Tumgik
#Dean Forrester The Slimy Worm
saltygilmores · 11 months
Text
Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls- Season 2, Episode 16, "There's The Rub", aka a Masterpiece of Gilmore-dom, AKA Forrester Can't Bring Me Down, AKA Jess Rory And Paris Eat Together And All Is Right With The World-Part 2
Before we continue I'd like to acknolwedge the sweet and thoughtful people who have been leaving generous compliments about this shitcircus of a thing I'm doing here. Mwah. Who's ready for more TTR? (PS-Don't forget to check out part 1 and all of the previous episodes I've recapped! You can find them in my pinned post. Tryna work on a new master index in the meantime).
Tumblr media
Dean Forrester's reaction to a woman talking. Can I just ask a question? Forrester, why are you even with this girl in the first place? Why did this relationship drag out over the course of five long years? You clearly don't like her. Every word she says seems to bore and annoy you. You don't want to join in any activities with her. She's clearly not gonna have sex with you (yet). You don't respect her or support her in any of her endeavors. Every week you do something to frighten her or make her fear you, and frankly, she's not a big fan of yours either. Truly, what is in it for you? Oh right, it's cause you're using her so you can eventually fuck her Mom. Silly me. Carry on, you sexist worm (no offense to decent worms everywhere).
Tumblr media
Rory:
Tumblr media
R: Do laundry, and watch tv and eat the Indian food that I love but my mom hates. Can ya'll believe this is an actual exchange of words that is happening right now? They're really going back and forth so Rory can gain Dean's approval to do her laundry. Oh hey, my Gilmore Girls Bingo Card is filling up! We have a "Dean, are you mad?" TIMES TWO.
Tumblr media
WHY SHOULD HE BE MAD THAT YOU WANT TO SPEND ONE EVENING WITHOUT HIM. RORY... PLEASE. This is so worrisome.
Tumblr media
Idk maybe cause you're a fucking tapeworm? Sorry tapeworms. You're head lice. Your leather coat fucking smells.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
WHAT IS HAPPENING? Dear God, Rorygil. I love you but please grow a spine. In the span of mere minutes we saw her cave under pressure from Paris to the point she agreed to tutor her for an entire week, which was totally unnecessary. Paris was asking for like, one evening. A minute later RoryGil caves under pressure from Dean, and now she's talking like she's going to cater to his every (probably sick and perverse) need like some kind of servant, just because he scowled when she said she wanted to do her laundry. THERAPY NOW, RORYGIL.This people-pleasing is wildly out of control. If therapy is not a viable option, just fucking kick Forrester in the nuts and tell Paris to chill because you'll have plenty of time to play Dysfunctional Marriage when you're older and married to each other someday.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
(TWWGG is alone in her room, repeatedly saying KICK HIM IN THE NUTS out loud) IT'S OKAY NEIGHBORS. I'M JUST YELLING AT DEAN FORRESTER. FICTIONAL CHARACTER FROM EARLY 2000s TV SITCOM. SLIMY WORM. NOTHING TO BE CONCERNED ABOUT. GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS. Let me translate this DeanSpeak for you. I'm a pro. "I'm a saint": "I'm a saint for dating you even though you won't let me do things like come over while your mom is out of town and feel you up on the couch." "I'm confused": "I'm confused as to why you would ever prefer blissful solitude over giving me an awkward handjob on your Mom's couch." You know, if you weren't enough of a worm as it is, you probably fucking pressure her sexually too. Me singing to Dean Forrester:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Is a kissing coach a thing? Couldn't someone at the WB Network put aside a couple of bucks to teach Jared Padalecki how to kiss? Barring that, at least a blow up doll or pillow to practice on? The fault CLEARLY does not lie with Alexis Bledel.
Tumblr media
Can you imagine you're AB, you fucking get paid to kiss Milo at work and if that wasn't enough, you're really dating him, so you leave your job where you got paid to kiss him all day and go kiss him some more at home... I think about this A LOT. Cut to Emily and Lorelai at the spa, where hell has apparently frozen over because Lorelai Gilmore has actually shut the hell up. Me trying to make small talk on a first date:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
HA, someone won't shut up and leave you alone and is constantly invading your personal space! How about them apples, Lorelai!
Tumblr media
What is this magical place called a "Quiet Room" and can I shove any gilmore girls character of my choosing in there at any time? L: Mom, you booked us for a couples massage. Do you know what most couples do 5 minutes after this is over? They have sex, together, probably while wearing their robes. Someone on Gilly Girls said S-E-X. I am scandalized! E: You've been pouting, sighing, sulking, mumbling, rolling your eyes the whole time. L: That's just how I detox. LMAO. What a stellar line. This episode is so great. Despite the presence of Forrester the Worm.
Tumblr media
Whoa Nelly! What kind of cosmic alignment was in place that day for Lorelai to actually apologize for something?
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Err, two things... Firstly: Mr. Peanut Pajamas. I always love Rory's pajamas and I wonder where they all came from. Secondly: Is Rory running a laundry service for all 9,000+ citizens of Stars Hollow out of her home? Five days a week she wears a school uniform. Where did all these clothes come from?
Tumblr media
I love it when Paris shows up on Rory's door step, she always looks like an abandoned puppy looking for a home for the night. And she sort of is. P: I tried to stay home and study by myself! But I can't! There is this aching in my heart that I just cannot ignore! It grows louder and louder by the minute! Rory Gilmore, I love you! Will you marry me? Okay, so I made up everything past the first line, but you know she was thinking it.
Tumblr media
Paris guilt trips Rory into letting her stay because Rory feels bad that Paris' parents don't love her. Poor RoryGil. Just let her LIVE. R: Fine I'll study with you for one hour then you have to go home!
Tumblr media
Narrator: Paris Geller would not in fact, be going home, but her NotGoingHomeNess would make for one enchanted evening.
Tumblr media
Literally puppy eyes! This is after Rory said they would start studying after she got changed, and Paris responded "My hour doesn't start until you get back, right?" To be continued.
27 notes · View notes