’s pretty quiet because it’s still early morning.”

“Yeah wait speaking of, how’d Green Shadow get home so fast?”

“She knows her way around town, and you don’t,” Solar Flare said.

“Point taken.” Rustbolt hauled the TV inside and closed the door.

“Alright GS, after this next test I’m going to get off. My eyes are starting to hurt.”

“I used to play this with Brainstorm,” Rustbolt said. “It was so much fun.”

“Maybe you can play one day with Citron, he loves this game.”

Rustbolt shrugged and watched Solar Flare and Green Shadow work on solving the test. After she turned off the Xbox, she tossed the controller to the side and stood up. When the controller hit the floor, Rustbolt stumbled to the side. SF turned to him, confused.

“You didn’t just do that because to the CONTROLLER, did you?”

“God dammit it works with Xbox controllers too.”

“NO WAY.” SF dived for the controller and started mashing buttons.

Rustbolt jumped, punched, shot toast, super-blocked, flew around, crawled, squatted, kicked, crouched, combo-moved, blew bubbles, and swatted his spatula. Not necessarily in that order, though.

SF smirked, turning off the controller. “I’ll keep that in mind,” she said, giggling. Maybe Spudow can set up a donkey kong level for me to play.

“How about NO.”

“I wonder what I could do with my VIVE controllers...”

“SF, for real. This suit has alot of stuff on it, I don’t want you toying with it.”

“Oh shut up, you big baby. I’ll be responsible. I’ll put a camera on a rotobega and play Grand Theft Zombo.”

“Let’s do literally the opposite of that thing that you just said.”

“This afternoon that’s what we’re doing.”

Rustbolt looked at the TV he had hauled into the house. “Please, SF. I need to be watching that TV in the afternoon.” He pointed to it.

SF looked over at it. “Why?”

“Zomboss said he was gonna give a speech about me today. I need to see what he’s gonna say. PLEASE, Solar Flare.”

Solar Flare looked at the zombie before her.

This was a zombie that she had fought hundreds of times. The zombie that was now actually LIVING with her. “If it means that much to you, Rustbolt, I won’t get in your way.” She smiled weakly.

She definitely wasn’t expecting Rustbolt to pick her up and hug her. But he did.

And you know what? She hugged back.

#story #Rustbolt #pvz #pvz heroes #plants vs zombies heroes #act 3 #chapter 3

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