#GONNA SCREAM AND CRY AND SCREAM FOREVERRRR!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

braineater444 · 2 years

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can i just say that my brain is rotting with thoughts of gross intruder sanzu and rindou who takes advantage of naive and virgin reader 😫 they'd record themselves violating u while laughing and probably upload the vid into some sketchy ass website too 😭😭 foaming at the mouth at the thought of them taking turns with you 😫🙏👍💅‼️😴😌🥺🤔😅😚🥺🥺🥺🥺

Tw/Cw: LOTS OF Blood, Noncon, Spit, Grossness, Virginity, Kinda Graphic, Minimal editing cuz im NOT an editor 😴

A/N: OKAY THIS TOOK ME FOREVER TO WRITE BECAUSE IVE BEEN STRUGGLING WITH IT FOR MONTHS DESPITE BEING VERY ENTICED AND ENTERTAINED BY THE IDEA… It got far more off the rails than I initially expected but liiiikkkkee… it’s literally this acc so iddkk. Ive been wanting to write this foreverrrr…

Even Rindō is caught off guard by the scream that tears through your vocal chords when Sanzu sheaths himself inside of you. He looks at the other man in shock, but Sanzu smiles wickedly at him while you gasp for air under his hold.

“Rin, she’s bleeding.” Sanzu says before pulling out and thrusting back in again just to hear you scream. With the next one, something within you breaks and your arms give out under you — Rin only finds his pants more uncomfortable than before.

You fall face first onto your floor and Rindō only hums his disapproval. Your pretty face needs to be on camera; it’s what’ll get them views and make them some money. Though neither of them is hurting for a check… they’re doing this for their own twisted enjoyment. Plus, the beating he gave you would be meaningless if you weren’t going to show it off under the bright flash of his phone camera, right?.

In an instant, Sanzu’s hand is in your hair and dragging you back up as he uses your unprepared virgin cunt for himself. You groan in desperation and agony, but it only goes ignored by the two men who broke into your home. You feel your nose might be broken.

Rindō bends down to your level, phone in your face, and the bright light making you squint. His free hand comes to your jaw, wet with blood from being hit so many times. He stops to admire his work. Typically, a busted lip is small and inconsequential, but the one he’s given you is widely split and gushing blood down your chin. It’ll require stitches after this, he’s sure. Maybe he should’ve taken his ring off before hitting you, but you’re stunning like this. Even without a bulky ring, your nose would bleed in the same way it is now. The blood from your nostrils curve around the outline of your lips and meet at your chin. You look absolutely miserable as tears fall from your eyes, and Rindō can’t take his eyes off of you.

“It hurts. Please let me go. I promise I won’t tell anybody.” You beg, pain running through your face. You can’t even bring yourself to look at the man you’re trying to reason with. Even with your head towards the camera, you can’t see it or him, you can only make out the outline of his hand wrapped tightly around his phone.The brightness of his phone flashlight hurts to even look at.

“It won’t matter if you tell,” Rindō says. “Everyone’s gonna know about you.” He smiles, but you can’t see it, anyway. Sanzu chuckles behind you.

“Please!” You cry. Your hand moves back to push at the pink-haired man’s hips and your body tries to move away from him, but all it takes is a powerful tug on your hair for you to knock it off. Instead, this time, your hand moves forward to push the other man’s camera out of your face. It works… briefly. You get a flash of his smile from behind the light and then you’re met with a stern slap to the face. It’s only right that another shriek tears through you with the pain of his actions. With that, the other man’s hand leaves your hair.

Rindō chuckles. He hasn’t seen misery like yours in a while. It’s beautiful.

His light’s back in your face like it never left, illuminating your tearful, bloody, and drool-filled nightmare. He sees his hands covered in your blood, spit, and tears and feels your body jolting forward with the work Sanzu’s putting in and feels something euphoric wash over him. You’ll be fucked up forever after this.

“Smile for me.” He coos, hand releasing your jaw, as if this was a wholesome moment and doing something for him would somehow make it more worth doing. He’s mocking you. “C’mon smile,” He says as he runs the same gross hand down the side of your face. You spit at him and barely miss. Rindō laughs at your defiance. “Sanzu…”

Before Rindō has to tell him what he wants, he’s already moving. In an instant, he’s fish hooking both sides of your mouth and spreading your busted lip wider. With every collision of your hips, it only hurts more.

“So pretty,” Rindō utters softly at the sight of your bloody teeth shining in the light. His mouth comes to yours without a thought running through his mind, as he licks the entire inside. The only taste he registers in full is the familiar irony taste of blood. This rings especially true when he opts to lick up the blood and drool mixture from your chin that leads right to the tear in your lip at which he flicks his tongue.

You pause in shock, unable to move in disgust and abject horror. He spits in your face, but unlike you, he doesn’t miss.

“You can let her go.” He says. Hands leave your mouth, but it all goes unregistered by you. By now, you’ve stopped crying, stopped screaming, and you’re on your hands and knees staring at the man in front of you, deaf to the sounds of skin slapping and the feeling of another man buried inside of you. The only thing you can feel is the pain in your face, the glob of spit sliding over your eye and shock. His smile is noticeably more unnerving than before as the silence between the two of you becomes overwhelming.

There’s nothing to say. There are no words. The only thing that brings you back to where you are and what’s happening is the man behind you slamming your entire body down onto the floor and resting his weight on top of you as he cums inside you. You can feel his breath on your neck and feel his hand clamoring for something, anything to hold. He lands on sliding his hand under you to harshly latch on to your chest. You whimper, but nothing else; you’re defeated.

You feel him move from on top of you and start to drag your body away. The pain between your legs is unbearable; you can’t stand up. You don’t make more than a couple of inches before you fall flat on your face. You can only watch as the men switch places above you, the pink haired one holding his own camera as he settles in front of you.

Your hand reaches for the space beside you, fingers straining at you, trying to grip the space and pull your body away. It doesn’t work. You’re left in the same spot.

“Where are you going?” Sanzu asks, camera pointed at your every move.

Rin watches you struggle silently from behind, wanting to see how far you can get before the countdown in his mind ends.

At five you’re back up on your elbows, dragging yourself less than an inch.

At four you move a little further and stronger than before.

Three only sees you pull yourself less than before and fall flat again.

Two is where the waterworks and begging start back up.

One is where he drags you back to them.

#guess who’s got a computer again??? not me lol.#i wrote this on a laptop that doesn’t even belong to me!!#tokyo rev smut #tokyo rev x reader #tokyo revengers smut #tokyo revengers x reader #tw: noncon #tw: abuse #rindou smut #tw: violence #sanzu smut

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cosmosogler · 7 years

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today i did barely anything!!! i got up like five minutes earlier than i did yesterday. i was having dreams... i don’t remember what they were about this time. i woke up exhausted and droopy-eyed already.

what even happened all day... i mostly stayed in my room. for lunch i had more hummus because i hate myself and the hummus was really spicy so i ate all of it. that’s a whole tub gone in the span of less than 24 hours.

after that i hung out with eve and the doog for a while. then mom and i went to the grocery store. mom had to yell at me about the potato salad though, because i said i tolerated feta cheese and she took that to mean i loved it or something and then got upset with me when i wasn’t too excited about the recipe when we were buying the vegetables and feta cheese.

the pain had started before that though, when i was standing with the cart at the deli while mom looked at vegetables. it’s hard to describe. it was under my chest, but pretty deep in there. i was not happy at all. it made me want to stop breathing, even though it wasn’t my lungs or diaphragm in particular that hurt. it was below them. it felt like something heavy was sitting on my organs. i was nervous about making any displays of pain though because mom likes to either overreact because something is wrong with her baby!!! or tell me it’s all in my head and i’m overreacting.

yeah, i know.

so i hobbled around the aisles behind her and tried not to imagine actually eating any of the food on the shelves while still trying to make decisions about my meals for the next week. i thought i was gonna throw up.

hummus... doesn’t make me sick. i don’t know what was happening. when we got home i forced myself upstairs and stayed in my room for a long time again. i couldn’t get comfortable though. the chair is rubbing against my legs all wrong and the carpet feels wrong on my feet and my feet aren’t sitting right and i keep fidgeting. that was happening a lot yesterday too, and last night. it took foreverrrr to fall asleep.

i felt kinda bad about going out in public with the gross patch of damaged skin on my face. it’s like, a little bigger than a dime. i accidentally scraped it and it was like, screaming internally for a whole minute. i will try not to mess with it before i go to bed...

then i took eve and wiley for a walk!!! together!!!! that was a really bad idea. they really bring out the worst in each other. they both pulled as hard as they could the whole time because eve likes to be in front but her leash is a few inches shorter than wiley’s. and wiley likes to annoy eve so he made sure to stay out in front. and when one of them stopped to check out a bush, ONLY one of them stopped, so i’d get jerked forward when the other one took off. a little girl and her dad were at the park and wiley got a few pettings, but eve started barking and whining because the people were too close to her. and wiley doesn’t usually stop to poop in the evenings, but today he did! so we had to truck it all the way back to the park to throw away the bag and get a new one from the dispenser. eve was happy to go inside and lay down when we got back home, but we didn’t go far enough to tire wiley out.

i dunno. i told myself i’d take them both out today and take wiley out for a while, but when it came time to walk them i was just so tired and the muscles in my toes were really hurting me. that hasn’t gone away.

after i fed the dogs i was watching diogi trip her way around the table and i suggested to mom that we get her some booties for her back legs, to give her more traction. mom said that dad is taking her to mike tomorrow. since that response had nothing to do with what i said, i assume she meant that when diogi goes to the vet tomorrow, she might not come back.

i am really struggling emotionally with this. when i was sitting at the table after dinner dad said that randi was a lot like this too at the end. i said “yeah but randi was... dying.” she’d had cancer and was unable to walk the last few days... dad said “yeah exactly.” i said that diogi’s case was pretty different, since she seemed very alert. and also she eats everything i put in front of her. randi wouldn’t eat anything and when she drank water she threw it up.

when is the right time to euthanize your pet? is there even a right time? i mean yeah at some point they are in a lot of pain and they’re not going to get better, but diogi doesn’t seem too bothered by it right now. are you supposed to kill the dog before they are in too much pain? why doesn’t that extend to all of old age? why not quit while you’re ahead, before everything goes bad and you’re still happy? why be alive in the first place?

i don’t want my dogs to die... but i know that it will happen whether i accept it or not. and it will probably happen soon. it’s not something you can put off forever or until you’re ready to deal with it like making a phone call or emailing your grad schools about a change in your transcript. which i still haven’t done (ha ha). i keep hoping that “soon” will extend farther and farther out every day my dogs are still alive but they are both thirteen. that’s not how it works.

i feel bad about mourning them while they’re still alive... i think that no matter how ready i think i am for it, i will still shatter into a million pieces when it happens. and who am i going to go to for comfort. my mom treats them like furniture. my dad is Manly and therefore emotionally unavailable. my brother does his best to emulate dad. my gramma and grampa are going to say “that’s life.”

i am probably going to outlive gramma and grampa too.

it destroyed me that i didn’t get to be with randi and jake when they died, not really. i was upstairs when randi died on the floor. i should have been with her. the last thing jake saw was some vet he didn’t know. i think by that point he was so far gone he didn’t know what he was looking at any more though.

crying too hard, eyes dried out, burns, going to take small break.

mmmm i made some plans with asher to hang out on tuesday. i also talked a little bit about how mother is a turbo asshole. i will try to remember to write about that more maybe later.

oh. today before dinner i was talking to mom about something. i guess i was watching her cook dinner. diogi was trying to walk and fell down on the slick wood paneling. so she just laid down. eve walked over and laid down next to her. i said “aww, i wish i’d brought my phone.” mom said “why,” and i said “look at those two losers.” mom turned around and saw them laying side by side, leaning against each other, and said “i have my phone right here.” i said “yeah but is the clicker thing turned off?” and she said “yeah.” diogi hates cameras and bright lights. her old owner’s roommates used to shine flashlights in her eyes so she’s real skittish around anything that flashes. neither of them likes the “picture taken” click that the phone makes.

so mom pulled out the phone and very slowly stood there trying to get a picture. diogi noticed and sat up. i said “she’s probably not going to lay back down,” and mom said “just wait.” so i sat down by wiley, which encouraged both eve and doogles to get up and walk over. mom whipped out the camera and it both flashed AND clicked. diogi took off. i actually got mad for real.

“you said the clicker was off!” i said. mom shrugged. “at least i got a picture.” “that wasn’t the point,” i said.

i found diogi trying to hide under dad’s side of the bed.

it’s kind of fascinating how little other living things matter to mother.

ok, i will talk about mother a little bit since it’s not 1 yet and i gotta make sure i go to bed later than i want every night.

mom acts like she thinks other people/animals don’t have feelings. if she does think they have feelings, she definitely doesn’t think those feelings are as real or as important as hers.

and... there’s not really anything wrong with putting yourself first. but she’s so mean about it. she will only do something you ask as long as it’s something she already wanted to do. she will only keep your secrets for as long as she feels like. she will only listen to what you say until she wants to hurt you. then she takes what you said and throws it back at you. and anything can make her want to hurt you. it doesn’t even need to have anything to do with you.

sometimes (every time without fail) she asks me a question and while i’m in the process of answering, like actually talking, she will ask the same question in a different way. like, why do you ask me like you want an answer if you don’t actually want to hear what i have to say?

there is nothing that i actually like about her. i can see that she’s good at some things, and useful for others, but... i don’t like those things about her either. am i a bad person for viewing my mother as a tool more than a person i want to interact with? does that mean i see other people like that too? am i capable of seeing other people as anything more than useful for whatever? can that really be considered friendship?

it’s so hard to not distance myself from people. they are obviously not machines that behave predictably and consistently. anyone could attack me at any time for any reason. that’s what mother does. that’s what my dad does. that’s what my sister does. that’s what craig did. that’s what all the kids at christian school did, and jim did, and and and

and what i did until basically college. violently and often without warning. i had no idea what was going on with my temper. i deserved everything that happened to me. it’s what i inflicted on other people. every time craig hurt me, i deserved it, because i would say things just to hurt other people too. that’s why i stayed with him for so long. it was my punishment for seeing the world the way mother sees the world, and treating the people in the world like mother would.

i had to be punished. it was fair. if i got away with what i did i would have felt bad about it forever. even though i still feel really bad about it. so, you know. i just can’t forgive myself for acting on my rage. for throwing temper tantrums and kicking and screaming well into grade school. for all the times i didn’t go to class because i wanted to stay outside. for all the times i wandered off from detention because the sun was hurting my eyes and sitting outdoors doing nothing in the middle of the day in august in phoenix arizona was boring and hard. for all the times i didn’t get up to use the bathroom because i had something more interesting to do until mom threatened me with diapers. no wonder she thinks i’m mentally challenged. for yelling at my friends and pouring water on them even during middle school.

in christian school i got what i deserved. i didn’t deserve friends. i deserved all the times i got spat on and told on even when i didn’t do anything wrong, all the times i got pushed around and beat up and tied to the goalposts on the soccer field. i’m lucky i was physically disabled (mom didn’t think so though) or else i might have physically hurt someone.

i’m so miserable. i miss having a partner. don’t look at me. my face is bleeding.

#i talk about animal death #but no one actually died recently so dont worry

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