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#Feelings In Various Ways

goatbi · 1 year

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Do You Remember? There Is Nothing Else I Can Do. Chapter One

When Black Mesa had finally gone bankrupt, after years of lawsuit after lawsuit after lawsuit, when finally everyone got tired of being pushed around, the Cleanup Initiative formed to go around the old bases and, as the name might suggest, clean everything up after them.

They had heard of the base down in the ocean from the main hub out in New Mexico. Isaac had been going through there-how the fuck is there this much toxic waste-and managed to find some old terminals they could break into. There was all the note on that base.

And the last person sent down there was Subject 13-V.

Now, Isaac can fully admit he joined the Initiative with a few ulterior motives now.

Most of them did. Isaac had come in, and, when asked, and told the truth. He was here looking for someone who went missing after working for Black Mesa.

Of course, they added his name to the list of people they were looking for, and that was that.

When he finally made the connection to Subject 13-V, he was both ecstatic, and horribly upset.

After all, he found something, but... well, does anyone really wanna find out that the person they were looking for became a test subject?

It did mean that he had an easy paper trail.

So finding the last known place of Subject 13-V was this underwater base hidden deep in the depths? Well... Isaac figured he'd finally found the closure he had been begging for.

Most of them, with their list of those they're looking for, found closure in knowing their death. There was one or two, who found their loved ones again, hidden of somewhere, but they were so far and few between that Isaac knew that there was a minuscule chance he'd ever see his brother again.

But going down there again and seeing everything for himself? He had to have the chance.

So they built the base down there, and down he went, bringing along with him a few friends.

Down in the depths, he wondered how Bubby felt. He was alone down here, while Isaac had people. They had left his brother down here alone.

A not unfamiliar rising rage burned in his throat at the thought, and he swallowed it down again, as he always had. No need getting angry at a dead company. He had already played his part in it's downfall. All that was left to do was clean up now.

Still. He stared out a window into the deep dark ocean, wondering if Bubby had been scared.

A pair of arms wrapped around his middle, and Isaac sighed, leaning into Eli's arms.

"We'll find something." He promised into Isaac's shoulder, and Isaac nodded a bit, wrapping a hand around Eli's arm.

"I just... wish this had all happened sooner... Maybe we would've found him alive." Isaac sighed, shaking his head. "No use thinking of that though..."

"You can still wish it happened, Izzy."

Isaac sighed, nodding slightly, pulling away to turn around just to hug him properly.

They stood there for a long moment, until Alyx leaned into the room. "Hey dad, Barney's ready to go."

They pulled back a bit, and Eli nods. "Alright sweetheart, I'll be right out." Alyx nodded, bouncing off again to the control room. Eli looked back to Isaac. "Ready to start looking?"

Isaac let out a breath, then nodded, following Eli out of the room.

#half life #hlvrai #isaac kleiner #eli vance #alyx vance #barneys here but shhh #feelings in various ways #hlvrai mermaid au

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slyandthefamilybook · 6 months

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A NON-EXHAUSTIVE BUT NEVERTHELESS EXHAUSTING LIST OF NEO-NAZI AND WHITE SUPREMACIST DOGWHISTLES

since some of y'all apparently need a refresher course. as always, use your judement when deciding if it's a dogwhistle or just innocent usage of a number or symbol

NUMBERS

100% - 100 percent white

109 or 110 - A reference to the 109 countries that have expelled, in whole or in part, their Jewish populations. 110 refers to the hope that more countries will do so, usually specifically the United States. Often posted on its own as a reply, or phrased as a question (e.g. "If you were kicked out of 109 bars it's probably our fault")

1290 - A reference to the Edict of Expulsion of 1290, which expelled the Jewish population of England

13/50 or 13/52 or 13/90 - The supposed statistic that Black Americans make up 13% of the population yet commit 50% or 52% of violent crime, or 90% of interracial violence. Often posted on its own as a reply

14 - The Fourteen Words, a Neo-Nazi slogan

14/23 - A number representing the Southern Brotherhood, an Alabama prison gang

1488 - A combination of the Fourteen Words and Heil Hitler

C18 - Combat 18, a British neo-Nazi group

18 - The letters A (1) and H (8), standing for Adolf Hitler

21-2-12 - The Letters U (21), B (2), and 12 (L), standing for Union, Brotherhood, and Loyalty, the slogan of the Unforgiven, a Florida prison gang

23 - Often thrown up as a hand sign, with two fingers raised on one hand and three fingers raised on the other. Represents the letter W (23), standing for white

271,000 - A reference to the supposed fact that the Red Cross claimed only 271,000 people had been murdered in concentration camps. In reality, that number reported by the Red Cross only came from reports from 13 concentration camps (there were 23 main camps, plus a large number of smaller "satellite" camps)

88 - H (8) H (8), standing for Heil Hitler

9% - A number representing the percentage of the world's population that is white

SYMBOLS

((( ))) - Triple parentheses, or echo. Used by neo-Nazis to call out someone as Jewish

Iron Cross - A German military decoration

Sonnenrad (Sun Wheel)

Reichsadler (Imperial Eagle) - A blocky, art-deco eagle facing to the side. Variants exist, some facing right, some facing left. The Parteiadler (Party Eagle) has a slightly different design. The Reichsadler is usually clutching a wreath with a swastika, although this is sometimes left out to maintain plausible deniability

Totenkopf (Death's Head) - A symbol used by the SS

Wolfsangel (Wolf's Hook) - Used as the insignia of various Wermacht (Nazi Military) divisions

Wolfsangel (horizontal)

Odal Rune - From the Proto-Germanic "Othala" meaning heritage

Algiz Rune - A symbol used by German nationalists

Celtic Cross

"Broken Sun" Cross

Arrow Cross - A Hungarian nationalist party that was active from 1935-1945. The symbol has been re-appropriated by modern neo-Nazis

Valknot

EMOJI

🤑 Greedy Face Emoji - Used to refer to "greedy Jews"

💰 Money Bag Emoji - Used to refer to "greedy Jews"

🥸 Disguised Emoji - Used to refer to Jews because of the enlarged nose

🤥 Lying Emoji - Used to refer to Jews because of the enlarged nose

👃 Nose Emoji - Used to refer to Jews

🙋‍♂️ Raising Hand Emoji - Used for its resemblance to the Sieg Heil salute

✋ Raised Hand Emoji - Used for its resemblance to the Sieg Heil salute

o/ or 0/ - Used for its resemblance to the Sieg Heil salute

🐸 Frog Emoji - A reference to Pepe the Frog, a webcomic charcter co-opted by the alt-right

👌 Okay Symbol Emoji - A hand symbol co-opted by the alt-right. Sometimes said to resemble the letters WP, or White Power

🚪 Door Emoji - Refers to the fact that some of the gas chambers (such as the ones at Auschwitz) had wooden doors, and therefore could not have been airtight enough to contain the Zyklon B gas used to murder prisoners. In reality, many of the wooden doors were either replaced with airtight metal ones, or were made airtight with strips of felt that then deteriorated or were removed

🚿 Showerhead Emoji - Refers to the showerheads used to dispense Zyklon B gas in the gas chambers

⛽ Gas Pump Emoji - Refers to gas chambers

⚡⚡ Double Lightning Emojis - Used for their resemblance to the Siegrune (victory rune) badge worn by members of the SS (Schutzstaffel)

💀 Skull Emoji - Used for its resemblance to the Totenkopf (Death's Head) used by the SS

☠️ Skull and Crossbones Emoji - Used for its resemblance to the Totenkopf (Death's Head) used by the SS

WORDS/PHRASES

6MWE - Six Million Wasn't Enough. A call for further genocide against Jews

AKIA - A Klansman I Am

Annudah Shoah - A mockery of both the Shoah (Holocaust) and the fear of further genocide

Auschwitz had a swimming pool/rec center/maternity ward/etc. - An attempt to diminish the horror of concentration camps by making them seem more like labor camps with amenities

Blood and Honor - A neo-Nazi slogan

Blood and Soil - A neo-Nazi slogan

Blood Libel - Not a phrase used by the far right, but something they often believe in or claim. Blood libel is an antisemitic conspiracy theory stretching back hundreds of years. The original claim was that Jews used the blood of Christian babies to bake matzah (a ritual food eaten on Passover). It has since evolved into images of Jews drinking blood, kidnapping and killing non-Jewish babies, and conspiracy theories about harvesting adrenochrome

Bowlcut - A reference to white supremacist mass-murderer Dylan Roof

Cohencidence - A portmanteau of Cohen (a common Jewish last name) and coincidence. Used to refer to Jewish control (e.g. "All these companies are owned by Jews! What a Cohencidence!")

COORS - "Comerades of Our Racial Struggle"

Cultural Marxism - A conspiracy theory that Jews are intentionally weakening "Western values" in order to make countries like the United States more susceptible to communism. This was called Cultural Bolshevism in Nazi Germany

Da Shoah or Muh Shoah or Muh Holocaust - A mockery of the Holocaust

Day of the Rope - A day referenced in neo-Nazi book The Turner Diaries when all race traitors will be hanged

Degenerate - An insult based on the false theory that bad morals will cause human beings to regress along the path of evolution (to de-evolve). Used to describe groups, individuals, or ideologies

Early Life - A reference to the "Early Life" section of Wikipedia biographies, which will reveal that a person is Jewish or has Jewish ancestry

Every Single Time - Every time something bad happens, the perpetrator is Jewish

Featherwood - A term derived from racist prison subculture. A featherwood is a woman associated with a racist gang

FGRN - For God, Race, and Nation. A Ku Klux Klan slogan

The Fourteen Words - A neo-Nazi slogan. "We must secure the existance of our people and a future for white children"

The Frankfurt School - A school of sociology founded at Goethe University Frankfurt in 1923. Usually blamed as the originator of "Cultural Marxism"

Fren - Internet slang. A diminutive of "friend", used to diminish Naziism and make it seems more harmless. Often used in usernames to describe one's self (e.g. sad_fren_88)

Globalist - A person who desires connection between countries in terms of politics, trade, and travel. Used to scaremonger about Jews destroying countries by removing their borders

Gorillion - A mockery of the number 6 million, being the amount of Jews who were murdered in the Holocaust

Goy - Hebrew for "nation", used by Jews to refer to non-Jews/gentiles. Used disparagingly by neo-Nazis to suggest Jews view non-Jews as beneath them

Goyslop - Unhealthy food that Jews force non-Jews to eat to keep them weak

Groid - A shortening of "Negroid", an archaic terms used to describe Black people

Groyper - A follower of avowed neo-Nazi Nick Fuentes. A reference to the "Groyper" meme, a variant of Pepe the Frog

GSHW - Germany Should Have Won (i.e. won World War II)

GTKRWN - Gas the Kikes; Race War Now

HDKH - Hitler Didn't Kill Himself. A neo-Nazi theory that Hitler escaped Germany and fled to Argentina

John 8:44 - "You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies." Part of Jesus' rebuke of his Jewish followers

Joo or Jooz - An intentional misspelling of "Jews" in an attempt to bypass censors or automatic content filters

Kate Hikes - A spoonerism of "hate kikes"

Kek - 4chan variation of "lol"

Kekistan - A fictional country imagined by white nationalists with a flag that resembles the Nazi battle flag

Khazar - A reference to the conversion of a group of Khazars (a Turkic people) to Judaism. Antisemites speculate that the entirity of Ashkenazi Jews are descended from these Khazar converts, and therefore have no historical, cultural, or genetic tie to the Levant. This has been proven false on multiple occasions

Kike - A racial slur against Jews

Lizard People or Reptilians - A conspiracy theory by far-right figure David Icke, claiming that world leaders are really reptilian aliens. Most people who believe this theory believe that the lizard people in question are the Jews

Magic Soil - A protest against the idea that people of one nationality can become people of another nationality simply by living in a country (i.e. "France doesn't have magic soil that turns Africans into Frenchmen")

Nicker - An intentional misspelling of the N word in an attempt to bypass censors or automatic content filters

Ns - Black people (as in the plural of the letter N)

NSDAP - Nationalsozialistiche Deutsche Arbeiterpartei. The Nazi party, but using an acronym that is unfamiliar to most people

NS - National Socialist

Noticer - Someone who "notices" that Jews control the world

The Noticing - A mass movement of people "noticing" that Jews control the world

New World Order - A far-right conspiracy theory about Jews taking control over the world and implementing a single world government. Also used in conjunction with phrases like "world banks"

OFOF - One Front, One Family. Slogan of the neo-Nazi group Volksfront

ORION - Our Race Is Our Nation

Oy Vey - A Yiddish exclamation meaning "oh woe". Used by neo-Nazis to mock Jews

Pattern Recognizer - Someone who has recognized the "pattern" of Jews always being in control

Peckerwood - A term derived from racist prison subculture. A peckerwood is a man associated with a racist gang

Power Level - A memeification of far-right beliefs. The more fascist your beliefs, the higher your "power level"

The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion - A 20th century Russian hoax claiming to be the minutes of meetings between Jewish leaders discussing how they will take control of the world

Pure Blood - Someone who is a pure member of the white race

Rabbi Smolett - A claim that Jews fabricate antisemitic hate crimes (a reference to actor Jussie Smolett who was accused of doing the same)

ROA - Race Over All

The Goyim Know - A phrase used by white supremacists acting like Jews who have discovered white supremacist activity, and are afraid that they've been found out. Often "The Goyim Know, Shut It Down", which adds the idea that Jews will prohibit any conversation that gets too close to the truth

The Red Cross - A reference to the supposed fact that the Red Cross claimed only 271,000 people had been murdered in concentration camps. In reality, that number reported by the Red Cross only came from reports from 13 concentration camps (there were 23 main camps, plus a large number of smaller "satellite" camps)

Tiny Hats or Tiny Hatted People - A reference to the Kippah or Yarmulke often worn by Jewish men

Reject Modernity, Embrace Tradition - A fascist slogan warning against social progress and calling for a return to a prelapsarian (usually ethnocentric) paradise

Rubbing Hands - A reference to an antisemitic charicature called "The Happy Merchant"

"To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you're not allowed to criticize" - A quote often misattributed to Voltaire, which neo-Nazis use to decry claims of antisemitism as efforts to silence them. In fact, it's a quote from a neo-Nazi pedophile

Shabbos Goy - A non-Jewish neighbor of a Jew who can be asked to perform acts Jews are forbidden from doing on the Sabbath (e.g. turning of a light or turning on the heat). Used by neo-Nazis to claim someone is a slave to Jews

Sheeeiiit - An over-the-top representation of how "shit" is said with a Blaccent. Often used in memes declaring Black people to be less intelligent

Shekels - Jewish currency (from the Hebrew word for weight, similar to how British currency is called the pound. In reality, the plural of shekel is shkalim). The name has been adopted by the State of Israel for the NIS (New Israeli Shekel). "Shekels" is used by neo-Nazis to mock Jews as being greedy

Synagogue of Satan - An antisemitic term for Jews, stemming from the Chrsitian Bible

They or Them - When used to describe a nebulous group of undefined adversaries, these words almost always refer to Jews

They Cry Out in Pain As They Strike You - An antisemitic proverb claiming that Jews will make false cries of antisemitism while at the same time perpetrating atrocities

Troon - A slur against trans people, particularly trans women

Volk - German for "folk", or "kind". Used by neo-Nazis to refer to white people

We Wuz Kangz - A racist phrase ment to mock Black nationalists

White Genocide - The myth that a group of people (usually Jews) are conspiring to eliminate the white race through various means including immigration, intermarriage, and homosexuality

WP - White Power

WN - White Nationalist or White Nationalism

Wooden Doors - Refers to the fact that some of the gas chambers (such as the ones at Auschwitz) had wooden doors, and therefore could not have been airtight enough to contain the Zyklon B gas used to murder prisoners. In reality, many of the wooden doors were either replaced with airtight metal ones, or were made airtight with strips of felt that then deteriorated or were removed

Zio - An abbreviation of "Zionist". Used derogatorialy by neo-Nazis

WPRWS - 'Weimar Problems Require Weimar Solutions" (sometimes shortened to just "Weimar Problems" or "Weimar Solutions"). Prior to the rise of the Nazi Party, the democratic Weimar Republic was in financial crisis (the eponymous "Weimar Problem"). This was often blamed on the Jews. The "Weimar Solution" is Naziism

ZOG - Zionist Occupied Government, reflecting the belief that the United States government is controlled by Jews

#atlas entry #this took me several hours to compile so please give it a reblog #there are also a lot of ways nazis will mock Black or Jewish names but that's less dogwhistle-y and more foghorn-y #if you see someone say “lol 'Stein' 👃” and don't understand what they mean. I dunno that's on you man #also sorry for putting kike on here but you'd be shocked how many people I've met who have genuinely never heard it before #also the ADL website has a bunch more representing various prison gangs #but I feel like it can be overwhelming to know that 11 12 and 13 can all be racist symbols. I don't wanna make people jump at shadows #besides those are more likely to be worn as tattoos than displayed in someone's twitter bio #jews #jewish #judaism #nazis #neo nazis #neo-nazis #christofascism #far right #alt-right #white supremacy #white nationalism

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squuote · 6 months

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Realized how often the Narrator anthropomorphizes things in the Ultra Deluxe in order to encourage or bait Stanley. Which is so much different than how he was in the past endings, specifically the apartment ending. The way he now refers to all the different quotable and memorable objects in the game as Stanley’s friends.

There’s just something about the way the Narrator does at least deeply try to relate to Stanley’s need as a human, understanding more that we are sociable creatures. Giving us the bucket as something to cherish and playing along with the notion (despite getting very obviously upset when Stanley gets too attached to the bucket and then tries to break down that narrative). The attempt made to actually reach out to Stanley in a human-like way.

I don’t know where I’m going with this but the attempt at connection through the similar actions of a person or something like that. Acknowledgement of human needs, even if it's more or less the bare minimum effort.

#the stanley parable #there’s just something about the change in the narrator as a character through the various editions of the game #how he acts in the original mod vs how he acts in the ultra deluxe #again this falls all the way into my whole the narrator acting more human as time goes on #and stanley becomes less human as time goes on concept i got brewing in my head at all times #sorry I’m always so chatty about this game btw I feel like I may be too annoying with it #if I am plz know that I’m sorry for it. fixation’s insane with this one #the stanley parable ultra deluxe #<- technically ig #edit: edited it just a smidge hehe #my friend brought up a good point and I wanted to add it :-)

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rqg179 · 26 days

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thinkin about lydia barkrock again i just. she's incredibly important to me both as someone who has chronic pain myself & as someone who grew up with a disabled parent. my mother was diagnosed when i was a toddler, so i don't remember a version of my mum who isn't disabled to some extent, it's just always been a fact of my life. and sure, there are certain things she can't do, and that list has probably gotten longer over the last few years, but she's still my mum, and she raised me, and she did a damn good job of it too. and idk i just. for the most part it's easy to find families that look like mine in fiction, but i'm not sure i've ever seen the medical side of my family in fiction in a way that feels as close to home as lydia & ragh's relationship does. it's just very lovely to see a disabled character who a) is a well-rounded character in and of herself, and b) is a parent, and is explicitly shown to be a good parent to her son

#idk that this is coherent At All i just am emotional about lydia barkrock #like my mum isn't a wheelchair user but she does use various mobility aids #and i just. idk man a lot of ragh & lydia's story feels very familiar to me in a way that's very comforting #ragh's obvious anxiety every time something happens with the gem is incredibly familiar #just the like. casual acknowledgement of what life is like both for the disabled person and for their loved ones #i can see myself in both sides of that story and it's very comforting #anway.#my post #d20 #fantasy high #fhjy #lydia barkrock

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goatbi · 1 year

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ahaha hey guys. Gives you chapter two of my fake dating au. like a year later.

#megamind #megamind fanfiction #roxanne ritchi #feelings in various ways #hiiiii

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comradekatara · 5 months

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i've been thinking about the significance of toph's feet as the crux of her power against/alongside the practice of footbinding. considering her role situated within (an analog for) tang dynasty nobility, thinking through that cultural practice poses direct relevance regarding the overarching theme of how she transcends imposed boundaries, in terms of gender roles, class expectations, and of course along the axis of her disability. i can only gesture to these ideas because i lack the historical framework to construct a legitimate argument, but i'm wondering whether anyone more knowledgable regarding these historical contexts (@atlaculture comes to mind, but of course no pressure!) would like to extrapolate from these ideas.

#a couple weeks ago i did go down a footbinding rabbithole and started reading various sources #but i still feel like i'm not particularly qualified to make this argument #since i lack a background in how to construct arguments w/in historiographical discursive practices. just like. in general #although i suppose i can still gesture towards it by compiling sources & moments from the text #in like. a 'web weaving' way #though that might take more work than i have the bandwidth for atm lmao #i already have so many drafts and absolutely no time for postin #so i would love it if someone else could take the wheel here #should they be so inspired #again @atlaculture i rly admire your work but no pressure #and/or anyone else who feels qualified: please feel free to expand on this!#toph #i think abt poppy beifong specifically a lot actually #(sidenote: her name being poppy is quite loaded?)#she barely says a word. and yet she communicates so much...

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canisalbus · 5 months

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I just recently started following you so i don't have the full lore of your murderous gay religiously traumatized doggos, BUT, from my understanding, they are Italian and i don't know what part of Italy they are from, yet i can't help headcanoning Vasco as Tuscan, while Machete is probably from some part of Veneto. And as an Italian who has heard Tuscans and Veneto dialet, well it's an hilarious mental image.

Vasco is indeed Tuscan, Florentine to be specific. He comes from a wealthy and influential noble family that has lived in Florence for centuries. He's proud of his roots, and it's usually easy for strangers to tell where he's from. He's a resonably successful politician and has worked as an ambassador and representative of Florence on numerous occasions.

Machete is originally Sicilian (ironically about as far from Veneto as possible), although he was taken to mainland at young age and has lived in several places since then, before ending up in Rome. The way I see it, he exhibits very little local color, his demeanor and (even though Italian hadn't become a standardized language yet) way of speaking are formal, neutral and scarcely give away any hints about his personal history, at least in the 16th century canon.

#I tend to take the easy way out with the various Italian dialects/languages and temper their effect on how the dog world works #even though to my understanding in reality they differ drastically from each other even today and they aren't always mutually intelligible #especially when you compare northern and southern ones #I know at least Sicilian is so different from modern day Italian it's considered a separate language entirely #it isn't the only one but I'm not a linguist and not even Italian so I'm not really qualified to be explaining any of this to you #main point is that my dogs are well traveled educated and adaptable so I'd like to believe that they manage #otherwise making this whole scenario work would become very complicated #language barriers aplenty #Machete is a fast learner with a natural knack for languages so he absorbs/decodes new ones easily #and I can see him acting as an interpreter if necessary #which is a valuable trait for someone working as the secretary of state I'd imagine #a lot of people he ends up dealing with speak at least passable Latin so at a pinch they might perhaps try switching to that?#Vasco might have a Tuscan flavor but Machete is more of a blank slate (at least in public and at work)#answered #fallenoftheromaempire #feel free to correct me if I've gotten something wrong I'm not an expert and this stuff is complicated for an outsider

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