#Cardan knows it is unwise to make Jude do something that she doesn’t want to | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

myqueenjudeduarte · 5 years

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jurdan smut + "look down"

Ok this is A Mess because I wrote it over the course of like 2 weeks and a ton of moods but here we go!!!

Cardan knelt on the floor of his chambers, knees aching from the cold stone. Jude stood over him, clad all in black, looking every bit an image of wickedness, of domination.

Cardan had never wanted her so desperately.

He gazed at her, studied the coldness of her face, the appraising look she was giving his naked form as he knelt before her. He felt like he was being studied, like he was less than a faerie, less even than a mortal.

He liked it.

“Look down,” Jude instructed him sharply. “Do not presume to look at me.”

Cardan did as he was told, predicting that it would be unwise to disobey her in her current mindset. He looked at the floor, looked at his knees against the stone and his hands, bound before him. He missed looking at her instantly, partially because she was the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on and partially because without looking at her he couldn’t guess her intentions. And he knew she could only have sinister intentions, with the way she was behaving.

They had entered his chambers mere minutes earlier, after she had been distant all night, reserved and cool. She hadn’t wasted any time before ordering him to kneel, an order he had scoffed at until he saw the look on her face. Realized she was far past serious. When she bound his hands, any inkling of a thought that this was all a joke left his mind.

Now, she stood before him, too close for him to be able to see more than her feet from his new vantage point.

“Good,” she cooed, voice approving. The affectionate tone made him all the more terrified.

“Jude,” Cardan began, “what are we—“

Her fingers tangled in his hair, pulling it up sharply at the back, forcing him to look even farther down.

“You will not speak tonight, I think,” she said, voice still smooth, even. No signs except her tight grip on his hair to tell him that she was anything but the picture of calmness.

“In fact, if you speak again, I will have no choice but to gag you. You enjoy the sound of your own voice enough that I know this may prove difficult, but I’m confident in your abilities.”

Cardan was more turned on than he could ever remember being.

He did not reply, wanted to give her no reason to gag him. Her grip on his hair lightened after several moments of his silence and she stroked his hair back from his face instead, hands gentle. He leaned into the touch and was rewarded with a slap to the face.

Jude laughed softly. “I just didn’t want you to grow complacent.”

She was going to be the death of him.

“You can stand now, without looking at me or speaking, and lie on the bed.”

Cardan obeyed and stood, head down, cheek still smarting from Jude’s slap, before lying on the bed, stretched out and awaiting her.

He could hear Jude pacing back and forth at the foot of the bed, but dared not ask why or what she had planned. He could only hope that whatever nefarious plots she was thinking up, they would end with both of them coming. Cardan didn’t think he could bear anything else.

Without warning, Jude’s finger was under Cardan’s chin, pushing his head up so he had no choice but to look at her. He hoped she wouldn’t count something she forced him to do as breaking the rules, but with the pure calculated control emanating from her, he knew it was a distinct possibility. Still, he made eye contact, knew there was desire in his eyes as well as a healthy dose of fear.

“Here’s how this will go,” she said quietly, looking into his eyes. “You will not move. If you move, I punish you, and then I restrain you. I don’t want to have to restrain you, and you won’t like it if I do. If you make a sound, I punish you, and if you speak words without permission we’re done for the night. Behave, and I’ll reward you. Nod yes or shake your head no when I ask you questions. Simple enough?”

Cardan nodded. Jude smiled sweetly, a smile laced with poison.

“Good. Then we’ll start.”

Jude lowered herself to Cardan’s chest and began pressing kisses there, trailing them down his sides and across his stomach, gentle at first, then with suction, then with teeth. When Cardan finally shifted, a near imperceptible motion, Jude slapped him again, hissing.

“I thought we had an agreement, Cardan,” she said, almost pouting. “I thought you were going to cooperate. Behave. I guess I was wrong,” her voice was resigned, a contrast to her actions as she pinched his nipple sharply, twisted it, and bit down hard on the flesh of his neck.

Cardan stayed perfectly still, near trembling with the effort, but stilled even the urge to shake. Eventually, her harsher motions stopped and she resumed the kissing, dipping lower this time to place kisses nearer and nearer the place he most wanted her mouth.

He was hard against her chest as she kissed her way across his stomach, occasionally stopping to suck the skin there into her mouth, to leave bruises and marks along her path. When she finally moved low enough to press a kiss to the tip of his cock, swirled her tongue around the head, he couldn’t help but let out a moan. It was faint, but it was there.

Jude’s motions stilled for a moment before she bit the inside of his thigh, hard. He jerked involuntarily and she let out a low, dangerous laugh.

“You are very, very bad at this,” she said. He dared not look at her, as badly as he wanted to, knew it would only make things worse for him. Instead, he nodded. Jude laughed again, and this one sounded slightly more genuine.

She dug her nails hard into his hips as she took him into her mouth once more, slowly, slowly moving down the length of him before stopping to speak.

“You don’t come, do you understand?”

Cardan nodded.

“This is about my pleasure, not yours. If I decide you can come tonight at all, I’ll tell you.”

Cardan wanted to plead with her to let him come, but knew there was no chance she would if he spoke, so he simply nodded again, then remained still.

Even under the resumed ministrations of her mouth, he continued to lie still, stay quiet. Eventually, she looked up and gave him an approving look.

“Very good,” she crooned, and he felt himself basking in her praise, desperate for her validation, for any sign of warmth.

Jude moved up his body, straddling his hips and casually tweaking her own nipples. Cardan may have drawn the line at murder in his every day life, but in this moment, he would’ve killed for permission to touch her.

“Cardan,” Jude said, voice much gentler now that he was behaving. “Do you want to fuck me?”

Cardan nodded enthusiastically, and Jude grinned down at him. She reached up to stroke his hair, down his face.

“You’re beautiful,” she said. “All faeries are, but you, Cardan… you’re beautiful.”

Cardan was as touched by her words as he was confused by the total change in her demeanor. He wanted to tell her she was beautiful, too, but knew she would stop if he spoke.

Still, he could see sadness in her eyes, see it lurking behind her smile and her now-soft words, and there was nothing he wanted more than to find out why she was so sad and what he could do.

He made his choice.

“I’m sorry, Jude, but I have to know what I can do to help you.”

For a moment, he thought he saw tears in her eyes, before she rolled off him, making a sound of frustration.

“God damn it, Cardan! I told you not to speak! I told you I would stop! Why can’t you just do what I tell you to for once? Why do you always have to show me that I have no real power, that no matter what I do, I’m still just… a mortal?”

It was the first time Cardan had heard Jude say “mortal” like it was a dirty word, however many times it had come out of his own mouth sounding just the same. Still, though, he knew that the absolute irrelevance of what she had said was pointing him right to the root of the problem.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “For ever making you feel as though being mortal makes you lesser.”

Jude looked at him, disgust in her eyes that he knew was directed at herself. “Doesn’t it, though?”

“Jude,” Cardan said, “surely you know that you are my better in every way.”

“You don’t really believe that.”

“I couldn’t have said it if I didn’t.”

Jude conceded that point.

“I ruined it, didn’t I? You liked my control, and I ruined it with my stupid, horrible feelings.”

“If you’ll recall, my dear, I am the one who spoke so that you would stop. The way you feel is far more important to me than my pleasure. You must know that.”

Jude nodded, but still looked miserable.

“Tell me, Jude. Talk to me.”

Jude closed her eyes.

“My life should be good right now. It is good, better than it’s been in a long, long time. And yet all the things, the insecurities I never addressed because I was too busy fighting to survive, fighting for power, are surfacing now, because they can, I suppose. And I feel so inferior, always, to you, to Nicasia, to every faerie. I don’t know how to stop.”

Jude looked at Cardan with desperation in her eyes, and he was honored — beyond honored, really — that she had trusted him with this.

“Nicasia?” was his first reply. “You feel inferior to Nicasia? Think of all she’s done. Think of all she condoned, all she tried to do. You are a world better than she has ever been, Jude.”

“You loved her, though.”

“I didn’t.”

“You told me you did.”

Cardan laughed harshly. “I was young and I was stupid, Jude. What I felt for her and what I feel for you…” he trailed off. They spoke like this rarely, and they admitted the truth of their feelings even less.

“I love you, Jude. Anything I ever felt for Nicasia pales in comparison.”

“I love you,” Jude replied simply. “We should say that more often, shouldn’t we?”

“We should,” Cardan agreed, and he turned to kiss her softly. “As for the rest of what you said, think of what you have done in your short life, Jude, and compare it to what faeries have done with our long ones. You put a king on the throne, Jude. You went from seneschal to queen. You’ve been attacked or nearly killed more times than I can count, and still you survive. You’ve done so much to prevent faeries from glamouring and using humans. You were tortured and returned to me.” His voice softened as he spoke those final words, both with regret and with relief.

“No faerie I have met in my life was as much of a survivor, and none as beautiful while doing spectacular things. You are measures beyond any faerie, Jude. Never doubt that.”

Jude smiled softly, a smile of genuine appreciation at his words, before it turned wicked once more.

“You tell me never to doubt that… but I thought I was the one giving orders.”

With that, she straddled him once more and without further preamble sank down onto him. Cardan cried out and Jude laughed.

“Cardan! You are impossibly bad at following simple rules, do you know that?”

Cardan grumbled something that sounded like “I praise you and you tear me down,” but he was smiling.

They both were.

#jurdan fanfic #my posts #my fic #i gotta write something really mean soon to make up for all this shit #amandlas

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