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kiwisbell · 6 months

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kiwi's fic recs - volume one!

Hi, friends!! It's been a few months now since I came to tumblr, and in that time, I have read a lot of fics. Like, a lot. So, I thought it was about time I compiled some of my faves into some appreciation posts in order to show all of these amazing authors some much-deserved love!!!

This volume consists of all my October reads, to maintain some semblance of timeliness (and to give myself less of a headache!). I will be creating subsequent volumes, so this functions as a kind of trial run - for now, I hope you'll find something below that you enjoy. I can pretty much guarantee that you will!

You'll find my scrambly thots listed next to the -> under each fic. For instalments of series I've read in the past month, I've linked the masterlist, so you can find all the chapters in one spot!

Please see individual fics for tags and warnings. Not every work is going to work for everyone, and that's okay! A large proportion of these fics are 18+ only. Thank you kindly xoxo

JOEL MILLER

Thirsty --- @chloeangelic -> stepdad!joel fucks me in the kitchen?? oops i'm signing up -> this is quick and dirty and really fucking hot -> joel's characterisation and the writing in this fic is unbelievably sexy, what a fic omg!!!

punishment --- @joelsgreys -> beast!joel didn't work out, so we're getting fucked by lumberjack!joel (i am not complaining) -> i know you said you wrote this in one night but baby it does not come across that way like.. this is delectable -> i'm dressing as belle next year strawberry --- @joelsgreys -> self-indulgent fics are what we need more of in this economy!!! -> such a perfect one-shot injected with so much obvious love and care that you have no choice but to become obsessed

Divine Dynasty [series masterlist] --- @cavillscurls -> i'm obsessed with this series and with the new prequel, i'm in much deeper now -> you can tell mya cares so deeply about these characters and this world and every single sentence puts that across -> the writing in this series is so good and the dynamic between joel and reader is really special, everyone read this now pls Eyes On Me [joel x reader x tommy] --- @cavillscurls -> it's hard to sum up my thots when i've already annoyed mya with a huge reblog but this is so. hot. -> gorgeous gorgeous communication in this relationship and the aftercare is everything -> tommy can watch anytime i stg Someone to Lean On --- @cavillscurls -> joel miller braids your hair and eats you out -> need i say more?? Sugar & Spice [sequel to Soft & Sweet] --- @cavillscurls -> some of the best joel characterisation i've seen on this godforsaken site and i mean it!! -> just discovered i'm saving myself for joel miller -> such an entrancing read and with mya's writing that is no surprise

creep it real! --- @swiftispunk -> halloween specials will always have me kicking my feet but this is on a new level han -> my reblog was a little unhinged but i will be more composed here -> the dialogue is genuine perfection, the backstory we get on reader is so entrenched in the story (esp. for a one-shot!!), and the smut sent me to mars -> joel opens a beer with his belt buckle. will you read it now?? yeah, that's what i thought. your summer dream [series masterlist] --- @swiftispunk -> han already knows how much i love this series but i'll scream abt it here too -> this series lives in my head rent-free -> if you haven't read it, literally what else are you doing?? -> i've reread this a million times and it will never be enough

trick or treat --- @tieronecrush -> halloween!joel -> woody!joel -> me and sam screaming at each other in DMs about those huge shoulders in that cow-print vest -> a seriously gorgeous rumination on being a dad to two girls and the insecurities that come with getting older -> sarah and ellie being adorable, reader and joel being adorable, everyone being adorable hot & heavy [series masterlist] --- @tieronecrush -> can you tell i love sam?? -> she put out the bangers this month fr -> one of my favourite series ever

to freeze or to thaw --- @joelscruff -> absolutely stunning writing -> such a short and captivating fic with some seriously filthy smut (in the snow!!) -> made me feel like i needed to run away into the woods and find a slightly evil man to keep me warm -> this scratches every itch just right and in so little time.. i'm blown away

YOU'RE POISON, BUT A GOOD KIND --- @northernbluess -> i screamed about this fic in my reblog and in my DMs with el but this is SO FUCKING GOOD Y'ALL -> the desperation, the imagery, the smut??? screaming and shaking -> i am a sex pollen lover and i am not ashamed to admit it

Watch Party --- @sweetercalypso -> literally such a fun and creative idea!! and so hot too oh my god -> sign me up for a railing by poltergeist!joel Texas Hold 'Em --- @sweetercalypso -> strip poker babyyy -> bold!reader and bold!joel while we're at it!!

quit it --- @iamasaddie -> dear god the oral fixation -> psychological freudian smut is not what i expected this month but it is what i received and it is what i now crave

a lover's pinch [series masterlist] --- @hier--soir -> some of the most stunning writing i've seen on here -> so many references to academia and literature that simultaneously trigger me and make me horny -> the writing will fling you into the sun i promise -> an absolute must-read, perfect in every way

Something Bad --- @fettuccin-e -> kinktober: corruption -> i'll s*** his d*** anytime anywhere anyhow

made by hand --- @tinycozycomfort -> alex. writes. poetry. bitches. -> copying the comment i left in my reblog bc it sums up my thoughts about this fic -> this fic is a masterclass in brevity, emotion, smut—it's so good. everyone please read it immediately flowering --- @tinycozycomfort -> sub!joel yes please?? -> my first fic of alex's and i fell in love -> baby... the dialogue.... i was shocked. i was in tears almost

go ahead and cry, little girl --- @party-hearses -> actual poetry here folks -> ridiculously sexy but also ridiculously gorgeous writing like??? HELLO? -> so real about needing to have the feelings fucked out of you

never enough --- @amanitacowboy -> the dirty talk in this fic..... -> holy shit -> filthy and nasty and hot and perfect yupyupyup

a matter of time --- @cupofjoel -> made me cry -> absolutely stunning writing (but it's bea, what you u expect) -> a vulnerable and emotional joel is something we rarely see but is such a treat -> the ending!!!! i read this on the train so the ppl behind me got a good show body language --- @cupofjoel -> the first fic i ever read by bea and i never looked back!! -> so fucking HOT -> cameras? cameras.

love me better, kiss me back --- @bastardmandennis -> snowball kiss!!! -> i thought about this for so long after i finished it be my daddy --- @bastardmandennis -> my first introduction to lexi, and fuck what an impression -> huge huge fan of the writing style and the obvious care and dedication that went into this fic -> it's all perfect just read it -> dad!joel hehehe

Old Habits --- @wheresarizona -> such a palpable and genuinely sweet dynamic between joel and reader, plus fantastic smut!!

Sins of My Father [series masterlist] --- @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin -> angela indulging my sugar daddy fantasies tbh... -> *in stefon from snl voice* this fic has everything, protective!joel, sugar daddy!joel, infidelity

grab the bull by the horns --- @proxima-writes -> save a bull ride a miller!! -> i am SAT for male whimpering -> such a fun fic to read and the writing is so dynamic

my special toy --- @millerscoffee -> turned me into a rabid animal that needed to be put down -> the amount of daddy!joel i've read this month has changed me as a person

JAVIER PEÑA

When You Wish on a Shooting Star --- @mandoisapunk -> husband!javi will forever occupy my mind [pussy] and soul -> wedding anniversary antics!!!

ONLY ANGEL [series masterlist] --- @tieronecrush -> ch. 6 just came out and i did scream actually!!! -> such a sweet and sexy and sad rollercoaster of emotions and with such beautiful writing because... it's sam... so obviously -> javi and bebita are so beautiful and i need them to be happy pls and thank you (looking directly at you bestie)

FRANKIE MORALES

The First Time --- @fettuccin-e -> frankie has a big dick pass it on -> size. kink.

i only have eyes for you --- @tieronecrush -> this one is pure fluff, like so fucking sweet -> frankie gets glasses babyyy -> really just a heartwarming fic & a total pick-me-up -> frankie getting the love he deserves

Tag-Teaming [frankie x reader x santi] --- @fettuccin-e -> kinktober: threesome -> dizzy and throwing up and crying

DIN DJARIN

Just This Once --- @fettuccin-e -> bestie is making the rounds in this wrap-up -> din cannot physically control himself he is down horrendous and it's super hot -> for such a quick turnaround for all of your kinktober fics your writing literally never disappoints omfg.

DAVE YORK

Obsession --- @tropes-and-tales -> kinktober: voyeurism -> SUCH an underrated dave fic!!! oh my god!! -> the writing has so much personality and i loved every single sentence!

Whew, that took just about forever. I hope I didn't fuck anything up lol. If you've made it this far, congratulations!! I sincerely hope you'll check out some of these amazing works because I really love and admire every one of these authors.

If you have any recs of your own that you would like to send me, my inbox and DMs are always open! Until the next volume, besties!!

xoxo kiwi 🥝

#kiwisbell's recs #fic recs #october wrap up #joel miller #javier peña #frankie morales #din djarin #dave york #joel miller fic #din djarin fic #frankie morales fic #dave york fic #javier peña fic

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idlnmclean · 4 years

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star-anise

replied to your post

“star-anise: If you’re arguing that consensual BDSM is exactly the...”

@idlnmclean Sources pls; this has probably been written about, so I'd like to see it

I am exhausted on this topic, and for clarification, I am not arguing "consensual BDSM is exactly the same as abuse"; I am specifically addressing the unspoken implications of arguing the negative, and I am acting on the side of extreme caution because the BDSM communities are dangerous for naive and uninformed well meaning people to blunder into; you might happen to have one of the better communities in your area and get connected with some great people, but the average experience is more negative and more dangerous in the US than blundering into random bars, cafes, or clubs. Online communities in some ways are arguably more dangerous because of the way the Internet allows coordination at an international scale between predatory forces and concentration of what might otherwise be dispersed in physically local communities.

From my perspective, all of what I claim is well documented from around 2011 to 2014 at least on my tumblr. You can find many if not most posts which link to other more extensively sourced posts by searching “sites:idlnmclean.tumblr.com BDSM” or ““sites:idlnmclean.tumblr.com Fetlife” in Google.

The data gathered in FAADE is probably the most directly informative data available on the topic.

After several hours of digging through the archives, I was able to find the specific survey that I am quoting implicitly. It is from the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, and the Principle Investigator is Susan Wright--who ended up being the Community Manager at Fetlife--it is their survey that I am specifically citing and is available along with other resources at their website.

“60% of the people who reported having their pre-negotiated limits violated were violated two or more times(see Figure 9). In addition, nearly half (608/1,309 respondents) who reported their consent was violated within a BDSM scene or relationship reported they had been sexually assaulted as an adult outside a BDSM context. By comparison, only 26% of those whose consent wasn’t violated have been sexually assaulted as an adult outside a BDSM context.“

“If you remove the respondents who stated the consent violation was not serious enough to report (496 people), 501 people chose not to report for other reasons. Only 29 people reported the violation to the police, despite the fact that 96 people experienced an injury that required some medical attention. This is much worse than traditional reporting rates: according to the Justice Department’s National Crime Victimization Survey: 2008-2012, sexual assault is one of the most under-reported crimes, with 68%of sexual assaults not reported. The under-reporting found in this survey may be due in part to the fact that the majority of kinky people are not out due to discrimination.”

Maymay breaks it down in a simplified model here. There are subsequent reports that contradict to some degree the conclusions, but they do so by abuse of the statistics, their domain of application (like comparing studies of Australian BDSM practitioners to those of US practitioners as if they are generalizable or interchangeable), or by accepting strict notions of what constitutes abuse that happen to exclude marginal abuses or vague abuses or unreported abuses (like only recording an incident of abuse as such if it was charged and prosecuted in a court of law under a legally defined notion of criminal abuse).

From the Vice article linked above for example:

According to a large survey of BDSM practitioners conducted by the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF) in 2012, at least 85 percent of respondents endorsed statements like "a person can revoke consent at any time," "consent should be an ongoing discussion in a relationship," and "clear, overt consent must be given before a scene." Over 93 percent of respondents endorsed the statement "consent is not valid when coerced."

85% of the respondents endorsing a statement like "a person can revoke consent at any time," "consent should be an ongoing discussion in a relationship," and "clear, overt consent must be given before a scene." does not actually tell us anything about the rates of abuse in that community; we actually should expect particularly abusive communities to resoundingly tell us with undue confidence exactly what they expect us to want to hear. That “There is No war in Ba Sing Se“. What this says is that the community believes or at least articulates to surveyors attempting to quantify community sentiment that these are the things which should be publicly reported or that they personally emotionally feel like reporting in a survey.

“Over 93 percent of respondents endorsed the statement "consent is not valid when coerced."“ doesn’t tell us that the respondents do not coerce consent. All it tells us is that respondents tell surveyors that when that is an option among a limited set of multiple choice responses.

The more important data in the survey for understanding what is going on in the communities is the reporting or failure to report violations. On both of those counts, there are serious problems compared to national average that allow inference of plausible intervals or distributions of abuse regardless of community sentiment in survey.

The Vice article also misstates the domain of discourse and the results. The title of the paper they are drawing from is “Participating in a Culture of Consent May Be Associated With Lower Rape-Supportive Beliefs”. A BDSM community can be a Culture of Consent, but it is not necessarily the case that any given BDSM community at random will be a Culture of Consent. It is also important to note the division between “Consent as a Felt Sense” vs “Consent as Permission”; a culture that respects the empirical “Consent as a Felt Sense” may very well be a proper Culture of Consent, but a culture that holds “Consent as Permission” or “Consent as Contract” or similar legalistic models of consent over “Consent as a Felt Sense” are intrinsically violative, coercive, and immensely unjust. The latter is the situation of the US legal system, the high prevalence of domestic abuse among police officer families, human trafficking, and the carceral slave state.

The trick is identifying a Culture of Consent from an impostor.

The abuse found in BDSM communities isn’t exactly unique to them; it is just more concentrated because of the commonality of interests among abusers as well as the four conditions: the presence of a safe haven, organizational structure, leadership, and recruitment techniques.

These four conditions are necessary and jointly sufficient to explain terrorist campaign emergence.

Here’s a few of the directly relevant links, but I know that there are between dozens to hundreds of posts or reblogs on my tumblr which for whatever reason are not well indexed by the search engines so not limited to: https://idlnmclean.tumblr.com/post/29295769997/free-fetlife-proxy-lets-you-browse-fetlife-without

https://idlnmclean.tumblr.com/post/38621762808/faade-fetlife-alleged-abusers-database-engine

https://days.maybemaimed.com/post/28885988086/on-fetlife-and-our-discontentssignal-boost

https://www.theferrett.com/2018/04/25/why-ill-be-deactivating-my-fetlife-account-next-monday/

https://idlnmclean.tumblr.com/post/100818898986/the-theory-of-bdsm-as-parody-where-its-flawed

https://observer.com/2012/11/the-story-of-no-sadomasochistic-sex-clubs-sprout-up-on-ivy-campuses-and-coercion-becomes-an-issue/

https://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/2012/05/15/theres-a-war-on-part-7-theres-a-crack-in-everything-thats-how-the-light-gets-in/

#star-anise #abuse

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