The seasonal depression (if that's the right term, idk) of like. It's hitting more than it has in the last few years that I miss Christmas with a few specific people. Back in Virginia. This really started this week when I saw pictures of Adam and his wife and kids walking through the Christmas lights tunnels in Maymont and that hit me like a truck and also made me feel... softly nostalgic but since then it's been more little bits that filter in, of missing very specific small things. Places. I ran across a Simpsons quote and I remembered it whole and I just got a pang that I miss my brother Michael. And I know a lot of it is just dumb fuckin nostalgia popping up and that the past lies, and that a lot of what I missed can easily be replicated or bettered somewhere new, but. Idk. Im just really sappy and sentimental for the Christmas lights over the Maymont tunnel and wishing I could walk it with (not my brother brother) but the people I thought were brothers/people I thought would always be in my life.