I've just had the worst morning and I don't know how to go on...

I was shivering cold the entire time. I don't remember how much sleep I got but I do remember tosding and turning. That's always bad news. Then the security guard who had allowed me to use the white spot bench had the worst kind of wake up call, which was just not okay for my personal meeds to wake up slowly. He jammed me into too much full gear, and it really was morning like the promise. But that wasn't even the worst thing.

When I used that bench, I thought that meant I might be sage somewhere. That I could rely on this white spot bench, though were it any other situation, I would not have done this at all. But as I was turning around just to figure out where my lost belongings were...I jyst saw two men carrying off that very bench, and for some ungodly reason they put it somrwhere into the garbage area. It was all too much at once, and now I feel like they want me to kill myself, or I ferl like I want to kill myself. They openly made this action against what I can only know is...me, as a homeless person who never chose this. They openly acted on a petty hatred, as if "oh, we don't want homeless people getting even a shred of safety or security, so we're gonna take away this standin bed now, oh noes mah business." As if they thought I have some incurable disease just by being a homeless person. They are effectively saying through this one motion we hate you and will never support you or treat you like a fair human being if you don't have a house or act like the rest of us. I just...cried real hard a short while ago, then decided to post about it. Being in this destitute life situation, I am beyond comprehending why...what makes people so unpeople-like, when it comes to homelessness? Why do homeless get so...sledgehammered with such cruelty like this, when we are already under so much, no too much loss? Why can't it be enough that I am suffering loss of sleep every cold night, why must you all deepen the knife wound by forcing me to watch my one piece of solace dragged away to never be used by anyone again, let alone me? Why did you all forget that this was for everyone, I knew that too?! Why did this heartbreak have to happen after I used it?! As if...this very act is a victim blaming fabricating of guilt of some kind. They are trying to somehow make ME feel guilty for, what staying out of the cold and getting a safe spot to rest? And none of these individuals were around for me to even speak to about this matter in person, so now I'm stuck with this discomfort in my guts all because of them. EVERYONE, DO NOT GO TO THE WHITE SPOT ON SCOTT ROAD. DO NOT GIVE THEM ANY OF YOUR MONEY OR SUPPORT. THEY DON'T DESERVE IT. THEY ARE OPENLY OPPRRSSIVE TOWARDS THOSE WHO ARE ALREADY AT ROCK BOTTOM DESTITUTION, THEY DO NOT AND LIKELY WILL NEVER CARE ABOUT YOU OVER THEIR SLIMY SELFISH AND NONSENSICAL BUSINESS PRACTISES. God...how can anybody be oppressive and bizarrely cruel towards literal poor people who do not deserve any of it? Like myself, now...